FAMIILY LIFE AND PERSONAL HISTORY



FAMIILY LIFE AND PERSONAL HISTORY

• Family History. Obtain a chronological history of the family, including places lived, and moved to, cities or countries, houses or apartments. General description of one’s family i.e. “What was it like growing up in your family.”

• Family Members. List of all the members of the family including siblings, “step” relatives, their ages, education levels, marriages divorces and / or remarriages, extended family, deaths. How did the individual relate to each member.

• Family Life. An in depth description of what life in their family was like. Parent work history, as well as those of others, family division of labor including household chores, how vacations and leisure time were lived out, (i.e. “What did you / your family do for fun?”) meals together, absences of parents / family members and reasons for such. Did friends visit / were they welcomed.

• Authority in the Family. Who was the main authority figure(s) in the family? How (or was) authority shared / divided. How were conflicts treated and resolved. Types of punishment or methods of discipline. (Give examples.) How were decisions made in the family?

• Family Trauma. List family traumas, including deaths, divorces, relocations, sibling rivalries, loss of employment, alcohol or drug abuse, abuse either physical, verbal or sexual. Unresolved conflicts or lingering resentments.

• Cultural Background. Their ethnic background and history. How deep are they into their own heritage? How relevant is their ancestry to their everyday life. If relevant, their immigration and visa status. If relevant, a comparison of the differing countries and cultures they have lived in. How do they describe themselves culturally?

• Employment History. List all jobs, years worked, reasons for leaving, current employment. What was your favorite / least favorite job? Any difficult bosses and if so, how did you handle it. Were you ever fired / laid off / dismissed / quit a job. Were you ever a boss, and if so, how were employee relations. Did you have to fire / let go of an employee. If you did not become a priest, what would you do for a living?

EDUCATION

• Education History. List all the grade schools, high schools and colleges attended, including years of graduation, diplomas received, or if no or little college, the approximate number of units received. Approximate GPA.

• Academic Interests. Favorite / least favorite classes and why. Teachers that made an impression for the better or worse. Attitude towards studies, i.e. “Did you like school?” “Were you a good student?” Attitude toward education in general. (“Is it necessary?”) Academic successes and failures. (If still in school, how are your grades / any drop or increase in grades and why.)

• Student Life. How was your life as a student. Were you popular, well known, involved or not. Friends in school. Participation in student activities, clubs, dances, homecoming, the prom. Any positions held in student leadership. Experiences in dating or group activities.

• Future Education. How do you look toward your future education in the seminary. Is it necessary or unnecessary, too much, in the way of your desire to become a priest. Are you fearful of returning to school / academic workload?

PHYSICAL HEALTH

• General Self Description. Description of your health. Last physical taken. Any childhood diseases, chronic health conditions / diseases, injuries whether recent or in the past. Physical impairments. Any present or past use of prescription medication for health concerns. Any surgeries past or proximate.

• Exercise. Do you exercise. If not, why not. Types and frequency of exercise. For how long have you done so or not. Effect of exercise upon you.

• Diet and Weight. How much do you weigh. Is that typical of your age and height. Any recent weight loss or gain. Describe eating habits and patterns. Describe any diets that have been used. Do you have a weight / eating problem? Allergies.

• Sleeping Patterns. How do you sleep, fitfully or soundly? How many hours per day. Are you a morning person or night person. Have you had difficulties falling asleep in past or present. Any incidents of narcolepsy or insomnia.

EMOTIONAL HEALTH

• Personality Description. How do you describe yourself, your personality. Are you reserved or outgoing. An introvert or extrovert. Do you see yourself as an excitable or calm or shy or outgoing person. Self-confident or uncertain. Are you a flexible person or set in ways. How does change happen in your life. Give an example of such a change.

• Stress. What are the sources of stress in your life. How do your deal with / relieve stress / lift your mood. Give examples. What has this taught you about yourself. What are some of the problem areas in your life. Do you avoid them / attack them. How do you react / respond when you are under pressure. How do you deal with and express your own anger and that of others.

• Emotional Illness. Have you or any family member suffered from emotional illness. Been under a doctor’s care. Been hospitalized. What were the reasons. Are you taking any kind of medication for emotional stress or illness. If so, names of drugs used. Have you suffered depression, lonliness, alienation. How did you cope with such.

• Self Esteem. Do you describe yourself as confident or needing more confidence. Do you need to improve a part of your life and if so, what.

LIFESTYLE

• Relationships. Describe your friendships. Male and female. How many friends do you have, their age, how long have you known them. What do you do together. Did it just stay a friendship or did it become intimate. Have friends become lovers or lovers friends. Any conflict in the relationships and if so, how was it resolved.

• Leisure Activities. What do you do for fun. During weekdays / weekends. Do you have vacations and when and how often. Hobbies.

• Use of Money. Do you have a job. Do you like it. How much does it pay. How do you spend your money. Any debts and how much. Outstanding student, house, car, personal loans to anyone. Have you ever had to borrow money from family or friends. If so, was it repaid. Any bankruptcies. What material possessions do you have. Any leans against you / your property. Describe your use / philosophy of credit, credit cards, payment thereof. Have you ever maxed out a card. What happened and how resolved.

• Substance Abuse. Any difficulties with drugs or alcohol. A DUI. For yourself or a family member or friend. What happened and how resolved if resolved. Do you smoke and if so, how much. Any addictions to food or exercise or some activity.

• Time Management. Are you a punctual or tardy person and why. How do you manage your time. Do you see yourself as organized / disorganized. Give examples.

SEXUALITY AND CELIBACY

• Sexuality in the Family. How was the subject of sexuality dealt with in your family. Openly discussed or not. How did you discover sexuality. Playground / peer group, birds and bees talk by parent? What would you have done differently were you to have been the parent. Any sexual taboos in family. Any sexual abuse against you or others. Any sexual crimes by you or other family members.

• Sexual Orientation. How do you see your sexual orientation. Gift from God or a curse. How did you discover it. Are you at peace with it.

• Experiences of Sexuality. How did you begin to experience sexuality. How old were you. What in that was negative or positive.

• Sexual Difficulty. Any sexual dysfunction, use or pornography. Use of the internet. How do you deal with sexual energy / passions.

• Relationships. Take detailed dating history. Have you ever been in love. Girlfriends / boyfriends. Degree of intimacy with. How did the relationship(s) begin / end. Have you dated within the last two years. What did it teach you about yourself, your needs.

• Celibacy. Describe celibacy. Your opinion of celibacy / is church right or wrong and why. What are the skills needed to be celibate. What do your family / friends think of celibacy. Have you been celibate for the last two years. Difference between being celibate and being a bachelor who doesn’t have sex.

LEADERSHIP AND AUTHORITY

• Qualities of a Good Leader. Qualities of a good leader and which do you possess. Describe a good leader, how he exercises authority, makes decisions. Leadership Qualities. Do you see yourself as a leader. What does it mean to accept responsibility. Describe your leadership style, skills and weaknesses. How do you motivate others. What motivates you. How do you make decisions, and are they made with others, alone, quickly, slowly. Have you failed in a project and how was it handled, what did you learn. It is hard / easy to admit error / apologize.

• Leadership Qualities. Honesty. Responsibility. Confidence. Enthusiasm. Reliability. Patience. Decisiveness. Determination. Loyalty. Courage. Which best describes you.

• Authority. Name the authority figures in your life. How do you relate to them. Which has the best leadership style and why. Have they ever criticized you. How do you deal with / respond to / handle criticism. Do you see yourself as a maverick and what does that mean. Describe a conflict you had with authority and the upshot. For whom are you an authority figure. Describe success, failures, conflicts with those under you. How do they see you.

FAITH LIFE

• Catholic Practice. Describe the practice of your faith. Have you received the sacraments of initiation. When and where. What kind of preparation did you receive. Describe your prayer life. How many minutes / hours of the day spent in prayer / when and where. From whom did you receive the faith.

• Faith Formation. What was your childhood church like. Any favorite priests / religious / laity while growing up. Any negative experiences of the church while growing up. How is your faith different now from then. What now forms your faith i.e. what practices, books, church groups, ministries, people. Any favorite devotions. Describe experience of silence / solitude in your life.

• Church Authority. Describe how you see authority in the church. The best model of Church authority. How do you understand the promise of obedience of a priest to the bishop. What would you do should your bishop ask you to do something contrary to your desires. What church teachings do you agree / disagree with strongly.

• Ministry. Detail the ministries that you have (had) in the parish / church / community. Which did you enjoy the most / least and why. Any ministry you have not done but look forward to. The priestly ministry that you most / least look forward to. What priestly ministry do you imagine will be the hardest. Your thoughts on ministry to other cultural / ethnic parish groups. How do you feel about learning Spanish.

• Spiritual Mentors. Favorite priest / religious / lay person, now or while growing up. Why. What qualities. Do you have a spiritual director. How often do you go to spiritual direction. Present relationship with priests / religious in parish.

SOCIAL ISSUES

• Church and Politics. Describe best relationship between church and state. Where has the church done best / worst in relating to the government. Do you think the church has failed / succeeded in some area concerning justice. Should the church be involved in politics and if so, how or if not, why not.

• Social Issues. What are the most pressing social issues in the country / the world. Where do you think the church should be involved more / the most / or has not yet been so. How can a priest bring justice to the world / parish.

DISCERNMENT OF CALL

• Signs of the Priesthood. What signs have you excperienced that indicate your call to the priesthood. Have others described signs they see in you.

• Vocation Story. Ask the man to describe his vocation story, when it happened, how it came to him, who / what has reinforced it, or who / what has been unsupportive.

• Parental / Friend Response. How have others reacted to your decision. Are your parents supportive / dissappointed / uncertain / scared. How is it with your friends. Why.

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