Bills Brown Pulp - SimplyScripts
Bills Brown Pulp
Characters
MILLIE: Millie will be a druggie (different candies will be portrayed as different drugs). Millie has a small defect. She is deaf. She can’t hear. She also has no balance due to her deafness. She has a hard time walking. When someone tries to have a conversation with her, when she is in a regular non action packed conversation, she will usually respond with how she is happy to be a wall mart customer. Dick is the only person that can realy converse with her because he knows sign language.
ROBERT: He will still be a burnout character, but more exaggerated. He will not be doing much talking in the film. His character will just be a dazed character throughout the entire movie. Sometimes you might hear him speak but it is usually a one word sentence; What?
THE BRIDE: She will be Marcus’s new wife. She has gotten a hair cut and a new hair color. She went a bit mental after trying to get BB back. She started using pixie sticks to get away from the pain. She also keeps bill in her coat closet and shows him to guests.
BB: Although it is never realy told how many years have passed, she is still the same in every way. She has a goal in this movie. She wants to find the two guys that starred in the very violent movie. Whenever you see a pulp fiction parody, it will actually be the movie that BB is watching. Whenever she puts her quest to a temporary pause, she puts in her favorite movie.
DIA BROWN: She will be one of few normal people in this film. Her only defect is her name, she works at an airport, and they require that the workers have their full name on their tags. Her full name is Dia Rea Brown.
CHUCK GRAPE: He is another normal character. He does have a small problem though. Chuck is an old man and old men sometimes use pills for erectile dysfunction. Well chuck used this only once but it caused his hoohoodilly to never subside. To be blunt, Chuck has a never ending erection which is very visible for anyone to see. But he is a heck of a bail bondsman.
ELLIE & NIKKI: These two will be featured once and a while throughout the film. Nikki feels very raw and she gets help from Ellie, who has only a head (which is in a suit case). Nikki will learn through Elli’s head how to get revenge.
DICK: He has a speech impediment where he replaces the “SH” sound in words with an “SS” sound. So instead of saying “where can I put my ash?” It would sound like he is saying “where can I put my ass(sh)?”
FADE IN
DRIVE BY SHOT (LOOKING OUT WINDOW)
trees and houses are going by.
Trunk opens. We see one man with an afro and another with shoulder length hair. Lance is the man with the afro and Tommy is the one with the shoulder length hair.
TOMMY
They call it a quarter pounder with cheese in America. But in France it’s different because of the metric system. In France they call it a Royale with cheese.
LANCE
How do you know all this?
TOMMY
I heard it in a movie once.
They reach in the trunk. One takes out a shovel, the other takes out a bag that says lime on it.
LANCE
What movie was that?
He closes the trunk
CUT TO HEAD SHOT OF TOMMY AND LANCE
TOMMY
I don’t realy remember. All I know is that it starred that guy from grease
CUT TO SIDE HEAD SHOT OF THEM WALKING
LANCE
Say Tommy!
CUT TO TOMMY’S LIPS
TOMMY
Yea?
CUT TO LANCE”S LIPS
LANCE
About how long do you think this will take?
CUT TO TOMMY’S LIPS
TOMMY
I don’t know. It realy depends on how much resistance there is.
CUT TO BACK OF TOMMY AND LANCE
they walk up to a door.
CLOSE SHOT OF TOMMY AND LANCE
They are standing at the door
TOMMY
How much time do we have?
Lance looks at his watch
CUT TO FACE OF THE WATCH
Watch reads 1:28
CUT TO CLOSE SHOT OF LANCE AND TOMMY
LANCE
Two minutes
CUT TO LANCE
LANCE
So you’re gonna be looking after Marcus’s wife while he’s gone huh?
CUT TO TOMMY
TOMMY
Yea, it makes me some extra money
CUT TO TOMMY AND LANCE SIDE BY SIDE
LANCE
Yea well don’t ever touch her feet
TOMMY
Why?
LANCE
The last guy that touched her feet got thrown out of a window
TOMMY
Why was that?
LANCE
I don’t know. She just has a thing for her feet I guess
The door opens and a man stands there
MAN
Hey guys come on in
Tommy and Lance walk in
CUT TO INSIDE THE HOUSE
LANCE
So where are we cleaning it up?
MAN
It’s right outside
They walk out to the deck
CUT TO DECK
The deck is covered in snow. We see Tommy walk out with the bag of and Lance with the shovel. Camera is looking up at them. Lance looks down.
LANCE
WOW! What a mess. Alright let’s get to work.
CUT TO CLOSE SHOT OF LANCE AND TOMMY
LANCE
Hey wait! Why do you have a bag of lime?
TOMMY
Oh! I just put the ice melt in here because I didn’t want to bring the bucket
LANCE
Oh Okay
CUT TO SEMI ARIAL VIEW OF LANCE AND TOMMY
Lance goes to the first step and shovels the snow off. Tommy sprinkles ice melt over the shoveled step.
CUT TO OUTSIDE OF A RESTAURANT
Subtitle: Gayville U.S.A.
CUT TO INSIDE RESTAURANT
subtitle reads 3:00 P.M.
Two people are at a booth. They are English. They go about an English gibberish conversation. Finally the man gets up with a gun pointing out
MAN
Everyone freeze this is a robbery!
The woman gets up and flails her arms around and makes a crazy warrior sound
CUT TO DOOR
Chuck Norris walks in
NORRIS
Not on my watch!
There is a massive fight scene between Chuck Norris and everyone else. He throws everyone around and kills them all.
CUT TO THE SAME SCENE ON A TELEVISION
The movie ends on the television and reads “ You have just watched a very violent movie”
ANNOUNCER
You have just watched a very violent movie.
Pan to BB watching the television eating a banana. She gets up and walks out the door
CUT TO CLOSE SHOT OF BB
BB is on an airport escalator going forward. The remake of the beginning scene to Jackie Brown commences. Title is shown. After title is shown, BB starts running in a rushing motion. She suddenly crashes into a wall. People run over to try to help her out. When she is helped up, she starts talking about her favorite movie.
BB
Heh........ HEY! You know that movie where the guy goes into theat place and........ POP TART!......BANG! And the guy dies? You know that one?
MAN
No I can’t say I know what...
BB
HEY! You know that movie where the guy is in the car.... and he has a gun.... BANG! He shoots the guy in the face and he dies?
MAN
NO I don’t.....
BB
Have you ever seen that?
MAN
(quickly) NO!
BB
huh?
MAN
NO!
BB
I’m gonna go see those people in the movie
MAN
O yea, do you know where they are?
BB
Yea they’re in LA
BB expresses L.A. as LA, like the musical note
MAN
Where’s that?
BB
I can count up to “L”
MAN
Are you for real?
BB
My eyes hurt
MAN
Listen, I’m gonna take you with me to Hollywood.
BB
Do you have candy?
MAN
What?
BB
I won’t go with strangers unless they have candy. Or a puppy
MAN
Okay. How about a tic tac
BB
Okay
BB goes with the man to the gate. They get on a plane. They find their seats
BB
What is this?
MAN
It’s an airplane. It goes realy high.
BB
Like mommy?
MAN
What?
BB
Mommy goes realy high too when she has her pixie sticks.
MAN
That sounds fun.
BB
Yea, HEY! Have you ever seen that movie where he’s like “ you’re nothing but a bum!”
MAN
NO!
BB
Your yelling reminds me of home.
MAN
How would you like to be in a movie?
BB
No, I’m looking for people in that movie where she’s like “hey tomato, KETCHUP!”
MAN
Well good luck with tha.....
BB
What?
MAN
Never mind
BB
How long is this road?
MAN
What road?
BB
The road this big car is driving on?
MAN
Oh, this isn’t a road. This is a plane. It goes in the air
BB
huh?
CUT TO EXTREME FAR SHOT OF PLANE TAKING OFF
You hear BB screaming loudly.
CUT TO VIDEO OF STUPID GIRLS WITH GUNS
GIRL
This is my AK. And I can shoot it
the girl pulls the trigger and the gun jams. She aims the barrel at the face to see what is wrong.
CUT TO DICK AND ROBERT INSIDE OF DICK’S APPARTEMENT
you hear a gun shot and a scream on the television.
DICK
Aw Yea. AK 47. Now thats what I’m talking about
ROBERT
uh huh
the phone rings
DICK
HEY! Are you gonna get that
pan to Millie
MILLIE
get what?
DICK
the efing phone
MILLIE
Oh I didn’t hear it
Millie gets up and picks up the phone
MILLIE
hello?
You hear a voice over the phone
MILLIE
HELLO?
You hear the voice continue to talk
MILLIE
HELLO!?
DICK
LOOK AT THE CALLER ID!
Millie looks over and sees the caller ID. She puts the phone down and stumbles back to the couch
DICK
who is it?
MILLIE
It’s Bellmont
Dick gets up and picks up the phone
DICK
Hey Bellmont what the H*E*L*L* is going on?
You hear a voice over the phone
DICK
Jail? What do you mean you’re in jail?
You hear a voice over the phone
DICK
Okay Bellmont just calm down. Don’t worry I’m gonna bail you out. You just have to wait a few days
You hear a loud obnoxious yelling over the phone as dick hangs up
DICK
Hey we have to go somewhere. Come on. First I have to go to the car wash. The car is not ssiney enough.
ROBERT
What?
DICK
I said the car isn’t (sh)ssiney enough
ROBERT
(sh)Ssiney?
DICK
Yea. I like my car to (sh)Ssine
Robert starts to laugh
CUT TO BAIL BONDS OFFICE
chuck grape is sitting in his seat behind his desk. He is talking on the phone.
CHUCK
Ok so let me see if I got this all down. Your son was at a bar and he went into a room that he thaught was a bathroom, and for no apparent reason he was arrested as a pedophile?
You hear a voice over the phone
CHUCK
And your daughter was in a hotel room and she was arrested as a prostitute?
You hear a voice over the phone
CHUCK
And your husband was throwing his trash in a dumpster 7 miles away from your house and he was arrested for murder?
You hear a voice over the phone. Dick walks through the door with a cigarette in his mouth
CHUCK
Well, it sounds like you are in a real pickle. But I can help. All I need is $600,000 from you and your family should be all set.
You hear a voice over the phone. Dick sits down in the chair.
CHUCK
okay good bye
he hangs up the phone and looks at dick
CHUCK
how can I help you?
DICK
where can I put my ass(sh)?
CHUCK
Excuse me?
DICK
I said, where can I put my ass(sh)?
CHUCK
Um???
DICK
My ass(sh) my ass(sh)!!
He picks up his cigarette and waves it around
CHUCK
Oh your ash. Um just put it in this cup
he pushes the mug toward Dick. He flicks his ash in it.
CHUCK
so what do you need
DICK
I need a bond
CHUCK
for what?
DICK
Bailing someone out
CHUCK
yea but what is the person charged with?
DICK
you know this and that
CHUCK
okay
He looks through his drawer and takes a paper out of the file that reads “this and that”. He starts writing on it
CHUCK
What is this persons name?
DICK
Bellmont
CHUCK
Does he have a last name?
DICK
just bellmont thats all I know
chuck starts typing on his computer
CHUCK
okay his full name is bellmont lovingstein
DICK
loveingstein huh?
CHUCK
He looks like a real stable guy in this picture
DICK
(sh)ssow me
CHUCK
I don’t know how to do that
DICK
what do you mean
CHUCK
I never learned how to sew
DICK
Thats fine but I could care less if you can sew or not. I want you to sow me the picture
CHUCK
I can’t sew the picture, I don’t know how
DICK
no no no. not sew (sh)ssow.
CHUCK
I realy don’t understand what you’re trying to tell me.
DICK
I want to see the picture
CHUCK
Why did you tell me to sew it?
DICK
I have a speech impediment that makes it so I can’t make the “S*H*” sound
CHUCK
Oh, I’m sorry
DICK
you better be
Chuck gets up revealing his massive bulge in his pants. He puts his hands out to shake with dick.
CHUCK
well it was nice talking to you. Oh, please excuse my pants. I had a bad chemical reaction with some erectile dysfunction pills and lets just say I’m never down.
Dick turns around and walks out the door. Chuck watches them walk out. He turns around to sit back down at his desk and knocks the mug off the table with his erection.
CHUCK
Oh butternuts!
He bends down to pick up the mug
CUT TO BB AND THE MAN INSIDE THE PLANE
BB is staring off into space. The man has a semi angry look on his face, as though he just made a mistake bringing BB with him. The man gets up and walks away. A little while later Dia Brown comes over and sits next to BB.
DIA
Hello. What’s your name?
BB
HEY! Have you ever seen that movie where he’s like “Zed’s dead”?
DIA
No I can’t say I have. Are you here all alone?
BB
Yea
DIA
You’re not here with anyone
BB
Yea I’m here with the man that gave me candy to come with him on the plane.
DIA
What!? You mean you were kidnaped?
BB
yea
DIA
I’m Gonna help you o..............
BB
HUH?
DIA
I’m gonna help you
BB
hey have you ever seen that movie where he’s like “clean the effing car”?
DIA
Nope sorry
BB
Thats my favorite movie
DIA
Do you have a name?
BB
My feet itch
The man returns to his seat. He stops and stares at Dia.
MAN
Excuse me stewardess, you are in my seat
DIA
You have more problems than that right now mister!
MAN
What are you talking about?
DIA
This little girl told me that you kidnaped her
MAN
WHAT!? I did not!
DIA
So you didn’t give her candy to get on the plane?
MAN
Well yea I did but....
DIA
so you did kidnap her?
MAN
NO. She....
DIA
Enough! I will have you arrested as soon as we get off the plane.
BB
(screaming) YOU TOOK ME FROM MY HOME AND TOLD ME YOU HAD A PUPPY IN YOUR VAN!!!!!!
MAN
NO I DIDN’T!!!!
BB
I HATE YOU. I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND YOU TOOK ME FROM HAPPINESS
MAN
IT’S A LIE!
DIA
You’re going down. You’re nothing but scum!
BB walks over to the emergency exit on the wing and opens it. While people are screaming she runs over to the man.
BB
I HOPE YOU ROT IN HELL!!!!
BB pushes the man out of the plane. Everyone on the plane claps for BB.
CUT TO BB AND DIA WALKING OUT OF THE GATE
DIA
I have to figure out who you are
BB
I’m me
DIA
Yea but do you know your name?
BB
My fishes name is goldie. But I accidentally stepped on him and accidentally stabbed him with a knife and accidentally pulled his fins off with my fingers.
DIA
Well, that sounds nice
BB
It was
Dia searches for a police officer. She finds one and approaches him.
DIA
excuse me officer, This girl was kidnaped by a man that was on the plane and I am trying to get her back home to her family but I don’t know her name.
OFFICER
well that isn’t good
DIA
Can you help me?
OFFICER
possibly. First I have to look through your bag
DIA
Why?
OFFICER
We will find out won’t we?
The officer kneels down and searches through Dia’s bag. He comes across a manilla envelope
CUT TO DIA MAKING A DISAPPOINTED / FRUSTRATED LOOK
The officer opens the envelope.
OFFICER
Wow. There has got to be at least 25, 50 dollars here
he flips the bag upside down and dumps out a massive amount of quarters.
OFFICER
What do you say
RANDOM PERSON
It looks like $50 from here
OFFICER
We have to take you to the station
DIA
Why? It’s $50
OFFICER
yes $50 in quarters
DIA
I don’t understand
OFFICER
Neither do I
DIA
Well who’s gonna take care of this little girl
OFFICER
Give her to someone behind the desk
The officer grabs BB by the arm and gives her to a lady behind a desk
OFFICER
Here figure out who she is and send her home
LADY
You don’t know who that is??
OFFICER
No who is she
LADY
Thats BB Bride. She is the daughter of the bride
DIA
HER!!??
LADY
Yea she’s here to live with her mom in Hollywood
DIA
I thaught that guy kidnaped you
BB
I have a lot of socks
DIA
She killed a man!, An innocent man!
OFFICER
Everyone dies sometime
The officer takes dia away from the desk
LADY
Your limo is right over here. Come on I will bring you there
The lady takes BB by the hand and brings her to the Limo Parked outside. The door is opened and BB gets in. The Limo Drives away.
CUT TO FRONT OF THE BRIDES HOUSE
The limo stops and the driver gets out to let BB out of the car. He opens the door and BB barges out of the car with full speed.
CUT TO INSIDE OF THE BRIDES HOUSE
BB walks inside and runs to the T.V. She puts her favorite movie into the VCR. You can hear the movie start. The Bride walks in
BRIDE
Hello BB. It is a pleasure to be seeing you
She Sits down and pulls out a pixie stick. BB snatches it from her hand
BRIDE
(calmly)no BB don’t do it. Thats not good for you
BB rips open the tip and devours the sugar on the inside of the pixie stick. She goes into a drug trip
CUT TO PIXIE STICK TRIP
The bride is trying to talk to BB while she is having the trip. BB can hear her but as the bride is talking to her, the words she is saying are scrolling by BB’s face in pretty colors.
BRIDE
I am going to have a friend over for a little while. He is going to take me out to dinner. You just stay here and watch your movie.
The last sentence the bride says is slowed down and things start to spin.
CUT TO BB IN BRIDES POINT OF VIEW
BB stands up and pukes a massive amount of vomit. It almost seems as though it is not stopping. Finally it ends and she sits down. The bride puts BB’s video into the VHS.
CUT TO FINGER PUSHING PLAY
The movie begins to play.
CUT TO TOMMY DRIVING UP IN FRONT OF THE HOUSE
He gets out of the car and walks up to the front door of the brides house.
CUT TO FINGER PUSHING DOORBELL
CUT TO FRONT DOOR
The bride begins to open the door
BRIDE
I can’t believe how early you are
CUT TO TOMMY
TOMMY
Thats just the way I am
BRIDE
Come on in.
Tommy walks into the house
CUT TO INSIDE THE HOUSE
BRIDE
Please excuse me while I go freshen up.
The Bride walks up stairs. Tommy looks around and sees a door. He opens it and walks downstairs. He sees BB.
TOMMY
Hello, you must be BB
CUT TO BB
BB screams incredibly loudly and stabs herself in the arm with a knife. Tommy freaks and runs back upstairs.
CUT TO BRIDE
The bride is opening a pixie stick and eating it. She walks out of the bathroom.
CUT TO DOWNSTAIRS
The bride walks up to Tommy stealthfully and gets close to his ear.
BRIDE
Hello Tommy
Tommy jumps slightly and turns around
TOMMY
I think your daughter needs some help. She just stabbed herself in the arm with a knife.
BRIDE
Thats BB
TOMMY
Yea I know
BRIDE
She was the daughter of Bill, the man I killed.
TOMMY
Yea I know
BRIDE
I killed a bunch of people to get to him.
TOMMY
Yea I know
BRIDE
When I found him, I found BB too
TOMMY
Yea I know
She takes out what looks like a cigarette box and pulls out a lolly pop. She puts it in her mouth
BRIDE
She is my daughter
TOMMY
Yea I know
BRIDE
Bill had to put his hoo hoo dilly in my ch......
TOMMY
Yea I know I don’t want to hear it!!!
BRIDE
Would you like to meet bill?
TOMMY
Well he is dead so It would be kind of hard
BRIDE
Yea if he was buried
TOMMY
What do you mean
BRIDE
I kept bill
TOMMY
You mean like you cremated him and put him in a jar?
BRIDE
Come with me
CUT TO TOMMY AND BRIDE WALKING TO A DOOR
She opens the door
CUT TO FRONT OF DOOR
Bill falls out dead and lands on the ground
TOMMY
O my god!!!! You have a dead man in your closet!!!???
BRIDE
Yea. I keep him in there so I can make fun of him
TOMMY
What do you mean?
BRIDE
Watch
The bride picks up bill and puts him back into the closet and closes the door
BRIDE
Where is bill??
TOMMY
You put him in the closet
BRIDE
Bill come out of the closet!!
The bride opens the door and bill falls out. The bride starts laughing hysterically.
BRIDE
He came out of the closet, get it
TOMMY
Yea thats a hoot.
BRIDE
Lets eat.
CUT TO NIKKI WALKING INTO A ROOM
She walks up to a cabinet and opens it. She finds a briefcase. She picks it up and puts it on the table. She opens it to find the head of Ellie Driver.
ELLIE
Hewow Nikki (hello nikki)
NIKKI
Hi
ELLIE
Do you feew waw (do you feel raw)?
NIKKI
Yea I feel raw now
ELLIE
Exewent (excellent). We wiww make hew suffew to hew wast bweaf (we will make her suffer to her last breath). Nikki get me my cigawette (nikki get me my cigarette)
Nikki grabs the cigarette next to ellies head and puts it into her mouth. Ellie takes a drag, drops it and begins to caugh.
ELLIE
Fowirst I have to teach you how to fight wike de bwide (First I have to teach you how to fight like th bride). Wets get stawted (lets get started).
CUT TO A CAR DRIVING
CUT TO INTERIOR OF THE CAR
The bride and Tommy are in the car, Tommy is driving. The car stopps
TOMMY
okay we’re here. I’m not so sure about this. You’re kinda freaking me out.
BRIDE
Don’t be such a clown Charlie Brown
TOMMY
My name is Tommy
BRIDE
Come on Tommy don’t be such a...
The bride makes a shape with her fingers (like in PF where she makes a square with her fingers) only she is unsure of what she is making. She ends up making a bunch of different squiggly lines with her fingers. Tommy is confused
TOMMY
Okay well lets eat
BRIDE
Only you would know
TOMMY
Huh?
The Bride smirks and walks out of the car.
CUT TO INSIDE OF RESTAURANT
Tommy and the bride walk to the outside restaurant area. They are greeted by the host or hostess. He/she walks them to a table. They sit down.
TOMMY
So tell me, why do you keep Bill in your closet.
BRIDE
I don’t want him to hurt me so I have to lock him in there.
TOMMY
But he’s dead
BRIDE
You’re dead!
TOMMY
You’re realy freaking me out
BRIDE
Be That As It May.
The Bride pulls out a cigarette box and opens it. She pulls out a lolly pop and un wraps it.
BRIDE
Do you mind?
TOMMY
No.
The waiter comes up to the table
WAITER
Do you two know what you would like?
BRIDE
You go first.
TOMMY
Okay. I’m going to have the turkey giblets in gravy and a Red Bull.
WAITER
And how about you.
BRIDE
I’m going to have the ocean whitefish and a $5.00 shake.
WAITER
Okay I will be right back with your drinks
the waiter walks away
TOMMY
Did you just order a $5.00 shake
BRIDE
Yea why do you have a problem?
TOMMY
No it’s just that it’s kind of expensive.
BRIDE
So what are you a cheap guy?
TOMMY
I just don’t think it’s right to pay $5.00 for a shake
The waiter returns with the drinks. He puts them on the table. He walks away
TOMMY
Can I see what a $5.00 shake tastes like?
BRIDE
Okay
Tommy takes the glass from the bride and takes a sip of the shake. He immediately throws up a large amount of vomit all over the table. After a few long vomit stages he wipes his mouth and looks up at the bride. She is covered in puke.
BRIDE
I have to go to the powder room.
She gets up from the table and walks away.
CUT TO INSIDE BATHROOM
The bride takes out a pixie stick, opens it, and devours the sugar on the inside. The bride screams very loudly.
CUT TO TABLE
the bride is approaching the table
BRIDE
Don’t you just love it when you come back and your food is here waiting for you?
TOMMY
um. Sure but it’s not here yet.
CUT TO STAGE
A man walks on stage and makes an announcement
ANNOUNCER
Okay everyone it’s time for the individual dance contest. Whose gonna be the first contestant.
CUT TO TABLE
BRIDE
THIS MAN RIGHT HERE!
She points to Tommy.
TOMMY
Are you crazy?
BRIDE
yes
TOMMY
Well I can’t dance!
BRIDE
too bad
ANNOUNCER
Okay get up here!
Tommy takes his red bull and chugs it down. His head begins to move around as if he is possessed.
TOMMY
Okay let’s see what I can do
Tommy goes up to the stage and the music begins to play. He dances through the whole song.
CUT TO INSIDE HOUSE
Tommy and the bride walk in through the door. Tommy comes running in and start running into walls (cause he is all hyped up on red bull).
BRIDE
What are you doing?
TOMMY
Red bull makes me crazy always. I have to take a pee pee.
BRIDE
okay
The bride walks over to her radio and presses play. The song begins to play and she starts dancing and singing to it. She eventually stops dancing and turns the music down. She walks over to the couch where Tommy left his coat. She looks through her pockets and finds a thin plastic tube. She holds it up to the light and sees a powder on the inside. Thinking it is a pixie stick she opens it and devours the sugar on the inside. She sits still for a moment and her eyes begin to jump around. She goes into a realy bad trip.
CUT TO BAD TRIP
CUT TO ROOM
Tommy finds the bride laying on the floor. And begins to scream like a girl. The bride has blood and puss all over her face. Tommy shakes her violently.
CUT TO INSIDE HOUSE
there is a guy sitting in a chair watching t.v. eating cereal. The phone rings. After 2 rings he gets up. After 3 rings someone from the background starts yelling.
BACKGROUND PERSON
THE PHONE IS RINGING!
GUY
I can hear that!
BACKGROUND PERSON
I THOUGHT YOU TOLD THOSE EFFING MO FO’S TO NEVER CALL HERE!
GUY
I did! And thats what I’m going to tell this effing mo fo right now!
He picks up the phone
GUY
Hello?
CUT TO INSIDE OF CAR
TOMMY
Hey man I have a chick tweaking out on me I need your help
CUT TO INSIDE OF HOUSE
GUY
What!? Well don’t bring her here
CUT TO INSIDE OF CAR
TOMMY
sorry no choice
CUT TO INSIDE OF HOUSE
GUY
Are you calling me from a cellular phone?
CUT TO INSIDE OF CAR
TOMMY
Yea why?
CUT TO INSIDE OF HOUSE
GUY
I don’t know you. PRANK CALLER! PRANK CALLER!
He slams the phone down and grabs his hair. Out side you hear a tire screeching and a loud crash. The guy turns around abruptly and runs to the window to look outside.
BACKGROUND PERSON
WHAT THE EFF WAS THAT?!
The guy looks outside the window and runs to his front door.
CUT TO DRIVEWAY
the guy runs out side to the car.
GUY
What the eych are you doing? There are people trying to sleep around here.
Tommy runs to the passenger side door and pulls the bride out of the car.
GUY
What is this?
Tommy drags her toward the front door.
GUY
no way man your not bringing her in my house
TOMMY
Sorry
cut to inside house. Tommy drags the bride in through the door and drops her in the middle of the floor. The person from the background comes stomping out.
LADY
WHAT THE EFF IS GOING ON!?
GUY
Go get my little black medical book!
LADY
WHAT!?
GUY
my little black medical book
the lady stands there in a confused and dazed manner.
GUY
MY EFFING BLACK MEDICAL BOOK! WHAT THE EYCH IS THE MATTER WITH YOU!?
The lady screams loudly and runs off to find the book. The guy runs to his refrigerator and takes out a plastic baggie. He runs back to Tommy and pulls out a rather wide tube and a needle that is about 3 ft long. He attaches the needle to the tube and sticks it inside of a small bottle to suck out the liquid. He sucks all the liquid into the tube and hands the tube to Tommy.
GUY
Here
TOMMY
What?
GUY
I’m not sticking this needle in her.
TOMMY
WHAT ARE YOU DOING SHE’S GONNA DIE ON US.
GUY
HEY! Listen to me. When I bring a dead girl to your house in the middle of the night I will put the needle in her. I’m doing you a favor by letting you into my house.
Tommy takes the tube from the guy.
TOMMY
Okay what do I have to do?
GUY
well you have to get the needle through her breast plate so you have to jab really hard
the guy makes a jabbing motion with his hand. He makes three jabs.
TOMMY
so I have to stab her three times?
GUY
yea of course you do. I wouldn’t have made a three jabbing motion if you didn’t have to stab her three times. DUH!
Tommy raises the needle above the bride and jabs the needle into her chest. She wakes up instantly and Tommy takes the needle out of her chest. He stabs her a second time and she yells. He takes the needle out again and stabs her a third time. She screams and jumps back with the needle going through her chest and out her back. She leans against the seat of the chair breathing heavily.
GUY
if you’re okay say something.
The bride begins singing castle on the cloud in an opera fashion. She stops suddenly and looks confused.
LADY
THAT WAS EFFING TRIPPY!
CUT TO OUTSIDE OF HOUSE
a car drives up and Tommy gets out. He walks over to the passenger side door and lets the bride out. They walk to the front door.
BRIDE
do you want to hear a funny joke?
TOMMY
okay
BRIDE
three tomatoes are walking down the street and the baby tomato is lagging behind. The daddy tomato walks up to him and squishes him. He says to the baby tomato “ketch up”.
The bride smiles lightly and then laughs hysterically. Tommy looks at her in a very confused way.
BRIDE
well Tommy I’ll be seeing you around.
TOMMY
I hope not.
The bride and Tommy both turn around at the same time. The bride walks into her house and Tommy walks into his car. The bride closes the door and Tommy drives away.
CUT TO INSIDE RESTAURANT
subtitle reads 2:30 P.M.
A lady is sitting a a table alone. A man walks up to the table.
MAN
Hi. Are you Sheniqua?
SHENIQUA
Yea. Are you phil?
PHIL
yea
SHENIQUA
I’m a little nervous. This is my first blind date.
PHIL
yea me too
Phil sits down. A waiter comes over.
WAITER
can I get you two anything to drink?
PHIL
I’m just gonna have a salad
SHENIQUA
I will have that as well
WAITER
alright
the waiter walks off
SHENIQUA
so what do you do?
PHIL
well, I am currently unemployed. I just can’t seem to find a place that will hire me. I realy can’t figure it out.
SHENIQUA
Thats strange. But that happens. You just have to keep trying I guess
PHIL
Yea I guess I will go try another town. Cause I have applied to every job possible in this town.
Sheniqua giggles.
PHIL
I’m serious. I have literally applied for every job possible in this town.
SHENIQUA
Oh
sheniqua looks confused. The waiter comes back with their salads. The begin eating.
SHENIQUA
is there anything your good at?
PHIL
well I’m good at drawing
SHENIQUA
well you should look for a profession in drawing.
PHIL
yea maybe
they sit in silence eating their salads for a few moments. Phil gets up and begins screaming loudly. He looks as if there is a serious problem going on. He stops screaming, sits down and starts eating his salad again.
SHENIQUA
what was that?!
PHIL
What?
SHENIQUA
what you just did
PHIL
I didn’t do anything
sheniqua looks at phill in a shocked manner.
CUT TO INSIDE INTERROGATION ROOM
COP
So tell me Dia, why are you bringing all these quarters across the country?
DIA
I’m bringing them to some body
COP
Like who?
DIA
Dick.
COP
Dick?
CUT TO HALLWAY
Dick is walking down the hallway. Eh stops in front of a door and knocks on it. Bellmont opens the door (he has a very high pitched, very annoying voice)
BELLMONT
Hey man I didn’t know you was stoppin by.
DICK
I just wanted to welcome you home
BELLMONT
Man I cannot thank you enough for bailing me out, I owe you man, big time
DICK
That’s one of the reasons why I stopped by. I want you to do me a favor
BELLMONT
Now?
DICK
Yes now
BELLMONT
Can’t we do this another time? It’s late and I just want to enjoy one night of peace and quiet.
DICK
It will be very quick
BELLMONT
I don’t know man
DICK
HEY!. I busted you out of jail. Don’t think I won’t have you put back into jail. Don’t forget, I know about your pixie stick trafficking down in columbia.
BELLMONT
Alright but make it quick
Bellmont exits the appartement and follows dick. The walk down the stairs.
DICK
Thanks for doing this
BELLMONT
yea whatever. So what are we doing?
DICK
I have to sell some weapons to a few Koreans in china town
CUT TO INSIDE OF TRUNK
the trunk is opened and we see bellmont and dick standing next to eachother
DICK
get in
BELLMONT
WHAT?! What do you mean get in?
DICK
I mean get in
BELLMONT
Well can’t I just sit in the front with you?
DICK
When I open this trunk you have to pop out at the Koreans with the gun. You have to shake them up a bit before you just go and sell them a weapon. If you sat in the front, that would ruin the surprise.
BELLMONT
just remember that it cost you $10,000 to get me in the trunk of a car
Bellmont stumbles his way into the trunk. Once he is in dick shuts the trunk door. Bellmont is babbling about someting. Dick walks to the drivers side of the car and enters it. He puts the key in the ignition and turns the car on. He puts a cd in and it begins to play. He grabs a pair of gloves he has in the passenger seat and struggles to put them on.
CUT TO ARIAL SHOT OF THE CAR
the car drives off. It drives slowly around the parking lot. It comes to a stop. The drivers side door opens.
CUT TO SIDE VIEW OF CAR
Dick shuts the car off and exits the car. He walks over to the back of the car. He stands at the trunk and pulls a gun out from his coat pocket. He opens the trunk (you immediately hear the obnoxious babbling coming from the trunk. When the trunk door is fully opened, dick points the gun in the trunks direction and shoots two rounds. Bellmont stops talking. Dick closes the trunk and walks back toward the drivers side door. He enters the car and closes the door. He turns the car on and we hear the music playing from the cd player.
CUT TO ARIAL SHOT OF THE CAR
the car exits the parking lot and drives off screen.
CUT TO LADY DOING A HARDCORE TECHNO DANCE
a rather large lady, named simowne, is doing an extreme techno dance in front of Robert. The phone rings. Simowne stops her dancing, turns down the music and heads toward the phone. She picks it up
SIMOWNE
Hello? Hey dick how are you? Well I’m doing just fine. Yea he’s right here, I’m doing my dance for him. Okay baby.
She turns and looks at robert
SIMOWNE
Robet baby, it’s dick
robert gets up and takes the phone from simowne
ROBERT
Hello?
CUT TO DICK
DICK
He Robert how’s it going
CUT TO ROBERT
ROBERT
It’s going alright
CUT TO DICK
DICK
is simowne doing her show for you?
CUT TO ROBERT
ROBERT
Yea she’s not too bad
CUT TO DICK
DICK
Hey listen, I’m right outside simowne’s house right now. I want you to come out side. I have something to show you.
CUT TO ROBERT
ROBERT
Alright
Robert hangs up the phone and walks off view
CUT TO OUT SIDE
Robert walks out side to meet dick by his car.
ROBERT
Whats up.
CUT TO INSIDE TRUNK
The trunk opens and dick and robert are standing there.
ROBERT
Who’s that?
DICK
That’s Bellmont
ROBERT
Who’s bellmont?
DICK
Bellmont is an employee that I had to let go
ROBERT
O. Okay. Is that all?
DICK
Yea that’s all.
ROBERT
Alright well I’ll see you around.
DICK
Cool
he closes the trunk
CUT TO INSIDE A BAR
you see a close up shot of a man looking slightly off camera. There is a voice talking to him in the background.
VOICE
Let’s make sure we’re clear on this. In the fourth round you will go down. We pay you, and you get out of town.
CUT TO BACK OF MAN’S HEAD
subtitle reads 12:45 P.M.
the man, whose name is Bubba, responds. He has the voice fo a younger child.
BUBBA
What if I say no?
MARCUS
Then I will kill you.
BUBBA
Well why would you want to kill someone? You could get arrested for that. It’s not legal
MARCUS
I don’t care.
BUBBA
Well you should.
MARCUS
So are you gonna go down?
BUBBA
yea
CUT TO DOOR
Lance and Tommy walk in through the door.
MARCUS
Hey guys. I was just discussing our deal with Bubba here.
LANCE
Yea? And what did he say
MARCUS
he said yes.
TOMMY
That was a good answer.
CUT TO STUPID LOOKING CARTOON
a young boy is watching television.
MOTHER
Bubba, there is someone here to see you
Bubba turns around and a man approaches him. He sits down on the sofa in front of Bubba. He begins to talk.
MAN
Hello little boy. My name is colonel Marshmellow. I was a friend of your dad’s in the war. He was a very good man and he died for a good cause. But before he died he made a request. I have something for you Bubba.
Marshmellow pulls a stapler out of his coat pocket.
MARSHMELLOW
This. This stapler belonged to you great grandfather. He found it in a local wal mart. He handed it down to your grandfather who handed it down to your father. Your father went to war and became a POW. He knew that the limeys would confiscate it after the krauts ordered them to. This would lead to destruction of it by the arabs and recycling by the frogs. The japs would not have had it and they would have ordered the hebes to kill him. So you father hid it in the only place he knew they would never find it, in his reh... reh... rectum. Lived for two months with this stapler, up his reh.... reh... rectum. He then gave it to me when he knew he was going to die. He told me “give this to my son”. So I took it and walked around with this kind of comfortable piece of metal up my reh... reh... rectum until I was released from the war. When I got back home I kept it there, up my reh... reh... rectum, for about another two months. Finally when I got here today I took it out and put it in my pocket. And now, I will give it to you.
Marshmellow hands the stapler to Bubba and he grabs it abruptly.
CUT TO SMALL ROOM
Bubba wakes up as if he had a nightmare. He is breathing heavily.
CUT TO BLACK
You hear a radio announcer
ANNOUNCER
Thats it, thats it, the fight is over. And Billy Lee is dead. Bubba was able to realy get a good swing at the last hit. It was good enough to kill Billy. I don’t know where Bubba is now. I think he skidadled as fast as he could because he is no where in sight.
CUT TO ALLEY WAY
Bubba is escaping out of a window. He jumps down onto a trash can and falls. He runs up to a car and gets in the back seat. The car drives away.
CUT TO HALLWAY
Tommy and Lance are angrily walking down the hallway. The come to a door and they open it. Marcus and the bride are sitting in the room. They all have angry looks on their faces.
LANCE
Marcus what the eff is going on?
TOMMY
Hello the bride
BRIDE
Hi Tommy. I never thanked you for dinner.
CUT TO INSIDE THE TAXI
subtitle reads 1:30 P.M.
Bubba is removing his gloves and changing in to he regular clothes. The driver is curious as to what he is doing.
DRIVER
You are that guy.
BUBBA
I don’t know what you’re talking about
DRIVER
The guy on the radio. The fighter
BUBBA
Yea I suppose I am
DRIVER
you killed that other man
BUBBA
Is he dead?
DRIVER
The radio said he was dead. So tell me what does it feel like to kill another man.
BUBBA
I wouldn’t know. I didn’t know he was dead until after.
DRIVER
I have always wanted to kill a man
BUBBA
yea well maybe you should some day.
DRIVER
Well I tried to kill Bill but someone beat me to it.
The vehicle pulls up to a building and stops.
BUBBA
Here’s your fair. And an extra $50 for yourself. Now I have a question. If someone asks you who you picked up tonight, what are you gonna tell them?
DRIVER
It was a realy big black guy.
BUBBA
Good answer. See you around driver
DRIVER
Ta Ta Bubba.
He shuts the door. The car drives away and he approaches the front door of his room.
CUT TO OUTSIDE
ellie’s head and nikki are still training
CUT TO RESTAURANT
a waitress is walking across the room with a pitcher of water. The subtitle reads 2:45 P.M. the waitress goes up to a table and asks if they want water. She pours the water and turns around. She throws the pitcher of water across the room.
WAITRESS
I HATE MY JOB! I WISH I DIDN’T HAVE IT SO MUCH!
The waitress freezes.
CUT TO OFFICE
chuck grape is sitting I his office staring at the ceiling. Dick walks in through the door
DICK
what up chuck?
CHUCK
Nothing I was just admiring my ceiling. What can I do you for?
DICK
$10.00
CHUCK
What?
DICK
um.., nothing. I need another bond
CHUCK
For Bellmont?
DICK
Nah, Bellmont is dead
CHUCK
Yea I heard. They found him in the trunk of a car
DICK
Yea I put him there
CHUCK
WHAT!?
DICK
Huh?
CHUCK
What did you say?
DICK
what?
CHUCK
Huh?
DICK
Huh?
CHUCK
What?
DICK
I need a bond for my friend Dia.
CHUCK
What did she do?
DICK
Well, they busted her for coming into America with a bunch of quarters.
CHUCK
Alright hold on
Chuck reaches into his file cabinet and pulls out a paper that says “coming into America with a lot of quarters”
CHUCK
Here you are. I just have to find the ink stamp so this can be a certified document.
Chuck stands up. His raging erection is sticking out and chuck is knocking things over with it. He walks up to dick (with his erection sticking straight in his face)
CHUCK
Say Dick have you seen an inkpad?
DICK
No sorry
CHUCK
O well. I will just sign the paper.
Chuck sits down and sigNs the paper.
CHUCK
Ok dick I will take care of it tonight
DICK
ok thank you
Dick gets up and runs out the door
CUT TO OUTSIDE OF PRISON
Chuck walks up to the booth in front of the prison.
CHUCK
Hey Rick.
RICK
Hey chuck. You bailing someone out today?
CHUCK
You bet your tuckus
RICK
Are you armed?
CHUCK
You bet your tuckus
Chuck pulls out a massive amount of weapons from his pockets.
CHUCK
Here you go Rick
RICK
Thank you. I’m going to push the button now cause I am payed to push buttons
CHUCK
Okay
Rick pushes the button and the gate opens. Chuck walks through the open area
CUT TO DOOR
dia walks out of the door and toward chuck.
CHUCK
Hello. I’m chuck grape
DIA
hello I’m Dia Rea Brown.
CHUCK
Excuse me? I thaught you said your name was dia rea brown
DIA
Yea I did. That is my full name. But you can just call me dia
CHUCK
Well let’s get you home shall we?
DIA
Sure
Dia and chuck walk toward the car. Chuck gets in the drivers side and dia in the passengers side. The car drives off.
CUT TO INSIDE CAR
Dia is looking down toward chuck’s pants. She has a frightened look on her face.
CUT TO ERECTION
CUT TO DIA’S FACE
CUT TO ERECTION
CUT TO DIA’S FACE
CUT TO ERECTION
CUT TO DIA’S FACE
CUT TO ERECTION
CUT TO DIA’S FACE
DIA
Chuck, can I ask you a personal question?
CHUCK
yes dia
DIA
Why are you pitching a tent?
CHUCK
What do you mean? I don’t like camping.
DIA
No I mean that thing.
Dia points at chuck’s erection
CHUCK
Oh. That’s just an erectile dysfunction pill malfunction. It never goes away
DIA
How long has it been like that?
CHUCK
Oh golly gosh I have to say 3 years now.
DIA
Well that’s quite impressive
Chuck smirks and begins to cough aggressively.
CUT TO FRONT OF HOUSE
chuck’s car pulls to the front of dia’s house. They both get out of the car.
CHUCK
If there are ever any problems dia, just give me a call
DIA
Ok thank you chuck for all your help
CHUCK
Are you gonna be alright
DIA
yea I just need to get some sleep
CHUCK
Ok well goodnight
dia walks off to her front door. Chuck begins to cough aggressively again. He gets in his car and waits for dia to get into the house. When she approaches the front door she turns around and waves to chuck. He waves back and drives off.
CUT TO INSIDE CAR
dick is sitting in his dark car with no lights on. He can see dia waving to chuck. He watches chuck drive off. He begins to apply his leather gloves.
CUT TO INSIDE HOUSE
dia is approaching her answering machine. She pushes the button. And fixes herself a drink
MACHINE
you have 3 new messages.
Message one.
Hey dia it’s Jackie. Hey I just wanted to let you know that the party is on Thursday. Be sure to bring your whip, gimp suit, and handcuffs. It’s gonna be some party. See ya.
Message two.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! PLEASE HELP! IF YOU ARE THERE PLEASE CALL THE POLICE! HE’S GONNA KILL ME! MY ADDRESS IS 185 MA................... BEEP!
Message three.
Hey Dia it’s dick. Hey I heard you’re getting out of jail. Call me up later. I have something I want to sow you.
End of messages.
Dia walks to the doorway and turns the kitchen light off. There is a knock at the door. She goes over to the door and opens it.
CUT TO DOORWAY
dick is standing in the doorway.
DICK
Hey dia. It’s been a while
DIA
Dick.
DICK
well aren’t you gonna invite me in
DIA
Sure. Come on in.
Dick walks through the doorway.
DIA
do you want something to drink?
DICK
A red Bull would be nice
Dia walks over and retrieves a red bull for dick. She hands it to him. He violently guzzles the liquid.
DIA
hey I want to thank you for bailing me out.
DICK
oh no problem
DIA
I also want to thank you for getting me arrested.
DICK
Hey that wasn’t my fault
DIA
Oh come on dick you wanted me to bring those quarters back to America. You’re just too caught up in your guns to think about others. You’re not willing to take the risk for yourself.
DICK
Alright just chill out Dia. It’s gonna be alright now. Just take a seat.
He takes dia by the shoulders and guides her to the couch. She sits down. Dick walks over to the light switch and dims the light until all that can be seen is the light from outside the window.
DICK
Listen dia. You know you’re one of my favorite people but sometimes I have to lose those people.
You hear a gun being cocked.
DICK
Is that a gun against my pee pee?
DIA
You bet your gosh darn rear end it is.
DICK
What are you doing dia?
DIA
I’m defending myself. Another move and you will no longer have your pride.
DICK
Okay Dia let’s negotiate.
DIA
Okay you drop your gun and I drop mine.
DICK
I don’t know if I can drop my gun. It’s been attached to my body since I was born. Plus you’re holding it up with your weapon.
DIA
Your other gun idiot.
DICK
O well this thing in my hand is not my gun it is my weapon
DIA
well whatever. Just drop it!
DICK
okay
you hear the gun hit the floor.
DICK
okay now drop yours
you hear another gun hit the floor
DIA
Go turn the light back on please
Dick walks over and turns the lights on.
DIA
now if you don’t mind dick. I would like to get some sleep.
DICK
Sure. See you around Dia.
DIA
I sure hope not
dick walks toward the door and dia escorts him out. He exits the house and dia closes the door.
FADE OUT OF DOOR
FADE INTO DOOR
there is a knock at the door. It is opened. Chuck grape is standing there.
DIA
Hey chuck. I suppose you want your gun back
CHUCK
Yea
DIA
Sorry I took it but I just felt safer with it last night
CHUCK
you can keep it
DIA
No I got one now.
They sit in silence
DIA
Do you want some coffee?
CHUCK
Yea sure
Dia walks over and pours a cup of coffee for chuck. She hands it to chuck and walks over to the cd player. She sorts through the cd’s. she finds one and puts it in the cd player. It begins playing.
CHUCK
Who is this?
DIA
it’s the new Cher
CHUCK
It’s really good.
DIA
it’s one of my favorites
they sit for a moment listening to the music
CHUCK
Well I have to go. I just wanted to stop by to get the gun
DIA
weapon!
CHUCK
Huh?
DIA
your weapon. That’s your gun
she points at chucks crotch
CHUCK
Garcon means boy.
He leaves the house
CUT TO INSIDE RESTAURANT
subtitle reads 2:50 P.M.
a man and a woman are sitting across from each other.
MAN
So why did you want me to come here?
WOMAN
I have something that I have to tell you
MAN
And what would that be?
The man takes a sip of his coffee
WOMAN
I’m pregnant
the man spits his coffee out
MAN
What did you say?
The man sips his coffee again
WOMAN
I’m pregnant
the man spits out his coffee again
MAN
How could this happen?
He sips
WOMAN
Well, you didn’t do it
he spits
MAN
what do you mean?
He sips
WOMAN
it’s not your baby
he spits
MAN
Oh my god! Are you serious?
He sips
WOMAN
yes
he spits
he raises his hand
MAN
yo woman!. I need some coffee!
The waitress comes over and pours the coffee.
MAN
The coffee is kinda stale tasting
WAITRESS
realy?
MAN
Yea. Taste it
the waitress picks up a clean cup from the table and pours a little bit of coffee in it. She takes a sip
MAN
I just found out that my wife is pregnant
the waitress spits out her coffee
WAITRESS
No Way!. Congratulations!
She takes another sip
MAN
it’s not my baby though
she spits
WAITRESS
what!?
The man and the waitress both sip their coffee
WOMAN
um. There is one more thing. The man I had it with was a Pakistani.
The man and the waitress both spit their coffee. Someone comes out of no where and spits their coffee. Another person comes out of nowhere and spits their coffee.
ALL COFFEE SPITTERS
O MY GOD!!!!
CUT TO ROOM
B.B. is playing with Lego’s . She gets up and heads to the bathroom. She finds the medicine cabinet and opens it. She finds a package of sweet tarts. She takes one out and eats it. She stands still for a moment. She exits the bathroom.
CUT TO BB’S PERSPECTIVE
her vision is sort of blurry and dream like. she walks around the corner and sees a strange man in a trench coat.
MAN
Hello little girl. Would you like to go to a party?
She nods her head
MAN
Well come with me.
He holds his hand out and bb grabs it. They walk to the front door and they exit the house. They walk to the mans car. He opens the door for her. She gets in. The man walks around to the drivers side. He gets in and takes out a tube of modeling glue and a paper bag. He pours the glue in the bag. He hands it to BB
MAN
Here BB. Breathe from this bag for a few minutes. Itl make you feel good.
BB grabs the bag and begins to breathe from it. Her vision slowly darkens. Her eyes close.
CUT O BLACKNESS
VOICE
BB......... BB. Wake up BB.
Her eyes open slowly. When completely open her vision begins to improve. You can see the man and a woman standing in front of her.
MAN
When did she say she was going to be here?
WOMAN
She should be here any time now.
You hear the sound of a door slamming.
VOICE
Hey guys! Sorry I’m late!
A figure begins to walk down the stairs. It is Dia Brown. In her hand is a set of hand cuffs, a black leather suit, and a leather whip.
DIA
I had to get this suit dry cleaned. It was so filthy.
She looks toward BB and puts a surprised look on her face.
DIA
What is she doing here!?
MAN
I went into her house and took her.
DIA
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?
MAN
what?
DIA
THAT”S BB. SHE IS THE DAUGHTER OF THE BRIDE
MAN
THE BRIDE!!!!!!!??????????
DIA
yes the bride. I’m getting her out of here before Marcus finds you guys.
Just then a man walks down the stairs with a sword.
MARCUS
Too late
Marcus walks up to the man and stabs him in the stomach. The man falls to the ground.
MARCUS
Dia. Get BB out of here and take her to a safe place.
Dia takes BB and the both walk up the stairs. You hear a deathly scream of a woman in the background. Dia opens the front door of the building
CUT TO OUTSIDE
Dia and BB walk off camera view.
CUT TO INSIDE POLICE STATION
the officer is sitting in his chair eating a powdered doughnut. Dia comes rushing in with BB.
DIA
Do you have any information on this girls mother
the officer responds with a mouth full of doughnut
OFFICER
Who’s her mother?
DIA
The Bride
the officer jumps and lets the doughnut fall out of his mouth
OFFICER
THE BRIDE!!!???
DIA
yes the bride. She is never around. BB is constantly getting mixed up with the wrong things.
OFFICER
Well, don’t worry about that right now.
DIA
Why?
OFFICER
because there is something more important for you to worry about
DIA
like what?
OFFICER
your friend Dick
DIA
what about him?
OFFICER
Something isn’t right about him
DIA
What do you mean?
OFFICER
Well, something just seems strange about him. I think we should do some work on him.
DIA
what kind of work?
OFFICER
like undercover work
DIA
how do we go about doing that?
OFFICER
well... he likes quarters. So we can start by getting you into another quarter transporting deal with him.
DIA
alright
OFFICER
If we can catch him with the quarters, we can bust him.
DIA
what do we do?
OFFICER
I will call you later tonight to tell you what is going on. Be prepared to do it tomorrow
DIA
okay
OFFICER
so right now just go home and relax
DIA
Alright
dia gets up and exits the police station. BB has disappeared.
CUT TO FRONT OF BAIL BONDS OFFICE
Dia walks through the door
DIA
hey chuck
CHUCK
Dia. What are you doing here?
DIA
Something is going down
CHUCK
what do you mean?
DIA
the police want to bust dick. They’re gonna try to catch him with a bunch of quarters. I’m thinking that if I can do this right, and with a little help from you, we can walk away with a pretty hefty sum of quarters.
CHUCK
When is this happening?
DIA
the practice run is tomorrow. The officer is planing it out right now. He’s gonna call me tonight to tell me what to do tomorrow.
CHUCK
okay. When you are finished talking to him call me up and we will find a place to put myself in this whole event.
DIA
sounds good. I will call you tonight
Dia walks out of the building. Chuck turns in his chair and presses play on his cd player. The new Cher song starts playing.
CUT TO LANCE ON THE PHONE
sub title reads 12:00 P.M.
Lance is on the phone listening to the person talking
LANCE
okay sounds good. I’ll see you later
he hangs up the phone
TOMMY
who was that?
LANCE
that was Marcus. He’s having a get together at the café. He invited us. Everyone else is supposed to be there as well.
TOMMY
like who?
LANCE
like the bride, her daughter, Dick, Millie, Robert
TOMMY
that sounds like fun
LANCE
We’re gonna meet Marcus at the bar after we give Rico a ride home. He is gonna be talking to bubba about throwing the fight.
TOMMY
o yea the fight is gonna be starting soon.
LANCE
yea no worries man. We’re gonna be able to see the man fall in the fourth round. But before we go to that whole thing, we have to give Rico a ride home.
He looks over to a man sitting in the corner.
LANCE
Are you ready to go Rico?
RICO
yea
he gets up and the three of them all exit the house
CUT TO INSIDE CAR
Lance is driving and talking about a quarter pounder with cheese
LANCE
As I said before they call it a royale with cheese in France because of the metric system.
TOMMY
I thought I told you that
LANCE
No man. I told you that
TOMMY
No it was definitely me.
LANCE
No me
TOMMY
No me
LANCE
No me
Tommy turns around and talks to Rico with his gun pointing at him.
TOMMY
Rico, what do you think of all this?
RICO
Man I don’t have any idea what’s going on
TOMMY
well you must have an opinion. I mean
CUT TO OUTSIDE CAR
you hear four gun shots.
CUT TO INSIDE CAR
Lance and Tommy are covered in blood
LANCE
MAN. WHAT DID YOU JUST DO??!!
TOMMY
I accidentally shot Rico in the face four times
LANCE
HOW DID YOU ACCIDENTALLY SHOOT HIM IN THE FACE FOUR TIMES?
TOMMY
I don’t know I just slipped on the trigger I guess
LANCE
well for some strange reason the blood only got on us. Let’s get Rico to his house and put him in the bath tub or something. Then we can just borrow some clothes from him
TOMMY
this was an expensive suit
LANCE
yea and now it’s an expensive piece of trash
they reach the house and take Rico out of the car.
CUT TO INSIDE HOUSE
They bring Rico inside and put him in his bath tub. They exit the bathroom and go to Rico’s bedroom. The look through the bureaus and take what’s on the top.
CUT TO LANCE AND TOMMY EXITING THE ROOM IN DRESS DOWN CLOTHES
they walk off view
CUT TO INSIDE HOUSE
subtitle reads “two nights before”
Dia is sitting on her couch. Her phone rings. She picks it up
CUT TO OFFICER
OFFICER
Hey dia it’s me.
CUT TO DIA
DIA
Hey what’s the scoop?
CUT TO OFFICER
OFFICER
okay. You’re gonna go to the food court of the mall. I will equipt you with a bag. There will be a few quarters in it. You will be approached by a young lady. You will make an exchange with her. She will give you a bag that look like the one you have. Your job right now is to call dick and tell him that you have more money for him. Tell him your plan and get him to set up the young lady. And remember that this is only a test run.
CUT TO DIA
DIA
alright. I will call dick right now
CUT TO OFFICER
OFFICER
good luck dia
CUT TO DIA
DIA
yea thanks
she hangs up the phone. She dials a few numbers.
CUT TO RINGING PHONE
chuck picks up the phone
CHUCK
Hello?
CUT TO DIA
DIA
Chuck it’s dia
CUT TO CHUCK
CHUCK
Do we have a plan?
CUT TO DIA
DIA
yea. Here’s how it’s gonna go down. *I’m gonna call dick after I’m done talking to you. He is gonna get someone to...
FADE OUT
*fade out is in process during this dialogue
CUT TO INSIDE MALL
there is a sort of scared looking girl sitting at a table eating pizza.
CUT TO DIA WALKING
dia is walking toward the table. She walks up to the girl
DIA
Hello. Do you mind if I sit here?
The girl nods her head. Dia takes a seat and puts her bag down
CUT TO TWO BAGS
dia’s bag is placed next to a similar bag
CUT TO TWO SHOT
dia is drinking a cup of coffee.
DIA
So whats your name?
GIRL
Laniksha
DIA
Laniksha? Thats a very pretty name
LANIKSHA
thank you
DIA
remember to take my bag when you’re done laniksha
Laniksha begins to get up
DIA
no, no. please finish your food.
Laniksha starts eating
DIA
So do you live around here?
LANIKSHA
Yes’m I live in Crompton. It’s full of gangsters and drug dealers
DIA
Oh. That sounds nice
Laniksha gets up
LANIKSHA
It was nice talking to you
DIA
It was nice talking to you too.
CUT TO BAGS
laniksha grabs dia’s bag
CUT TO LANIKSHA
she walks away from the table
CUT TO DICK
he is watching Laniksha walking away from the table
CUT TO THE OFFICER
he is watching Laniksha walking away from the table.
CUT TO CHUCK
he is walking out of a store. He stops to see the officer behind a tree. And dick in front of a food area. He sees Laniksha walking away. He begins to walk and takes the corner. The instant chuck is out of sight dick looks over in that area. Dick begins to walk in the opposite direction. The officer walks off view.
CUT TO INSIDE HOUSE
Dia is walking through her door with a bag of groceries. Her phone is ringing. She rushes to put her bag down. She picks up her phone
DIA
Hello?
CUT TO DICK
DICK
hey Dia. That went a lot smoother than I thaught. I think it should go realy well tomorrow. Now it’s gonna be a little different. You’re still gonna make the exchange at the food court, but that’s only gonna be half of the money. The second exchange will be in the dressing room of GASH. Millie is going to make a second exchange with you. So you’re gonna have two bags. One for the food court and one for the dressing room.
CUT TO DIA
DIA
Why , may I ask, are we doing this?
CUT TO DICK
DICK
because if you or someone else gets busted, only half of the money will be gone. I would rather have half of it than none of it.
CUT TO DIA
DIA
okay. Good plan. I’ll see you tomorrow dick
CUT TO DICK
DICK
Peace Dia
he hangs up the phone.
CUT TO DIA
dia hangs up the phone. She picks it back up and dials a number.
CUT TO PHONE RINGING
chuck picks up the phone
CHUCK
Hello?
CUT TO DIA
DIA
Chuck. Listen there are a few alterations dick made, but I think they will help us even more.
CUT TO CHUCK
CHUCK
Okay what are they
CUT TO DIA
DIA
*after I make the swap at the food court I’m going to go into the dressing room
FADE OUT
*fade out is in process during this dialogue
CUT TO DOOR BUZZER
a finger pushes the button next to the word “DICK”. There is a buzzing noise
CUT TO MILLIE NEXT TO A VOICE BOX
MILLIE
who is it?
CUT TO DIA’S LIPS NEXT TO VOICE BOX
DIA
Dia Rea Brown.
There is a buzzing noise
CUT TO DIA ENTERING BUILDING
the subtitle reads 11:30 A.M.
CUT TO DOOR
Dick is arguing with Millie.
MILLIE
This is B.S. I’m going to wal mart.
She runs into another room. Dia enters through the door.
DICK
Hey dia
DIA
hey. Who was that on the intercom?
DICK
Oh that was Millie, WHO WAS JUST LEAVING!!
Millie comes stomping out of the room and out of the door.
DIA
whats her problem?
DICK
Oh she just wants in on the whole quarter thing. She’s just P.O.’d cause I have simowne helping me out and not her.
DIA
wait! Simowne is helping?
DICK
Yea
DIA
what about that other girl
DICK
she’s no good. She’ll blow our cover
DIA
Alright, if you say so. So is everything all set?
DICK
yea fow show.
DIA
alright, well I guess I will be seeing you at the mall
DICK
cool
Dia turns and exits the appartement
CUT TO FOOD COURT
subtitle reads 12:45 P.M.
Simowne is sitting by herself in a chair eating a burger. Dia walks over to the table behind her and sits down. They are back to back. Dia puts down the bag similar to simowne’s. After a few moments, simowne gets up and takes the bag dia left. After a few more moments, dia gets up and takes the bag simowne left. She walks off view
CUT TO STORE
Robert and Millie are looking at clothes in the corner of the store by the dressing room. Dia walks into view. She is looking at a suit. A woman comes over
WOMAN
Can I help you?
DIA
yes, could I try on this suit?
WOMAN
of course
DIA
thank you
dia takes the suit and walks into the dressing room area. She enters the cubicle and places her bag on the seat. She takes the beach towels off the top of the bag and pulls out another bag. She takes some books that are in the other bag and places them into the new bag. She then puts a few quarters into the bag. She then stacks the towels on top of them. She stacks the towels on top of the one with all the money in it as well.
CUT TO BOTTOM OF DRESSING ROOM DOOR
two feet stand in front of the door
DIA
Millie?
MILLIE
yea.
Dia takes the bag with the books and slides it under the door.
MILLIE
Thank you
the feet walk away . Dia begins to un button her shirt
CUT TO STORE
you see Millie stomping out of the dressing room area with a bag in her hands. She walks out of the store with robert right behind her. Chuck is in the corner watching the whole event. Dia comes out in the suit.
WOMAN
wow that looks great.
DIA
can I pay for this in cash?
WOMAN
yea sure.
DIA
is it alright if I wear this out of the store? I’m kind of in a rush
WOMAN
sure
dia opens her wallet. The cash register shows $225. 00. Dia pulls out $300.00. She hands it to the woman and starts to walk away panickingly.
WOMAN
Hey wait! Your change!
DIA
o yea
she goes back to get her change
DIA
oh by the way. Someone left a bag of beach towels in the last room.
WOMAN
oh ok.
Dia has a panicked look on her face. She starts to walk away. She walks off view. A few moments later, chuck walks from the corner of the store and up to the counter.
CHUCK
excuse me, my wife thinks she left a bag of beach towels in the back room.
WOMAN
yea I think they’re back there. There’s no one back there just go get them.
CHUCK
ok thank you.
He walks into the dressing room area and enters the cubicle. He sees the bag and grabs it. He walks back out.
CHUCK
I got it thank you
the woman smiles and nods and drools. He walks off view
CUT TO DIA WALKING FRANTICALLY ACROSS THE MALL
she is nervously walking. She becomes worse with every step. She eventually falls to the ground and begins to cry. You see that the whole time she was walking on a huge pile of onions. The officer comes running up to her
OFFICER
are you alright?
DIA
yea
OFFICER
did everything go alright?
DIA
yea of course.
CUT TO PARKING LOT
Robert and Millie are walking through the parking lot trying to find the car.
MILLIE
Where is it?
ROBERT
I don’t effing know!
MILLIE
I told you you would forget where we parked
robert halts, turns around and looks at Millie
ROBERT
Just be quiet okay?
MILLIE
ooooo. Mr. Tough guy is getting aggravated. Where’s the car robert? Is it here. How about here, is that it. NOPE!
Robert turns around and shoots Millie in the stomach. She drops to the ground. He walks to the next isle of cars and sees his car.
ROBERT
see I told you I knew where it was
he tries to turn the car on but struggles. Finally the car starts. He drives away.
CUT TO OUTSIDE BUILDING
subtitle reads 1:10 P.M.
Robert’s car is parked outside a building. Dick walks out and enters the car.
CUT TO INSIDE OF CAR.
DICK
hey robert
ROBERT
hey
DICK
how did everything go?
ROBERT
good
dick looks in the back seat
DICK
where’s Millie?
ROBERT
she’s not here
DICK
I know she’s not here. Where is she?
ROBERT
well she was getting on my nerves. She just kept yapping and yapping in my ear she wouldn’t shut up “robet is this the car? Is this the car robert? Is this it robert?”
DICK
So what did you do about it?
ROBERT
Well, I shot her
DICK
come again?
ROBERT
I shot her
DICK
you shot Millie?
ROBERT
yea
DICK
what the eff is wrong with you?
ROBERT
sorry
DICK
SORRY!!??. you know what robert. I’m sorry. I’m sorry it had to come down to this. You used to be a realy good companion robert. But now, I’m afraid I have to let you go.
Dick takes out his gun and shoots robert in the stomach. He falls over.
CUT TO OUTSIDE OF CAR
dick exits the car. He walks off view.
CUT TO NIKKI TRAINING
subtitle reads 1:30 P.M.
CUT TO INSIDE RESTAURANT
subtitle reads 1:55 P.M.
Marcus is sitting at a booth with the bride and BB. Tommy and lance walk in and sit down. Moments later, dia walks in and sits down.
MARCUS
where’s dick?
DIA
I’m not sure
TOMMY
I can’t believe that effing mo fo didn’t throw the fight.
LANCE
I have to go to the bathroom
he gets up and walks off view. Moments later, dick walks in
DICK
hey guys. I can’t stay but I just wanted to see dia.
He looks over to dia
DICK
good job today dia.
DIA
thank you
DICK
byee
dick leaves the restaurant. Moments later, lance returns to the table. Everyone is sitting in silence
FADE OUT
FADE IN
subtitle reads 2:29 P.M.
everyone is eating their food.
TOMMY
so what are we gonna do Marcus
MARCUS
I don’t know. I’m still thinking about that.
CUT TO EVENT AT 2:30 P.M. IN RESTAURANT
CUT BACK TO TABLE
LANCE
you have to do something
they all sit there in silence
FADE OUT
FADE IN
subtitle reads 2:49 P.M.
CUT TO EVENT AT 2:50 P.M. IN RESTAURANT
CUT TO TABLE
everyone is looking in the direction of the noise
DIA
there are some weird things going on in here today
BRIDE
you don’t know me.
DIA
I know I don’t
BRIDE
then get out of my life
BB
hey.... heh.... HEY! Have you ever seen that movie where he’s like “everybody freeze this is a robbery”
BRIDE
SHUT UP BB!!!!!
CUT TO ENGLISH PEOPLE TALKING.
This is the first scene in the movie. The fight scene will engage between Chuck Norris and the customers.
Once every one is dead, the view is panned over to the booth. Lance and Tommy stand up with their guns in their hands.
LANCE
YO NORRIS!!!
Chuck Norris turns around and looks at Tommy and lance. Tommy and lance raise their guns and both fire rounds at chuck. He falls and dies. When he dies, Marcus stands up
MARCUS
I know what to do. Tommy you go to Bubba’s house and wait for him there. When he shows up, pop a cap on him.
TOMMY
okay.
Tommy leaves the restaurant. BB and the bride get up and leave as well.
LANCE
Dia there is a situation going on
DIA
what do you mean?
LANCE
you have something of mine
DIA
what?
LANCE
I’m not really lance
DIA
what do you mean?
Lance takes off his wig and beard to reveal that he is really dick.
DIA
Dick?
DICK
that’s right. I used Lance as my alter ego.
DIA
what about your speech impediment?
DICK
I made all that up. But thats not the problem right now. Right now the problem is that you have my quarters.
Dia screams and runs out of the restaurant.
DICK
I’M GONNA FIND YOU. YOU STUPID “B”
MARCUS
I suppose I will just walk off now
Marcus shuffles away from view. Dick stands there with a confused look on his face
FADE OUT
CUT TO BUBBA ENTERING HIS HOTEL ROOM
subtitle reads 3:30 P.M.
He turns the light on. There is a lady sitting laying on his bed. She has a German accent.
LADY
turn acht light ouff.
BUBBA
Oh sorry
he turns the light off. He walks toward the bed and sits down.
LADY
how was acht fight?
BUBBA
you didn’t hear it?
LADY
I never listen to acht fights.
BUBBA
well, it went well. We’re gonna be rich
LADY
can we go to bora bora
BUBBA
you bet ya
LADY
fun. I’m going to brush mein teith.
She gets up to go to the bathroom. Bubba lays down on the bed. The lady is followed into the bathroom. She begins to brush her teeth. She comes out of the bathroom to ask bubba a question
LADY
bubba? .....
He is asleep on the bed
LADY
never mind
she goes back to brushing her teeth
FADE OUT
FADE IN
it is morning. She is still brushing her teeth. Bubba wakes up very quickly and violently. He hears a lot of noise from the tv
LADY
Bubba. Acht you okay?
BUBBA
what are you watching
there is a scene from pulp fiction on the tv screen.
LADY
acht gun movie
BUBBA
well turn it off
bubba gets up to get his stapler. He searches through his bag. He can not find the stapler
BUBBA
where’s my stapler?
LADY
it should be there
BUBBA
yes it very well should be but where is it? Didi you pack it?
LADY
I think so
BUBBA
you think so. Either you did or you didn’t
LADY
Then I did
BUBBA
WELL WHERE IS IT!!??
LADY
it’s there
BUBBA
IT’S NOT HERE WHICH MEANS YOU FORGOT TO PACK IT WHICH MEANS I HAVE TO GO GET IT WHICH MEANS I WILL BE IN DANGER!!!!!!
LADY
won’t the gangsters be looking for you
BUBBA
YES!!!!!!!!!
She begins to cry
BUBBA
SHUT UP!!!!!
He grabs his coat and runs out the door.
CUT TO INSIDE CAR
bubba is behind the wheel.
BUBBA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CUT TO OUTSIDE OF CAR
you can hear bubba screaming from the outside of the car
CUT TO PARKING LOT
he pulls into a parking space. He gets out and walks across the street. He walks through some hedges and into another yard. He enters a building. He walks down a hallway and stops at a door. He takes a key out and unlocks the door. He enters the appartement. He looks around for anyone in the house. He walks into his bedroom. He finds the stapler and puts it into his pocket. He walks into the kitchen. He assumes there is no one in the house. He opens his cabinet and takes out a box of pop tarts. He places the pop tart into the toaster. He pushes the lever down. He begins to crumple the wrapper when he looks over to see an enormous gun lying on his counter. He walks over to it and picks it up. When he picks it up he hears the toilette flushing in the bathroom behind him. He points the gun toward the door. The door opens and Tommy walks out. He looks up and sees bubba standing there with the gun in his hands. He stares at him in silence. He stares as if he knows his time has come to an end
CUT TO TOASTER
the pop tart pops out of the toaster
CUT TO BUBBA
bubba immediately fires the gun and shoots Tommy dead. The smoke alarm goes off. Bubba walks out of the kitchen and out of the appartement. He walks all the way back to his car. He gets in and drives off. He drives to a cross walk. People are crossing the crosswalk. One of those people are Marcus. He looks over and sees bubba.
MARCUS
YOU MO FO !!!!!
Bubba steps on the gas
CUT TO OUTSIDE OF CAR
he hits Marcus. Marcus rolls over the top of the car. He lies dead on the ground as bubba drives away. People go up to Marcus to see if he is alright. One lady checks his pulse
LADY
HE’S DEAD!!
Her and everyone else scream and run away.
CUT TO OUTSIDE OF HOTEL
bubba pulls up on a bicycle.
BUBBA
HEY HO!!!
The lady comes running out. She gets on the pegs.
LADY
where’s my car?
BUBBA
I got rid of it
LADY
Why
BUBBA
I don’t know
he rides the bike off view
CUT TO OUTSIDE OF HOUSE
Chuck walks up to the front door of the house and knocks. The door opens and dick is standing there.
CHUCK
you called?
DICK
yea. I just wanted to let you know that I have a feeling you’re in on this whole quarter stealing thing.
CHUCK
Dick, I’m just a bondsman. I don’t get myself involved with those things.
DICK
well you better not be lying. Cause I’ll make sure you’re gone fo eva.
CHUCK
Fo eva eva?
DICK
Fo eva eva eva
CHUCK
Fo rizzle?
DICK
no dizzle
CHUCK
well actually Dia brought your quarters down to the station. She wanted me to give them to you.
DICK
okay. Hand them over
CHUCK
they’re at the station. Just come down with me.
DICK
alright
chuck and dick walks toward chucks car. The get in. The car drives away.
CUT TO INSIDE BAIL BONDS OFFICE
subtitle reads 1 hour earlier.
Chuck is standing in the office with dia.
DIA
I’m very nervous. Dick would kill somebody to get those quarters. Including me.
CHUCK
I know. But don’t worry about it. I’m gonna bring him down here. I’m gonna have the officer waiting in the back room. When he comes in, they will take him down.
DIA
Are you sure this is gonna work?
CHUCK
if he so much as lays a finger on you I will shoot him dead. So just sit in my seat. And wait for us.
DIA
okay
she goes over and sits down at chuck’s desk. Chuck exits the building.
FADE OUT
FADE IN
subtitle reads 1 hour later
dia is sitting in the chair. There is a gun in the drawer below her. She is practicing her quick moves to pull the gun out and aim it in front of her. She does this a few times. She gets up and turns the lights off in the office. She sits back down and waits. Moments later, lights from a car illuminate the office.
CUT TO INSIDE CAR
dick momentarily turns the radio on. The new Cher song is playing.
DICK
I didn’t know you liked the new Cher
CHUCK
it’s pretty good
they sit and listen to the song for a moment. Dick then shuts the radio off.
DICK
listen. If I walk in there, and there are a bunch of cops hanging around. You’re the first person I’m gonna kill. So if they’re in there, tell me now.
CHUCK
don’t worry. It’s empty
they exit the car and walk up to the front door. Dick gets there first and waits for chuck. When chuck gets there, dick gives him a serious look. He opens the door and walks in.
DICK
hey why is it so dark in here?
Chuck flicks the lights on. Dick imideatley sees dia sitting at the desk
DICK
hey dia
DIA
dick
just then the officer comes out of a room from the back. And stands there in silence. Dick stares back
DICK
you mo fo
DIA
WATCH OUT HE’S GOT A GUN!!!
The officer pulls out his gin and shoots dick dead. He falls to the ground. Dia looks away in disgust.
CUT TO DICK
the camera zooms in on dick lying dead on the ground. He has a small strand of blood coming out of his mouth and down his cheek.
FADE TO BLACK
CUT TO BB
BB is watching her favorite movie. The part that she is watching is the part of the movie that just happened. Dick gets shot by the officer.
CUT TO VCR
a finger pushes the eject button. The tape comes out. The hand throws the tape on the ground. You see a bat raising in the air. It hits the tape and breaks it into pieces. BB looks at the broken tape in shock. She looks up at the person
CUT TO NIKKI
nikki is standing there with an evil look on her face. BB is doing the same.
BB
let me get ready
Nikki turns around and walks away. BB enters a montage of her getting ready. She dresses in a warrior type outfit. She no longer looks like BB. She does not have the Afro. She simply has the curly black hair in pigtails. She starts walking down the street. There is a back and forth cutting of BB and Nikki walking down the street. They both eventually end up facing eachother. They begin to fight. The scene lasts a while. At one point you think Nikki has won the battle. She begins to walk away from the scene when BB pulls her back and continues to fight her. At one point, BB gets these sort of super powers and begins throwing nikki around. When she has nikki on the ground, she bites into her neck releasing a blood spurt. BB then rips Nikki’s head off and throws it over a cliff. When that is done, BB sits there and mentally turns back into retarded BB.
FADE OUT
CUT TO BRIDE
the bride is sitting in her chair staring at dead bill. She hears a knock at the door. She closes the closet and heard for the door. She opens it and sees no one. She looks down and gets a surprised look on her face. Ellie’s head is at the foot of the steps. The bride closes her eyes and turns her head. She instantly transforms into the bride with blonde hair and a yellow suit. She looks back down at Ellie
BRIDE
how did you knock?
ELLIE
magic
BRIDE
o yea
ELLIE
yea
BRIDE
how do you expect to beat me? You’re nothing but a head
ELLIE
you’re a head
CUT TO BRIDE
BRIDE
you’re a head
CUT TO ELLIE
ELLIE
you’re a head
CUT TO BRIDE
BRIDE
you’re a head
CUT TO ELLIE
ELLIE
you’re a head
CUT TO BRIDE
BRIDE
YOU’RE A HEAD!!!!
The bride lifts up her foot and stomps on ellies head.
ELLIE
OWW!. That realy hurt!
The bride picks up the suit case her head is in and closes it. She brings the suit case into the driveway. She places it at the end of the driveway. She then takes a bottle of some sort of liquid and douses the suit case in it. She then walks to the other end of the driveway, while still pouring the liquid. When she reaches the end of the driveway, she turns around. She pulls out a book of matches. She pulls out a match and gets ready to strike it.
BRIDE
how’s this for magic?
The bride strikes the match and drops it on the ground. A line of fire begins to travel to the suitcase. When it reacher the suitcase. It immediately ignites in flames, burning the suitcase and Ellie’s head. The bride watches the fire for a moment. She turns her head and closes her eyes. She turns back to stoned out bride. She turns around and walks into her house.
CUT TO INSIDE HOUSE
BB is sitting on the couch. The bride walks up and sits next to her.
BRIDE
I think our movie career is over for us.
BB
yea. Looks like we’re gonna be has bens now.
BRIDE
yep
BB
yep
BB and the bride both simotaniously take out a pixie stick. The eat the sugar at the same time. They both begin to have a scared look on their face. They look at eachother and start screaming.
FADE OUT
CUT TO INSIDE BAIL BONDS OFFICE
dia and chuck are standing in the office.
CHUCK
well, you did good
DIA
yea. I didn’t think it would be possible to get all those quarters for ourselves.
CHUCK
well, it was. So what are you gonna do now?
DIA
I’m gonna go visit my sister and her daughter. She just turned four a few weeks ago.
CHUCK
o yea, where does she live?
DIA
she lives in Pasadena.
CHUCK
I have a friend in Pasadena. Whats her name?
DIA
Vernita Green. Her daughter’s name is Nikki
CHUCK
Hmm. Well I don’t know her. I hope you have a good time. Make sure you swing by the office again some time.
DIA
I sure will. See you around chuck
she begins to exit the building
CHUCK
Bye
dia leaves the office and enters her car. She drives away. Chuck watches the car slowly disappear. He suddenly gets a shocked look on his face. He has a sort of flashback.
CUT TO FLASHBACK
you see the part of vol.0 where the bride is killing vernita green. You then see the part of BBP where BB is biting Nikki in the neck.
CUT TO CHUCK
chuck looks with a concerned look on his face
CHUCK
uh oh.
FADE OUT
the end credits begin to play
END
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