Regaining Your Credibility. How to Get Honest In Recovery ...

2009, Regaining Your Credibility:

How to Get Honest in Recovery

By Peggy L. Ferguson, Ph.D.

Regaining Your Credibility:

How to Get Honest In Recovery

By Peggy L. Ferguson, Ph.D.

Many people, while active in addiction, engage in deceptive, dishonest

behavior, and diversionary tactics. These are part and parcel of addiction

and the need to keep the extent of their problem hidden. It is difficult to

juggle all the demands of being addicted with all the "normal" demands

of living, plus hiding the addiction from others. Other people in an

addict's life are affected by the addiction. Conflict is inevitable.

Performance in various areas of an addict's life begins to slip as the

disease progresses. The addict feels compelled to do whatever is

necessary to maintain the status quo, keep up appearances and/or keep

going. Deception and dishonesty often become the norm rather than the

exception.

Use these questions to identify ways that the disease has impacted your

ability to be honest and how your dishonesty may have undermined your

credibility:

Identify your pre-recovery dishonesty.

What kinds of things did you do to hide your addiction? How were you

dishonest in word and in deed? Who did you lie to? What were the lies

you told. Did you lie when it didn't even matter to your consequences?

Were you in a habit of lying?

What other kinds of things were you dishonest about?

2009, Regaining Your Credibility:

How to Get Honest in Recovery

By Peggy L. Ferguson, Ph.D.





2009, Regaining Your Credibility:

How to Get Honest in Recovery

By Peggy L. Ferguson, Ph.D.

Did you stubbornly persist in a lie when you were aware that your

significant other knew you were lying? When this happened, did you

move into an "offense position", exclaiming your innocence and being

offended because you were questioned, accused, or called a liar? Did

you believe that your "word" was enough to convince someone to not

trust their own intelligence and experience, and to believe you instead of

themselves?

When you were being dishonest were you acting outside your own value

system? How did that affect you? What did you think and feel about

yourself?

What did you do with the feelings that were generated by your

dishonesty and the betrayal of your values? Did you just use more of

your drug of choice to not feel your feelings? Did you project your

feelings on to the person?

Identify your current dishonest behavior.

Now that you are in recovery, what are you still being dishonest about?

Who are you lying to? Are you being dishonest about the effects of the

disease on your life and the lives of significant others? Are you being

dishonest with yourself and/or others about the damage caused by your

disease?

Ask yourself these questions:

? Who has my disease harmed? How? What explanation am I giving

them? What have I done to make amends? If I am avoiding amends,

why? What am I afraid will happen or not happen?

2009, Regaining Your Credibility:

How to Get Honest in Recovery

By Peggy L. Ferguson, Ph.D.





2009, Regaining Your Credibility:

How to Get Honest in Recovery

By Peggy L. Ferguson, Ph.D.

Sometimes people in early recovery continue to employ defense

mechanisms that allow them to distort their reality. An example might be

rationalizing that making amends to a loved one about stealing from

them to buy drugs would only hurt them more. In reality the addict does

not want to deal with the guilt and shame of her behavior and to humble

herself by making amends. She fears that she will be lessened in the eyes

of her loved one and will be rejected.

Identify your defense mechanisms and justifications for not being honest

at this point in your recovery. Examples of defenses include: outright

denial, rationalization, intellectualization, justification, blaming,

minimization, projection of anger or hostility.

Are you being dishonest about your recovery efforts or some other areas

or issues in your life?

Identify ways that your resistance to be honest could jeopardize your

recovery.

Recovery is not possible without honesty. If you are working on

identifying the people you have harmed and are in the process of making

amends to them, the experienced guidance of a sponsor could come in

very handy at this point. Most people need some direct guidance and

feedback during the process of making amends.

How to get real in recovery

Identify any positive effects that could come from taking the risk to be

honest about the things that you are dragging your feet about.

2009, Regaining Your Credibility:

How to Get Honest in Recovery

By Peggy L. Ferguson, Ph.D.





2009, Regaining Your Credibility:

How to Get Honest in Recovery

By Peggy L. Ferguson, Ph.D.

If you have anxiety about taking the risk to be honest about something

you have been avoiding, write yourself a script on how to broach the

subject and what you want to say.

Identify the probable best time to do this and make a plan on how to

carry it out.

Keep your message about yourself. Do not blame the other person or

anyone else.

Say it simply without a lot of extraneous and confusing details. Don't

defend your behavior or analyze it. Tell him or her what you need to say,

then make amends.

Continue to practice developing your honesty skills by reviewing daily

when you were and were not honest.

Understanding Cross Addiction To Prevent Relapse

by Peggy L. Ferguson Ph.D.

A simple guide for professional and the general information seeker.

This relapse prevention guide specific to cross addiction issues

explains the nature of addiction and cross addiction, examples of

how cross addiction leads to relapse, and includes a worksheet to

assist in relapse prevention.

BUY NOW $9.95

Copyright 2009, Peggy L. Ferguson, Ph.D.

Hubbard House Publishing, Stillwater, OK





2009, Regaining Your Credibility:

How to Get Honest in Recovery

By Peggy L. Ferguson, Ph.D.





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