Bills Brown Pulp - SimplyScripts



Bills Brown Pulp

Characters

MILLIE: Millie will be a druggie (different candies will be portrayed as different drugs). Millie has a small defect. She is deaf. She can’t hear. She also has no balance due to her deafness. She has a hard time walking. When someone tries to have a conversation with her, when she is in a regular non action packed conversation, she will usually respond with how she is happy to be a wall mart customer. Dick is the only person that can realy converse with her because he knows sign language.

ROBERT: He will still be a burnout character, but more exaggerated. He will not be doing much talking in the film. His character will just be a dazed character throughout the entire movie. Sometimes you might hear him speak but it is usually a one word sentence; What?

THE BRIDE: She will be Marcus’s new wife. She has gotten a hair cut and a new hair color. She went a bit mental after trying to get BB back. She started using pixie sticks to get away from the pain. She also keeps bill in her coat closet and shows him to guests.

BB: Although it is never realy told how many years have passed, she is still the same in every way. She has a goal in this movie. She wants to find the two guys that starred in the very violent movie. Whenever you see a pulp fiction parody, it will actually be the movie that BB is watching. Whenever she puts her quest to a temporary pause, she puts in her favorite movie.

DIA BROWN: She will be one of few normal people in this film. Her only defect is her name, she works at an airport, and they require that the workers have their full name on their tags. Her full name is Dia Rea Brown.

CHUCK GRAPE: He is another normal character. He does have a small problem though. Chuck is an old man and old men sometimes use pills for erectile dysfunction. Well chuck used this only once but it caused his hoohoodilly to never subside. To be blunt, Chuck has a never ending erection which is very visible for anyone to see. But he is a heck of a bail bondsman.

ELLIE & NIKKI: These two will be featured once and a while throughout the film. Nikki feels very raw and she gets help from Ellie, who has only a head (which is in a suit case). Nikki will learn through Elli’s head how to get revenge.

DICK: He has a speech impediment where he replaces the “SH” sound in words with an “SS” sound. So instead of saying “where can I put my ash?” It would sound like he is saying “where can I put my ass(sh)?”

FADE IN

DRIVE BY SHOT (LOOKING OUT WINDOW)

trees and houses are going by.

Trunk opens. We see one man with an afro and another with shoulder length hair. Lance is the man with the afro and Tommy is the one with the shoulder length hair.

TOMMY

They call it a quarter pounder with cheese in America. But in France it’s different because of the metric system. In France they call it a Royale with cheese.

LANCE

How do you know all this?

TOMMY

I heard it in a movie once.

They reach in the trunk. One takes out a shovel, the other takes out a bag that says lime on it.

LANCE

What movie was that?

He closes the trunk

CUT TO HEAD SHOT OF TOMMY AND LANCE

TOMMY

I don’t realy remember. All I know is that it starred that guy from grease

CUT TO SIDE HEAD SHOT OF THEM WALKING

LANCE

Say Tommy!

CUT TO TOMMY’S LIPS

TOMMY

Yea?

CUT TO LANCE”S LIPS

LANCE

About how long do you think this will take?

CUT TO TOMMY’S LIPS

TOMMY

I don’t know. It realy depends on how much resistance there is.

CUT TO BACK OF TOMMY AND LANCE

they walk up to a door.

CLOSE SHOT OF TOMMY AND LANCE

They are standing at the door

TOMMY

How much time do we have?

Lance looks at his watch

CUT TO FACE OF THE WATCH

Watch reads 1:28

CUT TO CLOSE SHOT OF LANCE AND TOMMY

LANCE

Two minutes

CUT TO LANCE

LANCE

So you’re gonna be looking after Marcus’s wife while he’s gone huh?

CUT TO TOMMY

TOMMY

Yea, it makes me some extra money

CUT TO TOMMY AND LANCE SIDE BY SIDE

LANCE

Yea well don’t ever touch her feet

TOMMY

Why?

LANCE

The last guy that touched her feet got thrown out of a window

TOMMY

Why was that?

LANCE

I don’t know. She just has a thing for her feet I guess

The door opens and a man stands there

MAN

Hey guys come on in

Tommy and Lance walk in

CUT TO INSIDE THE HOUSE

LANCE

So where are we cleaning it up?

MAN

It’s right outside

They walk out to the deck

CUT TO DECK

The deck is covered in snow. We see Tommy walk out with the bag of and Lance with the shovel. Camera is looking up at them. Lance looks down.

LANCE

WOW! What a mess. Alright let’s get to work.

CUT TO CLOSE SHOT OF LANCE AND TOMMY

LANCE

Hey wait! Why do you have a bag of lime?

TOMMY

Oh! I just put the ice melt in here because I didn’t want to bring the bucket

LANCE

Oh Okay

CUT TO SEMI ARIAL VIEW OF LANCE AND TOMMY

Lance goes to the first step and shovels the snow off. Tommy sprinkles ice melt over the shoveled step.

CUT TO OUTSIDE OF A RESTAURANT

Subtitle: Gayville U.S.A.

CUT TO INSIDE RESTAURANT

subtitle reads 3:00 P.M.

Two people are at a booth. They are English. They go about an English gibberish conversation. Finally the man gets up with a gun pointing out

MAN

Everyone freeze this is a robbery!

The woman gets up and flails her arms around and makes a crazy warrior sound

CUT TO DOOR

Chuck Norris walks in

NORRIS

Not on my watch!

There is a massive fight scene between Chuck Norris and everyone else. He throws everyone around and kills them all.

CUT TO THE SAME SCENE ON A TELEVISION

The movie ends on the television and reads “ You have just watched a very violent movie”

ANNOUNCER

You have just watched a very violent movie.

Pan to BB watching the television eating a banana. She gets up and walks out the door

CUT TO CLOSE SHOT OF BB

BB is on an airport escalator going forward. The remake of the beginning scene to Jackie Brown commences. Title is shown. After title is shown, BB starts running in a rushing motion. She suddenly crashes into a wall. People run over to try to help her out. When she is helped up, she starts talking about her favorite movie.

BB

Heh........ HEY! You know that movie where the guy goes into theat place and........ POP TART!......BANG! And the guy dies? You know that one?

MAN

No I can’t say I know what...

BB

HEY! You know that movie where the guy is in the car.... and he has a gun.... BANG! He shoots the guy in the face and he dies?

MAN

NO I don’t.....

BB

Have you ever seen that?

MAN

(quickly) NO!

BB

huh?

MAN

NO!

BB

I’m gonna go see those people in the movie

MAN

O yea, do you know where they are?

BB

Yea they’re in LA

BB expresses L.A. as LA, like the musical note

MAN

Where’s that?

BB

I can count up to “L”

MAN

Are you for real?

BB

My eyes hurt

MAN

Listen, I’m gonna take you with me to Hollywood.

BB

Do you have candy?

MAN

What?

BB

I won’t go with strangers unless they have candy. Or a puppy

MAN

Okay. How about a tic tac

BB

Okay

BB goes with the man to the gate. They get on a plane. They find their seats

BB

What is this?

MAN

It’s an airplane. It goes realy high.

BB

Like mommy?

MAN

What?

BB

Mommy goes realy high too when she has her pixie sticks.

MAN

That sounds fun.

BB

Yea, HEY! Have you ever seen that movie where he’s like “ you’re nothing but a bum!”

MAN

NO!

BB

Your yelling reminds me of home.

MAN

How would you like to be in a movie?

BB

No, I’m looking for people in that movie where she’s like “hey tomato, KETCHUP!”

MAN

Well good luck with tha.....

BB

What?

MAN

Never mind

BB

How long is this road?

MAN

What road?

BB

The road this big car is driving on?

MAN

Oh, this isn’t a road. This is a plane. It goes in the air

BB

huh?

CUT TO EXTREME FAR SHOT OF PLANE TAKING OFF

You hear BB screaming loudly.

CUT TO VIDEO OF STUPID GIRLS WITH GUNS

GIRL

This is my AK. And I can shoot it

the girl pulls the trigger and the gun jams. She aims the barrel at the face to see what is wrong.

CUT TO DICK AND ROBERT INSIDE OF DICK’S APPARTEMENT

you hear a gun shot and a scream on the television.

DICK

Aw Yea. AK 47. Now thats what I’m talking about

ROBERT

uh huh

the phone rings

DICK

HEY! Are you gonna get that

pan to Millie

MILLIE

get what?

DICK

the efing phone

MILLIE

Oh I didn’t hear it

Millie gets up and picks up the phone

MILLIE

hello?

You hear a voice over the phone

MILLIE

HELLO?

You hear the voice continue to talk

MILLIE

HELLO!?

DICK

LOOK AT THE CALLER ID!

Millie looks over and sees the caller ID. She puts the phone down and stumbles back to the couch

DICK

who is it?

MILLIE

It’s Bellmont

Dick gets up and picks up the phone

DICK

Hey Bellmont what the H*E*L*L* is going on?

You hear a voice over the phone

DICK

Jail? What do you mean you’re in jail?

You hear a voice over the phone

DICK

Okay Bellmont just calm down. Don’t worry I’m gonna bail you out. You just have to wait a few days

You hear a loud obnoxious yelling over the phone as dick hangs up

DICK

Hey we have to go somewhere. Come on. First I have to go to the car wash. The car is not ssiney enough.

ROBERT

What?

DICK

I said the car isn’t (sh)ssiney enough

ROBERT

(sh)Ssiney?

DICK

Yea. I like my car to (sh)Ssine

Robert starts to laugh

CUT TO BAIL BONDS OFFICE

chuck grape is sitting in his seat behind his desk. He is talking on the phone.

CHUCK

Ok so let me see if I got this all down. Your son was at a bar and he went into a room that he thaught was a bathroom, and for no apparent reason he was arrested as a pedophile?

You hear a voice over the phone

CHUCK

And your daughter was in a hotel room and she was arrested as a prostitute?

You hear a voice over the phone

CHUCK

And your husband was throwing his trash in a dumpster 7 miles away from your house and he was arrested for murder?

You hear a voice over the phone. Dick walks through the door with a cigarette in his mouth

CHUCK

Well, it sounds like you are in a real pickle. But I can help. All I need is $600,000 from you and your family should be all set.

You hear a voice over the phone. Dick sits down in the chair.

CHUCK

okay good bye

he hangs up the phone and looks at dick

CHUCK

how can I help you?

DICK

where can I put my ass(sh)?

CHUCK

Excuse me?

DICK

I said, where can I put my ass(sh)?

CHUCK

Um???

DICK

My ass(sh) my ass(sh)!!

He picks up his cigarette and waves it around

CHUCK

Oh your ash. Um just put it in this cup

he pushes the mug toward Dick. He flicks his ash in it.

CHUCK

so what do you need

DICK

I need a bond

CHUCK

for what?

DICK

Bailing someone out

CHUCK

yea but what is the person charged with?

DICK

you know this and that

CHUCK

okay

He looks through his drawer and takes a paper out of the file that reads “this and that”. He starts writing on it

CHUCK

What is this persons name?

DICK

Bellmont

CHUCK

Does he have a last name?

DICK

just bellmont thats all I know

chuck starts typing on his computer

CHUCK

okay his full name is bellmont lovingstein

DICK

loveingstein huh?

CHUCK

He looks like a real stable guy in this picture

DICK

(sh)ssow me

CHUCK

I don’t know how to do that

DICK

what do you mean

CHUCK

I never learned how to sew

DICK

Thats fine but I could care less if you can sew or not. I want you to sow me the picture

CHUCK

I can’t sew the picture, I don’t know how

DICK

no no no. not sew (sh)ssow.

CHUCK

I realy don’t understand what you’re trying to tell me.

DICK

I want to see the picture

CHUCK

Why did you tell me to sew it?

DICK

I have a speech impediment that makes it so I can’t make the “S*H*” sound

CHUCK

Oh, I’m sorry

DICK

you better be

Chuck gets up revealing his massive bulge in his pants. He puts his hands out to shake with dick.

CHUCK

well it was nice talking to you. Oh, please excuse my pants. I had a bad chemical reaction with some erectile dysfunction pills and lets just say I’m never down.

Dick turns around and walks out the door. Chuck watches them walk out. He turns around to sit back down at his desk and knocks the mug off the table with his erection.

CHUCK

Oh butternuts!

He bends down to pick up the mug

CUT TO BB AND THE MAN INSIDE THE PLANE

BB is staring off into space. The man has a semi angry look on his face, as though he just made a mistake bringing BB with him. The man gets up and walks away. A little while later Dia Brown comes over and sits next to BB.

DIA

Hello. What’s your name?

BB

HEY! Have you ever seen that movie where he’s like “Zed’s dead”?

DIA

No I can’t say I have. Are you here all alone?

BB

Yea

DIA

You’re not here with anyone

BB

Yea I’m here with the man that gave me candy to come with him on the plane.

DIA

What!? You mean you were kidnaped?

BB

yea

DIA

I’m Gonna help you o..............

BB

HUH?

DIA

I’m gonna help you

BB

hey have you ever seen that movie where he’s like “clean the effing car”?

DIA

Nope sorry

BB

Thats my favorite movie

DIA

Do you have a name?

BB

My feet itch

The man returns to his seat. He stops and stares at Dia.

MAN

Excuse me stewardess, you are in my seat

DIA

You have more problems than that right now mister!

MAN

What are you talking about?

DIA

This little girl told me that you kidnaped her

MAN

WHAT!? I did not!

DIA

So you didn’t give her candy to get on the plane?

MAN

Well yea I did but....

DIA

so you did kidnap her?

MAN

NO. She....

DIA

Enough! I will have you arrested as soon as we get off the plane.

BB

(screaming) YOU TOOK ME FROM MY HOME AND TOLD ME YOU HAD A PUPPY IN YOUR VAN!!!!!!

MAN

NO I DIDN’T!!!!

BB

I HATE YOU. I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND YOU TOOK ME FROM HAPPINESS

MAN

IT’S A LIE!

DIA

You’re going down. You’re nothing but scum!

BB walks over to the emergency exit on the wing and opens it. While people are screaming she runs over to the man.

BB

I HOPE YOU ROT IN HELL!!!!

BB pushes the man out of the plane. Everyone on the plane claps for BB.

CUT TO BB AND DIA WALKING OUT OF THE GATE

DIA

I have to figure out who you are

BB

I’m me

DIA

Yea but do you know your name?

BB

My fishes name is goldie. But I accidentally stepped on him and accidentally stabbed him with a knife and accidentally pulled his fins off with my fingers.

DIA

Well, that sounds nice

BB

It was

Dia searches for a police officer. She finds one and approaches him.

DIA

excuse me officer, This girl was kidnaped by a man that was on the plane and I am trying to get her back home to her family but I don’t know her name.

OFFICER

well that isn’t good

DIA

Can you help me?

OFFICER

possibly. First I have to look through your bag

DIA

Why?

OFFICER

We will find out won’t we?

The officer kneels down and searches through Dia’s bag. He comes across a manilla envelope

CUT TO DIA MAKING A DISAPPOINTED / FRUSTRATED LOOK

The officer opens the envelope.

OFFICER

Wow. There has got to be at least 25, 50 dollars here

he flips the bag upside down and dumps out a massive amount of quarters.

OFFICER

What do you say

RANDOM PERSON

It looks like $50 from here

OFFICER

We have to take you to the station

DIA

Why? It’s $50

OFFICER

yes $50 in quarters

DIA

I don’t understand

OFFICER

Neither do I

DIA

Well who’s gonna take care of this little girl

OFFICER

Give her to someone behind the desk

The officer grabs BB by the arm and gives her to a lady behind a desk

OFFICER

Here figure out who she is and send her home

LADY

You don’t know who that is??

OFFICER

No who is she

LADY

Thats BB Bride. She is the daughter of the bride

DIA

HER!!??

LADY

Yea she’s here to live with her mom in Hollywood

DIA

I thaught that guy kidnaped you

BB

I have a lot of socks

DIA

She killed a man!, An innocent man!

OFFICER

Everyone dies sometime

The officer takes dia away from the desk

LADY

Your limo is right over here. Come on I will bring you there

The lady takes BB by the hand and brings her to the Limo Parked outside. The door is opened and BB gets in. The Limo Drives away.

CUT TO FRONT OF THE BRIDES HOUSE

The limo stops and the driver gets out to let BB out of the car. He opens the door and BB barges out of the car with full speed.

CUT TO INSIDE OF THE BRIDES HOUSE

BB walks inside and runs to the T.V. She puts her favorite movie into the VCR. You can hear the movie start. The Bride walks in

BRIDE

Hello BB. It is a pleasure to be seeing you

She Sits down and pulls out a pixie stick. BB snatches it from her hand

BRIDE

(calmly)no BB don’t do it. Thats not good for you

BB rips open the tip and devours the sugar on the inside of the pixie stick. She goes into a drug trip

CUT TO PIXIE STICK TRIP

The bride is trying to talk to BB while she is having the trip. BB can hear her but as the bride is talking to her, the words she is saying are scrolling by BB’s face in pretty colors.

BRIDE

I am going to have a friend over for a little while. He is going to take me out to dinner. You just stay here and watch your movie.

The last sentence the bride says is slowed down and things start to spin.

CUT TO BB IN BRIDES POINT OF VIEW

BB stands up and pukes a massive amount of vomit. It almost seems as though it is not stopping. Finally it ends and she sits down. The bride puts BB’s video into the VHS.

CUT TO FINGER PUSHING PLAY

The movie begins to play.

CUT TO TOMMY DRIVING UP IN FRONT OF THE HOUSE

He gets out of the car and walks up to the front door of the brides house.

CUT TO FINGER PUSHING DOORBELL

CUT TO FRONT DOOR

The bride begins to open the door

BRIDE

I can’t believe how early you are

CUT TO TOMMY

TOMMY

Thats just the way I am

BRIDE

Come on in.

Tommy walks into the house

CUT TO INSIDE THE HOUSE

BRIDE

Please excuse me while I go freshen up.

The Bride walks up stairs. Tommy looks around and sees a door. He opens it and walks downstairs. He sees BB.

TOMMY

Hello, you must be BB

CUT TO BB

BB screams incredibly loudly and stabs herself in the arm with a knife. Tommy freaks and runs back upstairs.

CUT TO BRIDE

The bride is opening a pixie stick and eating it. She walks out of the bathroom.

CUT TO DOWNSTAIRS

The bride walks up to Tommy stealthfully and gets close to his ear.

BRIDE

Hello Tommy

Tommy jumps slightly and turns around

TOMMY

I think your daughter needs some help. She just stabbed herself in the arm with a knife.

BRIDE

Thats BB

TOMMY

Yea I know

BRIDE

She was the daughter of Bill, the man I killed.

TOMMY

Yea I know

BRIDE

I killed a bunch of people to get to him.

TOMMY

Yea I know

BRIDE

When I found him, I found BB too

TOMMY

Yea I know

She takes out what looks like a cigarette box and pulls out a lolly pop. She puts it in her mouth

BRIDE

She is my daughter

TOMMY

Yea I know

BRIDE

Bill had to put his hoo hoo dilly in my ch......

TOMMY

Yea I know I don’t want to hear it!!!

BRIDE

Would you like to meet bill?

TOMMY

Well he is dead so It would be kind of hard

BRIDE

Yea if he was buried

TOMMY

What do you mean

BRIDE

I kept bill

TOMMY

You mean like you cremated him and put him in a jar?

BRIDE

Come with me

CUT TO TOMMY AND BRIDE WALKING TO A DOOR

She opens the door

CUT TO FRONT OF DOOR

Bill falls out dead and lands on the ground

TOMMY

O my god!!!! You have a dead man in your closet!!!???

BRIDE

Yea. I keep him in there so I can make fun of him

TOMMY

What do you mean?

BRIDE

Watch

The bride picks up bill and puts him back into the closet and closes the door

BRIDE

Where is bill??

TOMMY

You put him in the closet

BRIDE

Bill come out of the closet!!

The bride opens the door and bill falls out. The bride starts laughing hysterically.

BRIDE

He came out of the closet, get it

TOMMY

Yea thats a hoot.

BRIDE

Lets eat.

CUT TO NIKKI WALKING INTO A ROOM

She walks up to a cabinet and opens it. She finds a briefcase. She picks it up and puts it on the table. She opens it to find the head of Ellie Driver.

ELLIE

Hewow Nikki (hello nikki)

NIKKI

Hi

ELLIE

Do you feew waw (do you feel raw)?

NIKKI

Yea I feel raw now

ELLIE

Exewent (excellent). We wiww make hew suffew to hew wast bweaf (we will make her suffer to her last breath). Nikki get me my cigawette (nikki get me my cigarette)

Nikki grabs the cigarette next to ellies head and puts it into her mouth. Ellie takes a drag, drops it and begins to caugh.

ELLIE

Fowirst I have to teach you how to fight wike de bwide (First I have to teach you how to fight like th bride). Wets get stawted (lets get started).

CUT TO A CAR DRIVING

CUT TO INTERIOR OF THE CAR

The bride and Tommy are in the car, Tommy is driving. The car stopps

TOMMY

okay we’re here. I’m not so sure about this. You’re kinda freaking me out.

BRIDE

Don’t be such a clown Charlie Brown

TOMMY

My name is Tommy

BRIDE

Come on Tommy don’t be such a...

The bride makes a shape with her fingers (like in PF where she makes a square with her fingers) only she is unsure of what she is making. She ends up making a bunch of different squiggly lines with her fingers. Tommy is confused

TOMMY

Okay well lets eat

BRIDE

Only you would know

TOMMY

Huh?

The Bride smirks and walks out of the car.

CUT TO INSIDE OF RESTAURANT

Tommy and the bride walk to the outside restaurant area. They are greeted by the host or hostess. He/she walks them to a table. They sit down.

TOMMY

So tell me, why do you keep Bill in your closet.

BRIDE

I don’t want him to hurt me so I have to lock him in there.

TOMMY

But he’s dead

BRIDE

You’re dead!

TOMMY

You’re realy freaking me out

BRIDE

Be That As It May.

The Bride pulls out a cigarette box and opens it. She pulls out a lolly pop and un wraps it.

BRIDE

Do you mind?

TOMMY

No.

The waiter comes up to the table

WAITER

Do you two know what you would like?

BRIDE

You go first.

TOMMY

Okay. I’m going to have the turkey giblets in gravy and a Red Bull.

WAITER

And how about you.

BRIDE

I’m going to have the ocean whitefish and a $5.00 shake.

WAITER

Okay I will be right back with your drinks

the waiter walks away

TOMMY

Did you just order a $5.00 shake

BRIDE

Yea why do you have a problem?

TOMMY

No it’s just that it’s kind of expensive.

BRIDE

So what are you a cheap guy?

TOMMY

I just don’t think it’s right to pay $5.00 for a shake

The waiter returns with the drinks. He puts them on the table. He walks away

TOMMY

Can I see what a $5.00 shake tastes like?

BRIDE

Okay

Tommy takes the glass from the bride and takes a sip of the shake. He immediately throws up a large amount of vomit all over the table. After a few long vomit stages he wipes his mouth and looks up at the bride. She is covered in puke.

BRIDE

I have to go to the powder room.

She gets up from the table and walks away.

CUT TO INSIDE BATHROOM

The bride takes out a pixie stick, opens it, and devours the sugar on the inside. The bride screams very loudly.

CUT TO TABLE

the bride is approaching the table

BRIDE

Don’t you just love it when you come back and your food is here waiting for you?

TOMMY

um. Sure but it’s not here yet.

CUT TO STAGE

A man walks on stage and makes an announcement

ANNOUNCER

Okay everyone it’s time for the individual dance contest. Whose gonna be the first contestant.

CUT TO TABLE

BRIDE

THIS MAN RIGHT HERE!

She points to Tommy.

TOMMY

Are you crazy?

BRIDE

yes

TOMMY

Well I can’t dance!

BRIDE

too bad

ANNOUNCER

Okay get up here!

Tommy takes his red bull and chugs it down. His head begins to move around as if he is possessed.

TOMMY

Okay let’s see what I can do

Tommy goes up to the stage and the music begins to play. He dances through the whole song.

CUT TO INSIDE HOUSE

Tommy and the bride walk in through the door. Tommy comes running in and start running into walls (cause he is all hyped up on red bull).

BRIDE

What are you doing?

TOMMY

Red bull makes me crazy always. I have to take a pee pee.

BRIDE

okay

The bride walks over to her radio and presses play. The song begins to play and she starts dancing and singing to it. She eventually stops dancing and turns the music down. She walks over to the couch where Tommy left his coat. She looks through her pockets and finds a thin plastic tube. She holds it up to the light and sees a powder on the inside. Thinking it is a pixie stick she opens it and devours the sugar on the inside. She sits still for a moment and her eyes begin to jump around. She goes into a realy bad trip.

CUT TO BAD TRIP

CUT TO ROOM

Tommy finds the bride laying on the floor. And begins to scream like a girl. The bride has blood and puss all over her face. Tommy shakes her violently.

CUT TO INSIDE HOUSE

there is a guy sitting in a chair watching t.v. eating cereal. The phone rings. After 2 rings he gets up. After 3 rings someone from the background starts yelling.

BACKGROUND PERSON

THE PHONE IS RINGING!

GUY

I can hear that!

BACKGROUND PERSON

I THOUGHT YOU TOLD THOSE EFFING MO FO’S TO NEVER CALL HERE!

GUY

I did! And thats what I’m going to tell this effing mo fo right now!

He picks up the phone

GUY

Hello?

CUT TO INSIDE OF CAR

TOMMY

Hey man I have a chick tweaking out on me I need your help

CUT TO INSIDE OF HOUSE

GUY

What!? Well don’t bring her here

CUT TO INSIDE OF CAR

TOMMY

sorry no choice

CUT TO INSIDE OF HOUSE

GUY

Are you calling me from a cellular phone?

CUT TO INSIDE OF CAR

TOMMY

Yea why?

CUT TO INSIDE OF HOUSE

GUY

I don’t know you. PRANK CALLER! PRANK CALLER!

He slams the phone down and grabs his hair. Out side you hear a tire screeching and a loud crash. The guy turns around abruptly and runs to the window to look outside.

BACKGROUND PERSON

WHAT THE EFF WAS THAT?!

The guy looks outside the window and runs to his front door.

CUT TO DRIVEWAY

the guy runs out side to the car.

GUY

What the eych are you doing? There are people trying to sleep around here.

Tommy runs to the passenger side door and pulls the bride out of the car.

GUY

What is this?

Tommy drags her toward the front door.

GUY

no way man your not bringing her in my house

TOMMY

Sorry

cut to inside house. Tommy drags the bride in through the door and drops her in the middle of the floor. The person from the background comes stomping out.

LADY

WHAT THE EFF IS GOING ON!?

GUY

Go get my little black medical book!

LADY

WHAT!?

GUY

my little black medical book

the lady stands there in a confused and dazed manner.

GUY

MY EFFING BLACK MEDICAL BOOK! WHAT THE EYCH IS THE MATTER WITH YOU!?

The lady screams loudly and runs off to find the book. The guy runs to his refrigerator and takes out a plastic baggie. He runs back to Tommy and pulls out a rather wide tube and a needle that is about 3 ft long. He attaches the needle to the tube and sticks it inside of a small bottle to suck out the liquid. He sucks all the liquid into the tube and hands the tube to Tommy.

GUY

Here

TOMMY

What?

GUY

I’m not sticking this needle in her.

TOMMY

WHAT ARE YOU DOING SHE’S GONNA DIE ON US.

GUY

HEY! Listen to me. When I bring a dead girl to your house in the middle of the night I will put the needle in her. I’m doing you a favor by letting you into my house.

Tommy takes the tube from the guy.

TOMMY

Okay what do I have to do?

GUY

well you have to get the needle through her breast plate so you have to jab really hard

the guy makes a jabbing motion with his hand. He makes three jabs.

TOMMY

so I have to stab her three times?

GUY

yea of course you do. I wouldn’t have made a three jabbing motion if you didn’t have to stab her three times. DUH!

Tommy raises the needle above the bride and jabs the needle into her chest. She wakes up instantly and Tommy takes the needle out of her chest. He stabs her a second time and she yells. He takes the needle out again and stabs her a third time. She screams and jumps back with the needle going through her chest and out her back. She leans against the seat of the chair breathing heavily.

GUY

if you’re okay say something.

The bride begins singing castle on the cloud in an opera fashion. She stops suddenly and looks confused.

LADY

THAT WAS EFFING TRIPPY!

CUT TO OUTSIDE OF HOUSE

a car drives up and Tommy gets out. He walks over to the passenger side door and lets the bride out. They walk to the front door.

BRIDE

do you want to hear a funny joke?

TOMMY

okay

BRIDE

three tomatoes are walking down the street and the baby tomato is lagging behind. The daddy tomato walks up to him and squishes him. He says to the baby tomato “ketch up”.

The bride smiles lightly and then laughs hysterically. Tommy looks at her in a very confused way.

BRIDE

well Tommy I’ll be seeing you around.

TOMMY

I hope not.

The bride and Tommy both turn around at the same time. The bride walks into her house and Tommy walks into his car. The bride closes the door and Tommy drives away.

CUT TO INSIDE RESTAURANT

subtitle reads 2:30 P.M.

A lady is sitting a a table alone. A man walks up to the table.

MAN

Hi. Are you Sheniqua?

SHENIQUA

Yea. Are you phil?

PHIL

yea

SHENIQUA

I’m a little nervous. This is my first blind date.

PHIL

yea me too

Phil sits down. A waiter comes over.

WAITER

can I get you two anything to drink?

PHIL

I’m just gonna have a salad

SHENIQUA

I will have that as well

WAITER

alright

the waiter walks off

SHENIQUA

so what do you do?

PHIL

well, I am currently unemployed. I just can’t seem to find a place that will hire me. I realy can’t figure it out.

SHENIQUA

Thats strange. But that happens. You just have to keep trying I guess

PHIL

Yea I guess I will go try another town. Cause I have applied to every job possible in this town.

Sheniqua giggles.

PHIL

I’m serious. I have literally applied for every job possible in this town.

SHENIQUA

Oh

sheniqua looks confused. The waiter comes back with their salads. The begin eating.

SHENIQUA

is there anything your good at?

PHIL

well I’m good at drawing

SHENIQUA

well you should look for a profession in drawing.

PHIL

yea maybe

they sit in silence eating their salads for a few moments. Phil gets up and begins screaming loudly. He looks as if there is a serious problem going on. He stops screaming, sits down and starts eating his salad again.

SHENIQUA

what was that?!

PHIL

What?

SHENIQUA

what you just did

PHIL

I didn’t do anything

sheniqua looks at phill in a shocked manner.

CUT TO INSIDE INTERROGATION ROOM

COP

So tell me Dia, why are you bringing all these quarters across the country?

DIA

I’m bringing them to some body

COP

Like who?

DIA

Dick.

COP

Dick?

CUT TO HALLWAY

Dick is walking down the hallway. Eh stops in front of a door and knocks on it. Bellmont opens the door (he has a very high pitched, very annoying voice)

BELLMONT

Hey man I didn’t know you was stoppin by.

DICK

I just wanted to welcome you home

BELLMONT

Man I cannot thank you enough for bailing me out, I owe you man, big time

DICK

That’s one of the reasons why I stopped by. I want you to do me a favor

BELLMONT

Now?

DICK

Yes now

BELLMONT

Can’t we do this another time? It’s late and I just want to enjoy one night of peace and quiet.

DICK

It will be very quick

BELLMONT

I don’t know man

DICK

HEY!. I busted you out of jail. Don’t think I won’t have you put back into jail. Don’t forget, I know about your pixie stick trafficking down in columbia.

BELLMONT

Alright but make it quick

Bellmont exits the appartement and follows dick. The walk down the stairs.

DICK

Thanks for doing this

BELLMONT

yea whatever. So what are we doing?

DICK

I have to sell some weapons to a few Koreans in china town

CUT TO INSIDE OF TRUNK

the trunk is opened and we see bellmont and dick standing next to eachother

DICK

get in

BELLMONT

WHAT?! What do you mean get in?

DICK

I mean get in

BELLMONT

Well can’t I just sit in the front with you?

DICK

When I open this trunk you have to pop out at the Koreans with the gun. You have to shake them up a bit before you just go and sell them a weapon. If you sat in the front, that would ruin the surprise.

BELLMONT

just remember that it cost you $10,000 to get me in the trunk of a car

Bellmont stumbles his way into the trunk. Once he is in dick shuts the trunk door. Bellmont is babbling about someting. Dick walks to the drivers side of the car and enters it. He puts the key in the ignition and turns the car on. He puts a cd in and it begins to play. He grabs a pair of gloves he has in the passenger seat and struggles to put them on.

CUT TO ARIAL SHOT OF THE CAR

the car drives off. It drives slowly around the parking lot. It comes to a stop. The drivers side door opens.

CUT TO SIDE VIEW OF CAR

Dick shuts the car off and exits the car. He walks over to the back of the car. He stands at the trunk and pulls a gun out from his coat pocket. He opens the trunk (you immediately hear the obnoxious babbling coming from the trunk. When the trunk door is fully opened, dick points the gun in the trunks direction and shoots two rounds. Bellmont stops talking. Dick closes the trunk and walks back toward the drivers side door. He enters the car and closes the door. He turns the car on and we hear the music playing from the cd player.

CUT TO ARIAL SHOT OF THE CAR

the car exits the parking lot and drives off screen.

CUT TO LADY DOING A HARDCORE TECHNO DANCE

a rather large lady, named simowne, is doing an extreme techno dance in front of Robert. The phone rings. Simowne stops her dancing, turns down the music and heads toward the phone. She picks it up

SIMOWNE

Hello? Hey dick how are you? Well I’m doing just fine. Yea he’s right here, I’m doing my dance for him. Okay baby.

She turns and looks at robert

SIMOWNE

Robet baby, it’s dick

robert gets up and takes the phone from simowne

ROBERT

Hello?

CUT TO DICK

DICK

He Robert how’s it going

CUT TO ROBERT

ROBERT

It’s going alright

CUT TO DICK

DICK

is simowne doing her show for you?

CUT TO ROBERT

ROBERT

Yea she’s not too bad

CUT TO DICK

DICK

Hey listen, I’m right outside simowne’s house right now. I want you to come out side. I have something to show you.

CUT TO ROBERT

ROBERT

Alright

Robert hangs up the phone and walks off view

CUT TO OUT SIDE

Robert walks out side to meet dick by his car.

ROBERT

Whats up.

CUT TO INSIDE TRUNK

The trunk opens and dick and robert are standing there.

ROBERT

Who’s that?

DICK

That’s Bellmont

ROBERT

Who’s bellmont?

DICK

Bellmont is an employee that I had to let go

ROBERT

O. Okay. Is that all?

DICK

Yea that’s all.

ROBERT

Alright well I’ll see you around.

DICK

Cool

he closes the trunk

CUT TO INSIDE A BAR

you see a close up shot of a man looking slightly off camera. There is a voice talking to him in the background.

VOICE

Let’s make sure we’re clear on this. In the fourth round you will go down. We pay you, and you get out of town.

CUT TO BACK OF MAN’S HEAD

subtitle reads 12:45 P.M.

the man, whose name is Bubba, responds. He has the voice fo a younger child.

BUBBA

What if I say no?

MARCUS

Then I will kill you.

BUBBA

Well why would you want to kill someone? You could get arrested for that. It’s not legal

MARCUS

I don’t care.

BUBBA

Well you should.

MARCUS

So are you gonna go down?

BUBBA

yea

CUT TO DOOR

Lance and Tommy walk in through the door.

MARCUS

Hey guys. I was just discussing our deal with Bubba here.

LANCE

Yea? And what did he say

MARCUS

he said yes.

TOMMY

That was a good answer.

CUT TO STUPID LOOKING CARTOON

a young boy is watching television.

MOTHER

Bubba, there is someone here to see you

Bubba turns around and a man approaches him. He sits down on the sofa in front of Bubba. He begins to talk.

MAN

Hello little boy. My name is colonel Marshmellow. I was a friend of your dad’s in the war. He was a very good man and he died for a good cause. But before he died he made a request. I have something for you Bubba.

Marshmellow pulls a stapler out of his coat pocket.

MARSHMELLOW

This. This stapler belonged to you great grandfather. He found it in a local wal mart. He handed it down to your grandfather who handed it down to your father. Your father went to war and became a POW. He knew that the limeys would confiscate it after the krauts ordered them to. This would lead to destruction of it by the arabs and recycling by the frogs. The japs would not have had it and they would have ordered the hebes to kill him. So you father hid it in the only place he knew they would never find it, in his reh... reh... rectum. Lived for two months with this stapler, up his reh.... reh... rectum. He then gave it to me when he knew he was going to die. He told me “give this to my son”. So I took it and walked around with this kind of comfortable piece of metal up my reh... reh... rectum until I was released from the war. When I got back home I kept it there, up my reh... reh... rectum, for about another two months. Finally when I got here today I took it out and put it in my pocket. And now, I will give it to you.

Marshmellow hands the stapler to Bubba and he grabs it abruptly.

CUT TO SMALL ROOM

Bubba wakes up as if he had a nightmare. He is breathing heavily.

CUT TO BLACK

You hear a radio announcer

ANNOUNCER

Thats it, thats it, the fight is over. And Billy Lee is dead. Bubba was able to realy get a good swing at the last hit. It was good enough to kill Billy. I don’t know where Bubba is now. I think he skidadled as fast as he could because he is no where in sight.

CUT TO ALLEY WAY

Bubba is escaping out of a window. He jumps down onto a trash can and falls. He runs up to a car and gets in the back seat. The car drives away.

CUT TO HALLWAY

Tommy and Lance are angrily walking down the hallway. The come to a door and they open it. Marcus and the bride are sitting in the room. They all have angry looks on their faces.

LANCE

Marcus what the eff is going on?

TOMMY

Hello the bride

BRIDE

Hi Tommy. I never thanked you for dinner.

CUT TO INSIDE THE TAXI

subtitle reads 1:30 P.M.

Bubba is removing his gloves and changing in to he regular clothes. The driver is curious as to what he is doing.

DRIVER

You are that guy.

BUBBA

I don’t know what you’re talking about

DRIVER

The guy on the radio. The fighter

BUBBA

Yea I suppose I am

DRIVER

you killed that other man

BUBBA

Is he dead?

DRIVER

The radio said he was dead. So tell me what does it feel like to kill another man.

BUBBA

I wouldn’t know. I didn’t know he was dead until after.

DRIVER

I have always wanted to kill a man

BUBBA

yea well maybe you should some day.

DRIVER

Well I tried to kill Bill but someone beat me to it.

The vehicle pulls up to a building and stops.

BUBBA

Here’s your fair. And an extra $50 for yourself. Now I have a question. If someone asks you who you picked up tonight, what are you gonna tell them?

DRIVER

It was a realy big black guy.

BUBBA

Good answer. See you around driver

DRIVER

Ta Ta Bubba.

He shuts the door. The car drives away and he approaches the front door of his room.

CUT TO OUTSIDE

ellie’s head and nikki are still training

CUT TO RESTAURANT

a waitress is walking across the room with a pitcher of water. The subtitle reads 2:45 P.M. the waitress goes up to a table and asks if they want water. She pours the water and turns around. She throws the pitcher of water across the room.

WAITRESS

I HATE MY JOB! I WISH I DIDN’T HAVE IT SO MUCH!

The waitress freezes.

CUT TO OFFICE

chuck grape is sitting I his office staring at the ceiling. Dick walks in through the door

DICK

what up chuck?

CHUCK

Nothing I was just admiring my ceiling. What can I do you for?

DICK

$10.00

CHUCK

What?

DICK

um.., nothing. I need another bond

CHUCK

For Bellmont?

DICK

Nah, Bellmont is dead

CHUCK

Yea I heard. They found him in the trunk of a car

DICK

Yea I put him there

CHUCK

WHAT!?

DICK

Huh?

CHUCK

What did you say?

DICK

what?

CHUCK

Huh?

DICK

Huh?

CHUCK

What?

DICK

I need a bond for my friend Dia.

CHUCK

What did she do?

DICK

Well, they busted her for coming into America with a bunch of quarters.

CHUCK

Alright hold on

Chuck reaches into his file cabinet and pulls out a paper that says “coming into America with a lot of quarters”

CHUCK

Here you are. I just have to find the ink stamp so this can be a certified document.

Chuck stands up. His raging erection is sticking out and chuck is knocking things over with it. He walks up to dick (with his erection sticking straight in his face)

CHUCK

Say Dick have you seen an inkpad?

DICK

No sorry

CHUCK

O well. I will just sign the paper.

Chuck sits down and sigNs the paper.

CHUCK

Ok dick I will take care of it tonight

DICK

ok thank you

Dick gets up and runs out the door

CUT TO OUTSIDE OF PRISON

Chuck walks up to the booth in front of the prison.

CHUCK

Hey Rick.

RICK

Hey chuck. You bailing someone out today?

CHUCK

You bet your tuckus

RICK

Are you armed?

CHUCK

You bet your tuckus

Chuck pulls out a massive amount of weapons from his pockets.

CHUCK

Here you go Rick

RICK

Thank you. I’m going to push the button now cause I am payed to push buttons

CHUCK

Okay

Rick pushes the button and the gate opens. Chuck walks through the open area

CUT TO DOOR

dia walks out of the door and toward chuck.

CHUCK

Hello. I’m chuck grape

DIA

hello I’m Dia Rea Brown.

CHUCK

Excuse me? I thaught you said your name was dia rea brown

DIA

Yea I did. That is my full name. But you can just call me dia

CHUCK

Well let’s get you home shall we?

DIA

Sure

Dia and chuck walk toward the car. Chuck gets in the drivers side and dia in the passengers side. The car drives off.

CUT TO INSIDE CAR

Dia is looking down toward chuck’s pants. She has a frightened look on her face.

CUT TO ERECTION

CUT TO DIA’S FACE

CUT TO ERECTION

CUT TO DIA’S FACE

CUT TO ERECTION

CUT TO DIA’S FACE

CUT TO ERECTION

CUT TO DIA’S FACE

DIA

Chuck, can I ask you a personal question?

CHUCK

yes dia

DIA

Why are you pitching a tent?

CHUCK

What do you mean? I don’t like camping.

DIA

No I mean that thing.

Dia points at chuck’s erection

CHUCK

Oh. That’s just an erectile dysfunction pill malfunction. It never goes away

DIA

How long has it been like that?

CHUCK

Oh golly gosh I have to say 3 years now.

DIA

Well that’s quite impressive

Chuck smirks and begins to cough aggressively.

CUT TO FRONT OF HOUSE

chuck’s car pulls to the front of dia’s house. They both get out of the car.

CHUCK

If there are ever any problems dia, just give me a call

DIA

Ok thank you chuck for all your help

CHUCK

Are you gonna be alright

DIA

yea I just need to get some sleep

CHUCK

Ok well goodnight

dia walks off to her front door. Chuck begins to cough aggressively again. He gets in his car and waits for dia to get into the house. When she approaches the front door she turns around and waves to chuck. He waves back and drives off.

CUT TO INSIDE CAR

dick is sitting in his dark car with no lights on. He can see dia waving to chuck. He watches chuck drive off. He begins to apply his leather gloves.

CUT TO INSIDE HOUSE

dia is approaching her answering machine. She pushes the button. And fixes herself a drink

MACHINE

you have 3 new messages.

Message one.

Hey dia it’s Jackie. Hey I just wanted to let you know that the party is on Thursday. Be sure to bring your whip, gimp suit, and handcuffs. It’s gonna be some party. See ya.

Message two.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! PLEASE HELP! IF YOU ARE THERE PLEASE CALL THE POLICE! HE’S GONNA KILL ME! MY ADDRESS IS 185 MA................... BEEP!

Message three.

Hey Dia it’s dick. Hey I heard you’re getting out of jail. Call me up later. I have something I want to sow you.

End of messages.

Dia walks to the doorway and turns the kitchen light off. There is a knock at the door. She goes over to the door and opens it.

CUT TO DOORWAY

dick is standing in the doorway.

DICK

Hey dia. It’s been a while

DIA

Dick.

DICK

well aren’t you gonna invite me in

DIA

Sure. Come on in.

Dick walks through the doorway.

DIA

do you want something to drink?

DICK

A red Bull would be nice

Dia walks over and retrieves a red bull for dick. She hands it to him. He violently guzzles the liquid.

DIA

hey I want to thank you for bailing me out.

DICK

oh no problem

DIA

I also want to thank you for getting me arrested.

DICK

Hey that wasn’t my fault

DIA

Oh come on dick you wanted me to bring those quarters back to America. You’re just too caught up in your guns to think about others. You’re not willing to take the risk for yourself.

DICK

Alright just chill out Dia. It’s gonna be alright now. Just take a seat.

He takes dia by the shoulders and guides her to the couch. She sits down. Dick walks over to the light switch and dims the light until all that can be seen is the light from outside the window.

DICK

Listen dia. You know you’re one of my favorite people but sometimes I have to lose those people.

You hear a gun being cocked.

DICK

Is that a gun against my pee pee?

DIA

You bet your gosh darn rear end it is.

DICK

What are you doing dia?

DIA

I’m defending myself. Another move and you will no longer have your pride.

DICK

Okay Dia let’s negotiate.

DIA

Okay you drop your gun and I drop mine.

DICK

I don’t know if I can drop my gun. It’s been attached to my body since I was born. Plus you’re holding it up with your weapon.

DIA

Your other gun idiot.

DICK

O well this thing in my hand is not my gun it is my weapon

DIA

well whatever. Just drop it!

DICK

okay

you hear the gun hit the floor.

DICK

okay now drop yours

you hear another gun hit the floor

DIA

Go turn the light back on please

Dick walks over and turns the lights on.

DIA

now if you don’t mind dick. I would like to get some sleep.

DICK

Sure. See you around Dia.

DIA

I sure hope not

dick walks toward the door and dia escorts him out. He exits the house and dia closes the door.

FADE OUT OF DOOR

FADE INTO DOOR

there is a knock at the door. It is opened. Chuck grape is standing there.

DIA

Hey chuck. I suppose you want your gun back

CHUCK

Yea

DIA

Sorry I took it but I just felt safer with it last night

CHUCK

you can keep it

DIA

No I got one now.

They sit in silence

DIA

Do you want some coffee?

CHUCK

Yea sure

Dia walks over and pours a cup of coffee for chuck. She hands it to chuck and walks over to the cd player. She sorts through the cd’s. she finds one and puts it in the cd player. It begins playing.

CHUCK

Who is this?

DIA

it’s the new Cher

CHUCK

It’s really good.

DIA

it’s one of my favorites

they sit for a moment listening to the music

CHUCK

Well I have to go. I just wanted to stop by to get the gun

DIA

weapon!

CHUCK

Huh?

DIA

your weapon. That’s your gun

she points at chucks crotch

CHUCK

Garcon means boy.

He leaves the house

CUT TO INSIDE RESTAURANT

subtitle reads 2:50 P.M.

a man and a woman are sitting across from each other.

MAN

So why did you want me to come here?

WOMAN

I have something that I have to tell you

MAN

And what would that be?

The man takes a sip of his coffee

WOMAN

I’m pregnant

the man spits his coffee out

MAN

What did you say?

The man sips his coffee again

WOMAN

I’m pregnant

the man spits out his coffee again

MAN

How could this happen?

He sips

WOMAN

Well, you didn’t do it

he spits

MAN

what do you mean?

He sips

WOMAN

it’s not your baby

he spits

MAN

Oh my god! Are you serious?

He sips

WOMAN

yes

he spits

he raises his hand

MAN

yo woman!. I need some coffee!

The waitress comes over and pours the coffee.

MAN

The coffee is kinda stale tasting

WAITRESS

realy?

MAN

Yea. Taste it

the waitress picks up a clean cup from the table and pours a little bit of coffee in it. She takes a sip

MAN

I just found out that my wife is pregnant

the waitress spits out her coffee

WAITRESS

No Way!. Congratulations!

She takes another sip

MAN

it’s not my baby though

she spits

WAITRESS

what!?

The man and the waitress both sip their coffee

WOMAN

um. There is one more thing. The man I had it with was a Pakistani.

The man and the waitress both spit their coffee. Someone comes out of no where and spits their coffee. Another person comes out of nowhere and spits their coffee.

ALL COFFEE SPITTERS

O MY GOD!!!!

CUT TO ROOM

B.B. is playing with Lego’s . She gets up and heads to the bathroom. She finds the medicine cabinet and opens it. She finds a package of sweet tarts. She takes one out and eats it. She stands still for a moment. She exits the bathroom.

CUT TO BB’S PERSPECTIVE

her vision is sort of blurry and dream like. she walks around the corner and sees a strange man in a trench coat.

MAN

Hello little girl. Would you like to go to a party?

She nods her head

MAN

Well come with me.

He holds his hand out and bb grabs it. They walk to the front door and they exit the house. They walk to the mans car. He opens the door for her. She gets in. The man walks around to the drivers side. He gets in and takes out a tube of modeling glue and a paper bag. He pours the glue in the bag. He hands it to BB

MAN

Here BB. Breathe from this bag for a few minutes. Itl make you feel good.

BB grabs the bag and begins to breathe from it. Her vision slowly darkens. Her eyes close.

CUT O BLACKNESS

VOICE

BB......... BB. Wake up BB.

Her eyes open slowly. When completely open her vision begins to improve. You can see the man and a woman standing in front of her.

MAN

When did she say she was going to be here?

WOMAN

She should be here any time now.

You hear the sound of a door slamming.

VOICE

Hey guys! Sorry I’m late!

A figure begins to walk down the stairs. It is Dia Brown. In her hand is a set of hand cuffs, a black leather suit, and a leather whip.

DIA

I had to get this suit dry cleaned. It was so filthy.

She looks toward BB and puts a surprised look on her face.

DIA

What is she doing here!?

MAN

I went into her house and took her.

DIA

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?

MAN

what?

DIA

THAT”S BB. SHE IS THE DAUGHTER OF THE BRIDE

MAN

THE BRIDE!!!!!!!??????????

DIA

yes the bride. I’m getting her out of here before Marcus finds you guys.

Just then a man walks down the stairs with a sword.

MARCUS

Too late

Marcus walks up to the man and stabs him in the stomach. The man falls to the ground.

MARCUS

Dia. Get BB out of here and take her to a safe place.

Dia takes BB and the both walk up the stairs. You hear a deathly scream of a woman in the background. Dia opens the front door of the building

CUT TO OUTSIDE

Dia and BB walk off camera view.

CUT TO INSIDE POLICE STATION

the officer is sitting in his chair eating a powdered doughnut. Dia comes rushing in with BB.

DIA

Do you have any information on this girls mother

the officer responds with a mouth full of doughnut

OFFICER

Who’s her mother?

DIA

The Bride

the officer jumps and lets the doughnut fall out of his mouth

OFFICER

THE BRIDE!!!???

DIA

yes the bride. She is never around. BB is constantly getting mixed up with the wrong things.

OFFICER

Well, don’t worry about that right now.

DIA

Why?

OFFICER

because there is something more important for you to worry about

DIA

like what?

OFFICER

your friend Dick

DIA

what about him?

OFFICER

Something isn’t right about him

DIA

What do you mean?

OFFICER

Well, something just seems strange about him. I think we should do some work on him.

DIA

what kind of work?

OFFICER

like undercover work

DIA

how do we go about doing that?

OFFICER

well... he likes quarters. So we can start by getting you into another quarter transporting deal with him.

DIA

alright

OFFICER

If we can catch him with the quarters, we can bust him.

DIA

what do we do?

OFFICER

I will call you later tonight to tell you what is going on. Be prepared to do it tomorrow

DIA

okay

OFFICER

so right now just go home and relax

DIA

Alright

dia gets up and exits the police station. BB has disappeared.

CUT TO FRONT OF BAIL BONDS OFFICE

Dia walks through the door

DIA

hey chuck

CHUCK

Dia. What are you doing here?

DIA

Something is going down

CHUCK

what do you mean?

DIA

the police want to bust dick. They’re gonna try to catch him with a bunch of quarters. I’m thinking that if I can do this right, and with a little help from you, we can walk away with a pretty hefty sum of quarters.

CHUCK

When is this happening?

DIA

the practice run is tomorrow. The officer is planing it out right now. He’s gonna call me tonight to tell me what to do tomorrow.

CHUCK

okay. When you are finished talking to him call me up and we will find a place to put myself in this whole event.

DIA

sounds good. I will call you tonight

Dia walks out of the building. Chuck turns in his chair and presses play on his cd player. The new Cher song starts playing.

CUT TO LANCE ON THE PHONE

sub title reads 12:00 P.M.

Lance is on the phone listening to the person talking

LANCE

okay sounds good. I’ll see you later

he hangs up the phone

TOMMY

who was that?

LANCE

that was Marcus. He’s having a get together at the café. He invited us. Everyone else is supposed to be there as well.

TOMMY

like who?

LANCE

like the bride, her daughter, Dick, Millie, Robert

TOMMY

that sounds like fun

LANCE

We’re gonna meet Marcus at the bar after we give Rico a ride home. He is gonna be talking to bubba about throwing the fight.

TOMMY

o yea the fight is gonna be starting soon.

LANCE

yea no worries man. We’re gonna be able to see the man fall in the fourth round. But before we go to that whole thing, we have to give Rico a ride home.

He looks over to a man sitting in the corner.

LANCE

Are you ready to go Rico?

RICO

yea

he gets up and the three of them all exit the house

CUT TO INSIDE CAR

Lance is driving and talking about a quarter pounder with cheese

LANCE

As I said before they call it a royale with cheese in France because of the metric system.

TOMMY

I thought I told you that

LANCE

No man. I told you that

TOMMY

No it was definitely me.

LANCE

No me

TOMMY

No me

LANCE

No me

Tommy turns around and talks to Rico with his gun pointing at him.

TOMMY

Rico, what do you think of all this?

RICO

Man I don’t have any idea what’s going on

TOMMY

well you must have an opinion. I mean

CUT TO OUTSIDE CAR

you hear four gun shots.

CUT TO INSIDE CAR

Lance and Tommy are covered in blood

LANCE

MAN. WHAT DID YOU JUST DO??!!

TOMMY

I accidentally shot Rico in the face four times

LANCE

HOW DID YOU ACCIDENTALLY SHOOT HIM IN THE FACE FOUR TIMES?

TOMMY

I don’t know I just slipped on the trigger I guess

LANCE

well for some strange reason the blood only got on us. Let’s get Rico to his house and put him in the bath tub or something. Then we can just borrow some clothes from him

TOMMY

this was an expensive suit

LANCE

yea and now it’s an expensive piece of trash

they reach the house and take Rico out of the car.

CUT TO INSIDE HOUSE

They bring Rico inside and put him in his bath tub. They exit the bathroom and go to Rico’s bedroom. The look through the bureaus and take what’s on the top.

CUT TO LANCE AND TOMMY EXITING THE ROOM IN DRESS DOWN CLOTHES

they walk off view

CUT TO INSIDE HOUSE

subtitle reads “two nights before”

Dia is sitting on her couch. Her phone rings. She picks it up

CUT TO OFFICER

OFFICER

Hey dia it’s me.

CUT TO DIA

DIA

Hey what’s the scoop?

CUT TO OFFICER

OFFICER

okay. You’re gonna go to the food court of the mall. I will equipt you with a bag. There will be a few quarters in it. You will be approached by a young lady. You will make an exchange with her. She will give you a bag that look like the one you have. Your job right now is to call dick and tell him that you have more money for him. Tell him your plan and get him to set up the young lady. And remember that this is only a test run.

CUT TO DIA

DIA

alright. I will call dick right now

CUT TO OFFICER

OFFICER

good luck dia

CUT TO DIA

DIA

yea thanks

she hangs up the phone. She dials a few numbers.

CUT TO RINGING PHONE

chuck picks up the phone

CHUCK

Hello?

CUT TO DIA

DIA

Chuck it’s dia

CUT TO CHUCK

CHUCK

Do we have a plan?

CUT TO DIA

DIA

yea. Here’s how it’s gonna go down. *I’m gonna call dick after I’m done talking to you. He is gonna get someone to...

FADE OUT

*fade out is in process during this dialogue

CUT TO INSIDE MALL

there is a sort of scared looking girl sitting at a table eating pizza.

CUT TO DIA WALKING

dia is walking toward the table. She walks up to the girl

DIA

Hello. Do you mind if I sit here?

The girl nods her head. Dia takes a seat and puts her bag down

CUT TO TWO BAGS

dia’s bag is placed next to a similar bag

CUT TO TWO SHOT

dia is drinking a cup of coffee.

DIA

So whats your name?

GIRL

Laniksha

DIA

Laniksha? Thats a very pretty name

LANIKSHA

thank you

DIA

remember to take my bag when you’re done laniksha

Laniksha begins to get up

DIA

no, no. please finish your food.

Laniksha starts eating

DIA

So do you live around here?

LANIKSHA

Yes’m I live in Crompton. It’s full of gangsters and drug dealers

DIA

Oh. That sounds nice

Laniksha gets up

LANIKSHA

It was nice talking to you

DIA

It was nice talking to you too.

CUT TO BAGS

laniksha grabs dia’s bag

CUT TO LANIKSHA

she walks away from the table

CUT TO DICK

he is watching Laniksha walking away from the table

CUT TO THE OFFICER

he is watching Laniksha walking away from the table.

CUT TO CHUCK

he is walking out of a store. He stops to see the officer behind a tree. And dick in front of a food area. He sees Laniksha walking away. He begins to walk and takes the corner. The instant chuck is out of sight dick looks over in that area. Dick begins to walk in the opposite direction. The officer walks off view.

CUT TO INSIDE HOUSE

Dia is walking through her door with a bag of groceries. Her phone is ringing. She rushes to put her bag down. She picks up her phone

DIA

Hello?

CUT TO DICK

DICK

hey Dia. That went a lot smoother than I thaught. I think it should go realy well tomorrow. Now it’s gonna be a little different. You’re still gonna make the exchange at the food court, but that’s only gonna be half of the money. The second exchange will be in the dressing room of GASH. Millie is going to make a second exchange with you. So you’re gonna have two bags. One for the food court and one for the dressing room.

CUT TO DIA

DIA

Why , may I ask, are we doing this?

CUT TO DICK

DICK

because if you or someone else gets busted, only half of the money will be gone. I would rather have half of it than none of it.

CUT TO DIA

DIA

okay. Good plan. I’ll see you tomorrow dick

CUT TO DICK

DICK

Peace Dia

he hangs up the phone.

CUT TO DIA

dia hangs up the phone. She picks it back up and dials a number.

CUT TO PHONE RINGING

chuck picks up the phone

CHUCK

Hello?

CUT TO DIA

DIA

Chuck. Listen there are a few alterations dick made, but I think they will help us even more.

CUT TO CHUCK

CHUCK

Okay what are they

CUT TO DIA

DIA

*after I make the swap at the food court I’m going to go into the dressing room

FADE OUT

*fade out is in process during this dialogue

CUT TO DOOR BUZZER

a finger pushes the button next to the word “DICK”. There is a buzzing noise

CUT TO MILLIE NEXT TO A VOICE BOX

MILLIE

who is it?

CUT TO DIA’S LIPS NEXT TO VOICE BOX

DIA

Dia Rea Brown.

There is a buzzing noise

CUT TO DIA ENTERING BUILDING

the subtitle reads 11:30 A.M.

CUT TO DOOR

Dick is arguing with Millie.

MILLIE

This is B.S. I’m going to wal mart.

She runs into another room. Dia enters through the door.

DICK

Hey dia

DIA

hey. Who was that on the intercom?

DICK

Oh that was Millie, WHO WAS JUST LEAVING!!

Millie comes stomping out of the room and out of the door.

DIA

whats her problem?

DICK

Oh she just wants in on the whole quarter thing. She’s just P.O.’d cause I have simowne helping me out and not her.

DIA

wait! Simowne is helping?

DICK

Yea

DIA

what about that other girl

DICK

she’s no good. She’ll blow our cover

DIA

Alright, if you say so. So is everything all set?

DICK

yea fow show.

DIA

alright, well I guess I will be seeing you at the mall

DICK

cool

Dia turns and exits the appartement

CUT TO FOOD COURT

subtitle reads 12:45 P.M.

Simowne is sitting by herself in a chair eating a burger. Dia walks over to the table behind her and sits down. They are back to back. Dia puts down the bag similar to simowne’s. After a few moments, simowne gets up and takes the bag dia left. After a few more moments, dia gets up and takes the bag simowne left. She walks off view

CUT TO STORE

Robert and Millie are looking at clothes in the corner of the store by the dressing room. Dia walks into view. She is looking at a suit. A woman comes over

WOMAN

Can I help you?

DIA

yes, could I try on this suit?

WOMAN

of course

DIA

thank you

dia takes the suit and walks into the dressing room area. She enters the cubicle and places her bag on the seat. She takes the beach towels off the top of the bag and pulls out another bag. She takes some books that are in the other bag and places them into the new bag. She then puts a few quarters into the bag. She then stacks the towels on top of them. She stacks the towels on top of the one with all the money in it as well.

CUT TO BOTTOM OF DRESSING ROOM DOOR

two feet stand in front of the door

DIA

Millie?

MILLIE

yea.

Dia takes the bag with the books and slides it under the door.

MILLIE

Thank you

the feet walk away . Dia begins to un button her shirt

CUT TO STORE

you see Millie stomping out of the dressing room area with a bag in her hands. She walks out of the store with robert right behind her. Chuck is in the corner watching the whole event. Dia comes out in the suit.

WOMAN

wow that looks great.

DIA

can I pay for this in cash?

WOMAN

yea sure.

DIA

is it alright if I wear this out of the store? I’m kind of in a rush

WOMAN

sure

dia opens her wallet. The cash register shows $225. 00. Dia pulls out $300.00. She hands it to the woman and starts to walk away panickingly.

WOMAN

Hey wait! Your change!

DIA

o yea

she goes back to get her change

DIA

oh by the way. Someone left a bag of beach towels in the last room.

WOMAN

oh ok.

Dia has a panicked look on her face. She starts to walk away. She walks off view. A few moments later, chuck walks from the corner of the store and up to the counter.

CHUCK

excuse me, my wife thinks she left a bag of beach towels in the back room.

WOMAN

yea I think they’re back there. There’s no one back there just go get them.

CHUCK

ok thank you.

He walks into the dressing room area and enters the cubicle. He sees the bag and grabs it. He walks back out.

CHUCK

I got it thank you

the woman smiles and nods and drools. He walks off view

CUT TO DIA WALKING FRANTICALLY ACROSS THE MALL

she is nervously walking. She becomes worse with every step. She eventually falls to the ground and begins to cry. You see that the whole time she was walking on a huge pile of onions. The officer comes running up to her

OFFICER

are you alright?

DIA

yea

OFFICER

did everything go alright?

DIA

yea of course.

CUT TO PARKING LOT

Robert and Millie are walking through the parking lot trying to find the car.

MILLIE

Where is it?

ROBERT

I don’t effing know!

MILLIE

I told you you would forget where we parked

robert halts, turns around and looks at Millie

ROBERT

Just be quiet okay?

MILLIE

ooooo. Mr. Tough guy is getting aggravated. Where’s the car robert? Is it here. How about here, is that it. NOPE!

Robert turns around and shoots Millie in the stomach. She drops to the ground. He walks to the next isle of cars and sees his car.

ROBERT

see I told you I knew where it was

he tries to turn the car on but struggles. Finally the car starts. He drives away.

CUT TO OUTSIDE BUILDING

subtitle reads 1:10 P.M.

Robert’s car is parked outside a building. Dick walks out and enters the car.

CUT TO INSIDE OF CAR.

DICK

hey robert

ROBERT

hey

DICK

how did everything go?

ROBERT

good

dick looks in the back seat

DICK

where’s Millie?

ROBERT

she’s not here

DICK

I know she’s not here. Where is she?

ROBERT

well she was getting on my nerves. She just kept yapping and yapping in my ear she wouldn’t shut up “robet is this the car? Is this the car robert? Is this it robert?”

DICK

So what did you do about it?

ROBERT

Well, I shot her

DICK

come again?

ROBERT

I shot her

DICK

you shot Millie?

ROBERT

yea

DICK

what the eff is wrong with you?

ROBERT

sorry

DICK

SORRY!!??. you know what robert. I’m sorry. I’m sorry it had to come down to this. You used to be a realy good companion robert. But now, I’m afraid I have to let you go.

Dick takes out his gun and shoots robert in the stomach. He falls over.

CUT TO OUTSIDE OF CAR

dick exits the car. He walks off view.

CUT TO NIKKI TRAINING

subtitle reads 1:30 P.M.

CUT TO INSIDE RESTAURANT

subtitle reads 1:55 P.M.

Marcus is sitting at a booth with the bride and BB. Tommy and lance walk in and sit down. Moments later, dia walks in and sits down.

MARCUS

where’s dick?

DIA

I’m not sure

TOMMY

I can’t believe that effing mo fo didn’t throw the fight.

LANCE

I have to go to the bathroom

he gets up and walks off view. Moments later, dick walks in

DICK

hey guys. I can’t stay but I just wanted to see dia.

He looks over to dia

DICK

good job today dia.

DIA

thank you

DICK

byee

dick leaves the restaurant. Moments later, lance returns to the table. Everyone is sitting in silence

FADE OUT

FADE IN

subtitle reads 2:29 P.M.

everyone is eating their food.

TOMMY

so what are we gonna do Marcus

MARCUS

I don’t know. I’m still thinking about that.

CUT TO EVENT AT 2:30 P.M. IN RESTAURANT

CUT BACK TO TABLE

LANCE

you have to do something

they all sit there in silence

FADE OUT

FADE IN

subtitle reads 2:49 P.M.

CUT TO EVENT AT 2:50 P.M. IN RESTAURANT

CUT TO TABLE

everyone is looking in the direction of the noise

DIA

there are some weird things going on in here today

BRIDE

you don’t know me.

DIA

I know I don’t

BRIDE

then get out of my life

BB

hey.... heh.... HEY! Have you ever seen that movie where he’s like “everybody freeze this is a robbery”

BRIDE

SHUT UP BB!!!!!

CUT TO ENGLISH PEOPLE TALKING.

This is the first scene in the movie. The fight scene will engage between Chuck Norris and the customers.

Once every one is dead, the view is panned over to the booth. Lance and Tommy stand up with their guns in their hands.

LANCE

YO NORRIS!!!

Chuck Norris turns around and looks at Tommy and lance. Tommy and lance raise their guns and both fire rounds at chuck. He falls and dies. When he dies, Marcus stands up

MARCUS

I know what to do. Tommy you go to Bubba’s house and wait for him there. When he shows up, pop a cap on him.

TOMMY

okay.

Tommy leaves the restaurant. BB and the bride get up and leave as well.

LANCE

Dia there is a situation going on

DIA

what do you mean?

LANCE

you have something of mine

DIA

what?

LANCE

I’m not really lance

DIA

what do you mean?

Lance takes off his wig and beard to reveal that he is really dick.

DIA

Dick?

DICK

that’s right. I used Lance as my alter ego.

DIA

what about your speech impediment?

DICK

I made all that up. But thats not the problem right now. Right now the problem is that you have my quarters.

Dia screams and runs out of the restaurant.

DICK

I’M GONNA FIND YOU. YOU STUPID “B”

MARCUS

I suppose I will just walk off now

Marcus shuffles away from view. Dick stands there with a confused look on his face

FADE OUT

CUT TO BUBBA ENTERING HIS HOTEL ROOM

subtitle reads 3:30 P.M.

He turns the light on. There is a lady sitting laying on his bed. She has a German accent.

LADY

turn acht light ouff.

BUBBA

Oh sorry

he turns the light off. He walks toward the bed and sits down.

LADY

how was acht fight?

BUBBA

you didn’t hear it?

LADY

I never listen to acht fights.

BUBBA

well, it went well. We’re gonna be rich

LADY

can we go to bora bora

BUBBA

you bet ya

LADY

fun. I’m going to brush mein teith.

She gets up to go to the bathroom. Bubba lays down on the bed. The lady is followed into the bathroom. She begins to brush her teeth. She comes out of the bathroom to ask bubba a question

LADY

bubba? .....

He is asleep on the bed

LADY

never mind

she goes back to brushing her teeth

FADE OUT

FADE IN

it is morning. She is still brushing her teeth. Bubba wakes up very quickly and violently. He hears a lot of noise from the tv

LADY

Bubba. Acht you okay?

BUBBA

what are you watching

there is a scene from pulp fiction on the tv screen.

LADY

acht gun movie

BUBBA

well turn it off

bubba gets up to get his stapler. He searches through his bag. He can not find the stapler

BUBBA

where’s my stapler?

LADY

it should be there

BUBBA

yes it very well should be but where is it? Didi you pack it?

LADY

I think so

BUBBA

you think so. Either you did or you didn’t

LADY

Then I did

BUBBA

WELL WHERE IS IT!!??

LADY

it’s there

BUBBA

IT’S NOT HERE WHICH MEANS YOU FORGOT TO PACK IT WHICH MEANS I HAVE TO GO GET IT WHICH MEANS I WILL BE IN DANGER!!!!!!

LADY

won’t the gangsters be looking for you

BUBBA

YES!!!!!!!!!

She begins to cry

BUBBA

SHUT UP!!!!!

He grabs his coat and runs out the door.

CUT TO INSIDE CAR

bubba is behind the wheel.

BUBBA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CUT TO OUTSIDE OF CAR

you can hear bubba screaming from the outside of the car

CUT TO PARKING LOT

he pulls into a parking space. He gets out and walks across the street. He walks through some hedges and into another yard. He enters a building. He walks down a hallway and stops at a door. He takes a key out and unlocks the door. He enters the appartement. He looks around for anyone in the house. He walks into his bedroom. He finds the stapler and puts it into his pocket. He walks into the kitchen. He assumes there is no one in the house. He opens his cabinet and takes out a box of pop tarts. He places the pop tart into the toaster. He pushes the lever down. He begins to crumple the wrapper when he looks over to see an enormous gun lying on his counter. He walks over to it and picks it up. When he picks it up he hears the toilette flushing in the bathroom behind him. He points the gun toward the door. The door opens and Tommy walks out. He looks up and sees bubba standing there with the gun in his hands. He stares at him in silence. He stares as if he knows his time has come to an end

CUT TO TOASTER

the pop tart pops out of the toaster

CUT TO BUBBA

bubba immediately fires the gun and shoots Tommy dead. The smoke alarm goes off. Bubba walks out of the kitchen and out of the appartement. He walks all the way back to his car. He gets in and drives off. He drives to a cross walk. People are crossing the crosswalk. One of those people are Marcus. He looks over and sees bubba.

MARCUS

YOU MO FO !!!!!

Bubba steps on the gas

CUT TO OUTSIDE OF CAR

he hits Marcus. Marcus rolls over the top of the car. He lies dead on the ground as bubba drives away. People go up to Marcus to see if he is alright. One lady checks his pulse

LADY

HE’S DEAD!!

Her and everyone else scream and run away.

CUT TO OUTSIDE OF HOTEL

bubba pulls up on a bicycle.

BUBBA

HEY HO!!!

The lady comes running out. She gets on the pegs.

LADY

where’s my car?

BUBBA

I got rid of it

LADY

Why

BUBBA

I don’t know

he rides the bike off view

CUT TO OUTSIDE OF HOUSE

Chuck walks up to the front door of the house and knocks. The door opens and dick is standing there.

CHUCK

you called?

DICK

yea. I just wanted to let you know that I have a feeling you’re in on this whole quarter stealing thing.

CHUCK

Dick, I’m just a bondsman. I don’t get myself involved with those things.

DICK

well you better not be lying. Cause I’ll make sure you’re gone fo eva.

CHUCK

Fo eva eva?

DICK

Fo eva eva eva

CHUCK

Fo rizzle?

DICK

no dizzle

CHUCK

well actually Dia brought your quarters down to the station. She wanted me to give them to you.

DICK

okay. Hand them over

CHUCK

they’re at the station. Just come down with me.

DICK

alright

chuck and dick walks toward chucks car. The get in. The car drives away.

CUT TO INSIDE BAIL BONDS OFFICE

subtitle reads 1 hour earlier.

Chuck is standing in the office with dia.

DIA

I’m very nervous. Dick would kill somebody to get those quarters. Including me.

CHUCK

I know. But don’t worry about it. I’m gonna bring him down here. I’m gonna have the officer waiting in the back room. When he comes in, they will take him down.

DIA

Are you sure this is gonna work?

CHUCK

if he so much as lays a finger on you I will shoot him dead. So just sit in my seat. And wait for us.

DIA

okay

she goes over and sits down at chuck’s desk. Chuck exits the building.

FADE OUT

FADE IN

subtitle reads 1 hour later

dia is sitting in the chair. There is a gun in the drawer below her. She is practicing her quick moves to pull the gun out and aim it in front of her. She does this a few times. She gets up and turns the lights off in the office. She sits back down and waits. Moments later, lights from a car illuminate the office.

CUT TO INSIDE CAR

dick momentarily turns the radio on. The new Cher song is playing.

DICK

I didn’t know you liked the new Cher

CHUCK

it’s pretty good

they sit and listen to the song for a moment. Dick then shuts the radio off.

DICK

listen. If I walk in there, and there are a bunch of cops hanging around. You’re the first person I’m gonna kill. So if they’re in there, tell me now.

CHUCK

don’t worry. It’s empty

they exit the car and walk up to the front door. Dick gets there first and waits for chuck. When chuck gets there, dick gives him a serious look. He opens the door and walks in.

DICK

hey why is it so dark in here?

Chuck flicks the lights on. Dick imideatley sees dia sitting at the desk

DICK

hey dia

DIA

dick

just then the officer comes out of a room from the back. And stands there in silence. Dick stares back

DICK

you mo fo

DIA

WATCH OUT HE’S GOT A GUN!!!

The officer pulls out his gin and shoots dick dead. He falls to the ground. Dia looks away in disgust.

CUT TO DICK

the camera zooms in on dick lying dead on the ground. He has a small strand of blood coming out of his mouth and down his cheek.

FADE TO BLACK

CUT TO BB

BB is watching her favorite movie. The part that she is watching is the part of the movie that just happened. Dick gets shot by the officer.

CUT TO VCR

a finger pushes the eject button. The tape comes out. The hand throws the tape on the ground. You see a bat raising in the air. It hits the tape and breaks it into pieces. BB looks at the broken tape in shock. She looks up at the person

CUT TO NIKKI

nikki is standing there with an evil look on her face. BB is doing the same.

BB

let me get ready

Nikki turns around and walks away. BB enters a montage of her getting ready. She dresses in a warrior type outfit. She no longer looks like BB. She does not have the Afro. She simply has the curly black hair in pigtails. She starts walking down the street. There is a back and forth cutting of BB and Nikki walking down the street. They both eventually end up facing eachother. They begin to fight. The scene lasts a while. At one point you think Nikki has won the battle. She begins to walk away from the scene when BB pulls her back and continues to fight her. At one point, BB gets these sort of super powers and begins throwing nikki around. When she has nikki on the ground, she bites into her neck releasing a blood spurt. BB then rips Nikki’s head off and throws it over a cliff. When that is done, BB sits there and mentally turns back into retarded BB.

FADE OUT

CUT TO BRIDE

the bride is sitting in her chair staring at dead bill. She hears a knock at the door. She closes the closet and heard for the door. She opens it and sees no one. She looks down and gets a surprised look on her face. Ellie’s head is at the foot of the steps. The bride closes her eyes and turns her head. She instantly transforms into the bride with blonde hair and a yellow suit. She looks back down at Ellie

BRIDE

how did you knock?

ELLIE

magic

BRIDE

o yea

ELLIE

yea

BRIDE

how do you expect to beat me? You’re nothing but a head

ELLIE

you’re a head

CUT TO BRIDE

BRIDE

you’re a head

CUT TO ELLIE

ELLIE

you’re a head

CUT TO BRIDE

BRIDE

you’re a head

CUT TO ELLIE

ELLIE

you’re a head

CUT TO BRIDE

BRIDE

YOU’RE A HEAD!!!!

The bride lifts up her foot and stomps on ellies head.

ELLIE

OWW!. That realy hurt!

The bride picks up the suit case her head is in and closes it. She brings the suit case into the driveway. She places it at the end of the driveway. She then takes a bottle of some sort of liquid and douses the suit case in it. She then walks to the other end of the driveway, while still pouring the liquid. When she reaches the end of the driveway, she turns around. She pulls out a book of matches. She pulls out a match and gets ready to strike it.

BRIDE

how’s this for magic?

The bride strikes the match and drops it on the ground. A line of fire begins to travel to the suitcase. When it reacher the suitcase. It immediately ignites in flames, burning the suitcase and Ellie’s head. The bride watches the fire for a moment. She turns her head and closes her eyes. She turns back to stoned out bride. She turns around and walks into her house.

CUT TO INSIDE HOUSE

BB is sitting on the couch. The bride walks up and sits next to her.

BRIDE

I think our movie career is over for us.

BB

yea. Looks like we’re gonna be has bens now.

BRIDE

yep

BB

yep

BB and the bride both simotaniously take out a pixie stick. The eat the sugar at the same time. They both begin to have a scared look on their face. They look at eachother and start screaming.

FADE OUT

CUT TO INSIDE BAIL BONDS OFFICE

dia and chuck are standing in the office.

CHUCK

well, you did good

DIA

yea. I didn’t think it would be possible to get all those quarters for ourselves.

CHUCK

well, it was. So what are you gonna do now?

DIA

I’m gonna go visit my sister and her daughter. She just turned four a few weeks ago.

CHUCK

o yea, where does she live?

DIA

she lives in Pasadena.

CHUCK

I have a friend in Pasadena. Whats her name?

DIA

Vernita Green. Her daughter’s name is Nikki

CHUCK

Hmm. Well I don’t know her. I hope you have a good time. Make sure you swing by the office again some time.

DIA

I sure will. See you around chuck

she begins to exit the building

CHUCK

Bye

dia leaves the office and enters her car. She drives away. Chuck watches the car slowly disappear. He suddenly gets a shocked look on his face. He has a sort of flashback.

CUT TO FLASHBACK

you see the part of vol.0 where the bride is killing vernita green. You then see the part of BBP where BB is biting Nikki in the neck.

 CUT TO CHUCK

chuck looks with a concerned look on his face

CHUCK

uh oh.

FADE OUT

the end credits begin to play

END

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