Academic writing typically does not contain elements, such as
ACADEMIC WRITING
A self-study guide
Prof. Marcos Brennan
Centro Universitario de Idiomas, URJC
Academic writing typically does not contain elements, such as
1. personal language
2. judgmental words
3. emotive language
And as a result it is characterised as impersonal and objective. However, academic writing still requires you to develop an argument and express your opinion about issues. For example, by asking you essay questions such as:
|[pic]What do you think? |[pic]Do you agree? |
|[pic]Evaluate... |[pic]Argue in favour of or against... |
Readers are seeking your opinion - what you think about a particular issue, event, or theory. In addition, academic articles or books usually contain opinions in the form of:
|[pic]interpretations of results |[pic]evaluations |[pic]hypotheses |
|[pic]theories |[pic]conclusions | |
| | | |
| | | |
So it is a convention of academic writing to express arguments and opinions, yet this convention also requires that these arguments and opinions incorporate the objective and impersonal style that is a significant feature of academic writing. In academic writing, arguments should imply impartial and sound judgement through the use of rational, impersonal and unemotional language.
Another convention of academic writing is the use of evidence to support the arguments being presented: arguments cannot be presented without supporting evidence or they may sound as if they are just the writer's opinion. This evidence cannot be anecdotal evidence but must be already published or known information presented by authorities in the field. It must be integrated expertly into the structure of your overall argument, into your paragraphs and into your sentences. Certain conventions in academic writing dictate how this supporting evidence is cited or referenced. These conventions ensure that readers of your work are clearly able to find and evaluate the sources of your evidence.
The expression of opinion and argument is an essential part of academic writing. See the expression of opinion and argument in the model texts.
The Model Texts
In the example below, although both the formal and the informal text express opinion, you will notice the opinion expressed in the formal text sounds much more objective. This is because the writer has distanced him or herself from the opinion through the use of impersonal and formal language and supporting evidence. In contrast, the opinion expressed in the informal text is more obvious, direct and subjective. Personal language such as "I think" and a lack of reference to supporting evidence compounds this impression.
Read the texts to view annotations on how the writers have expressed their opinion in the texts.
|Formal Text |Annotations |
|The inequity in the distribution of wealth in Australia is |Opinion is expressed in an impersonal |
|yet another indicator of Australia's lack of egalitarianism. |tone. |
|In 1995, 20% of the Australian population owned 72.2% of | |
|Australia's wealth with the top 50% owning 92.1% (Raskall, |Supporting evidence (with reference to |
|1998: 287). Such a significant skew in the distribution of |authoritative sources) is provided. |
|wealth indicates that, at least in terms of economics, there | |
|is an established class system in Australia. McGregor (1988) |Different degrees of modality have used |
|argues that Australian society can be categorised into three |throughout the paragraphs to make claims|
|levels: the Upper, Middle and Working classes. In addition, |depending on the strength of the |
|it has been shown that most Australians continue to remain in|supporting evidence. |
|the class into which they were born (McGregor, 1988: 156) | |
|despite arguments about the ease of social mobility in |Supporting evidence (with reference to |
|Australian society (Fitzpatrick, 1994). The issue of class |authoritative sources) is provided. |
|and its inherent inequity, however, is further compounded by | |
|factors such as race and gender within and across these class| |
|divisions. | |
| | |
|The relative disadvantage of women with regard to their | |
|earnings and levels of asset ownership indicates that within | |
|classes there is further economic inequity based on gender...| |
| | |
| |Opinion is expressed in an impersonal |
| |tone. |
|Informal Text | |
|Because only a few people have most of the money and power in|Personal language has been used to |
|Australia, I conclude that it is not an equal society. |express opinion making the argument |
|Society has an Upper, Middle and Lower class and I think that|presented seem subjective. |
|most people when they are born into one class, end up staying| |
|in that class for their whole lives. When all three classes |This is a better example of academic |
|are looked at more closely, other things such as the |voice since impersonal language and |
|differences between the sexes and people's racial backgrounds|sentence subjects have been used in |
|also add to the unequal nature of Australian society. |addition to the passive voice. However, |
| |the construction is still relatively |
|Women earn less than men and own less than men. Why is this |informal in comparison to the other |
|so? |text. |
| | |
| |NOTE: No evidence supporting the |
| |writer's expressed opinion has been |
| |included in this paragraph. This is |
| |unacceptable in academic writing. |
| | |
| | |
WHY avoid personal language in academic writing?
Personal language is usually avoided in academic writing because it is subjective and therefore may decrease the authority of the argument; for example:
[pic]the use of personal pronouns "I, we, our" makes the reader aware of the writer's presence in the text.
[pic]The use of judgmental words, "I believe", "I disagree", exacerbates the issue of the writer's presence in the text because the reader becomes aware of the writer's personal feelings about the argument.
[pic]The use of emotive words, "repulsive", "undignified", creates text that is persuasive, increasing the subjective and personal nature of the text.
Academic writing is all about expressing opinion, yet this opinion needs to be presented as an objective, educated position based on sound evidence. Your text should provide and reference this supporting evidence. You will be shown how to present your opinion in impersonal language thus achieving the objective tone of academic writing.
Avoiding emotive words in academic writing
Example text:
Apparently the patient who died of cancer while having her special food and drink needs ignored, died more uncomfortably than was necessary and died in an undignified way. It's a real shame that something as simple as a diet was not taken account of by nurses, thus causing unnecessary pain to the patient. It probably caused even more pain to the patient's family and friends having to see their loved one die like that. How would we feel if we saw our own relative go through that experience?
The red text signifies the use of emotive language. It adds poignant description to the facts and so helps to create the extremely subjective tone of this text. This type of language plays a role in persuading the reader toward the writer's point of view.
Emotive words should be avoided in academic writing because they make a piece of writing sound subjective rather than objective. Although persuasive, these words do not help to argue your case in formal writing as they appeal to emotions rather than helping to create a reasonable and justified conclusion, based on the evidence.
EXERCISE 1: Identify any emotive language (words OR phrases) that has been used in this paragraph. The first example has been identified for you.
But what about those individuals, with a limited knowledge of the law, who do not fit the extremely restrictive legal aid criteria yet will face enormous difficulty paying court or administration fees. These people are forced to use the services of a hugely expensive legal practitioner if they are to have any access to justice. They could represent themselves but this would just increase an
already incredibly inequitable situation. Unbelievably, people that fall into this category may be completely obstructed from gaining access to justice and this can be seen as a clear violation of the foundations of justice of the individual.
Exercise 2: Avoiding emotive language
Change the emotive language in the paragraph by choosing an alternative word or phrase.
Sometimes there may be several correct alternatives or sometimes it may be correct to leave the description blank; for example, in the first instance of emotive language used in the paragraph - 'extremely restrictive legal aid criteria', the description space has been left blank leaving the phrase 'legal aid criteria'.
Principio del formulario
But what about those individuals, with a limited knowledge of the law, who do not fit the extremely restrictive legal aid criteria yet will face paying court and administration fees. These people are forced to use the services of a hugely expensive legal practitioner if they are to have any access to justice whatsoever They could represent themselves but this would just increase the already incredibly inequitable nature of this situation. Unbelievably, people that fall into this category may be completely obstructed from gaining access to justice and this can be seen as a clear violation of the foundations of justice for the individual.
Final del formulario
Feedback: Avoiding emotive language
|Original version includes emotive language |Revised version without emotive language |
|But what about those individuals, with a limited |But what about those individuals, with a limited |
|knowledge of the law, who do not fit the |knowledge of the law, who do not fit the legal |
|extremely restrictive legal aid criteria yet will|aid criteria yet will face difficulties paying |
|face enormous difficulty paying court or |court and administration fees. These people may |
|administration fees. These people are forced to |have to use the services of an expensive legal |
|use the services of a hugely expensive legal |practitioner if they are to gain access to the |
|practitioner if they are to have any access to |legal system. They could represent themselves but|
|justice whatsoever. They could represent |this would just increase the inequitable nature |
|themselves but this would just increase an |of this situation. It may be the case that, |
|already incredibly inequitable situation. |people that fall into this category may have |
|Unbelievably, people that fall into this category|limited access to in their access to justice and |
|may be completely obstructed from gaining access |this can be seen as a breach of the foundations |
|to justice and this can be seen as a clear |of justice for the individual. |
|violation of the foundations of justice of the | |
|individual. | |
NOTE: In the exercise there are sometimes several correct responses to change or eliminate the emotive language. In the revised version of the passage shown only one of the correct responses has been included so it may not be identical to the version you created.
Moving from personal to impersonal language
An example of the type of personal writing to avoid in academic writing:
I believe that the "Design School Model" is a good basic model, yet from reading the related arguments and coming to my own conclusions, I feel that the model is flawed because there are many factors to be considered before a business is even ready to do a successful SWOT analysis, let alone using it solely for the formulation of strategy. Therefore I must conclude, based on the beliefs of Mintzberg, Ansoff and myself, that the "Design School Model" is not a solution to the problem of formulating strategy.
The use of personal pronouns and judgemental words in this text results in a clear expression of the writer's feelings. As a reader therefore, you become very aware of the writer's presence in this text. This characteristic is undesirable for most academic writing.
So how do you move from personal to impersonal language?
Look at how the same opinion is expressed in the following sentences.
|Personal/Informal |Impersonal/Formal |
|Sentence 1 |Sentence 2 |
|I think that management could take a softer stance|Management could take a softer stance against the |
|against our union. |union. |
| |Sentence 3 |
| |A softer stance could be taken against the union. |
The opinion that is expressed is equivalent in all three sentences. It is HOW this opinion is expressed that has changed:
Sentence 1 gives the impression of subjectivity
Sentence 2 and especially sentence 3 are more abstract and thus seem more objective.
How to avoid using personal language
1. Sometimes it is just a matter of eliminating the personal language.
I think Ned Kelly relied on his Irish heritage to gain local sympathy.
Ned Kelly relied on his Irish heritage to gain local sympathy.
We use the passive voice to make our writing sound objective.
The passive voice makes writing sound objective.
2. DO NOT refer to what you think; refer instead to what the evidence suggests.
Beware: "In some disciplines it is acceptable (even preferable) to use personal language. Check these language conventions with your departments."
| AVOID using personal judgement words |USE words referring to the evidence |
|I think |From examining the findings, |
|I feel |In light of the evidence, |
|I believe |From previous research, |
|I am convinced that |Considering the results, |
|I disliked |According to the figures, |
|I liked |As shown in the diagram, |
|I agree |It is evident from the data that |
|I disagree |The literature suggests |
|I am sure that |Given this information, |
|It is my belief that |Some theorists argue that |
The following example from a report expresses many opinions yet personal language is not used to do this. It instead refers to the literature and evidence in the form of survey results as well as using third person constructions - 'it' phrases, (see point 3 below) and so avoids having to use a personal judgement phrase such as "I think" in order to express an opinion.
Example
It is widely accepted in academia that "You must be 'seen' to be heard" (Moles & Clarke, 1995, p85); this sentiment was supported by 84% of the surveyed academics who felt that it was important to publish on the Internet. Moreover, the evidence in the literature suggests academic publishing on the Internet is flourishing. For example, the Directory of Electronic Journals Newsletters and Academic Discussion Lists (5th ed.) lists 675 electronic journals and newsletters, along with 2500 scholarly discussion groups (King, 1995, pl-760).
According to the surveyed academics, 42% would rather publish in a print journal and 56% would prefer to read articles in print journals. From these survey results, it could be argued...
EXERCISE 3:
Refer to what the evidence suggests
In order to avoid using personal language, DO NOT refer to what you think; refer instead to what the evidence suggests.
This paragraph refers to what the author thinks or feels.
Principio del formulario
1. From my reading of the case study, I think the manager felt threatened by the staff's complaints. Rather than seeing this conflict as an opportunity to learn about the needs of his staff, 2. as my understanding of relational management theory suggests, the manager dismissed the complaints completely. 3. I feel Percival's (1988) suggestion that this type of treatment builds hostility and staff dissatisfaction is valid. 4. My essay will show that the situation could have been better resolved if the manager had considered the following issues: ...
Re-word the passage so that it refers instead to what the evidence suggests. Select a more appropriate word or phrase. There may be several correct alternatives.
3. Use the 3rd person or 'It' constructions.
|It could be argued that |It has been suggested that |
|It can be seen that |It appears that |
|It was found that |It is generally agreed that |
|It could be concluded that |It seems that |
|It tends to be |It is widely accepted that |
|It is doubtful that |It is evident from the data that |
Exercise 4: Using the third person (it)
Use the 3rd person or it constructions to avoid using personal language.
This paragraph contains personal language.
Principio del formulario
1.My reading has shown that there are several reasons why plants are dispersed by ants. 2.The one I have found the most agreement for is that ant nests are nutrient enriched sites and therefore it may be advantageous for seeds to germinate from within ant nests (Beatie, 1985). 3.I also found that the results of this study concurred with Berg's (1975) hypothesis that seeds are protected from fire through their burial in ants nests.
Final del formulario
4. Use the passive voice.
The passive voice should be used in academic writing when the 'doer' of the action in a sentence is unknown or irrelevant to the discussion. Passive sentence construction emphasises the events and processes the sentence is describing.
|Personal pronouns are |Active |The passive verb |
|avoided when using the |We cut a segment of the apple and placed it|includes the past |
|passive voice; focus moves |in agar solution. |participle of the verb |
|off 'doer' and onto the | |'to be'. |
|action. |Passive | |
| |A segment of the apple was cut and placed | |
| |in agar solution. | |
| | | |
| |________________ | |
| | | |
| |Active | |
| |Our loggers transport the offcuts to the | |
| |waste station. | |
| | | |
| |Passive | |
| |The offcuts are transported to the waste | |
| |station. | |
Passives
Changing the verb to the passive form
Since a form of the verb 'to be' is added when constructing the passive, the exact form that the passive verb takes depends on whether the action is situated in the past, present or future.
The following table shows some of the passive forms of the verb 'to test'.
|ACTIVE VOICE |PASSIVE VOICE |
|The researchers test the material. |The material is tested by the researchers. |
| |The material is tested. |
|The researchers are testing the material. |The material is being tested by the researchers. |
| |The material is being tested. |
|The researchers will test the material. |The material will be tested by the researchers. |
| |The material will be tested. |
|The researchers should test the material. |The material should be tested by the researchers. |
| |The material should be tested. |
|The researchers should have tested the material. |The material should have been tested by the researchers. |
| |The material should have been tested. |
|The researchers tested the material. |The material was tested by the researchers. |
| |The material was tested. |
|The researchers have tested the material. |The material has been tested by the researchers. |
| |The material has been tested. |
WHY use the passive voice in academic writing?
1. Often in academic writing, we don't want to focus on who is doing an action, but on who is receiving or experiencing the action. The passive voice is thus extremely useful in academic writing because it allows writers to highlight the most important participants or events within sentences by placing them at the beginning of the sentence.
Examples
In the following sentences, the passive construction is preferable because you want readers to focus on the result of an action rather than the person doing the action.
|Active: Scientists classify glass as a solid. |The passive sentence focuses on how |
| |glass is classified, rather than on who |
| |classifies glass. |
|Passive: Glass is classified as a solid. | |
|Active: Four members of the nursing staff observed the |The passive sentence focuses on |
|handwashing practices of staff during rostered shifts. |handwashing practices rather than on the|
| |four members of staff. |
|Passive: The handwashing practices of staff were observed by | |
|four members of the nursing staff during rostered shifts. | |
2. In addition, in academic writing sometimes it is obvious, irrelevant or repetitive to state who the 'doer' of the sentence is: thus the passive voice is a useful way to construct these types of sentences. It is also a way that the use of informal personal pronouns can be avoided; for example,
|One type of work group, the semi-autonomous work group, is |It is obvious that it is the author|
|discussed in a section later in this chapter. |who will be doing the discussing. |
|The group was designed to last for only the lifetime of a |It is irrelevant to the reader here|
|particular project. |who did the designing. |
|The handwashing practices of staff were observed by 4 members of |The passive is used to avoid |
|the nursing staff during rostered shifts. Handwashing, or failure |repeated reference to the known |
|to handwash, following patient contact was recorded. Leaving the |doer of the action (ie. the |
|area without handwashing was considered failure to wash. |observers). |
|The number of seeds found in ant nests were counted. |The passive allows you to avoid |
| |using a personal pronoun (...by us)|
3. Sometimes in academic writing it might be expedient to use the passive voice in order to avoid naming the 'doer' of an action so that the message of your text is less inflammatory; for example, read the following excerpt:
|In this ideology the argument used to sustain the subjugation|The identity of the 'doer' in this text |
|of women has largely rested on premises about biological |could be interpreted as society, the |
|difference - the biological differences between men and women|dominant social paradigm or males. |
|have been used to legitimate hierarchical structures of | |
|social inequality. Women, because of their biological | |
|function as child bearers, have been traditionally confined | |
|to the domestic sphere and excluded from the world 'out | |
|there'. | |
Using the active voice in this passage would change the tone of the passage and create quite different message.
|Passive voice |Active voice |
|In this ideology the argument used to sustain the |In this ideology the argument used to sustain the |
|subjugation of women has largely rested on |subjugation of women has largely rested on |
|premises about biological difference - the |premises about biological difference - society has|
|biological differences between men and women have |used the biological differences between men and |
|been used to legitimate hierarchical structures of|women to legitimate hierarchical structures of |
|social inequality. Women, because of their |social inequality. Society has traditionally |
|biological function as child bearers, have been |confined women, because of their biological |
|traditionally confined to the domestic sphere and |function as child bearers, to the domestic sphere |
|excluded from the world 'out there'. |and excluded them from the world 'out there'. |
The text in the active voice focuses on the 'doers', that is society, rather than on women, the people acted on by the actions of others. The tone of the text is also much more political and accusatory:
'Society has ... confined women... and excluded them'
rather than descriptive and explanatory.
One type of sentence that has two possible forms in the passive is that consisting of Subject + Verb (say, think, feel, expect, etc.) + Noun Clause Object:
a. They say that he knows some very important people.
b. People felt that the police were doing valuable work.
c. Everyone thought that the Government had shown little regard for public opinion.
The ideas expressed in these sentences would, in academic writing, generally be presented in the passive. One possible construction is that where the sentence is introduced by the impersonal it:
a. It is said that he knows some very important people.
b. It was felt that the police were doing valuable work.
c. It was thought that the Government had shown little regard for public opinion.
But in many cases a third construction is possible.
a. He is said to know some very important people.
b. The police were felt to be doing valuable work.
c. The Government was thought to have shown little regard for public opinion.
Exercise 5
Rewrite parts of the following sentences in one alternative passive form, beginning your sentences with "it".
1. We understood that Mr Smith was willing to meet the British Prime Minister.
2. People consider that this surgeon is a brilliant practitioner.
3. When Chain came in on Sunday morning and saw the result, people say that he danced.
4. Somebody claims that the drug produced no undesirable side effects.
5. People expect that the electricity supply industry will be running into surplus capacity by next year.
6. Most people now think that only a small fraction of the nitrous oxide emitted to the atmosphere each year comes from fossil-fuel use, primarily coal.
7. At the present time, researchers believe that the only problem with daytime sleep is that it is too short.
8. Although the government expects the patient to pay for his treatment, he will be reimbursed via the state medical insurance scheme.
9. If one person chooses to cause serious injury to another, we should presume that he or she realises that there is always a risk of death.
10. Someone also alleged that he amassed wealth by exploiting his high credit with the Palmyra court.
Principio del formulario
Final del formulario
Exercise 6
Rewrite parts of the same sentences in the other alternative passive form, beginning your sentences with the words in italics.
REMEMBER!
When to use the passive:
When you want to focus on the person or thing affected by the action, or the action itself;
When it is not important who or what did the action;
When you want to be impersonal or more formal, as in most forms of academic writing.
Form the passive by:
Turning the object of the active sentence into the subject of the passive sentence
Changing the verb to a passive form by adding the appropriate form of the verb 'to be' and the past participle of the main verb.
Nominalisation
Academic writing frequently uses nominalisations; that is, the noun forms of verbs.
The process of nominalisation turns verbs (actions or events) into nouns (things, concepts or people).
The text is now no longer describing actions: it is focused on objects or concepts; for example:
We walked for charity.
The verb 'walked' has been nominalised to the noun 'walk'
The charity walk .....
As you can see from the example above, when a verb is nominalised, it becomes a concept rather than an action. As a consequence, the tone of your writing will sound more abstract and also more formal; for example:
We walked for charity. We raised money for the Leukemia Foundation.
The charity walk raised money for the Leukemia Foundation.
Some more examples of nominalisation are provided below:
(the nouns formed as a result of nominalisation are highlighted in one colour, while the verbs they replace are highlighted in another colour text).
Crime was increasing rapidly and the police were becoming concerned.
The rapid increase in crime was causing concern among the police.
Germany invaded Poland in 1939. This was the immediate cause of the Second World War breaking out.
Germany's invasion of Poland in 1939 was the immediate cause of the outbreak of the Second World War.
Here is an extract from a biology report. Nominalisation has been used frequently in this passage, creating a more academic, abstract tone. (The nouns formed as a result of nominalisation of verb phrases are highlighted.)
|Many Australian plant species produce seeds with fleshy appendages called elaiosomes. It was |
|hypothesised that elaiosomes are involved in the dispersal of seeds by ants. To test this hypothesis, |
|the removal of seeds with elaiosomes was compared to seeds from which the elaiosome had been removed |
|and observations were made to confirm that the agents of seed removal were indeed ants. It was found |
|that the removal of seeds with elaiosomes was significantly greater than those without elaiosomes. |
|Observations of the seed removal process confirmed that ants were the only agents of seed removal. |
The frequent use of nominalisation was one factor responsible for the difference in formality between the model texts.
|Formal Text |Informal Text |
|The inequity in the distribution of wealth in Australia is |Because only a few people have most of |
|yet another indicator of Australia's lack of egalitarianism.|the money and power in Australia, I |
|In1985, 20% of the Australian population owned 72.2% of the |conclude that it is not an equal society.|
|wealth with the top 50% owning 92.1% (Raskall, 1988: 287: ).|Society has an Upper, Middle and Lower |
|Such a significant skew in the distribution of wealth |class and I think that most people when |
|indicates that, at least in terms of economics, there is an |they are born into one class, end up |
|established class system in Australia. McGregor (1988) |staying in that class for their whole |
|argues that Australian society can be categorised into three|lives. When all three classes are looked |
|levels: the Upper; Middle and Working classes. In addition, |at more closely, other things such as the|
|it has been shown that most Australians continue to remain |differences between the sexes and |
|in the class into which they were born (McGregor,1988: 156) |people's racial backgrounds also add to |
|despite arguments about the ease of social mobility in |the unequal nature of Australian society.|
|Australian society (Fitzpatrick, 1994). The issue of class | |
|and its inherent inequity, however, is further compounded by|Women earn less than men and own less |
|factors such as race and gender within and across these |than men. Why is this so? |
|class divisions. | |
| | |
|The relative disadvantage of women with regard to their | |
|earnings and levels of asset ownership indicates that within| |
|classes there is further economic inequity based on | |
|gender....... | |
How to nominalise
There are two main steps you need to take when you nominalise:
1. identify the active verb in the clause
2. change the verb into the noun form.
Look at this example:
The building was constructed according to principles of environmental sustainability.
1. Identify the active verb in the clause
The building was constructed using principles of environmental sustainability.
2. Change the verb into the noun form
|verb: constructed |[pic] |noun: construction |
| |nominalisation | |
The construction of the building used principles of environmental sustainability.
Sometimes, the noun form of the verb will not be appropriate. If this occurs, replace it with a synonym; for example:
Many modern artists employ computers in their work.
|verb: employ |[pic] |noun: employment |
This noun is not appropriate for the sentence. A suitable synonym is 'use':
The modern artists' use of computers in their work..........
Why use nominalisation?
Nominalisation is a significant feature of academic writing contributing greatly to its impersonal tone, abstraction and complexity.
Using nominalisations in your writing will have four main effects:
1. Actions or processes (verbs) become concepts (nouns)
|ORIGINAL |NOMINALISED |
|We walked for charity. |The charity walk .... |
|People benefit from modern technology. |The benefits of modern technology ..... |
2. The people doing the actions can often be left out.
(This helps to foster an impersonal, formal tone in your writing).
Click here for more information on impersonal language.
|ORIGINAL |NOMINALISED |
|We walked for charity. |The charity walk .... |
|People benefit from modern technology. |The benefits of modern technology ..... |
3. Transforming actions into abstract concepts allows you to comment further upon the concept (from an objective stance).
|ORIGINAL |NOMINALISED |
|We walked for charity. |The charity walk was the major fund-raising event for the |
| |Leukaemia Foundation. |
|People benefit from modern |The benefits of modern technology include an increased standard |
|technology. |of living. |
4. The number of clauses of information is reduced; therefore, the 'wordiness' of your writing is decreased. This occurs because more information is able to be compressed into each nominal (noun) group.
(for more information on extending the nominal group, click here)
|ORIGINAL |NOMINALISED |
|/ Birds fly. / This is essential for birds / if they want|/ Flight is essential for a bird's survival.|
|to survive. / |/ |
The original sentence has three clauses while the nominalised sentence has only one.
Commenting on the nominalised concept
When verbs are nominalised they become concepts rather than actions; therefore, you are able (as the writer) to make some further comment or observation about the concept in the sentence. This directly results in an increase in the amount and the density of information you are able to include in a sentence; for example:
The company decided to expand its asset base.
|[pic] |The verb is nominalised. |
The decision to expand the asset base ...
|[pic] |More information commenting upon the newly formed concept |
| |can now be added. |
The decision to expand the asset base was a significant shift in the company's financial strategy.
Another example is:
Children like Sega games.
|[pic] |More information commenting upon the newly formed concept |
| |can now be added. |
The popularity of Sega games
|[pic] |More information commenting upon the newly formed concept |
| |can now be added. |
The popularity of Sega games amongst Japanese children is often seen as a consequence of the lack of personal space available to Japanese people.
Making The Relationship Explicit Between Your Ideas
Nominalisation can be used to express the relationship between sentences more efficiently. In addition, nominalisation allows you to reduce several sentences into a single, more complex sentence. That is, further comment on an idea in one sentence can be included in a single nominalised sentence instead of in several sentences. This structure also has the effect of making the relationship between the ideas expressed in the two sentences more explicit.
There are various relationships that we make between our ideas. These include the following relationship types:
cause/ effect
comparison/ contrast
addition of information
Look at the following two simple sentences. These can be collapsed into one clause and the relationship between the ideas can be made more explicit to the reader.
In 1989, Romania declared independence from communist rule. This resulted in increased freedoms for the population.
Before connecting the two sentences, you must first consider what the relationship is between the two ideas. In this case, the verb of the second sentence, 'resulted', indicates a cause/effect relationship exists between these sentences.
|In 1989, Romania declared independence from communist rule. |(CAUSE) |
| |[pic] |
|This resulted in increased freedoms for the population. |(EFFECT) |
The nominalised first sentence can, therefore, be connected to the second sentence by using this verb.
|In 1989, Romania's declaration of independence from |The verb of the first sentence has been |
|communism resulted in increased freedoms for the |nominalised. |
|population. | |
| |The verb of the second sentence becomes the |
| |verb of the newly formed sentence. |
Look at the following examples of sentences with different types of relationships. The relationship between the sentences is made more explicit when the first sentence is nominalised and the verb of the second sentence becomes the verb of the newly formed sentence, in effect, joining the sentences together.
|Relationship |Original sentences |Nominalised version |
|Cause & Effect |Scientists discovered how to fuse |The discovery of atomic fusion led to |
| |atoms. This led to the development of |the development of the atomic bomb. |
| |the atomic bomb. | |
|Comparison / Contrast |Persecution is the criteria used to |The use of persecution as the criteria |
| |select applicants for refugee status. |to select applicants for refugee status|
| |This contrasts to normal immigration |contrasts to normal immigration |
| |assessment criteria. |assessment criteria. |
|Addition of information|I think euthanasia is important. Its |The importance of euthanasia is its |
| |importance is its concern with human |concern with human rights. |
| |rights. | |
NOTE: Sometimes, you will need to add a verb into the newly joined sentences that more explicitly describes the relationship between the clauses.
|Original |The building incorporated environmentally | |
|sentences |sustainable features. Therefore, it had low | |
| |energy costs. | |
|Nominalised |The incorporation of environmentally |The relationship between the ideas |
|sentence |sustainable features into the building |is made more explicit by the |
| |resulted in low energy costs. |addition of this word. |
Nouns include:
|people |[pic] |the Pope, James, the author |
|places |[pic] |the corner store, Alaska, the virtual classroom |
|objects/concepts |[pic] |dictionaries, the economy, the Depression era |
|(these types of nouns include tangible objects as well as abstract ones). |
In academic writing, nouns are often used as part of large nominal groups. Nominal groups are groups of words that provide more information about people, places or concepts. The Depression era is an example of a nominal group because it includes more information than just the 'thing' itself: Depression classifies the particular era. Nominal groups are important because they typically provide the content in a text (what something is about); in academic writing this content can be very sophisticated, abstract and complex.
Here are some examples of nominal groups from academic writing:
[pic]the major policy priority
[pic]the establishment of the Union Club in Madrid
[pic]the rate of economic growth
[pic]the practice of responsible government in Britain
Nominal groups in academic writing often include nominalisations. In the process of nominalisation, verbs or actions are transformed to nouns or nominal groups.
Look at the example
The company decided to expand its asset base.
The verb 'decide' can be nominalised into the noun 'the decision'
The decision to expand the asset base ...
The nominalised verb then becomes the head noun of the nominal group and further explanatory or contextual information can be added to the nominal group.
The decision to expand the company's asset base was a significant shift in the company's financial strategy.
Examples of Extended nominal groups
Academic writing can often include very large or extended nominal groups; for example:
(each nominal group is represented by a different colour)
The conventional wisdom, which interpreted Australian social history as the working out of the egalitarian radicalism of the nineteenth century, came under sustained attack from a number of writers in the 1950's and 60's.
Executive authority, the power of the final political decision, is vested in a ministry whose members in Australia must be members of Parliament to whom they are individually and collectively responsible.
As you can see from the examples, a nominal group can expand to include a wide range of information. In fact, in academic writing the density of information in a sentence is usually quite high; you can convey a lot of meaning through the use of a few words.
One of the factors responsible for the difference in formality between the model texts was the presence of large nominal groups. Look at these excerpts from the model texts. Each nominal group has been highlighted.
|Formal Text |Informal Text |
|The inequity in the distribution of wealth in |Because only a few people have most of the money |
|Australia is yet another indicator of Australia's |and power in Australia, I conclude that it is not |
|lack of egalitarianism. |an equal society. |
|... most Australians continue to remain in the |... most people when they are born into one class,|
|class into which they were born (McGregor,1988: |end up staying in that class for their whole |
|156) despite arguments about the ease of social |lives. |
|mobility in Australian society (Fitzpatrick, | |
|1994). | |
|The relative disadvantage of women with regard to |Women earn less than men and own less than men. |
|their earnings and levels of asset ownership |Why is this so? |
|indicates that within classes there is further | |
|economic inequity based on gender ... | |
There are various ways of expanding nominal groups to include a wide range of information; one method is to extend the nominal group by embedding information into it that modifies the meaning of the noun.
Extended Nominal Groups and Academic Writing
In this section so far you have only seen sentences that include one or two nominal groups. In academic writing, it is common for a sentence to include many nominal groups with a large range in the complexity of the nominal groups (the amount of contextual information each nominal group includes). Complex nominal groups are a significant feature of academic writing, and the ability to construct complex nominal groups is intrinsic to becoming a sophisticated writer at university.
Read the passage below; the nominal groups (which include contextual information before and after the head-noun) are colour coded. Reflect on how many nominal groups there are in this text.
(The nominal groups are colour coded. Blue represents the first nominal group in each sentence, purple the second, red the third, teal the forth and green the fifth). The head noun of each nominal group has been underlined.
The social benefits of modern technology include the increased provision of goods, services and employment. While this technology has many negative side-effects on the environment, particularly in regards to pollution, modern society is dependent on the benefits that this technology provides. In recent years, increasing public awareness of the extent of environmental destruction as a result of this technology has spurred scientific investigation into technologies which provide a more sustainable outcome for the environment.
It is surprising how many large nominal groups exist in even this small amount of academic text. This is why you have to learn to extend the nominal groups in your own academic writing.
Transforming the sentence into an extended nominal group
It was previously mentioned that the nominal group structure is elastic as it can expand to include a large amount of pre and post modifying elements around the noun. The elasticity of the nominal group means the information provided in a sentence can be condensed into the nominal group rather than spread out into separate clauses. This action is often referred to as 'packing' information into the nominal group.
Nominalisation involves transforming the active verb of a sentence into a noun (click here for more information on nominalisation). It allows more information to be packed around the noun. As a consequence of the nominalisation process, you will no longer have a sentence but a nominal group; however, by expanding the nominal group to include information from the original sentence, you are then able to link the expanded nominal group to another idea creating a denser, more information packed sentence.
Example:
|Toxic chemical are handled carefully in industrial environments. |active verb |
|The verb is nominalised |'are handled' |[pic] |'handling'. |
The nominalised verb becomes the head noun of the nominal group you have formed. The rest of the information from the sentence can be added as contextual or modifying information around the noun.
|handling |
| |what type of handling? | | |
|Careful handling |
| |handling of what? | |
|Careful handling of toxic chemicals |
| |handling of toxic chemicals where? |
|Careful handling of toxic chemicals in industrial environments ..... |
|(This is the completed nominal group) |
This example shows that a whole sentence can be transformed into an extended nominal group.
|Original: |Toxic chemical are handled carefully in industrial environments. |
|[pic] |
|Extended nominal group: |Careful handling of toxic chemicals in industrial |
| |environments.......... |
The extended nominal group can now be linked to another idea; for example:
Careful handling of toxic chemicals in industrial environments is a necessary safety measure.
Further examples transforming a sentence to an extended nominal group
Example sentence:
Ants were removing the seeds frequently.
|Verb = removing |[pic]|Noun = removal |
|The removal |
| |removal of what? | | |
|The removal of seeds |
| |Removal by whom? | |
|The removal of seeds by ants |
| |removal how often? |
|The frequent removal of seeds by ants |
|(This is the completed nominal group.) |
The extended nominal group can now be linked to another idea; for example:
The frequent removal of seeds by ants in this experiment is indicative their role in seed dispersal in native forest eco-systems.
By nominalising and then extending the nominal group, two sentences can be collapsed into one.
Example sentence:
Workers are exposed to EMR and other chemicals in factories. This phenomena is largely unregulated in Australia.
|Verb = exposed |[pic]|Noun = exposure |
|The exposure |
| |Exposure of whom? | | |
|The exposure of workers |
| |Exposure to what? | |
|The exposure of workers to EMR and other chemicals in Australian factories |
| |Exposure how? |
|The largely unregulated exposure of workers to EMR and other chemicals in Australian factories |
|(This is the completed nominal group.) |
The extended nominal group can now be linked to another idea; for example:
The largely unregulated exposure of workers to EMR and other chemicals in Australian factories is due to machines such as heat sealers and other heat combustion devices.
The nominal group and relative clauses
The information contained by a nominal group can also be expanded through the addition of a clause containing further nominal groups. One type of clause common in nominal groups is a relative clause. A relative clause is dependent clause: that is, the information it contains cannot stand alone, it is dependent on the information contained in the previous (independent) clause. A relative clause is introduced by a relative pronoun such as who, whose, whom, that or which. Relative clauses can also be introduced by relative adverbs such as when, where, why. The function of relative clauses is to modify or describe a noun or pronoun in the independent clause (Oshima and Hogue, 1991: 208).
Here are some examples of relative clauses. The relative clause in each sentence is highlighted:
The waterfront workers who were on strike blocked the entrance to the dock.
(only the waterfront workers who were on strike blocked the entrance)
Library books which are overdue will incur a fine.
The exam that caused the most anxiety was statistics.
The room where staff and students meet is located in the main building.
Notice that there are no commas in these sentences. This is because the relative clause is part of the nominal group: it serves to define and identify it. This type of relative clause is called a defining relative clause.
Another type of relative clause exists: the non-defining relative clause. Non-defining relative clauses provide additional information about the nominal group, but these types of relative clauses are NOT part of the nominal group. Below are some examples of non-defining relative clauses:
The waterfront workers, who were on strike, blocked the entrance to the dock.
(all the workers were on strike, and they all blocked the entrance.)
Your library books, which are overdue, should be returned immediately.
(all of your library books are overdue and they all should be returned immediately.)
The statistics exam, which I no doubt will fail, is finally over.
Defining relative clauses are a useful way of condensing information and avoiding unnecessary repetition in your writing. The repetition in the following sentences, for example, could be avoided by creating a defining relative clause.
Some of the waterfront workers were on strike. Some of the waterfront workers blocked the entrance to the dock.
The waterfront workers who were on strike blocked the entrance to the dock.
Japanese cars are popular in the USA. This situation is a major problem for the auto industry.
A situation that is causing a major problem in the auto industry is the popularity of Japanese cars.
Nominalisation and extended nominal groups
Nominalisation and extended nominal groups are significant features of academic writing. The ability to nominalise verbs and to construct extended nominal groups is intrinsic to becoming a sophisticated writer at University.
Warning:
If nominalisation is used in every sentence, your writing will sound too abstract and may be difficult to read. Be careful to use a mixture of nominalisation, passive voice and active voice.
Sometimes if you expand your nominal group to include too much information your meaning may become unclear. In this case, it would be better to 'unpack' some of the information from your nominal group and put it into a separate clause.
The key to good writing is variation.
Checklist of language to avoid in academic writing
1. Do not use contractions
Contractions are the words formed from two abbreviated words, such as "don't", "can't" and "won't". Please write the full words.
2. Do not use colloquial vocabulary
Colloquial vocabulary includes words and expressions that are used in everyday spoken language. They do not provide the exactness needed in an academic setting (Fowler & Allen, 1992).
An example is:
Retirement is something most of us must face sooner or later.
This could be replaced by the more formally worded:
Retirement is inevitable.
Also avoid other types of conversational language such as figures of speech, clichés and idioms; for example:
|Colloquial Expression |Formal Alternative |
|above board |legitimate |
|reached a happy medium |reached an acceptable compromise |
|get through it |survive, penetrate |
|part and parcel |intrinsic to |
|easier said than done |more difficult in practice |
|beyond a shadow of doubt |definitely |
|in recent years |recently |
|pay lip service to |support through words but not through actions |
|got out of hand |was no longer under control |
|a stumbling block |point of contention |
|explored every avenue |investigated alternatives |
3. Avoid using run-on expressions
Run on expressions include phrases such as 'and so forth', 'and so on' or 'etc.'. Try to complete the sentence properly; do not use these if you can avoid them; for example:
|Informal (includes run on) |Formal Alternative |
|Nurses must take into consideration patients' |Nurses must take into consideration patients' |
|dietary needs resulting from allergies, |dietary needs resulting from allergies, medication|
|medication, medical conditions and so on. |and medical conditions. |
|Public transport includes vehicles for public use |Public transport includes vehicles for public use,|
|on the roads, airways, waterways etc. |such as buses, trains and aeroplanes. |
4. Do not use rhetorical questions
A rhetorical question is a question for which no answer is expected. A rhetorical question is one in a written text where the writer assumes the reader knows the answer, or where the writer goes on to answer the question in the text. Such questions are inappropriate for academic writing: readers might not know the answer and the point being made could be more strongly and clearly expressed as a statement. You should not risk your point being misunderstood: make your point clear and 'up front'; for example:
|Informal (includes rhetorical question) |Formal |
|Industrial sites cause vast amounts of |The question surrounding the continued use of |
|environmental pollution, so why do we still use |industrial sites, given their vast pollution |
|them? |production, still remains. |
|What is a team? A team can be one person but will |A team can include one person but usually involves|
|usually end up including many more. |many more. |
|The question is, however, does the "Design School |It is questionable whether the "Design School |
|Model" provide a practical solution to the problem|Model" provides a practical solution to the |
|of how to formulate strategy? |problem of strategy formulation. |
Notice that you can change your rhetorical questions into statements and still use them effectively in an essay.
5. Place adverbs within the verb
Adverbs should be placed within the verb group rather than in the initial or final positions. In informal English, adverbs often occur as clauses at the beginning or end of sentences; for example:
|Informal |Formal Alternative |
|Then the solution can be discarded. |The solution can then be discarded. |
|The blood is withdrawn slowly. |The blood is slowly withdrawn. |
Beyond words: Other considerations in achieving an academic tone
You have learnt about the types of language to use and the types of language to avoid in academic writing. What you may find, however, is that an academic tone needs something else besides the removal of individual points of language such as personal pronouns, rhetorical questions or colloquial words. It is often the case, when shifting your work from an informal style to a more formal one, that the organisation of information at the sentence level and even at the paragraph level has to be changed.
Consider the following sentence that could be used to introduce a conclusion.
[pic]
The informal elements have now been removed from the sentence, yet it still reads relatively informally.
If the information in the sentence is reorganised, a much more academic tone is achieved.
|The argument that multiculturalism is beneficial for |The focus of the sentence is now on the|
|economic development has focused on ... (a list of the |argument that has been presented |
|essay's main arguments follow). |throughout the essay. |
|The benefits of multiculturalism for economic | |
|development are ... (a list of the essay's main | |
|arguments follow). | |
Both of these final sentence constructions have become more formal through the use of nominalisation.
Thus when editing your work for a more formal tone, be aware that as well as replacing individual elements of language with more formal ones, you may also have to change the way information is organised within sentences.
Developing knowledge and understanding of the specialist language in your discipline
Each discipline that you study at University will have its own specialist language and terminology. A more academic text will use these technical terms instead of everyday language. Disciplines also differ in the amount of technical language that is required; for example, compare the amount of specialist language that has been used in the following example texts from Science (Biology) and Economics (Management).
|The number of Dillwynia juniperina seeds with elaiosomes removed per depot was significantly different|
|from the number of seeds without elaiosomes removed per depot (t = 9.64, d.f. = 38, p < 0.05). The |
|mean (± SD) number of seeds with elaiosomes removed was 6.75 (± 2.27), compared to 1.15 (± 1.27) for |
|seeds without elaiosomes (see Figure 1). In contrast, for Acacia linifolia the number of seeds with |
|elaiosomes removed per depot was not significantly different to the number of seeds without elaiosomes|
|(t = 0.98, d.f. = 37, p > 0.05) (see Figure 1). |
|The adoption of a classical management style can produce managers who are non-reflexive or show tunnel|
|vision when problem solving. One symptom of tunnel vision is selective focussing (Fulop, 1995), where |
|the manager only looks at an issue from his or her own perspective rather than attempting to identify |
|alternative perspectives such as that of subordinate staff. In contrast, more modern management styles|
|aim to use a critical approach to problem solving as well as utilising relational management |
|techniques to create workable employer-employee relations (Fulop, 1995). |
BEWARE: Do not use technical terminology just for the sake of it, especially if you don't know the meanings of the terms. Nothing is more obvious to a knowledgeable reader than specialist language that has been used inappropriately.
The best way to widen your technical vocabulary in your discipline is to read widely. Make sure that you look up the definitions of any terminology you don't understand. Discipline specific dictionaries make this task much easier and are widely available in university bookshops. It might be useful to develop a list of commonly used terminology and their definitions while you are reading: this list can then be used when writing your assignments.
It is important to be aware that normal words can often have a specialist definition within a discipline that differs from and may not even be related to its common English definition. In Geography, for example, "filling" has a precise meteorological meaning: increasing atmospheric pressure at the centre of a depression. Most people, however, would take this word to mean either a dental filling or filling in time. In addition, words such as retrieval, response and even behaviour when used in Psychology have a much more technical meaning than their intended meaning in everyday usage.
Exercise 7: The specialist language of disciplines
Look at the many meanings the same word can have in different academic disciplines. Click on the highlighted word to see its meaning within a specific context.
|The issue of land rights is significant for Aboriginal people. |
| |
|For the memory task, the number of participants from the no breakfast condition who performed poorly |
|was significant. |
|Man is one of the few mammals with the ability of accommodation. |
| |
|The Union has attempted to accommodate Management's desire for improved efficiency, while negotiating |
|for improvements in employment conditions. |
| |
|The amount of publicly funded accommodation provided for victims of domestic violence has increased |
|only marginally despite the Government's budget promise of further funding. |
| |
|Piaget's notions of assimilation and accommodation help to explain how children develop knowledge. |
|News Limited is the dominant partner in the takeover bid. |
| |
|In terms of eye colour, blue is dominant. |
|Obtaining the focus requires some lengthy calculations, especially if the value of the directrix is |
|unknown. |
| |
|The first step of any visual manipulation experiment requires the light machine to have focus. |
| |
|Results indicate that the image which captures the focus of attention is retained for the longest |
|period. |
|Recovery from this type of sports injury requires many hours of passive therapy. |
| |
|The use of the passive voice is one technique that helps writing to sound more formal. |
| |
|In early Australian literature, women were portrayed as playing a passive role, however, some examples|
|to the contrary do exist. |
|It has been noted that caste regulations typically end at the work place leading to debate about the |
|degree to which this system stands in the way of industrialisation. |
| |
|Unlike other eusocial insects, the caste distinctions in termites are not related to sex. |
Hints for choosing more formal words
In academic writing you should aim to be succinct, thus:
1. When picking a word, choose the most relevant and specific one for the point you wish to make; for example:
(match the colours across the examples to see the alternative words)
|Informal |Formal |
|Lots of job loss is just one thing resulting |Widespread unemployment is one consequence of |
|from automation. |automation. |
|The common owl is active at night. |The common owl is nocturnal. |
Want to practise this skill? You can go to a skill development exercise based on the information contained in hint 1.
2. Also try to use the most formal way of expressing your point (this may mean you use a more technical word); for example:
|job loss |[pic] |unemployment |
|T.V. |[pic] |television |
|workers |[pic] |employees |
|the same as |[pic] |Equivalent to |
HINT: although you aim to use more formal words in academic writing, you should not aim to obscure your meaning behind a lot of impressive words. Ultimately you should try to achieve succinct, clear prose.
2a. Avoid using phrasal verbs such as 'get up', 'put into', 'find out' that are often used in spoken English. Replace these verbs with more formal single verbs such as 'rise', 'contribute' and 'discover'; for example:
|Informal |Formal |
|Researchers looked at the way strain builds up |Researchers examined the way strain intensifies |
|round a geological fault. |around a geological fault. |
|Technology companies got together with |Technology companies merged with stockbroking |
|stockbroking firms in order to dominate internet |firms in order to dominate internet trading. |
|trading. | |
Exercise 8: Choosing relevant and specific words
Rewrite the following sentences using the word in brackets. You may need to add some words so the sentence makes sense. Look at your answers and see how much shorter the new sentence becomes when a more specific word is used.
Principio del formulario
The two companies combined together to form one. (merged)
The public were able to go through the museum at certain times for free. (free access)
The author felt his novel had improved because his publisher had gone through it and made changes. (edited)
In first world countries today, humans would not be able to live without money. (dependent)
Exercise 9: Choosing formal words
In this exercise think about formalising the WORDS you use to express the point.
Principio del formulario
Faced with the company's grim financial reality, both groups agreed that the talks about the company's efficiency problems had achieved a very good result . advice from the outside said the company could bring about big change by increasing the amount of goods produced per hour. The unions accepted this comment but suggested the gains would be reached faster if management came up with better policies as well as buying better equipment. Management said spending on equipment had gone up by 15% during the 1990s but they agreed to look into this issue. The reaction to the talks was pretty good and has resulted in everyone getting on better at work.
Final del formulario
Feedback: Choosing formal words
The correct answers to the exercise are below. Compare the original version of the passage to the formal version. The words and their replacements in the formal version of the text have been colour coded to help you make this comparison. You will see that sometimes several alternatives were correct.
Although the message of the text is the same, the formal version has a much more academic tone. It has achieved this through a more sophisticated word choice in addition to an increase in the relevance and specificity of descriptive phrases in the text.
You may have got some of your answers incorrect yet feel the alternative you chose was an improvement on the original. This may have been the case but you will find that the alternatives below are the correct ones because they offered the most specific or formal description from the choices available.
|Original Version |Formal Version |
|Faced with the grim financial reality, |After considering / Upon examination of the unfavourable fiscal|
|both groups agreed that the talks about |situation, both negotiating parties agreed that the discussions|
|the company's efficiency problems had |about the company's efficiency problems had achieved a mutually|
|achieved a very good result. Advice from |beneficial result. External advice suggested the company could |
|outside said the company could bring about|realise / achieve a significant expansion in total production /|
|big change by increasing the amount of |a major increase in total production by becoming more efficient|
|goods produced per hour. The unions |/ increasing efficiency. The unions accepted this |
|accepted this comment but suggested the |recommendation / assertion but suggested the gains would be |
|gains would be reached faster if |further realised if management formulated / developed |
|management came up with better policies as|increasingly flexible shiftwork policies as well as purchasing |
|well as buying better equipment. |more hydraulically powered / purchasing more technologically |
|Management said spending on equipment had |advanced equipment. Management asserted / contended / stated |
|gone up by 15% during the 1990s but they |expenditure / the fiscal outlay on equipment had grown / |
|agreed to look into this issue. The |increased / risen by 15% during the 1990s but they agreed to |
|reaction to the talks was pretty good and |investigate / evaluate this issue. The reaction to the |
|has resulted in everyone getting on better|discussions / negotiations was positive / favourable and has |
|at work. |resulted in improved workplace relations. |
3. Make sure the description you provide is as specific as possible.
Look at the colour coded words and phrases to see the differences in word choice in the following examples. The exactness of the description has been increased by including more specific adjective (fiscal) as well as additional descriptive words (highlighted); for example:
|Informal |Formal |
|The government has made progress in economic |The Australian Government has made considerable |
|policy. |progress in implementing fiscal policy nationwide.|
3a. A specific description means you also need to avoid using unsophisticated adjectives such as 'good', 'bad', 'big', 'little'; for example:
|Informal |Formal |
|One of the bad aspects of chemotherapy is the side|One of the negative aspects of multi-drug |
|effects. |chemotherapy is the uncomfortable side-effects. |
Also avoid using adverbs such as 'really', 'very', 'just'; for example:
|Informal/ Spoken |Formal |
|It caused a really big reaction. |It caused a considerable reaction. |
| |It caused a dramatic reaction. |
| |It caused an explosive reaction. |
Notice that in the previous three examples, a more comprehensive description has been achieved because unsophisticated and non-specific words have been replaced with more formal descriptive words.
Where do we find opinion in academic writing?
Where opinion occurs in academic writing depends to a large extent on the genre, or type of writing; for example, in essay and report writing expression of opinion and attitude is more predominant in introductions (where the essay's thesis is outlined), and conclusions (where reflections and recommendations are sometimes made) although opinion can also be expressed throughout the piece of writing. Look at the following examples of writing which come from a variety of disciplines. Read each text for more information about how opinion has been expressed in each excerpt.
|Conclusion to Accounting and Finance essay1 |Language features |
|Under the appropriate social and economic |Opinion is qualified so that it applies only to |
|conditions, Value Added Statements (VAS) may |certain situations. |
|become important in presenting additional or | |
|recognised information about an entity to a wider |Low modality |
|audience. They are of most use when they can be | |
|compared with those of past years or with other |Adjective used to express evaluation. |
|companies. However, if the publication of the VAS | |
|is to become widespread throughout the United |Opinion is qualified so that it applies only to |
|Kingdom and in Australia for that matter, there is|certain situations. |
|the need then for accounting standards on their | |
|form and content. This is due to the variety of |The need = this step is necessary in my opinion. |
|methods that are currently employed in their |Nominalisation makes the opinion sound objective, |
|preparation. |more moderate and less obvious than if it had been|
| |expressed in the verb form 'I think we need to'. |
| |More information on nominalisation. |
| | |
| |Evidence supplied to validate opinion. |
|Introduction to a biology report | |
|Many plant species have structures on their seeds |Modality of the claim is lowered to match the |
|to enhance their dispersal. In Australia, over |supporting evidence. |
|1500 plant species produce seeds that bear a | |
|fleshy appendage called an elaiosome (Berg, 1975).| |
|Plant species that produce elaiosomes in Australia| |
|are generally found in dry sclerophyll vegetation | |
|(Berg, 1975). Elaiosomes are thought to be an |Claims are qualified to a specific situation or |
|adaptation to attract ants, who then become agents|object. Exact information is provided about the |
|of seed dispersal (Beattie, 1985). This study |nature of the situation or object. |
|investigates whether elaiosomes increase the | |
|removal of seeds from Fabaceae species plants by | |
|ants. It is hypothesised that the removal of seeds| |
|with elaiosome by ants is greater than that of | |
|seeds without elaiosomes. | |
| | |
| |The results of the experiment discussed in the |
| |report will either prove or disprove this |
| |statement. |
|Explanation of investigation (in Introduction) of | |
|scientific report for nursing | |
|In many radiotherapy centres where planning for |By using the nominalised form of beneficial, 'to |
|external beam treatments is performed by radiation|benefit', the writing sounds more objective and |
|therapists, the treatment sheet and its |unbiased. More information on nominalisation. |
|calculations are independently checked by staff | |
|from a different educational background, typically| |
|a radiotherapy physicist. The benefits of this | |
|practice were evaluated in a radiotherapy | |
|department with two linear accelerators: one | |
|combined superficial-orthovoltage unit and one | |
|telecaesium unit. | |
|Body paragraph of a Management case study | |
|Open lines of communication are necessary to |Statement of argument (Writer's voice). |
|ensure clarity in the expectations of both | |
|management and staff. In the case study, it seems | |
|clear there is a disparity in the manager and the | |
|staff's perception of their roles. It is essential| |
|that the manager clearly set out the | |
|organisational goals, and establishes guidelines |High modality language has been used to make a |
|that outline the contribution of staff towards |recommendation. |
|these goals. As Moorehead (1992:52) suggests | |
|members of staff have their own psychological | |
|contract with the organisation which embodies | |
|their personal expectations about what they will | |
|contribute to an organisation, and what, in |Evidence from authoritative sources supporting the|
|return, the organisation will contribute to them. |writer's argument is integrated into the |
|The use of job descriptions can ensure that an |paragraph. |
|individual's psychological contract and the | |
|expectations of management are compatible. In this| |
|case study, some staff obviously believe that part| |
|of their psychological contract is not being met, | |
|resulting in their workplace dissatisfaction. |The evidence is reflected upon and a further |
| |statement of the writer's opinion is made. |
Modality
Modality is an important technique for the expression of argument and opinion in academic writing. Modality refers to the intermediate choices between yes and no (Halliday, 1985: 86). Very few ideas in academia can be stated as ‘fact’ so using modality allows academic writers to express, with various degrees of certainty, ideas that are not fact.
[pic]Patients do benefit (Yes)
[pic]Patients do not benefit (No)
[pic]Patients may benefit (Low certainty)
[pic]Patients always benefit (High certainty)
A moderate 'low modality' statement of opinion allows for a more tentative conclusion to be drawn. It also appears to present a reasoned and objective argument because it allows for the possibility of evidence contrary to your claims. In comparison, a 'high modality' opinion can appeal to the emotions and so can be perceived as persuasive and subjective. However, if there is ample evidence to support the argument being presented then high modality is appropriate. High modality language is also used in specific genres for specific purposes such as to make recommendations on future research or problem solutions.
High modality:
Age can never be irrelevant.
Low modality:
It appears likely that age is rarely an irrelevant factor...
Modal verbs and adverbs
The table below contains verbs and adverbs that you can use to express the different degrees of certainty or modality of your opinions or argument. It also provides you with some examples of how to structure your sentence to use these words in your writing.
|Certainty of |Modal Verbs/Adverbs |Statement of Claim |
|Conclusion | | |
|Strong |is, will, can not, must, undoubtedly, always, |It is certain that... |
| |never, definitely, clearly |It seems clear that... |
| | |X is definitely... |
|Moderate |should, would, can, ought to, tends to, |It appears probable... |
| |usually, likely, probably, regularly, majority,|It is usually the case that... In|
| |generally, often, frequently, rarely |the majority of cases... |
| | |The results suggest it is likely |
| | |that... |
|Tentative |May, might, could, possible, conceivable, |Conceivably,... |
| |sometimes, occasionally, seldomly, perhaps, |It is possible that... |
| |maybe, uncertainly, minority |Occasionally,... |
| | |It may be the case that... |
Adapted from: Jordon, R. R. (1990) Academic Writing Course. Edinburgh: Nelson Study Skills in English and Learning Assistance Centre, University of Sydney (1992) Writing in an Academic Style.
Here are some examples of modality use in academic writing:
|It seems likely that a species leaf structural |Low modality - rather than 'it is the case', |
|characteristics influence their seasonal water-tissue |the author is less certain, 'it seems likely |
|relations because…… |it is the case'. |
|Technology assessment can be an effective tool to |More moderate expression of opinion than |
|analyse the effect of a technology on social and |saying 'is'. |
|environmental issues, yet in practise it can be used to| |
|formalise and legitimise previously decided outcomes. | |
|Legal aid, by providing representation and individual |Modality lowered through the use of 'has the |
|legal advice has the potential to mitigate some of the |potential to' rather than merely 'it |
|entrenched inequality in regards to access to justice. |mitigates’. |
|The large-scale treatment plant is the most desirable |The opinion expressed in this sentence is |
|option to provide for the processing and treatment of |strong, however, it is more moderate than |
|wastewater for a 20 000 person population. |saying '…is the only appropriate option…’ |
Ultimately, your opinion in academic writing must be based on the evidence you have collected. The level of modality used to express your opinion must match the level of certainty provided by your evidence. It might be appropriate to make a high modality claim because evidence, from multiple sources, backs up your opinion. Therefore, adjust the certainty or modality you use to present your argument according to the quality and amount of evidence supporting it.
Do not overclaim
Academic writing requires your claims to be specific and precise rather than general. Therefore, claims need to be qualified; that is, information on the conditions and situations to which the claim applies need to be explicitly stated.
Unqualified 'blanket statement':
Age can never be irrelevant.
Opinion is qualified:
|It appears likely that age is rarely an irrelevant factor in |The modality of the claim has also been |
|clinical pharmaceutical trials because this factor can impact|lowered. |
|on the dosage required. | |
| |Qualification limits the claim to a |
| |certain situation and provides a reason |
| |for the claim. |
| | |
The following statement involves a claim of 'greater than ...' yet the reader is not told what this claim is in comparison to. The claim must be qualified by defining 'greater than what'.
Unqualified statement:
Species that occur in xeric habitats generally produce leaves that have a greater thickness, specific mass, internal-to-external leaf area ratio, and stomatal density.
Opinion is qualified:
|Species that occur in xeric habitats generally produce leaves|The claim is qualified by defining the |
|that have a greater thickness, specific mass, |object that is being used as the |
|internal-to-external leaf area ratio, and stomatal density |standard of comparison. |
|compared to species in moist or shaded habitats. | |
| | |
In the following example, a qualification to the claim exists but it is much less explicit than in the previous examples:
|Many plant species have structures on their seeds that |These words imply a qualification to the|
|enhance their dispersal, an event that is considered to be |claim that proceeds it: 'given our |
|necessary for a plant species’ reproduction and subsequent |current understanding, the research |
|survival. |suggests this is necessary'. |
Qualifications allow you to match your claims to your evidence
|Claim |The type of evidence required to make this |
| |claim. |
|The costs for the on site treatment of wastewater are low.|There is ample financial evidence to |
| |support this claim. |
|The costs for the on site treatment of wastewater are |The available financial evidence limits the|
|relatively low in comparison to localised or large-scale |claim only to this comparative situation. |
|treatment options. | |
|The costs for the on site treatment of wastewater are |The available financial data specifies |
|relatively low in comparison to localised or large-scale |location as a limiting factor on the claim |
|treatment options in rural NSW. |that can be made. |
|The initial start up costs for the on site treatment of |The available financial evidence limits the|
|wastewater are relatively low in comparison to localised |claim only to start up costs and not all |
|or large-scale treatment options in rural NSW. |costs. |
|Claim |The type of evidence required to make this |
| |claim. |
|Contingency fee arrangements encompass an important |Extensive evidence exists from many |
|attribute of access to justice for the community. |representative community bodies as well as |
| |many areas of law. |
|Contingency fee arrangements encompass an important |Evidence exists supporting this claim from |
|attribute of access to justice for the lower |certain sections of the community only, but |
|socioeconomic and disadvantaged sections of the |it covers many areas of law. |
|community. | |
|In terms of money or property claims contingency fee |Evidence exists only from certain areas of |
|arrangements encompass an important attribute of access|law to support this claim but from many areas|
|to justice for the community. |in the community. |
Integrating evidence into your own writing
When integrating the evidence you've gathered into your essay, you must first look at your essay plan to decide where evidence needs to be placed in relation to the points you’re making. Then you need to look at the particular paragraph in which a piece of evidence belongs to decide how it can be integrated, remembering that its role will be to support or expand on a point you've already made in your own words within that paragraph. In the paragraph below, you'll notice that evidence has been paraphrased or directly quoted and placed in a position that allows it to extend the point the writer is making in the topic sentence.
|One phenomenon that can impact greatly on the effectiveness |topic sentence |
|of groups is that as group sizes increase there is a tendency| |
|for the effort put in by the group to be less than the | |
|average effort put in by individuals engaged on the same task| |
|separately (Gabrenya, Latane & Wang 1981; Albanese & Van | |
|Fleet 1985). The phenomenon has been described using various | |
|terms. Writers influenced by industrial economics describe it| |
|as the 'free-rider problem', where the collective nature of | |
|the 'contract' obscures the fact of one member failing to |expansion |
|honour their part of the contract (Albanese & Van Fleet 1985,| |
|p230). Writers who are organisational psychologists tend to | |
|label the phenomenon as 'social loafing' and typically define|integration of paraphrased material |
|it as "one where everyone puts in a little less" (Gabrenya, | |
|Latane & Wang 1981, p120). Whatever the terminology used to | |
|describe this phenomenon, it is one that is problematic for | |
|groups. |integration of paraphrased and quoted |
| |material |
| | |
| | |
| | |
| |summarising & transition to next |
| |paragraph |
Expressing your voice in academic writing
It is important that your 'academic voice' is present in your writing. Look at the formal version of the model text below. The writer's academic voice or argument is evident in the way the student introduces and interprets the evidence that supports his/her point. The paraphrased material does not dominate the paragraph, but rather is secondary to and supports the student's argument.
|Formal Text |Annotations |
|The inequity in the distribution of wealth in |This is the topic sentence: a statement of the |
|Australia is yet another indicator of Australia’s |writer's intended argument in this text. |
|lack of egalitarianism. In 1995, 20% of the | |
|Australian population owned 72.2% of Australia's |Supporting evidence is provided to validate the |
|wealth with the top 50% owning 92.1% (Raskall |previous claim/ opinion. |
|1998, p287). Such a significant skew in the | |
|distribution of wealth indicates that, at least in|The writer's voice makes the significance of this |
|terms of economics, there is an established class |evidence obvious by linking it to the issue of |
|system in Australia. McGregor (1988) argues that |"class". |
|Australian society can be categorised into three | |
|levels: the Upper, Middle and Working classes. In |This evidence is used to support and elaborate on |
|addition, it has been shown that most Australians |the previous claim. Paraphrased material is |
|continue to remain in the class into which they |integrated into the paragraph as supporting |
|were born (McGregor 1988, p156) despite arguments |evidence for the writer's argument. |
|about the ease of social mobility in Australian | |
|society (Fitzpatrick, 1994). The issue of class |The writer's comment indicates wider reading and |
|and its inherent inequity, however, is further |an understanding of contradictory argument. |
|compounded by factors such as race and gender | |
|within and across these class divisions. |Again, the writer’s academic voice is clear. Here |
| |the writer is creating links with the following |
|The relative disadvantage of women with regard to |paragraph, which contains the next aspect of the |
|their earnings and levels of asset ownership |argument. |
|indicates that within classes there is further | |
|economic inequity based on gender... |New topic sentence linked to last sentence of |
| |previous paragraph; impersonal academic voice |
| |being used to express the writer’s argument/ |
| |educated opinion. |
When a student over-uses secondary sources in a paragraph it may simply read as a string of quotations, devoid of the student's academic voice that 'ties' the ideas together into a coherent argument. In the following text, notice how difficult it is to identify the writer's voice; thus, there is a lack of argumentation and cohesion in the paragraph. The paragraph below reads more like a description of what other people have said: the ideas are not linked or commented upon to tell the reader why this information is relevant, and there is no indication of how each idea relates to the others.
Gabrenya, Latane & Wang (1981) and Albanese & Van Fleet (1985) note that as group sizes increase there is a tendency for the effort put in by the group to be less than the average effort put in by individuals engaged on the same task separately. Albanese & Van Fleet (1985) report on the 'free-rider problem', where the collective nature of the 'contract' obscures the fact of one member failing to honour their part of the contract. Gabrenya, Latane & Wang (1981, p180) discuss the phenomenon of 'social loafing' and typically define it as "one where everyone puts in a little less".
When incorporating the ideas and/or words of others into your writing, you must incorporate those ideas and words into your argument. Beware of simply describing others words or ideas without interpretation and an indication of why they are significant to YOUR argument.
The presentation of evidence in the previous example paragraph can be improved. Below, you are provided with the original paragraph, as shown above, and a revised version. The colour coding makes it clear that although the paragraphs share a high degree of content material, the paragraph on the right shows evidence of the student’s voice or opinion. In addition, this paragraph presents the content material in a smoother, more cohesive way since it focuses on the ideas the concepts and the relationship between them rather than upon the authors.
|Original Paragraph - Poorly integrated evidence |Revised Paragraph - Well integrated evidence |
|Gabrenya, Latane & Wang (1981) and Albanese & Van Fleet|One phenomenon that can impact greatly on the |
|(1985) note that as group sizes increase there is a |effectiveness of groups is that as group sizes increase|
|tendency for the effort put in by the group to be less |there is a tendency for the effort put in by the group |
|than the average effort put in by individuals engaged |to be less than the average effort put in by |
|on the same task separately. Albanese & Van Fleet |individuals engaged on the same task separately |
|(1985) report on the 'free-rider problem', where the |(Gabrenya, Latane & Wang 1981; Albanese & Van Fleet |
|collective nature of the 'contract' obscures the fact |1985). The phenomenon has been described using various |
|of one member failing to honour their part of the |terms. Writers influenced by industrial economics |
|contract. Gabrenya, Latane & Wang (1981, p180) discuss |describe it as the 'free-rider problem', where the |
|the phenomenon of 'social loafing' and typically define|collective nature of the 'contract' obscures the fact |
|it as "one where everyone puts in a little less". |of one member failing to honour their part of the |
| |contract (Albanese & Van Fleet 1985, p230). Writers who|
| |are organisational psychologists tend to label the |
| |phenomenon as 'social loafing' and typically define it |
| |as "one where everyone puts in a little less" |
| |(Gabrenya, Latane & Wang 1981, p120). Whatever the |
| |terminology used to describe this phenomenon, it is one|
| |that is problematic for groups. |
Another example of evidence integration:
|Poorly integrated evidence |Annotations |
|There are a variety of reasons for conflict in |The information has been presented as one long quote. |
|organisational units. "The major sources of | |
|organisational conflict include: the need to share | |
|scarce resources; differences in goals between | |
|organisational units; the interdependence of work | |
|activities in organisational units; and differences in | |
|values or perceptions among organisational units" | |
|(Stoner and Wankel 1986, p383-385). | |
|Well integrated evidence |Annotations |
|Organisations develop structures, or teams, which use |Introduction and orientation to the topic |
|allocated resources to reach a goal. Often, however, | |
|the pathway to these goals can produce conflict. |The quote is presented instead in the writer's own |
|According to Stoner and Wankel (1986, p383-385), the |words, as a paraphrase. |
|occurrence of conflict in organisation units arises | |
|from sharing limited resources, differences in the | |
|objectives of organisational units, the interdependence| |
|of work activities as well as variations in individual | |
|styles and organisational ambiguities. Clearly, these |Clearly, these individual sources of conflict need to |
|individual sources of conflict need to be identified |be identified before potential solutions can be |
|before potential solutions can be formulated. |formulated. |
The Model Texts
Including referenced evidence increases the formality of a text. The two texts provided below illustrate this. The informal text does not include any references to support the argument being presented; however, the formal text contains several examples. In each case, the referenced evidence supports and adds authority to the writer's expressed opinion.
|FORMAL TEXT |INFORMAL TEXT |
|The inequity in the distribution of wealth in |Because only a few people have most of the |
|Australia is yet another indicator of |money and power in Australia, I conclude that |
|Australia's lack of egalitarianism. In 1995, |it is not an equal society. Society has an |
|20% of the Australian population owned 72.2% of|Upper, Middle and Lower class and I think that |
|Australia's wealth with the top 50% owning |most people when they are born into one class, |
|92.1% (Raskall 1998, p287). Such a significant |end up staying in that class for their whole |
|skew in the distribution of wealth indicates |lives. When all three classes are looked at |
|that, at least in terms of economics, there is |more closely, other things such as the |
|an established class system in Australia. |differences between the sexes and people's |
|McGregor (1988) argues that Australian society |racial backgrounds also add to the unequal |
|can be categorised into three levels: the |nature of Australian society. |
|Upper, Middle and Working classes. In addition,| |
|it has been shown that most Australians |Women earn less than men and own less than men.|
|continue to remain in the class into which they|Why is this so? |
|were born (McGregor 1988, p156) despite | |
|arguments about the ease of social mobility in | |
|Australian society (Fitzpatrick, 1994). The | |
|issue of class and its inherent inequity, | |
|however, is further compounded by factors such | |
|as race and gender within and across these | |
|class divisions. | |
| | |
|The relative disadvantage of women with regard | |
|to their earnings and levels of asset ownership| |
|indicates that within classes there is further | |
|economic inequity based on gender... | |
The Harvard or Author-Date or System of Referencing
The Harvard System of referencing incorporates information on:
[pic]the author of the material cited,
[pic]the date of publication
[pic]and where necessary, the page number(s).
This information is placed in a bracket within the sentence of the idea you are discussing. This information allows the reader to look up the full bibliographic information from the attached reference list.
Harvard style references can be given in three ways:
The rationale of the free market is essentially opposed to the collective nature of unionism in the labour market (Ewer, Smith and Keane, 1991, p1).
Notice the reference comes before the punctuation ending the sentence, in this case, a full stop.
OR
Ewer, Smith and Keane state that the rationale of the free market is essentially opposed to the collective nature of unionism in the labour market (1991, p1).
OR
Ewer, Smith and Keane (1991, p1) state that the rationale of the free market is essentially opposed to the collective nature of unionism in the labour market.
The way you decide to refer will depend upon factors such as the authority of the source and whether you wish to focus on the idea rather than the author.
When to include page numbers?
No Page Numbers: When you wish to use an author's central idea or argument, for example, you must cite the author's name and the year of publication, but you may leave out page numbers as the original text will have referred to that central idea many times within the text. This will be the case where you summarise the central argument of an entire article.
Page Numbers: When you refer to just one idea of many in a publication, however, you must include page numbers. This allows your reader in follow-up reading to find what might be a quite small piece of information inside what could be a large article or book. This is often the case with direct quotations or paraphrased sentences/ paragraphs/ sub-sections of an article.
Look at the paragraph below to see how a writer has referenced source material of different kinds.
|The work of van Lawick-Goodall (1971), Kortlandt and van Zon |Name and year only (refers to main idea |
|(1968), and Wright (1972) shows that present-day chimpanzees,|of the source). |
|orangutans and macaque monkeys are capable of using simple | |
|tools and bipedal locomotion. Wright (1972, p305) concluded | |
|after tool using experiments with a captive orang-utan, that |Page number included as the text refers |
|manipulative disability is not a factor which would have |to only one idea from the source. |
|prevented Australopithecines from mastering the fundamentals | |
|of tool technology. However, while there is an unquestionable| |
|validity in comparing the behaviour of present-day apes with | |
|early hominids, it is important to note that, as Howells | |
|(1973, p53) says, "a Pantroglodyte is not and cannot be the | |
|ancestor of man. He cannot be an ancestor of anything but | |
|future chimpanzees". However, the modern chimpanzee shows a | |
|type of intelligence closer to that of man than is found in | |
|any other present-day mammal. van Lawick-Goodall argues that:| |
| |Direct quote, so a page number MUST be |
|... the chimpanzee is, nevertheless, a creature of immense |included. |
|significance to the understanding of man ... He has the | |
|ability to solve quite complex problems, he can use and make | |
|tools for a variety of purposes (1971, p244-245). | |
| | |
| | |
| | |
| | |
| |A quote longer than three lines is |
| |indented (quotation marks are not |
| |included but the page number is). |
Harvard System: Other conventions in referencing
While the examples above highlight the main ways of referencing, issues such as the number of authors or repeated references to the same author complicate the conventions of referencing. Some of these are explained below.
You may see variations on how the information in brackets is presented.
For example, 'p.' or 'pp.' may be used to represent the page number/s.
Owners of a firm are regarded as external parties (Martin 1988, p.7).
Matthews claims that environmental accounting provides the only realistic methods of cost/benefit analysis (1989, pp. 87-88).
An alternative method is to place a colon ':' after the publication but before the page number/s.
Owners of a firm are regarded as external parties (Martin 1988:7).
Matthews claims that environmental accounting provides the only realistic methods of cost/benefit analysis (1989:87-88).
Multiple authors
If you want to cite two or more references on the same point, you should put them all within the same set of brackets, but separate them with a semi-colon.
This pattern is evident in many businesses in Indonesia (Wilder et al. 1990, p23; Burnett and Tan 1995, p87).
The references within the brackets can be listed either chronologically or alphabetically (just be consistent with the way you choose to do this throughout the whole piece of writing).
Using ampersands
Use an ampersand [&] to replace 'and' when listing two or more authors in brackets.
The high degree of entrenched inequality is evident in many layers of society (Hones & Smith 1991; Hones, Smith & Carey 1992).
However, use 'and' when referring to two or more authors in the text.
Hones and Smith (1991) maintained that inequality is evident in many layers of society while Hones, Smith and Carey (1992) developed on this work looking in particular at gender inequality in society.
For works with more than three authors: using 'et al.'
After your initial reference to a work with three or more authors, you may just include the name of the first author followed by the abbreviation 'et al.', which is a Latin term meaning 'and others'.
First reference to work (full reference):
Ewer, Smith and Keane state that the rationale of the free market is essentially opposed to the collective nature of unionism in the labour market (1991, p1).
Second and subsequent references to the work (abbreviation et al. can be used):
Ewer et al. regard the social and collective action undertaken by unions as an attempt to tame free market forces (1991, p3).
For multiple works by the same author
When referring to an idea presented in more than one work by the same author, the year of publication for each relevant work is given in the in text reference. List them chronologically, ending with the most recent work.
Matthews (1989, 1991) claims that environmental accounting provides the only realistic methods of cost/benefit analysis.
Supporters of unionism regard social and collective action as essential softening the harsh forces of the free labour market (Collins 1989, p24; 1993, p65).
For works with the same author and year
When you are referring to two or more publications with the same author/s and year, these should be distinguished by attaching lower case alpabetical letters attached to the publication date. The order of the letters is established on the basis of a letter-by-letter alphabetical order of the title (disregarding any initial articles such as the or a); for example, the following references:
Larkin, J., McDermott, J., Simon, D. P, & Simon, H. A. (1980). Models of competence in solving physics problems. Cognitive Science, 11, 65-99.
Larkin, J., McDermott, J., Simon, D. P., & Simon, H. A. (1980). Expert and Novice Performance in solving physics problems. Science, 208, 1335-1342.
would be labelled in the reference list as:
Larkin, J., McDermott, J., Simon, D. P., & Simon, H. A. (1980a). Expert and Novice Performance in solving physics problems. Science, 208,1335-1342.
Larkin, J., McDermott, J., Simon, D. P, & Simon, H. A. (1980b). Models of competence in solving physics problems. Cognitive Science, 11,65-99.
and in the text as:
Verbal protocols were collected from participants formed the basis for the development of several computer programs which mimicked the strategies experts and novices used to solve problems (Larkin, McDermott, Simon and Simon, 1980b). Larkin McDermott, Simon and Simon (1980a) claim that novices typically use a means end problem solving strategy. The management of goals and subgoals in this general problem solving heuristic places a considerable burden on limited working memory, in some way accounting for the longer period of time required by novices for problem completion (Larkin et al, 1980a; 1980b)
Authors with the same name
If there are two authors with the same surname, include the author's initials in all text citations and the reference list to avoid confusion.
A recent report (MacDuff, H.E. 1998) has indicated the average standard of living is falling in Australia but J.L. MacDuff (1999) has refuted the findings.
[Note the placement of the initials. When the reference is enclosed in brackets, they come after the surname but when the reference is included in the text, they come before the surname.]
For secondary citations
When referring to an author's idea which was presented in the work of another author, give the name of the original presenter of the idea, followed by 'cited in' and the author, date and page of the work in which it was quoted. A secondary citation looks and is less credible than a primary citation, but if access to the primary resource is not available you may need to use it. Include only the primary source in your reference list.
Trung (cited in Le 1976, p20) suggests that the implications of the action are more far reaching than was originally thought.
OR
It has been suggested that the implications of the action are more far reaching than was originally thought (Trung cited in Le, 1976, p20).
For works with no author given
When the name of the author is not given, the name of the article, the date and the page should be provided in the in-text reference.
This pattern is evident in many businesses in Indonesia (Far Eastern Economic Review 28/1/97, p12).
Use the name of the sponsoring organisation if there is no specific author's name on the title page.
Although improving, the status of women in many aspects of life is far lower than that of men (National Women's Advisory Council 1979, p3).
In this financial year, 8893 unemployed persons had participated in the Government’s compulsory ‘work for the dole’ scheme (DETYA 2000, p45).
[pic]For ideas communicated personally
When referring to an idea presented to you personally in a formal (eg. lecture) or informal (eg. conversation, email) context, use the abbreviation for 'personal communication' as in the example below. Personal communications are not listed in the references.
The rate of infant mortality in these countries appears to be falling (Bronska 1998, pers. comm.).
[pic]Unusual or non existent publication dates
No publication date:
Tomasi (n.d.) laments the state of the country's welfare services.
Unpublished work:
Tomasi (unpub.) laments the state of the country's welfare services.
Not yet in the process of being published:
Tomasi (forthcoming) laments the state of the country's welfare services.
Currently in the process of being published:
Tomasi (in press) laments the state of the country's welfare services.
Approximate publication date: use the abbreviation 'c' taken from circa which means about.
Nisbet (c. 1799) showed seed dispersal was a result of ants.
Doubtful publication date
Hawkins (? 1886) confirmed the sea navigation skills of the Melanesian sailors.
What to include in a reference
General rules:
[pic]all the elements (except the author's initials and the year) are separated by commas
[pic]the author's surname appears first followed by the author's initials, separated by a comma
[pic]authors initials are followed by a full stop but no spacing
[pic]the citation ends in a full stop
[pic]if a work has more than one author, their names should be separated by commas, except the final name, which is linked by an ampersand
Anderson, R.C., Reynolds, R.E., Schallert, D.L. & Goetz, E.T.
Anzai, Y. & Simon, H. A.
Expect to find variations in the format of a reference in areas such as:
[pic]the placing of commas
[pic]the placing of brackets around the year of publication
[pic]order the place of publication and the publisher's name occur
[pic]the use of abbreviations such as vol. or pp.
[pic]the use of a semi- colon to separate publisher and place of publication
[pic]capitalisation of titles
[pic]hanging indents.
These formatting conventions will differ between different disciplines and faculties.
Given these variations, it is important to find out information on referencing standards used by your department and faculty and not to ignore these sorts of details. Most importantly, aim for consistency and accuracy in your reference list.
Regardless of the minor differences in the format of references, the minimum information for each reference entry is:
Book
Martin, C. 1988, An Introduction to Accounting, 2nd edn., McGraw-Hill, Sydney.
Martin, C. 1988, An Introduction to Accounting, 2nd edn., McGraw-Hill, Sydney.
name of the author(s), followed by their initial/s.
year of publication
title of the book (in italics)
edition of the book if it is a reprint
publisher's name and place of publication.
Article in a book
Engen, T. Lipsitt, L.P. and Kaye, H. 1967. 'Olfaction in the Human Neonate', in Readings in the Psychology of childhood and Adolescence, ed W.J. Meyer, Blaisdell, Massachusetts, pp. 87-92.
Rollover the book reference to see the minimum information required.
Engen, T. Lipsitt, L.P. and Kaye, H. 1967. 'Olfaction in the Human Neonate' , in Readings in the psychology of childhood and adolescence, ed W.J. Meyer, Blaisdell, Massachusetts, pp. 87-92.
Name of the author(s), followed by their initial/s.
Year of publication
Title of the chapter (in single quotation marks)
Title of the Book (in italics)
ed. Or eds. Is the abbreviated form of Editor/s
Editor of the book. Notice the initials of the editor come before his or her family name
Publisher's name and Place of publication
Page numbers of the chapter
Journal article
Boer, G. 1984, 'Solutions in search of a problem: The case of budget variance investigation models', Journal of Accounting Literature, vol. 3, pp. 47-69.
Boer, G. 1984, 'Solutions in search of a problem: The case of budget variance investigation models', Journal of Accounting Literature, vol. 3, pp. 47-69.
the author's name
the year of publication
the title of the publication (in plain text enclosed within single quotation marks)
the title of the journal (in italics)
the volume number or month of publication
the page numbers of the article
NOTE: the issue number or an identifier such as month of publication is required if each issue of the journal is paginated separately rather than consecutively. If required, this information would be included after the volume number and separated from it by a comma.
Online (electronic) material
(for example: File Transfer Protocol (ftp),World Wide Web, disk, CD-ROM)
Savetz, K. M. & Seers, A. 1996 (updated 23 Feb 1996, cited 10 Oct 1996) 'FAO: How can I use the Internet as a telephone?' Kevin Savetz's Page of Stuff, .
Savetz, K. M. & Seers, A. 1996 (updated 23 Feb 1996, cited 10 Oct 1996) 'FAO: How can I use the Internet as a telephone?' Kevin Savetz's Page of Stuff,
Primary responsibility (for example, the author's surname and initials)
Date of publication
Date of last revision
Date of citation (date the material accessed)
Title of article
Title of complete work
Type of medium and location details (for example: WWW address or ftp)
Getty, Victoria M. 1996, (updated 1 Aug 1996, cited 14 Oct 1996) 'Planning for Pregnancy: The Importance of Multivitamins with Folic Acid', International Food and Nutrition Database, ftp, telnet, psupen.psu.edu,press 9.
Edited Work
Goodnow, J. & Pateman, C. (eds.) 1985, Women, Social Science and Public Policy, Allen & Unwin, Sydney.
A sponsored work with no author's name
National Women's Advisory Council 1979, Migrant Women Speak: A Report to the Commonwealth Government, Australian Government Publishing Service, Canberra.
A sponsored work with an author's name
National Women's Advisory Council 1979, Migrant Women Speak: A Report to the Commonwealth Government, by E.J. Harper, Australian Government Publishing Service, Canberra.
Work other than a first edition
Bailey, R.F. 1990, A Survival Kit for Writing English, 2nd edn, Sydney: Longman.
Translated, revised or compiled work
Galileo 1960, On Motion and On Mechanics, translated by S. Drake. Madison: University of Wisconsin Press.
Wesson, G. (comp.) 1975, Brian's Wife, Jenny's Mum, East Malvern, Victoria: Dove Communications Pty Ltd.
A reprinted classic
Darwin, C. 1968 (1859), The origin of Species by Means of Natural Selection, Penguin, Harmondsworth.
[Place the original publication date in parentheses after the publication date of the reprint.]
Work with no publication date
Anderson, K. n.d., Outback Tucker in Australia, Melbourne: Bushwhackers Press,.
Work with a dubious publication date
Hawkins, H. ?1987, 'The Rights of Small Business', Economic Bulletin, Canberra.
Work is in the process of publication but the date of publication is uncertain
Rolf, L.H. , in press, 'A Revised View of the War of the Roses', Historical Review.
An anonymous work
The Far Eastern Economic Review , 1997, 23/2/97, pp.8-12.
An pseudonymous work
Sand, George (pseud. Of A. L. O. Dupin) 1856, The story of my life (in French), 20 vols, Paris, Lecou & Cadot.
A thesis
As the thesis is unpublished the title is either italicised or placed in quotation marks. Include the institution.
Gorman, J. 1976, The effects of increased urbanisation on the owl population on the New South Wales central coast, PhD thesis, University of Wollongong.
Paper presented at a conference, seminar or meeting
As the paper is unpublished, the title is italicised or placed in quotation marks. Capitalise only the first word and any other words that would normally have capitals.
Williams, R.R. & Taji, A.M. 1990, Factors affecting vitrification - cytokinin and shoot growth, paper presented to the International Congress on Plant Cell and Organ Culture, Amsterdam, June.
Paper presented at a conference, seminar or meeting and subsequently published
Ballcock, C.V. & Goodrick, D. 1984, 'Women's participation in the development process', Proceedings of the Women's Studies Section, ANZAAS Congress, May 1983, Murdoch University, Murdoch, WA.
Encyclopedia
Mark, Herman F. 1974, "Polymers." Encyclopedia Britannica: Macropaedia..
Newspaper
Greenwood, Ross. 1996. 'Plain English returns to fund land'. The Age. 1995, p.3.
Newspaper (no author given)
'Hard times for Farmers'. 1997. Silver Creek Herald. 21/12/1997, p. 4.
Newspaper (editorial)
"Bodily Intrusions." Editorial. New York Times 29 August 1990: A20
Publication from an organisation eg. government publication
Department of Employment, Education and Training. 1996. Report on Review of Computer Studies and Information Sciences. 6/5/96. 5. Canberra: Australian Government Publishing Service.
Parliamentary publication
House of Representatives Standing Committee on Legal & Constitutional Affairs 1992, Half Way to Equal: Report of the Inquiry into Equal Opportunity and Equal Status for Women in Australia, Australian Government Publishing Service, Canberra, April.
Film / Videotape
Allen, Woody, dir. Manhattan. With Allen, Diane Keaton, Michael Murphy, Meryl Streep, and Anne Byrne. United Artists, 1979.
Australia's Geological History (video recording) 1986, Sydney, Outback Films.
The Future of the Australian Communist Party (video recording) 19 October 1983, ABC Television.
The Notation System: Footnotes and Endnotes
In the notation system of referencing, a number is placed in superscript within the text, and the full reference (including all bibliographic details) is placed either at the bottom of the page (footnotes), or at the end of the piece of work (endnotes).
A full reference list should also be provided at the end of the assignment. Not all style guides will advise you to do this as it is very repetitive; however, it is much easier for an interested reader to look through an alphabetical list of references, rather than flip through the pages of your assignment trying to locate sources of different information.
In summary, the first footnote or an endnote reference to a source should contain all the bibliographic information necessary to identify it. These details should then be followed by the page number or numbers of the quotation or specific reference.
The second and subsequent references to a particular source may be abbreviated in two ways: by abbreviating the information of the first citation or by using Latin abbreviations such as ibid and op.cit..
Abbreviated information:
1. Y. Anzai and H. A. Simon. The theory of learning by doing. Psychological Review, 86, 124-180, 1979, p. 126
2. Anzai & Simon, p. 178
If two works of the author are referred to, however, more information will be required; for example,
1. A. Baddeley, Human Memory: Theory and Practice, Allyn and Bacon, Boston,1990.
2. A. Baddeley, ‘Working memory’, Science , vol. 255, pp.556-559, 1992.
3. Baddeley, Human Memory, p. 345.
Latin abbreviations:
ibid is the abbreviation of ibidem and means 'in the same place'. You use ibid for a reference entry when the citation is the same as the previous footnote or endnote. If the page number is different, you include the page number of the new entry after ibid. ibid saves you writing out the full reference again; for example,
1. Y. Anzai and H. A. Simon. The theory of learning by doing. Psychological Review, 86, 124-180, 1979, p. 126
2. ibid.
3. ibid., p.157.
op.cit. is an abbreviation of opere citato that means 'in the work cited'. op.cit. is used together with the author’s name and page number when the full reference has already been cited.
1. Y. Anzai and H. A. Simon. The theory of learning by doing. Psychological Review, 86, 124-180, 1979, p. 126
2. J. R. Anderson. Cognitive psychology and its implications, 2nd edn, Freeman, New York, 1985, p. 234
3. Anzai and Simon, op. cit., p. 157
4. Anderson, op. cit., p. 36
ibid. and op. cit. and any other abbreviations should be presented in normal type and always start with a lower case letter, even when they appear at the beginning of a note.
Numbering of notes
Usually notes are indicated by superior figures (small numbers placed above the line of type). They can also be indicated, however, by a set order of symbols: asterisk, dagger, double dagger, section mark, parallel marks and paragraph mark. The use of symbols is usually restricted to mathematical works where superior figures may be confused with indices or in the rare case where both footnotes and endnotes appear.
Footnote numbering can run:
• through a whole document
• begin afresh at each chapter
• begin afresh at each page.
Endnote numbering can run:
• through a whole document
• begin afresh at each chapter
Footnotes or endnotes should be placed at the end of a sentence or clause rather than immediately after the word or phrase to which they relate (this reduces disruption to the reader). If several points in a paragraph relate to one source a single note at the end of the paragraph will suffice. If a single fact in the text refers to several sources, include all of the sources in a single note.
1 Reference: Australian Government Publishing Service, 1995, Style Manual: For Authors, Editors and Printers, 5th edn., Canberra: Australian Government Publishing Service.
An example of footnote referencing
Camperdown Cemetery in Newtown, Sydney is considered one of Australia's most historically significant cemeteries2. The cemetery contains the remains of many influential people who played an important role in the early history of Sydney and Australia; the land was already associated with famous Australians before it became a cemetery3. A total of 12 acres, 3 roods of land were donated by the estate of Sir Maurice Charles O'Connell, a Lieutenant Governor of New South Wales, on September 23, 18484. The land, a portion of Camperdown Estate, was originally part of the 240-acre land grant of William Bligh, former Governor of the colony of New South Wales5. The cemetery served as one of Sydney's principal burial grounds from its opening, in 1849, until 18676.
After the land was bequeathed a trust company was formed: the Sydney Church of England Cemetery Company. Two hundred shares were offered at £10 each and the area was consecrated on January 16, 18497. It is of historical interest that the first interment was that of Sir Maurice Charles O'Connell, the man whose estate donated the land for the cemetery. Sir Maurice O'Connell was buried in the Town Hall Cemetery after his death on May 25, 1848. After the consecration of the cemetery his remains were exhumed and re-interred in the new Camperdown Cemetery8.
Note: In a longer piece of writing the difference between footnotes and endnotes would be more obvious than it appears here. The footnotes referring to each page would reside at the bottom of that page while endnotes for every reference in the whole piece of writing would reside at the completion point of that text.
1 Flello, J. (unpub.) A Survey of Camperdown Cemetery.
2 C. Lucas. State Heritage, State Heritage Inventory - Item View, (updated 10 December, 1999, accessed 10 May, 1999).
3 P.W. Gledhill, Camperdown Churchyard, Church Street Newtown: An Appeal for the Restoration and Upkeep of the Historic Cemetery, Newtown, 1927, p.1.
4 ibid.
5 M. King, Prominent Australians and Importance of Camperdown Cemetery, Newtown, 1934, p.8.
6 ibid., p. 4.
7 Gledhill, op. cit., p. 1.
8 King, op. cit., p. 20.
When to use capitals in a reference?
Capitalisation of book titles.
There are two systems for capitalising book titles: maximal capitalisation and minimal capitalisation. Either system can be used for book titles, however, it is important that the same system be used throughout a text.
Maximal Capitalisation
The first letters of all the words in a title are capitalised except articles (unless these articles are the first word of a title) such as the, a, in, of. Subtitles (after a colon) are similarly treated.
Instructional Design in Technical Areas
Remembering: A Study in Experimental and Social Psychology
A History of Spanish Literature
Minimal Capitalisation
Apart from the first letter of the first word, no words in the title are capitalised unless those words would normally bare a capital. Only the first letter of the first word in a sub title is capitalised.
Instructional design in technical areas
Remembering: A study in experimental and social psychology
A history of Spanish literature
Capitalisation of article titles & chapter titles.
The titles and subtitles of articles in journals or chapter titles from books are given minimal capitalisation and are enclosed in single quotation marks.
'The theory of learning by doing'
'The magical number seven: Still magic after all these years'
Capitalisation of journal titles & periodical titles.
The titles and subtitles of articles in journals or chapter titles from books are given maximal capitalisation (apart from any proceeding articles such as the or a).
Journal of Educational Psychology
the New Scientist
the Financial Review
SUMMARY
Many factors are involved in creating a piece of academic writing. The degree to which academic words, academic structures and academic conventions are used will strongly influence the academic tone achieved in a text.
Academic writing is often described as dense, complex and abstract writing. The use of academic words, such as formal, technical and impersonal language as well as the use of academic structures such as nominalisation, extended nominal groups and the passive voice help to create this style of writing.
Academic writing is used to express arguments and opinions. Academic conventions govern how this achieved: opinion is presented in an objective and impersonal style and must be supported by reputable evidence that is integrated expertly into the structure of your overall argument. Moreover, this supporting evidence must be properly referenced.
It is important to realise that it is the interplay between the words, structures and conventions of academic writing, rather than the use of any one element, that will allow you to develop an effective piece of academic writing.
In this final exercise, you are going to use all of the devices of academic writing that you have learnt about to rework a piece of text in order to increase its academic tone.
Stage 1
Read the following paragraphs. The paragraphs contain a number of instances of PERSONAL LANGUAGE that are inappropriate for an academic text. Eliminate the personal language in this text.
My professor told us that Brown and Raymond's article is good because of how it has been put together. It is organised into numerous separate sections, which turn a long article into a series of small, easily readable sections. These mean the person reading can browse through the piece of writing and quickly find important pieces of information. In my experience these pieces of information are also easily found because the start of the piece of writing gives a brief yet highly detailed outline of what's in it.
I think the article is also good because it uses lots of evidence such as references and statistical data to back up what the authors say and you should always try to do that. In contrast to these strengths, however, the article has a few bad points. There is bit of a problem since the authors have used a number of references that are pretty old in comparison to the publication date of their article. A bigger issue, however, is the authors' obvious bias against hospitalisation as a treatment alternative.
Stage 2
Although the personal language has now been eliminated from the passage, the tone is still very informal. One of the factors responsible for this is the unsophisticated WORDS the writer has used to express their argument.
Increase the academic tone of this text by replacing the informal language with more formal alternatives. There may be several correct alternatives.
Principio del formulario
|Original Text |
|Brown and Raymond's article is good because of how it has been put together. It is organised into numerous|
|separate sections, which turn a long article into a series of small, easily readable sections. These mean |
|the person reading can browse through the piece of writing and quickly find important pieces of |
|information. These pieces of information are also easily found because the start of the piece of writing |
|gives a brief yet highly detailed outline of what's in it. |
| |
|The article is also good because it uses lots of evidence such as references and statistical data to back |
|up what the authors say. In contrast to these strengths, however, the article has a few bad points. There |
|is bit of a problem because the authors have used a number of references that are pretty old in comparison|
|to the publication date of their article. A bigger issue, however, is the authors' obvious bias against |
|hospitalisation as a treatment alternative. |
The choice of more formal language has made an enormous impact on the academic tone of the text. Compare the original text to the revised version. (Sometimes several of the alternatives offered in the previous exercise were correct so the revised text below may not be exactly the same as your answer).
|Revised Version |
|One of the strengths of Brown and Raymond's article is its organisation and layout. It is organised into |
|numerous separate sections, which transform a reasonably lengthy article into a series of small, easily |
|readable sections. These enable the reader to browse through the article and quickly find important pieces |
|of information. These pieces of information are also easily located because the article's introductory |
|paragraph gives a brief yet highly detailed outline of the content. |
| |
|Another of its strengths is the extensive use of evidence such as references and statistical data to give |
|validity to the authors' claims. In contrast to these strengths, however, the article contains several |
|weaknesses. One minor weakness is that the authors have used a number of references that are outdated in |
|comparison to the publication date of their article. Of greater concern, however, is the authors' obvious |
|bias against hospitalisation as a treatment alternative. |
Stage 3
The academic tone of the text has been improved by the elimination of personal language and the use of more formal vocabulary. Compare the original version of the passage to the revised version. While the use of more sophisticated words has certainly resulted in increased formality, the inclusion of academic writing STRUCTURES such as nominalisations have also had an impact.
|ORIGINAL PASSAGE |The revised passage | |
|Brown and Raymond's article is good |One of the strengths of Brown and | |
|because of how it has been put |Raymond's article is its organisation | |
|together. It is organised..... |and layout. It is organised..... | |
| | |Nominalisations have helped to |
| | |increase the academic tone of the |
| | |passage.. |
|The article is also good because it |Another of its strengths is the | |
|uses lots of evidence such as |extensive use of evidence such as | |
|references and statistical data..... |references and statistical data..... | |
Further opportunities exist in the passage to create nominalisations. Replace the highlighted sentence in each paragraph by selecting an alternative from the options provided that has achieved a more academic tone through the use of nominalisation.
One of the strengths of Brown and Raymond's article is its organisation and layout. It is organised into numerous separate sections, which transform a reasonably lengthy article into a series of small, easily readable sections. These enable the reader to browse through the article and quickly find important pieces of information. These pieces of information are also easily located because the article's introductory paragraph gives a brief yet highly detailed outline of the content.
Principio del formulario
[pic]The numerous separate sections are organised in a way that the reasonably lengthy article is transformed into a series of small, easily readable sections.
[pic]The organisation of the article into numerous separate sections transforms a reasonably lengthy article into a series of small, easily readable sections.
[pic]The transformation of a reasonably lengthy article into a series of small, easily readable sections has occurred because of how it is organised into numerous separate sections.
Feedback: Stage3
Nominalisations help to create the abstract tone of academic writing as the text is focused on objects or concepts rather than actions. The nominalisations included in this passage have become the head nouns of their respective extended nominal groups (each nominal group has been highlighted in colour; the head nouns have been bolded). Extended nominal groups are also a significant structure of academic writing.
One of the strengths of Brown and Raymond's article is its organisation and layout. The organisation of the article into numerous separate sections transforms a reasonably lengthy article into a series of small, easily readable sections. These enable the reader to browse through the article and quickly find important pieces of information. These pieces of information are also easily located because the article's introductory paragraph gives a brief yet highly detailed outline of the content.
Stage 4
The academic tone of the text has been improved by using the words and structures of academic writing. A key requirement of academic writing, however, is the convention of USING EVIDENCE to support the writer's argument. As you can see below, the first paragraph of the text has provided evidence to support the claims made (the claims have been bolded and the supporting evidence has been colour coded to match).
One of the strengths of Brown and Raymond's article is its organisation and layout. The organisation of the article into numerous separate sections transforms a reasonably lengthy article into a series of small, easily readable sections. These enable the reader to browse through the article and quickly find important pieces of information. These pieces of information are also easily located because the article's introductory paragraph gives a brief yet highly detailed outline of the content.
The second paragraph of this text, however, lacks evidence to support the author's claims. Select evidentiary statements from the selection available and drag them to their appropriate location. There are more options provided than you will need to properly support the arguments presented in this paragraph.
Stage 5
The passage now includes the words, structures and conventions of academic writing. However, the passage is missing REFERENCES to the sources of the evidence. In academic writing, using the words or ideas of others is not acceptable unless you reference those ideas. In the following exercise you will need to follow the academic writing convention of referencing. You can do this by either using the Harvard or the Notation system of referencing.
Exercise: Choosing relevant and specific words
Harvard Version
The complete bibliographic reference for each of in text references required is provided below. In each of the spaces provided within the text, type out the appropriate information to create a Harvard style reference. Remember to check your spelling and formatting before you submit your answer as this elements are important in referencing.
Reference one:
Brown, W.P. & Raymond, X. 1998, 'Patients and their involvement in decisions about care'. Journal of Nursing, vol. 33, pp. 53 - 71.
Reference two:
Brown, W.P. & Raymond, X. 1998, 'Patients and their involvement in decisions about care'. . Journal of Nursing, vol. 33, pp. 53 - 71. The part of the article that dealt with client involvement occurred upon pages 66-67.
Reference three:
Foley, R.S. 1997, 'Client management strategies' in Nursing and Client Management, eds G. Nicolsan & K.R. Ritch, Juniper Publications, London, pp. 705-763. The part of the article that dealt with client submissiveness occurred upon page 732.
Principio del formulario
One of the strengths of Brown and Raymond's article______________________ is its organisation and layout. The organisation of the article into numerous separate sections transforms a reasonably lengthy article into a series of small, easily readable sections. These enable the reader to browse through the article and quickly find important pieces of information. These pieces of information are also easily located because the article's introductory paragraph gives a brief yet highly detailed outline of the content.
Another of its strengths is the extensive use of evidence such as references and statistical data to give validity to the authors' claims. An example of their evidence use through referencing is the authors' use of numerous examples and references to justify their claim that current nursing literature emphasises client involvement ___________________. An example of evidencing through the inclusion of statistical data is their rebuttal to previous claims by researchers such as Foley that clients are submissive _______________________. The authors validate their position through the inclusion of statistical data from their own study. The large size of their sample population adds to the validity of these results. In contrast to these strengths, however, the article contains several weaknesses. One minor weakness is the authors' use of a number of references that are outdated in comparison to the publication date of their article. Of greater concern, however, is the authors' obvious bias against hospitalisation as a treatment alternative indicated by the inclusion of such emotive terms as "personal crisis", "distressed" and "separation from society" to describe the experience of patients who had undergone this treatment.
Feedback for Stage 6 - Harvard
One of the strengths of Brown and Raymond's article (1998) is its organisation and layout....
Another of its strengths.... to justify their claim that current nursing literature emphasises client involvement (Brown & Raymond, 1998, pp. 66-67). An example of evidencing through the inclusion of statistical data is their rebuttal to previous claims by researchers such as Foley that clients are submissive (1997, p. 732)....
STAGE 7
Feedback Screen for Academic Writing Summary Final Exercise
Compare the original text to the revised version of the text that you have created. By using the WORDS, STRUCTURES & CONVENTIONS of academic writing, this text has become much more formal and academically oriented.
|Original Text |Revised Text |
|My professor told us that Brown and |One of the strengths of Brown and Raymond's article (1998) is |
|Raymond's article is good because of how |its organisation and layout. The organisation of the article |
|it has been put together. It is organised |into numerous separate sections transforms a reasonably lengthy|
|into numerous separate sections, which |article into a series of small, easily readable sections. These|
|turn a long article into a series of |enable the reader to browse through the article and quickly |
|small, easily readable sections. These |find important pieces of information. These pieces of |
|mean the person reading can browse through|information are also easily located because the article's |
|the piece of writing and quickly find |introductory paragraph gives a brief yet highly detailed |
|important pieces of information. In my |outline of the content. |
|experience these pieces of information are| |
|also easily found because the start of the|Another of its strengths is the extensive use of evidence such |
|piece of writing gives a brief yet highly |as references and statistical data to give validity to the |
|detailed outline of what's in it. |authors' claims. An example of their evidence use through |
| |referencing is the authors' use of numerous examples and |
|I think the article is also good because |references to justify their claim that current nursing |
|it uses lots of evidence such as |literature emphasises client involvement (Brown & Raymond, |
|references and statistical data to back up|1998, pp. 66-67). An example of evidencing through the |
|what the authors say and you should always|inclusion of statistical data is their rebuttal to previous |
|try to do that. In contrast to these |claims by researchers such as Foley that clients are submissive|
|strengths, however, the article has a few |(1997, p. 732). The authors validate their position through the|
|bad points. There is bit of a problem |inclusion of statistical data from their own study. The large |
|because the authors have used a number of |size of their sample population adds to the validity of these |
|references that are pretty old in |results. In contrast to these strengths, however, the article |
|comparison to the publication date of |contains several weaknesses. One minor weakness is the authors'|
|their article. A bigger issue, however, is|use of a number of references that are outdated in comparison |
|the authors' obvious bias against |to the publication date of their article. Of greater concern, |
|hospitalisation as a treatment |however, is the authors' obvious bias against hospitalisation |
|alternative.. |as a treatment alternative indicated by the inclusion of such |
| |emotive terms as "personal crisis", "distressed" and |
| |"separation from society" to describe the experience of |
| |patients who had undergone this treatment. |
| |Reference List |
| | |
| |Brown, W.P. & Raymond, X. 1998, 'Patients and their involvement|
| |in decisions about care', Journal of Nursing, Vol. 33, pp. 53 |
| |71. |
| |Foley, R.S. 1997, Nursing and Client Management, Juniper |
| |Publications, London.. |
Final del formulario
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