How to Plan the Perfect Party:
How to Plan the Perfect Party:
Anywhere . . . Anytime . . . And For Any Reason!
Table of Contents
Introduction
Page 3
Chapter 1: Why Party?
Page 7
Chapter 2: Step-by-Step Preparation
Page16
Chapter 3: Feeding Your Guests
Page 30
Chaper 4: Being the Perfect Host
Page 38
Chapter 5: Party Progression: Let's Keep the Party Moving
Page 49
Chapter 6: Party Planning on a Budget
Page 54
Chapter 7: Top 10 Theme Ideas
Page 54
Conclusion
Page 59
Appendix I
The Party Planning Checklist
Page 61
Appendix II
How Much Food To Prepare
Page 63
Introduction
I
can see the panic in your eyes already. They're as wide as a deer's caught in a car's headlights. You needn't fear this event. You needn’t run from it either.
Is that how you feel when you host a party? Panicky? Fearful? Ready to run out the back door the minute the front doorbell rings?
Are you thinking, as the guests file in, "Why in the world did I ever agree to this?"
Then this book was written with you in mind. I, too, used to avoid hosting parties. When someone even suggested that we just gather at my house for a drink or to play a board game, I'd find some excuse not to.
So you can imagine my horror when anyone would suggest that I actually host any type of real party.
The mere act of avoidance just became irritating after a while. So when I was volunteered to host a small group of people for an informal get together, I swallowed my pride (and my heart!) and said yes.
And then began the dreaded countdown to the event.
But you know what?
It wasn't nearly as horrendous as I thought it would be. In fact, my guests seemed to genuinely enjoy themselves. So that gave me the courage to do it again.
That was several years ago. And look at me today, ready -- and even eager -- to host one, anytime, anywhere and for any reason.
Why not just try embracing it and going with the moment? It may sound daunting and intimidating now, but once you delve farther into the process of party planning, armed with the proper information, there'll be no party you would fear to host, guaranteed!
Don't get me wrong. Entertaining can indeed be hard work. And developing a bit of "host anxiety" as I've heard it called is a good thing -- it keeps you alert. After all, what professional stage actor doesn't experience a bit of anxiety before he steps in front of an audience?
Don't try to start out large, though. Test the waters -- and your confidence by hosting a small informal gathering. Invite those who know you the best, you'll feel at ease because of it. And the party will flow quite nicely.
How to Use This Book Wisely
This book is filled to the brim with ideas . . . hints . . . suggestions for creating a party in which your friends will feel at ease, have fun and be talking about the "event" for weeks afterward.
My, if the party is truly successful, they'll be questioning when you'll be holding your next one.
Go ahead and dig in. Use this book in any way you believe it'll help you to be a better host . . . throw a thoroughly enjoyable party where all the guests have a great time . . . and you, too, feel at ease enough to enjoy yourself.
To that end, you may want to read the entire book once. Then depending on your questions or type of party you're hosting, return to various parts of the eBook as you plan.
This book covers just about every aspect of party planning one could imagine. Chapter 1 starts out by asking that age-old philosophical question: Why party?
The subtext to that question: For what purpose are you creating this gathering? Answer that question and much of your party plans take a natural course of their own, as you'll soon see.
Chapter 2 delves into the step-by-step detailed planning that absolutely necessary to make your party successful and . . . well, ironically enough, effortless. If you plan sufficiently ahead of time, you'll look as if you pulled it all together with a mere wiggle of your nose.
Follow these great suggestions and time lines and you'll be assured that your guests will have a great time!
Common questions many would-be hosts ask me deal with food. What's best to serve? How much to serve? How do I serve. Or the question I love: "Look at these two forks! They're different sizes! When do you use one or the other?"
To discover the ins and outs of feeding your guests, turn to Chapter 3. I'll not only tell you how much food to plan (neatly outlined in a table in an appendix in the back of the book), but I'll even give you tips on how to serve your guests.
Follow these directions and your guests will never ever believe that at the beginning of the planning process you ever doubted yourself!
Once you have a handle on the nuts and bolts of party planning, you need to give some thought -- even before the party begins -- on what it takes to be a good host. Yes, it's more than just laying out a great spread or bringing a good group of people together.
To discover what it takes to be a good host, just turn to Chapter 4. You'll learn that your duties as host begin even before the first guest steps through that door. But don't worry, once you learn the basics -- which are easy to handle -- you'll walk into the job like it was created just for you. Guaranteed.
Part of the very important duties of host is making sure that the party keeps moving. Every party needs a flow and as host it's your job to supply it. Just check out Chapter 5 to discover how to keep any party from getting stuck in one room or revolving around one (usually boring) person!
Well, just when you think we've covered all the aspects of The Perfect Party, we've added one more element: Party planning on a budget.
If you want to throw a fabulous party, but think that it's beyond your budgetary constraints, Chapter 6 will absolutely change your mind. Check it out to discover how you can make your guests feel like a million bucks without spending a fortune.
And finally, the last chapter gives you some creative ideas about throwing a "theme" party. These parties -- which can be some of the most memorable your guests will ever attend -- can be easily (and many times quite economically) created. You have to review these. Feel free to use any of these ideas. Or perhaps these suggestions will get you thinking in even more creative directions.
But, that's not all that's in this book. I've included two "must-read" appendices. The first is really a "must-use" appendix. It provides you with a pre-party planning check list to keep you right on track from the moment of creation till the time that first guest walks through that door.
The second appendix is a food calculator. Now, you don't have to guess about the amount of food you need to buy for your party. This chart at least gives you a ballpark figure to work with!
Now, what are you waiting for? It's time to plan a party -- with flair!
Chapter 1:
Why Party?
W
hy party? Well, to have a good time, of course! That, indeed, is the stereotypical "frat boy" approach to partying. But, that's not the real question being asked here. The real question goes just a little bit deeper than that. What is the purpose of your gathering?
Is it to celebrate someone's birthday? Commemorate an anniversary? Mark a significant milestone? Or perhaps it's just to bring your closest friends together?
You get the idea. Why you're throwing the party will inevitably help shape and structure it as well.
Unique, yet the same.
That's the mantra you need to keep in mind as you plan this event. Perhaps you've been tasked with hosting a small event commemorating the retirement of one of your colleagues. Why did they ask you? They choose you because someone recalled that great small gathering you held at your house several months ago.
That's fine you think. But a small gathering of close friends is easy to plan. A retirement party? That's a bit different.
Yes and no. Obviously, no two parties are alike -- each with its distinct purpose and direction. But when you scratch the surface of a party they all have elements that are the same.
A cocktail party usually has this Yoda-like advice stuck to it: small enough so everyone can sit or large enough to those standing don't feel awkward.
And depending on where you're hosting the event, that's about as specific as anyone can get. But most "event planners" will go one step further and help to decipher the mathematical algorithm behind the sage advice.
For a cocktail party where you'll have people sitting and standing around mingling, professional event planners tell us to allow four to five square feet per person. When counting your space, don't count the total space in a room. Only your available space. You just can't include room used by large pieces of furniture that can't be moved.
Since it is a "cocktail" party, you'll obviously need to set up a bar. You can easily use a table for this -- with a nice tablecloth on top. It goes without saying you'll also need a nice variety of liquor, wine beer and yes, even nonalcoholic drinks.
Not only will you need these to use as mixers with the liquor, but you need to consider what any guests who don't drink alcohol -- or those designated drivers -- may be drinking.
You'll also want to be well stocked in ice as well as appropriate glassware and a few essential bar tools. Later on, I show you a quick and easy method for determining just how much alcohol you'll need for your party. It's really simple, I promise!
Cocktail parties usually last for about two hours. Most of them start either at 5 or 6 p.m.
The Dinner Party
Ah yes, the dreaded dinner party! This type of event can send chills down the spine of even the most experienced of party planner. But you needn't approach it with such trepidation. You'll discover that it can be a wonderful vehicle for people to get to know each other -- and enjoy, hopefully, some very good food in the process.
Are you cooking and serving this party yourself? Then you should seriously consider limiting your guest list to 10 individuals --- no more. If you invite any more guests than ten, then you need to re-evaluate your options. You either need to turn the "dinner party" into a buffet, or hire a caterer to cook and serve for you.
You don't want to add any more stress than necessary to your planning. After all, the day of the party, the time of the party, you want to have a good time too! Remember, and if you're having a good time, this reflects in your guests ability to enjoy themselves as well.
The Buffet
If you're contemplating a long guest list and you want to serve food at your party, then consider hosting a buffet. Much of the preparation can be done in advance. Not only that, but the food service aspect of the buffet is less "labor intensive" than for the average sit down meal.
The only area you must be careful to ensure: Every guest has a place to sit while eating.
The requirements for this type of party are relatively easy as well. All you need is wine and beer as well as nonalcoholic beverages. If you want, you may serve cocktails, but with the buffet style, they're not expected or necessary.
You will also need hot plates or chafing dishes if you're going to serve hot food, as well as professional help to staff them.
You'll also need a sufficient quantity of serving platters, plates, silverware as well as glassware for all of your guests, as well as a large table for the food and a smaller table for drinks.
This kind of party can work when held at any time during the day. You can host a brunch, lunch or a dinner in buffet style. No matter what time you plan your party, you should allot approximately three hours for it.
This type of party is especially good for a holiday or a housewarming open house party. In each of these, you can assume the flow of guests will be staggered. So feel free to invite more people than you would for a traditional buffet.
Oh, I see! There's no expressed special purpose for this party. You're really not celebrating anyone's birthday . . . not commemorating an anniversary . . . not even a housewarming or a going away party.
You merely want to throw a party for the sake of having a few friends over to have a good time. Good for you! But, you're not quite sure where to start. Actually, you say, that's an understatement. You're at a complete loss.
What type of party would
you feel comfortable hosting?
Not to worry! I've got you covered. Let's start with picking your brain a little and see what you've liked and disliked at past parties. Because this is your chance to create the party of your dreams (and hopefully your guests as well).
Today, just about anything goes when it comes to themed parties. Of course, you'll still find yourself to some extent asking all the previous questions: am I serving food? How much and what kind of serving plan, a sit-down dinner or a buffet?
But, the ultimate question is what type of party do you think you'd be most comfortable hosting. If the thought of throwing 8 of your closest friends together at one table for any period of time send you running for cover . . . perhaps the sit-down dinner isn't a good choice.
If, on the other hand, you love to cook and wouldn't mind a few more guests -- as long as they don't mind serving themselves -- then the buffet style is more to your suiting.
Choosing a theme
Now you get to pick your theme. And if you can conceive it, you can probably carry it out. Yeah, it's a lot like in that movie, Field of Dreams: "If you build it, they will come!"
The key to remember about party planning is actually quite simple: Plan the event around your talents, desires and style. If you do this, the party just has to be fun and a big success.
The only exception to this rule is if you're hosting a party to celebrate the birthday or accomplishment of another person. Then the party theme no doubt revolves around him.
You may be planning a party to commemorate a birthday of an older person -- let's say your 92-year-old grandfather who is still in amazing health.
What are his interests? What did you do as young man? What are some of the changes he saw as he aged? This opens up the party to several theme ideas, from a "20th Century party” -- showing the changes that occurred in his life to a more family-oriented theme.
With that in mind, here are some questions you should ask yourself before you decide on the type of party you're planning.
1. What type of parties have you had the most fun at?
2. How do you like to entertain? In a formal or informal setting?
3. How many people can your home handle. Is it a large group, or only a small group?
4. How many people do you prefer to entertain at one time?
5. Is this party for no apparent reason other than to have a good time? Or is it in celebration of a holiday or birthday or other event?
6. Who do you anticipate to make up your guest list, friends . . . family or both?
7. Do you truly enjoy themed parties?
Now the ideas should be gelling a little in your mind on which way you'll be going with this party. No doubt, the themes from which you can choose are limited only by your own imagination.
But here are some ideas to kick-start that imagination of yours. These are only the "tamed" of theme parties. I've known friends to go crazy with these types of ideas. And why not?
• Barbeque cook out
• Gag gift exchange
• Dinner and a movie
• Pool party
• Potluck party
• Victory party for your sports team
• Raise-money-for favorite-charity
• Scavenger hunt
• Progressive party
• Block party
• Moving party
• 1950s theme (or 60s . . . . or you get the idea!)
• Academy awards party
• Theme planned around your favorite book or movie
• Themed party planned around a fable or fairy tale
• Costume party
• Dinner-murder mystery
Of course, this short list doesn't even begin to do the topic of themes justice. But it will get your creative juices flowing in the right direction.
Where will the party be held?
Now that you're beginning to narrow down a theme, you need to decide the location of the event? If you have enough room in your home and would like to host it there, great.
But maybe you don't want to go through all the necessary preparation for a home-based party. When you hold your party at home, you not only have to plan the party itself, but you have to work in time and energy to ensure your home is clean (and in my case, lots of energy goes into this), and is capable of holding the number of people you're planning on inviting.
This really shouldn't be too difficult of a decision. In visualizing the success of your party -- and its theme -- you probably have a fairly good idea of the location already. You just need to firm up a few details, that's all.
How many people?
This is actually two questions in one. The first asks how many people can the location you have in mind accommodate? The second asks how many people are you planning on inviting?
Don't continue on step forward if you know without a doubt that you plan on inviting more than the location you have in mind can handle. You may think that if you invite 40 but you really have your heart set on a place that can only hold 20 that somehow it will all work out . . . it probably won't.
When you do this, you're really only asking for disaster. So either trim back on your tentative guest list or choose a location that can accommodate more people.
How much can you afford to pay?
If you plan on hosting your party at a location other than your home, discover how much the rental is. Be realistic. Can you afford this fee and still afford all the supplies and accessories you'll need to carry off the party as you envision it?
Now's not the time to start lying to yourself, thinking you can handle this. If you're doing this, you're only headed for disaster, with a capital "D."
Do you want in an outdoor or indoor venue?
And if you do have it outside, what are your plans should the weather not cooperate with you? All valid questions that you'll eventually need to supply answers to.
Is this location conducive to the theme you're developing?
Does the park or hall lend itself to the type of decorating you have in mind for your theme? Or will it require some real work to get the location prepared? Maybe there's a location that's more suited to your creative ideas?
This is a valid point. If you're not sure, ask among family and friends to see if they’ve ever planned a party at this location. Do they think the theme you're planning could possibly be carried out here?
Will your guests have room to park?
This is one of those "practical" questions that might not come to mind in the throes of your creativity. But trust me, if you don't think about it now, you'll be rudely confronted with it on party day. It's better to think ahead now!
Does the location you're considering allow alcoholic beverages?
If you're planning on serving alcohol, then you need to get that clear when you're renting the location. If the proprietors say no, don't even think you can sneak some in. Simple say, "Thanks but no thanks." Then go back to the drawing board to search another location.
Now that you know what you're searching for in a party location, just imagine all the places you may actually be able to host it? Just to give you an idea, I've listed some for you. Perhaps one of these locations, can help you choose a theme too!
Have you ever really thought about throwing a party in a museum? Give it some thought?
• Ranch
• Country Club
• Castle
• Zoo
• Banquet hall
• Restaurant
• Church hall
• Skating rink
• Garden
• Houseboat
• Park
• Conference center
• Winery
• The local pool
• The beach
• Art gallery
• Bowling alley
• Community theater
And wouldn't the bowling alley be the perfect place for a '50s party for adults? And that's only the beginning of the ideas I bet are popping into your mind as you read these possible locations.
But not only that, you may also be forming a guest list even as write just by thinking about these different themes.
Go ahead! Have fun with all of this. After all that's what it's all about!
In the next chapter, I'll show you how to get your act together before the party begins, so you can enjoy yourself on the day of your big event.
Chapter 2:
Step-by-Step Preparation
By being prepared, you'll going to appear as if you're at ease (because you are!), you're going to enjoy yourself as well, and your guests will ultimately be talking about your party for months! This chapter shows you there's more -- much more -- to party planning than meets the eye.
T
he key to any successful party is being prepared. Ask any successful host how she accomplished such a successful party -- whether it's a cocktail party or a children's birthday party -- and she'll tell you in one word: Details. And indeed that’s Details with a capital "D".
While this whole book is obviously aimed at "planning" your next party, which implies being prepared, this chapter is probably the most important. It presents step-by-step, in detailed form, how to prepare for the event.
One of the biggest questions most people have concerns timing. Just when do I start preparing?
And that's a good question! The answer, in large part, depends on the time of the year it's scheduled. If your party is planned around a major holiday then give yourself a full month -- four weeks -- to pull it together.
You'll also need four weeks if you plan on renting any accessories or equipment for the party too.
Otherwise, two weeks should suffice if your plans are less complicated.
The only time you can prepare for a party in a week is if it's a potluck party, where everyone brings a dish to share. That takes quite a bit of pressure off of you as the host.
All the details I'm describing in this chapter may not apply to your specific party. But you can sift through those that do. This gives you a fair idea of when you need to begin taking care of these tasks.
Thinking . . . and planning two to four weeks ahead
The first thing you need to do is create a budget. You'll need a realistic idea of how much you plan to spend. This is important. You'd hate to come up three days prior to the party, realize you need an important item only to discover you've spent all your money for the week.
A budget doesn't mean you have to be "cheap." It just means you need to know how much you're planning on spending.
Your second task is to create a guest list. The size of it of course depends on the type of party you're creating and the purpose of the event as well.
So you know the type of party you're hosting. Now it's time to create a guest list. The length of your guest list depends on the type of party you host.
If you're hosting a dinner party in which all the guest sit at the same table at the time, put quite a bit of thought into who you'll include.
Let's visualize the scene. Each of your guests is sitting at the table, elbow to elbow from the serving of the appetizer and salad to the dessert and coffee.
Now, you may think that if you invite all the brilliant conversationalists you know, you'd have a great party. But if you do that, who would listen?
Include both individuals who can start a conversation at the drop of a hat, by all means. But also include an equal amount of good listeners as well. This gives you a great blend of talkers and listeners
As you draw up your guest list, you'll naturally include individuals who you find interesting. But you must also consider if your guests will find them interesting as well. I know not all of my friends share my interest in metaphysical topics, nor do all my friends even think internet marketing is remotely interesting. So I wouldn't include these friends if the bulk of my guest list is made of either group.
It's best to have a well rounded mix of guests, with interests and backgrounds. If one of your guests think the person to her left is a bore (being completely blunt about it) she can always turn to the right to start a conversation with him.
The other quality of a good guest list is it incorporates both couples and single individuals. After you create the list, check it again. If your list only includes one single person amid a sea of married couples, then cross him off the list. You don't want him to feel like awkward.
The "daring" guest list
When you're creating the guest list for either a cocktail party or a buffet, you can be a bit more daring in your choices. In these situations, don't be afraid to mix it up a bit. I've found that this is the perfect setting to invite not only very old, trusted friends, but those people I'd like to get to know better. Not only do I enjoy myself this way, but those attending also seem to enjoy the diversity of interests.
Since no one is "trapped" sitting at a table next to the same people all evening long -- like at a sit-down meal -- people can mingle with more freedom to seek out those they find interesting.
Don't wait till the day of the party to realize that you may have trouble juggling the duties of host . . . caterer . . . babysitter . . . and any of the tasks that are involved in your style party.
Visualize your party, and think through all the real needs of the event and be realistic. Don't be afraid to ask close friends and relatives to help ahead of time. What's the worst that could happen? They may find that they're not as busy as you anticipated them to be and they can abandon their posts -- at least a portion of the individuals.
So exactly what do you put into an invitation?
The format of an invitation is basic -- even though they may come in a variety of shapes, sizes, and through a variety of media. A good invitation supplies your guests with everything they need to know in order to come on the right day, the right time, baring the essentials, and dressed properly.
Having said that, here are the major essential aspects of any good party invitation:
The purpose of the party.
Is it a birthday party? If so, for whom?
Is it an anniversary party?
Or just a "let's-get-together-to-have-fun" party?
The name of the honored guest.
The name of the host
Date of party
Time.
Location of party.
If you feel that some guests may not know how to get to the location, then include a map. This may be especially critical if you have out-of-town guests.
Do they need to bring anything?
If it's a potluck event, for example, you need to request them to bring something. With a potluck, it's an event just as the name implies. The guests know that the meal will be really a matter of "luck," depending on what everyone brings.
But if you want to eliminate some element of chance, you may want to assign at least categories of food to guests. For example, you could request a certain number of guests bring a dish that contains some type of meat. This could function as an entrée.
You may want so many other guests to bring various salads, or other side dishes and desserts.
But you know, much of the fun of a potluck, is just waiting to see what shows up on the table. Chances are without even assigning categories, you'll have a wide variety of food.
Also this would be the part of the invitation where you let them know if it's a "BYOB" party -- Bring Your Own Bottle. If alcoholic beverages are allowed on the premises, but you're not supplying them and you don't mind people bring their own . . . let them know in this manner.
The theme
If the party has a theme, specify that.
How to dress
Give them some idea of what to wear. Tell them if it's an outdoor picnic that shorts are acceptable. Informal? Jeans acceptable? In an earlier chapter we talked about what the difference are in formal and informal attire for the more structured parties.
If it's a costume party, you should let them know, as well. If costumes are optional, tell them this in the invitation as well.
The type of food being served.
Again, whether a lunch or supper will be supplied or whether cake and ice cream are just going to be served. This allows the guests to plan their meals. Some individuals may assume a meal will be served, when in fact it won't. Imagine coming to a party with a hearty appetite and only seeing snack foods!
Your contact information.
Include not only your telephone number, but your email address as well. These days, getting in touch with a person takes several forms. And for many people, zipping off an email is easier than placing a call.
Choose a location. Are you going to have the party at your home? Or are you going to hold it at another location . . . in a local hall . . . in a theme oriented location . . .
We've already talked about this is more detail in Chapter 1, when we talk about different themes for parties. You may want to read that portion of the chapter over again. This really is a piece of the planning you want to have in place before you get too involved in the detailed planning.
Another aspect you'll need to decide on two weeks ahead of time (or four weeks depending on the time of the year) is a menu. You'll want to choose appetizers, the entrée, all side dishes as well as desserts and beverages.
Send out invitations two weeks before the party. If the party is planned near a major holiday, you'll want to give your guests four weeks notice.
Are you planning on cooking the meal yourself? Do as much as this ahead of time. Right now, create a realistic timeline for the cooking.
Can you make something ahead of time and freeze it without sacrificing quality? If you can then, by all means go ahead and do it. Not only does this minimize your stress, it frees up valuable time you'll need for other tasks as party day gets closer.
You'll be surprised at how planning in detail this one item alone can take much of the worry out of the planning.
If the event is to be potluck and you're not creating the entire meal, it's not too early to assign what guests are bring which dishes. There are two reasons for this. First, you already know what to expect - and they'll be no duplication in dishes. But beyond that it's a courtesy to your guests.
Now if they wanted can plan ahead of time, they are now able make the meal, freeze it and be worry free the day or two before their visit.
Don't wait to rent vital items!
This is also the time you order any rental items, like plates, cups, coffee urns, chairs . . . need I go on?
This action is especially vital to take early if you're planning your party during a major holiday. If you wait too long you may just find that the items you had planned on aren't available on that date. Then you're in real trouble.
Were you considering hiring temporary help for the kitchen, serving or bartending for the party?
If you need to this time period -- two to four weeks prior to the event -- would be the perfect time.
Two weeks before the party date
Your party is two weeks away. There are three steps you need to take to help prepare you. First, if you're not renting any of the silverware or glasses or other serving pieces, now's the time to assess what you have.
You need to make sure you have enough of everything. If you don't, you still have to seek out rentals or find friends or relatives who do.
If you're giving party favors to guests, this would be the time to start assembling them. This is also the period in which you begin to put together any party music, games you may be planning or any other entertainment for the evening.
One week . . . and counting!
It's one week till party day . . . oh, but then who's counting? Oh, yes, you're absolutely counting! Nervous? Ah, that's normal. But as long as you've been preparing during this time period, you're going to be fine.
You only have three tasks this week. The first is to review your menu preparation timeline. Make sure you're on the mark with where you thought you would be.
Do you need to play "catch up" with any the items? If you need to make some portion of the meal and store it in the freezer, now's the time to do it. If you wait any longer, you really run into a time crunch . . . and a huge stressor.
Secondly, purchase your non-perishable items for the meals this week. Not only that, but purchase anything you may need. Think any candles you may want to use or if you need firewood or any accessories for the party.
Now we have three days to go!
The party date is creeping up on you. Are you ready? Actually, you really are. There should be just a few items left to do on list. If you haven't done so already, and the party is being held at home, complete cleaning your house. There may be a few things around the house you'll save till the day before the event, but now would be a good time to do the general clean up and scrubbing!
Using your own silverware? If it's real silverware, this would be the perfect time to polish it. If nothing else, it'll help relieve you of some of that nervous energy!
Now, we're getting closer . . . and closer . . .
Two days to go!
The party is only two days away. You can do several diverse tasks to get you feeling as if you have everything under control (because, yes, basically you do!). Go ahead. Now's the perfect time to go buy your fresh meats. Plug your digital camera in; get it charged up. (There's nothing worse than thinking the batteries have enough life in them . . .)
If you still have some nervous energy you'd like to disperse, then check out your wine glasses or other glassware. This is the perfect time to give them a final wash.
Wow! Can you believe it?
One day to go!
'Twas the night before the party and all through the house, you can hear the host pacing, irritating his spouse. (My apologies to Clement Clarke Moore!)
It's the day before the big party. You're pacing like a caged animal. Instead of wasting all that energy by worrying, why not prepare a few things in advance?
Surprised? Did you really think that the muses of the party realm wanted you to wait till the day of the party to do everything? Hey, there are a quite a few tasks you can check off your list the day before the party.
Below are just a few of those. If you can think any another else that pertains specifically to your party, forge ahead with it. Anything -- anything at all -- that lessens your anxiety on the big day should be done a day ahead of time.
If it's a sit-down dinner, set the table. This is just one less interruption you'll have the day of the party itself.
Last minute housework. If you're hosting your party at your home, complete everything that needs done in the way of housework the day prior to the party. I have this recurring nightmare that I'd be in the middle of cleaning on the big party day . . . get lost in time . . when the door bell rings.
I answer it, apron on, scruffy clothes underneath, only to find I totally lost track of time and my guests are already there.
Clean your refrigerator. What? Yeah, trust me on this one. Clear it of all the old stuff. This is done for two reasons. First, if your fridge looks anything like mine, it's a disaster. You'll be able to actually find the food you buy for the party -- and get to it easily.
And if your fridge is anything like mine, you just may have a few things dying way back there in a dark corner. It would be embarrassing to have someone else find it --- or smell it!
Now, you have room to do go shopping for all the perishable foods you'll need for tomorrow. Again, why rush around on party day, worried about the time, when you can finish your shopping the day before with a little less pressure.
If you're really pressed for time and you have this option, buy your groceries online and have them delivered. Now you don't even have to leave your home!
Another task you can perform the day prior to the party is to wash all your salad greens and herbs in cold water. Shake these dry then simply place them into polythene bags and refrigerate them. This keeps them fresh and crisp for about 24 hours.
Now here's an eye opening suggestion for you. Depending on the menu items you've chosen, you may even be able to do the bulk of the cooking and preparation the day before the party as well.
You do want to be careful in performing this task, however. The last thing you want to do is compromise the quality of your foods. But if you know without a doubt that cooking a specific item ahead of time will not affect its taste, go right ahead. Remember to do everything and anything that will take the pressure off of you the day of the party.
Go to the grocery store or farmer's market to buy your fresh produce.
Planning on using flowers? Today would be the day to buy them and arrange them.
Go ahead! I see you're dying to do it. Run that sweeper on more time! You'll also want to take out that dust cloth one more time.
Make time to go through all the bathrooms to make sure you're well stocked in everything your guests may need.
It's here!
Party Day!
Yes, it's finally here. So where do you start with your tasks. Well, today you run to the fish market to buy your fresh seafood. You also take delivery of any rental items you may need.
Buy any ice you'll need for the event, chill your beer supply and any wines that need it. Make the punch if you're having some.
Don't forget to garnish those party trays with fresh herbs, edible flowers and any fruit you'd intended. And put any "finishing touches" you may need on the decorations.
Wow! See why you need to keep on task during the two weeks before the party? With everything you did the weeks leading up to this day, you still have a full day today!
Now, if you can get your spouse or children to do some of the running . . . pick up the rental items or buy the ice . . . by all means have them do these things. It'll save you time and stress!
Now, eat something light quickly. Take a shower, get dressed . . . put some music on and start having a great time!
General Tips On Creating the Perfect Party!
One of the most important aspects of any party -- and this just doesn't pertain to adult parties -- is ensuring there's enough room in your house to accommodate all of your guests.
Take a good look at the room or rooms you plan to host this event in. Realistic survey them, imagining them filled with the number of people you're planning on having.
Now ask yourself what needs to be done to ensure there's room for everyone. If you think you need the room, don't be afraid to move some of the larger pieces of furniture. Place this on your checklist. Then place a few names of trusted friends you can count on to help you accomplish this.
And don't wait till the last minute to ask them. Give them ample warning. Ask them well in advance if they would consider helping. If they agree, then tell them you'll call them or reminder them several days before you actually want the furniture move.
This isn't because you're afraid they'll try to back out. It's just a courtesy to remind them. It also gives you another chance to thank them for their help.
But don't leave this furniture moving for the day of the party. I don't care how good of a housekeeper you are, you're going to find plenty of surprises under that furniture, from dust bunnies to lost change to discarded and lost cheese puffs . . . and more!
Move the furniture . . .
But keep the warmth!
I'd just like to interject one precautionary note. Some people move the heavy furniture out of the way and also other, family oriented, decorating items as well. When they do this, they practically strip their house of any personality and warmth.
If you do this, you might as well hold the party in a banquet hall. Part of the charm and success of a party is the venue. And a home's nice added personal touches may help to make the party successful.
And now consider the outside of the house . . .
Yes, that's right! And I'm not just talking about cutting grass or pruning hedges. I'm talking about ensuring your guests can find the house. In making your house stand out, so to speak, you can also begin the welcoming process!
On the evening of the party, ensure that your house is well lit. This suggestion applies not only your doorstep or front porch or whatever door the guests enter through, but the walkway itself. A great and easy way to do this, if the walkway isn't already lighted is to use luminaries light.
If you have columns near your front door, string white lights around them. This adds a little festivity to your party. It also says that your guests are special enough to be treated to such decorating.
If you don't have columns, but railings, string the lights here.
Parking issues . . .
Don't need to be issues at all!
And while you're looking around outside with an eye to the party, just where do expect your guests to park? It's doubtful whether the driveway will hold all the cars.
Will it be alright if they park in your yard? Let them know ahead of time. If parking on the street is allowed, then just be sure you inform your neighbors, it's only a courtesy. Perhaps one or two of them may even offer their driveways for parking.
Enter! Enter!
There's nothing more awkward than entering a home, having a coat and not knowing what to do with it. Why not place a coat rack in the hallway or entrance on party day?
If you normally don't have one here, move one from another room. If you have move something to make it fit, that's alright. It's well worth the movement to make your guests feel at ease upon entering. An awkward moment here can easily carry over to the rest of the evening. And a party . . . well, it's all about enjoying yourself.
Chapter 3:
Feeding Your Guests
Sit down dinner (how do I handle that? Which fork is for what?), buffet or hors d'oeuvres, planning the actual food and making sure you have enough. It doesn't matter whether it's a pizza party or a sit down formal dinner for 15 -- the planning and prep are the same!
N
o, you're really not feeding an army. You're just a little overwhelmed right now at the thought of feeding anyone past yourself and your family. And that's to be expected.
If you're not a professional caterer -- or born with professional caterer genes -- it's difficult to gauge the amount of food a group of 10, 15, 20 or more will eat. Heck, sometimes it's difficult even for the professionals to do it with any type of accuracy.
Of course, your initial thoughts pop up as fears, I know mine did when I realized that part of party planning was . . . well, party eating. How could I possibly tell how much one person would eat? And then a man's portion of food differed from a woman's . . . a 85-year-old portion differed from a 25-year-old's.
Well, you can see right there the mess I "thought" myself into!
I'm here to tell you that planning the "meal" portion of your party is easy. Much easier than you'd ever imagine.
Let me clue you in on a few insights of meal-planning for adult parties first. These affairs fall into three distinct categories:
• Cocktail Party
• Sit-Down Dinner Party
• Buffet Style
The names of each of these accurately sum up the type of food you'll be serving. But we'll delve a little deeper into each. And while we're at we'll just mention how to create an environment conducive to making everyone comfortable.
First, the cocktail party . . .
Now, let's get down to your real concern, feeding the folks. The cocktail party, by definition, limits the food served to hors d'oeuvres only. These can be as simple -- or as elaborate -- as you care to serve.
And the real advantage of a cocktail party, when it comes to the menu, is that it really can be fun! You aren't serving one main meal -- but only a wide variety of finger foods. This means you can set out a selection of items. And even try a few "experiments" and still have plenty of conventional, "safe" food to satisfy everyone.
Your first goal in menu planning is to incorporate a variety of foods in your selection. You're obviously going to plan a few different meats, but also seafood.
Plan on serving finger foods, as well as some canapés and even consider several hot and cold dishes.
Candies or mints are not typically part of the cocktail party menu, you may want to bring several dishes of candy out towards the end of the party. This signals to your guests that the event will be wrapping up soon (See how much confidence I have in you. I'm sure you're guests are going to linger because they're enjoying themselves!).
So just how do you decide how much food to present? There's actually an easy guideline. Plan on serving about six bites per person, per hour for a two hour party.
I see you looking at those dips. What in the world is a bite? For those dips and cheeses you're serving, one ounce is usually considered "one bite."
So, if you're hosting a cocktail party for 10 people and it's scheduled for two hours, then you can plan on serving 120 hors d'oeuvres.
How much alcohol should I buy?
Here's another basic consideration of party planning. And it puzzles, sometimes, even veteran hosts. But there are a few guidelines to help you develop an accurate estimate of that you'll need.
Your first consideration is the time of day of the party. A cocktail party held in the evening hours between 5 and 6 p.m. requires more liquor than a similar event than an early afternoon party.
Secondly, take into account the type of alcohol the guests drink. If you associate with a group of budding wine connoisseurs, then you'll emphasize the wine.
If your friends prefer beer over anything else, then you'll be stocking up more on beer.
But always be sure to have at least a little of each category for varying tastes - and the inevitably person who decides to drink something different for a change of pace.
Calculating the amount
Gauging the amount of liquor again falls into one of those mathematical algorithms or formulas. Assume that for the first hour of the party, each guest drinks two servings. Then for every hour after plan on one drink per person.
Going back to our 10-person, two hour cocktail party. You'll want to estimate 20 drinks for the first hour (2 drinks for the 10 guests) plus another 10 for the second hour. That makes a total of 30 drinks.
Again, I can see the concern in your eyes. You're thinking specifically about your Uncle George, who can down a six pack of beer in less time than it takes to tie his shoes in the morning.
But then again, consider your other guests, especially your co-worker. She really doesn't drink. She may have one -- two drinks at most. So it should all balance out.
But, if you're really worried, take another hard look at your guest list. If you feel that this estimate won't be enough, then have a little more alcohol on hand – it’s not as if a lot of it is going to go bad on you. Just remember though, the point of the party is to mingle and talk. No one should be sitting down, drinking like the government is re-establishing Prohibition tomorrow.
And now I know what your next question is, too. So how many drinks can I get out of that bottle of scotch? And for that answer, I've simply supplied you with a chart. It covers all the major categories of drink. You should be able to estimate your needs.
|Type of Alcohol |Size |Serving Size |Number of Servings |
|Wines |Fifth |5 oz |5 |
| |(760ml=25.4 oz. | | |
| |Magnum |5 oz. |10 |
| |1.5L=50.7 oz | | |
|Champagne |Fifth |4 oz |6 |
| |Magnum |4 oz |12 |
|Whiskey, Rum, Scotch, etc. |Fifth |1.5 oz jigger |16 |
| |1.75L=59.2 oz |1.5 oz jigger |39 |
|Beer |½ keg |12 oz |168 |
| |¼ Keg |12 oz |84 |
| |1/5 Keg |12 oz |56 |
At a loss for what type of alcohol to serve?
Don't be shy! If you get the opportunity, ask some of your guests beforehand what their favorite drinks are. This way you'll be sure to have them on hand.
As a general rule of thumb, light wines, wine spritzers fruit flavored frozen drinks and Champagne go well with a brunch or luncheon. If your party is later in the day -- like the early evening -- then you can serve a wider variety of drinks.
Do mixed drinks make you dizzy? No, not necessarily when you drink them, but the thought of preparing them. If you have a friend who knows his way around a bar, you may want to ask him to be the bartender for the event. If not, and you really don't have a clue . . . don't hesitate to hire a professional bartender. It really won't cost as much as you think.
The sit-down dinner.
Nothing could be more intimidating for some people than hosting a sit- down dinner. It appears as if there are so many rules and regulations. First, take a deep breath. We'll get you through this. And there are really not as many "laws" about this as you may guess.
Even before we cover those etiquette laws, let's talk some about what food you're planning on serving at your party. Of course, you need to take into consideration the entire atmosphere you're about to create with your party.
What you serve . . .
And the number of guests you invite.
Let's talk first about the number of guests you've invited. Believe it or not, this does influence the type of food you serve. If you're inviting, let's say, a large group of people, you really don't want to choose an elaborate menu. The simpler the better. You do realize some of the most wonderful tasting meals are the simplest?
A great example of this was a dinner party hosted by a friend of mine. She thought it would be awesome to create some Chinese dumplings. So she rolled and filled these things . . . and rolled and filled . . . and rolled and filled.
The bottom line is that she had a wonderful idea if she had kept her guest list to six or under. But she had an expanded guest list. Her "fun and funky" idea as she originally called it turned into a nightmare.
It's much better to keep the menu simple and delicious than elaborate and mediocre!
What? Food talks?
In a way, yes, food does talk. The food you serve sets the tone in many ways for the party. What is the purpose of your party? Is to impress work colleagues or potential clients?
Or are you throwing an informal gathering for a few close friends?
Whether you realize it or not, you'll instinctively select different menus for these two parties.
You're far more likely to try a new meal out on a group of close friends. If the menu doesn't work out well, you all have something to talk about -- and laugh over -- for years to come.
Trying something a little more daring in a menu (if you're preparing it yourself) when you're entertaining potential clients may only contribute to you losing a contract!
Do your menu ideas fit your space?
Let's put it this way, you live in a small apartment with a small dining room. You're packing people side by side as they sit by your pint-size dining room table. This is not the time to present a 9 course Dickens-style English Christmas. Where in the world would you put the food?
It would be much better to go with a simpler themed party, one that doesn't require a lot of room for food!
How much are you willing -- or can you -- spend?
Ah, yes, it does occasionally come down to this, cost! Don't plan on an elaborate meal if your pocketbook can't follow through with it. Rather keep it simple and delicious -- and inexpensive.
And while this may seem obvious, it's really all too easy to get "over-ambitious" when you start planning your menu.
Let's start the sit-down dinner off by making sure the guest of honor is properly seated. The host, that's you, is always seated to the right of the guest of honor. And the guest of honor is always, always served first.
There, no that part wasn't so bad, was it? Beyond that, it's also pretty simple to remember. Once you have the guest of honor served his meal, the serving continues with the person on his left being served next. This means the host inevitably is served last.
Food should be served from the left of the guest and cleared from the right of the guest.
If there are less than eight people involved in the party sitting together, no one eats until the host gets served. If, however, the number at the table is rather large, guests may begin eating after four or five of them have been served.
Before serving dessert, all dinner, salad and butter plates should be removed, as should the salt and pepper shakers and condiment dishes.
The dessert plate should already include a dessert fork when it's being served. And the fork should be on the left of the plate. If the dessert requires a spoon, this accompanies the dessert plate on the right side.
But as you well know, food is only a portion of the elements being served at a dinner party. Many of these events also serve alcoholic beverages. Now, before you go screaming out of the room because you're party-planning brain is on overload, simply read below.
This will give you some control over the situation, guaranteed!
What alcoholic beverages to serve
at a sit-down dinner?
Now here's where you get your chance to serve some wines and liqueurs. By the way, a liqueur is not a fancy pronunciation and spelling of liquor (okay, so I once thought that). I'm sure you're aware that a liqueur is a distilled alcoholic beverage to which a sweetener and one or more aromatic flavorings have been added. Some of the more popular of these flavorings are peach, coffee, cocoa, almond and orange.
Chapter 4:
Being the Perfect Host
So much more than meets the eye! From the moment your guests walk through the door to the moment they leave -- and even before the party starts, being a host is more than just opening your house up for people to drop by!
O
h, yes! As you're about to find out being the perfect host of your party involves more -- much more -- than merely laying out the table with food, providing your guests with a few drinks, then crossing your fingers and hoping it all turns out well.
If it were that easy, you'd see many more people hosting events.
But even at that, it's not really as difficult as some people would have you believe. There are really no ground rules . . . just lots of suggestions.
Pre-party duties
What? My duties begin even before the people walk through the door.
Of course. In many ways every step you take in planning your party is a "pre-party" host duty. And from what I've seen you're coming along just fine. We'll just touch on a few more "pre-party" duties. Before you know it, you'll be waiting for those guests to be ringing your doorbell.
If you have just about everything in place when the guests arrive, you're definitely already adopting "the perfect host" syndrome. Congratulations.
Above and beyond any other duty, it's your duty to have a good time. If you don't enjoy yourself at your own party, there's no way you can expect anyone else to.
So just loosen up and enjoy the moment. Don't worry if you make a slight faux pas here and there. Most of your guests will never notice it. They'll notice, however, whether you're enjoying yourself. They're also notice if you're nervous or on edge. And those emotions will ripple through the party faster than you can say "Let's skip a stone on the pond."
You, as host, are in a very fundamental way the "decider" of the mood. If you've never hosted an event before, you're about to find out how your mood affects your party.
Do you need a co-host?
Don't blaze that party trail alone. Really! Don't even hesitate to include a co-host or two . . . or three . . . depending on the size of your party or the amount of time you have in a day.
It may be somebody as obvious as your husband, or boyfriend. Or you may enlist the services of your best friend. I'd suggest you garner the services of your mother (as I recently heard one party planning expert suggest) but that sounds like an explosion waiting to happen to me. Use your judgment on that one. And good luck!
If you're going to ask someone help you plan then search for someone to complement your talents. If you're not good with details, then choose someone who is.
If you're not familiar with the etiquette of a dinner party, think about asking for help from someone experienced in that area.
Another pre-party task is to know about your guests before they walk through your door. Now, granted, you're going to know a lot about those guests who are already your friends. But, there are going to be some you may not be too sure about.
And to be a good host, know ahead of time some things about your guests you may not have known -- like their favorite drinks, their favorite snacks . . . even their likes and dislikes at the dinner table.
It's difficult to plan a menu that pleases everyone one-hundred percent. However, let's say, you know that Bill, who's attending just hates chicken -- and you're serving chicken. You can graciously add one of his favorite side dishes so that he can eat more of that than the chicken.
Or you may want to offer a second alternative of a beef roast and have your guests choose. This may mean a little more work, but if you know ahead of time who would like want, the actual preparation is fairly easy.
Is there a vegan in the house? If one or two of your guests are vegans -- that is, vegetarians in the strictest sense -- then make accommodations for them at the meal. You may make sure that one of the side dishes is a hearty meatless casserole, so they can leave the table just as satisfied as the meat-eaters.
Speaking of guests . . .
All the great hosts seem to have a talent and a gift for creating the perfect guest list. Creating just the right mix of people is the backbone of any great party.
And how do you exactly go about doing this?
For starters, think about all aspects of your guests. For example, don't invite one lone unmarried single person if the everyone else is coming as married couples or serious romantic couples.
Try to keep the mix of married and unmarried relative stable. The same with the mix of men and women. If you have one lone gentleman on your guest list surrounded by women, he may feel uncomfortable.
On the other hand, don't plan the invitation list with "matchmaking" in mind. First, most people don't like to be placed on the spot like that. Secondly, it can be embarrassing -- for you and your guests -- if the atmosphere of the party is that of an evening of speed dating.
In the perfect party world . . .
You're going to be totally prepared, hand on the doorknob waiting for the bell to ring forty-five minutes to an hour before the start of the party. Any professional party planner will tell you that.
Let me tell you that's in the abstract party world. Reality has a way of hitting a host square in the time-warp continuum. You'll be dressed alright -- because I've already told you about my recurring nightmare.
But guaranteed, there will be some small task or two (okay maybe three or four) that you have yet to take care of.
So when the first guest rings that bell and you're looking for a way to break the ice . . . well, have him or her do just that. He can fill the ice bucket for the bar or other small duties.
This serves two essential tasks. The first is that it helps to make your first guest feel more at home and comfortable. And it relieves you of some of those duties you just didn't get to yet.
And on my part it has served as a nice transition from your pre-host duties to your hosting duties.
Let the party begin . . .
As guest begin to file in, be sure not only to greet them warmly but to offer them drinks, appetizers and hors d'oeuvres. Anything you can do at the very beginning to make them feel more comfortable will help to ensure that continued feeling as the evening goes on.
Some hosts go so far as to have a tray of drinks ready for his guests when he answers the door. This might be a bit much. It might be a nice touch if it were summer. But it could become a bit of a balancing act for all in the winter time. The first thing most guests want to do is to take their coats off.
You may want to have a "junior host" in charge of coats. If you don't have coat rack large enough to hold all the guests outerwear, seek out a pre-teen volunteer who can collect the shedded coats as the party-goers take them off at the door. She or he can then directly to a bedroom and place them gently on a bed.
Of course, there's no need to tell the perfect host that you are, that a few introductions to other guests should be issued upon the arrival of new ones. Don't force the newly met folks into a strained conversation, but a quick introduction is great.
If you happen to know that they work in similar industries or share similar hobbies that could kick off a conversation naturally, then by all means mention this shared interest. Let them take it from there. It could provide hours of conversation, but at the very least it serves as an ice breaker.
Don't hide in the kitchen!
And if you think that the perfect host spends all his time in the kitchen or behind the scenes "hiding" (you know exactly who you are and what I mean) you're wrong . . . dead wrong. And that's the type of party you'll end up with a dead one.
Get out there and mix and mingle with the best of them! Make it your goal to talk to each and every guest. The more you move from conversation to conversation, the more your guests will mingle as well.
If you feel as if you're going to be at a total loss of how to break the ice with your guests, then use what I call "cheaters." These are small manufactured devises created especially to stimulate guests to walk around some or to spur conversation.
What do I mean?
Start with small disposable cameras. Ask the guests to take pictures as the evening goes on. Then when they've finished a camera, have them place it in a basket already designated as the "used camera basket."
You can then get these developed and placed on line. Your guests will have a great time taking the pictures and enjoy looking at the pictures after the event.
Another cheater helps to stimulate conversation at the dinner table. This is especially helpful if you have a list of guests who may not know each other very well. There are several such tricks out on the market, but the one I've used for years and years is called "Table Topics."
These are cards that feature fun, topic-provoking questions. And yes, they really do work. I was worried that they would be lame. But they have produced some of the most sparkling, engaging conversations at the dinner parties I've hosted.
As the evening continues, be aware of the small gestures you can make to help your guests feel more comfortable. If the weather turns chilly for example and everyone is on the patio offer warm socks for those who are wearing sandals. You may also offer those are chilly a light jacket or sweater.
You've seen it happen, I'm sure. The party that starts out great and then somehow blows up into a total disaster. It leaves everyone standing around how something that started out so wonderful can end with such misery.
It doesn't take much
To ruin a party!
The truth of the matter is that parties, by their very nature, I suppose, bring out both the worst in some people and the best in others. It takes only one single individual to ruin a party. And it doesn't take much. A bad conversation. Drinking too much. Or just a rudeness or bluntness not suited to the scenario.
As a host, though, you can do your best not only to smooth this over if you see it occurring, but actually try to avoid these types of situations in the first place. And you don't even have to don your cape to become super-host to do it!
Again, the key is to think and plan ahead. Don't play ostrich and assume that these types of things would never happen at your party. Don't assume your friends or relatives would ever create a scene or spoil the moment.
Granted, your good friends and your most cherished relatives probably would never purposely do this. But there are times, when we're all driven beyond our breaking points. And if we've already had a couple of drinks in us . . . It makes it all the more likely for this to occur.
Part of this, of course, can be avoided by simply taking another good hard look at the guest list before sending out the invitations. Don't allow anyone to pressure you into inviting Uncle George if your gut is telling you his drinking may get out of hand.
Don't invited Jenny and Bill both knowing that they just went through a messy break-up and plates were literally whizzing past them during an argument.
Don't know about some of the other people on the guest list? Don't be shy in asking around prior to the party. You may feel like a private detective, but a few minutes of questioning here and there may be exactly what saves your party from turning into a World Wrestling Entertainment event!
Chapter 5:
Party Progression:
Let's Keep This Party Moving
The key to a great party is ensuring that it "travels" from one planned event to the other -- in a timely manner. This includes getting every one to the dinner table if it's a sit down dinner. It means ending one planned event and moving to the next smoothly. This is critical to keep your guests entertained.
O
ne of the major duties -- or you could call it privileges -- of hosting a party is that of "traffic manager." That takes the description of host to a mundane level but it does effectively describe what's required of a good event: that it doesn't get stuck in a traffic jam with no way of escaping.
If you've ever attended a party where the participants can't get past the talking portion and into the dining room for dinner -- or maybe just two or three -- then you know exactly what I mean. It can be a host's nightmare.
Don't let this happen to you. You need to put your "Officer Friendly" uniform on and keep the flow of traffic traveling at the speed limit with no jams.
What's all this talk about
"progression" mean, anyway?
And this isn't as difficult as you might think. There's even a name for it. It's called "party progression." When an individual talks about a party's progression, he's usually referring to the fact that the party takes place in various venues. Rather it progresses from one location to another.
And that doesn't mean it roams throughout town (although some events, called "progressive dinners" do exactly this. They move from one person's home to another for the various courses!). The movement could be as simple as pre-dinner drinks in your living room, to dinner in your dinner room and dessert on your patio.
And this is very effective "trick" of party planning. Because your guests must move, it makes a natural transition. But beyond that, such a transition adds interest to the party.
A sense of anticipation builds as the guests travel from one place to another. And if you can manage to get different individuals meeting and mingling a different set of people with each venue . . . well, you've got a real winner of a party.
Coaxing your guests to move
Here's a quick overview of how you can carry this off with ease.
As your guests arrive, direct them to the room in which the drinks are being served. This venue can be designed for a "cocktail party" as well. As you recall, a cocktail party either has enough room for all to sit or have enough people standing that they don't feel awkward doing so.
You may have some soft music playing in the background. Make a few appetizers and hors d'oeuvres available for your guests as well.
As the time approaches to serve the main meal, gently invite your guests into the next venue. This may be the dining room. But depending on the size of your various rooms, you may have converted your living room into the dining area for the evening.
Some people prefer to use the patio for this purpose as well. This works especially well if it's warm outside. Guests can linger on the patio until it gets chilly.
And then you can bring them inside for dessert, coffee and after-dinner drinks. Or if you prefer, you can serve the main meal inside and adjourn outside to the patio lit by some party lights or tiki lights.
Do you see how easy it is keep the party moving? It's really quite simple. And with each move, may naturally strike up a conversation with a different guest --- hopefully someone they don't know quite that well . . . yet.
Tap the talents of your guests
One way of keeping boredom away and the party flowing is by tapping the natural talents of your guests. Of course, in no way do you want to put them on the "spot," making them feel uncomfortable. But asking a guest to play the piano a little or another to sing, can be a great way to raise the excitement level of a party that seems as if it's a little flat.
You know your guests, so don't be afraid to ask them even before the date of the party, if they would be willing to jump in to help save it with their expertise.
I've seen this principle in action when there was just a group of four of us gathered together. My friend and I went to visit a married couple. He noticed their piano, and asked permission to play (because he just can't keep his hands off a piano -- and he is good). The next thing I knew our one friend was sitting next to him singing.
From there, the conversation went to pianists and composers. One of our hosts jumped up and out of the room to bring out some old records. The evening took a wonderful and quite unexpected turn simply because of that single act.
Sometimes taking control of the traffic flow means entertaining when the "red light" prior to dinner lasts a little longer than you thought.
The big event.
Okay, this may sound a bit corny, but believe me, it works. Every party really needs at least one event that draws a focal point for the group. You may want to plan a game or a contest. In some cases, it may be the act of toasting the guest of honor. Some parties have "The Dance" that creates the focus.
If you plan this, then helps to keep the party moving, mixing and keep everybody having fun.
Plan on implementing at least one of these events. But in addition, you may also want to have several more as back up plans. If your original idea doesn't work as you hoped, you can always fall back on plan be.
For example, have a trivia board game on the coffee table -- something even as simple as an old Trivial Pursuit game. If any of your guests are like me, they really don't need to actually play the board game aspect. They'll open the box, dive right into the questions and start asking.
You never know what guests will be attracted when they hear certain questions. And you'll never know where that may take the next turn of events.
Chapter 6:
Party Planning On A Budget
Only a Trump could afford not to work from a budget -- and he wouldn't dare do it. Everyone has some budget -- the trick is to make your party appear as if you spared no expense. We'll show you how.
Y
es, you can afford to throw a party! And you can do it within your economic means. And don't think that because you are on a budget that your fun needs to take a back seat.
That is the farthest thing from the truth. There are lots of way to create a party on a shoestring -- and still make your guests feel like a million bucks.
But if you really do feel as if you can't afford what you'd like to do, find a "cohort in crime." By this, I mean enlist a help of a partner who may want to split the cost with you. Or perhaps you can split up duties and location and items like that.
You may play host at your house if she buys the alcohol or if she furnishes the main meal. You get the general idea. This also takes some of the stress that naturally goes with planning off of you.
If you don't want to share the costs, it's still possible to throw a great party with minimal cost.
You need to create a budget
before you can stick with a budget!
Your first step is to determine how much money you realistically have available to spend on your party. That one fact, may determine many aspects of your future get together. It could either dictate the size of the guest list or the items on your menu.
Either way, don't panic. You can always create a theme to work around either. For example, if you'd like to throw an old fashioned barbeque party, several years ago, you might have thought "steak" on the grill.
Well, tell me what's wrong with hot dogs and hamburgers? Give it a gold old fashioned 50s theme and not a single guest will ever know your first impulse was to buy steaks.
From hot dogs and hamburgers, the dessert idea comes easily enough -- watermelon. Now, we're not talking a lot of money here -- and it sounds like great fun.
But let's just say, you want a bit more food than that. Then go that extra "1950s" step and ask everyone to bring something. Once a person is invited to a picnic, she inevitably offers to bring something.
You may ask one person to bring potato or macaronic salad, another couple of people to bring a single bag of potato chips, and even another two or three to bring some bottles of soda.
Before you know it, your entire menu is laid out and ready to eat and you've only really had the expense of the hot dogs and hamburgers!
Become a wise shopper
It's to wise up! When shopping for your party on a budget, become a wise shopper. Develop your budget limit. Vow not to go over it. Then go out to fulfill your vow -- and create a memorable party.
Your first step is to "comparison" shop. This is especially true when it comes to any decorations you may need or those bags of potato chips and other snacks for the party.
Don't be afraid to walk into those "dollar stores" to take a good look around. These places may be your budget-saving places when it comes to snack food, mixed nuts and even party decorations.
You'll be surprised at some of the items dollar stores stock these days -- and you'll be delighted with some of the prices. But be careful, because not all of the prices are the bargain you think they are.
Resist the impulse to "impulse shop"
It happens to the best of us. We're looking for one item, and then we see it. That one item that would just top off the plans of your party beautifully. It's as if fate brought you to this very moment to discover this product. Your party just wouldn't be the same without it.
Whoa! Before you buy it, ask yourself this question: is it on my list? Then take it one step further: If a don't buy it, who but me will really be aware that it's missing from the party.
If you feel that this particular catches your imagination . . . then shop around (even internet shopping at first!) to see if you can buy it elsewhere for less. It's highly unlikely that this is the only store in your area that carries this "must-have" item. Chances are you'll run into it again -- and even at a better price.
You can save on some things . . .
but not on others
And one of the "others" you should never try to cut big, humongous corners on is your food. Obviously, you're going to shop around the major grocery stores to get the best price . . . to snatch food up while it's on sale . . .even freeze it if you can (You are going to do these things, aren't you?). Don't go to either a dollar store or even these very deep discount grocery stores for you food.
The dollar store prices are super cheap for a reason. Even the brand name items in food may not be exactly what you think you're buying. The bottom line is simply this: the origin of the food they carry may be questionable.
Let me give you an example. I was hungry for those overly processed, package food items called Hot Pockets. Yes, I know that they aren't good for me. But now and then I harken back to when my daughter was younger and ate them morning, noon and night.
So I found a package of my favorite kind in a dollar store. It appeared to be a good price. I prepared it. And thought I was going to eat it. I even checked the expiration date before I prepared it. It was definitely not of the same quality as what comes out of a grocery store. How could this be? That would take up the contents of an other book entirely.
Some very deep discounted grocery stores go so far as to sell food that has already expired. Before you buy any food at a place like that, check the expiration date. If the date has come and pass, say "pass" yourself on the item.
Don't save on those very important points
Think of it as a reward system. If you've bought your party favors, your decorations and other items diligently and saved yourself money, great.
But now, you're down to a few bare elements you've waited to buy. And let's say for example, they revolve around the guest of honor. Let's say you're throwing a 30th birthday party for a dear friend who loves chocolate cakes.
Well, you're not about to buy a cheap, less than delicious chocolate cake are you? Of course not. And here is where all your saving, scrimping and careful shopping has finally paid off. Now, go out there, without fear of guilt -- or impact of budget -- and buy his favorite cake . . . the best tasting cake you can find. Oh, yeah! Life is good!
And as the guest of honor with his favorite cake sitting in front of him, even if he did notice you scrimped on a few things (which is even doubtful!) he'll never forget that party because you were thoughtful enough to present him with the very best of . . . chocolate cake.
What about just borrowing something?
Why not? This might be a great money-saving idea. This is also an excellent way to save on rental costs. Instead of renting chairs, why not just borrow a few from neighbors, families and friends? That trims your budget nicely. And if the truth be known, your friends and family are happy to help.
If you're a member of a church, you may find your church has a policy about loaning certain items out to members.
Creating your own?
Now, here's a novel idea these days. And before you tell me that you have absolutely no creative talent, stop. Because quite frankly my dear I don't give a darn. I'm going to forge ahead with this section anyway.
Ever consider instead of buying your invitations, making them yourself. Sure you could print them out on your computer, but why not make them so they look "homemade."
That's right! Let me tell you exactly what I mean. A friend of mine was throwing a moving party. Since her husband was a minister, they had moved several times in their lives. So the process of packing up everything and labeling it on brown boxes was standard operating procedure.
She took that idea to heart and created "homemade" invitations. Plain brown paper -- like butcher paper -- became the invitation. She simply tore -- yes tore -- pieces and wrote the essentials of any good invitation on them. And she wrote them with a black "Sharpie" permanent pen. Just as she would be labeling her boxes.
Economical? Yes. Creative? Indeed. Budget minded! Absolutely. And those invitations ended up to be what everyone at the party was talking about! And it didn't take one ounce of talent to do! Just a little thinking out of the (moving) box.
You can do the same with just about any aspect of your party, depending on your theme, location and type of food you're serving!
Chapter 7:
Top 10 Theme Ideas
Theme parties aren’t just for a child’s birthday party, anymore. The best excuse for a no-reason party is a theme party. Don’t think you can handle one? Think again!
So, you want to throw a theme party. Or, you want to throw a party but don’t have an excuse. Or maybe you’re just intrigued about the idea of a theme party that’s not for an 8 year old. Aren’t we all?
A theme party does take a bit more planning than your average get-together, but it can certainly be a huge amount of fun. It’s not the type of party that your guests are going to forget about in the coming weeks, either!
Here’s our Top Ten list of Themes, and a few ideas for each of them. The best advice with a theme party is really to let your imagination go wild. You never know – if your friends think that it’s a huge success, maybe you’ll be hosting a different theme each month!
10. Hollywood Party
Ah, the glamour. The lifestyle. Hollywood at its finest can be in your very living room! Hosting a Hollywood themed party is a lot of fun, and it’s something that your guests are probably pretty opinionated on.
If you’re not sure what to do, focus on a trivia game that will put your skills of either classic Hollywood, or today’s stars, to the test. Champagne in traditional, long stemmed glasses is a must for the rich and famous – and if your friends are really adventurous, go one step further and suggest everyone come as their favorite Hollywood star.
9. Beach Party
It doesn’t matter if you’re near the beach or relaxing at home – or if it’s 90 degrees out or 9. A beach party can be a lot of fun, and a great way to relax.
Serve tropical drinks with colorful garnishes, and bright hors d’oeuvres that are full of color and flavor. If it’s cold out, it’s okay – turn up the heat in the house and encourage people to bring out colorful summer clothes. You can even pick up beach themed decorations on the cheap because it’s off-season.
8. Casino Party
This is an excellent idea for anyone who loves to gamble, and wants to enjoy himself with a larger number of friends – or even just a few.
Set up several tables either indoors or outside (Be careful if it’s windy) and you can have a few games going. Poker, Blackjack, Craps, or even Roulette. Make sure that you have room for guests to just mingle if they want – not everyone will want to play the entire night, after all.
7. Traditional Afternoon Tea Party
Looking for something a little less casual, a little more themed? Try a traditional afternoon tea party on nice Saturday afternoon. It’s the perfect thing to do outside, though it works almost as well indoors.
Make sure you have plenty of tea (While plain old black tea works fine, consider going to your local health food store and seeing what exotic loose-leaf teas they might have to try), and cucumber sandwiches are a must. This can be a blast for a smaller group of people, but realize that the tea can get expensive, the more guests you add to the mix.
6. Wine-Tasting Party
I went to this great little get together at a friend’s house a while back. The atmosphere was casual, and there couldn’t have been more then ten or fifteen of us. She called it a ‘wine tasting’ party.
Each person brings a different bottle of wine – their favorite, or a vintage they’ve wanted to try – and everyone gets a taste of something different. It’s also great when the host wants to throw a party but doesn’t have a lot of cash, because the main attraction is being brought!
5. Uncle Sam’s Party
Having a BBQ and want a theme? Why not go with an all-American Uncle Sam theme! At the front of the house, put a life sized Uncle Sam to invite guests to come around back, and serve chips and pretzels in overturned Uncle Sam hats.
With the food, don’t worry about fancy steaks. This is America’s party, and what could be more classic American barbeque then hot dogs and hamburgers? Add pulled pork and beer and chicken so that everyone has something to eat, and don’t forget the red, white, and blue decorations.
4. Christmas in July
Want something festive, but the heat this time of year got you down? Grab Christmas-themed invitations (Or make your own!) and do a non-traditional Christmas in July party.
Sing along with your favorite Christmas carols and make eggnog milkshakes to cool off from the heat outside. Bake Christmas cookies and bring out the holiday Santa or elf hats to get everyone in the mood. With something like this, even the biggest cynic will be laughing and singing along.
3. Moving Party
If you’re moving to a new location, and want to throw a good-bye party so you can see your friends one more time, this is a fun way to do it. Use a piece of cardboard and write down invitations with a sharpie pen.
All you need is a stereo and some snacks for guests. If they want to enjoy seating other then the floor, suggest they bring folding chairs. Oh, did I not mention? The charm of this party is that everything is packed up and already moved – no furniture at all!
2. Potluck Pasta Party
This one can be a lot of fun with the right people. Make it a potluck, but ask everyone to bring a different pasta dish. On your own, try making something random and fun – like using flavored noodles, or a crazy sauce.
Write up little cards with the history of different dishes and put them around for talking pieces, and serve the food either sit down or buffet style. You can even do a pasta dessert.
1 . Baking Party
This is only good for a small group of friends – it doesn’t often translate well to a lot of people – but for a close knit bunch of friends, it’s perfect. Have a meal planned out, buy all of the ingredients, and let everyone do the cooking when they come.
Make sure there’s plenty of wine to sip on while you’re cooking, and if you’re not sure everyone can handle a full meal, make it a dessert or two. If you have the room, you can even do a cook-off. May the best team win.
Basically . . .
There’s no right or wrong when you’re doing a theme party. Put your personal spin on the theme, and make sure to have the right friends for the theme. Mostly, enjoy yourself – and your guests will enjoy themselves, too.
Conclusion
Ah! You've closed the door. The last guest has left. You view the mess your house is now in. But, admit it: it's a good mess! You had a good time. And what's more important, your guests had a great time!
Yes, see I told you that you could do it. You pulled off THE perfect party. Well, darn near to the perfect party, now wasn't it?
And I'm guessing it's only the first of many. From the moment your guests walk through the door -- actually even before that -- you strutted (quite modestly, of course!) your stuff as the perfect host.
Congratulations. It certainly was worth all the planning you put into it. And think, the next time around, you won't be quite so nervous.
Now what do you do? Well, as I view your house, you have two choices (depending on what time it happens to be). You can either go straight to bed, and deal with the mess in the morning. Or you can start cleaning up so you don't have quite the clutter to look at in the morning.
Appendix I:
The Party Planning Checklist
|( |When? |Task |
| |2 to 4 Weeks Ahead | |
| | |Create a Budget |
| | |Make a guest list |
| | |Select location |
| | |Create a menu |
| | |Send out invitations |
| | |Start cooking ahead of time |
| | |Assign dishes for potluck |
| | |Reserve rental items |
| | |Hire any help for kitchen, serving, bartending |
| |2 weeks ahead | |
| | |Review your serving pieces and utensils to make sure you have enough |
| | |Assemble party favors |
| | |Gather party music, games, other entertainment |
| |1 week ahead | |
| | |Review menu preparation timeline |
| | |Buy non-perishable food items |
| | |Finalize RSVPs |
| |3 Days Before | |
| | |Clean house |
| | |Polish silverware |
| |2 Days Before | |
| | |Buy fresh meats |
| | |Charge camera |
| | |Wash glassware |
| |1 Day Before | |
| | |Buy fresh produce |
| | |Clean, iron table cloths. Place directly on tables. |
| | |Set table |
| | |Decorate buffet |
| | |Set up the bar |
| | |Lay out all serving pieces |
| | |Buy and arrange flours |
| | |Run vacuum cleaner |
| | |Dust |
| |Day of Party | |
| | |Buy fresh seafood |
| | |Pick up rented equipment |
| | |Buy ice |
| | |Chill beer and wine |
| | |Finish decorating |
| | |Grab a light snack before guests arrive |
| | |Put on the music! |
| | |And above all enjoy yourself (I hear your doorbell ringing now!) |
Appendix II
How Much Food to Prepare
How much food do I prepare? That's a question that at one time or another has nagged with the most polished of party hosts. Here's a quick guideline to give you an idea of a variety of foods.
This chart, while not covering all types of foods, gives you an idea of the quantities you may be facing.
If you're serving less than 25 make the necessary adjustments in quantity. You can do the same math for the number of guests that fall between the numbers shown.
|Type of Food |Serving 25 |Serving 50 |Serving 100 |
|Chicken or turkey breast |12.5 pounds |25 pounds |50 pounds |
|Fish (fillets or steaks) |7.5 pounds |15 pounds |30 pounds |
|Hamburgers |8 to 9 pounds |15 to 18 pounds |30 to 36 pounds |
|Ham or roast beef |10 pounds |20 pounds |40 pounds |
|Hot dogs |6 pounds |12.5 pounds |25 pounds |
|Meat loaf |6 pounds |12 pounds |24 pounds |
|Oysters |1 gallon |2 gallons | 4 gallons |
|Pork |10 pounds |20 pounds |40 pounds |
|Side Dishes | | | |
|Baked beans |5 quarts | 2.5 gallons |5 gallons |
|Cabbage (for coleslaw) |5 pounds |10 pounds |20 pounds |
|Carrots |7.5 pounds |15 pounds |30 pounds |
|Iceberg lettuce for salad |5 heads |10 heads |20 heads |
|Potatoes |9 pounds |18 pounds |36 pounds |
|Potato salad |3 quarts |1.5 gallons |3 gallons |
|Salad dressing |3 cups |1.5 quarts |3 quarts |
|Misc. | | | |
|Bread (in loaves) |3 |5 |10 |
|Butter |.75 pounds |1.5 pounds |3 pounds |
|Cheese |.75 pounds |1.5 pounds |3 pounds |
|Coffee |.75 |1.5 pounds |3 pounds |
|Milk |1.5 gallons |3 gallons |6 gallons |
|Nuts |.75 pounds |1.5 pounds |3 pounds |
|Olives |.5 pounds |1 pound |2 pounds |
|Pickles |.5 quart |1 quart |2 quarts |
|Rolls |50 |100 |200 |
|Soup |5 quarts |2.5 gallons |5 gallons |
|Desserts | | | |
|Cake (number of full cakes) |2 |4 |8 |
|Ice cream |1 gallon |2 gallons |4 gallons |
|Pies (number of full pies) |4 |9 |18 |
|Whipping cream |1 pint |2 pints |4 pints |
References
Books
Diane Warner's Big Book of Parties, Career Press, 1999, Franklin Lakes, New Jersey
Shriftman, Laura; Elizabeth, Harrison, et. Al., Party Confidential, July 2008, New York City, NY, St. Martin's Press.
Web sites
Hosting a cocktail party, , accessed 17 July 09
Guide to serving alcohol, , accessed 17 July 09
Party planning checklist, , accessed 18 July 09
What Type of Party Should You Have, , accessed 20 July 09
Want to Choose the Best Dinner Party Menu and Recipe, , accessed 20 July 09
Sachs, Patty, Party Planning On A Budget, , accessed 22 July 09
Party planning on a budget, , accessed 22 Jul 09
-----------------------
But I live in an apartment . . .
I couldn't possibly entertain!
Oh, but that's just not so! Not by a long shot!
Don't let the fact that you're an apartment dwelling stop you from the delight of entertaining.
You just have to scale down your guest list some (and have more parties more often if you have a lot of friend)s.
No matter what anyone else may tell you, no space is really too small in which to do some entertaining.
Let me give you just a few ideas of how to adjust or scale down your plans from that of a person lives in a house.
First, if you're planning to provide any type of food, keep your menu simple. This can be said for hors d'oeuvres of a cocktail to a sit-down dinner.
Consider buffet dining over a dinner party. The buffet offers more flexible seating options.
Give you and yourself more physical space by pushing all of your furniture against the walls.
If you have a usable balcony that will hold people, then encourage people to use this space, Providing seating out there and use mood lighting to draw individuals to sit and mingle.
Clear the clutter from every room your guests will enter. This includes the kitchen. For the time being, place as many appliances as possible in cabinets or other hide-away areas.
Need extra seating, or even a second room? Why not throw fabric over your bed, decorate it large pillows and allow people to site and talk here?
Pizza Planning
for a Teen Party
"I can't go wrong with pizza," you told yourself at the beginning of the planning process.
Your son is turning 16 and you're throwing him a birthday party. But now, you're having second thoughts about this pizza bash.
Just how much pizza do I order, you're asking yourself.
Plan on four slices per person. Yes, four slices. Teenage boys have big appetites. And when it comes to pizza, even teenage girls give in to the temptation of that extra piece of two . . .
Remember though that pizza is one of those wonderful foods that can sit around all evening long and teens just naturally pick up another piece as long as another piece is there.
So, if they don't eat all four pieces per person at one time, rest assured what appeared to be a mound of pizza will slowly (or not so slowly) dwindle as the party continues on through the evening.
There are two rules I live by when giving a party for teens:
1. You can never, ever go wrong ordering pizza as the main meal.
2. You can never, ever order too much pizza.
By the way, is it an overnight party for teens? Any leftover pizza will naturally become the morning after's breakfast, guaranteed.
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