Susan RoAne - Author How to Work A Room, Keynote Speaker



Nuances of Business Networking

By Susan RoAne

Chapter 1

The Premise and The Process

What Networking Is and Is Not

There are some so-called experts who treat the process of networking as a science. It is not a science. It is an art: the art of communication. There is no university where the science department offers Networking 101, unless it's the computer department. But that's a different type of networking.

Those who are the very best at networking don't think of their actions as networking. They're just being themselves – connecting – referring, supporting and staying in touch. Savvy networkers are beyond the need for tips, techniques and strategies because they embody the concept and its spirit.

Lucky for me, I have several people in my life who are blessed with this generosity of spirit and action. Dr. Ivan Misner, founder of BNI, is one of those people. My trainer, Sherwood Cummins, and friend, Sandy Hufford, are the two I call my "personal Yellow Pages." I ask them for recommendations from car to computer repair. Their endorsements are gold. They save me time because I do what they recommend! Why? I trust them. Trust is at the core of good networking. We trust people who are honest, have follow through and who do what they say they'll do when they say they'll do it.

Disclaimer: This e-book is about interpersonal networking; not “social” networking via apps, sites or texts.

By Definition

The term “networking” has gotten a bad rap from those who think it’s a way to use people. I hear it often from those who are uncomfortable with the process of socializing and interacting.

So, let's define what networking is. By definition, according to Sally Livingston, my "femtor" (she coined that phrase in 1982), "networking is a personal process that is reciprocal and mutually beneficial, in which people share ideas, leads, information/knowledge, and support in both their personal and professional lives." In business, it's the essence of collaboration, cooperation and alliance building – and it's the foundation of teamwork.

Networking is a way of life. It's not a business tactic – although there are those who think it is. We recognize them by their transparent words, behaviors and attitudes.

Tenet: Networking is a lifestyle that encompasses work, not a work style that encompasses life.

A Helping Hand

What we now call networking could, like the musical icon Prince, have a different name: "The Process Formerly Known as Helping."

When we get right down to it, distilling it to its finite form,

networking is helping others, both in our personal and professional lives. Most of us would gladly do so. We see the remarkable outreach that happens globally when a disaster occurs like Hurricane Katrina, the earthquake in Haiti or the Gulf oil spill. In our personal lives we are part of local communities that come together to support each other in times of personal and professional loss, ill health, financial woes.

The late P.J. Livingston, an insurance industry CEO, grew up on a farm. "Helping each other was a way of life. Remember, the phrase is 'the farming community' and that’s what we were: a community. The barn raisings were part of the culture, part of our nation's history...not just an episode of Little House on the Prairie."

The web we have woven is a safety net that consists of leads, lifelines and linkages. We weave this web, this safety net of colleagues, cronies, co-workers, classmates, casual acquaintances as we live our lives. In "The Secrets of Savvy Networking," I used the spider's web as a symbol of "Oh, what a web we weave." Today, it's a symbol of the worldwide web, an intricate configuration that grows, overlaps, and links much like our ever-growing, reshaped personal and professional online and offline networks.

Some of us are totally stymied by the term "Networking" for any number of reasons. Perhaps it's a belief in the Bootstrap Theory: "Pull yourself up by your own bootstraps." Or maybe we were taught that asking for help obligates us to return it. Or perhaps we are uncomfortable requesting help. Or we feel we're imposing on others. In reality, some people who think they're networking are actually imposing and they cause us to back off.

None of these thoughts is inherently bad. However, not being part of the online or face-to-face networking process rules out participation in the benefits: information, sources, leads, and support. Sadly we are then left to always reinvent the wheel, which is a colossal waste of time. It's hard to imagine that thirty years after I first learned the term "networking" was used to describe this way of life, there are still people who view it so negatively, refuse to participate and demean it. Ironically, social networking, an online version, has catapulted to the new way to do business and live life. Even with its detractors, social networking has exponentially grown across all age groups according to Forrester Research. So, why is there still an issue with business networking and how can we participate in a manner that is savvy, smart, thoughtful, generous and memorable?

O.P.E.: A Perk

In the National Speakers Association, we have an expression: O.P.E. — Other Peoples' Experience. O.P.E. is a great teacher and infinitely less costly than having to learn from each and every one of our own mistakes.

When you have a network, you learn from the mistakes of others. What a super time, money and aggravation saver! Unless you enjoy making your own bona fide and costly mistakes, having a network of O.P.E. is a gift. And one of the nuances of networking is that we treat gifts with appreciation, respect and value. Knowing what networking is — and being able to participate in the process — is crucial to anyone starting, managing or changing a career or building a business. And doing so with savvy, good manners, generosity of spirit, time and leads is memorable.

What Networking Is Not!

It's important to know what networking is but it's equally important to have a firm grasp on what it is not.

It is NOT:

[pic]a work style

[pic]a sales plan

[pic]a science

[pic]a means merely to receive and deceive in order to achieve

Networking isn't the same as working a room. You can mingle successfully and be lousy at the behavior, attitudes and follow-up critical to savvy networking. You can be great about sharing leads, support, referrals, providing timely follow-up, and at the same time find the thought of entering a room full of people, let alone approaching, schmoozing, and talking to anyone...to be daunting.

Being an artful conversationalist isn't the same as either of the other two skills – mingling and networking. It's the ability to have a meaningful exchange of words, ideas, information and thoughts – a dialog. (That's why the books I've written on each topic have been so successful: How to Work a Room, The Secrets of Savvy Networking, and What Do I Say Next?) And if we work on developing all three skills — mingling, schmoozing (conversation) and networking — we will increase our personal and professional "luck" factor and success.

Option: We can use the following as a checklist, the outline of an action plan for what we need to do, or as goals we want to achieve.

Networking is not only:

• Joining an organization

• Attending networking events

• Participating in online social networks like Linkedin, Facebook, Twitter, Google Plus, Instagram, etc.

• Mingling/Socializing

• Schmoozing/Conversing

• Exchanging business cards (Still an important accessory)

• Reconnecting with old acquaintances

• Referring people

• Matchmaking a colleague with a client

• Supporting others

• Motivating a protégé

• Behaving with respect

• Mentoring a new employee

• Being mentored

• Asking for assistance

• Tutoring a student

• Offering assistance

• Getting things done

• Listening intently

• Teaching a concept or skill

• Brainstorming

• Creating connections

• Helping others

• Forming alliances

• Acknowledging others

• Making friends

• Writing thank-you notes

• Solving problems

• Sharing resources

• Identifying people in our lives

• Following up

• Doing the right thing

The nuances of networking are beyond any one of these because they are a combination of them ALL!

RoAne's Reminders

• Networking is another word for helping.

• It is an informal process based on sharing which is mutually beneficial.

• It is an essential process we must master.

• It comes from a place of assisting others and being assisted.

• It is when we share leads, ideas, information, referrals and support.

Nuances of Business Networking

Chapter 2

Ethical Endings and Exits

How we enter a room, a conversation, a new job or organization is important and makes a definite impression. Our behavior, the actions we take, and how we treat people contribute to our reputations among those in our network. But how we leave anything – a job, a meeting, a volunteer position, a conversation or a friendship – speaks volumes about our character. With any action, we can shine or tarnish a professional or personal reputation. Our exit is the final impression, so make it the right one.

PARTING IS SUCH SWEET SORROW

Shakespeare nailed the problem with endings, when Juliet bid Romeo goodnight, by saying "parting is such sweet sorrow...." In truth, she would have been equally correct if she had said the sorrow was bittersweet.

There are numerous endings we navigate throughout life. School provides a significant number as we move from grade school through high school and finally college. Although each of those endings signals a new beginning, there is always an element of discomfort.

Some endings are rites of passage, like leaving our home for summer camp and then leaving our summer friends for home, moving into our first apartment, or taking a job in a city far from home. Others may be more traumatic. Many of us remember moving during the school year, leaving friends and starting over in a strange place in the middle of a school term. It's tough. Friendships and groups have been formed and now the "New Kid on the Block" has to penetrate a "posse" and learn to fit in.

Throughout life there's discomfort at leaving a familiar routine, even if it's just leaving a job no longer wanted. Sometimes we have to leave a friendship and clean out our "network" closets because some relationships become stressful or just no longer work. Endings aren't easy because they signal an embarkation on a new and unknown path.

LITTLE LEAVINGS, ENDLESS ENDINGS

Even life's little endings give some people trouble – getting off the phone or leaving a meeting or ending a lunch.

My grandmother perfected her phone call endings. When she was ready to hang up, she would sweetly say, "Thank you so much for calling," and before you could respond, you heard the phone click.

Experts recommend that when we're in a conversation we wait until we're talking, then interrupt ourselves and say, "Glad we had a chance to speak about.... Hope all goes well. Enjoyed talking with you." Yes, that does invest 15 words for what could be, "Gotta go," but it's a good investment and a smart one and one of the nuances of savvy networking.

There are those who must control the conversation and be the first to say goodbye. One person told me of her acquaintance who consistently ends phone conversations. When Jane excuses herself and says goodbye first, her friend keeps her on the phone with "just more thing," rehashing what has been said until he can end the conversation. That may be one of the reasons so many people avoid the phone and prefer to email or text!

Yes, Phone Control Freaks do exist, and we can handle them. Should they jump over our goodbye with a comment, politely say "I really must go" and, like Grandma, hang up.

THE PARTY'S OVER

Over the years, the question I'm most often asked about "working a room" while attending any event, is how we should end a face-to-face conversation. People feel perplexed and trapped by their inability to exit graciously. And they don't want to insult or hurt others by leaving them standing alone.

Extending our hand for a handshake is a visual signal that the ending of the conversation is beginning. "It's been a pleasure to meet you. Glad to hear our friend, Joe, is doing well in New York." Or you might say, "I have to excuse myself. I promised to call my client (or teenager) before...." You can insert the most relevant reason, "my children go to bed," or "my husband leaves for his trip," or "my mother goes kite surfing" or "my client leaves the office."

You can also exit and join another group with the appropriate segue, "Oh, I see my boss, my minister, my daughter's coach. If you'll excuse me..." allowing for natural movement around the room: from group to buffet to a different group back to the buffet and so on.

People often ask me what to do about the person who follows them around at a party or event, never "hearing" the goodbye. Some people suggest introducing the person to a new group of people and leaving him or her there. But if it's annoying or worse, worrisome, be firm. Say you need to move on and talk to others. Again, not smiling avoids a mixed message. My friend, Diane Parente, an image management consultant, is truly a gracious, fun, considerate person who makes others feel at ease. When she is having a good conversation at an event, she will often say, "I could monopolize your time but I know you want to meet other people. It's been a delight to talk with you!" Try it.

LET MY PEOPLE GO

As a guest, it's important to know when and how to leave a party so we don't overstay our welcome. Also, as the host, when someone says their goodbyes, we need to let them go.

Whether it's on the phone, at an event, or at a meeting, we need to hear the hint and take it. This isn't the moment to monopolize a person's time. Look for another person standing alone or visit the buffet dessert table. There will always be people having fun with the appealing appetizers, buffet of "beverages" and chocolate desserts.

When leaving any event, the best exit is the mandatory, verbal thank you to the host, appropriate goodbyes to those guests who merit a cheery goodbye, and then a gracious exit. A lengthy goodbye can be very irritating to the spouses, friends or co-workers who are awaiting us to leave with them, wondering what is taking us so long.

Being prepared to exit conversations or gatherings with grace and manners makes the right impression.

KNOW WHEN TO HOLD 'EM OR FOLD 'EM

Determining the right time to leave any place, any thing or any one requires information. We need to be aware of the environment, people's behavior, organizational changes, industry trends, the clock, and that voice in our gut that gives us so many hints.

How we leave is even more critical than how we enter and leaves a lasting impression that contributes to our reputation. Paul Simon may have found "50 Ways To Leave Your Lover," but he should have added this advice for the ethical exit when leaving any situation: "Give people proper notice and make sure loose ends are tied up." Although it doesn't rhyme or make for great music, this makes a better impression.

An executive explained to me why he didn't hire the candidate his human resource department thought was perfect for the job. "'Bob' had all the right qualifications and experience, was well-spoken and impressive. When I asked him how soon he could start, he said the upcoming Monday or as soon as we wanted him. That didn't sound right.

"We hired the candidate who said that he couldn't start for a month because he was in the midst of a project for his current employer that needed to be completed. Bob's willingness to start immediately gave us another message: if he was willing to leave his current employer with almost no notice, he could do that to us someday and potentially leave us in the lurch."

How we leave is so important: with proper notice, our projects organized, without burning our bridges.

How do we know when it's time to leave our jobs? There are signs, and some of them may be physical like headaches or stomach aches. Gabrielle, now a top cosmetic company salesperson, had been working in her uncle's restaurant. "Once I started getting migraines, I knew it was time to leave, but the family relationship made it complicated. My uncle pulled something that was the last straw. I haven't had a migraine in the seven years since I left."

There's the old joke about the mother who was trying to wake up her son to go to school. "Son, get up or you'll be late for school."

"Mom, I don't want to go to."

"But son, you have to go, you're the principal!" That's a career change waiting to happen.

FIRED UP

There are people who don't want to be the one to say they're leaving. For whatever reason, they prefer not to make that decision.

Joan, a bookstore manager, said that in her previous job with a very small family business, she intentionally did all kinds of stupid things. "I felt close to the owners and knew I needed to move on but hated the thought of 'deserting' them. It was easier for me if they fired me."

She knew that what she was doing was harmful to both her former employers and to herself. The cost of her intentional errors was incalculable and her employers felt used instead of deserted. There's no reference letter forthcoming from her former bosses.

EXITING REMARKS

Is this the time for the sodium pentathol (truth serum) confession? "This job sucks. My co-workers are lazy and aren't team players. My talents are going to waste." Might as well start singing "Take This Job and Shove It."

Here's a better way to exit. Make the decision and do the uncomfortable – tell the truth gently:

• "I've learned a lot, enjoyed working with you, and now I'm ready for new challenges."

• "I want to try my hand at my first love (my music career, being a chef, starting my own gift basket business, working for a large corporation)."

• "I need a different challenge."

The New York Times featured not-so-fond farewell emails that were the goodbye memos of some employees who were "newly departed" from their companies and firms. At one law firm these goodbyes became a contest to see who was the most creative. While some of the departure memos were gracious, others were not. Some of these exit emails were forwarded from recipients to their online network and those whose last words were barbed, may come back to haunt the writers.

The Ethical Exit should not diminish, insult or accuse because that can boomerang and harm our reputation. In our very viral world, the word gets out instantaneously and to way too many people.

In those instances in which the boss requests illegal or unethical practices, leaving a job makes sense. Those situations require immediate decisions and actions so we don't have to "tell it to the judge."

FIRING A CLIENT OR SERVICE PERSON

Sometimes we need to let go of a client. They're just too much work, too critical, too demanding, or too rude. This is when we have to say, "I think it makes sense for you to find another accountant (hairstylist, cleaner, attorney, etc.)." "I know you will be happier and more satisfied working with another financial planner (wedding planner, architect, personal trainer, etc.) who is better-suited to you."

It would be easier to have a big brute of a bodyguard just toss the person out of our business life, as if he were a bouncer at a chi-chi club, but of course that isn't feasible. The reality is we need to express our decisions for ourselves. Why? Because, (1) you never know when someone is going to reappear another time in your life; (2) it makes sense not to burn a bridge; and, (3) it's a personal touch that leaves a positive impression.

One of my big regrets is that I left my hairstylist after eighteen years and never had the courage to say something. He deserved better. I didn't need to tell him that he was no longer doing a good enough job. All I had to say is that I needed to find someone in my area, rather than driving the forty minutes to downtown San Francisco.

Five years later, I decided to leave my aerobics studio after thirteen years to join a new health club. When it came time to rejoin, I remembered how badly I left my hairstylist and was determined to leave my exercise studio graciously. I told the owner I would not be renewing because I needed more class choices to fit my speaking and writing schedule. Although I really wanted to give her the laundry list of all my complaints, she had never heard any of us when we made suggestions in the past. She didn't need to hear them then and I needed to exit without regrets or recriminations.

When we fire our worst clients, we find we have more time with our best clients because the bad ones have been a drain on our resources and time. Now we'll have the time to find new clients as well. Losing the loser is a win all around.

An Aside: We are now experiencing the “text” and social media exits, “de-employments”, goodbyes and breakups. They save time but may not ultimately contribute to our best reputations. It takes courage to say what needs to be said to end a situation. And it takes a good deal of thought to say it in a way that is not damaging or burns a bridge. Savvy Networkers think of the recipient as they plan their words.

GOING OUT IN STYLE

Many people approach the major exits of their lives with grace. Newspapers often run stories about people who "leave at the top of their game," whether in business, entertainment or sports. The late Coach Bill Walsh of the San Francisco 49ers, Magic Johnson and Pete Sampras were elegant in their leave-taking. Magic left the court but hasn't left the game, continuing to make remarkable contributions to his team, his charities, and his community. His gracious exit signaled a new beginning.

TAKING A FINAL BOW

"If we are what we do, when we don't, then we're not." That old adage reflects the situations of many facing retirement or layoffs. There are those who can't let go of their positions – be it a senior vice president or the head coach who returns too often to visit the gang. That behavior can causes problems for their successors.

If you're someone who is leaving a position, whether it's due to retirement or a new position, you will create a better impression by staying in touch appropriately and showing up when invited.

BREAKING UP IS HARD TO DO

Some of the biggest exits that we have to manage are in our personal lives and they are often the most difficult. While it's so much easier just emailing or texting (heaven forbid) our "Dear John or Jeanette" letter, it demonstrates a lack of courage, character and courtesy. Unfortunately, the incidences of such cowardice have increased, generating headlines in the Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, and numerous other major papers. The online or text breakup message is easy, unkind and unconscionable!

We now have to deal with the realities of "defriending" (a new word in the Oxford dictionary), "unfollowing" and "unlinking" from those who, for a variety of reasons, may no longer be our online pals. I have done this to three people because the messages they sent made me squirm. I bowed out because I didn't want my connections, friends and contacts to think I endorsed – or even was associated with – a person who would send such messages. No conversation was necessary, "Delete." It was easy.

But it's not as easy to detach from the real people in our daily, face-to-face lives. Many of us want our endings to include a list of actions and transgressions, but that may not serve our purpose in the long run, and it certainly severs the possibility of any future goodwill.

Things change, people change, our circumstances and needs change. Sometimes those changes cause us to merely drift apart without confrontation or even conversation. We just go our separate ways because our interests are now different. But no matter why we end our relationship, the important thing is to do it in a way that could be printed in the papers or broadcast on the air without either party being embarrassed. Someday we may have to co-exist with that person again, so try not to burn your bridges.

FINAL BLOWS

Allowing endings to occur, and adjusting to them, takes an attitude shift, some intestinal fortitude, and the belief that something better is in store. When your Final Bow wasn't voluntary, but was caused by an acquisition or merger or cost-cutting measure, then it becomes the Final Blow. Those endings are often foreshadowed and are almost never a surprise, if we're paying attention.

The same applies to personal breakups and faltering friendships. There are signs and signals...there always are.

One of my favorite office wall hangings is a quote: "What's let go leaves room for what's to become." When the San Francisco Unified School District laid off 1,200 teachers due to a budget issue, I was one of them, even though I had tenure. A pink slip from a profession we had been told we could "always fall back on" added insult to injury. Once it arrived – by expensive registered mail, no less – I was finished with teaching. The trust was broken. It left room for what has and what will continue to become in my life – a successful speaking and writing career. And, in retrospect, I’m grateful.

The alleged friend who writes that she is too busy to scramble to the phone to return your calls sends a clear message. Let her go. Celebrate how much extra time you have in your life and look forward to what and whom the future holds.

WORDS, WORDS, WORDS

Some people need to say final words. The phrase that has become part of our culture: “Elvis has left the building” was used in movies and by “Frasier Crane”, NBC's former fictitious talk show host, announcing the end. We know what it means when we hear Looney Tunes ending phrase “That’s All Folks”. Yet, some of us want to say more about our reasons for the endings:

"I'm tired of your selfish behavior."

"This company treats employees poorly."

"Your know-it-all attitude is unbearable."

"Don't call me, don't email me, we can't be friends."

Others of us find that final words are unnecessary. It's a judgment call. Saying something about the ending may be appropriate in some situations, but not in others. We leave meetings, appointments, and board retreats. We end our term as vice-president of our professional association. Rotary or alumni associations and other organizations have a "passing of the gavel" ritual to help us end one regime and begin another. Our companies may transfer us to a different division or give us a new territory. We constantly leave behind segments of our professional and personal lives.

Having an exit strategy helps. When we leave with style and grace, we make the right impression on those who remain.

ROANE’S REMINDERS

• Exits and endings are difficult

• "Little leavings" are perplexing:

o The party

o The conversation

o The phone call

o The meeting

• Big endings are problematic:

o The job

o The career

o The relationship

• How we manage our exits creates an indelible impression

• Tell the truth

• Give notice

• Avoid bad-mouthing or blame

. Avoid burning bridges

Nuances of Business Networking

Chapter 3

Noble, Next Level Networking™

The term "networking" has been bandied about for over three decades and has become a buzzword in many corridors and companies. That's unfortunate because the process that we now call "networking" is an age old one that started over two thousand years ago.

"No room at the inn? Can you perhaps recommend a barn with a manger?" is how I began The Secrets of Savvy Networking. Yes, recommending the barn with a manger to Mary is one of history's first recorded networking success stories.

Networking is not what the clueless think it is: "Give me a lead and then I will give you one. But, if you don't, I won't." Yes, it is about sharing leads, earning access to them via relationships, and returning the support and favors, as part of a natural flow that comes from a deeper place within.

SAVVY networking is beyond the job search tool, beyond the business building exchange, beyond the access to other people's circles, and yet it is all of these as well. There are three incontrovertible tenets that are the basis for NOBLE networking that make the RIGHT impression and contribute to a good reputation.

RULE OF THREE

I've developed three incontrovertible tenets that form the basis for savvy, next-level, even strategic networking.

• Networking is a LIFESTYLE, not a work style.

• Networking is an ART, not a science – and NOT a spreadsheet activity.

• Networking is an ENRICHMENT program, not an entitlement program.

We earn the right to ask for access to others' networks in two overlapping ways:

1. Relationship: We know someone in common,

2. Membership: We belong to the same group.

That's why making a good impression is so important. If we don't appear worthy of someone else's leads, contacts and network, we will, in effect, be labeled "access denied."

WHO KNOWS YOU?

"It's not what you know, but who you know." Coming from the Chicago of Mayor Richard Daley, the First, that axiom was a lesson learned early and well. The adage was reinforced by an early networking expert, Sally Livingston, who added: "...and WHO knows YOU." I first wrote that over a decade ago in The Secrets of Savvy Networking and have come to see it repeated in many places. It's valid, but now there is another catch to the cliché. It's "who WANTS to know you." Just because we may know someone doesn't mean they want to know us, or share their ideas, leads, information or support with us.

A RoAne RULE: Be the savvy, nobly behaved individual people WANT to know, allow into their networks and recommend to others.

IGNOBLE NETWORKING

The economic downturn has inspired a renewed interest in networking. A host of articles and books have appeared with tips and suggestions to help those who don't know how to network, as well as those who need to relearn the finite points of the process.

Since 1980, I have read bad advice, seen bad behavior, and heard of really bad mistakes made under the guise of what some people think is networking. I'd call it NOT-working. When our economy is "in the pink slip mode," people are prompted to pester rather than use my TAP® method: Timely and Appropriately Persistent. Whether we're unemployed, underemployed, or unhappily employed, never forget that pressured contacts feel pushed, and as a result may not want to assist us with information, leads or advice. We EARN our right to the contacts of others.

We need to avoid the McNuggets of networking®, a fast food approach that's not nutritional enough to nurture our contact networks because that's a process that takes time.

10 TRAITS OF TOPNOTCH, NEXT LEVEL NETWORKERS

For those who want to manage their careers or change them as well as build a client base, here is a guideline:

1. Mingle and work rooms with comfort, confidence and approachability.

Being able to "work a room" means moving around, meeting people, talking to them, connecting and listening. That is not "networking."

2. Know who you know and who you OWE.

Savvy networkers have a good grasp on the overlapping circles of their contacts and know who they have helped and who has helped them. With today's databases, LinkedIn, Twitter and Facebook, etc., it's easier than ever to touch base, connect and reconnect. Savvy networkers understand the currency of "markers."

Give generously, as well as receive, whether it is support, ideas, leads, information, or referrals.

Topnotch networkers know what they need and ask for it in a way that doesn't back people into a corner or make them feel pressured.

3. Maintain visibility.

Savvy networkers become involved, show up and renew memberships in professional, charitable, community and nonprofit organizations when employed, not just when job searching.

4. Mind your manners and have a solid working knowledge of etiquette.

There is no substitute for gracious behavior as that is at the core of political and personal savvy. And, that's the essence of NOBLE and NUANCED networking.

5. Avoid backing people into corners with requests, demands, and needs.

Savvy networkers have learned how to make known what they're looking for without exerting pernicious pressure.

6. Acknowledge, attribute and appreciate deeds done on your behalf.

Savvy networkers have good notepaper, pens and stamps and take the time to handwrite expressions of thanks and share with others who the people are who have been helpful to them.

7. Follow up in a timely fashion.

The smartest networkers know that a time-lapsed follow-up loses its luster.

8. Know that they don’t know everything.

But, notable networkers do know where to go to find what they need to know.

9. Stay in touch with people when they NEED NOTHING.

Drop a note in the mail, send an email, tap a text or pick up the phone just to connect.

By exhibiting and embracing these traits, contacts will increase, connections become stronger, and safety nets will expand and support us.

NETWORKING IS NOT ONLY

Here's another option. We can use this 29-point checklist, some of which has been addressed in an earlier chapter, to see if we're ready for "next level networking" both online and off line. Do we:

Get involved in organizations

1. Attend networking events

2. Mingle

3. Schmooze

4. Exchange business cards

5. Reconnect with old acquaintances

6. Give referrals

7. Match a colleague with a client

8. Support others

9. Motivate a protégé

Treat people with respect

10. Mentor a new employee

11. Be mentored by someone we respect

12. Ask for assistance

13. Offer assistance

14. Get things done

15. Listen with ears, eyes and heart

16. Teach a concept or skill

17. Brainstorm

18. Create connections

19. Help others

Form alliances

20. Acknowledge others

Keep people "in the loop"

21. Solve problems

22. Share resources

23. Call in favors to help others

24. Follow up

25. Do the right thing

Networking is more than any one of these alone, it is a combination of ALL of these behaviors!

ROANE'S REMINDERS

• Networking is another word for helping.

• It is an informal process based on mutually beneficial sharing.

• It is an essential process we must master.

• It has a dues-paying component in which favors are markers that are the currency for the process.

• It comes from a place of assisting others and being assisted.

• What we share are leads, ideas, information, referrals and support.

• Next-level networking involves savvy, a sense of political awareness, and the ability to bring people together.

• Savvy networkers make the best impression on clients, colleagues, community and co-workers.

Susan RoAne is a bestselling author (How To Work A Room®, The Secrets of Savvy Networking, Face To Face: How To Reclaim The Personal Touch in A Digital World) and book publishing coach/consultant.

Susan RoAne was named one of the 25 Networking experts by

Click here to follow Susan on Twitter.

Click here to subscribe to her Blog.

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