Issue #11 ONLY25¢



Issue #11 ONLY25¢

PBJ TIMES® “DELIVERED EVERY FRIDAY”

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LAUGH-OUT-LOUD’S!

Things to do on the Washington DC airplane!

COMICS

Peanuts! (These comics have been altered to include PBJ)

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FUNNY PICTURES!

ADVERTISMENTS

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EVENTS

o 9/28 The banana is back and he is ballin’ with another top rated series

o 10/5 All new tales of PBJ Bananas summer break

o 10/5 First contest of the school year! Prepare your drawing skills to earn a prize!

o 10/5 New first poll

o 10/12 Poll results are in!

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The PBJ Banana has returned after a well-earned vacation. He was debating whether to retire, after he was mugged by milk and cereal with a baseball bat earlier this year. However, he decided to return for another great series of the PBJ Times. He quotes “Its all for the fans man, they deserve every bit of it, and I’m proud to be a role model to them.” These words bring tears to the eyes of even the no-hearted, and bad-tasting milk and cereal. Anyways, the Banana will tell of all his tales of his adventures in the summer starting next week. He is sharing them exclusively with the one and only… PBJ TIMES! So stay tuned for next week’s paper and keep eating those PBJ Sandwiches!

Author- Matthew Szewczyk (

Co-author- TBD (now hiring!)

Copyright®2007 PBJ TIMES co.

Feel free to E-mail: matthew.szewczyk@

For questions or job information

CONTENTS

Page 1- Newz /Events

Page 2- Laugh out loud’s

Page 3- Hilarious Comics!

Page 4- Funny pictures!

Page 5- Ads/Nincompoop corner

Come check out Matt’s Website!

My Website



Come check out Matt’s Myspace!

My URL



Apply for the job of co-author by emailing me for a job application!

Fart loudly and act shocked, looking around to see who did it.

Fiddle around with the emergency exit, and then ask a fellow passenger if he has a crowbar.

Go into the bathroom and make rude bodily noises, then come out looking refreshed.

"Accidentally” soda spill on the dork next to you.

Lead a bible study session in the back of the plane.

Start a hot dog stand.

Steal businessman's laptop, play solitaire on it.

Remark that perhaps you shouldn't have put super glue in your undies that morning.

Pick your nose and pat the person next to you.

Show off your Batman underwear.

Switch accents and see if anyone notices.

Sneak into the cockpit and hit the warning alarm.

Go into the cockpit, flick on the intercom light, and then loudly inquire as to why the fuel dial says "e".

Sneeze, using somebody's sleeve instead of your hand to cover it.

Snort when you laugh.

Tell corny jokes and laugh like it's absolutely hilarious, and then expect others to do the same.

With a desperate look, ask the stewardess where the bathroom is, then look relieved and say "Never mind. Do you have any towels?”

Ask someone for their autograph, pretending that you think they're famous (This best then the person looks nothing like the movie star in question)

Meow occasionally.

When your sitting next to someone, moan "Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!"

Sell Girl Scout cookies.

Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"

Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your Kleenex to other passengers.

But PBJ sandwiches are still the best!

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NINCOMPOOP CORNER

Are you or someone you know a true nincompoop? Become apart of this section and reveal your inner nincompoop. Do something dumb so everyone can laugh at you! Pretty sweet deal to me!

Peyton- Makes turkey noises all day (Sadly he’s good at it)

Kenny- Got his bike tires slashed on the first day of school (What’s new?)

Malik- For not being able to do an Ollie on a sk8boared

Joey- For destroying a real functioning robot that belonged to the teacher

Patrick- Do I even need a reason?

PH

When your scale tries to hide from you…

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…you’ll know it’s time for a PBJ Diet. Call 123-3212 for details and info.

Have you seen this superhero?

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Have no fear the banana is here!

Ads (FAKE!)

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This magazine is not a joke! It will be sold every Thursday and Friday until the end of the year. The newspaper is constantly changing! The polls, contests, prizes, nincompoops, & people are real! So do your part! Participate! Without you this newspaper is not possible! Thank you for choosing the PBJ Times as your number one comedy newspaper again!

Come to the PBJ Market place!

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Do you have questions? Comments? Advice? Ads? Comics? Funny Pics? Then send them to PBJ TIMES (Matt) for approval. Any ideas or donations will be greatly appreciated. I need your help! Thanks!

YOUR FREE AD HERE!

Are you luggin’ it?

Go to McDonalds!

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PBJ Supreme Package

All the works!

This package includes Ultimate Peter pan peanut butter, Georgia strawberry jam and Whole wheat bread!

Word of wisdom for the week

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Never play leap frog with a unicorn.

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