Essays - Loudoun County Public Schools



Essays page 1

ESSAY TOPIC: Should America continue to allow immigration?

Body ¶ 1 Immigrants do important jobs (see note ()

Support: places you see lots of immigrants working (gas, custodian, fast food)

Support: native-born Americans spend 12-16 years in school, don’t want those jobs

Support: immigrants work hard (personal experience)

Body ¶ 2 Immigrants enrich culture

Support: music [what about it?] – Irish music, sound images

Support: food [what about it?] – Mexican food, taste images

Support: enrich us by challenging us to think & be tolerant – ex, burqas

Body ¶ 3 Immigrants use up tax money

Support: examples: food stamps, Social Security, health care

Support: this money comes from hardworking taxpayers

Support: Is that why immigrants come? History proves no, immigrants came before there were government services

Who forgot to flush? Roll up your sleeves and dig in, because all 46 toilets need to sparkle when your shift ends at 2 AM. That may not be your dream-job, but it is a chance millions of people all over the globe are willing to die for. In this essay, I will explore reasons why America should and should not welcome immigrants. I will explore their impact on jobs, culture, and social services.

One reason America should welcome immigrants is that they do many of the jobs middle class Americans do not want to do. If you have been to a gas station or fast-food restaurant or had work done on your yard recently, you saw that for yourself. I for one feel grateful: I spent 16 hard years of my life in school, and to work an unskilled job would be to waste all that education. Employers should be grateful too, for the excellent work most immigrants do. I spent a summer working at a plant nursery alongside many people from Mexico, El Salvador, and other Latin American countries. We had to dig holes, carry bags of dirt around, and unload trucks. At the end of every day, I was sore, exhausted, and covered in blisters even though I only got half as much work done as the Spanish guys and ladies. If that nursery had to rely on over-privileged kids like me, it – along with thousands of other businesses – would go bankrupt.

Another gift immigrants give us is their culture, such as music, food, festivals, and dances. Four of my great-grandparents came from Ireland, and I inherited their love of Irish music. I have been lucky enough to hear the fast, foot-stomping pound of the “bodhrán” drum and the slow, heart-breaking wail of the “uilleann” bagpipes in both America and Ireland. Now, in Ireland, when you want dinner afterward, you are stuck with potatoes and blood-sausage, plus maybe a little oatmeal for variety. In America, I can go to my favorite Mexican restaurant where I know that anything with the word “queso” in it will be warm and gooey and wonderful (and where I know to stay away from the word “picante”). If it were not for Irish, Mexican, African, British, Chinese, German, and other immigrants, almost nothing that we cherish about America would be true.

But immigration also causes difficulties, such as the strain it places on Americans’ tax-dollars. Food stamps, Social Security for the elderly, Medicaid for the poor – these things do not grow on trees but come from the pockets of hardworking American taxpayers. It is not fair to ask those taxpayers to fund government services for large numbers of immigrants, especially illegal ones. But whose fault is this? A century ago, the Statue of Liberty announced, "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free!” It was a promise of freedom, not a free lunch. That was why immigrants like my great-grandparents came here by the millions, and that is still why they come today; the only difference is that today when they get here, the government gives them free handouts, and then the taxpayers get mad about it. Is there some way to satisfy both the taxpayers and the immigrants?

So there are good things and bad things about immigration. Immigrants do some of the nastiest, most necessary work so that I do not have to, and they treat me to their music, food, and culture; yet they also eat up some of my tax-dollars. I cannot help thinking there is a win-win solution lurking in all this, but I am not sure what it is.

Lesson 1: Making Essays (Somewhat) Fun Essays page 2

Typing challenge.

Discussion: why do essays have such a bad reputation among students?

Why writing is important.

Story about getting sick of EngFish.

(A few of Mr. Krueger’s favorite topics to write about: myself, computer programming, Irish music, evolution, psychology, cultural diversity, rock / heavy metal, language / grammar, world history, video games, movies, fantasy / science fiction, nature / animals / plants, friendship, audio editing, politics

A few things you might not hate to write about:

What is an essay? – ask then tell.

( Introduction (aka intro, introductory ¶; “¶” = “¶aragraph”): tells what the essay will be about

Body ¶s: contain the main arguments / ideas of the essay; in a 5-¶ essay, there are 3 body-¶s

Conclusion (aka conclusory ¶): summarizes the essay

See Essay Dude.

Read immigration essay.

How do those ¶s match the definitions above?

Boring essay topic on screen: “What’s your favorite class ever?”

(Twist it so I get to complain, which is more fun! Write about least favorite; in the intro, explain that favorite class would be one that wasn’t like these.

body ¶ 1: Classes with too much homework

body ¶ 2: True story of teacher who picked on me

body ¶ 3: Rather eat broken glass than read Charles Dickens.

Now give me 2 more topics; outline on screen.

(Boring topic 1: Boring topic 2:

Possible ways

to tackle it:

Boring topic 3: Boring topic 4:

Lesson 1: Making Essays Fun (continued) Essays page 3

(ESSAY 1: HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT SCHOOL? (

Step 1: Fill in mini-outline below. On screen, web-layout, zoom 300%; read over together.

Step 2: Read until I call you up. What I’ll be looking for: ≥ 1 ¶ idea that connects to your interests (page 2, circle 1) and that you’re (at least a little bit) enthusiastic about. 1 point for each interesting ¶ idea.

[pic]Don't go on to Step 3 until you have my initials: . If I call you up but don’t give you my initials, you must revise your mini-outline and then read until I call you up again. Don’t worry: you’ll get full credit as long as you’re trying, even if you never get to write the essay.

Step 3: Write the essay on your own paper with the title “ESSAY 1”. Remember, you may copy as many words as you want to from my “Essay Starter”. When done, put it at the end of your “Essays” section; then read. Revising handwritten text.

Mini-outline:

1 – interesting idea for body-¶ 1

2 – interesting idea for body-¶ 2

3 – interesting idea for body-¶ 3

(Essay Starter (the basic shape and length of your essay):

In this essay, I will explain how I feel about school. I will talk about _________, _________, and __________.

The first thing you need to know about school is... This paragraph should be at least 4 sentences long. Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah.

The second thing I am going to explain about school is... This paragraph should be at least 4 sentences long. Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah.

Probably the most important thing about school is... This paragraph should be at least 4 sentences long. Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah.

Now you know how I feel about school. Because of _________, __________, and __________, I would have to say that school is definitely _____!

(Revising handwritten text:

Break from essays.

Review lesson.

(ESSAY 2: HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT YOUR FAMILY?

Step 1: Fill out the mini-outline below:

body ¶ 1:

body ¶ 2:

body ¶ 3:

Step 2: For one of these ¶s, justify (prove / explain) why it’s going to be interesting to write (and to read) in ≥ 1 sentence:

Step 3: Write the essay on your own paper with the title “ESSAY 2”. Right now, make an “ESSAY 2” page and write your name on it and the grading rubric below. You may copy as many words as you want to from my “Essay Starter” (circle 2). Due next class (right now, write in agenda), but may turn in this class. When done, turn in this page and the essay. When I give them back, put this page back in page-order and put the essay at the end of your “Essays” section.

Grading rubric

Name: Mini-outline (15 pts): Justification (15 pts): Essay (10 pts):

If you do all the work but don’t get all the points, review my comments and try again. I’ll help you if necessary.

½ hour. Note on “Announcements” to collect and grade.

Lesson 2: Brainstorming Essays page 4

After today, this is optional: if you’re stuck / don’t know what to write.

(Brainstorm 1(: Close your eyes and use your mind’s eye to imagine things, places, people, sounds, smells, touches, tastes. Then write words or short phrases that come to mind. You’re not writing sentences; spelling and grammar don’t apply. For the immigration topic, I might have written “jobs, convenience store, vans, border, police, racism, taxes, anger, debate, students, Fabiana, Brazil, food, religion, my great-grandparents, Belgium, Ireland”. Your brainstorming topic: IS AMERICA THE BEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD? Write silently ~1m.

While sharing, keep writing your own ideas or ideas from board that make sense to you, until the lines above are filled.

(Brainstorm 2(: Ask yourself: what’s important / interesting about this topic?; what piece of this do I actually care about? For immigration, I might have written “major political issue; I know many immigrants; some people get so angry about it; important to economics; I’m the descendant of immigrants; human rights; taxation; welfare; cultural diversity; racism”. Write ~1m.

Share.

( Brainstorm 3(: How does this connect to any of the things I like talking about? For immigration: “Irish music is my immigrant heritage; I myself am the descendent of immigrants; many computer programmers are immigrants; immigration increases cultural diversity; drummer Lars Ulrich of the metal band Metallica and singer King Diamond of the metal band Mercyful Fate are immigrants from Denmark; I enjoy talking to people about the languages they speak; how in the history of the world did America become the place immigrants want to go to?; I have friends from Mexico, Thailand, Korea, etc.”. Write ~1m.

Share.

(Brainstorm 4(: Who do I know / where have I been / what TV shows have I seen that relate to this topic? What people or places do I know about? For immigration: “friends Chris, Opoku, Paul, Juanita; Mexico, El Salvador, Korea, the border, 7-11; the news, political campaigns, author Sandra Cisneros; many of my students”. Write ~1m.

Share.

(Now group them into categories, and you can add while you’re doing this. For immigration:

friends / girlfriends: Chris, Paul, Opoku, Jorge, Juanita, Fabiana, Sylvia

countries: America, Thailand, Korea, Mexico, El Salvador

music: Irish music, Spanish music, African music, heavy metal-Danish connection

ignorance: racism, discrimination against Muslims and Indians after 9-11, Indian friend Ramish

jobs / economics: 7-11, vans, construction, cleaning, computer programming

illegal immigration: angry political debate, taxes, welfare system, President Obama’s new health care plan

my family: great-grandparents, Belgium, Ireland, Irish music

category name what fits in that category

Lesson 3: Paragraphs Essays page 5

Difference between creative & academic/professional writing in terms of audience, need for structure.

Basic purpose of outlining = organize thoughts; ketchup-in-your-milkshake example.

What is a ¶?

Review my outline (¶s, not supports).

Show outlines.

~10 “America” ¶s on board.

(¶ Goal 1 (: On-topic. But the more creative you can be, the more ideas you can link to the topic. Students evaluate ¶s on board.

(¶ Goal 2 (: Organized. Similar ideas need to be in the same ¶; different ideas need to be in separate ¶s. Evaluate board.

(¶ Goal 3 (: Clear focus. A few pitfalls to avoid:

a. A ¶ that’s the same as the whole essay topic (. For my topic, a ¶ focusing on “immigration” (. The whole essay is about immigration. I need to get more [pic]specific[pic]. Evaluate board.

b. A ¶ that is vague / fuzzy / unclear (. For my topic, something like “things you need to know” (. What things does the reader need to know specifically? Give the ¶ a [pic]specific[pic] focus. Evaluate board.

c. With a yes-or-no topic, there’s a temptation to have a yes-¶ and a no-¶. For example: “good things about immigration”, “bad things about immigration” (. This is a bad idea for a few reasons:

1) “Good / bad things” is way too vague. Each ¶ should explore a [pic]specific[pic] good / bad thing. Look back at my ¶s on board.

2) What are you going to do for your 3rd ¶? – “neutral things”? Neutral things are boring. “My opinion”? You stated your opinion in the 1st 2 ¶s.

3) Arguing for both sides is wishy-washy; you want to take a bold stand. For immigration, I specifically didn’t want to take a bold stand and offend anyone, because teachers are supposed to be neutral, but in reality I have bold feelings on the subject! Evaluate board.

(¶ Goal 4 (: Plenty of interesting ideas. It’s possible to be too specific, which leaves you without enough ideas to make a whole ¶.

a. Some people try to handle this by repeating themselves (: “I love Mexican food. It is delicious. Everyone has foods that they love, and for me, it’s Mexican food. Thank you, Mexico. Have you ever tried Mexican food? You should. There are Mexican restaurants in every town, with many different foods to choose from. Everyone can find something that they will like. I love Mexican food, and you will too.” (

b. Solution 1: zoom in. Add lots of extra detail. I could talk about cheese, burritos, carne asada, etc. But sometimes you just can’t think of any more details.

c. Solution 2: zoom out. What other ideas fit with Mexican food to make a larger category? Review my ¶ on board. Evaluate board.

(ESSAY 3: CONVINCE THE READER THAT YOUR FAVORITE SPORT / HOBBY / LITERARY GENRE / MUSICAL STYLE (FOCUS ON ONLY ONE) IS THE BEST

Step 1: Fill in the mini-outline below. If you’re stuck, brainstorm.

body ¶ 1

body ¶ 2

body ¶ 3

Step 2: Read over Goals #1-4 again and see if you met them. These are what I’ll be looking for when I talk to you. Read while waiting to be called up.

[pic]Don't go on to Step 3 until you have my initials: . If I call you up but don’t give you my initials, you must revise your mini-outline and then read until I call you up again. Don’t worry: you’ll get full credit as long as you’re trying, even if you never get to write the essay.

Step 3: Write the essay on your own paper with the title “ESSAY 3”. Remember, you may copy as many words as you want to from my “Essay Starter” (page 3, circle 2). When done, put it at the end of your “Essays” section; then read.

Break from essays.

Review lesson.

(ESSAY 4: WHAT ARE YOU MOST PROUD OF ABOUT YOURSELF, AND/OR WHAT WOULD YOU MOST LIKE TO CHANGE?

Step 1: Fill out this mini-outline: body-¶ 1:

body-¶ 2:

body-¶ 3:

Step 2: Write the essay on your own paper with the title “ESSAY 4”. Right now, make an “ESSAY 4” page and write your name on it and the grading rubric below. You may copy as many words as you want to from my “Essay Starter” (PAGE 3, circle 2). Due next class (right now, write in agenda), but may turn in this class. When done, turn in this page and the essay. When I give them back, put this page back in page-order and put the essay at the end of your “Essays” section.

Grading rubric

Name: ¶ Goal 1 (5 pts): ¶ Goal 2 (10 pts): ¶ Goal 3 (10 pts): ¶ Goal 4 (10 pts): Essay (5 pts):

If you do all the work but don’t get all the points, review my comments and try again. I’ll help you if necessary.

½ hour. Note on “Announcements” to collect and grade.

Lesson 4: Support (part 1) Essays page 6

Basic purpose: to explain yourself fully. Makes essay convincing / powerful. Can also make it fun/interesting/funny. Without support, essay is weak & boring, like teacher who gives long lecture without any activities for students.

(Support type 1: list of [pic]specific[pic] examples: “places you see lots of immigrants working (gas, custodian, fast food)”

Show, don’t tell.

Fully supported outline = beautiful thing: essay write itself! Find & label “S1”.

Note: gas, custodian, & fast food ≠ separate supports.

Add 2 lists of examples to practice topic (circle 5, below).

(Support type 2: [pic]specific[pic] personal info / preference: “native-born Americans… don’t want those jobs”

Label.

Made it more personal in essay (“I”, not “Americans”). OK to deviate from outline. Explain value of personal sharing.

This support helps prove argument that immigrants do “important” jobs.

OK to stretch / embellish personal details, but not to point of being ridiculous.

Add.

(Support type 3: short personal story / [pic]specific[pic] memory : “immigrants work hard (personal experience)”

Label.

Value: (1) vivid / concrete; (2) plenty to write about when you write what you know – 4 whole sentences!

At end, you must explain point of story: “If everyone worked like me, that nursery and thousands of other businesses would go bankrupt.” Proves immigrants’ work is “important”. Not just true of stories: unless it’s obvious why you included certain piece of support, explain what it proves.

Add.

(PRACTICE TOPIC: WHAT ANIMALS MAKE THE BEST PETS?

body ¶ 1: vote on animal:

Support:

type: type:

type: type:

type: type:

type: type:

(ESSAY 5: IS YOUR LIFE AS A TEENAGER BETTER OR WORSE THAN YOUR LIFE AS A LITTLE KID?

Body ¶ 1: Greater freedom as a teenager. Body ¶ 2: Greater work as a teenager. Body ¶ 3: How relationships – with family, friends, boy/girlfriends, teachers – are different from when you were little.

Step 1: Fill in the support for body ¶ 1, including at least two types of support listed above (circles 1-4); where you do, note the Type # on the outline. Then read while waiting to be called up.

Body ¶ 1: Greater freedom as a teenager

Support: type:

Support: type:

Support: type:

[pic]Don't go on to Step 2 until you have my initials: . If I call you up but don’t give you my initials, you must revise your support and then read until I call you up again. Don’t worry: you’ll get full credit as long as you’re trying, even if you never get to write the essay.

Step 2: Write the intro and 1st body ¶ on your own paper with the title “ESSAY 5”. [pic] Don’t write any more of the essay! Remember, you may copy as many words as you want to from my “Essay Starter” (page 3, circle 2). When done, put it at the end of your “Essays” section; then read.

Lesson 4: Support (part 2) Essays page 7

(Support type 4: [pic]specific[pic] vivid image / exciting vocabulary: “Irish music, sound images” and “Mexican food, taste images”

Label S1 & S2 of ¶ 2.

“Music” & “food” by themselves don’t have physical / emotional impact, without specific details like “foot-stomping”, “blood sausage”, “gooey”.

5 senses, not just sight. Which ones did I use?

I used vivid vocabulary (“foot-stomping pound”, “heart-breaking wail”) to give life to unfamiliar terms (“bodhrán drum”, “uilleann bagpipes”); better then boring dictionary definition.

Add 2 or 3 exciting words / images to practice topic (circle 4).

(Support type 5: humor: “oatmeal for variety” (OK, not that funny!)

3 volunteers read:

Note on HUMOR and PASSION: Sometimes people use humor to hide from their emotions. If you ask me a serious question, and I turn it into a joke, I haven’t really answered the question. I like wacky / gross / random humor as much as anyone, but sometimes you need to set humor aside and be real. (“Real?”)

One crucial part of writing interesting essays (as well as interesting fiction, journals, articles, poetry, music, art) is connecting to your passion, and passion, deep down, means PAIN. What gets you mad? What makes you feel empty, lost, alone, scared? Are you a robot writing an essay, or are you a human being who bleeds when you’re stabbed, who cries when your heart is broken?

It can be hard to connect with your passion and even harder to connect with your peace and joy. When you think about the environment, do you see the natural world as it could be, full of life and peace and beauty? Do you have deep feelings about your religion, family, country? Put them in your writing. It’s a little uncool, but you don’t have to let your friends read what you write. And who knows: they could be getting deep in their essays too.

Responses?

Add.

(Support type 6: logical argument based on [pic]specific[pic] facts (historical / scientific / etc.): “enrich us by challenging us to think & be tolerant – ex, burqas”

Anyone know about burqas / French law against them?

Label S3 – OK to deviate from outline. Used so much exciting vocabulary & imagery, I didn’t need this point.

Demonstrates education / intelligence.

Who can give examples of historical / scientific / miscellaneous fact?

Which type is mine?

Hard. Add? (If not, add a few from previous lesson.)

(Same PRACTICE TOPIC as before: WHAT ANIMALS MAKE THE BEST PETS?

body ¶ 2: vote on animal:

Support:

type: type:

type: type:

type: type:

type: type:

(ESSAY 5, part 2: IS YOUR LIFE AS A TEENAGER BETTER OR WORSE THAN YOUR LIFE AS A LITTLE KID? Body ¶ 2: Greater work as a teenager

Step 1: Fill in the support for body ¶ 2, including at least one type of support listed above (circles 1-3) and one type from the previous lesson (page 6, circles 1-4); where you do, note the Type # on the outline. Then read while waiting to be called up.

Support: type:

Support: type:

Support: type:

[pic]Don't go on to Step 2 until you have my initials: . If I call you up but don’t give you my initials, you must revise your support and then read until I call you up again. Don’t worry: you’ll get full credit as long as you’re trying, even if you never get to write the essay.

Step 2: Write the 2nd body ¶ on your “ESSAY 5” page. [pic] Don’t write any more of the essay! Remember, you may copy as many words as you want to from my “Essay Starter” (page 3, circle 2). When done, put it at the end of your “Essays” section; then read.

Lesson 4: Support (part 3) Essays page 8

(Support type 7: moral (fairness/unfairness) argument: “this money comes from hardworking taxpayers”

This is S2; first, label S1. What type of support we previously discussed is this?

Don’t drag out too long; return to argument: I’m discussing government services to criticize immigration.

Label S2.

Add 2 or 3 fairness/unfairness arguments to practice topic (circle 4).

(Support type 8: asking a question / changing your mind: “is that why immigrants come? History proves no”

Label.

OK to admit you’re unsure, but don’t leave reader confused.

Add.

(Support type 9: quote / [pic]specific[pic] literary reference: Statue of Liberty quote

Book, movie, song, poem.

Creative way to make a point, and makes you sound educated.

“A century ago” – what other type of support that we’ve studied is this?

Add.

(Same PRACTICE TOPIC as before: WHAT ANIMALS MAKE THE BEST PETS?

body ¶ 3: vote on animal:

Support:

type: type:

type: type:

type: type:

type: type:

(ESSAY 5, part 3: IS YOUR LIFE AS A TEENAGER BETTER OR WORSE THAN YOUR LIFE AS A LITTLE KID? Body ¶ 3: How relationships – with family, friends, boy/girlfriends, teachers – are different from when you were little

Step 1: Fill in the support for body ¶ 3, including at least one type of support listed above (circles 1, 3) and one type from either of the two previous lessons (page 6, circles 1-4 or page 7, circles 1-3); where you do, note the Type # on the outline. Then read while waiting to be called up.

Support: type:

Support: type:

Support: type:

[pic]Don't go on to Step 2 until you have my initials: . If I call you up but don’t give you my initials, you must revise your support and then read until I call you up again. Don’t worry: you’ll get full credit as long as you’re trying, even if you never get to write the essay.

Step 2: Write the 3rd body ¶ and conclusion on your “ESSAY 5” page. Remember, you may copy as many words as you want to from my “Essay Starter” (page 3, circle 2). When done, put it at the end of your “Essays” section; then read.

Break from essays.

Review lesson.

(ESSAY 6: WHAT IS YOUR ONE FAVORITE PLACE IN THE WORLD (EXAMPLES: YOUR ROOM, THE BEACH, A SOFTBALL FIELD, FRIEND’S HOUSE)

Step 1: Write an outline on one of my outlines. Right now, take one and write your name and the topic on it (may abbreviate: “favorite place”). Include ≥ 3 different types of support we studied (see Summary page) and identify them on the outline: if you include a personal story, write “(type 4)” next to it on the outline.

Step 2: Write the essay on your own paper with the title “ESSAY 6”. Right now, make an “ESSAY 6” page and write your name on it and the grading rubric below. You may copy as many words as you want to from my “Essay Starter” (PAGE 3, circle 2). Due next class (right now, write in agenda), but may turn in this class. When done, turn in this page, outline, and essay. When I give them back, put this page back in page-order and put the outline & essay at the end of your “Essays” section.

Grading rubric

Name: One support type (10 pts): Another support type (10 pts): Another support type (10 pts): Essay (10 pts):

If you do all the work but don’t get all the points, review my comments and try again. I’ll help you if necessary.

½ hour. Note on “Announcements” to collect and grade.

Lesson 5: Intros & Conclusions Essays page 9

(Introduction technique 1: attention grabber (aka “hook”): Say something shocking / exciting / vivid / unusual / weird, then explain how it connects to the topic of the essay. Label in my essay.

(Introduction technique 2: thesis: State what the essay is about. Label. Better to be bold (I didn’t want to offend):

Immigrants are destroying America, and we should erect a 30-foot wall around the border guarded by machine guns, land-mines, and attack-dogs with rabies.

Immigration has always been at the core of America’s greatness and her goodness, and if we end it, we won’t deserve to call ourselves “Americans” anymore.

(Introduction technique 3: preview of body ¶s: Mention very briefly what each of the body ¶s is about. Label. What part of a book is this similar to?

(A technique I don’t like that you may have learned: using background information to explain why the essay topic is important: “The immigration debate is one of the fiercest and most crucial in our national dialog. It profoundly affects our economy and forces us to answer difficult moral questions.” If you truly feel passionate about the topic, this can be great; if you’re not passionate not but you pretend you are, you sound phony like in my example.

Which technique do you think is most important?

(Write an intro for the practice topics below. Use all 3 of my techniques (circles 1-3) in the order above. When done, label the parts of your intros as you labeled my essay. Present each topic. Cue each technique & provide verbal examples.

PRACTICE TOPIC: SCHOOL SHOULD BE ABOLISHED

body ¶ 1: Most subjects irrelevant body ¶ 2: Should be out working, gaining job experience body ¶ 3: Teachers are cruel

PRACTICE TOPIC: HIPHOP IS THE BEST TYPE OF MUSIC

body ¶ 1: Messages connect to real life more than other types of music body ¶ 2: Takes the most skill to perform body ¶ 3: Best to dance to

PRACTICE TOPIC: ONCE YOU’RE MAKING YOUR OWN MONEY AND LIVING ON YOUR OWN, HOW WILL YOU CHOOSE TO FEED YOURSELF?

body ¶ 1: Eating for health body ¶ 2: Eating for pleasure body ¶ 3: Exercising so you can eat for pleasure more

Share 1 person’s attn, another’s thesis, & another’s preview & then repeat in sequence; then do other 2 topics.

Lesson 5: Intros & Conclusions (continued) Essays page 10

(Conclusion technique 1: restated thesis: Repeat what the essay was all about. Label in my essay. Again, better to be bold:

These are the reasons why we would be fools to let one more immigrant into America.

For all these reasons, we would be the big losers if we cut off immigration.

(Conclusion technique 2: summary of body ¶s: Briefly repeat the main point of each body ¶. Label.

(Conclusion technique 3: final thought / question / twist: Leave the reader with some interesting challenge to think about. Ask a question, or challenge them to take some kind of action, or say something shocking or thought-provoking for them to remember after they’ve put your essay down. Label. Beware of tritely repeating the question: “What kind of pet would youuuuuu like to have?”; make reader think.

Which technique do you think is most important?

( Write a conclusion for the practice topics on the previous page. Use all 3 of my techniques (circles 1-3) in the order above. When done, label the parts of your conclusions as you labeled my essay. Cue each technique & provide verbal examples.

ABOLISH SCHOOL:

HIPHOP:

FOOD:

Share as with intros.

(ESSAY 7: IS TOO MUCH TV OR VIDEO GAMING A BAD THING? TAKE A BOLD STAND ONE WAY OR THE OTHER

Step 1: Write an outline (using one of my outlines) & essay (on your own paper with the title “ESSAY 7”). Right now, take an outline & put your name on it, make an “ESSAY 7” page and put your name on it, and put your name on the Grading Rubric below. From now on, all your intros must have a thesis, and all your conclusions must have a restated thesis; the other techniques are optional. However, your intro & conclusion must also be 2 sentences long, so use one of the other techniques listed or some other technique you know about.

Step 2: Label the thesis (only) in your intro & conclusion. Due next class (right now, write in agenda), but may turn in this class. When done, turn in this page, outline, and essay. When I give them back, put this page back in page-order and put the outline & essay at the end of your “Essays” section.

Grading rubric

Name: Outline (5 pts): Intro w labeled thesis (15 pts): Conclusion w labeled thesis (15 pts): Essay (5 pts):

If you do all the work but don’t get all the points, review my comments and try again. I’ll help you if necessary.

½ hour. Note on “Announcements” to collect and grade.

Lesson 6: Transitions Essays page 11

Bike-riding-with-friend analogy.

(Topic sentence: Each body ¶ must start with a sentence that explains what that ¶ is about.

Label in my essay with parentheses & “topic”. Circle key word / phrase. You can restate topic at end of ¶. Which of my ¶s does this? Label.

(Topic sentence of 1st body ¶: Explain how this ¶ fits with the thesis of the essay. That way the intro ¶ flows smoothly into the first body ¶.

Underline transition phrase, label “trans”. Can repeat words to make connection stronger. Which word from intro ¶ did I repeat in topic sentence of 1st body ¶? Wouldn’t have been as clear if I’d used a synonym like “work”.

(Topic sentences of 2nd & 3rd body ¶s: Explain how the new ¶ fits with the previous one. That way the essay keeps flowing.

Underline & label. What am I saying about how the 1st & 2nd body ¶s fit together? What special transition-word shows that? 2nd & 3rd?

You can put transition phrase at end of previous ¶: at end of ¶ on culture, could have written, “Working important jobs and sharing their cultures are reasons we should welcome immigrants; however, you may be shocked to discover the price we pay for doing so.” Creates suspense.

Transition & topic can be 2 sentences: “Unfortunately immigration also causes difficulties. Immigrants place a strain on Americans’ tax-dollars.”

(Propose verbally before writing; on board; copy into blanks. Label transition phrases.

HIPHOP: Topic sentence of body ¶ 1:

Topic sentence of body ¶ 2:

Topic sentence of body ¶ 3. This time let’s be more [pic]specific[pic] than just “Another great thing about hiphop is dancing to it.” Remember, the purpose of the transition phrase is to explain how this ¶ fits with the previous one. So how do rapping and dancing fit together? (They do!):

ABOLISH SCHOOL: Topic sentence of body ¶ 1:

Topic sentence of body ¶ 2. Make a [pic]specific[pic] connection:

Topic sentence of body ¶ 3. This one doesn’t have to be as specific. Link it back to the thesis with the word “last”, “final”, or “worst”:

FOOD: Topic sentence of body ¶ 1:

Topic sentence of body ¶ 2. Make a [pic]specific[pic] connection:

Topic sentence of body ¶ 3. Make a [pic]specific[pic] connection:

(Conclusion word/phrase: At the beginning of the conclusion ¶, you must stop the flow with a verbal signal that this is “THE END” (but you’re a big kid, so you can’t use those words): “in conclusion, thus, therefore, as you can see, in the final analysis, ultimately, in the end, now you know”, etc.

What word did I use? Underline. “finally” / “lastly” suggest your last new idea, your last body ¶.

(ESSAY 8: WHAT IS A TRUE FRIEND?

Step 1: Write an outline (using one of my outlines) & essay (on your own paper with the title “ESSAY 8”). Right now, take an outline & put your name on it, make an “ESSAY 8” page and put your name on it, and put your name on the Grading Rubric below. From now on, include all transition types above in all essays.

Step 2: Put big parentheses around topic sentence of each body ¶ & underline transition phrase. Due next class (right now, write in agenda), but may turn in this class. When done, turn in this page, outline, & essay. When I give back, put this page back in page-order & put outline & essay at end of “Essays” section.

Grading rubric

Name: Outline & essay (10 pts): Topic sentence of 1st body ¶ (5 pts): Transition phrase (5 pts):

Topic sentence of 2nd body ¶ (5 pts): Transition phrase (5 pts):

Topic sentence of 3rd body ¶ (5 pts): Transition phrase (5 pts):

If you do all the work but don’t get all the points, review my comments and try again. I’ll help you if necessary.

½ hour. Note on “Announcements” to collect and grade.

Summary Essays page 12

Review: What is an essay? What is a ¶? What is an intro ¶? What is a conclusion ¶? What is the body of an essay? What is a body ¶? How many body ¶s in a 5 ¶ essay? Which of the 5 ¶s are the body-¶s? How many sentences do I need to see in an intro / conclusion? In a body ¶? How many ¶s on my outline? Which of my 5 ¶s did I describe on my outline? What is the most important word when writing essays? Why? What does it mean for a ¶ to be too broad? Too narrow? What is a list of examples? Personal story? Personal belief? Image? What senses do people forget to make images for? Background info? Historical fact? Scientific fact? Literary fact? Moral (fairness/unfairness) argument? Attention grabber? Thesis? Preview of body ¶s? Summary of body ¶s? Final thought? Which intro / conclusion technique is required? Why? What is a topic sentence? Transition sentence? What words signal conclusion?

(Making Essays Fun

Try to work in at least one fun / interesting idea even if it kills you! Think about your other interests and try to make a connection. Don’t settle for boredom!

(Brainstorming

Brainstorm 1: Close your eyes and think of mental images associated with the topic.

Brainstorm 2: Ask yourself why you care about this topic? What’s important / interesting / funny about it?

Brainstorm 3: How does this topic connect to your interests?

Brainstorm 4: What people (that you know or celebrities), places, TV shows, movies, books relate to this topic?

Brainstorm 5, which we didn’t talk about before: Go over the types of support below and see what they suggest. Very helpful! Practice.

Many other types.

(Paragraphs

¶ Goal 1: On-topic.

¶ Goal 2: Organized.

¶ Goal 3: Clear focus – watch out for ¶ without a specific focus, ¶ same as essay topic, dividing the topic into yes-no.

¶ Goal 4: Plenty of interesting ideas.

(Support

Support type 1: List of examples (gas station, fast food, custodians)

Support type 2: Personal info (I wouldn’t want to work physical labor)

Support type 3: Personal story (the summer I worked growing plants)

Support type 4: Vivid image (foot-stomping Irish music & gooey, cheesy Mexican food)

Support type 5: Humor (“oatmeal for variety” – not very funny)

Support type 6: Historical / scientific / other types of facts (French law against burqas)

Support type 7: Moral (fairness/unfairness) argument (not fair to take more tax money from people)

Support type 8: Asking a question / changing your mind (do immigrants come here to get free handouts?)

Support type 9: Quote / literary reference (Statue of Liberty quote)

Many other types.

(Intros & Conclusions

Intro technique 1: Attention grabber: say something shocking / exciting / funny.

Intro technique 2: Thesis (required): what is the essay about?

Intro technique 3: Preview of body ¶s

Conclusion technique 1: Restated thesis (required)

Conclusion technique 2: Summary of body ¶s

Conclusion technique 3: Final thought / question / twist: leave the reader with something interesting to think about after the essay is over.

(Transitions

Topic sentence: tell what each body ¶ is about.

Transition phrase: topic sentences should explain how each body ¶ fits with the ¶ before it.

Conclusion word / phrase: “in conclusion”, “thus”, “as you can see”, etc.

(Standard 5-¶ Essay Requirements

Outline showing 3 body ¶s with ≥ 3 pieces of support each.

Intro ¶ ≥ 2 sentences including thesis.

3 body ¶s ≥ 4 sentences each including topic sentences.

Conclusion ¶ ≥ 2 sentences including thesis.[pic]

-----------------------

Note on being SPECIFIC:

Don’t just talk about “video games”; name some games and describe plots and characters. Don’t just talk about “hiphop”; share some lyrics and your interpretation of them, and tell a quick story about the last time you were listening to that song in the car with some friends. These specific details will make your essay better… AND LONGER!

when writing essays. What does it mean? See note on next page.

CON- CLUSION

And then she said… And then I said…

I spend 6 hours on the phone every night telling stories about my life. I wonder if any of those stories could help me prove a point in an essay?

I think SPECIFIC is the single most important word

BODY

2

KOOL

4

SKOOL

I’m so stinky!

5

INTRO

Notice how I gave specific examples of how to be specific?

Note:

I know that not all immigrants are poor, but the vast majority, like my great-grandparents, come here for the chance to work low-paying, unskilled jobs so their kids can have a better life. I don’t see anything negative in that; I admire that level of courage and strength. Comments?

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