Making Small Talk - SUNY Geneseo



[pic]Making Small Talk

☼ Get ready for short conversations!

When Americans first meet one another their conversations consist of each person taking turns saying a few short sentences. In a typical conversation no one talks for very long. The most important thing to understand about small talk is that the purpose is to be polite to those around you; it is not to exchange information.

☼ Quick Greetings

Americans are quick to greet each other. As you walk to class you may pass someone you know, a typical greeting would sound like this:

You: “Hey”

Friend: “Hey, what’s up?”

You: “Not much. You?”

Friend: “Not much”

You may not even stop walking as these words pass between the two of you. These interactions may seem abrupt and rude to other cultures, but these are a polite way of acknowledging someone you know in the United States.

☼ Rely on common experiences to start conversation

The most common way to start a conversation is to talk about something both of you have experienced. Another member of your residence hall’s intramural soccer team might start a conversation by saying:

“Hey, what did you think of that goal the other team scored in the last second of yesterday’s game?”

This is why joining clubs, playing on sports teams, and attending campus events will help you make friends. The more things you do, the more you will have to talk about.

☼ When you can’t think of anything…talk about the weather!

When an American wants to show friendliness, but doesn’t have a common experience to discuss, they will often start conversations about the weather. Don’t be alarmed if several people start conversation about the weather with you during your first few weeks on campus, they are just trying to be friendly. Some common conversation starters about the weather are:

“Beautiful day, isn’t it?”

“Can you believe all the rain we’ve been having?”

“It looks like it’s going to snow”

☼ Americans like compliments!

Americans – especially American girls - like to give frequent compliments, even to people they have just met. Other cultures may find this offensive because the compliments seem superficial and without meaning, but keep in mind that Americans see these compliments as a way of being friendly. For example, one female student may say this to another female student she has just met:

“I love your dress. Can I ask where you got it?”

☼ Things NOT to talk about during small talk

Religion – Because there is such a mix of different religions in the United States, most Americans find it impolite to mention their religious views.

Politics – Opinionated debates are not seen as casual conversation in the United States. Because politics can be such a controversial topic Americans only discuss this topic with close friends.

Money – Because there is such a wide range of incomes in the United States, money is seen as a very private topic, sometimes even between close friends. Money should almost always be avoided during conversation with acquaintances.

Grades & your GPA – Competition plays a large role in American society, and as a result American students are very private about their grades. Many students may find it offensive if they were asked, “what grade did you get on that test?”, or “What’s your G.P.A?”. American students may even be reluctant about sharing notes with other students. If you are struggling with a class, you should talk to the professor about ways you can get extra help. Most professors will arrange to have a copy of another student’s notes made for you.

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