English with Mrs. Lamp



Article OneThe Best Essay She’s Ever Read…00As you read, notice how this student was able to use story-telling and appropriate humor to write a unique and interesting essay. At the same time, she made sure to be explicit about desirable qualities she has—she is open-minded, culturally aware, and passionate about justice.As you read, notice how this student was able to use story-telling and appropriate humor to write a unique and interesting essay. At the same time, she made sure to be explicit about desirable qualities she has—she is open-minded, culturally aware, and passionate about justice.After 19 years in college admissions,?college-entrance consultant Abby Siegel?is a prolific reader of essays. When she talked to Business Insider about the best admissions essay she'd ever read, we listened. Her example surprised us, even though we have also read our?fair share of stellar admissions essays.The essay question was specific to Tufts University, but the student who wrote the essay was accepted at UPenn, Georgetown, Columbia, and Brown.Here is Siegel's inside scoop on the best admission essay she has ever read:“I had a student, and this was my favorite essay ever. The essay topic was, "Why did you do it?" and it was open-ended. You could really write about anything. She wrote it without talking to me first, and it was far and away the best essay I have ever read in 19 years of doing this. It was absolutely hilarious.She wrote this essay about how she goes to France for three months as a foreign-exchange student. Some kid starts teasing her and picking on her, and she was, like, "It was annoying, but he's 15 years old. He's just a boy.” Until one day he spit apple chunks into her hair. So she was pissed. She had just washed her hair. And being an Indian woman, she made a comment about how difficult and how thick her hair is, how it's very difficult and time-consuming to wash. So he spit in her freshly washed hair, and that was not going to go over well with her. So she took a banana from the cafeteria, and she let it rot. And the next time she saw him, she smushed it up in his face. She's telling this story — I'm hysterically laughing — I was thinking, this is the nicest girl I've ever met, she's adorable. I can't believe she did that.She then went on to write about how she is very tolerant of other people. She, herself, looks different from other people. She's traveled all over the world; she's very open-minded. But the one thing she will not stand for is bullying, especially after her hair has been messed with. It was hilarious. I sent it to 20 college counselors, with her permission, and they all asked if they could send it to their students. It was perfect.The point is, students often pigeonhole themselves and write about topics they think are what colleges want to hear. Just tell a story about something. It can be as silly or serious as you want it to be.Article TwoInsightful, Honest, and Self-Aware…00The student in this article wrote about a sensitive topic—being a low-income student from a low-income area—but he does not stretch the truth or get overdramatic. If you are writing about a hardship in your life, be thoughtful, open, honest, and positive. Do not appeal to pity, and do not exaggerate your hardship. The student in this article wrote about a sensitive topic—being a low-income student from a low-income area—but he does not stretch the truth or get overdramatic. If you are writing about a hardship in your life, be thoughtful, open, honest, and positive. Do not appeal to pity, and do not exaggerate your hardship. Each year, The New York Times puts out a call for college-admission essays to the newest class of applicants. This year, they chose seven of the most poignant essays they came across about money, work, and social class, and they published them online to showcase their raw and honest power.Jon Carlo Dominguez, a senior at the all-boys St. Peter's Preparatory School in Jersey City, wrote an incredibly insightful essay that the Times showcased.Wise beyond his years, Dominguez wrote with self-awareness about the differences evident between his prep-school experience and that of his friends and peers in his low-income community. Most of the people in his North Bergen hometown go to the local public school, while he goes to a private school an hour away."On my way to the bus stop, I always run into my childhood friends as we go in different directions," he wrote. "I wonder, 'Why is my life so different from theirs?'"Dominguez doesn't purport to live in the most dangerous community, but nevertheless, he realizes that his daily life is quite different from that of his neighborhood friends. "I don't live in a dystopian town where gunshots go off every day," he wrote. "However, many of my friends just don't care about school. They use alcohol, drugs or sex to escape from their socioeconomic realities; the majority of my town is low-income and Latino."Dominguez's essay, which helped earn him a spot at Columbia University in the fall, also noted that while he has incredibly close friends from his prep school, they can be tone-deaf in their interactions with members of his own low-income community. He writes about how this realization has driven him to tutor friends in the community and encourage them to pursue college.Here’s an excerpt from his essay:"To enjoy the weekend, I go to a football game between Prep and my neighborhood. During a play, my prep friends chant, “That's alright, that’s okay, you'll be working for us someday.” Having deep bonds of friendship on both sides, I'm shocked at the thoughtlessness of my classmates. Part of me feels ostracized, but another part of me wants to fix things; I fiercely lecture them on how wrong they are about my home. With my neighborhood friends, part of me wants to ignore what the football fans had to say, but a subtle fear that they may be right grows in my heart. I am moved and start tutoring my neighborhood friends with my used test-preparation books and showing them the social skills I learned from Dale Carnegie. I also start sharing books on body language and charisma, fascinating guides to lucid dreaming, and my favorite thrillers from Stephen King. I do this simply because it's what friends do. While I see college as an opportunity, many of my neighborhood friends see it as an obstacle keeping them from a paying job. I am trying to help this handful of friends realize that studying, reading, and learning can be rewarding.” ................
................

In order to avoid copyright disputes, this page is only a partial summary.

Google Online Preview   Download