How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You - …

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How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You

Leil Lowndes

CONTEMPORARY BOOKS A TRIBUNE COMPANY

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Lowndes, Leil.

How to make anyone fall in love with you / Leil Lowndes.

p. cm.

Includes bibliographical references and index.

ISBN 0-8092-3211-1

1. Love. 2. Man-woman relationships. 3. Intimacy

(Psychology) 4. Sexual excitement. I. Title.

HQ801.L69 1996

306.7--dc20

96-14502

CIP

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Jacket design by Scott Rattray Interior design by Mary Lockwood

Excerpt from Obsession: Copyright ? 1995 by Debra McCarthy-Anderson and Carol Bruce-Thomas. All rights reserved. Reproduced with the permission of the publisher, Harlequin Books S.A.

Copyright ? 1996 by Leil Lowndes All rights reserved Published by Contemporary Books An imprint of NTC/Contemporary Publishing Company Two Prudential Plaza, Chicago, Illinois 60601-6790 Manufactured in the United States of America International Standard Book Number: 0-8092-3211-1 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

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To fulfill the promise of the title, How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You offers 85 techniques based on scientific studies into the nature of romantic love.

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CONTENTS

1

1

Anyone? Yes, Practically Anyone

Science "Discovers" Sex

2

How More Research Was Compiled

4

How the Techniques Were Developed

5

How I Tested the Techniques

7

2

9

What Makes People Fall in Love? The Six Elements

What Makes People Fall in Love? The Six Elements

I. First Impressions II. Similar Character, Complementary Needs III. Equity IV. Ego V. Early-Date Gender-Menders VI. Rx for Sex

3 The Physical Side of Falling in Love

"Why Do My Insides Go All Funny?" "Does Somebody Have to Be Pea-Brained to Fall in Love with Me?" "Why Do We Fall in Love with One Person and Not Another?" "How Can These Little Things Start Love?"

4 Where Are All the Good Men and Women?

Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places

5 Does Love at First Sight Exist? Part One: First Impressions You Never Get a Second Chance at Love at First Sight 6 How to Make a Dynamite First Impression

First Impressions Last Forever

9 10 11 12 13 14 17 17 17 18 19

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23 23 25

29 29

First Impressions Last Forever

29

Be Ready for Love--Always!

30

Stay Psychologically "Fit to Kill"

32

7

35

How to Ignite Love at First Sight

How Much Eye Contact Does It Take to Imitate Love?

37

How to Get Sexy "Bedroom Eyes"

39

How to Awaken Primal, Unsettling, Sexy Feelings in Your Quarry

41

Naughty Eyes Are So Nice

42

8

45

Your First Approach

The Gentle Art of Pickup (Not for Men Only)

45

Hunters, Make the First Move . . . Fast

46

Huntresses, Make the Fast Move . . . First

49

First Moves That Work for Women

50

9

53

Your First Body Language

Let Your Body Do the Talking

53

When You Are Quarry

56

The Word That Can Save Your Relationship

57

"But This Is So Basic!"

60

10

61

Your First Conversation

Conversation Is Making Beautiful Music Together

61

Conversation Is Like Making Love

62

Conversation Is Like Making Love Conversation Is Like Selling How to Know What Topics Turn Your Quarry On

How to Fool Your Quarry into Thinking You Two Are Already in Love Get Even Closer by Giving the Gift of Intimacy Make Your Lifestyle "Fit" Your Quarry's Lovemap

11 Your First Date

The Game Begins in Earnest "How Soon Should I Make My Move?" "Playing Hard to Get--Should I, or Shouldn't I?" The Scientifically Proved Best First Date Give Your Quarry First-Date Butterflies Plant the Seeds of Similarity First-Date Restaurant Smarts Hunters, Some Spit and Polish for Your P's and Q's Huntresses, Forgive His Foibles First-Date Duds "I Haven't Got a Thing to Wear"

Part Two: Similar Character, Complementary Needs I Want a Lover Just Like Dear Old Me (Well, Almost)!

62 62 65

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68 70 71 75

75 76 77 79 80 82 82 84 85 87 87

Want a Lover Just Like Dear Old Me (Well, Almost)! 12 "It's You and Me, Baby, Alone Against This Mad, Mad World"

Similarity . . . and a Touch of Difference (Just a Touch)

13 How to Establish Subconscious Similarity

How to Instantly Make Your Quarry Feel, "Why, We're Just Alike!" Words to Give Your Quarry "That Family Feeling" "We Even Speak the Same (Body) Language"

14 How to Establish Conscious Similarity

The Three Crucial Conscious Similarities Let's Talk About Our Relationship--Not!

15 How to Establish Complementary Needs

"I Got Just What You Need, Baby"

Part Three: Ego How Do You Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways 16 The World Revolves Around You, My Quarry

Ego Massage Is a Highly Skilled Craft

17 Step One: Silent Praise

93

94 97 97 98 101 105 105 113 117 117

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123 124 127

Step One: Silent Praise

Let Your Body Do the Praising

127

18

129

Step Two: Empathy

"I Can Identify with That!"

129

Lovers Share Intimate Details

131

Lovers Have Private Jokes

133

19

137

Step Three: Admiration

"Oh Honey, You Did an Absolutely Superb Job Slicing These

137

Mushrooms"

20

141

Step Four: The Implied Compliment

"You're Much Too Young to Remember This, But . . ."

141

The Bull's-Eye Booster: "I Just Love What You Like About Yourself"

142

21

145

Step Five: The Big Guns

"You Are the Most Fascinating Person I've Ever Met"

145

"What Does Giving a Killer Compliment Do for Me?"

146

22

149

Fine-Tuning the Ego Machine

"Wait a Minute. Does Everybody Like Compliments?"

149

Knee-Jerk Praise: "What You Just Did Was Fabulous"

150

Have the First Laugh

151

Lovers Give Each Other Pet Names

152

When Your Quarry Praises You

153

23 Keeping the Love Coals Warm

"I Love the Way You Wrinkle Your Nose When You Laugh"

Part Four: Equity The WIIFM Principle of Love (What's in It for Me?) 24 Everybody's Got a Market Value, Baby

Why Is Finding Love Like Horse Trading?

What Currency "Buys" a Good Partner?

25 How Can I Use the Equity Principle to Find Love?

You Really Don't Want to Marry the Handsome Prince or the Beautiful Princess

"Why Don't I Want to Marry Up?

"What Happens if Inequity Strikes After We're Married?"

26 How Important Are Looks?

What Type of Looks Do Women Like?

What Type of Looks Do Men Like?

"How Can I Make My Quarry Think I'm Better Looking?"

How to Beef Up Your Odds on Making the Kill

27 Pursuing Rich and Famous Prey

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