Www.actonedrama.com



The Intellectual GhettoDoubletalkBill MajeskiCAST:TV show host CARLTON FLIBNER, smooth, confident, pleasant; ABIGAIL DRINCH, feisty woman of about sixty-five. She is quietly determined to further her cause —via TV.SETTING: TV show interview set-up consisting of' two chairs.CARLTON: (To audience) Good morning, everyone. Welcome to Sunday Morning Intellectual Ghetto which brings you face to face with some of the people who make New York City what it is today. (He turns to face the guest.). With us today is Miss Abigail Drinch, head of the Society to Preserve Little Old New York. Miss Drinch, glad to have you with us.ABIGAIL: Thank you.CARLTON: I understand that your group...ABIGAIL: Glad to be here.CARLTON: (Take at her two-part response) Uh .... yes ...that you people are engaged in a number of projects to help restore the sylvan beauty of the New York of loner ago.ABIGAIL: That's it.CARLTON: Would you care to tell.ABIGAIL: (Continuing her thought) ... in a nutshell.CARLTON: (Shakes head.) ... tell us about these projects. ABIGAIL: My pleasure. You see ...CARLTON: (Interrupting) Perhaps it might be better to talk first about the organization itself.ABIGAIL: Have it your way.CARLTON: So ... tell us about your group.ABIGAIL: (Smiling amiably) It's your show.CARLTON: It was.ABIGAIL: Well, we started in a small place on West Broadway many years ago. That was when West Broadway was considered East Broadway and West 4th Street was considered downtown.CARLTON: It still is downtown.ABIGAIL: (Going right on) Our first headquarters was just a little old tin shack with a broken ceiling and no windows. CARLTON: A humble beginning. Where is your office now? ABIGAIL: Same place. But we have a window now. It was donated by one of our past members.CARLTON: Deceased?ABIGAIL: No. Franklin.CARLTON: Go on, Miss Drinch.ABIGAIL: Well ... that's about it.CARLTON: Now tell me, Miss Drinch ...ABIGAIL: We try to keep New York old. And we feel that an old New York is a clean New York and a clean New York is an old New York.CARLTON: Simple but forceful truth. What is your main project now?ABIGAIL: We want to uncover the Minetta Stream. CARLTON: Isn't that the underground stream that runs under lower Manhattan and empties into the Hudson River?ABIGAIL: Bosh and double bosh. You listen to some people and you'd think everything empties into the Hudson. CARLTON: You unearth the Minetta Stream and then what? ABIGAIL: And then what? Haven't you been listening? CARLTON: (Confused) Miss Drinch, are we missing something here? (ABIGAIL pats her body, looks down.)ABIGAIL: No, I've got everything. How about yourself? CARLTON: (A little rattled) No, I'm fine. Proceed.ABIGAIL: The Minetta Stream, as we see it, runs a crazy-quilt pattern, starting from Houston Street, up to West 23rd Street, over to Fifth Avenue, past the reviewing stand, up to Times Square where it forms a huge lake which encompasses the new Coliseum.CARLTON: And you want to unearth that entire stream? ABIGAIL: That's our hope.CARLTON: A noble undertaking, but wouldn't that ... ABIGAIL: New York would be much prettier.CARLTON: Uh ... yes, but wouldn't that require a lot of razing of buildings and tearing up of streets?ABIGAIL: We think we have the solution to that. CARLTON: And what is that solution?ABIGAIL: We'd raze all the buildings and tear up the streets. It's the only way. (Firmly, striking table or chair arm) The only way!CARLTON: (Dubious about the whole interview) I must ask you ithis question, Miss Drinch. Hope you don't mind. How old are you?ABIGAIL: How old am I? (She does mind.) What difference does that make?CARLTON: No offense. I just wanted to inject a comment here that I think you're a very sprightly woman for your age.ABIGAIL: If you don't know how old I am, how do you know how sprightly I'm supposed to be?CARLTON: (Beleaguered) I mean that you're sprightly for any age. Let me put it that way.ABIGAIL: (Irritated) You can put it any way you want to, pal. For my dough you can put it in your hat and drop it out the window.CARLTON: No offense.ABIGAIL: I've been called sprightly by bigger people than Iyou.CARLTON: I suppose. We still have some time left. Can you tell our listeners how the Minetta Stream got its name? ABIGAIL: I don't know. Is that so all-fired important?CARLTON: Well, I thought ... uh ... no, it's not. Well, Miss Drinch, thanks for coming here today and I'll be following your fight to get the Minetta Stream uncovered with great interest.ABIGAIL: Do you think you can give us some financial support? CARLTON: We can't. It's not the station's policy.ABIGAIL: Well, how about broadcasting a barrage of scathing attacks on the city officials for being dunderheads.CARLTON: Can't use that word on the air. We'd like to help, but we can't. But we do wish you luck ...ABIGAIL: (Standing up) Luck don't feed the bulldog, pal. CARLTON: But, Miss Drinch ...ABIGAIL: I'm splitting, pal. I'll hit the Donahue (Oprah, Geraldo — make your choice) show and pick up some big bucks.CARLTON: (Standing up as she exits) Miss Drinch... ABIGAIL: (Firmly) So long, pal. And thanks for nothing. (She heads out. As she does so, she gives a quick little skip and an energetic jump, belying her years.) Sprightly indeed. (Turns) Cheapskate! (She leaves as CARLTON, hand to forehead, sinks sadly into his seat at blackout.) ................
................

In order to avoid copyright disputes, this page is only a partial summary.

Google Online Preview   Download