CONROY'S RULES



The Conroy Rules of Wisdom and Advice

(VERSION 9.1.20 REVISED 1/20)

The key to your moral formation and the essence of understanding responsibility, free will and ethical decision making:

“JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN, DOESN’T MEAN YOU SHOULD.”

Attend to me, grasshopper…

1. Not all dreams come true. That’s not an excuse to stop dreaming or to stop pursuing your dreams. The effort should be its own reward – dreams realized are a humbling bonus.

2. There’s a fine line between self confidence and arrogance. There’s another between humility and self-doubt. Try to combine the two positives and avoid the extremes.

3. Life is not something that happens to you. It’s a gift so you can make a positive difference for others. The quality of our society is the sum total of our individual actions, so kindness is a crucial creative virtue.

4. Standing for something is not optional. “All that is necessary for the forces of evil to win in the world is for enough good men to do nothing.” – Edmund Burke

5. Laugh with people, not at them - unless they’re on a reality show. That type of narcissism deserves ridicule.

6. Listen more + Talk less = Act wisely.

7. Remember who you are and where you came from. Revisit your childhood, keep your family and friends close, contribute to your community – it will help keep you centered.

8. Washington memorized a list of proper behaviors when he was a child that he adhered to all his life. Manners are a small outward sign of consideration for others. Behave with grace – always, everywhere and to all (even to those whom you dislike). If it was good enough for George …

9. Never believe your own … nonsense. Honesty is most important in self-evaluation, and self-evaluation is what elevates us beyond other animals. “The unexamined life is not worth living.” – St. Thomas Aquinas channeling Aristotle

10. Think about Big Things – Who are we? Where did we come from? Why are we here? - it’s a good way to clarify your values. “γνῶθι σεαυτόν” (Gnothi Seauton = Know Thyself – an inscription from the Pythian Oracle at Delphi in Ancient Greece; by the way, the other two incriptions there translate as “Nothing to Excess” and “Beware False Certainty”, also great advice).

Remember: You are ultimately responsible for your own education and character. It’s time to decide what kind of person you wish to be and then try to make that a reality. It won’t be easy and you will definitely fail (sometimes spectacularly) along the way. When you do - see Rule #1

The Essentials

These are personal recommendations and are not intended as an ultimate list or anything of that sort. You will discover things you may wish to add and/or detract from this. Feel free to let me know if you find anything life altering in your own travels. Bon Voyage and Enjoy.

Literature

See Shakespeare performed. Remember, it’s arrogant to dismiss the judgment of generations, and just because the language is difficult or you were once tortured in 9th grade English, you shouldn’t forego one of the monumental achievements in the English language.

For the same reasons, don’t neglect other “classic” authors like Charles Dickens, Jane Austen, Sir Walter Scott, Ernest Hemingway, William Faulkner, Willa Cather, Theodore Dreiser, John Steinbeck, etc. And look at a poem once in a while, too. It requires your brain to do a little mental gymnastics and that’s always healthy. Try a short one like Chanson de L’Automne by Paul Verlaine…

I class History as literature. There are many excellent historians and works of history and biography that will expand your horizons. To begin try, Shelby Foote, The Civil War: A Narrative, David Herbert Donald, Lincoln, Jacques Barzun, From Dawn to Decadence, Stephen Ambrose, D-Day, Niall Ferguson, The Pity of War, David Hackett Fischer, Paul Revere’s Ride, Modris Eckstein Rites of Spring and Samuel Eliot Morison, The Two Ocean War or anything historical written by Winston Churchill.

Beach reading (no particular order – and I know it’s heavy on historical stuff. Seriously, what did you expect?):

The Forever King by Molly Cochran and Warren Murphy;

Shoeless Joe by W.H. Kinsella;

A Canticle for Leibowitz by Walter M. Miller, Jr.;

Little Big Man by Thomas Berger;

The Book of Kells by R. A. MacAvoy;

Goodbye Darkness and The Last Lion by William Manchester;

Below the Salt by Thomas B. Costain;

The Last of the Wine by Mary Renault;

I, Claudius by Robert Graves;

A Conspiracy of Paper by David Liss;

An Instance of the Fingerpost by Iain Pears;

Shogun by James Clavell;

The Sunne In Splendour by Sharon Kay Penman;

Madeleine’s Ghost by Robert Girardi;

The Killer Angels by Michael Shaara;

Burr by Gore Vidal;

The Blessing Way by Tony Hillerman – he has a whole series of mysteries connected to Navajo custom and tradition;

Flashman’s Lady by George Macdonald Fraser – there are many Flashman stories, all hysterically funny;

The Power and the Glory by Graham Greene;

Promised Land by Robert B. Parker;

Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry;

Master and Commander by Patrick O’Brian – another great series with memorable characters and a real feel for the times;

The First Man in Rome by Colleen McCullough – and others in sequel; this one is the best, though;

Into Thin Air by Jon Krakauer;

Cloud of Sparrows by Takashi Matsuoka;

Relic by Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child;

The Game of Kings and Niccolo Rising by Dorothy Dunnett (the best series of historical novels ever written – be advised, the author requires you to pay close attention to detail but rewards you with Masters level knowledge of the 15th and 16th centuries);

Liar’s Poker by Michael Lewis;

Beat to Quarters by C.S. Forester – and all the Hornblower books;

Northwest Passage by Kenneth Roberts;

Young Men and Fire by Norman Maclean;

The Frontiersmen by Allan W. Eckert;

Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee by Dee Brown;

The Source by James Michener;

Forever by Pete Hamill;

Gates of Fire by Steven Pressfield – if you saw 300…;

Time and Again by Jack Finney;

The Alienist by Caleb Carr;

Into The Woods by Harlan Coben

If you like mysteries or adventures and you want to get away from the factory produced novels of guys like James Patterson try these authors: Robert Ludlum (some of his were factory produced after he died), Deanna Raybourn, Robert B. Parker, Steven Saylor, Lindsey Davis, Wilbur Smith, – well I could be here all night, so I’ll stop there. Even though I’m sure I left some great ones out…

Art

Are you kidding? You live in New York and have access to some of the best museums in the world. If you don’t take advantage of that, an opportunity unavailable to most humans, it would be tragic. At a minimum visit the Metropolitan Museum of Art, MOMA, the Guggenheim, the Whitney, the Museum of the City of New York, the Hispanic Society of America, the Cloisters… Oh, go to all of them at least once. Start this summer. Right now – google Bastien Le Page, “Joan of Arc” and look at it in high res…

Music (We’ll talk in class): Don’t limit yourself – try all genres. Here’s enough for a primer:

Classical: Bach, Brandenburg Concertos; Mozart Symphony No. 41 “Jupiter”; Beethoven, Symphony No. 3, 5, 7, 9; Samuel Barber Adagio for Strings; Rachmaninoff, Piano Sonata No. 2; Tchaikovsky Piano Concerto No. 1; Ralph Vaughan Williams Fantasia on a Theme by Sir Thomas Tallis; Dvorak New World Symphony, Holst, The Planets – etc.

Country: Merle Haggard, George Jones, Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, Patsy Cline, Kris Kristofferson, Loretta Lynn are all classic country giants. For more modern artists: Steve Earle, Roseanne Cash, Dwight Yoakam, Lucinda Williams, Jamey Johnson, Toby Keith, and Robert Earl Keen are my favorites.

Jazz and Standards: Charlie Parker, John Coltrane, Miles Davis (Kinda Blue is an absolute must), Louis Armstrong – explore their work; (To start, Listen to Blues for Yolanda by Ben Webster and Coleman Hawkins); singers - nobody beats Ella Fitzgerald (Frank Sinatra is the essential male equivalent). Other singers to check out: Nat King Cole, Sarah Vaughan, Dinah Washington, Bing Crosby, Cassandra Wilson, Jonny Hartman, Billy Eckstine. The Songbooks of classic American songwriters (Gershwin, Berlin, Porter, Mercer, Kern, Strayhorn, Arlen and others) and the “standards” they produced are America’s classic poetry.

Personal Classic Rock Hall of Fame: Bob Dylan, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, The Grateful Dead, The Who, The Kinks, Van Morrison, Little Feat, Bruce Springsteen, Creedence Clearwater Revival, The Allman Brothers, The Band, Steely Dan, The Ramones, The Temptations, Smokey Robinson, Lou Reed, Eric Clapton, Janis Joplin, Sly and The Family Stone, Dire Straits, R.E.M., U2, John Hiatt, Bonnie Raitt, The Beach Boys, David Bowie

Classic Albums (RIP album-oriented radio and WNEW – FM; I listen almost exclusively to WFUV 90.7 and 107.1 The Peak these days): In no particular order:

Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, Rubber Soul, Revolver, The Beatles;

The Sun Sessions, Elvis Presley:

Sticky Fingers, Exile On Main Street, Let It Bleed, The Rolling Stones;

Pet Sounds, The Beach Boys;

What’s Going On?, Marvin Gaye;

Highway 61 Revisited, Blood On The Tracks, Blonde On Blonde, Bob Dylan;

Wish You Were Here, Dark Side of the Moon, The Wall, Pink Floyd;

Physical Graffiti, Led Zeppelin IV, Led Zeppelin;

Music From Big Pink, Cahoots, The Last Waltz, The Band;

Tapestry, Carole King;

Waiting for Columbus, Little Feat;

Road Tested, Bonnie RaittBorn To Run, Born In The USA, The Rising, Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band;

Who’s Next, Tommy, Quadrophenia, The Who;

Talking Book, Innervisions, Fulfillingness’ First Finale, Stevie Wonder;

Rumours, Fleetwood Mac;

Hotel California, The Eagles;

American Beauty, Workingman’s Dead, The Grateful Dead;

Are You Experienced?, Jimi Hendrix;

Moondance, St. Dominic’s Preview, Astral Weeks, Van Morrison;

At Folsom Prison, Johnny Cash;

Graceland, Paul Simon;

London Calling, The Clash;

Parallel Lines, Blondie;

My Aim Is True, Elvis Costello;

Brothers and Sisters, Eat A Peach, The Allman Brothers;

Legend, Bob Marley and the Wailers;

Chronicle, Creedence Clearwater Revival;

Madman Across the Water, Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, Elton John;

The Pretender, Running On Empty, Jackson Browne;

Decade, Neil Young;

Frampton Comes Alive!, Peter Frampton;

End of the Century, The Ramones;

Tim, The Replacements;

Pretzel Logic, Steely Dan;

Havin’ A Party, Southside Johnny and the Asbury Jukes;

Rock ‘n’ Roll Animal, Lou Reed;

Velvet Underground, The Velvet Underground and Nico;

Nevermind, Nirvana;

Off the Wall, Thriller, Michael Jackson;

The Joshua Tree, U2;

Blue, Joni Mitchell;

The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders From Mars, David Bowie

Theater

While we’re on the subject, Broadway always has a revival or two like Anything Goes (Cole Porter) and Nice Work If You Can Get It (George and Ira Gershwin) so you can still go hear those standards in their original context. Try to see a show of some sort at least once a year. It’s expensive, but I don’t think you’ll regret it – and don’t neglect dramas just because musicals get all the press. Local places The Engeman Theater in Northport and the Smithtown Performing Arts Center have some excellent shows, too.

Movies

A few years ago the American Film Institute came out with a list of 100 best movies for Hollywood’s 100th anniversary. You could just go down that list – or the nominated list of 500 for that matter – and get a great appreciation for one of America’s primary contributions to world culture. I’ll cut to the chase (as they say in movie speak) and give you a few (okay, more than a few) of my top choices (again, no particular order):

Citizen Kane (1941),

Casablanca (1942),

The Godfather (1972),

Gone with the Wind (1939),

Lawrence of Arabia (1962),

The Sound of Music (1965),

M*A*S*H (1970),

On the Waterfront (1954),

Singin' in the Rain (1952),

It's a Wonderful Life (1946),

Sunset Blvd. (1950),

The Bridge on the River Kwai (1957),

Stagecoach (1939),

Some Like It Hot (1959),

The African Queen (1951),

The Manchurian Candidate (1962),

An American in Paris (1951),

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (1975),

The Grapes of Wrath (1940),

Forrest Gump (1994),

The Sting (1973),

Gunga Din (1939),

Ben-Hur (1959 or the silent version),

The Maltese Falcon (1941),

Wuthering Heights (1939),

Raging Bull (1980),

The Gold Rush (1925),

Dr. Strangelove (1964),

City Lights (1931),

Bonnie and Clyde (1967),

American Graffiti (1973),

Mr. Smith Goes to Washington (1939),

The Godfather Part II (1974),

High Noon (1952),

To Kill A Mockingbird (1962),

It Happened One Night (1934),

Duck Soup (1933),

The Best Years of Our Lives (1946),

Frankenstein (1931),

Patton (1970),

North By Northwest (1959),

West Side Story (1961),

My Fair Lady (1964),

Rear Window (1954),

King Kong (1933),

The Apartment (1960),

A Streetcar Named Desire (1951),

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969),

Yankee Doodle Dandy (1942),

The General (1927),

Sullivan’s Travels (1941),

The Shawshank Redemption (1994),

In The Heat of The Night (1967),

Spartacus (1960),

12 Angry Men (1957),

A Night At the Opera (1935),

The Adventures of Robin Hood (1938),

My Favorite Year (1984),

The Lady Eve (1941),

My Darling Clementine (1946),

Red River (1948),

Paths of Glory (1957),

How Green Was My Valley (1941),

Lost In Translation (2003),

Almost Famous (2000),

Love Actually (2003),

Breaking Away (1979),

Fences (2016),

Inception (2010),

The Social Network (2010),

The Departed (2006),

There Will Be Blood (2007),

The Last of the Mohicans (1992),

The Hurt Locker (2008),

Shakespeare in Love (1999),

Saving Private Ryan (1999),

The Big Lebowski (1998),

St. Vincent (2014)

The Searchers (1956) – my personal #1

And I like the Marvel superhero movies too

Oh and go to an art house cinema once in a while – like the Huntington Cinema Arts Center and see something off the beaten track. Let me know what you think of these lists - I would welcome your feedback, especially any passionate arguments in favor of a particular writer/artist/work I may have omitted or valued inadequately.

Now go out, do great things and have a happy, healthy, rewarding life!

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