Here’s Exactly What To Do After a Breakup

[Pages:8]Here's Exactly What To Do After a Breakup...

Don't get defensive.

Don't get triggered. Agree with the break up.

Stay calm.

Be cool about it.

Let them know that while you really value what you two shared together, you need some time for yourself to really reflect on things and see if this is something that you really want for your future.

By framing it this way, you are coming from a place of power (rather than a place of desperation). While this may seem like a very simple statement, it's actually sub-communicating a lot of very important things. It's showing them that you value yourself and your time and you actually want to give things some thought before rushing into things again. If you'd like to go the extra mile, you can also let them know that you plan to use this time to reflect on what happened in the relationship so that you could learn from it and be a better person. Now you might be thinking: "wow, that's pretty straight-forward. I don't even know how I'd say all that." Well, in an ideal world, you would say this the moment they're have "the talk" with you. You know, when they start of saying things like: "this isn't really working out for me, I need some time apart to think about things, etc" That would have been the perfect time to do it. So if you're still on and off and you sense "the talk" coming, here's what to say:

"The Breakup Diffuser"

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"You know what... I'm really glad you brought that up because I've been thinking the same thing for a while now and I think it may be the best thing for both of us right now."

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Now if you're thinking "wow, I'm already way past that point. I've already called them a bunch of times and sent them a bunch of text messages. I don't know how I'd even say this after everything I did. It'd seem kind of weird or out of character." No worries.... Papa Kevin's got your back ;) Here's another word-for-word template that you can use without agonizing over what to say or how to say it.

"The Resistance Remover"

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Hey (your ex's first name), I'm sorry I acted a little crazy the other day. What you said just kind of took me by surprise. I know it shouldn't have because I've actually been thinking about taking some time apart as well but I guess when push came to shove, I just kind of lost it. Anyways, I've thought a lot about what you said and I agree that breaking up is probably the best thing for both of us right now. Best wishes, Your first name

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The Best Way To Use These Templates

There are many different ways you can use this message.

Personally, I recommend writing a short hand-written letter. There's something much more thoughtful and personal about this than just writing a simple text or email (especially if you've already tried both of those methods in the past). If you did, it makes it way too easy for your ex to just glance over it and quickly categorize with everything else you've said.

Plus, there's a million other things on their phone that are literally just a click away. Writing a handwritten letter is a good way of standing out and making a real impression on them. Plus, you'll know that they're actually devoting their attention to it when they're reading it (instead of having it go in one ear and out the other in between a bunch of other texts and emails)

Overall, I think they'll be much more receptive to it when it comes in this format but it's not a requirement.

You can also send it as a text, email or even a facebook message.

At the end of the day, the format you choose won't make or break it. Just like this one message alone, ultimately, won't really make or break your relationship.

As great as this message is, it cannot single handedly fix a broken relationship.

The goal of this message is to simply remove the resistance they have towards you and have them see you as a whole and separate individual that is actually reacting maturely and giving this stuff some thought (instead of just acting out of desperation).

In other words, this message is meant to position you as an equal (rather than a codependent emotional wreck that just keeps on pestering them)

Look, shit happens and sometimes we get really emotional and totally lose our cool.

That's fine.

If you can acknowledge it and own up to it, you can recover from it.

That's what this message is designed to do.

It's designed to help you regain respect in their eyes.

(And hopefully it'll help you regain some respect for yourself as well).

However, I want you to keep in mind that this message is just "the opening move"

It's like the first chess move.

You don't win the game with this. There's tons of factors beyond this message that are totally beyond my control (and probably beyond your control as well).

After all, your chess pieces only compromise half the game pieces. In any case, this is a great starting point to help you get your foot in the door and open up a means of communication with them.

That's why I call it "The Resistance Remover"

It's just a way to open things up in a way where you can actually talk about it.

That way, if it is truly meant to be, you'll have a way to revive the relationship.

After all, the last thing I want to do is have someone lose something special because they didn't know how to handle themselves in the face of overwhelming emotions. That's really the only reason I even shared this stuff with you in the first place; to show you how to handle yourself in a much more mature and respectable way (as opposed to coming across as needy and desperate). By saying that you want some time to evaluate things too, it tips the scale a bit in your favor and puts you in a place of power. It reminds them (and yourself) that you're a perfectly whole and complete individual that could be fine with or without them. It also communicates the fact that you would only choose to invite them back into your life if you truly believed that it was in your best interest. In a lot of cases, it usually isn't, though that's a really hard thing for most people to accept (even though deep down they realize that their ex is not really good for them).

Unfortunately, most people have to learn this the hard way.

As they say, "you can lead the horse to the water but you can't make it drink."

I did my best to lead you down what I believe to be the most constructive path based on my experience.

However, what you choose to do from here is totally up to you.

Whatever you do, make sure you decide from a place of POWER (not desperation)

Remember, the "secret" is to be happy on your own (with or without your ex)

You have to be willing to let them go if you ever want them to come back. PS: if you know that your ex is not the right person for you and you need to move on, please disregard this section. I battled with myself while I was writing this section because I didn't want to lead people on or give them false hope. The only reason I decided to share this message with you was because I wanted to give people a way to open up the communication again in a casual, non-invasive way.

When I first started helping people, I wouldn't actually tell them what to say.

I would just tell them to cut contact and move on.

However, I realized that very few actually listened. Over time, I learned that people were going to try to contact their ex one way or another... so I might as well give them a better way to do it.

With that said: if you don't want to be with them, just let go and move on with your life.

You can still send them that message if you want, just don't go wishing and hoping that you end up getting back together.

Because chances are, you won't.

Why?

Because people break up for a reason.

Sometimes you just have to accept that what's done is done and move on. If that's the case, then just focus on the first 10 pages of this section where I was talking about why they're acting so cold and distant right now. Now that you have a better understanding of the situation and you realize that they're ahead of you in the recovery process, your expectations will change. Hopefully, you'll no longer expect them to act the same way, which will give you some more peace of mind.

By the way, if you're interested in learning more about where your relationship went off course and what you could have done to save it, I have another course that you may find helpful.

Why Your Ex Left (And What You Need to Learn From It)

This course will give you an "inside-look" at what went wrong in your relationship, what you can learn from it, and what to do so you don't end up repeating the same mistakes in your future relationships.

It also goes much deeper into why men just suddenly leave disappear out of the blue and how to become the kind of woman that no man would EVER want to leave.

I also cover why women suddenly lose attraction and start acting cold and distant in a relationship (and what you can do to KEEP her interest so that she never gets bored and leaves you for someone else).

It's important to know why your relationship ended regardless of whether you want to get over your ex or get them back.

If you want to get back together, you have to know the REAL reasons you guys broke up so that you can actually have a chance of resolving the things that tore you apart. Without this, you don't stand a chance of actually getting them back (let alone rebuilding the relationship and actually making it last)

If you don't want them back and you just want to learn from your mistakes so that you know what to do in the future, I'd highly recommend checking it out too. After all, it's better to learn from it now so that you don't make the same mistakes in the future.

Here's the link where you can get the course=>

In case you're wondering how a course like this can possibly tell you what went wrong in your relationship, I just want to make it clear that this is not just a regular course.

It's more than just a series of videos and eBooks... it actually gives you specific messages that you can send to your ex to get them to tell you the real reason why they left.

You're really going to like one of them in particular, called "The Reason Revealer"

It's a bit longer than the one I shared in this section but it's even more powerful.

The one I shared in this section is great because it "levels" the playing field.

Now, your ex may not always respond to this message (as there's nothing in it that really evokes a need for them to reply to you).

However, I have another special pre-written message called "The Reason Revealer" that shows you how to gets your ex to tell you why they broke up with you (and it also does this in a very casual and non-invasive way)

It took me a while to get the "phrasing" just right but now it works like a charm.

Once you read it, you'll beat yourself up for not thinking of it yourself.

You can learn more about it in my course at:

Want My Personal Advice on Your Situation?

If you want more in-depth advice based on your specific situation, just call my office at (312) 476-9416 or email us at help@

After you reach out to us, my assistant will get back to you to schedule a time for us to talk. Once we get on the phone, I'll help you see through all the confusion and figure out what you should do.

Disclaimer: due to the overwhelming amount of requests I get, I cannot personally talk to everyone that wants my advice. However, we always get back to people within 24-48 hours so go ahead and reach out to us and my assistant will let you know what times I have available. I'm usually pretty booked up but even if I'm totally booked for the week, they should still be able to get you in pretty soon.

Just call us at (312) 476-9416 or email us at help@

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