My Little Pony: Scootertrix the Abridged: Episode 24 by ...

[Pages:17]My Little Pony: Scootertrix the Abridged: Episode 24 by

Jack Getschman

EXT. LIBRARY - DAY

Birds are SINGING loudly. Scene cuts to the inside of the library. SPIKE is walking down the stairs and TWILIGHT is pacing with an OWL on her back.

SPIKE Hey, Twi. I'm going to go to the store and get some punch for the party toni- Whoa. Where'd the owl come from?

Who?

TWILIGHT

SPIKE The owl.

Who?

TWILIGHT

SPIKE The OW-

Spike SIGHS. Twilight grins smugly.

SPIKE (CONT'D) Why do you have an owl, Twi?

TWILIGHT Isn't he neat? I got him to keep up with all the young people.

Spike SIGHS.

What?

SPIKE

TWILIGHT Owls are a real hoot, you know.

The owl winks at the camera.

SPIKE Wait, hang on-

Beat.

SPIKE (CONT'D) Yah, no one's laughing.

TWILIGHT No really. I'm talon-ya spike, they're great.

SPIKE Jesus. Did- did you just- did you spend all night coming up with owl puns or something?

TWILIGHT Owl night?

Twi!

SPIKE

TWILIGHT (with mirth) What?

SPIKE God you're so lame! If I hear one more owl pun, I'm gonna punch you in your face.

TWILIGHT Oh- well I feather stop then huh?

Twi-

SPIKE

2. CUT TO:

MAIN THEME

CUT TO:

INT. CASTLE - DAY CELESTIA and LUNA stand in front of the stain glass window.

CELESTIA Luna, it's war!

LUNA But you can't announce your imminent meteor bombardment of the Sombra's Armies as, and I quote, "a once in a lifetime celestial dance spectacular?"

CELESTIA But Luna, it is once in a lifetime. Beat.

3.

CELESTIA (CONT'D) Well, their lifetimes, not our lifetime.

LUNA This is sick!

CELESTIA (as if complimented) I know!

LUNA Not that kind of sick! On the flyers, it says, "a treat for the whole family?"

CELESTIA Oh yah. Fun for all ages. The kittens are gonna love it.

LUNA Celestia! Celestia SIGHS.

CELESTIA Luna, a meteor shower onto Sombra's zombies is the only way to stop them. The advertising campaign was just to keep the ponies calm when they see massive balls of exploding ice plummeting down towards the north. Beat.

CELESTIA (CONT'D) Plus I... made table money off the deal.

LUNA You sold tickets?!

CELESTIA At cost, at cost. Beat.

CELESTIA (CONT'D) Virtually.

LUNA To a bombardment? You sold tickets to the incineration of over a hundred thousand creatures!

Beat.

CELESTIA Luna, it's not like they're changlings, they're zombies! By definition, they're already dead. I'm just throwing them this... courtesy cremation. Yeah, I- I should be charging them.

LUNA What will your subjects say?

CELESTIA My subjects are nowhere near the impact zones. They'll just see pretty, twinkling, falling stars, ripe for making wishes on.

CELESTIA (CONT'D) Oh darn it. I should have used that.

ARGH!

LUNA

4. CUT TO:

INT. TWILIGHT'S HOUSE - DAY Birds are SINGING. Spike and Twilight are arguing.

TWILIGHT Oh come on, it was a little funny.

SPIKE Uh, it was a little pathetic. Is that the only reason you bought an owl?

TWILIGHT Pfft. No.

SPIKE Wow. This is just... I'm telling everyone about this tonight.

TWILIGHT Oh... no... You do- you don- You don't need to do that.

SPIKE I'm doing it.

5.

TWILIGHT No-

Twilight SIGHS.

TWILIGHT (CONT'D) Uh, Spike?

Yah?

SPIKE

TWILIGHT I think the spaghettinoodles just caught on fire.

SPIKE Oh good. Give them a couple more minutes then.

TWILIGHT (through clenched teeth) Spike... (normally) You better not destroy our oven again. You remember the last with Berry Punch? How that went down?

SPIKE Yah yah yah. Hey, is Berry Punch coming to this thing?

TWILIGHT Wha- no! Never again!

SPIKE Oh come on, Twi. It was only once!

TWILIGHT Uh, wrong- it was four times! And on top of the oven... The bathroom window is still broken, I don't know when the store will have straws in stock again, and Ponyville made it to the cover of "Poor Choices Monthly" which, I didn't even know was a magazine until they presented Mayor Mare with the award!

SPIKE Ohhhh. I love that pony. Now she's a real hoot.

TWILIGHT Shut up.

6.

Scene switches to outside of the library. The fire alarm SOUNDS.

Spike!

TWILIGHT (CONT'D)

SPIKE Yah, yah. I got it.

CUT TO:

INT. LIBRARY - NIGHT TEXT

LATER THAT NIGHT The MANE SIX are all talking in the room.

FLUTTERSHY And then I said to him, Ultra Fast? More like Ultra... Not... Fast.

PINKIE Uh, yah, wow- wow, yeah, that's fantabulous, Fluttershy. Scene switches to RARITY.

RARITY So um, cool party, Twilight.

TWILIGHT Yeah, thanks! Yeah, I thought we'd have one for that star-shower thing tonight. It's supposed to be this, "once in a lifetime celestial dance spectacular."

SPIKE Hey, Rarity, guess what Twilight did last night.

TWILIGHT Oh no...

SPIKE She spent forty bits on an owl, just to make owl puns.

TWILIGHT It wasn't forty bits...

7.

RARITY You spent forty bits on an owl, just to make owl puns?

TWILIGHT No.

SPIKE She totally did! It was cringy as hell!

TWILIGHT No I didn't.

RARITY Wow. You really did didn't you?

TWILIGHT No I didn't!

SPIKE Oh no, that's right, I'm sorry. Yyou got one to, "keep up with all the young people." Whatever the hell that's supposed to mean.

It is nighttime at the library. Scene switches to THE BIRD.

THE BIRD Well, let me think of an example. Let's say we have a guy, let's call him Derped Chaos 411. He goes to the-

APPLEJACK I- wait a minute.

What?

THE BIRD

APPLEJACK Why is he called Derped Chaos 411?

THE BIRD It was the first name that came into my head.

TWILIGHT Wha- that was the first name that came into your head?! Derped Chaos 411?!

THE BIRD I don't know. Yes.

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