THE HEARTIES



THE HEARTIES

NEWSLETTER

Charity No.1089481 December 2017 No. 249

November Meeting

Diane Wooller came along and gave us an update on medication and its benefits and uses. Diane used to be a cardiac sister at Queens but is now a Care coordinator in Basildon. I have had quite a few e-mails expressing how much they enjoyed the meeting and they have found out such a lot.

The Raffle raised £89.00. Thank you all so much for your kind donations throughout the year. This enables us to raise funds for outings and drink vouchers.

Thank You

Pat Palmer for the stamps.

The January Meeting January 11th 2018.

This will take place on Thursday 11th January 2018 from about 7.30pm at The British Legion, Western Road, Romford. This year we will be having our Auction/Sale of unwanted Christmas presents or any items that are sellable. So please come along and enjoy the evening. This usually is highly enjoyable. I apologise for the change in meetings (we usually hold our New Year Party) but I am away again. Eff Orwell and Diane Crew will be our auctioneers.

February Meeting. February 8th

We will be having our New Year party where everyone will receive a drinks voucher and there will be the usual fabulous buffet. Admission will be £2 per person and everyone will receive a raffle ticket with a chance to win a hamper. This is the only time that HH charge at meetings. If any of you would like to bring some food items please let me know.

As many of you know it’s probably best not to eat before you come to the party.

We will also be holding our AGM which traditionally is sorted very quickly. If anyone would like to serve on the committee please let me know or just come forward on the evening. In accordance with our constitution the whole committee must resign although any or all may be re-elected.

New Year Hampers February 8th

Thank you to those of you that have already kindly donated items for these. They will be put together on the night so this will be your final opportunity to bring in items for inclusion in the hampers

Christmas Meal December 14th

Thanks to Pat Palmer and Eff Orwell for organising this at the Toby Carvery. Can you please be at the Carvery in the Brewery Centre for 6pm for 6.30.sit down.

Next Year’s Dates for your Diary

So far the events for next year are as follows:

|January 11th |Bring and Buy Sale |

|February 8th |New Year Party & AGM |

|March 8th |Colin’s Jewellery |

|April 12th |Stuart Wright BHR Hospital |

|May 10th |Quiz |

|June 14th |Wine & Cheese |

|July 12th |Diane Wooller Update and healthy |

| |eating |

|August 19th | |

|September 13th |Stuart Wright BHR |

|October 12th |Collins Jewellery |

|November 9th |Antique & Memorabilia Quiz |

JOKES

It was entertainment night at the Senior Centre and the amazing Claude was topping the bill. People came from miles around to see the flamed hypnotist do his stiff.

As Claude went to the front of the meeting room, he announced, “Unlike most hypnotists who invite two of three people up here to be put into a trance, I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience.”

The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat.

“I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It’s a very special watch. It’s been in my family for six generations.”

He began to swing the watch gently back and forth quietly chanting, “Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch…”

The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until, suddenly slipped from the hypnotist’s fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.

“Shit” said the hypnotist.

It took three days to clean up the senior centre.

THE IRISH VIRGIN

In a tiny village on the Irish coast lived and old lady, a virgin and very proud of it.

Sensing that her final days were rapidly approaching, and desiring to make sure everything was in proper order when she dies, she went to the town’s undertaker who also happened to be the local postal clerk) to make proper “final” arrangements. As a last wish, she informed the undertaker that she wanted the following inscription engrave on her tombstone:

“DIED A VIRGIN, LIVED AS A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN”

Not long after, the old maid died peacefully.

A few days after the funeral, as the undertaken/postal clerk went to prepare the tombstone that the lady had requested; it became quire apparent that the tombstone that she had selected was much too small for the wording that she had chosen. He thought long and hard about how he could fulfil the old maid’s final request, considering the very limited space available on the small piece of stone.

For days, he agonised over the dilemma. But, finally, his experience as a postal worker allowed him to come up with what he thought was the appropriate solution to the problem.

The virgin’s tombstone was finally completed and duly engraved, and it reads as follows:

“RETURNED UNOPENED”

BOOKS

As from this month there will not be any book stall. We have found that hardly any are being bought and this old lady finds it a waste of time lugging three heavy boxes back and forward to the meetings.

JAYS BOYS CLUB QUIZ

The next one will be held on Saturday 24th March 2018. Tickets priced at £9.00 this includes fish/chicken & chips etc.

On Behalf of Colin, myself and the committee we would like to wish you all a restive happy Xmas a and a healthy New Year.

If you need to contact me:- tel: 01708 472697, mob: 07724642423. Or j.richmond47@

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