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Coping Strategies for Parents

In sessions with my clients this week and in speaking with other parents and friends, it became clear that we are all struggling a bit in adapting to the new reality of COVID-19. Usually, we have months to plan for extended breaks from school. (Like most working parents, my kids' 2020 summer camps are already planned!) Not so for this. For all parents, this is a challenge. How do we juggle our own work demands with our children suddenly being at home with us? If we have to still go our workplaces, who is watching our children? What's considered safe social distancing and what's not? What are we going to do with our children when sports, music lessons, museums, aquariums, and birthday parties have all been cancelled? So, in an attempt to address our own parental anxiety right now, here are some strategies.

1. Develop a daily schedule. A schedule is important for everyone, but particularly for children with ADHD, autism, anxiety or other needs. This also helps us as parents stay on track throughout the day.

Ideas for the schedule include:

• Wake up and bedtimes

• Time "school" starts and ends (if your district doesn't have an assigned login time)

• Academic breaks and ideas for those breaks

• Exercise/Time Outside

• Art

• Music

• Free play time

• Screen time with limits

• Chores

• Family time

2. Sit down with your children and generate a list of things they would like to explore during this time. Non-screen ideas developed by some of my child and adolescent clients include:

• Pick trails to hike

• Go for long bike rides

• Bird watch

• Knit/crochet

• Paint

• Draw

• Do a science kit/experiment

• Dig a hole as far down as you can

• Plant seeds

• Make a new music playlist

• Watch a baking/cooking show and then try to replicate a recipe

• Bake cupcakes or cookies and then do fun decorations

• Learn something new (ride a bike, a new skateboard trick, etc)

• Make your own graphic novel about the pandemic (or anything!)

• Journal

• Make a fort out of all of those Amazon boxes

• Face time with your grandparents-make sure they're okay

• Face time with your friends

• Write and mail a letter to your friends or relatives

• Do a surprise daily act of kindness for someone in your family

• Put on a play with your brothers and sisters for your parents

3. Make sure that you are aware of your own emotions. Everyone is experiencing higher than normal levels of stress right now. Be aware of signs that you need a break. Some warning signs include feeling irritable or "on edge", becoming upset with your children over things that normally wouldn't bother you, feeling overwhelmed, and physical signs like muscle tension, headaches and stomachaches that are not related to illness. Here are coping strategies to help parents:

• Listen to 3 of your favorite songs

• Take a relaxing bath or shower

• Use a relaxation app like Calm

• Call a supportive friend

• Start a group text with other moms/dads-support each other!

• Take a break from social media and 24/7 news for a while

• Exercise regularly (Just taking a 5 minute walk is helpful)

• Get enough sleep

I hope this serves as a starting point for families. Let's take this one day at a time and support each other even if it has to be from a distance!

Laura Berness, PhD

Stepping Stones Psychological Services of Princeton, LLC

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