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***DAILY DOSE OF WEIRD NEWS

***CREATION MOMENTS MINUTE

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WELCOME TO THE SHOW!

It's (THE JOCK SHOW); recommended by 4 out of 5 doctors that recommend radio shows to their patients that listen to radio shows.

BIBLE VERSE OF THE DAY

[The Lord says,] "Even to your old age and gray hairs, I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you. --Isaiah 46:4

Oh, the depth and riches of the wisdom and the knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out. — Romans 11:33

HEARTLIGHT VERSE & THOUGHT

Let not my heart be drawn to what is evil, to take part in wicked deeds with men who are evildoers; let me not eat of their delicacies. — Psalm 141:4

Thought: How important is it for you to be pure? How important is it for you to be righteous? For David, who had experienced the elation of sharing an intimate holy relationship with God and the utter pain of miserably failing God, guarding his heart was of ultimate importance. He didn't want to have any part of evil. He didn't want to be attracted to it. He didn't want to be a part of those who committed vile deeds. He didn't even want to take part in the luxuries and feasts. What are we willing to ask God to withhold from us to keep us from evil?

Prayer: Father, don't let me be tempted by what is vile, hideous, or evil. Give me a holy revulsion for what is false and deceptive. Give me clarity of sight and purity of heart to be able to see evil and the things associated with it so that I can stay far away from the tempter's snare and the things that would soil your holy name. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.

The Thoughts and Prayers for Today's Verse are written by Phil Ware. You can email questions or comments to phil@.

“BIRTH VERSE” OF THE DAY

The chapter and verse corresponds to the month and the day!

2 Corinthians 5:20 NIV = We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: Be reconciled to God.

TODAY IS WEDNESDAY – MAY 20, 2015

(NOTE: Some holidays may be duplicated due to various calendars reporting conflicting dates)

WEIRD, WACKY, STRANGE, ZANY, ODD, BIZARRE, QUIRKY, UNUSUAL HOLIDAYS!

THERE ARE ONLY 220 SHOPPING DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS.

Today is NATIONAL TAKE YOUR CAT TO WORK DAY. ***MARLAR: Take him to the Xerox room and make him a copy cat!

Today is SHOW YOUR NAVEL DAY. ***MARLAR: Which I am doing – I brought oranges to work for lunch. You thought I was going somewhere else with this, didn't ya?

Today is WEIGHTS AND MEASURES DAY. ***MARLAR: The least popular day of the year for unscrupulous business owners or members of Weight-Watchers.

May is NATIONAL BIKE TO WORK MONTH.  ***MARLAR: I’d challenge you to do it just like I do every day, but seeing as I live less than half-a-mile to work, biking really isn’t all that impressive.  But hey, if you can do it, it’d be a great way to protest high gas prices!

Today is GO FLY A KITE WITH YOUR KIDS AFTER WORK DAY.  ***MARLAR: And if you don’t have kids, just tell someone to go fly a kite.

INTERNATIONAL PICKLE WEEK begins today, honoring the world's funniest vegetable. (audio clip)

TODAY IS ALSO. . .

Eliza Doolittle Day

Emergency Medical Services for Children Day

National Employee Health and Fitness Day

Turn Beauty Inside Out Day

Weights & Measures Day

COMING UP NEXT

THURSDAY, MAY 21

American Red Cross Founder’s Day

End of the World / Rapture Party Day (prediction)

Hummus Day

I Need a Patch For That Day

National Wait Staff Day

One Day Without Shoes Day

Red Nose Day

Sister Maria Hummel Day

World Day for Cultural Diversity for Dialogue and Development

FRIDAY, MAY 22

Canadian Immigrants Day

Don’t Fry Day

Harvey Milk Day

National Maritime Day

National Title Track Day

World Goth Day

Heat Awareness Safety Day

National Wig Out Day

SATURDAY, MAY 23

International Day to End Obstetric Fistula

International Jazz Day

Julia Pierpont Day

Declaration of the Bab Day

National Heritage Breeds Day

National Polka Day

National Taffy Day

World Crohn’s and Colitis Day

World Turtle Day

SUNDAY, MAY 24

Brother’s Day

Indianapolis 500

International Tiara Day

Morse Code Day

MONDAY, MAY 25

National Missing Children’s Day

National Tap Dance Day

Nerd Pride Day or Geek Pride Day

Towel Day

Memorial Day

Prayer for Peace Memorial Day

TUESDAY, MAY 26

World Lindy Hop Day

WEDNESDAY, MAY 27

National Senior Healthy and Fitness Day

World MS (Multiple Sclerosis) Day

Cellophane Tape Day

ON THIS DAY

1506: Christopher Columbus died in Spain. There was no notice given of his death; only a few attended the funeral. Nobody knows for sure where he's buried, though some believe his remains were moved to the Dominican Republic.

1878: William R. Featherstone died in Montreal at age 32. The Canadian Methodist wrote the hymn "My Jesus, I Love Thee."

1916: Saturday Evening Post published artist Norman Rockwell’s first cover. It depicted a boy having to care for his infant sibling, pushing a baby carriage, while his buddies set off the play ball.

1942: Glenn Miller and His Orchestra recorded "(I've Got a Gal in) Kalamazoo" at Victor Studios in Hollywood.

1956: In what may be major-league baseball’s wildest wild pitch, the ball slipped out of the hand of Washington Senator southpaw Chuck Stobbs and landed 30 rows up in the stands on the first-base side of home plate.

1971: Singer Peter Cetera lost four teeth and had to have major plastic surgery after being mugged at a Cubs game in Chicago.

1988: Champ bull rider Lane Frost became the first cowboy to ride Red Rock to the 8-second bell. In the previous eight years, 312 cowboys had tried unsuccessfully to ride the rodeo circuit’s toughest bull.

1993: To celebrate the final episode of TV’s Cheers, Jay Leno did The Tonight Show live from the Bull & Finch bar. Ironically, most of the Cheers cast seemed to be drunk. (audio clip)

1995: Singer Don Henley married model Sharon Summerall in Malibu. Witnesses included Bruce Springsteen, Tony Bennett, Sheryl Crow, Sting, Billy Joel, and the Chieftains.

1997: News agencies reported that Don Gorske of Fond du Lac, Wisconsin, had eaten 14,837 Big Macs since 1973 when he was 17 and drove his first car to McDonalds. Don loves Big Macs. He proposed to his wife in a McDonald’s parking lot.

2001: Burglars entered a warehouse near Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, disconnected the video security system, and made off with $526,000 worth of extra-strength throat lozenges. Police said the warehouse was full of other items, but only the lozenges were taken.

2003: The Argentine women's magazine "Claudia" apologized for a tip that led to more than 100 microwave explosions. The magazine had said women could restore old bottles of nail polish by microwaving them for three minutes. But many of the women who tried reported chemical reaction made their microwaves explode.

2007: A wheelchair-bound German stunned police when they pulled him over in the city of Schwerin for using the road and found he was 10 times over the legal alcohol limit for drivers. Police decided they couldn't legally impound the 31-year-old man's wheelchair, but they insisted he would face some type of punishment.

TODAY IN CHRISTIAN HISTORY

325: Emperor Constantine convenes the first Ecumenical Council in Nicea (now Iznik), Bithynia, to discuss Arianism, a heresy arguing Jesus was not divine. "I entreat you," Constantine said at the opening of the Council of Nicea, "to remove the causes of dissension among you and to establish peace." The council attempted to resolve the bitter conflict by anathematizing Arius (Arianism's founder) and ordering the burning of all his books, but the conflict continued to rage for decades.

1232: Anthony of Padua is canonized. Many miracles were attributed to him.

1277: Pope John XXI dies when his castle ceiling collapses on him. The name was a mistake—there was never a John XX.

1506: Christopher Columbus, who saw himself as a missionary, not just an explorer, dies impoverished in Spain at age 55. "I hope in our Lord that it will be the greatest honor to Christianity that, unexpectedly, has ever come about," he concluded in the log of his first voyage to the Americas.

1527: Anabaptist leader Michael Sattler has his tongue cut out, is tortured and burned as an archheretic. Once a

monk, he was appalled by the corruption he saw around him and joined the Anabaptists after serious Bible study.

1593: Arminius challenges his Dutch Calvinist opponents to show anything in scripture contrary to his preaching.

1690: John Eliot, English missionary to the Native Americans of New England and publisher of the first Bible printed in America, dies.

1960: Six months before John F. Kennedy, a Roman Catholic, is elected president of the United States, the Southern Baptist Convention condemns the election of Catholics to public office. "When a public official is inescapably bound by the dogma and demands of the church," it declared, "he cannot consistently separate himself from these.

1874: Ira Sankey, who sings in Moody's revival services, finds the words to his popular song, "The Lost Sheep," sets them to music, and sings it the next day for the first time.

1937: Jesse Overholtzer charters the Child Evangelism Fellowship.

HOLLYWOOD, SPORTS AND CELEBRITY FIGURE BIRTHDAYS

o actress Angela Goethals 38

o Model Naomi Campbell, 45

o actress (“Facts of Life”) Mindy Cohn 49 (audio clip)

o Actor (Balki on “Perfect Strangers”) Bronson Pinchot, 56 (audio clip)

o Actor (Strange Brew, “Second City Television – SCTV”, “Grace Under Fire,” Stripes) Dave Thomas, 66 (audio clip)

o Singer/actress (Moonstruck, Mask) Cher, 69

BEE-BOP BIRTHDAYS

(Music Artist Birthdays From )

1901 : Jimmy Blythe

1925 : Vic Ames (The Ames Brothers)

1930 : Teddy Randazzo

1939 : Sal Mineo

1940 : Shorty Long

1942 : Jill Jackson (Paul & Paula)

1944 : Joe Cocker

1946 : Cher

1954 : Jimmy Henderson (Black Oak Arkansas)

1955 : Steve George (Mr. Mister)

1958 : Jane Wiedlin (Go-Go's)

1958 : Jane Wiedlin (Go-Go's)

1960 : Susan Cowsill (The Cowsills)

1966 : Tom Garman (Belly)

1972 : Busta Rhymes

1984 : Naturi Naughton (3LW)

SECRETS OF THE UNIVERSE

Why does frightening someone sometimes cure hiccups?

Frightening people is often a useful social tool. For example, Mafia loan officers use the technique as a practical reminder that you must pay back your loan when it's due, or you will find yourself in deep due. So why shouldn't fright have medical applications as well? Hiccups happen when something irritates the nerves that control the diaphragm. The result is spasms. Maybe you ate or drank too fast or too much. Really, who cares what caused it, you just want to stop it. The way to do that is to fool those nerves. Since the same nerves also influence your heartbeat and blood pressure, why not divert them with something that will force them to stop diddling your diaphragm and direct their attention elsewhere? Fright does that. I recently tried this with a friend of mine. I should say former friend though... because it worked. Perhaps a bit too well. And my, was he scared. He stopped hiccupping immediately, and barfed on my beige rug.

Source: EVER WONDER WHY? By Douglas B. Smith

CHRISTIAN ARTIST NEWS

Do you like the Christian Artist News you see below? It's just a tiny sample of the 5-6 pages of material you could be receive every weekday… and it’s FREE! Become one of their subscribers at !

Nancy Leigh DeMoss is dealing with denial. The speaker on Revive Our Hearts tweeted a picture of an AARP card that she just received in the mail. Along with the picture was the caption: clearly intended for someone else.

Natalie Grant walked into her room to find her daughter Sadie trying on a pair of her six inch heels. Natalie Grant said: seriously, my 4 year old walks in them better than I do.

Casting Crown's Juan DeVevo has a new life goal. He tweeted that he want's to start a company with a girly name and get big enough to buy the name rights to a stadium. One of his ideas was the Pretty Pink Princess Stadium.

Another groaner from Citizen Way:

What did the carrot say to the wheat? ” ‘Lettuce’ rest, I’m feeling ‘beet.’ ”

What did the paper say to the pen? “I feel quite all ‘write,’ my friend.”

What did the teapot say to the chalk? Nothing, you silly . . . teapots can’t talk!

Newsboys front man Michael Tait found a fun way to celebrate his birthday. He was in the Bahama's, providing music for the Love Song Couples Getaway and had the chance to swim with dolphins on his special day.

Kutless member James Mead was climbing again this week. He says he found a ladder in the abandoned grandstands. James said: When I find ladders I just climb them. It's been a long standing tradition of mine to get to the highest point at any venue, although I'm scared of heights. This time Kutless was in Iowa and James literally had a birds eye view. He tweeted a picture of a birds nest in the I beam holding up the roof.

Sidewalk Prophets front man Dave Frey was eating lunch at Gillette Stadium this week. While there he tweeted: Only for my friend Keith would I agree to lunch at the home of the Patriots. Good times, but now I feel a little deflated.

Casting Crowns Mark Hall shared a picture on instagram taken as he ran away from a major explosion. The caption on the photo was: What youth leaders do after the youth leave.

Third Day's Mark Lee is out with a post card from Canada. Third Day was recently on tour in the country and Mark shared some of the things he has learned. From ketchup potato chips to Tim Horton donuts to Poutine, consisting of french fries cover in gravy and cheese curds, Mark has been getting the full Canadian experience. But Mark says one of the biggest changes has been the lack of internet access available. And he says he likes it. In fact, Mark said: I even think that when I get back to the States, I’m going to use my phone a little less. He added: I have been forced to “wonder without Googling”, and while it was a little weird at first, I almost think I like that better.



Episode 8 of the Jamie Grace show is now available online. You can either download it through a podcast app or get it straight from iTunes.

WEIRD & WACKY

|Squatters evicted: 40,000 bees removed from NYC home  |

|NEW YORK (AP) — It wasn't a monster making a ruckus under the floor of a New York City bedroom. But it was still a bit scary. An expert called to find the |

|source of a loud, buzzing noise found about 40,000 bees in a Queens home. Retired NYPD Detective Anthony Planakis, known as Tony Bees, was... |

|Disney World tells riders to stop using selfie sticks  |

|ORLANDO, Fla. (AP) — Disney World is looking to crack down on guests who use selfie sticks on rides at the park. HASH(0x1439e00) Disney policy forbids |

|visitors from using the sticks, which can be used to extend cameras out up to 3 feet. One ride, Thunder Mountain, has had a number of... |

|Professor marks 100th birthday at Brooklyn Law School  |

|NEW YORK (AP) — When Brooklyn Law School professors and alumni refer to an "institution," they might very well be talking about Professor Joseph Crea. He's |

|taught generations of students over more than six decades, instilling legal precepts along with some pithy tenets of his own, such as... |

|Police: Burglar breaks into house, falls asleep on couch  |

|SARASOTA, Fla. (AP) — Police in Sarasota, Florida, have arrested a man they say broke into a home, then fell asleep on the couch. HASH(0x139f540) Police say|

|the resident woke up and found Bontrager sleeping on her living room couch. When she asked Bontrager what he was doing in her house, he... |

|Scared bear spends week in central Louisiana neighborhood    photo |

|MARKSVILLE, La. (AP) — A young black bear has been a backyard spectacle in a central Louisiana neighborhood where he has spent the past week up one tree or |

|another as he searches for a new home. The bear is among three to five that have wandered into populated parts of Louisiana in the past... |

|Photos from lost camera headed to Nebraska woman  |

|LINCOLN, Neb. (AP) — A Nebraska woman said she's excited to see snapshots from a camera recently found near a creek in Montana's Glacier National Park. |

|Montana photographer and editor Chris Peterson was looking to photograph some ducks last month when he noticed the camera lying in gravel... |

|Big rig carrying sour cream overturns on Ore. highway  |

|OAKRIDGE, Ore. (AP) — When a tractor-trailer rig loaded with 80,000 pounds of dairy products overturned on an Oregon highway southeast of Eugene, the main |

|problem did not seem to be spilled milk but sour cream — lots and lots of sour cream. The Register-Guard of Eugene reports... |

|New Haven, Connecticut, police looking for burglar named Bob  |

|NEW HAVEN, Conn. (AP) — Connecticut police say they're looking for a burglar who goes by the name Bob. Police say a woman reported a break-in at about 2:30 |

|a.m. Monday at her home in New Haven. The woman told police she asked who was in her hallway and the man replied "Bob" before fleeing out... |

|2 sisters adopted separately meet in NYC writing class  |

|NEW YORK (AP) — Two women who took a writing class at Columbia University found that their own stories were better than fiction. They were sisters born to |

|the same teenage mother in the early 1980s and adopted by different families. HASH(0x14198f0) Valverde grew up in New Jersey while Olson... |

|Male cat nurtures kittens abandoned in southeast Alaska    photo |

|ANCHORAGE, Alaska (AP) — Six abandoned kittens named after the kids in "The Brady Bunch" TV series are getting a nurturing boost from an unlikely source — a|

|male cat with a slight neurological disorder. The 3-week-old kittens — named Jan, Marcia, Cindy, Greg, Peter and Bobby... |

|'Sting like a butterfly': Holyfield jabs Romney for charity    photo |

|SALT LAKE CITY (AP) — Former Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney and five-time heavyweight boxing champion Evander Holyfield squared off in the |

|ring at a charity fight night event in Salt Lake City. Romney, 68, and Holyfield, 52, sparred, if you could call it that, for just two... |

HEALTH & FITNESS

|Doctor group seeks to clear confusion in cancer screening    photo |

|WASHINGTON (AP) — Mammograms at 40 or 50? Every year or every other year? What's the best colon check? Screening for cancer has gotten more complicated in |

|recent years with evolving guidelines that sometimes conflict. Now a doctors' group aims to ease some confusion — and encourage more... |

|INSIDE WASHINGTON: Health law tax passed along to states    photo |

|There's more than a touch of absurdity in the way an industry fee in President Barack Obama's health care law is being passed along to state taxpayers. As |

|Alice in Wonderland might say, a curious tax just got curiouser. The burden to states could mount to $13 billion in less than a decade. The... |

|Suicides rare in young children; rate edged up in black boys  |

|CHICAGO (AP) — Suicides by young children are rare and the low rate has held mostly stable except for a troubling increase among black boys, two decades of |

|U.S. data show. From 1993 through 2012, there were 657 suicides among children aged 5 through 11. Most were 10 or 11. In the last decade,... |

|Dog food company recalls product over salmonella fears  |

|RANCHO SANTA MARGARITA, Calif. (AP) — A specialty dog food company is voluntarily recalling a frozen product distributed in four states over fears of |

|possible salmonella contamination. The Food & Drug Administration said last week that California-based OC Raw Dog has recalled its Turkey &... |

|Bird flu could cost nearly $1 billion in Minnesota and Iowa    photo |

|DES MOINES, Iowa (AP) — Bird flu could cost nearly $1 billion in the economies of the two states hardest hit, Minnesota and Iowa, agricultural economists |

|said Monday, and the virus is still spreading. Iowa, the nation's leading egg producer, has lost about 20 million chickens that lay eggs... |

|States help get heroin antidote into hands of regular folks    photo |

|BUFFALO, N.Y. (AP) — At the front of a classroom, health worker Cheryll Moore demonstrates "the nod" — a jerk of the head forward and then quickly back — a |

|telltale sign of heroin use, though not necessarily of an overdose. "In that scenario, they can go either way," she said. "I... |

|Morocco king eases restrictions on abortion for incest, rape  |

|RABAT, Morocco (AP) — Moroccan King Mohammed VI has ordered that laws restricting abortion be loosened, allowing it in the case of rape, incest, danger to |

|the mother's health or fetal malformation. Debate erupted in this North African kingdom earlier this year over reforming the penal code,... |

|Nigeria: 28 kids killed by lead poisoning from gold mining    photo |

|LAGOS, Nigeria (AP) — Twenty-eight children have died from lead poisoning from illegal gold mining in a remote west-central village, Nigerian health |

|officials said, while doctors still are treating thousands from an earlier outbreak. Dozens more children are sick in the Rafi area of Niger... |

|US court halts contentious law on contact lens price-fixing  |

|SALT LAKE CITY (AP) — A federal appeals court has halted a new Utah law banning price-fixing for contact lenses that could have wide-ranging implications |

|for the industry amid a fight between manufacturers and discount retailers. Lens maker Alcon Laboratories cheered the order Thursday. Along... |

|A food poisoning report with good news: Fewer E. coli cases    photo |

|NEW YORK (AP) — Fewer Americans are getting sick from a nasty germ sometimes found in undercooked hamburgers, the government reported Thursday. The latest |

|report card on food poisoning shows illnesses from a dangerous form of E. coli bacteria have fallen 20 percent in the last few years. That... |

|Cardiologists, veterinarian work together to fix cat's heart  |

|SACRAMENTO, Calif. (AP) — A California cat named Vanilla Bean with a congenital heart defect got a rare chance at another life. A team of doctors who |

|usually treat humans came together with a veterinarian to operate on the 1-year-old Burmese cat. Blood was pooling in Vanilla Bean's heart,... |

NEWS KICKERS

(None on the weekends)

NEW NEWS KICKERS…

Barack Obama now has his own Twitter account @POTUS.  *** I’ve already blocked him.  

President Obama is finally on Twitter as "@POTUS." His first tweet read: "Hello, Twitter! It's Barack. Really! Six years in, they're finally giving me my own account.”  *** Finally allowed an account?  Really, Barry?  Then how do you explain the twitter account @BarackObama?  

Barack Obama announced this week that after six years he finally has a Twitter account.  *** For a guy who loves speechifiying, how will he possibly be able to keep it down to 140 characters?

Barack Obama has a Twitter account now.  *** Unfortunately, we still won’t see many posts from him because it doesn’t work with a teleprompter.  

Former Texas Governor Rick Perry will reportedly announce he's a candidate for president on June 4th in Dallas.  *** He says there are three major reasons he is running for President – unfortunately, he can only remember two of them.  

Firefighters in Boise, Idaho, responding to a house fire thought they heard the screams of people inside. The voices were screaming, "Help! Fire!" But when firefighters investigated they found parrots that had been trained to cry for help. There was actually nobody in the house. Crews removed the birds and gave them oxygen.  *** Whatever happened to “Polly wanna cracker”, or “I’m a pretty bird”?  Who trains their birds to say “Help, Fire”? 

NEWS KICKER EVERGREENS…

According to a study by The Daily Mail, even a small amount of alcohol can make other people seem more attractive.  ***MARLAR: You can find this report in the website’s Stuff We Already Knew section. 

Here’s your latest global warming scare – CBS News is reporting that sea levels will be up by four feet by the year 2214.  ***MARLAR: Far, far away so nobody will be embarrassed or even remember this prediction when it turns out to be false.

While modern cars are getting lighter, drivers are getting heavier -- and America's fuel economy may be feeling the weight. The Allstate Blog says that obese Americans are wasting more than 1 billion gallons of fuel per year. The Department of Energy says an extra 100 pounds lowers a vehicle's mpg capacity by up to 2 percent. Automakers are using less steel and lighter plastics to reach higher fuel standards, but more than a third of adults are obese and that number is expected to increase.  ***MARLAR: What's worse, is when you pull into the drive-in, order a rack of ribs, and it tips your car over.

Sometimes you just have to take a vacation from the news. A new study confirms what we've all known -- bad news stresses us out. It's worse for women though. Reading depressing news effects both men and women, but women hold on to the stress much longer than guys. On the other hand, men probably shake off the stress by forgetting the stories faster. Women tend to remember the details to bad news far longer than men.  ***MARLAR: Of course the women remember the bad things longer – how else can they throw it back in our faces during an argument several years later?  "Oh yeah, well you didn't come home until 3am that one night in October of 2008!"

WONDER WOMAN

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD TODAY’S EPISODE… “Wheels on Luggage”

DAILY COMEDY CLIP

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD TODAY’S EPISODE... Chonda Pierce, “Asking For Directions”

AS THE JUNGLE TURNS – WEEKDAY VERSION

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD WEDNESDAY’S EPISODE

OPEN: And now, , (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you As the Jungle Turns! When last we left the jungle, Millard had tried everything he could think of to beat Steve Mozart. Composing music, building a sandcastle, a bridge, a boat… and nothing worked. Steve Mozart kept beating Millard to the punch, doing things faster and better. But Millard hasn’t given up yet!

CLOSE: Talk about adding insult to injury! Now not only can Millard not beat Steve Mozart at anything, but now Steve Mozart had to be called in to save Millard’s life? How will Millard ever be able to deal with this? Tune in next time for more of our story, As the Jungle Turns!

AS THE JUNGLE TURNS – SATURDAY/SUNDAY VERSION

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE EPISODE FOR THE WEEKEND OF MAY 23/24, 2015

OPEN: And now, , (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you As the Jungle Turns! Last time, all of the jungle animals were suffering from having so much to do in their daily schedules. So much, in fact, that they even stopped sleeping just to get everything done! Planners, DayTimers, lists, appointments, it was getting so bad they didn’t have time for anything else!

CLOSE: Sounds like the animals, in their rush to get things done, don’t even have time now for common courtesy and niceness! Tune in again next time for more of As the Jungle Turns!

***You may simulcast “As the Jungle Turns” on the Internet stream of your live broadcast only. Any other Internet use of As the Jungle Turns in whole or part including podcasting of your live broadcast is a violation of copyright law. Thank you for your cooperation on this vitally important issue. If you have any questions, please e-mail us.

MOMENT OF DUH

An inDUHvidual tries to swim to the store instead of walking!

A 35-year-old man was rescued from the sea off the coast of Norway after he decided to take a shortcut to the store. The man decided that a one-mile swim along the coast would be faster than walking to the center of town, so he tied his shoes around his neck and, gripping his credit card in his teeth, jumped in. Witnesses called police after he'd been swimming for two hours and still hadn't reached his destination.

TOP TEN

TOP TEN REASONS CHURCHES DON’T ASK CLOWN MINISTRIES TO RETURN

10.They force people to smile during the 8 am service.

9. It's hard to say with dignity, "The sermon today will be given by Brother Umpa-Doody."

8. Whoopee cushions inevitably appear under the pew cushions.

7. Sermons take a lot longer when they are in pantomime.

6. Clowns wearing blue curly wigs might be confused with elderly women.

5. Many denominations do not recognize seltzer water baptism.

4. Dribble glasses might be used during the communion service.

3. They have to pay janitors extra to get silly string off the ceiling.

2. The junior highers pop their balloons during closing prayer.

1. They realize they have enough clowns working there already.

THE FILES OF LAW & DISORDER

A cell phone captures a purse-snatcher!

FILE #1: Larry Darnell of Hartford Connecticut fancies himself as a smart criminal. He snatched a woman's purse and started to make his way to a nearby store to use the stolen credit cards when the cell phone in the purse rang. It was the cops, hoping that the criminal mastermind would answer. But, like I said, Larry thinks he's a pretty intelligent criminal. So when that cell phone rang, he was too smart to answer it. What he did was grab the phone and try to turn it off. The problem was that Larry really wasn't as smart as he thought he was. He wasn't even smart enough to turn the phone off. Instead of hitting the "Off" button, he hit the "Answer" button. Satisfied that the phone had stopped ringing, he threw it back into the purse, which he was still carrying around. The cops could hear everything that was going on and, using the background music to help identify which store he was in, arrested him before he completed his shopping.

FILE #2: In Arlington, Washington, 40-year-old state social worker Sandra Dee Martinez has taken the fake calling in sick call to a new level. After announcing she had malignant brain tumors, she received $21,000 in paid leave, lots of time off from work, and extra sick days generously donated by co-workers pulling for her in her fight against a terrifying disease. Too bad she really didn't have cancer and actually forged letters from phony doctors. She's now being charged with first-degree theft. Arlington Police Chief John Gray said, "She was fabricating a tragedy so she wouldn't have to go to work. She preyed on the generosity of her employer and co-workers." Authorities were alerted to the scheme after a neighbor came over to use Sandra's computer and found a forged letter left on her printer.

FILE #3: Sacramento's Ron Prasad was one slick criminal. Police say Ron had a habit of stealing cars and then stripping their parts for fun and profit. Unfortunately, the well oiled machine that was Ron's used auto parts business is no more. After police found his latest stolen vehicle in an alley, they followed the trail of oil to his driveway and discovered his cache of stolen parts. Despite this, Ron told police officers: "I don't steal cars."

STRANGE LAW: You may not catch a fish in Pennsylvania using any body part except the mouth.

THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON DRUGS

The Houston, Texas, Chronicle reports that prospective juror Cornelia Turner Mayo was in a jury pool that had been narrowed down to 20 when the court took a break. Police say they caught her outside the courthouse, smoking pot.

Ironically, she was up for a jury spot in a marijuana possession trial. The judge said, "I've had prospective jurors get lost before, but it never occurred to me that they might be getting ready for a marijuana trial by, allegedly, smoking marijuana."  ***MARLAR: Then again, they did promise the defendant a jury of his peers!

PHONER PHUN

We complain every morning about how tired we are, and how we only got five hours of sleep, maybe six... but I know we can’t be the champions of least sleep. Who gets the least amount of sleep each night? Who gets the most?

BIBLE BRAIN BUSTER!

QUESTION: In what book of the Bible would you read about Shadrach, Meshach and Abed-nego?

ANSWER: Daniel

QUESTION IMPOSSIBLE

QUESTION: What record album was the first ever to be taken directly from a films musical soundtrack? 

ANSWER; Walt Disney's "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs", in 1937

TRUE OR FALSE

Pay attention! If our next player doesn’t answer all ten T/F questions correctly we start all over from question #1! First person to answer question #10 correctly is our winner!

1. Napoleon Bonaparte was terrified of cats. (True)

2. The novel "Gadsby" does not contain the letter "E." (True)

3. The can opener was invented two weeks after the can itself. (False, 50 years)

4. The youngest ever Pope was only 10 years old. (False, he was 11)

5. Fingernails grow faster than toenails. (True)

6. Celine Dion is one of fourteen children. (True)

7. The Sun Bowl is played in Austin, TX. (False, El Paso, TX)

8. There are 63 zeros in a vigintillion. (True)

9. The first manually controlled, patented traffic light was installed in 1914 in Cleveland, Ohio. (True)

10. NASCAR was formed in 1950. (False, 1948)

TABLOID MATCH GAME

You have to match the blank in the tabloid headline with the word or phrase that has been removed!

OBAMA CREATES NATIONAL __________ (RELIGION)

President Obama, by Executive Order, has established a national religion.

By decree, President Obama created a new religion that all Americans are automatically part of.  The new religion is called – Obamism.

“Obamism is the belief that Barack Obama is the messiah and that he has come to America to save its citizens and heal the planet,” said a source close to The White House.

The other night, Jamie Foxx let the cat out of the bag, when he declared President Obama the “messiah, our Lord savior.”

A White House spokesperson said that she believes the Congress will sign a bill that approves the national religion.  ”Some in Congress are skeptical and afraid of trampling on the First Amendment, but once they read the Book of Barack and sign the bill, they will see the light,” said a leading Congressional Democrat.

“Once everyone sees what it is the religion, they will learn to accept it and even love it,” said Nancy Pelosi, the leader of Congressional Democrats.

THE WAY TOO EARLY IN THE MORNING TO UNDERSTAND THE PUNCHLINE EVEN AFTER TWO CUPS OF COFFEE JOKE OF THE DAY 

JOKE #1

An old man lived alone in Ireland. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, who would have helped him, was in Long Kesh Prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his predicament.

Shortly, he received this reply, "For HEAVEN'S SAKE Dad, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the GUNS!"

At 4 A.M. the next morning, a dozen British soldiers showed up and dug up the entire garden, without finding any guns.

Confused, the old man wrote another note to his son telling him what happened, and asking him what to do next. His son's reply was: "Now plant your potatoes, Dad; it's the best I could do at this time."

JOKE #2

Two friends, one an Optimist and the other a Pessimist, could never quite agree on any topic of discussion. One day the Optimist decided he had found a good way to pull his friend out of his continual Pessimistic thinking.  The Optimist owned a huntin' dog that could walk on water. His plan? Take the Pessimist and the dog out duck hunting in a boat.  They got out into the middle of the lake, and the Optimist brought down a duck. The dog immediately walked out across the water, retrieved the duck, and walked back to the boat.   The Optimist looked at his Pessimistic friend and said, "What do you think about that?"

The Pessimist replied, "That dog obviously doesn’t know how to swim.”

JOKE #3

There was once a man and woman who had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything.

They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about. For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover.

In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife's bedside. She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money totaling $25,000. He asked her about the contents. "When we were to be married," she said, "my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue.

She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll." The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears.

Only two precious dolls were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with happiness.

"Honey," he said, "that explains the dolls, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?"

"Oh," she said, "that's the money I made from selling the dolls."

USELESS FACTS

Doctors in India removed a toothbrush from a man's stomach a week after he accidentally swallowed it. The man says he swallowed it while brushing his teeth in front of the TV. ***MARLAR: Yeah, TWO AND A HALF MEN leaves a bad taste in my mouth too.

A survey by Nationwide Mutual Insurance found that 81% of Americans do something else while driving, including talking on a phone, texting, checking e-mail, eating, watching TV, doing their hair, applying makeup and shaving.  ***MARLAR: I was reading this survey and was so astonished I had to pull over and finish the article!

FEATURED FUNNIES

FIRST DATE

A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about.  He asks his father for advice.

The father replies: "My son, there are three subjects that always work. These are food, family, and philosophy."

The boy picks up his date and they go to a soda fountain.  Ice cream sodas in front of them, they stare at each other for a long time, as the boy's nervousness builds.

He remembers his father's advice, and chooses the first topic. He asks the girl: "Do you like spinach?"

She says "No," and the silence returns.

After a few more uncomfortable minutes, the boy thinks of his father's suggestion and turns to the second item on the list.  He asks, "Do you have a brother?"

Again, the girl says "No" and there is silence once again.

The boy then plays his last card.  He thinks of his father's advice and asks the girl the following question: "If you had a brother, would he like spinach?"

IT MUST BE TRUE BECAUSE I HEARD IT ON THE RADIO!

DRIVE-THRU

We all know that using our cell phones while driving is a bad thing... but so is eating while driving - as one man found out recently!

I heard recently that a great number of accidents occur each year because of people eating while driving... and this story takes it one step past that. John Mathis of Florida was eating a hamburger while driving. Suddenly, a big bite got lodged in his throat and he began to choke. As he lost control of his car, he crashed head into a power pole -- the force of which sent the meat shooting from his mouth thereby saving his life.

INSPIRATIONAL INSPIRATION

THE ANT AND THE CONTACT LENS

Brenda was a young woman who was invited to go rock climbing. Although she was very scared, she went with her group to a tremendous granite cliff. In spite of her fear, she put on the gear, took a hold on the rope, and started up the face of that rock. Well, she got to a ledge where she could take a breather. As she was hanging on there, the safety rope snapped against Brenda's eye and knocked out her contact lens. Well, here she is, on a rock ledge, with hundreds of feet below her and hundreds of feet above her. Of course, she looked and looked and looked, hoping it had landed on the ledge, but it just wasn't there. Here she was, far from home, her sight now blurry. She was desperate and began to get upset, so she prayed to the Lord to help her to find it. When she got to the top, a friend examined her eye and her clothing for the lens, but there was no contact lens to be found. She sat down, despondent, with the rest of the party, waiting for the rest of them to make it up the face of the cliff. She looked out across range after range of mountains, thinking of that verse that says, "The eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth." She thought, "Lord, You can see all these mountains. You know every stone and leaf, and You know exactly where my contact lens is. Please help me." Finally, they walked down the trail to the bottom. At the bottom there was a new party of climbers just starting up the face of the cliff. One of them shouted out, "Hey, you guys! Anybody lose a contact lens?" Well, that would be startling enough, but you know why the climber saw it? An ant was moving slowly across the face of the rock, carrying it on it's back. Brenda told me that her father is a cartoonist. When she told him the incredible story of the ant, the prayer, and the contact lens, he drew a picture of an ant lugging that contact lens with the words, "Lord, I don't know why You want me to carry this thing. I can't eat it, and it's awfully heavy. But if this is what You want me to do, I'll carry it for You." I think it would probably do some of us good to occasionally say, "God, I don't know why you want me to carry this load. I can see no good in it and it's awfully heavy. But, if you want me to carry it, I will." God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.

DRIVE TIME DEVOTIONAL

HEADLINE EVENT

Read: John 13:33-14:3

Behold, He is coming with clouds, and every eye will see Him. —Revelation 1:7

Did you know that the largest type used by most newspapers for headlines of astounding events has been called "second coming" type? These heavy, black letters are reserved for only the most amazing front-page news stories. This dramatic type has been used to announce the beginning and end of wars, moon landings, presidential election winners, natural disasters, and other significant events.

One day mankind will witness the great event for which the "second coming" type was named—the return of Jesus Christ. And what a day that will be! The One who ascended to heaven long ago will return to this earth. When our Lord comes back, it will be such a phenomenal occurrence that it will command worldwide attention.

The day Jesus told His disciples that He would be leaving them, Peter was filled with questions (John 13:36-37). Jesus didn't explain when He would return, but He reassured His disciples that He was going to prepare a place for them and one day "come again" (14:2-3).

When the Savior comes back, His return will command the attention of all earth's inhabitants. It will be a headline event! —Dave Egner

When Christ the Lord returns to reign,

The world will know of that event,

For everyone shall see His face

And know the reason He was sent. —Hess

Even so, come, Lord Jesus! —Revelation 22:20

LEFTOVERS

THINK BEFORE YOU ANSWER

You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night. You pass by a bus stop, and you see three people waiting for the bus:

1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.

2. An old friend who once saved your life.

3. The perfect man (or) woman you have been dreaming about.

Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car? Think about it for a second. Would you pick up the dying old lady, the friend who once saved your life, or the perfect man/woman you’ve been dreaming about?

Think carefully – this question was once used by some companies as part of the job-interview process. It’s a moral/ethical dilemma that gives people insight to the kind of person you might be.

You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first, or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to pay him back. However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate again.

When given this test one candidate was hired (out of 200 applicants) who gave the following answer: “I would give the car keys to my old friend, and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the woman of my dreams.”

LIFE... LIVE IT

GET SOME SLEEP

says the first step to kicking insomnia is to regain control over your sleep, which means making a few changes to your lifestyle and environment. offers these tips for doing just that:

o Prepare for sleep by getting your mind into "sleep mode."

o Relax your body. This could mean relaxation, or just taking a warm bath.

o Unwind mentally by reading or listening to music.

o Bedtime is not problem-solving time. So that you don't start worrying the second your head hits the pillow, make a list of your problems with "next steps" you'll act on the following day.

o Eat a snack that is high in carbohydrates, such as toast or a bagel. Avoid heavy, spicy, or high-sugar foods.

o Follow the same schedule every night.

o Go to bed and get up at the same time every day--even on weekends. This is a little trick you can play on your mind and body so both become conditioned to expect sleep at a regular time. Make your bedroom sleep-friendly.

o Get rid of the noise. That means turn off radios, televisions, and stereos in the bedroom and all other rooms in your house. Can't control the noise? Get earplugs.

o Reduce light. Light not only affects your eyes, it also affects the way your brain produces hormones that regulate your sleep cycle. Even a little bit of light can disrupt your sleep. If you can't control the light, wear a sleep mask.

o Adjust the room temperature. If you're too warm or too cold, you won't sleep soundly. Fiddle with the thermostat, change your pajamas, adjust the bedding, and open or close windows as needed.

o Move the clock. If you can't see the time, it won't make you as anxious if you can't sleep.

o Help the dog or cat find a new place to sleep other than at the end of your bed.

o Does your partner snore or toss and turn--and awaken you in the process? Consider getting a larger bed or even using separate beds – even separate bedrooms if need-be.

o Whatever you do, don't do these things as they'll keep you awake or disturb your sleep: Exercise within three hours of bedtime, smoke, drink alcohol or caffeinated beverages before bedtime.

o One little trick that might help: If you can't fall asleep, try warming your feet.

JUST FOR FUN

FROM: Radio Station Human Resources Department

SUBJECT: Restroom Use Policy

In the past, station employees were permitted to make trips to the restroom under informal guidelines. Effective immediately, a Restroom Trip Policy will be established to provide a more consistent method of accounting for each employee's restroom time and ensuring equal treatment of all employees.

Under the policy a "Restroom Trip Bank" will be established for each station employee. The first day of each month, employees will be given twenty Restroom Trip Credits. These credits may be accumulated.

Within four to six weeks, the entrance doors to all restrooms are being equipped with personal identification stations and computer- linked voice print recognition devices. Before the end of the month each employee must provide two copies of voice prints (one normal and one under stress) to the Radio Station Human Resources Department. The voice print recognition station will be operational but not restrictive during the entire month. Station employees should acquaint themselves with the stations during that period.

If the employee's Restroom Trip Bank balance reaches zero, the doors to the restrooms will not unlock for that employee's voice until the first of the next month. In addition, all restroom stalls are being equipped with timed paper roll retractors. If the stall is occupied for more than three minutes, an alarm will sound. Thirty-seconds after the alarm sounds, the roll of paper will retract into the wall, the toilet will flush, and the stall door will open. If the stall remains occupied, your picture will be taken.

The picture will then be posted on the bulletin board located in the Radio Station Employee Relations Office. Anyone's picture showing up three times will immediately be terminated. If you have any questions about this policy, please ask your supervisor. They have all received advanced instructions.

FUN LIST

TOO MUCH OF THE INTERNET

You know you've been on-line too long when:

• You think an obituary says a funeral will be followed by the "Internet" in a cemetery.

• Someone says she put on net stockings, and you wonder if they're made out of World Wide Web.

• You ask a friend, "What's that big shiny thing?" He says "It's the sun."

• You think Webster's Dictionary is a directory of WEB sites.

• You think rec room is a new newsgroup.

• You see a mosaic display at the art gallery and wonder how to access it without a mouse.

• Someone slips a disk, and you offer to format them another one.

• You think "intelligent" means a refined computer user.

THE WAY WE WORK

UPDATED EVERY WEDNESDAY (using Monday’s post). The Way WE Work is written by Mark Elfstrand from in Chicago. Posted as new entries become available.

Aretha Delivered the Message

Today’s blog is a sequel to my blog of two weeks ago. I find that traditional labels of “blue collar” and “white collar” in the workplace often create misperceptions. The current season of the popular television show Survivor helps prove this point. (See my earlier blog for details.)

In any working environment, relationship success is built on a true sense of respect. Blue collar types who resent management for perks or privileged conditions have a respect issue. White collars who see their blue collar counterparts as less educated, talented, or essential to an operation have a respect problem. When authentic respect is shown and rewarded, true teamwork is built and motivation moves up. That is a seminar in itself.

Few leaders have found a more effective way to overcome this than did Wayne Alderson. His story was widely known when I arrived in Pittsburgh in the fall of 1991. Through the middle of the twentieth century, Pittsburgh was truly a Steel City, as a significant majority of jobs in the region were all connected in some way to the manufacturing of steel.

The separation of blue collar and white collar came to heads in the labor/management fights over renewed contracts. Those battles were as intense as any on the Steeler football field. Bitterness often ruled. Shutting down a mill was costly to all parties.

And then comes Wayne Alderson and the Pittron Steel story. As he described it, “Working conditions were bad, productivity was at an all time low and employee morale was very bad.” Worse yet, the company was losing millions.

Wayne understood blue collar. He was a coal miner's son. But now his white collar corporate executive role could easily put him at odds. Wayne applied what became known as Theory R Leadership principles, later to be incorporated into his Value of the Person training.

Theory R and Value of the Person workshops teach how to build relationships. Out of healthy relationships comes trust. To make the process work, it takes respect. Aretha Franklin to the rescue.

Wayne Alderson became a peacemaker. His Christian faith was the underpinning to treating others the way he would want to be treated. Lives were changed. Profits returned. He continued this legacy of work until his passing in 2013. Dr. R.C. Sproul wrote this story years ago in a book titled, Stronger than Steel.

Within all true achievers, there is a tendency to lose sight of the value of certain team members. Success has a spoil factor. The achiever wants the recognition but often fails to praise the team that made it possible.

One of the many ways that Jesus of Nazareth was so remarkable in his day, was his treatment of people. His disciples considered children an annoyance. Jesus saw them as prized creations willing to accept truth by faith.

In Jesus’s time, women were often considered second class. Jesus showed them respect. Lepers were to be avoided. Jesus reached out and touched them. Sinners were condemned and ridiculed. Jesus gave them time and attention.

When challenged on his associations with those of the “lesser class,” Jesus had this interesting exchange: “But when some of the Jewish religious leaders saw him eating with these men of ill repute, they said to his disciples, ‘How can he stand it, to eat with such scum?’ When Jesus heard what they were saying, he told them, ‘Sick people need the doctor, not healthy ones! I haven’t come to tell good people to repent, but the bad ones.’” (Mark 2:16-17 / TLB)

I have many friends today who are in the professional “peacemaking” business. Their work transcends the typical boundaries that keep people apart. They move into cultures and among political leaders who are often at odds. Sometimes bitter enemies. And these friends do this because of Jesus.

There is no professional religious “collar” needed to embrace the value of a person. Respect must be shown to all collars and all stripes if one hopes for a positive working relationship.

So one more time, Aretha, sing it loud and proud: R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

(For more information, read here )

MORE SHOW PREP STUFF...

EIGHT WAYS TO GET YOUR KIDS TO TALK TO YOU (by Dr. Drew’s Lifechangers)

• Get Active: Experts agree kids will chat more with you while you're busy doing a physical activity together. Even if you have a demanding work schedule, a mini hike on the weekend or even walking into town for ice cream, can inspire meaningful conversation or simple fun.

• Family Game Night: This may seem corny for some, especially teens, but give it a go anyway. Experts say it works if you incorporate your kids' interests.

• Family Dinner: Teenagers who eat with their families at least five times a week are more likely to get better grades in school and less likely to have substance abuse problems.

• Volunteer at School: It may not be feasible to volunteer often at your children's schools, but if possible, find out all the different events and activities with parent involvement and sign up for one. Dipping into your kids' worlds at school opens up a host of things to talk about.

• Sleep Talk Therapy: Can't squeeze-in quality time during the day? Try it at night!  Yep – while your child is sleeping, talk to them softly!  It might help them open up to you during waking hours!

• Limiting 'Kids' Exit Strategies': Zone-out toys. For some it's video games, for others it's online chats; Facebook, texting, watching TV or other solitary activities that keep kids away, silent and in their own worlds. Put limits on these and offer up fun activities to do together when possible. Again, base these activities on their interests!

• A Family Pet: If you have the space and finances, a family pet, like a dog that needs to be walked every day, is a great way to bring unconditional love, silliness (and activity) into the family.

• Stay Present and Patient: It's hard to connect to a parent who has his laptop on his knees at all times, so try to leave your work behind when you're at home and hanging out with your family.

TOTALLY OUTRAGEOUS!

(Mondays Only)

OTHER STUFF I WANT TO CRAM INTO TODAY’S PREP

Posted as stories become available. No stories posted on the weekends – unless I feel like it.

An Oregon (Keizer) family with a tradition of making epic Halloween costumes for their children who are bound to wheelchairs is launching a nonprofit to build costumes for other kids. It’s called Magic Wheelchair. Ryan and Lana Weimer have been making costumes encompassing wheelchairs for their own sons, ages 9 and 3, who have a form of muscular dystrophy. Now, the Weimers are gearing up to build five additional Halloween costumes this year, for other wheelchair-bound children. There’s more info at .

If you have kids listening who still watch Sesame Street you'll want to cover their ears. It was recently announced that Big Bird was almost a passenger on the doomed Challenger space shuttle in 1986. Caroll Spinney, who has played the Sesame Street character for 46 years, has a new documentary—I Am Big Bird—and he shared the tidbit while discussing the film with the Today show. Spinney say NASA thought that if Big Bird went into space, more kids would be interested in the space program. Although he had agreed to go up in the Challenger, ultimately, NASA decided Spinney "would not fit in the spacecraft" while wearing the bulky costume so plans for the flight were dropped. Spinney says he was replaced on the flight with teacher Christa McAuliffe.



High heels hurt. If you’ve worn them then you probably know this already. But are high heels also bad for you? According to Time Magazine, A 2014 survey from the American Podiatric Medical Association—composed of the nation’s top foot and lower-leg docs—found heels were far and away the most common cause of foot pain among women. The studies found that high heels can cause short term problems with your feet but the most significant risks of your high-heel habit may begin higher up your leg. According to research, lots of time spent walking in heels actually changes the structure of the muscles and tendons in your calves—and not for the better.



AND I LEAVE YOU WITH THIS THOUGHT

I want you to know I think of this show as spending quality time with friends. And I think of my paycheck as spending quality money on myself.

THE TICKET Movie Reviews with MARIE ASNER

Marie Asner has been reviewing films for over 30 years. Her outlets include radio, print and Internet. For more in-depth movie reviews of the following films, visit . Ratings from 1 (Low) to 5 (High).

  

MAY 15, 2015…

 

Mad Max: Fury Road---Remember the intensity of the chases in the original “Mad Max” films? I think I remolded the arm rest in the theater during "The Road Warrior." Here they come again (move over “Furious 7”) only on the desert of a decimated landscape. Max (Tom Hardy) is trying to help a fighting Furiosa (Charlize Theron) take women to safety across the desert while the bad guys are chasing after them, chains and all. It is a desperate chase and a desperate life. You want to brush the grit from your hands. Hugh Keays-Bryne is Importan Joe, the villain. “Mad Max: Fury Road” is rated R. Rating of 3 for fans of the films. Most of the stunts are supposed to be real.

 

Pitch Perfect 2---The Bellas want to win and this time it is an international music competition. Now, three years later and Fat Amy (Rebel Wilson) has done something to disgrace the group. With newcomer Hailee Steinfeld in the group, Anna Kendrick, Brittany Snow and others try to work their way to the top again. The first film was a sleeper hit. ”Pitch Perfect 2"  is rated PG 13. Rating of 2 for   singing fans

 

Far From The Madding Crowd (opening in select cities)---The latest adaptation of the Thomas Hardy novel about the landowner, Bathsheba (Carey Mulligan) and her three suitors, a wealthy farmer (Michael Sheen), a military man (Tom Sturridge) and a shepherd (Matthias Schoenert.) Decisions…decisions and set against the beautiful moors.  “Far From The Madding Crowd” is rated PG 13. Rating of 2 for fans of the novel.

 

Animals---(opening in select cities) This is a film about drug addiction and how it can creep upon you and destroy your life, relationships and anyone around it. Stars David Dastmalchian, Kim Shaw and John Heard. "Animals" is rated R. No rating.

 

MAY 22, 2015…

 

Poltergeist is a remake of the classic horror film about haunting a family. Stars Sam Rockwell.

 

Tomorrowland is a science fiction fantasy film starring George Clooney and Britt Robertson. There is a secret Utopia somewhere and how to find it?

 

Slow West is a western about trying to find people in the Old West when you are a tenderfoot. Stars Kodi Smit-McPhee and Michael Fassbender.

 

# # # # #

 

WARNING: Don't believe anything you read on the Internet or email (including stuff you read here) unless you can confirm it with another source, and/or it is consistent with what you already know to be true. The opinions in this publication are not necessarily those of Darren Marlar, Marlar House Entertainment, , or any company or organization affiliated with aforementioned. (Regardless of how stupid you may think those opinions are. So there - nyah!)

Darren Marlar credits all non-original material to the author whenever possible. All other material is original, used with permission, or author unknown. We welcome all comments, questions, and suggestions. Darren can be reached via his website at .

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