#1 CRITICAL MISTAKE - Amazon Simple Storage Service
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Copyright 2013 Asperger Experts LLC
#1 CRITICAL MISTAKE
ASPERGER EXPERTS
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Copyright 2013 Asperger Experts LLC
How's it going, everyone? Danny Raede here from Asperger Experts. I was diagnosed with Asperger's when I was 12, and in this video, we are going to talk about all this stuff. There's a reason why people with Asperger's are stubborn. There's a reason why they have hygiene issues. There's a reason why homework takes five hours when it should take 15 minutes. That's actually the same reason.
See, what happens is we see so many people that just skip what we're about to teach, and then immediately just go and try and teach life skills and fix things, and go, "Here's how to get out of anxiety." "Here's how to talk to people. " "Here's how to do your homework." Meanwhile, it doesn't work because the person with Asperger's is not absorbing the information.
You know, as I was growing up after being diagnosed with Asperger's -my parents originally thought it was ADD. But after being diagnosed with Asperger's, things were slow at times -- very, very slow. What I mean by that is that it would take me a long time to get things. I was very stubborn. Homework would take five hours, and, literally, I mean we'd have to set the timer, or, otherwise, I would not be able to get things done, and I'd be stressing out over math forever and ever and ever and ever, and it would not be fun. And then, on top of that, there was all the bullying issues and the fact that some teachers were bullying me, and I was just pretty much in a constant state of overwhelm.
So, as I grew up, I finally started to realize that I needed to kind of get my defenses down and lower those walls because, while it was good that the bad couldn't get in, the good couldn't get in either. And people were all the time trying to give me all the answers. They were giving me all the answers that I was seeking in my own life. I was just so stubborn that I wasn't receiving the answers. And because of that, I didn't really start to explode in growth until I was 20 years old, and then things slowly progressed and picked up from there.
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So, I've been through it all. I've been through the IEPs. I've been through the school bureaucratic nonsense. I've been through the bullying, the picky eating -- still do a little bit of picky eating -- meltdowns, sensory issues. You name it, I've been there. And here at Asperger Experts, that's what we try and do. We try and bring in what really goes on in the Asperger's mind and not what people say does because a lot of times, they're blatantly wrong.
I've heard things from, "People with Asperger's don't have imagination." Wrong. "People with Asperger's don't have emotions." Wrong. "People with Asperger's don't have empathy." Wrong. We'll talk about that one for a second here. The reason why you see 'people with Asperger's don't have a lot of empathy' is because it doesn't get out. We have the empathy all the time, but what happens is in order to empathize with someone, you need to be a little bit vulnerable, and we are unwilling to do that because so many people have put us down and said you're not good enough that it's scary to be that vulnerable. So, therefore, we just cut it off and go, "That doesn't matter," when it really does.
But to continue on, I've heard people say that people with Asperger's don't have imagination, and I have no idea where they got that one from. So, there's a lot of misinfo out there. There's a lot of stuff that just plain doesn't work. So, what we're going to do in this video is we're going to show you what's broken and teach you how to alter some ways of things that you're doing so that things are no longer broken.
Because, let's be honest, if the system worked, then people with Asperger's would overcome their limitations and lead amazing lives and everything would be good. But what happens is more like you battle with the school system every single hour to get any accommodations at all, and then you go to a therapist who doesn't really know at all what they're doing.
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So, you end up with pretty much like one percent growth over, like, 10 years. And what we like to do is we like to kind of go with a different approach, which we're about to teach you here, and what that does is it does, like, 100 percent growth in the span of two months, meaning that they grow so much it's almost like they're a different person in very short time frames. That's what we do here.
So, there's a reason why people with Asperger's are so stubborn and want to do things their way and want to control everything and it's pretty much their way or the highway. There's a reason why even though they're fully capable of dealing with all the hygiene issues, they just don't take a shower or brush their teeth every day. I mean, it got to the point for me where I was going to the dentist every three months just because I wouldn't brush my teeth. There's a reason why homework takes five hours when it should take 10 or 15 minutes, and that has to do with what you're focusing on right now because most people, they focus on the skills.
They focus on, "You must not know how to do math." "You must not know how to brush your teeth." "You must be very stubborn, so I'm going to try and argue with you and convince you that you're not stubborn," which, by the way, never works. Again, if it did work, you wouldn't be here watching this video. So instead, your new number one focus needs to be getting people with Asperger's out of defense mode.
So, what I mean by that is that we're so busy trying to protect ourselves against a lot of things, mainly sensory issues. But we're so busy trying to protect our self against all this stuff that we have no time to focus on anything else. So, there's three things that happen here. When we are under attack, there are three main things that kind of happen.
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The first is overwhelm, meaning because we're always under attack, we get so overwhelmed that nothing else can happen because when you're overwhelmed, you can't produce. You can't do activities. You can't live life. You're too busy trying to get un-overwhelmed, and that is your main focus. Your main focus is survival. That's where the stress comes into play -- that's number two -- because what happens is because when we get overwhelmed, we get so stressed, and then we have tons of anxiety. And because all these three come into play -- the overwhelm, the stress, and the anxiety -- there's really no room for us to grow at all.
Think of it like if you go over to a soldier in Afghanistan who's in the middle of fighting somewhere -- or really anywhere in the world. But if you go up to a soldier, and they're in the middle of fighting, and you're like, "Today, I'm going to teach you knitting," and you try and teach them how to knit, they are so busy trying to fight for their life, essentially, that they don't care that you're trying to teach them knitting. They are so overwhelmed, they're so stressed, and they have so much anxiety that knitting is the last thing that they ever want to think about.
So, when we go back here, the reason that we're so stubborn is because we are very locked down into our ways because, for us, that's what works, and no one, really, is competent enough to show us, "Hey, we have some other way of saying this actually works, too." So we lock down. The reason that we don't do hygiene is because, again, we're busy fighting. We don't care about brushing our teeth. We're too busy trying to survive. Same thing with homework. It'll take forever, but we're trying to survive, and we're trying to survive via overwhelm, stress, and anxiety.
Now, the way that all this stuff works -- and I'm not really going to go into what causes this right now. If you'd like, there is another video right below this called The Sensory Funnel video where I go in depth and do how this all stacks
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