The Forever Decision By Dr. Paul G. Quinnett

SUICIDE

The Forever Decision New 3rd Edition

By Dr. Paul G. Quinnett

Dr. Quinnett is a clinical psychologist and the Director of the QPR Institute, an educational organization dedicated to preventing suicide. He has worked with suicidal people and survivors of suicide for more than 35 years. Author of seven books and an awardwinning journalist, he is also a Clinical Assistant Professor in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Science at the University of Washington School of Medicine, Seattle, Washington.

Compliments of the QPR Institute

Suicide: the Forever Decision

For those thinking about suicide and for those who know, love and counsel them.

DISCLAIMER Both author and publisher wish the reader to know that this book does not offer mental health treatment, and in no way should be considered a substitute for consultation with a professional.

The identities of the people written about in this book have been carefully disguised in accordance with professional standards of confidentiality and in keeping with their rights to privileged communication with the author.

INTRODUCTION

CHAPTER1 CHAPTER2

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Introduction ...........................................................................5

You Don't Have to Be Crazy...................................................7

An Idea That Kills ................................................................ 11

CHAPTER3 CHAPTER4 CHAPTER5 CHAPTER6 CHAPTER7 CHAPTER8

Don't I Have a Right to Die?................................................. 13

Are You Absolutely Sure?.................................................... 19

One Step Back, Please.......................................................... 25

The Bug in the Cup ............................................................. 27

Loneliness .......................................................................... 31

The Good News About Depression....................................... 39

CHAPTER9 Angry Enough to Kill Yourself? ........................................... 45

CHAPTER10 Maximum Stress ................................................................. 50

CHAPTER11 Too Hopeless to Hope.......................................................... 58

CHAPTER12 Drugs, Booze, and Fatal Mistakes ......................................... 67

CHAPTER13 They Won't Love You When You're Gone, Either ................. 72

CHAPTER14 For Those Who Have Tried ................................................. 79

CHAPTER15 What If You Don't Succeed?................................................. 83

CHAPTER16 The People You Leave Behind.............................................. 87

CHAPTER17 Time Heals ......................................................................... 92

CHAPTER18 Getting Help ........................................................................ 94

CHAPTER19 A Philosophy of Life .......................................................... 101

EPILOGUE

Epilogue ............................................................................ 105

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INTRODUCTION

Dear Reader;

I don't know who you are or why you are reading these words. I only know that you have picked up this book and, for the moment, you are reading it. It is my hope that if you need this book, you will continue to read it.

As an author, it would help me a great deal if I knew more about you. But I don't and, unless we meet sometime someplace, we can never know one another. So we are stuck right here in the beginning. We are strangers and that is the way things will be between us. But this should not stop us. At least it will not stop me.

I am going to write this book directly to you, as if you were sitting with me in my office. My office is a warm room. It is quiet and private. We have comfortable chairs and the phone doesn't ring. No one will disturb us in my office. It is the office in which I do what psychologists often do-listen to people, talk with them, and try to help them with life's problems.

At the outset I must assume a couple of things about you. And while it is dangerous to make assumptions about people, because of our relationship, I will have to do it. I will assume that because you are reading this book, you have thought about taking your own life, or that you have already attempted to do so. Either way, I will assume you are greatly troubled and that you have considered ending your life.

Assuming this to be true, I am going to talk to you about the pain of living and the consequences of dying, so far as I know about them. I am going to talk to you about suicide. And because your life is at stake, I am not going to fool around. I am not going to kid you. I am not going to mince words. Rather, I intend to be just as honest and straightforward as I know how to be.

And because I have known many people who have wanted to kill themselves and too many who have, I have some idea of what kind of mood you are in at the moment. I know you may not be up to reading a book. But maybe you could read this one. I will keep it short.

One of the reasons I have written this book is that suicide is an unpleasant topic. People do not like to talk about it. They do not like to hear that another human being is so troubled that he or she is considering self-destruction. But this silence is not good for us. It is not good for the troubled person and it is not good for those of us who may wish to avoid the fact that someone we know is so desperate and so alone that ending his or her life seems the only solution. It is time we talked, and talked candidly.

Some people may argue that a book of this kind should not be written and that, somehow, talking plainly about suicide will increase the chances that a reader may die by suicide.

I do not believe this is true, and several research studies support my opinion.

Rather, it is my feeling that the more we learn about dying, the more we learn about living. And, when we have learned more about both, maybe we are better able to fully live all of the life we have left to us.

Another reason I have written this book is that many people kill themselves without ever knowing that help was just phone call away. You wonder, in this modern age, how this can be. But it is true. So maybe this book will find its way into the hands of someone who never knew

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help was there and where to find it. Maybe this book will give someone that little bit of courage they need to ask for that help, or to hold on for another day or another week or until their life changes for the better and the thoughts of suicide begin to fade. Just one more note. I do not have any magic answers or quick solutions to life's problems. I don't think anyone does. So I won't offer you any easy ways of living or simple solutions to the pain and suffering that seem to be a part of all our lives. But because this book is about suicide and nothing less than your life is at stake, I won't apologize for what I have to say to you that you may not like. For all I know, this book may be the last thing you ever read. Paul Quinnett

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