Claim - Humble Independent School District
9th Grade E.F.
8-25-10
Claim Evidence Commentary Examples
Claim
• Barbie tries to be successful so that she doesn’t fail in life.
• Ken is a determined person who wants to better the world.
Evidence
• “I don’t like the feeling of failure in school or in life.”
• “I have a dream that I am going to become a physicist and help the world become a better place because I feel I can make a difference.”
Commentary
• I see her in the future as a very situated person with a good head on her shoulders.
• Barbie tries to be successful so that she doesn’t fail in life. She says, “I don’t like the feeling of failure in school or in life.”
• If he puts his mind to it I know that he can really accomplish his dreams of changing the world.
Claim
• Barbie tries to be successful so that she doesn’t fail in life.
• J has a positive attitude about her life.
• Jerry is a strong-willed person.
• Sunny D often goes for the easier tasks, but she is very successful at it.
• Rose is a very protective person.
Evidence
• “I don’t like the feeling of failure in school or in life.”
• “Yes I value my life because there is always something special about it.”
• “I lived with my grandparents in a low-income neighborhood.”
• “My favorite subject is math because there is only one specific answer and its easier that way”
• If they die, it doesn’t only hurt them, it hurts their family too.
Commentary
• I see her in the future as a very situated person with a good head on her shoulders.
• She will be very successful in life. It will lead her to many places if she keeps that positive attitude.
• Despite the fact that Jerry came from a poor background, he managed to overcome these odds.
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