Case File: R1



Case File: SIR HOPS-A-LOT

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Facts:

• Room Temperature: 74º F

• Body Temperature on arrival 87º F

• Body Temperature after 20 minutes: 82º F

• Normal Rabbit body temperature: 103º F

• Witnesses reported that Ms. Murphy had just finished giving out new seats and that Sir Hops-A-Lot did not like his new seat.

What happened: SIR HOPS-A-LOT

Sir Hops-A-Lot was upset by his new seat. He wanted an Ace to sit in the front, so he conjured an Ace from his magic hat. Unfortunately, all the aces had legitimately been given out. Mason received one of these aces and did not see the Sir HAL at his desk before dropping his twenty pound backpack on the unfortunate rabbit.

Mason did not see the body until 33.052 minutes later when he went to get his calculator out of his book bag.

Moral: Never try to switch cards when desks are assigned.

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Case File: CHATTY CHAD

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Facts:

• Room Temperature: 78º F

• Body Temperature on arrival 85º F

• Body Temperature after ½ hour: 83º F

• Normal Human body temperature: 98º F

• Witnesses reported Chad had mentioned he needed to call Charlie.

• When interviewed, Charlie said she only gave Chad the first number in her cell phone and assumed Chad could figure out she really didn’t want to talk to Chad.

What happened: CHAD

Chatty Chad did not pay attention in math classes (he was too busy talking) and didn’t realize that for each of the 6 slots, there were 10 possibilities, creating one million permutations. Chad was going through each one, but died of starvation before he reached the 51,398 call. Ironically, his next combination would have been the correct one.

It took 93.603 minutes for Chad’s parents to realize he was running up the phone bill.

Moral: Leave your cell phone at home!

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Case File: HAMMY

Facts:

• Room Temperature: 72º F

• Body Temperature on arrival 90º F

• Body Temperature after 12 minutes: 87º F

• Normal Mouse body temperature: 96º F

• The following scraps of paper were found at the scene:

derivative

0 enough times equals

apply [pic]

What Happened: Hammy

Hammy had shredded his Calculus notes to make bedding. He was trying to reconstruct the words. The original notes read: “If you take the derivative of a polynomial enough times, it equals 0. This does not apply to [pic].” Thus, Hammy was trying to take the derivative of [pic]enough times to have it equal to 0. He was distracted by this impossible problem and did not see the janitors broom handle until it was too late.

It took the janitor 18.935 minutes to find gloves to pick up the body and dispose of it.

Moral: Don’t get too caught up in a problem!

Case File: SQUIRRLY

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Facts:

• Room Temperature: 69º F

• Body Temperature on arrival 85º F

• Body Temperature after 10 minutes: 80º F

• Normal Squirrly body temperature: 101º F

• Witnesses reported seeing Squirrly practicing this play for the upcoming game against the Birds.

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What Happened: Squirrly

Squirrly had forgotten that speed was the absolute value of velocity. He assumed that speed also included direction. Thus, when pivoting at the wall, he continued to run to the right (in a positive direction). He died on impact (Squirrly was a fast runner).

The body was found 18.499 minutes later when the marching band came out for practice.

Moral: Speed only indicates magnitude of velocity, not direction so watch where you are going.

Case File: PABLO

Facts:

• Room Temperature: 71º F

• Body Temperature on arrival 83º F

• Body Temperature after 18 minutes: 82º F

• Normal Frog body temperature: 101º F

• Witnesses reported seeing Pablo using parametric equations while trying to estimate his needed initial velocity to jump into Stu’s tank to grab a fishy snack. The following note was found in his bowl:

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What Happened: Pablo

While Pablo had a promising career at NASA, he failed to recognize the different units between his measurements and his gravitational constant. He should have used 32 ft/sec squared instead of the metric unit of 9.8 m/sec squared. His initial velocity was therefore off and he landed outside the bowl.

It took 189.553 minutes for someone to notice the smell.

Moral: WATCH YOUR UNITS!

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Case File: SNICKERS (DOG 1)

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Facts:

• Room Temperature: 70º F

• Body Temperature on arrival 98º F

• Body Temperature after 1 hour: 95º F

• Normal Dog body temperature: 102º F

• Found at the scene:

Recipe for yummy dog biscuits:

Ingredients:

1 egg

2 cups of flour

1 tsp of vanilla extract

[pic] tsp of rat poison

4 dashes of salt

Mix all ingredients and bake for 20 minutes. Enjoy! (

What happened: Snickers

Snickers was a great baker, but not the best mathematician. When adding in his ingredients, he added 1 tsp of rat poison. He mistakenly thought that since both “x’s” were raised to the 1st power, the function would go to one. He did not take in to account that e to the x is the fastest growing function and would soon outweigh x, thus creating a bottom heavy fraction that would approach 0. Snickers poisoned himself.

Snickers was found 70.696 minutes later when the smoke detector went off after the 2nd batch burned in the oven.

Moral: Never disrespect little ex by assuming it behaves like a polynomial.

Case File: YOGI

Facts:

• Room Temperature: 75 º F

• Body Temperature on arrival 90º F

• Body Temperature after 45 minutes: 85º F

• Normal Bear body temperature: 100º F

• Yogi was found dead. Next to his body were an empty box and a stack of a dozen cards. His girlfriend, Isabel was seen storming from the scene of the crime.

What happened: Yogi

Yogi thought it would be nice to give Isabel some roses for Valentine’s Day. Being a clever Calculus student he decided to give her a dozen Rose Curves. Unfortunately, he gave her a dozen Limacons that look like butts.

It took 56.693 minutes to find Yogi.

Moral: Rose by any other name may not smell as sweet.

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Case File: ROVER (DOG 2)

Facts:

• Room Temperature: 69º F

• Body Temperature on arrival 78º F

• Body Temperature after 9 minutes: 75º F

• Normal Dog body temperature: 102º F

• Rover was landing his new airplane when he crashed near the runway. He was approaching the runway from the west.

In the wreckage, investigators found the following note:

What happened: Rover

The control tower had instructed him to approach on a vector of 0-degrees and a speed of 300 mph. There was a 20 mph cross-wind at 30-degrees. To determine how to aim the plane he should have subtracted the wind vector from the approach vector. He added instead and missed the runway.

It took 28.840 minutes for emergency crews to recover the body.

Moral: Know which way the wind blows.

Case File: Harry Hare

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Facts:

• Surrounding Air Temperature: 72º F

• Body Temperature on arrival 90º F

• Body Temperature in a ½ hour: 87º F

• Normal Rabbit body temperature: 103º F

• The following scraps of paper were found clutched in Harry’s hand

What happened: Harry Hare

Harry Hare was tired of always losing the big race to Teddy Tortoise. He decided to try a new strategy this time. While Teddy would be jogging at a steady pace, Harry decided that with each stride he would cover half the remaining distance to the finish line. After just 2 steps, Harry had left Teddy in the dust and was already ¾ of the way to the finish line. Unfortunately, he forgot that limits are about approaching something, not actually getting there. While he got closer and closer to the finish line, he never actually reached it. Teddy passed him and won the race. Harry kept running until he died of exhaustion, 89.449 minutes before you arrived.

Moral: Know your limits… and then exceed them.

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