Poetry of Women Prisoners - Sue Stauffacher

Poetry of Women Prisoners

by

Sue Stauffacher

POETRY OF WOMEN PRISONERS

In "Harry Sue," I explore the feelings, hopes and aspirations of a child whose parents are in prison. In the book, Harry Sue's mom exists mostly in her daughter's imagination. But I also wanted my young readers to know what it felt like from the mother's perspective. I want them to hear from real moms who have done time for drug-related offenses and are separated from their children while in prison or recovery programs. The mothers that I worked with were anxious to do something to help make up for their mistakes. They miss their children desperately. Many consented to use their own names and to write their most painful thoughts in the hope that they could somehow help others. Their children's names have been changed to protect their privacy.

Feel free to print out these poems and use them in classrooms or workshops. To learn more about "Harry Sue," check out my website, .

If you are a child with a mom in prison, know that if she is like the mothers I have worked with, her number one concern is not when she'll get out, but how you are doing. She is sorry. And she loves you very much.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

I would like to thank the important non-profit organizations that contributed to the success of this project: the Grand Rapids, Michigan-based Criminal Justice Chaplaincy () and Pathfinder Resources, Inc. (), a substanceabuse treatment program. In particular, I would like to thank Betsy Brown, program manager for the horticultural therapy program there, for connecting me to these amazing writers.

MY DEAREST, MY PRECIOUS, MY BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTERS

Hello sweethearts. Yes, it's me, I'm still alive, even though the break in my heart branches out and tears holes in my soul each and every day. Every second since the last time I saw my two beautiful daughters has been filled with agony. You are both loved beyond description. There truly is no possible way to put into words how very precious you both are to me. I know the both of you know deep in your soul how much I love you!!

I am so mad at myself, in fact, at times I hate myself for letting you down. I didn't walk away from you. I was shoved away long before either of you were ever born by becoming a drug addict.

On the days you were born, I held you up and looked directly into your eyes and swore with every fiber of my being that I would always love you and be there for you. And to always protect you, to see to it that you would never hate me for one iota of a second the way I hated my mother and father for all the mean nasty things they did to me, and the way they made me feel worthless. I would always try my hardest to make you both know how beautiful, special, sweet and awesome, smart and wonderful you are.

I know a lot of people tried to make you believe that you two didn't mean as much to me as drugs. They were so wrong. Please don't believe that. I did drugs to keep from hurting deep inside my heart. And I've come to realize drugs don't make it better. It only stops the pain for a minute, then it comes flying back at you, twice as hard.

Both of you meant everything and still mean everything to me. God gave me the opportunity, the beautiful moment, to be your mom. Not just your mother. Any woman can be a mother. But it takes love to be a mom. And I love you with every fiber of my being.

Please don't think for a fraction of a second that it's your fault or that I didn't want you. Because that is not true. It was the drugs. I didn't do drugs, baby girls, they did me! And since you have been gone, not one day has passed that I didn't think of you, miss you or wonder if you were all right. I'm clean now. And I'm gonna stay clean one minute at a time.

I look forward to the day you come home.

Please forgive me! You can go to any courthouse and find me! Just tell them to look it up. It's in the paperwork from the court, the ones that took you away...they have to tell you!

Love you with all of my soul!

Your mother, Jodelynn Billington

WHAT I HAVE LOST

I know through the years There were good times and bad Unfortunately what hurts I remember the bad

I've disappointed you In so many ways The drinking, the drugging Almost forgetting your special day

I know you've lost trust Today is a new day I'm sobering up While missing you the same

The days are getting better I'm recalling the good days I know that this year I'll remember your special day

Jill Smith

TO MY CHILDREN Nothing hurts me more right now than being away from you.

I can handle the consequences of jail, fines, community service, rehab, everything but the hurt I put you through by being away Depriving you hurts more than any punishment sentenced to me. I can only pray that you will learn from my bad choices and not go through the same mistakes

Please know that it is you that motivates me to do right now and plan for the future. The consequences of being away again is too great to re-offend

Love, Mom

WHAT I HAVE LOST

Integrity, credibility, job security, freedom, sanity, possessions, schedules, friends, marriage, health, stability, time . . . the hardest loss . . . time with my children. . . . gone forever

YOU WERE MY JOY AND MY LIFE

You were my joy and my life, My everything, my all You were an answer to prayer I loved you so much I had to give you away You weren't a toy I would have broken you

You were my sunshine After you were gone I lived in perpetual darkness. I became an underground animal Never seeking the sun

You are my sun

Betty Phillips

 ................
................

In order to avoid copyright disputes, this page is only a partial summary.

Google Online Preview   Download