Get Your Life Back Christian Counseling Ministries



A Questionnaire designed for engaged couples to Utilize in counseling as a tool to gather information about each other and to discuss responses and results. It will reveal expectations, beliefs, perceptions, values, desires, history and assumptions. Attributes, perceptions, beliefs, personal characteristics, and likes and dislikes Am I in love with you?______________________________Am I attracted to you? ______________________________Do you love yourself? ________________Why are we getting married? _________________________________________________________________What do we have in common? ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________What are your long term personal, career, and ministry goals? _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________What do I see in him/her? ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Do you think the nature of our relationship will change after the wedding & marriage? ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________.Where do you see us in 20 years? __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________.Do you gamble or drink liquor and spirits (strong drink)? ________________________________________How attractive would you rate me on a scale from 1-10? _________________________________Are you easily tempered? ____________________________________________________________Have you ever hit/slap/pushed the opposite sex? Why? ___________________________________________________________________________________________What are your triggers? Why? _______________________________________________________________Are you a jealous person? _________Are you an emotional person? ____________Are you affectionate? ____________Are you a romantic? __________How? ________________________________________________________Do you have a criminal record? ________________________________________________________________Do you have any trust issues or insecurity? _____________________________________________________How do you think I see you? _________________________________________________________________How important is communication to you? ______________________________________________________What’s your favorite kind of music? ___________________________________________________________Are we going to travel? ______________________________________________________________________Do you have a fear of flying? _______Do you think it is important to remain faithful? _______Are you comfortable talking with me? _________________________________________________________Family History, preferences, health, other interests What was your childhood like? ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Was your family close and affectionate? __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Do you think we will have problems with your family during the holidays? ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________What values do you want to bring from your family into our marriage? ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________What do you like and dislike about your family? _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________What do you like and dislike about my family? __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________What do you like and dislike about your parents' marriage? ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________What do you like and dislike about my parents' marriage? ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Are you or your family prejudice against any other culture of race? __________________________________________________________________________________________.Do you like to visit family and go to family reunions? ___________How would you describe yourself? _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________How important is affirmation to me? ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Do I handle compliments well? _______________________________________________________________What is your love language? (Giving words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service and physical touch) _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Will you verbally tell me that you love me? ____________Do you think we listen to one another well? __________________________________________________Do you think it is important to know one another's physical and mental health histories? ____________How do you feel about healthy eating? ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Are you a visionary? _________________________________________________________________________Are you a mover/shaker? (Active or influential in some field of endeavor?) _________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________Do you procrastinate? Or are you tenacious and determined to complete tasks and goals? ___________Explain (optional): ______________________________________________________________________. Decisions and distribution of responsibilities after the wedding ceremonyWho will handle to budget, both or either one? _______________________________________________Are you handy around the house (mild plumbing, painting, electronics, assembling furniture…)? __________________________________________________________________________________________Will you take turns with me cleaning the toilet? _____________________Will you take off your shoes before walking across the floor? ____________Do you throw you clothes on the floor? ____________________Are you a neat person or organized? ________________________How are we going to divide up the household chores? (Cooking, cleaning, dishes, laundry). ______________________________________________________________________________________________________How do you like to spend yours or our days off? ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________What are your expectations about how we will spend our free time? _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Do you believe that we should be doing everything together? _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Are we going to give each other space? _________________________________________________________Do you expect me to tell you where I am all of the time? ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Do you expect me to ask you for permission to do things first? _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Can we each pursue our own interests? ________________________________________________________Do you need time alone? ____________________________________________________________________How would you feel if I want a night out with my friends now and then? _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________How will we make sure we have quality time together? _____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________How much time will we spend with our in-laws? __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Can we talk about money? ___________________________________________________________________Are you a saver or spender when it comes to money? ____________________________________________How much do we owe in debts and what are our assets? ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Do you want to have a budget? _______________________________________________________________Where does our money go? ___________________________________________________________________Should we have a joint checking account or separate accounts or both? __________________________________________________________________________________________________.Who is going to be responsible for making sure that bills are paid on time? ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Do you consider going to the movies and having a vacation every year a necessity or a luxury? ____________________________________________________________________________________________What are our financial goals? __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Do you have any outstanding fines or debts? ___________________________________________________What are our future plans for purchasing a home? ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Do you have a desire to move out of the state in the future? _________________________Do we think both of our names should be on the house deeds and title? ____________________________Who do we leave the house to? _______________________________________________________________Do we both know where our important financial documents are located? __________________________Intimacy, Family Planning and Dealing with ConflictDo you believe that the man/husband should have the last say in marital conflicts or decisions? _______What type of birth control should we use if we want to postpone or prevent parenthood? _________________________________________________________________________________________________________Do you like children? ______Do we want to have children? _______Do you want to have children? And if so, how many? _________How long should we be married before having children? __________________________What kind of parent do you think you will be? ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Do you feel a male infant should be circumcised? ____________What is your parenting style (authoritative, authoritarian, Indulgent, passive, own philosophy)? (Definitions below).____________________________________________________Definitions-Authoritarian: Strict, rigid, commanding, demanding, accepts no feedback or explanation from children regardless of the circumstances, give severe punishments. Indulgent: lenient. Allows immature and childish behavior. Expects children to learn from their mistakes and to fend for themselves in most times of need. Tend to be democratic and allow feedback from their children on issues. Listens to both sides of an argument and usually make a compromise. Indulgent parents usually avoid confrontation with their children by all means, but do tend to be more involved and emotionally closer to their children. Authoritative: Authoritative parents are a combination of the two styles previously mentioned. They are the happy medium. While expecting proper behavior from their children, they welcome feedback and questioning on certain issues. They're able to demand things of their children but are also able to respond to what they're child says, questions and requests. Passive: Passive parenting is being completely uninvolved. These parents may never be home due to immaturity, work or the like. These children are usually raised by grandparents, older siblings, babysitters or themselves. There is no parental involvement at all! Further info is located at: How do you feel about adoption? _____________________________________________________________Do you believe in practicing abstinence until marriage? _________________________________________Will one of us stay home after we have children? _______________________________________________Do you have any children already? _________________________________________________________Can we talk about sex? _____________Should we talk about sex? ____________Are you comfortable discussing your sexual likes and dislikes? _______________________________What are your expectations of our sexual relationship? _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________How will we make decisions together? ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________.Are we both willing to face into difficult areas or do we try to avoid conflict? ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Do you think we have issues or problems in our relationship that we need to deal with before our wedding? __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________How are we different? _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Do you think our differences will create problems in our marriage? ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Do you expect or have a desire for me to change? __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Empathy, Beliefs, and Spiritual Expectations Do believe in the baptism of the Holy Ghost? __________________________________________________Do you speak and/or pray in Tongues as the Holy Spirit gives utterance? _________________________Do you believe in the power of prayer? __________Do you believe in women preachers? ___________Do you believe in the 5 fold ministerial gifts to the body? ______________Can we both forgive easily? _____________Is it hard for you to say “I’m sorry?” _________________Are we both willing to work on our communication and share intimately with each other? ____________Do we handle conflict well? ______________________Do you think faith and spirituality are important in a marriage? ________________How do you view God? _____________________________________________________________________How do you feel about attending separate churches? ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Do you believe in attending Sunday services consistently or once in a while? ________________________Are we going to read and/or study the Bible together sometimes? _________________________________Recreational and Interests2842260596900022307555969000Fishing……………………………….. Yes No2842260387350022307553873500Skating/Ice Skating………………….. Yes No2842260863600022307558636000Bowling………………………………. Yes No2842260723900022307557239000Movies………………………………... Yes No2842260819150022307558191500Tennis……………………………… Yes No2842260831850022307558318500Golf………………………………….. Yes No2842260622300022307556223000Exercise/Fitness…………………… Yes NoTraveling……………………………__Yes __NoOutside Brunch/lunch (aka picnics)..__Yes __NoMusic Interests…….………__Gospel __Jazz __R&B __Hip Hop __Pop __CountryDining out………………….__Yes ___NoCooking…………………….__Yes __NoFamily gatherings, reunions/Sunday dinners with guests…….. __Yes __No Marriage Retreats…………__Yes __NoUltimate Christian Marriage TestPlease note that all fields followed by an asterisk must be filled in.1. Christian Marriage is a*contractcommitmentcovenant2. To minister to my spouse is*to submitto cherishto serve3. Marriage is *50/5060/40100/04. God Hates Divorce*truefalse5. Love is *an emotiona decisionblind6. The foundation of marriage is*trustcommunicationGod7. Sex is *a covenanta gift from goda martial duty8. Divorce is not a sin*truefalse9. Adultery is grounds for divorce*truefalse10. Loving someone of the same sex is permissible*truefalse11. Gay marriage is permissible*truefalse12. The husband is the head of his wife*truefalse13. Dying to myself means*physical deathSelf-deceptiondenying my flesh14. Going to bed angry is okay*truefalse15. Forgiveness is *a processa mandatedifficult16. Submission is for wives only*truefalse17. Infidelity can be sexual or emotional*truefalse18. A wedding vow is*a promisea solemn oathan agreement19. When I'm really angry with my spouse*I should be quiettalk out the problemyell and scream 20. A threesome is okay if we both agree*truefalse21. Withholding sex when I'm mad is acceptable*truefalse22. Quality time with my spouse *includes the kidsis our time aloneis going to church23. Women need affection more than men*truefalse24. Praying together is *an act of intimacyan inconveniencenot necessary25. How a husband treats his wife can hinder his prayers*truefalseLinks: Bible test contains an assortment of true/false, and multiple choice questions regarding sex in the bible. Many of the answers can be found on our website. Once you have completed the test and are satisfied with your selections, click the submit button to receive the answers. *Start Your Test BelowTop of FormBible Sex Test Please note that all fields followed by an asterisk must be filled in.1. Jesus said if a man looks at a woman with lust he has committed*1. Jesus said if a man looks at a woman with lust he has committed*FornicationSinAdultery2. The Bible says that husbands and wives should only deprive one another from sex if it is for fasting and prayer*2. The Bible says that husbands and wives should only deprive one another from sex if it is for fasting and prayer*TrueFalse3. What did David do after seeing Bathsheba bathing *3. What did David do after seeing Bathsheba bathing *Had sex with her Had her husband killedMarried herAll of the above4. How many sexual no-no's are recorded in the Bible?*4. How many sexual no-no's are recorded in the Bible?*58105. What did the men of Sodom want to do with the two angels that came to visit Lot?*5. What did the men of Sodom want to do with the two angels that came to visit Lot?*Sleep with themPray with themHave sex with them6. The Bible says oral sex between husband and wives is sinful*6. The Bible says oral sex between husband and wives is sinful*TrueFalse7. The Bible says that sex was created only for the enjoyment of the husband*7. The Bible says that sex was created only for the enjoyment of the husband*TrueFalse8. As long as the couple agrees, anything is permissabe in the bedroom*8. As long as the couple agrees, anything is permissabe in the bedroom*TrueFalse9. Pornography is an acceptable practice for married Christian couples*9. Pornography is an acceptable practice for married Christian couples*TrueFalse10. Thou shalt not commit adultery is the *10. Thou shalt not commit adultery is the *6th commandment7th commandment8th commandment11. Sex before marriage is called*11. Sex before marriage is called*LustIncestFornication12. Anytime sex takes place outside of the marriage bed, God considers it*12. Anytime sex takes place outside of the marriage bed, God considers it*DetestableSexually immoralBlasphemy13. Scripturally speaking, because the husband is the head he should be the aggressor in the bedroom*13. Scripturally speaking, because the husband is the head he should be the aggressor in the bedroom*TrueFalse14. When it comes to sexual stimulation God created men to be more visual and women to be more emotional*14. When it comes to sexual stimulation God created men to be more visual and women to be more emotional*TrueFalse15. According to the Bible married couples should only have sex to reproduce *15. According to the Bible married couples should only have sex to reproduce *TrueFalse16. A common euphemism for sex in the Bible*16. A common euphemism for sex in the Bible*To knowTo lay downFruit of the womb17. What did Joseph do when Potiphar's wife made sexual advances towards him*17. What did Joseph do when Potiphar's wife made sexual advances towards him*Made love to herRan away leaving his coat behindImmediately told his master Potiphar18. Paul said if single people cannot contain themselves sexually, it is better to marry than to*18. Paul said if single people cannot contain themselves sexually, it is better to marry than to*Be aloneMasturbateFornicateBurnBottom of Form Quiz Point Values 1 point = almost never 2 points = once in a while 3 points = frequently Add up your points prior to submitting your answers.Christian Marriage Sex Test Please note that all fields followed by an asterisk must be filled in.1. Discussions about sex result in, defensiveness, arguing, accusations, criticism, or one or both of you walking away hurt or angry.*1. Discussions about sex result in, defensiveness, arguing, accusations, criticism, or one or both of you walking away hurt or angry.*\n 2. My spouse expresses displeasure with our sex life.*2. My spouse expresses displeasure with our sex life.*\n 3. Either I or my spouse complains about not getting enough sex.*3. Either I or my spouse complains about not getting enough sex.*\n 4. When my spouse and I make love it's the same old routine.*4. When my spouse and I make love it's the same old routine.*\n 5. I hold back from telling my spouse what I really think and feel about our sex life.*5. I hold back from telling my spouse what I really think and feel about our sex life.*\n 6. I fantasize about making love to someone else.*6. I fantasize about making love to someone else.*\n 7. Making love feels like a chore.*7. Making love feels like a chore.*\n 8. When we argue, sex is withheld and used as a weapon by one of us.*8. When we argue, sex is withheld and used as a weapon by one of us.*\n Well Do You Know Your Spouse? Please note that all fields followed by an asterisk must be filled in.First Name*First Name*E-mail Address*E-mail Address*My Spouse at WorkI know what my spouse likes most about his/her job. I know what my spouse likes least about his/her job.I know who annoys my spouse the most at work.I know the last time and the reason why my spouse was reprimanded.I know my spouses' career goals.My Spouse at HomeI know how my spouse likes to unwind.I know his/her favorite meal.I know his/her least favorite household chore.I know how many hours of sleep my spouse needs to feel refreshed.If my spouse could change one thing in our home, I know what change s/he would make.I know my spouses' favorite room in our home.My Spouse at PlayI know my spouses' favorite vacation spot.I know my spouses' favorite movie.I know my spouses' favorite place to dine.I know the last joke my spouse laughed at.I know how much play time my spouse needs during the week to avoid feeling stressed.I know what games my spouse enjoys playing or watching.My Spouses' EmotionsI know the one thing that can get my spouse out of a bad mood.I know my spouses' love language.I can detect when something is bothering my spouse without having to be told.I know the one thing my spouse would change about him/herself if it were possible.I know my spouses' biggest fears.I know my spouses' most recent disappointment. My Spouses' PastI know which extra curricula activities my spouse participated in as a child.I know his/her least favorite subject in school.I know his/her biggest childhood disappointment.I know his/her childhood fear.I know what he/she wanted to be when they grew up.I know my spouses' greatest past achievement. My ObservationsWithin five pounds, I know how much s/he weighs.I know the color my spouse wears most often.I know a phrase my spouse says frequently.I know the name of her/his favorite cologne.I know the one thing I do that annoys him/her.Total the number of unchecked boxes: I missed 0 - 2I missed 3 - 4I missed 5 - 6I missed 7 - 8I missed 9 - 10I stopped counting! ................
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