Interpersonal Communication
Interpersonal Communication
I. Self-Disclosure
A. Definition – revealing personal information that wouldn’t be easily discovered any other way
B. Appropriate self-disclosure is an important communication skill. It should be mutual and gradual in order to develop and strengthen our interpersonal relationships.
II. Communication Climate
Definition – overall feeling or emotional mood between people
1. aggression – putting your needs first
2. assertion – stating what you feel, need, or want
3. deference – putting your needs last
III. Conflict
What is Conflict?
• A disagreement through which parties involved perceive a threat to their needs, interests, or concerns
How Do Conflicts Occur?
• Misunderstandings
• Defending Turf
• Not Feeling Heard
• Hurt Feelings
• Escalations
Types of Conflict
1. overt - out in the open
2. covert - hidden
Communication Danger Signs
1) Escalation – Responding back and forth negatively with each other leads to increased anger and frustration
2) Invalidation- Putting down the thoughts, opinions, or character of another often causes more damage than we realize
3) Negative Interpretation- Making negative and unfair assumptions about what another person was thinking
4) Withdrawal or Avoidance – Anything from getting up and leaving the room to tuning out or shutting down during an argument
Conflict Management Styles
Avoiding – Will it go away?
Dominating – Force and power to resolve conflict
Integrating – Cooperative, both sides are satisfied
Obliging – Accommodating, one side gives in
Compromising – Each party gives so each wins and loses
Strategies for Resolving Conflict
• Active listening
• Reversing roles
• Fair fighting
* stick to the present
* describe behavior
* avoid pushing buttons
The Negotiation Model
• State what you want
• State how you feel
• Give reasons for your wants and feelings
• State your understanding of the other person’s position
• Create a plan to resolve the conflict
IV. Characteristics of Personal Relationships
A. Commitment – investment of time and emotions
B. Relationship Rules – expectations, what is/is not allowed
C. Contexts – family, friends, society
D. Relational Dialectics – competing needs in a relationship
1. autonomy/connection
2. novelty/predictability
3. openness/closedness
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