A note to my students: TODAY is a workday (quiet, silent ...



Note: TODAY we embody a focused, present, & attentive writing guru (insightful, honest, wise) with an emphasis on CRITICALITY and REVISON! Take out a pen, rip out a blank sheet of lined paper, and your most recent draft or what you consider your final draft. Tuck everything else away and off your desk.

On the lined sheet of paper compose a concise Author’s Note about specific concepts or skills you need feedback on today:

Dear Revisers,

Please check my paper for the following: ________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Now: hand your paper to the person behind you; last person in the row walk your paper to the first person.

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Revisers: Focus on each objective or task. Prioritize writing on the draft itself but do add commentary to the lined paper when appropriate. Refer to specific words, lines, and phrases whenever possible.

INTRODUCTION:

Read the entire 1st paragraph, then in the left-hand margin categorize the organizational pattern or logic.

If the first few lines do not name the author & the title, suggest a logical location. If MLA format is not followed, write “ITALICIZE BOOK TITLES” above the title and insert commas if missing.

If the intro. sounds too dry or factual, in the right-hand margin offer suggestions for how could the author make it more interesting or professional or engaging or whatever you think it’s lacking style-wise.

Does the author give you enough of a general framework about the purpose or topic so that you feel comfortable with or ready for the thesis? If not--what questions need to be answered? Ask them in the header/title space!

THESIS: FIRST, read all the comments from the previous reviser and add anything s/he neglected to notice or elaborate upon seemingly vague feedback.

Underline the whole thesis, then number the ideas within it that need analysis, support and elaboration in body paragraphs.

Are all the parts of the thesis in the same sentence or two--or are the main ideas scattered throughout the whole first paragraph? If scattered, disconnected or too unwieldly suggest how to limit scope.

Jot down what exactly is missing: Theme? Literary elements? Argument?

Offer suggestions to improve word choice, word order, punctuation, etc…of the thesis.

Finally, rewrite the sentence on the back of this author’s lined paper. Even if you believe it’s decent or good, still recraft what you deem the author intends to assert as his/her thesis.

ORGANIZATION OF THE BODY (AKA UNITY AND COHERENCE):

Skim the entire draft. Look specifically at topic sentences and transitions--skip past the details and support. Underline actual topic sentences that REPEAT, DEEPEN, ELABORATE UPON and/or SUPPORT the KEY IDEAS in the thesis. Put a question mark next to any new idea that doesn’t seem to "fit."

If a paragraph does not lead with a clear topic sentence, try to write/provide one that guides the content of its paragraph and connects back to the thesis.

Make sure each assertion, claim, connection is crystal clear. If you have to guess at what the author is trying to prove or say, mark with a wavy underline any sections that aren't clear or where the sentence doesn't make "sense." Draw arrows to move ideas. Use brackets [ ] to show when something should be cut out. In the margins add specific details as you need to. (Yes, we really want you to write on the draft in this rhetorical revision code (.)

If every part of the thesis is not addressed/developed in the body of the paper, note what should be changed/added near where it makes sense to you to do so.

Also, if ideas in the body of the paper are not yet included in the thesis but should be, also leave a note regarding this oversight so the author can revise accordingly.

Go back through with the yellow highlighter to mark any phrases & sentences where the author slides into retelling the plot instead of proving a point.

If the ideas are not easy to follow in their current paragraph order, write larger numbers in the left-hand margin to suggest a reordering of paragraphs or to restructure certain out-of-place ideas into paragraphs where they actually belong.

In order to understand the author's argument, do you need any info. told earlier? If so, note what and suggest where. This might mean adding a new paragraph—let the author know its necessity.

Add any other suggestions for improving the organization of the paper to the back of the lined paper.

DEVELOPMENT AND SUPPORT:

In the body, does the writer quote actual lines AND refer to specific examples from an outside source as support for assertion statements? If textual evidence is needed where none is used, draw in an *. If you have a specific quote in mind, paragraph it or where in the book/play would be useful to look.

Do these lines actually SUPPORT the argument? (Or, do you get the idea that the author just wrote details to fill up space?)

Note which sections of the paper need more development or explanation, by writing ANALYZE or DEV’L IDEAS in the right-hand margin.

Does the paper "flow"? Suggest which transitions need strengthening and/or note where a transition is missing by writing TRANS in that spot? (Check between paragraphs AND between sentences.) If you have an idea, suggest what exact transition could help fill in the "gaps" of the paper.

CONCLUSION:

After reading the first paragraph & skimming the body, meticulously read the final paragraph for the below:

Does it creatively attempt to summarize all the main ideas?

Does it restate the thesis in a different way?

Does it leave you feeling satisfied, tying loose-ends together?

Compose an end note, suggesting improvements for the conclusion specifically and the paper overall.

DOCUMENTATION:

Are quotes introduced properly? Does the author name the speaker or article and briefly explain the situation that's happening at that point?

Do you see follow up sentences after the quote that uses phrases such as, "This shows that…" or “This statement is important because…"? Cross such phrases out.

Does the author use quotation marks correctly?

If a works cited section at the bottom of the page is missing, write ADD WC=FOCAL TEXT + SECONDARY SOURCE.

TITLE:

If the paper is missing an appropriate title that alludes to some overriding theme, suggest one.

Any last words of advice for your classmate?

AUTHOR’S NOTE:

Address it (

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