Preventing and managing feelings associated with back to ...

Preventing and

Managing Feelings of

Being Overwhelmed That

Are Associated with

Back to School

by Rachel Fagan

Back to school season is upon us, but this year families are

faced with making difficult decisions and adapting to educational environments like they¡¯ve never seen before.

Here are some tips and truths to remember to help you prevent and manage the overwhelming feelings

associated with this year¡¯s transition back to school and to set you and your family up for a successful start.

Tips to Prevent Overwhelming Feelings About Back to School

? Get informed- No matter what options your district is offering

and which option you choose for your child, understand that

school is going to look and operate differently than it did

before.

Visit your district¡¯s website, attend the open

houses/orientations, read your emails, check your mail, and

answer the robocalls. Review your district¡¯s current reopening

plans and learning pathway options.

Ask questions,

understand your options, and select the option that best fits

your family¡¯s needs. What works for others might not be the

best option for you and your child, and it¡¯s OK to choose what¡¯s

best for your situation. If what you choose ends up not being

the best option, it¡¯s OK to change your mind or make

adjustments. Also, expect that there will be changes. This is

new territory for everyone, and schools will likely have to make

adjustments as the year progresses and in response to current

events and available resources. Do your best to be patient and

flexible, as many of these adopted changes are out of the

district¡¯s control and/or have necessary factors to consider that

might not be obvious to the general public.

? Set yourself up for success- Get your child back into a

consistent schedule a week or two before school starts,

complete with an earlier bedtime, going through your evening

routine, and waking up early in the morning. Make the hour

before bedtime a ¡°screen-free¡± time to help your child get a

better night¡¯s sleep. Get in the habit of laying out your child¡¯s

clothes, making lunches, packing bags (including notes and

paperwork), and loading the car the night before.

Start

practicing getting out the door (or ready to learn, if you¡¯re doing

virtual learning) in a timely and peaceful manner. Clear your

evening schedules for the first few weeks of school, and let

your child decompress for a bit when he/she gets home before

jumping into homework. (Your child will be tired after a day of

school, and this will help you all adjust to your new schedules.)

Get organized and mentally prepared for the sudden influx of

papers that accompany having a child in school. Stock up with

the necessary school supplies, including a planner. Familiarize

yourself with learning devices and communication platforms. If

you are doing virtual learning, establish a daily schedule with

frequent breaks, stick to it, and learn the difference between

synchronous (live) and asynchronous (not live, at another time,

and/or pre-recorded) learning events.

? Prepare your child for what he/she can expect- Change is hard,

stressful, and draining, and it¡¯s difficult to learn new information

when we¡¯re under stress. Just as parents are anxious about

the unknowns and changes the year may bring, children can

be also, but these worries can be eased by removing the

mystery and sharing what can be expected. Share with your

child the information that you¡¯ve learned about his/her school

environment, schedule, and procedures, and give him/her the

opportunity to ask questions and share his/her feelings. Talk

about what he/she is excited about and concerned about. Give

him/her your full attention as you listen. Kids can sometimes

work through their feelings just by sharing them. Take your

child¡¯s concerns seriously. Offer advice or guidance as needed

and as appropriate. Reassure your child that the teacher is

there to help and take care of him/her. Point out your child¡¯s

strengths and the qualities that make you proud of him/her.

? Practice- If your child is doing in-person learning, practice

wearing face coverings for extended periods of time, and teach

him/her how to tie shoes and open lunch boxes, containers,

and wrappers. Practice staying in one spot and maintaining

distance from others. Practice raising hands when attention is

needed. If your child is doing virtual learning, designate a

special learning area that is free from toys and other

distractions, and practice setting it up and gathering materials.

Practice using the devices and accessories, programs,

accessibility features, and communication platforms before you

have to use them when school is in session.

Truths to Remember When You Feel Overwhelmed About

Back to School

? It¡¯s OK to be anxious and frustrated. There are so many

unknowns, and information and plans are constantly changing,

and that is frustrating for EVERYONE. Recognize how you are

feeling, and allow yourself to feel it, even if it is negative. Just

don't stay there. Make peace with it. Talk it out and seek

support if you need it. Control what you can and feel that you

need to control, and let the rest go.

? You are not alone. Literally the whole world is trying to figure

this out right now. Talk with and listen to each other, and

become each other¡¯s support system. Share your feelings and

concerns, and lift each other up. Just remember to be kind and

show grace to each other. Everybody¡¯s situation and

resources are unique. Also, be willing to ask friends and

family for help when you need it.

? You know your child best. What works for others might not

work for you, so don¡¯t be afraid to make adjustments and ask

for help. Be active in your child¡¯s education and respectfully

communicate and work with his/her educational team

(teachers, administrators, therapists, specialists, counselors,

etc.).

? You do not have to have every possible situation figured out

right now. It¡¯s great to have backup plans, but it is also

impossible to anticipate and plan for every single scenario that

could play out this year. Try to be flexible and anticipate that

there will be bumps in the road and detours along the way.

Plan for what you can now, and adjust as necessary as the

year progresses.

? Your child¡¯s teachers want him/her to succeed. They want to

hear from you. They want to work with you. They want to

help.

? You are not the teacher. You may be a facilitator, but you are

not the instructor.

Tips for Overcoming Overwhelming Feelings

? Take deep breaths.

? Rephrase your negative thoughts into positive thoughts.

? Focus on right now and what you can control. Process one

thing at a time.

? Remind yourself of other times that you overcame

challenges, how you did it, and what you learned from it.

? Celebrate the tiny wins.

? Be kind to yourself. Lower your personal expectations of

focus, productivity, and performance. Honor the time you

need to adjust.

? Take action the moment you start to feel overwhelmed, and

change the activity or task that you are working on to divert

your attention and energy toward something else.

? Take a break. Take time for yourself to do something that

you enjoy. You cannot pour from an empty cup. Exercise,

read a book, meditate, listen to or play music, go for a walk,

pray, bake, buy yourself a gift, take a bath with Epsom

salts, call a friend, go to a restaurant, play a game, or take

a nap.

? Ask for help. Do you know people who can support or

guide you? Consider educators, support staff, family,

friends, neighbors, coworkers, and professionals in other

fields.

? Take care of yourself. Eat healthy and nutritious foods that

serve your body and are easy to digest. Exercise, even if it

is light exercise. Be sure to get a full and good night¡¯s

sleep (7 hours minimum). Get yourself feeling good so that

you can offer up your very best self.

? Mistakes and failures don't define a person and are actually

excellent learning opportunities.

? Attitude is everything. If you approach this year with a negative

attitude, it will likely be just that: a negative experience.

However, if you look for the positives (for instance, how

flexible, resilient, adaptable, and patient we¡¯re all learning to

be, not to mention the problem-solving skills that we¡¯re

developing), you might just find some silver linings in this

storm. Children feed off of the attitudes of the adults in their

lives. You set the tone. Remember that this is temporary, and

you can and will get through it. Even if your situation cannot

change, your feelings about it can with time.

Rachel Fagan holds a B.A. in

Music from Mansfield University of

PA, B.S.Ed. in Elementary

Education from Clarion University

of PA, and M.Ed. in Elementary

Education: K-12 Reading

Specialist and Instructional

Coaching Literacy Endorsement

from Slippery Rock University of

PA. She has 13 years of

experience teaching in elementary

public education in regular

education, specialist, and

intervention teaching positions.

Email: kresger@

Instagram: @rachelf814

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