Biblical Masculinity Defined - Clover Sites



Biblical Masculinity DefinedSince 1975 traditional notions of masculinity and femininity have been under a sustained and vicious attack. This confusion has infiltrated the church. We have all been affected. Examples: Maureen Dowd, a Pulitzer Prize winner from the New York Times, titled her new book, Are Men Necessary? A new Washington Post article, entitled, “The New F-Word,” appeared on 5/31/13. Fatherhood is the new “F-word.”Last Spring I was asked to speak at a parenting conference in Vancouver BC but only if I wouldn’t use the term patriarchy. This talk is an attempt to define and apply biblical masculinity. There are two problems. First, the Bible does not define masculinity. It just assumes it. Second, the character qualities that characterize masculinity are also shared by that which is feminine, but in lesser degrees. Before we define biblical masculinity I want to start by making some preliminary comments. First, being male and being masculine are not the same thing. Gender is biologically determined. But masculinity is “learned behavior.” Some males are masculine. Some are feminine. Others are somewhere in between. In addition, Christians get their concept of masculinity from God. I have a liberal pastor friend who refers to God as “she.” Nothing could be farther from the truth. God the Father does not have male body parts, but he is hyper-masculinity. Last, masculinity is difficult to define. Here are some contemporary definitions. McKinley: “Being a real man means being responsible, dependable, humble, and strong. It means pouring yourself out for your wife and kids. It means walking closely with Christ and taking care of people in need.” Piper: “At the heart of mature masculinity is a sense of benevolent responsibility to lead, provide for, and protect women [and children] in ways appropriate to a man’s differing relationships.” Sax: “What does it mean to be a man?” The answer is: being a man means using your strength in the service of others.” Wilson: “Masculinity is the glad, sacrificial assumption of responsibility.” C.S. Lewis: At its heart and core, masculinity is the willingness to serve others by initiating.These definitions share several words in common––responsibility, serving, initiating, protecting, leading, integrity, humility, and self-sacrifice for the good of others….BILLBOARDSeven Dimensions of Masculinity Disclaimers: First, Masculinity and Macho are polar opposites. In addition, God expects the same virtues in both male and female, i.e. Gal. 5:22 fruits of the Spirit, 1 Cor. 13 love, etc. However, I would like to suggest that the way men and women express those fruits differs. Last I want to say that these dimensions are subjective. Power Point Slide: Bell Curve Male Female AggressionDo you seek Respect or approval?When the feminist issue was first making headlines, Bob Mumford, at a1976 Men’s Shepherd Conference, gave a talk on Patriarchy. His point? Biblical masculinity is more interested in cultivating the respect of others rather than their approval.Do you parent for approval or respect? Do you relate to your wife to gain her approval or respect? You can lead people who don’t like you but respect you. But you can’t lead people who like you but don’t respect you. Do you Love by Challenging or Nurturing?Fundamentally, femininity loves by nurturing, protecting, and comforting. It is a glue that holds the family together. Fundamentally, however, biblical masculinity loves by pushing, disciplining, training, and stretching. A pattern becomes a stereotype when it is usually true. Here is a good example. “Women line the nest. Men push the chicks out of the nest.” Mom nurtures the scraped knee. Dad says “don’t bleed on the rug.” Is your approach to life primarily Objective or Subjective? Men and women’s minds are biologically hard-wired to think differently. Read “Men are like waffles, women are like Spaghetti.” Men are like Waffles. They think in a waffle box. Social scientists call this differentiated thought patterns. Men can differentiate their thought life from their feelings, emotions, and bodily presence. This is a stereotype, but it is one thoroughly confirmed by the Social Sciences.Women are like Spaghetti. Spaghetti stands for multi-tasking, it stands for integration not separation. Anecdote: Judy can listen to the news and watch the ribbon running across the bottom of the screen at the same time. A woman has a hard time separating her thought-life, her logic, from the totality of her bodily experience, especially her emotions. Stephen Clark sums it up. “The male mind discriminates analyzes, separates, and refines…The feminine mind knows relatedness, has an intuitive perception of feeling, has a tendency to unite rather than separate…men tend to analyze, disassemble, classify and synthesize, whereas women prefer to resort to intuition––a quality usually yoked to such terms as ‘relatedness, unity, fusion, or empathy.” Men separate themselves from their mothers to become masculine. To become feminine women unite themselves to their mothers. Are you interested in Accomplishments or Relationships?Doug Wilson: When men gather they watch football games, or military history, or the life of a great explorer. If there are relationships they exist to accomplish the task at hand. Biblical masculinity is interested in the task, in the goal, in achievement. When women gather they watch movies about relationship, You’ve Got Mail, Sleepless in Seattle, Pride and Prejudice. They are interested in relationships for their own sake. Doug Wilson joked that the plot goes something like this. He loves her. He doesn’t love her. He loves her again. This is the pattern of “Chick Flicks.” Are you an Initiator or a Responder?God is male, and God is the ultimate initiator. C.S. Lewis focused his concept of masculinity here. That which is masculine initiates. That which is feminine responds. In this sense, God is so masculine that everything he has made is feminine by contrast, even those of us that are male. That is why the church is called the Bride of Christ. Philippians two is picture of masculinity. Do you Seek Responsibility or do you Shed Responsibility?Wilson: “Masculinity is the glad, sacrificial assumption of responsibility.” You can’t love without accepting responsibility. In this sense all Christians, male and female, seek to be responsible, but this is especially true of masculine men. They know that this is their job. They are men. They assume responsibility for wives, children, business and other social spheres. Biblical femininity knows that this is the man’s job, and she encourages him to do it. Are you more interested in Competition or Cooperation?That which is masculine emphasizes Competition. That which is feminine emphasizes Cooperation. When we say that masculinity is learned behavior, we are talking about these qualities. That which is masculine uses its strength to serve women, children, and society at large. Why Masculinity Matters?Gilder: “The differences between the sexes are the single most important fact of human society.”Sax: “A culture is defined in part by how it answers the question ‘What defines a real man?’” A Void of masculinity will be filled with “Macho” Machismo is the perversion of masculinity. It emphasizes outward appearances (muscles), sexual domination, and using strength to use people for one’s own enrichment, etc. It assumes male superiority. Men withdraw when masculinity is not honored and encouragedGilder: If a man “sees long-term employment and marriage as a woman’s world, he will tend to exploit both jobs and women as short-term projects.”Withdrawal from Courtship Glen and Marquardt: “There appears to have been a reduction in male initiative in dating on college campuses…There is a need for greater male initiative.”Withdrawal from ChurchStatistics: “The typical Sunday morning congregation is 61% female and 39% male. Over 70% of the boys who are being raised in church will abandon it during their teens and twenties. Many will never return. Withdrawal from Responsibility 48% of men between the age of 18 and 34 spend at least three hours per day playing video games.Withdrawal from MarriageMcCulley: “If you claim men are women’s chief problem, it has a way of dissuading women from marrying men…and vice versa. Therefore, it’s no surprise that feminism profoundly affected marriage rates and longevity—not to mention the definition of marriage.”Withdrawal from Education Time Magazine: “Until 1979, men made up the majority of college students. As women won increasing equality elsewhere in society, it was natural and expected that they would reach parity in college, which they did by the early 1980s. But the surprise has been that men's enrollment in higher education has declined since 1992. Males now make up just 44% of undergraduate students nationwide. And federal projections show their share shrinking to as little as 42% by 2010. This trend is among the hottest topics of debate among college-admissions officers.”Sax: “One in four white boys with college-educated parents today cannot read at a basic level of proficiency, compared with only one in sixteen white girls.”Withdrawal from Ambition Sax: “I’ve seen hundreds of families where the girls are the smart, driven ones, while their brothers are laid-back and unmotivated. The opposite pattern—with the boy being the intense, successful child while his sister is relaxed and unconcerned about her future—is rare.” … “But here’s what’s really strange, and new, about this picture: That young man isn’t bothered by his situation. His parents are. His girlfriend, if she hasn’t left him yet, is at least having second thoughts about him.”Dad’s Masculinity Defines his Children’s Sexual Identity. Dad’s Masculinity Defines his children’s’ Adult EmpathyWhen Biblical Masculinty disappears children sufferThe Fatherhood Initiative notes—“Teens from fatherless homes are: 5 times more likely to commit suicide, 32 times more likely to run away, 20 times more likely to have behavioral disorders, 14 times more likely to commit rape, 9 times more likely to drop out of high school, 10 times more likely to abuse chemical substances, 9 times more likely to end up in a state-operated institution, and 20 times more likely to end up in prison.”ConclusionWomenSingle Women: This is what you want to look for in a husband. Someone who is moving in this direction. Married Women: Encourage your husband to grow in biblical masculinity. Celebrated biblical masculinity. Don’t resist it. Honor biblical masculinity. Honor the God-given differences between you. Men Single Men: Find men that model biblical masculinity and imitate them. Married Men: Pursue biblical masculinity. Don’t listen to the siren song of our culture. ParentsDads: Model masculinity for your sons and daughters. Moms: encourage your sons towards biblical masculinity. Around the family dinner table, value and esteem these qualities. Talk about them. You will need to do that if you are going to resist secular culture. In a recent article for Time Magazine Dr. James Dobson writes: “Researchers have determined that boys are not born with an understanding of "maleness." They have to learn it, ideally from their fathers.” Fathers, Husbands, and Single Men: Grow in Masculinity by watching Jesus. “We will keep our eyes on you.” We have learned that we learn masculinity from masculine role models. Jesus was the ideal man. He modeled biblical masculinity. Therefore, Gospel centered men tend to be masculine. Jesus modeled our seven dimensions of masculinity. He sought the respect of those around him more than their affection. (Matthew 23:33) "You serpents, you brood of vipers, how are you to escape being sentenced to hell?"He loved people by challenging them. (Matthew 7:14) "14 For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few."He emphasized objective, linear thought. It wasn’t about how Jesus felt (subjective). It was always about the Truth, what was real, what was true, no matter how he felt. He set his heart and soul on accomplishing the mission for which God sent him. Relationships were always secondary to the mission“I came to cast fire on the earth, and would that it were already kindled” (Luke 12:49). “When the time came for him to be taken up, He set his face to go to Jerusalem” (Luke 9:51). (John 17:4) "4 I glorified you on earth, having accomplished the work that you gave me to do."He was an initiatorJesus came down from Heaven to earth on a rescue mission. His whole life was one great big act of INITIATION! (Phil 2:5-8). Jesus bore responsibility for our sins. Penal Substitution means that Jesus bore the responsibility for the sins of the world. He took them on his shoulders, went to the cross, and received the punishment that our sins deserve them. In summary Western Culture is at war with Biblical Masculinity. A passive stance towards this conflict will be very costly to families, our culture, and our children. The rejection of biblical masculinity is rebellion against God. He made us male and female. He loves all that is truly masculine and feminine. He wants us to honor and encourage both biblical masculinity and biblical femininity. Healthy families encourage biblical masculinity. Healthy churches encourage biblical masculinity. Healthy cultures encourage and reward biblical masculinity. I can’t think of anything more important on this Father’s Day in the year 2013. Let’s encourage biblical masculinity. ................
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