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"There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast." - Unknown

"Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods.

Cats have never forgotten this." - Anonymous

"Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a

sled through snow." - Jeff Valdez

"In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats." - English proverb

"As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat." - Ellen Perry Berkeley

"One cat just leads to another." - Ernest Hemingway

"Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back

to you later." - Mary Bly

"Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a

good many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from

insomnia." - Joseph Wood Krutch

"People that hate cats, will come back as mice in their next life." - Faith Resnick

"There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all

owned by cats." - Anonymous

"I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of

cats is infinitely superior." - Hippolyte Taine

"There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life:

music and cats." - Albert Schweitzer

"The cat has too much spirit to have no heart." - Ernest Menaul

"Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God." - Unknown

"Time spent with cats is never wasted." - Colette

"Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel.

True, and they have many other fine qualities as well." - Missy Dizick

"You will always be lucky if you know how to make friends with

strange cats." - Colonial American proverb

"Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to

ask for what you want." - Joseph Wood Krutch

"Cats aren't clean, they're just covered with cat spit."

- John S. Nichols

Who would believe such pleasure from a wee ball o' fur?

- Irish Saying

"I love cats because I enjoy my home; and little by little,

they become its visible soul."-- Jean Cocteau

What if it was cats who invented technology... would they have TV

shows starring rubber sqeak toys?

-- Douglas Coupland

When the mouse laughs at the cat, there is a hole nearby.

-- Nigerian Proverb

The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop

to admitting it.

--Doug Larson

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on

their feet, what happen if you strap toast on the back of a cat

and drop it?

--Steven Wright

Cats are soft-furred mammals, who are mildly and clumsily

predatory. They have anywhere from two to a dozen neurons.

The baseline intellect of a cat has two states. 1) Chow state

(feeding frenzy) 2) Asleep mode (unconscious on your bed with

whiskers twitching)

--Elaine Richards

No matter how much the cats fight, there always seem to be plenty

of kittens.

--Abraham Lincoln

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has

a purpose.

Garrison Keillor

A child is a person who can't understand why someone would give

away a perfectly good kitten.

--Doug Larson

Kitten: small homicidal muffin on legs; affects human sensibilities to the point of endowing the most wanton and ruthless acts of destruction with near-mythical overtones of cuteness. Not recommended for beginners. Get at least two.

--strata@psyche.mit.edu

After dark all cats are leopards.

--Native American Proverb (Zuni)

CAT, n: (1) A lapwarmer with a built-in buzzer.

--Anon.

I am not a cat man, but a dog man, and all felines can tell this

at a glance -- a sharp, vindictive glance.

-- James Thurber

For a man to truly understand rejection, he must first be ignored

by a cat.

--Anon.

"If animals could speak the dog would be a a blundering outspoken

fellow, but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a

word too much." - Mark Twain

"I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us.

Pigs treat us as equals." - Winston Churchill

"We humans are indeed fortunate if we happen to be chosen to be

owned by a cat."

"How we behave toward cats here below determines our status in

heaven." - Robert A. Heinlein

"No heaven will ever Heaven be; Unless my cats are there to

welcome me." - Unknown

"With the qualities of cleanliness, affection, patience, dignity,

and courage that cats have, how many of us, I ask you, would be

capable of becoming cats?" - Fernand Mery

"The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets." - Sonja Monsen

"Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and

will piss on your computer." - Bruce Graham

"Beware of people who dislike cats." - Irish proverb

"I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic"

"My husband said it was him or the cat... I miss him sometimes."

"Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made

slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed

with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate

the cat." --Mark Twain

"Way down deep, we're all motivated by the same urges.

Cats have the courage to live by them." - Jim Davis

"Most cats, when they are Out want to be In, and vice versa, and

often simultaneously." - Louis F. Camuti, DVM

"The cat is domestic only as far as suits its own ends..."-- Saki (H. H. Munro),

"One reason we admire cats is for their proficiency in

one-upmanship. They always seem to come out on top, no matter

what they are doing, or pretend they do." - Barbara Webster

"There are few things in life more heartwarming than to be

welcomed by a cat." - Tay Hohoff

"In the beginning, God created man, but seeing him so feeble,

He gave him the cat." - Warren Eckstein

"You can't own a cat. The best you can do is be partners."

- Sir Harry Swanson

"The smallest feline is a masterpiece." - Leonardo da Vinci

"A cat has absolute emotional honesty: human beings, for one

reason or another, may hide their feelings, but a cat does not."

- Ernest Hemingway

"Kittens are born with their eyes shut. They open them in about

six days, take a look around, then close them again for the

better part of their lives." - Stephen Baker

"Even the stupidest cat seems to know more than any dog."

- Eleanor Clark

"As anyone who has ever been around a cat for any length of time

well knows cats have enormous patience with the limitations of

the human kind." - Cleveland Amory

"Cats do not have to be shown how to have a good time, for they

are unfailing ingenious in that respect." - James Mason

"Cats' hearing apparatus is built to allow the human voice to

easily go in one ear and out the other." - Stephen Baker

"If we treated everyone we meet with the same affection we bestow

upon our favorite cat, they, too, would purr." - Martin Buxbaum

"A meow massages the heart." - Stuart McMillan

"Cats can be cooperative when something feels good, which, to a

cat, is the way everything is supposed to feel as much of the

time as possible." - Roger Caras

"No amount of time can erase the memory of a good cat, and no

amount of masking tape can ever totally remove his fur from

your couch." - Leo Dworken

"There is, incidentally, no way of talking about cats that enables

one to come off as a sane person." - Dan Greenberg

"When I play with my cat, who knows if I am not a pastime to her

more than she is to me?" - Montaigne

"Women and cats will do as they please... men and dogs should

relax and get used to the idea."

- ROBERT A. HEINLEIN

"I have noticed that what cats most appreciate in a human being

is not the ability to produce food which they take for granted-

-but his or her entertainment value." - Geoffrey Household

"Dogs have owners, cats have staff." - Unknown

The more people I meet the more I like my cat."

--Anonymous

"By associating with the cat one only risks becoming richer."

--Colette

"Cats are designated friends."

--Norman Corwin

"Cat: A pygmy lion who loves mice, hates dogs, and patronizes

human beings."

--Oliver Herford 1863-1935 American Writer.

"Thou art the Great Cat, the avenger of the Gods, and the judge

of words, and the president of the sovereign chiefs and the

governor of the holy Circle; thou art indeed...the Great Cat."

--Inscription on the Royal Tombs at Thebes

"To err is human, to purr is feline."

--Robert Byrne

"They say the test of literary power is whether a man can write

an inscription. I say, Can he name a kitten?"

--Samuel Butler

"Cats don't like change without their consent."

--Roger A. Caras

"Prowling his own quiet backyard or asleep by the fire, he is

still only a whisker away from the wilds."

--Jean Burden

"An ordinary kitten will ask more questions than any five year old."

--Carl Van Vechten

"If cats could talk, they wouldn't."

--Nan Porter

"Purring would seem to be, in her case, an automatic safety-valve

device for dealing with happiness overflow."

Monica Edwards (English writer)

"A cat is the only domestic animal I know who toilet trains itself

and does a damned impressive job of it."

--Joseph Epstein

"There are no ordinary cats."

--Colette

"The phrase 'domestic cat' is an oxymoron."

--George Will

"God made the cat in order that man might have the pleasure of

caressing the tiger."

--Fernand Mery

"To bathe a cat takes brute force, perseverance, courage of

conviction--and a cat. The last ingredient is usually hardest

to come by."

--Stephen Baker

"Cat people are different, to the extent that they generally are

not conformists. How could they be, with a cat running their

lives?"

--Louis J. Camuti, DVM

"Like a graceful vase, a cat, even when motionless, seems to flow."

--George F. Will

"A cat is a puzzle for which there is no solution."

--Hazel Nicholson

"As we all know, cats now rule the world."

--John R.F. Breen

"Cats know how to obtain food without labor, shelter without

confinement, and love without penalties."

--W.L. George

"There is, indeed, no single quality of the cat that man could not

emulate to his advantage."

--Carl Van Vechten

"There is nothing sweeter than his peace when at rest, for there

is nothing brisker than his life when in motion."

--Christopher Smart

"To gain the friendship of a cat is a difficult thing. The cat is

philosophical, metholodical, quiet animal, tenacious of it's own

habits, fond of order and cleanliness, and it does not lightly

confer its friendship. If you are worthy of its affection, a cat

will be your friend, but never your slave. He keeps his free will, though he loves, and he will not do for you what he thinks is unreasonable. But if he once gives himself to you it is with

absolute confidence and affection"-- Theophile Gautier, 1850

"It's very hard to be polite if you're a cat."

--Anonymous

"Unlike us, cats never outgrow their delight in cat capacities,

nor do they settle finally for limitations. Cats, I think, live

out their lives fulfilling their expectations."

--Irving Townsend

"Cats are absolute individuals, with their own ideas about

everything, including the people they own."

--John Dingman

"I am as vigilant as a cat to steal cream."

--William Shakespeare, Henry IV

"Most of us rather like our cats to have a streak of wickedness.

I should not feel quite easy in the company of any cat that

walked about the house with a saintly expression"

--Beverly Nichols

"Cats are the ultimate narcissists. You can tell this because

of all the time they spend on personal grooming.

Dogs aren't like this. A dog's idea of personal grooming is to

roll in a dead fish."

--James Gorman

"It is difficult to obtain the friendship of a cat. It is a

philosophical animal...one that does not place its affections

thoughtlessly."

--Theophile Gautier

"Cats sleep Anywhere, Any table, Any chair, Top of piano,

Window-ledge, In the middle, On the edge."

--Eleanor Farjeon

"A cat's got her own opinion of human beings.

She don't say much, but you can tell enough to make you

anxious not to hear the whole of it."

--Jerome K. Jerome

"Cats are connoisseurs of comfort."

--James Herriot

"Do our cats name us ? My former husband swore that Humphrey and

Dolly and Bean Blossom called me The Big Hamburger."

--Eleanora Walker

"The trouble with cats is that they've got no tact."

--P.G. Wodehouse

"The little furry buggers are just deep, deep wells you throw all

your emotions into."

--Bruce Schimmel

"Ye shall not possess any beast, my dear sisters, except only a

cat."

--The Ancren Riewle (Nun's Rule)

"When she walked...she stretched out long and thin like a little

tiger, and held her head high to look over the grass as if she

were treading the jungle."

--Sarah Orne Jewett

"Who can believe that there is no soul behind those luminous eyes!"

--Theophile Gautier

"When I play with my cat who knows whether I do not make her more

sport than she makes me?"

--Michel de Montaigne

"A man has to work so hard so that something of his personality

stays alive. A tomcat has it so easy, he has only to spray and

his presence is there for years on rainy days."

--Albert Einstein

"It is with the approach of winter that cats...wear their richest

fur and assume an air of sumptuous and delightful opulence."

--Pierre Loti

"There's no need for a piece of sculpture in a home that has a cat."

--Wesley Bates

"If a cat spoke, it would say things like, 'Hey, I don't see

the problem here.'"

--Roy Blount, Jr.

"The smart cat doesn't let on that he is."

--H. G. Frommer

"My cat does not talk as respectfully to me as I do to her."

--Colette

"Are cats lazy ? Well, more power to them if they are. Which one

of us has not entertained the dream of doing just as he likes,

when and how he likes, and as much as he likes?"

--Fernand Mery

"If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you;

but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is

warmer"

--Alfred North Whitehead

"Authors like cats because they are such quiet, lovable, wise

creatures, and cats like authors for the same reasons."

--Robertson Davies

"A dog knows his master, a cat does not"

--Eleasar B. Zadok

"The cat is the mirror of his human's mind the dog mirrors

his human's physical appearance."

--Winifred Carriere

Avoid dogs whenever you can. Remember... Cats are poetry in motion. Dogs are gibberish in neutral

By and large, people who enjoy teaching animals to roll over will

find themselves happier with a dog.

Barbara Holland

Cats always know whether people like or dislike them.

They do not always care enough to do anything about it.

Winifred Carriere

If a cat does something, we call it instinct; if we do the same

thing, for the same reason, we call it intelligence.

Will Cuppy

Meow is like aloha - it can mean anything.

Hank Ketchum

Two things are aesthetically perfect in the world - the clock

and the cat.

Emile Auguste Chartier

A cat pours his body on the floor like water. It is restful just

to see him.

William Lyon Phelps

The ideal of calm exists in a sitting cat.

Jules Reynard

Most beds sleep up to six cats. Ten cats without the owner.

Stephen Baker

Of all animals, he alone attains the Contemplative Life. He regards the wheel of existence from without, like the Buddha.

There is no pretense of sympathy about the cat. He lives alone, aloft, sublime, in a wise passiveness.

- ANDREW LANG

We cannot without becoming cats, perfectly understand the cat mind.

-- St. George Mivart, The Cat

Intelligence in the cat is underrated.

Louis Wain

Her function is to sit and be admired.

Georgina Strickland Gates

I believe cats to be spirits come to earth. A cat, I am sure,

could walk on a cloud without coming through.

Jules Verne

There is no more intrepid explorer than a kitten.

Jules Champfleury

If a cat did not put a firm paw down now and then,

how could his human remain possessed.

Winifred Carriere

One of the oldest human needs is having someone to wonder where

you are when you don't come home at night.

Margaret Mead

"To assume a cat's asleep is a grave mistake. He can close his

eyes and keep both his ears awake."-- Aileen Fisher

"Few animals display their mood via facial expressions as

distinctly as cats."-- Konrad Lorenz

"Nobody can truly own a cat."-- Old British Saying

In the image of Lions made He kittens small and curious.

"A cat is a lion in a jungle of small bushes."-- Indian saying

Cats can be very funny, and have the oddest ways of showing

they're glad to see you.

Rudimace always peed in our shoes. -- W.H. Auden

If you lose your job or your best friend, your cat

will think no less of you...

I have never known a cat that couldn't quiet me down

just by walking past my chair.

A kitten is the delight of the household. All day long,

comedy is played by an imcomparable actor.

There is nothing in the animal world, to my mind, more delightful than grown cats at play. They are so swift and light and graceful, so subtle and designing, and yet so richly comic.

Monica Edwards

A little drowsing cat is an image of perfect beatitude.

-- Champfleury

When it comes to knowing how to relax, cats are the original

yoga experts.

Patricia Curtis

Cats find malicious amusement in doing what they are not wanted

to do, and that with an affectation of innocence that materially

aggravates their deliberate offense.

Helen Winslow

It is easy to understand why the cat has eclipsed the dog as

modern America's favorite pet. People like pets to possess the

same qualities they do. Cats are irresponsible and recognize no

authority, yet are completely dependent on others for their

material needs. Cats cannot be made to do anything useful.

Cats are mean for the fun of it. In fact, cats possess so many

of the same qualities as people that is is often hard to tell the

people and the cats apart.

P. J. O'Rourke

Cats hate a closed door, you know, regardless of which side

they're on. If they're out, they want to get in, and if they're

in, they want to get out.

Lillian Jackson Braun

Cats, as a class, have never completely got over the snootiness

caused by the fact that in Ancient Egypt they were worshiped as

gods. This makes them prone to set themselves up as critics and

censors of the frail and erring human beings whose lot they share.

P. G. Wodehouse

When naming a cat, if one's imagination is totally at a loss,

start with a good encyclopedia. Look up the names of emperors,

empresses, kings, and queens. Cats, particularly male cats, like

very strong names which link them to majestic feats.

Auriel Douglas

Never ask a hungry cat whether he loves you for yourself alone.

Louis J. Camuti

Loneliness is comforted by the closeness and touch of fur to fur,

skin to skin, or--skin to fur.

Paul Gallico

Cats love one so much--more than they will allow. But they have

so much wisdom they keep it to themselves.

Mary E. Wilkins Freeman

The cat, it is well to remember, remains the friend of man

because it pleases him to do so and not because he must.

Carl Van Vechten

The cat always leaves a mark on his friend.

- Spanish Proverb

It is impossible for a lover of cats to banish these alert,

gentle, and discriminating little friends, who give us just

enough of their regard and complaisance to make us hunger for

more.

Agnes Repplier

When you're special to a cat, you're special indeed...she brings

to you the gift of her preference of you, the sight of you, the

sound of your voice, the touch of your hand.

Lenore Fleischer

The cat lives alone. He has no need of society. He obeys only

when he wishes, he pretends to sleep the better to see,

and scratches everything he can scratch.

Francois-Auguste Rene de Chateaubriand

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is

that a cat has only nine lives.

Mark Twain

Once cats were all wild, but afterward they retired to houses.

Edward Topsell

The only mystery about the cat is why it ever decided to become

a domestic animal.

Sir Compton Mackenzie

Cats, no less liquid than their shadows, offer no angles to the

wind. They slip, diminished, neat, through loopholes less than

themselves.

A.S.J. Tessimond

To respect a cat is the beginning of the aesthetic sense.

Erasmus Darwin

Cats are love on four legs.

Richard Torregrossa

Anyone who claims that a cat cannot give a dirty look

either has never kept a cat or is singularly unobservant.

Maurice Burton

I suspect that many an ailurophobe (a person who fears or hates

cats) hates cats only because he feels they are better people

than he is--more honest, more secure, more loved, more whatever

he is not.

Winifred Carriere

If you would know what a cat is thinking about, you must hold its

paw in your hand for a long time...

Jules Champfleury

Any cat who misses a mouse pretends it was aiming for the dead

leaf.

Charlotte Gray

If your cat falls out of a tree, go indoors to laugh.

Patricia Hitchcock

Cats only assume their strangest, most intriguing and most

beautiful postures when it is impossible to photograph them.

Cat calendars always disappoint for they only show the public

range of cat positions.

J. R. Coulson

A cat isn't fussy--just as long as you remember he likes his milk

in the shallow, rose-patterned saucer and his fish on the blue

plate. From which he will take it, and eat off the floor.

Arthur BridgesAesop

Kittens are wide-eyed, soft and sweet. With needles in their jaws

and feet.

Pam Brown

A cat who has taken umbrage is a terrible sight to see.

Rosemary Nisbet

To some blind souls all cats are much alike. To a cat lover

every cat from the beginning of time has been utterly and

amazingly unique.

Jenny De Vries

The really great thing about cats is their endless variety.

One can pick a cat to fit almost any kind of decor, income,

personality, mood. But under the fur, there still lies,

essentially unchanged, one of the world's free souls.

Eric Gurney

One small cat changes coming home to an empty house to coming

home.

Pam Brown

Only cat lovers know the luxury of fur-coated, musical hot water

bottles that never go cold.

Susanne Millen

There are people who reshape the world by force or argument,

but the cat just lies there, dozing, and the world quietly

reshapes itself to suit his comfort and convenience.

Allen and Ivy Dodd

He makes himself the companion of your hours of solitude,

melancholy and toil. He remains for whole evenings on your knee,

uttering his contented purr, happy to be with you,

and forsaking the company of animals of his own species.

Theophile Gautier

Places to look: behind the books in the bookshelf, any cupboard

with a gap too small for any cat to squeeze through, the top of

anything sheer, under anything too low for a cat to squash under

and inside the piano.

Roseanne Ambrose-Brown

Cats like doors left open, in case they change their minds.

Rosemary Nisbet

I love in the cat that independent and most ungrateful temper

which prevents it from attaching itself to anyone; the

indifference with which it passes from the salon to the housetop.

Francois Rene De Chateaubriand

For me, one of the pleasures of cats' company is their devotion

to bodily comfort.

Compton Mackenzie

The trouble with sharing one's bed with cats is that they'd

rather sleep on you than beside you.

Pam Brown

A cat allows you to sleep on the bed. On the edge.

Jenny De Vries

A cat refuses to be the object of sentimentality--if she

doesn't want to be cuddled, that's it.

Samantha Armstrong

All cats like being the focus of attention.

Peter Gray

People meeting for the first time suddenly relax if they find

they both have cats. And plunge into anecdote.

Charlotte Gray

Nobody who is not prepared to spoil cats will get from them the

reward they are able to give to those who do spoil them.

Compton Mackenzie

One day a cat will opt to join you while you are utterly relaxed

in muscle and brain, and with delicate miaow and a velvet paw

will show you transcendental meditation by an expert.

V. Martin

Even overweight cats instinctively know the cardinal rule:

when fat, arrange yourself in slim poses.

- John Weitz, American Designer

If a fish is the movement of water embodied, given shape,

then a cat is a diagram and pattern of subtle air.

Doris Lessing

After scolding one's cat one looks into its face and is seized

by the ugly suspicion that it understood every word. And has

filed it for reference.

Charlotte Gray

There is nothing so lowering to one's self-esteem as the

affectionate contempt of a beloved cat.

Monica Edwards

A dog will flatter you but you have to flatter the cat.

George Mikes

You can keep a dog; but it is the cat who keeps people,

because cats find humans useful domestic animals.

-- George Mikes from "How to be decadent"

You own a dog but you feed a cat.

Jenny De Vries

One is never sure, watching two cats washing each other,

whether it's affection, the taste or a trial run for the jugular.

Helen Thomson

A cat sees no good reason why it should obey another animal,

even if it does stand on two legs.

Sarah Thompson

Cats are kindly masters, just so long as you remember your place.

-- Paul Gray

A cat does not want all the world to love her--only those she has

chosen to love.

Helen Thomson

One must love a cat on its own terms.

Peter Gray

Cats are a tonic, they are a laugh, they are a cuddle, they are

at least pretty just about all of the time and beautiful some

of the time.

Roger Caras

Cats can work out mathematically the exact place to sit that

will cause the most inconvenience.

Pam Brown

Most cats enjoy kneading--digging their claws into rugs, fabrics

or human arms or legs. It exercises certain muscles, but I think

they do it for fun, too.

Lloyd Alexander

Cats have an infallible understanding of total concentration-

-and get between you and it.

Arthur Bridges

A kitten is so flexible that she is almost double; the hind parts

are equivalent to another kitten with which the forepart plays.

She does not discover that her tail belongs to her until you

tread on it.

Henry David Thoreau

Cats were put into the world to disprove the dogma that all

things were created to serve man.

Paul Gray

The cat has been described as the most perfect animal, the acme

of muscular perfection and the supreme example in the animal

kingdom of the co-ordination of mind and muscle.

Roseanne Ambrose-Brown

Poets generally love cats--because poets have no delusions about

their own superiority.

Marion Garretty

Everything a cat is and does physically is to me beautiful,

lovely, stimulating, soothing, attractive and an enchantment.

Paul Gallico

Rarely do you see a cat discomfited. They have no conscience, and

they never regret. Maybe we secretly envy them.

Barbara Webster

A cat is a regency gentleman--elegant of pose, exquisite of

manner, with spotless linen and an enthusiasm for bare knuckle

fights, rampaging love affairs, duels by moonlight and the

singing of glees. He expects immaculate service from his domestic

staff, and possesses a range of invective that would make a navy

blanch.

Pam Brown

We tie bright ribbons around their necks, and occasionally little

tinkling bells, and we affect to think that they are as sweet

and vapid as the coy name 'kitty' by which we call them would

imply. It is a curious illusion. For, purring beside our

fireplaces and pattering along our back fences, we have got a

wild beast as uncowered and uncorrupted as any under heaven.

Alan Devoe

I saw the most beautiful cat today. It was sitting by the side of

the road, its two front feet neatly and graciously together.

Then it gravely swished around its tail to completely and snugly

encircle itself. It was so fit and beautifully neat, that gesture, and so self-satisfied--so complacent.

Mary Morrow Lindbergh

As an inspiration to the author, I do not think the cat can be

over-estimated. He suggests so much grace, power, beauty, motion,

mysticism. I do not wonder that many writers love cats; I am only

surprised that all do not.

Carl Van Vechten

"May the great galactic kitten always purr you to sleep"

"It's really the cat's house--we just pay the mortgage"

Nancy Lebovitz

I simply can't resist a cat, particularly a purring one. They are

the cleanest, cunningest, and most intelligent things I know,

outside of the girl you love, of course.

- Abroad with Mark Twain and Eugene Field, Fisher

A home without a cat- and a well-fed, well-petted and properly

revered cat- may be a perfect home, perhaps, but how can it prove

title?

- Mark Twain (Pudd'nhead Wilson)

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.

-- Steven Wright

Once it has given its love, what absolute confidence, what

fidelity of affection! It will make itself the companion of

your hours of work, of loneliness, or of sadness. It will lie

the whole evening on your knee, purring and happy in your

society, and leaving the company of creatures of its own

society to be with you.

Theophile Gautier

What fun to be a cat!

Christopher Morley (American writer)

What sort of philosophers are we, who know absolutely nothing

of the origin and destiny of cats?

Henry David Thoreau

When I play with my cat, who knows whether

she is not amusing herself with me more than I with her?

Michel de Montaigne

Before a cat will condescend

To treat you as a trusted friend,

Some little token of esteem

Is needed, like a dish of cream.

--T. S. Eliot

I gave my cat a bath the other day ... they love it. He sat there,

he enjoyed it, it was fun for me. The fur would stick to my

tongue, but other than that ..

--Steve Martin

The cat who doesn't act finicky soon loses control of his owner.

--"Morris the Cat"

Garfield's Law: Cats instinctively know the precise moment their

owners will awaken ... then they awaken them ten minutes sooner.

--Jim Davis

The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited

breath.

--W. C. Fields

We have two cats. They're my wife's cats, Mischa and Alex. You can

tell a woman names a cat like this. Women always have sensitive

names: Muffy, Fluffy, Buffy. Guys name cats things like Tuna

Breath, Fur Face, Meow Head. They're nice cats. They've been

neutered and they've been declawed. So they're like pillows that

eat.

--Larry Reeb

I'm not one of those as can see the cat in the dairy and wonder

what she's there for.

--George Eliot.

Ignorant people think it s the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravation, but it ain’t so; its the sickening grammar they use.

--Mark Twain.

I purr, therefore I am.

~ Anonymous ~

"Our perfect companions never have fewer than four feet."-- Colette

"The cat is the animal to whom the Creator gave the biggest eye,

the softest fur, the most supremely delicate nostrils, a mobile

ear, an unrivalled paw and a curved claw borrowed from the

rose-tree."-- Colette

"What greater gift than the love of a cat?"-- Charles Dickens

"Of all the toys available, none is better designed than the owner

himself. A large multipurpose plaything, its parts can be made to

move in almost any direction. It comes completely assembled and

it makes a sound when you jump on it."-- Stephen Baker

"Any conditioned cat-hater can be won over by any cat who chooses

to make the effort."-- Paul Corey, "Do Cats Think? "

"If there was any petting to be done...he chose to do it. Often

he would sit looking at me, and then, moved by a delicate

affection, come and pull at my coat and sleeve until he could

touch my face with his nose, and then go away contented."

-- Charles Dudley Warner, "Calvin"

"A kitten is the rosebud in the garden of the animal kingdom."

-- Robert Southey

"Every cat is really the most beautiful woman in the room."

-- E.V. Lucas

"A dog is a dog, a bird is a bird, and a cat is a person."

-- Mugsy Peabody

"A dog is prose, a cat is a poem. "-- Jean Burden

"Dogs eat. Cats dine."-- Ann Taylor

"A cat is there when you call her - if she doesn't have something

better to do."-- Bill Adler

"I have found my love of cats most helpful in understanding women."

-- John Simon

"Cats are mysterious folk. There is more passing in their minds

than we are aware of."-- Sir Walter Scott

"When adressed, a gentleman cat does not move a muscle. He looks

as if he hasn't heard."-- Mary Sarton

"A cat is nobody's fool."-- Heywood Brown

"Woman, poets, and especially artists, like cats; delicate natures

only can realize their sensitive nervous systems."-- Helen M. Winslow

"I wish I could write as mysterious as a cat."-- Edgar Allan Poe

"Happy is the home with at least one cat."-- Italian Proverb

A cat in grass is a tiger in the jungle. - English

"The cat has nine lives: three for playing, three for straying,

three for staying."-- English Proverb

"Nothing's more determined than a cat on a hot tin roof..."

-- Tennessee Williams

"If you want to be a psychological novelist and write about human

beings, the best thing you can do is keep a pair of cats."

-- Aldous Huxley

"A cat is a tiger that is fed by hand."-- Vakaoka Genrin

"Cats will always lie soft."-- Theocrites

"Cats are always elegant."-- John Weitz

"Watch a cat when it enters a room for the first time. It searches

and smells about, it is not quiet for a moment, it trusts nothing

until it has examined and made acquaintance with everything."

-- Jean Jacques Rousseau

"If there is one spot of sun spilling onto the floor, a cat will

find it and soak it up."-- Jean Asper McIntosh

"When a man wants to murder a tiger, it's called sport. When the

tiger wants to murder him, it's called ferocity."-- George Bernard Shaw

"Those who will play with cats must expect to be scratched."-- Cervantes

In the night all cats are gray.

--Miguel de Cervantes:

"No man ever dared to manifest his boredom so insolently as does

a Siamese tomcat when he yawns in the face of his amorously

importunate wife."-- Aldous Huxley

"People with insufficient personalities are fond of cats. These

people adore being ignored."-- Henry Morgan

"Perhaps it is because cats do not live by human patterns, do not

fit themselves into prescribed behavior, that they are so united

to creative people."-- Andre Norton

"Always the cat remains a little beyond the limits we try to set

for him in our blind folly."-- Andre Norton

"It is a very inconvenient habit of kittens that, whatever you say

to them, they always purr."-- Lewis Carroll

"It has been the providence of Nature to give the cat nine lives

instead of one."-- Bidpai (circa 326 B.C.)

"Among human beings, a cat is merely a cat; among cats, a cat is a

prowling shadow in a jungle."-- Karel Capek

"But thousands die without or this or that,

Die, and endow a college or a cat."-- Alexander Pope

"It's an honor to paint cats."-- Oliver Johnson

"Every life should have nine cats."-- Anonymous

"The cat is a character of being; the dog, a character of doing."

-- Michael J. Rosen

"A cat can purr its way out of anything."-- Donna McCrohan

"When I'm discouraged, he's empathy incarnate, purring and rubbing

to telegraph his dismay."-- Catheryn Jakobson

"Cats invented self-esteem; there is not an insecure bone in their

body."-- Erma Bombeck

"Is it yet another survival of jungle instinct, this hiding away

from prying eyes at important times? Or merely a gesture of

independence, a challenge to man and his stupid ways?"-- Michael Joseph

"When my cats aren't happy, I'm not happy. Not because I care

about their mood but because I know they're just sitting there

thinking up ways to get even."-- Penny Ward Moser

"I wonder what goes through his mind when he sees us peeing in

his water bowl."-- Penny Ward Moser

"Artists like cats; soldiers like dogs."-- Desmond Morris

"He seems the incarnation of everything soft and silky and velvety, without a sharp edge in his composition, a dreamer whose

philosophy is sleep and let sleep"-- Saki

"The cat of the slums and alleys, starved, outcast, harried,...

still displays the self-reliant watchfulness which man has never

taught it to lay aside."-- Saki

"Cats are dogs with a college education"-- Grace Hodgson

"In nine lifetimes, you'll never know as much about your cat as

your cat knows about you."-- Michael Zullo

"In my house lives a cat who is a curmudgeon and cantankerous,

a cat who is charming and convivial, and a cat who is combative

and commendable. And yet I have but one cat."-- Dave Edwards

"Cats are endless opportunities for revelation."-- Leslie Kapp

"Cats come and go without ever leaving."-- Martha Curtis

"Everything comes to those who wait...except a cat."-- Marilyn Peterson

"The problem with cats is that they get the exact same look on

their face whether they see a moth or an ax-murderer."-- Paula Poundstone

"Cats are our last best chance to have a dysfunctional

relationship."-- John Bush

"In life there are two compensations---Prozac and cats."-- Brian Walsh

"All cats are possessed of a proud spirit, and the surest way to

forfeit the esteem of a cat is to treat him as an inferior being."

--Michael Joseph

"The cat is utterly sincere."-- Fernand Mery

"Cats must have three names--an everyday name, such as Peter;

a more particular, dignified name, such as Quaxo, Bombalurina,

or Jellylorum; and, thirdly, the name the cat thinks up for

himself, his deep and inscrutable singular Name."-- T.S. Eliot

"Cats are living adornments."-- Edwin Lent

"I will always remember the olive-eyed tabby who taught me that

not all relationships are meant to last a lifetime. Sometimes

just an hour is enough to touch your heart."-- Barbara L. Diamond

"A dog is like a liberal. He wants to please everybody. A cat

really doesn't need to know that everybody loves him."-- William Kunstler

"We quickly discovered that two kittens were much more fun than

one."-- Allen Lacy

"If you want to know the character of a man, find out what his cat

thinks of him."-- Anonymous

"No tame animal has lost less of its native dignity or maintained

more of its ancient reserve. The domestic cat might rebel

tomorrow."

--William Conway (Archbishop of Armagh)

"A cat is never vulgar."-- Carl Van Vechten

"Cats are only human, they have their faults."-- Kingsley Amis

"The way to keep a cat is to try to chase it away."-- E. W. Howe

"Sleeping together is a euphemism for people but tantamount to

marriage with cats."-- Marge Piercy

"It is in their eyes that their magic resides."-- Arthur Symons

"Cats are dangerous companions for writers because cat watching

is a near-perfect method of writing avoidance."-- Dan Greenburg

"If only cats grew into kittens."-- R. D. Stern

"No matter how tired or wretched I am, a pussycat sitting in a

doorway can divert my mind."-- Mary E. Wilkins Freeman

"If I called her she would pretend not to hear, but would come a

few moments later when it could appear that she had thought of

doing so first."-- Arthur Weigall

"Catnip is vodka and whiskey to most cats."-- Carl Van Vechten

"A pharaoh's profile, a Krishna's grace, tail like a question

mark."-- Louis MacNeice

"Like those great sphinxes lounging through eternity in noble

attitudes upon the desert sand, they gaze incuriously at nothing,

calm and wise."-- Charles Baudelaire

"A little lion, small and dainty sweet with sea-grey eyes and

softly stepping feet."-- Graham Tomson

"No workman can build a door which shall be proof against a cat

or a lover."-- French Saying

"It is in the nature of cats to do a certain amount of unescorted

roaming."-- Adlai Stevenson

'

"I had been told that the training procedure with cats was

difficult. It's not. Mine had me trained in two days."

-- Comedian Bill Dana

"When the cat's away, the mice will play."-- Folk Saying.

"Whenever the cat of the house is black, the lasses of lovers

will have no lack."-- Folk Saying

"The dog for the man, the cat for the woman."-- English Proverb

"Happy owner, happy cat. Indifferent owner, reclusive cat."-- Chinese Proverb

"A cat pent up becomes a lion."-- Italian Proverb

"A cat has nine lives. For three he plays, for three he strays,

and for the last three he stays."-- English/American Proverb

"A house without either a cat or a dog is the house of a scoundrel.

"-- Portuguese Proverb

"The cat was created when the lion sneezed."-- Arabian Proverb

"Curiosity killed the cat, Satisfaction brought it back!"

-- English Proverb

"A cat bitten once by a snake dreads even rope."-- Arabian Proverb

"Books and cats and fair-haired little girls make the best

furnishing for a room."-- French Proverb

"I gave an order to a cat, and the cat gave it to its tail."

-- Chinese Proverb

"Cats, flies and women are ever at their toilets."-- French Proverb

"In the middle of a world that has always been a bit mad, a cat

walks with confidence."-- Roseanne Amberson

"A cat can be trusted to purr when she is pleased, which is more

than can be said for human beings."-- William Ralph Inge (1860 - 1954)

"The fog comes on little cat feet."-- Carl Sandberg (1916)

"The Cat. He walked by himself, and all places were alike to him."

-- Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936)

"My cat knows the song in my heart and purrs it to me when my

memory fails."-- unknown

"In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance,

everyone should have a dog that will worship him

and a cat that will ignore him."

Dereke Bruce

"Cat's Motto:

No matter what you've done wrong,

always try to make it look like the dog did it."

Unknown

His friendship is not easily won but it is something worth having.

Michael Joseph

A cat is the only real love money can buy.

"If you can't remember how many cats you have, you don't have

enough" -- Unknown

"A cat sleeps fat yet walks thin." -- Fred Scwab

"Again I must remind you that a dog's a dog--a cat's a cat."

-- T.S. Eliot

"Some animals are secretive; some are shy. A cat is private."

-- Leonard Michaels

"It is better to feed one cat than many mice." -- Old Norwegian proverb

"...one of the ways in which cats show happiness is by sleeping."

-- Cleveland Amory

"One meets the cat in nearly all forms of art...curiously enough

she is not a conspicuous figure in Roman or Greek art."

-- Carl Van Vechten

"Everything that moves serves to interest and amuse a cat."

-- F.A. Paradis Moncrif

"Puss on the hearth with velvet paws, sits wiping o'er his

whiskered jaws." -- Erasmus Darwin

"Cats don't belong to people. They belong to places." -- Wright Morris

"And let me touch those curving claws of yellow ivory; and grasp

the tail that like a monstrous asp coils round your heavy velvet

paws." -- Oscar Wilde

"The cat is the only animal without visible means of support who

still manages to find a living in the city." -- Carl Van Vechten

"You may own a cat, but cannot govern one." -- Kate Sanborn

"Essentially, you do not so much teach your cat as bribe him."

-- Lynn Hollyn

"He possessed nothing in the world except a cat, which he carried

in his bosom, frequently caressing it, as his sole companion."

-- Jacobus Diaconus

"If stretching were wealth, the cat would be rich. "African Proverb

"Cats are such good friend's. They ask no questions and don't take

criticism." -- Edna Benson

"The cat has a nervous ear, that turns this way and that. And what

the cat may hear, is known but to the cat." -- David Morton

"The cat in gloves catches no mice."

-- Poor Richard's Almanac, Benjamin Franklin

"The mathematical probability of a common cat doing exactly as it

pleases is the one scientific absolute in the world." -- Lynn M. Osband

Don Addis:

Never play cat and mouse games if you're a mouse.

Lloyd Alexander:

Two cats can live as cheaply as one, and their owner has twice as

much fun.

Cleveland Amory:

Cats talk with their tails.

Michelle Argabrite:

I think my favorite thing in the house has to be the cat...

mainly because she's just like a big piece of noisy Velcro when

you toss her at the sofa.

Alan Ayckbourn:

Cats names are more for human benefit. They give one a certain

degree more confidence that the animal belongs to you.

Peggy Bacon:

I cannot exist without a catLife would not be worth living

without a cat.

Oswald Barron:

She knows that nine lives are enough.

Drew Barrymore:

If I die before my cat, I want a little of my ashes put in his

food so I can live inside him.

Margaret Benson:

A plate is distasteful to a cat, a newspaper still worse; they

like to eat sticky pieces of meat sitting on a cushioned chair

or a nice Persian rug.

Margaret Benson:

A cat must either have beauty and breeding, or it must have a

profession.

Ambrose Bierce:

Cat: a soft indestructible automaton provided by nature to be

kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle.

R. H. Blyth:

I myself think to have a cat is more important than to have a

Bible.

Elayne Boosler:

A man who was loved by 300 women singled me out to live with him.

Why? I was the only one without a cat.

Charles J. Brady:

The real measure of a day's heat is the length of a sleeping cat.

Edward Burlingame:

I love cats. I even think we have one at home.

Edward Burlingame:

There is something about the presence of a catthat seems to take

the bite out of being alone.

Karel Capek:

Quite obviously a cat trusts human beings; but she doesn't trust a cat because s

he knows her better than we do.

William H. A. Carr:

Cats are like greatness: Some people are born into cat-loving families, some achieve cats, and some have cats thrust upon them.

Few people are mugwumps about the cat.

Jacob Cats:

If one owns a pretty cat, it's best to avoid the furrier.

Jules Champfleury:

The love of dress is very marked in this attractive animal. He is proud of the lustre of his coat, and cannot endure that a hair of it shall lie the wrong way.

Chaucer:

Take a cat, nourish it well with milk

And tender meat, make it a couch of silk,

But let it see a mouse along the wall

And it abandones milk and meat and all.

Susy Clemens (daughter of author Mark Twain):

Momma loves morals and Papa loves cats.

Nelson A. Crawford:

The cat lives his own life; he expects you to live yours.

Patricia Dale-Green:

There is one way in which cats differ from all other animals and that is in the effect they have on human beings.

Bernos de Gasztold:

Wouldn't You like someday

To put a curse on the whole race of dogs?

If so, I should say, Amen.

I love cats, I adore cats, and may be forgiven for putting one in

the sky after sixty years of hard work.

-- J. J. L. de Lalande On his efforts to launch a cat into space

T. S. Eliot:

When a Cat adopts you there is nothing to be done about it except to put up with it until the wind changes.

Lee Entrekin:

Nature abhors a vacuum, but not as much as cats do.

Anthony Henderson Euwer:

Some cats are blind and stone deaf but ain't no cat wuz ever dumb.

Frangois Fossier:

Cats are forever.

Thomas Fuller:

Nothing's more playful than a young cat, nor more grave than an old one.

I think of a woman as something like myself.

-- Paul Gallico translating from cat language

Theophile Gautier:

The cat is a dilettante in fur.

Dynasties of cats, as numerous as the dynasties of the Pharaohs,

succeed each other under my roof The memory of the cats we

have lost fades like the memory of men.

Sometimes he sits at your feet looking into your face with an expression so gentle.

Delphine Gay:

The catlike man is one upon whom no tricks can be played with success.

Alberto Giacometti when asked which of his creations he would rescue from a fire:

It depends on what is in my house. If there was a cat, and my works, I would save the cat. A cat's life is more important than art.

Gilbert Gude:

Maybe in the future we should add one more question to those we ask of presidential candidates we should ask them where they stand on cats. Better still, we should demand to see the cats these candidates say they have raised, just to make sure we are not having the fur pulled over our eyes.

Elizabeth Hamilton:

Which is the more beautiful, feline movement or feline stillness?

Gail Hamilton:

What's virtue in a man can't be virtue in a cat.

If left to their own devices, felines tend to nap and nibble throughout the day and night, scarcely differentiating between the two.

J. K. Huysmans:

In the matter of animals I love only cats, but I love them unreasonably for their qualities and in spite of their numerous faults. I have only one, but I could not live without a cat.

Lesley Anne Ivory:

Cats are glorious creatures who must on no accounts be underestimated...

their eyes are fathomless depths of cat-world mysteries.

David James:

After extensive research, I have determined that cats do have nine lives.

But this has made for some awkward moments on the autopsy table since you can never really tell which life is nine.

Lillian Johnson:

Some people say man is the most dangerous animal on the planet.

Obviously those people have never met an angry cat.

Rob Kopack:

If cats could talk, they would lie to you.

Dilys Laing:

I put down my book, The Meaning of Zen, and see the cat smiling into her fur as she delicately combs it with her rough pink tongue. Cat, I would lend you this book to study but it appears you have already read it. She looks up and gives me her full gaze. Don't be ridiculous, she purrs, I wrote it.

Jay Leno:

I've never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they never listen, they don't come in when you call, they like to stay out and when they're home they like to be left alone and sleep. In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.

Paul Leyhausen:

Friendship between cats can exist, but more or less in the same way that it can exist for a not very sociable man who spends his time in provoking others and who, when asked why he does not have any friends, replies: "I would like to have them but they are so ignoble!"

If a cat is creeping up on prey and realizes that another cat is

watching, it will straighten up and act disinterested.

I care not for a man's religion whose dog or cat is not the better

for it.

- ABRAHAM LINCOLN

Sharon Lundblad:

A cat is a very special friend who comes into your life. When it comes it brings warmth, companionship, contentment and love. Whether it's long-haired, short-haired, pedigreed or "heinz" makes no difference.

A cat, though independent, has a way of letting you know that without you life just wouldn't be worthwhile.

If you're lucky enough to own a cat consider yourself one of life's winners because when you have a cat around you'll never be lonely; the sound of it's purr will give you comfort, and as you hold it and pet it, stress will slip away.

John D. MacDonald:

If a cat can detect no self-advantage in what it is being told to do, it says the hell with it, and, if pressure is brought to bear, it will grow increasingly surly and irritable to the point where it is hopeless to continue.

Groucho Marx:

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is

going somewhere.

James Mason:

Cats do not have to be show how to have a good time, for they are

unfailing ingenious in that respect.

Rod McKuen:

There has never been a cat

Who couldn't calm me down

By walking slowly

Past my chair

Harold Monro:

When the tea is brought at five o'clock

And all the neat curtains are drawn with care,

The little black cat with bright green eyes

Is suddenly purring there.

Ogden Nash:

The trouble with a kitten is that,

Eventually....it becomes a cat!

Dave Platt:

Managing senior programmers is like herding cats.

William Shakespeare:

A harmless, necessary cat.

John Simon:

I have found my love of cats most helpful in understanding women.

Robert Southey:

Ah! Little do you know how swiftly fly

The venomed darts of feline jealousy.

Gladys Tabor:

When cat people get together they are as single-minded as vegetarians, or kelp and soybean addicts. For they can talk for hours about what their cats will and will not eat. Once you meet a cat lover you will pursue his or her cat's food predilections endlessly.

Jane Taylor:

I like little Pussy, her coat is so warm,

And if I don't hurt her she'll do me no harm.

Dr. Edward Lee Thorndike:

Never will you get a better psychological subject than a hungry cat.

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.

--Helen Thomson

John Updike:

A computer and a cat are somewhat alike -- they both purr, and like to be stroked, and spend a lot of the day motionless. They also have secrets they don't necessarily share.

Cynthia E. Varnado:

It is impossible to keep a straight face in the presence of one or more kittens.

Carl van Vechten:

A cat will sit washing his face within two inches of a dog in the most frantic state of barking rage, if the dog be chained.

The cat seldom interferes with other people's rights. His intelligence keeps him from doing many of the fool things that complicate life.

Robert J. Vogel:

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend.

Louis Wain:

I have myself found, the result of many years enquiry and study,

that all people who keep cats do not suffer from those petty ailments which all flesh is heir to.

Deng Xiaoping:

I don't care what color the cat is, as long as it catches the rat.

A cat is a lion to a mouse. - Albanian Proverb

All cats love fish but fear to wet their paws. - Chinese

Those who dislike cats will be carried to the cemetery in the rain.

- Dutch

An overdressed woman is like a cat dressed in saffron. - Egyptian

Handsome cats and fat dungheaps are the sign of a good farmer - French

If cats had wings there would be no ducks in the lake. - Indian

That cat that has its mouth burned by drinking hot milk will not drink even buttermilk without first blowing upon it. - Indian

When the cat and mouse agree, the grocer is ruined. - Persian

It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands - Sanish

If you take even one of a cat's nine lives, it will haunt you forever.

My husband said it was him or the cat. I miss him sometimes.

Curiosity was framed. Ignorance killed the cat.

Never feed your cat anything that doesn't match the carpet.

Or as Schrodinger's wife once said, "What did you do to the cat? It looks half dead."

The visionary chooses a cat; the man of concrete a dog. Hamlet

must have kept a cat. Platonists, or cat lovers, include sailors,

painters, poets, and pickpockets. Aristotelians, or dog lovers, include soldiers, football players, and burglars.

Free to a good home - female cat or husband.

Husband says either he goes or cat goes.

Cat fixed, husband isn't.

- Ad in the Flint, Michigan Weekly World News

Don't use cats - they'll screw up your data.

- Anonymous science professor to student

Froward women were made from cats, just as most virtuous, industrious matroms were developed from beer.

I would have in my house - a reasonable woman - a cat moving among

the books.

Of all the creatures in the world, cats an' women has the hardest time.

If to her share some feline errors fall,

Look in her face, and you'll forgive them all.

Here lies a pretty cat:

Its mistress, who never loved anyone,

Loved it madly;

Why bother to say so? Everyone can see it.

- Epitaph on tombstone of cat, with full-relief detail of the deceased

Outside of a cat, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a cat,

it's too dark to read.

- Robert Ericson, Lilac Hedge Bookshop, Norwich, VT

LAW OF CAT INERTIA -

A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force, such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.

LAW OF CAT MOTION -

A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction.

LAW OF PILL REJECTION -

Any pill given to a cat has potential energy to reach escape velocity.

Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time.

You know when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat?" Just once I want to say, "No, it's for company!"

As I am delivering seven plates of breakfast to the two dogs and five cats at their various eating stations all over our three-story house, I usually just say quite honestly, "Hi, my name is Melissa and I will be your waitress for the day."

- MELISSA McIVOR

A drowsy winter evening is never quite drowsy enough without a sleeping cat.

- Author Unknown

If a cat has decided to love you, there's not a great deal you can do about it.

- Author Unknown

Cats allow us to love them, for which we should be duly grateful.

- Author Unknown

You don't train cats, they train you.

- Author Unknown

A dog is a dog, a bird is a bird, a cat is a person.

- Author Unknown

Cats could have ruled the universe but couldn't be bothered.

- Author Unknown

Cat food manufacturers haven't yet cottoned on to the fact that what cats really like is bolognaise sauce, cheese, ice-cream, potato crisps and anything Cordon Bleu.

- Author Unknown

Given a house full of carpets, shelves, cushions, chairs, window sills, any cat will choose to sleep on the document you are using.

- Author Unknown

The ultimate dream of a cat: food that will pet you while you're

eating it.

- RICHARD L. SUMMER

In Istanbul I met a man who said he knew beyond a doubt that God was a cat. I asked why he was so sure, and the man said, "When I pray to him, he ignores me."

- LOWELL THOMAS

A cat has nine lives and nine souls, and it must have nine guardian angels watching over it. Which would explain why the little fellow is so smug.

- KAREN FIELDS-HUTTON

When cats die, they pass through the Purrrrly Gates.

- CATWOMAN

God allows cats into Heaven just so He can keep an eye on them.

- DIXIE CARTER

Some say cats are devils, but they behave badly only when they are alone. When they are among us, cats are angels.

- GEORGE SAND

If you gave wings to a cat, it would not condescend to be a bird.

It would be an angel.

- DICK SHAWN

Peter said, "There is one thing I know'st, among cat angels highest and low'st. They arrive, don their wings, then of all wicked things, They use my Gates as their new scratching post!"

- St. Peter's Lament

Cat angels are the reason there are no mice angels.

- MEL BROOKS

A cat will assume the shape of its container.

- Author Unknown

If you want the best seat in the house, move the cat.

- Author Unknown

My dog thinks he's human.. My cat thinks he's GOD!

- Author Unknown

One fact that never remains hidden from cats is the sentiment a person holds towards them.

- Author Unknown

If we could talk to the animals, the longest waiting line would be for the cat.

- Author Unknown

Cats make their demands with such cunning that we respond to them as if they had made polite requests

- Author Unknown

Cats regard humans as warm-blooded furniture.

- Author Unknown

A cat is an attitude with fur.

- Author Unknown

He shut his eyes while Saha ]the cat] kept vigil, watching all the invisible signs that hover over sleeping human beings when the lights are put out.

- COLETTE

Until one has loved an animal, part of one's soul remains unawakened.

- ANATOLE FRANCE

A true cat lover cradles a new kitten and knows that nine lives will never be nearly enough...

- Author Unknown

Heaven ... would have to be a place lined with cat bellies.

- L. F. HOFFMAN

Cats don't mind sharing the bed with fellow cats, as long as the area is equitably divided among them. Usually there is room for everyone on a first-come-first-served basis - under the blanket, on top of the blanket, on the pillow, under the pillow, at the head of the bed, at the foot of the bed, in that order. Any space left over goes to the owner.

- STEPHEN BAKER

. . . Cats only occupy space and think about three things: food, sex and nothing. If they're neutered that leaves food.

- PENNY WARD MOSER

Cats do care: For example, they know instinctively what time we have to

be at work in the morning and they wake us up twenty minutes before the

alarm goes off.

- MICHAEL NELSON

You are asleep. Deep, deep asleep - and then the world caves in. The cat has leapt from the top window onto your stomach. He is saturated. He is hungry. He taps you into full wakefulness with a sodden paw "Could you open a can?"

- PAM BROWN

A cat likes to hear you calling him. He sits in a bush a yard from

your shoes - and listens.

- PAM BROWN

You can feel an awful fool standing at the bottom of the garden yelling pussy, pussy, pussy across a totally deserted meadow. Especially when you realise that pussy, pussy, pussy is watching you, with benign interest, from the shelter of the garden shed.

- MARCIA FISCHER

We have a cat that doesn't even bother to run after mice. She just lies around waiting for the gold-fish bowl to break.

- from "LAUGH-A-MINUTE"

Cats have led us every step of the way. Teaching us the importance of unconditional love, and the value of a really good afternoon nap.

- Author Unknown

A kitten is infinitely more amusing than half the people one is obliged to live with in the world.

- LADY MORGAN

The cat does not negotiate with the mouse.

- ROBERT K. MASSIE

It's said in publishing that no cat book ever loses money. Maybe it's true: bibliophiles tend to be ailurophiles, and both are tenacious breeds.

- EMILY TOTH

Although all cat games have their rules and rituals, these vary with the individual player. The cat, of course, never breaks a rule. If it does not follow precedent, that simply means it has created a new rule and it is up to you to learn it quickly if you want the game to continue.

- SIDNEY DENHAM

A cat's rage is beautiful, burning with pure cat flame, all its hair standing up and crackling blue sparks, eyes blazing and sputtering.

- WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS

A cat may look at a king.

- ENGLISH PROVERB

I am indebted to the species of the cat for a particular kind of

honorable deceit, for a great control over myself, for a

characteristic aversion to brutal sounds, and for the need to keep

silent for long period of time.

Our perfect companions never have fewer than four feet.

- COLETTE

It always gives me a shiver when I see a cat seeing what I can't see.

- ELEANOR FARJEON

Even if you have just destroyed a Ming vase, purr.

Usually all will be forgiven.

- LENNY RUBENSTEIN

Because his long white whiskers tickled, I began every day laughing.

- JANET F. FAURE

A catless writer is almost inconceivable. It's a perverse taste,

really, since it would be easier to write with a herd of buffalo in the room than even one cat; they make nests in the notes and bite the end of the pen and walk on the typewriter keys.

- BARBARA HOLLAND

Sure, it's clean laundry. The cat's sleeping on it, isn't he?

- Author Unknown

To a cat,"NO!" means "Not while I'm looking."

- Author Unknown

Anything not nailed down is a cat toy.

- Author Unknown

The difference between a cat and a dog is that a cat can bark .... and doesn't.

- Author Unknown

When dogs leap onto your bed it's because they adore being close to you. When cats leap onto your bed it's because they adore your bed.

-- Alisha Everett

If you call a cat and it comes running, what you have is a dog.

- Author Unknown

Dogs teach you how to love. Cats teach you how to live.

- Author Unknown

And thou shall have dominion over all the beasts... except, of course, for cats.

- Felines: 4 - 17

My husband said it was him or the cat ... I miss him sometimes.

- Author Unknown

Even ugly cats are cute.

- G. PHILLIPS

A home without cats is like a garden without flowers.

- Author Unknown

If it's not tied down, it's a cat toy.

- Author Unknown

Cats love cat haters because cat haters don't pick them up and talk baby talk to them as they cuddle, pet, and squeeze the life out of them. Cats particularly like people who are to them because then they can rub against their legs without being bothered. Don't bother to pretend you like cats to keep them away; they can tell.

- ANDREW FROTHINGHAM & TRIPP EVANS

The cat lets Man support her. But unlike the dog, she is no handlicker. Further more, unlike Man's other great good friend the horse, the cat is no sweating serf of Man. The only labor she condescends to perform is to catch mice and rats, and that's fun.

- VANCE PACKARD

When it comes to the advantages of cats versus dogs as pets, there is no competition. Try going away for a weekend, leaving your German Shepherd alone with a bowl of dry food, some water, and a litter box...

- ROBERT STEARNS

Dogs will drop everything and come when you call. Cats check their schedule and fit you in.

- Author Unknown

No outfit is complete without cat hair.

- Author Unknown

" 'All right,' said the Cat; and this time it vanished quite slowly, beginning with the end of the tail, and ending with the grin, which remained some time after the rest of it had gone."

--Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland

"Any conditioned cat-hater can be won over by any cat who chooses to make the effort." --Paul Corey, Do Cats Think?

...the only identification that would be inscribed on any cat's collar would be 'This is the cat's cat.'

--Elmer Davis, On Being Kept by a Cat

If you want to know what a tiger is like, look at a cat. --Hindu proverb

The cat's a saint when there are no mice about. --Japanese proverb

"For every house is incompleat without him, and a blessing is lacking in the spirit." --Christopher Smart - English poet

"If there was any petting to be done...he chose to do it. Often he would

sit looking at me, and then, moved by a delicate affection, come and pull at my coat and sleeve until he could touch my face with his nose, and then go away contented.

" --Charles Dudley Warner, "Calvin"

"I wish you could see the two cats drowsing side by side in a Victorian nursing chair, their paws, their ears, their tails complementally adjusted, their blue eyes blinking open on a single thought of when I shall remember it's their supper time. They might have been composed by Bach for two flutes."

--Sylvia Townsend Warner - English writer

Lloyd Alexander:

Two cats can live as cheaply as one, and their owner has twice as

much fun.

Cleveland Amory:

Cats talk with their tails.

Matthew Arnold:

Cruel, but composed and bland,

Dumb, inscrutable and grand,

So Tiberius might have sat,

Had Tiberius been a cat.

Alan Ayckbourn:

Cats names are more for human benefit. They give one a certain degree more confidence that the animal belongs to you.

Peggy Bacon:

I cannot exist without a catLife would not be worth living without a cat.

Oswald Barron:

She knows that nine lives are enough.

Drew Barrymore:

If I die before my cat, I want a little of my ashes put in his food so I can live inside him.

Charles Baudelaire:

Both ardent lovers and austere scholars, when once they come to the years of discretion, love cats, so strong and gentle, the pride of the household, who like them are sensitive to the cold, and sedentary.

Margaret Benson:

A plate is distasteful to a cat, a newspaper still worse; they like to eat sticky pieces of meat sitting on a cushioned chair or a nice Persian rug.

A cat must either have beauty and breeding, or it must have a

profession.

Ambrose Bierce:

Cat: a soft indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle.

R. H. Blyth:

I myself think to have a cat is more important than to have a Bible.

Elayne Boosler:

A man who was loved by 300 women singled me out to live with him. Why? I was the only one without a cat.

Charles J. Brady:

The real measure of a day's heat is the length of a sleeping cat.

Edward Burlingame:

I love cats. I even think we have one at home.

There is something about the presence of a catthat seems to take the bite out of being alone.

Karel Capek:

Quite obviously a cat trusts human beings; but she doesn't trust a cat because she knows her better than we do.

William H. A. Carr:

Cats are like greatness: Some people are born into cat-loving families, some achieve cats, and some have cats thrust upon them.

Jacob Cats:

If one owns a pretty cat, it's best to avoid the furrier.

Jules Champfleury:

The love of dress is very marked in this attractive animal. He is proud of the lustre of his coat, and cannot endure that a hair of it shall lie the wrong way.

Chaucer:

Take a cat, nourish it well with milk

And tender meat, make it a couch of silk,

But let it see a mouse along the wall

And it abandones milk and meat and all.

Susy Clemens (daughter of author Mark Twain):

Momma loves morals and Papa loves cats.

I am indebted to the species of the cat for a particular kind of

honorable deceit, for a great control over myself, for a characteristic

aversion to brutal sounds, and for the need to keep silent for long

period of time.

Our perfect companions never have fewer than four feet.

William Cowper:

A poet's cat, sedate and grave

As a poet well could wish to have...

Nelson A. Crawford:

The cat lives his own life; he expects you to live yours.

Patricia Dale-Green:

There is one way in which cats differ from all other animals and that is in the effect they have on human beings.

Bernos de Gasztold:

Wouldn't You like someday

To put a curse on the whole race of dogs?

If so, I should say, Amen.

Mary Abigail Dodge:

What's virtue in a man can't be vice in a cat.

T. S. Eliot:

When a Cat adopts you there is nothing to be done about it except to put up with it until the wind changes.

Ebenezer Elliott:

If 'twere not for my cat and dog, I think I could not live.

Lee Entrekin:

Nature abhors a vacuum, but not as much as cats do.

Anthony Henderson Euwer:

Some cats are blind and stone deaf but ain't no cat wuz ever dumb.

Frangois Fossier:

Cats are forever.

Thomas Fuller:

Nothing's more playful than a young cat, nor more grave than an old one.

Theophile Gautier:

The cat is a dilettante in fur.

Delphine Gay:

The catlike man is one upon whom no tricks can be played with success.

Elizabeth Hamilton:

Which is the more beautiful, feline movement or feline stillness?

Gail Hamilton:

What's virtue in a man can't be virtue in a cat.

Lynn Hollyn:

Essentially, you do not so much teach your cat as bribe him.

If left to their own devices, felines tend to nap and nibble throughout the day and night, scarcely differentiating between the two.

J. K. Huysmans:

In the matter of animals I love only cats, but I love them unreasonably for their qualities and in spite of their numerous faults. I have only one, but I could not live without a cat.

Lesley Anne Ivory:

Cats are glorious creatures who must on no accounts be underestimated...

Their eyes are fathomless depths of cat-world mysteries.

Andrew Lang:

Of all animals, the cat alone attains to the comtemplative life. He regards the wheel of existence from without, like the Buddha.

Sharon Lundblad:

A cat is a very special friend who comes into your life. When it comes it brings warmth, companionship, contentment and love. Whether it's long-haired, short-haired, pedigreed or "heinz" makes no difference. A cat, though independent, has a way of letting you know that without you life just wouldn't be worthwhile.

If you're lucky enough to own a cat consider yourself one of life's winners because when you have a cat around you'll never be lonely; the sound of its purr will give you comfort, and as you hold it and pet it, stress will slip away.

Groucho Marx:

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going

somewhere.

James Mason:

Cats do not have to be show how to have a good time, for they are

unfailing ingenious in that respect.

Lady Sydney Morgan:

The playful kitten with its pretty little tigerish gambole is infinitely more amusing than half the people one is obliged to live with in the world.

Ogden Nash:

The trouble with a kitten is that,

Eventually....it becomes a cat!

P. J. O'Rourke:

Cats are to dogs what modern people are to the people we used to have.

Cats are slimmer, cleaner, more attractive, disloyal, and lazy. Cats are irresponsible and recognize no authority, yet are completely dependent on others for their material needs. Cats cannot be made to do anything useful. Cats are mean for the fun of it. In fact, cats possess many of the same qualities as some people (expensive girlfriends, for instance) that it's often hard to tell the people and the cats apart.

Hank Roll:

If cats seem distant and aloof it is because this is not their native planet - they are here just to visit and dominate.

William Shakespeare:

A harmless, necessary cat.

John Simon:

I have found my love of cats most helpful in understanding women.

Robert Southey:

Ah! Little do you know how swiftly fly

The venomed darts of feline jealousy.

Jane Taylor:

I like little Pussy, her coat is so warm,

And if I don't hurt her she'll do me no harm.

John Updike:

A computer and a cat are somewhat alike -- they both purr, and like to be stroked, and spend a lot of the day motionless. They also have secrets they don't necessarily share.

Cynthia E. Varnado:

It is impossible to keep a straight face in the presence of one or more kittens.

Carl van Vechten:

A cat will sit washing his face within two inches of a dog in the most frantic state of barking rage, if the dog be chained.

The cat seldom interferes with other people's rights. His intelligence keeps him from doing many of the fool things that complicate life.

Jules Verne:

I believe cats to be spirits come to earth. A cat, I am sure, could walk on a cloud without coming through.

Deng Xiaoping:

I don't care what color the cat is, as long as it catches the rat.

All cats love fish but fear to wet their paws. - Chinese

An overdressed woman is like a cat dressed in saffron. - Egyptian

Handsome cats and fat dungheaps are the sign of a good farmer - French

If cats had wings there would be no ducks in the lake. - Indian

That cat that has its mouth burned by drinking hot milk will not drink even buttermilk without first blowing upon it. - Indian

When the cat and mouse agree, the grocer is ruined. - Persian

It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. --Spanish

If you take even one of a cat's nine lives, it will haunt you forever.

My husband said it was him or the cat. I miss him sometimes.

Curiosity was framed. Ignorance killed the cat.

Never feed your cat anything that doesn't match the carpet.

Or as Schrodinger's wife once said, "What did you do to the cat? It looks half dead."

Free to a good home - female cat or husband.

Husband says either he goes or cat goes.

Cat fixed, husband isn't.

- Ad in the Flint, Michigan Weekly World News

Don't use cats - they'll screw up your data.

- Anonymous science professor to student

Froward women were made from cats, just as most virtuous, industrious matrons were developed from beer.

I would have in my house - a reasonable woman - a cat moving among

the books.

Of all the creatures in the world, cats an' women has the hardest time.

If to her share some feline errors fall,

Look in her face, and you'll forgive them all.

Here lies a pretty cat:

Its mistress, who never loved anyone,

Loved it madly;

Why bother to say so? Everyone can see it.

- Epitaph on tombstone of cat, with full-relief detail of the deceased

Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time.

You know when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat?" Just once I want to say, "No, it's for company!"

It's always blackest just before you step on the cat. Unknown

The cat stands alone, distinct outindividualizing every individual. A Ship of Solace.

My husband said it was him or the cat ... I miss him sometimes.

Cats may sense early on that you don't like paw prints on your butter, but they will jump onto any surface in the home as long as no one sees it happen. --Kathy Young

Apparently, through scientific research, it has been determined that a cat's affection gland is stimulated by snoring, thus explaining my cat's uncontrollable urge to rub against my face at 2 a.m.

--Terri L. Haney

Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives. Unknown

Cats can derive their nutrition from the air they breathe until you get the message that the Fish Fin Buffet you put in their bowl three days ago will never be acceptable. Kathy Young

It's always blackest just before you step on the cat. Unknown

If human, cats might play solitare, but they would never sit around with the gang and a few six-packs watching Monday Night Football.

Time Magazine, Dec.7, 1981

A mouse in the paws is worth two in the pantry. Louis Wain

We have a friend who hates cats. Every time he comes to the house the cat sits on his knee. Unknown

Cats know how we feel; they just don't give a damn. Unknown

Okay, cats will never bring you pictures they've drawn in school, but they may give you a dead mouse. What parent could resist that gift?

--Terri L. Haney

A cat knows you are the key to his happiness... a man thinks he is.

-- Unknown

A cat stretches from one end of my childhood to the other.

-- Blaga Dimitrova

Cats never feel threatened. They are genetically incapable of accepting that anyone could possibly dislike anything as perfect as a cat.

-- Kathy Young

All you have to remember is Rule 1: When in doubt - Wash.

-- Paul Gallico

Cats always seem so very wise, when staring with their half-closed eyes.

Can they be thinking, I'll be nice, and maybe she will feed me twice?

-- Bette Midler

Cats always land on their feet. Dogs won't even let you throw them.

-- Unknown

A cat will wait until you've read your morning paper before tearing it to shreds. -- Unknown

Does the father figure in your cat's life ever clean the litter box? My husband claims that men lack the scooping gene.

-- Barbara L. Diamond

While you might see a cat on a hot tin roof, a dog on a hot tin roof would be yowling its head off. Dr. Bruce Fogle

If you put down food and the cat eats, it's hungry. If it doesn't,

it isn't. -- Larry Madrid

You must set down all the rules to your cat at the beginning of your relationship. You cannot add rules as you go along. Once these rules are set, you must never, under any circumstances, break any of them. Dare to break a rule, and you will never live it down. Trust me.

-- Kathy Young

Cats are just little hair factories. James Davis, D.V.M.

If you can remember how many cats you have, you don't have enough.

-- Unknown

Cats don't bark and act brave when they see something small in fur or feathers, they kill it. Dogs tend to bravado. They're braggarts. In the great evolutionary drama the dog is Sergeant Bilko, the cat is Rambo. -- James Gorman

Never underestimate the power of a purr. Anonymous

All of the people in my building are insane. The guy above me designs synthetic hairballs for ceramic cats. Steven Wright

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles.

-- Steven Wright

The difference between a cat and a dog: A dog thinks: They feed me, they shelter me, they love me, they must be gods. A cat thinks: They feed me, they shelter me, they love me, I must be GOD. Unknown

Cat lovers can readily be identified. Their clothes always look old and well used. Their sheets look like bath towels, and their bath towels look a collection of knitting mistakes.

-- Eric Gurney

As a fan, I'm distraught, but as a cartoonist looking at new vacant spaces in 2,400 newspapers, well, behind me, my cats are dancing a conga line.

-- Scott Adams, Dilbert's creator, on the ending of Calvin & Hobbes

How do cats decide when to jump suddenly up from where they were sitting comfortably curled up and dash madly around the room, knocking over everything they encounter? Fuzzy logic. Andrew Koenig

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.

-- Benjamin Franklin

Do not allow long hair black cats to sleep atop laser printers and tape drives. The black hair is almost invisible in black pattens, gears, and rollers. -- Jeff Liebermann

Last year a team of scientists published the results of an extensive study of cat language. They determined that although cats may demonstrate a wide variety of vocalizations, they actually only have two phrases that are translatable into human terms: 1. Hurry up with that food. 2. Everything here is mine. Unknown

Men and dogs will never understand what a woman sees in a cat. Anonymous

Cats do not think that they are little people. They think that we are big cats. This influences their behavior in many ways. Unknown

When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.

-- Rodney Dangerfield

The only self-cleaning thing in this kitchen is the cat. Unknown

I have an Egyptian cat. He leaves a pyramid in every room.

-- Rodney Dangerfield

Cats don't kill birds.

They just play with 'em 'til they die. --Unknown

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