(See next page for commentary)
1/12/ 2009
Dear Mr. Teacher, One of the ideas for our freshman design project was to construct a "kicking"
mechanism to "punt" the mousetraps into the scoring zones. We think this will not cause the traps to trip, and therefore we can win the most points category. We will paint it some really cool colors and put lots of bells and whistles on it, so we hope to win that competition, too.
Our group (group A0) is working really well together, I think we should be able to have a really great project.
If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact any team member.
Sincerely,
I. Knotta Student
(See next page for commentary)
EDITORIAL COMMENTS: Needs a letterhead with an address
1/12/2009
(spelled out dates: January 12, 2009 or 12 January 2009)
CONTENT: There is no summary paragraph ? there should be a statement of purpose explaining what the letter is for and as well as a summary of its content (what information will be discussed).
There is no background information - without a background the reader is confused ? background educates the reader so they can understand the discussion (for this example the background should explain what the freshmen design competition is and provide relevant information about it).
REMEMBER: when writing a technical document, the reader is ignorant of the content in the document ? otherwise they wouldn't need to read it. When proof reading, try to make sure an "ignorant" person would understand what you are trying to communicate.
FORMAT: Generally, paragraphs in letters should not be indented rather have an extra space between paragraphs ? however, this format is acceptable as is.
One of the ideas for our freshman design project was to construct a "kicking" mechanism to "punt" the mousetraps into the scoring zones. We think this will not cause the traps to trip, and therefore we can win the most points category. We will paint it some really cool colors and put lots of bells and whistles on it, so we hope to win that competition, too.
We have met many times as a group (how many times?) and have completed the truss (what truss?). We will have it tested in a week (tested for what ? is it sick?). We hope it carries a lot of weight (why do you hope this ? how much is "a lot"?).
Our group is working really well together (I'm so happy for you), I think we should be able to have a really great project (Avoid unsubstantiated claims and vague terms such as "good" or "great". This sentence would be better written: Our group is making steady progress and we should have the project completed on time. "Completed on time" is definable, "great" is an ambiguous judgment.)
If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact any team member. (good courteous closing except it needs to have contact information here if not in the letterhead)
Sincerely, DO NOT FORGET TO SIGN IT!! Forgetting to sign indicates to the reader you don't care. I. Knotta Student
................
................
In order to avoid copyright disputes, this page is only a partial summary.
To fulfill the demand for quickly locating and searching documents.
It is intelligent file search solution for home and business.
Related download
- how to write a perfect paragraph
- assignment choose one of the badly written memos
- grade 8 writing additional tasks samples personal
- see next page for commentary
- seven types of paragraph development
- improving your documentation now more than ever your
- example of a bad body paragraph
- examples of poorly written essays changing lives
- sample memo bad to cynthia gilbert director of
- business letters memos
Related searches
- next states for recreational marijuana
- describe the perfect next job for you
- planning page for essay writing
- fwisd home page for students
- sample glossary page for kids
- when is the next update for minecraft
- cover page for a proposal
- glossary page for children
- test page for hp printer
- blank page for typing
- free blank page for typing
- admin page for office 365