NATIONAL COMMUNITY CHURCH



NATIONAL COMMUNITY CHURCH

March 1, 2015

Elements: Kindness

Joel Schmidgall

We are going to jump in. How many foodies are out there? I am a huge fan of food! I love food! I’m already getting Amens! Anywhere that I have gone on a trip, I can tell you the best meal I have had in that place. Any special occasion is built around food, right? Where we are going and what we are doing. Where we are going and what we are doing is not the question is it? It is where we are going and what we eating!

Growing up, my dad had a philosophy on food. What’s mine is yours and what’s yours is mine. The problem was that he was the fastest eater in Chicago! So after three minutes, he was done with his dinner and he was on to yours. When we would go out to eat, all I wanted was to order a burger and to eat that burger. Just let me eat what I ordered. If I ordered fries or onion rings, I want the amount of fries that came in the container. That’s all I want! Is that too much to ask! So we would go out and my dad would ask this question that there was no right answer to. He would say, ‘Joel, how is it?’ If I said it was good, he would say, ‘Let me try that.’ And if I said it was bad, he would say, ‘Let me try that.’ There was no right answer. He was coming either way and getting his. So I learned over time to eat in a defensive posture. I would eat from the back side of the plate down because I could guard it and eat this way and incoming forks were blocked by my elbows!

Now fast forward 20 years and I met this beautiful, slender, godly woman named Nina and we started dating and she has a philosophy on food, what’s mine is yours and what’s yours is mine. She quickly met my elbows! I’ll tell you something. It is not attractive when you are on a first date and you get an elbow because you are trying to get something. So let’s be honest, it is not attractive when you are trying to take some of my fries! Stay away from my fries! So after 30 years, I came to terms with the fact that it was shocking and disappointing to her that she would share her food and I would not share mine. So I told her I was a good person who does good things, but this one area, I’m just going to be selfish in this one area. This is my little thing.

And then we had kids.

And little Zeke came along and I love this little guy and he loves food! He lives for the next snack. And when he is not eating, he is talking about food. When he is eating, he is asking what we are going to eat next. He is like a little mini me! So one day I remember he was all about a Wendy’s frosty. So the whole day, he kept asking about the frosty. And at the end of the day, we got a kid’s frosty and we sat down and he was clapping and you know the spoons are bigger than the actual frosty at Wendy’s, right? He took a bite and I sat down next to him and I asked him a question. “Hey Zeke, how is it?” He says, “It’s awesome Dad!” And I say, “Can I have it?” Because I knew at that moment there was no possession that he owned that was more important to him. So I thought I would get a reaction from him so I asked him that and he looked at me and it was like inside him, the devil and God were fighting, and he looked at me and he looked at his frosty and he licked his lips and he slid that frosty across the table and said, “Sure Dad.” And for the first time in my life, I found motivation to try to change this area. And all the cajoling and the emotional responses and the nagging and all the things that had tried to change me over time, none of them had any sort of impact on the motivation for me to change. It was only in a moment of genuine kindness that I desired to change.

Lord, I just pray in these few moments today that we would understand the power of kindness. And that we would live and move in the kindness that you have called us to. Amen.

Galatians 5:22-23

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

The fruit we want to talk about today is kindness. Let’s look at that word. We see this through the Scriptures. Colossians 3:14 says clothe yourself with kindness. I Corinthians 13:4 says love is patient and love is kind. So to love somebody, you’ve got to be kind to them. The Greek word means useful or excellent in character. It is almost like an active character. The Old Testament word means love and kindness. It is the word that is used to describe God when He is in the tent of meeting. In fact, it is one of the most common words that is a descriptor of who God is. He is loving kindness and it interesting that these words come together. You can’t separate them. They are not perfectly the same word but they are perfectly linked together. Love and kindness.

I can’t remember who gave this definition but I love it. Kindness is love’s conduct, it is how love behaves. Kindness is love’s conduct, it is how love behaves. Kindness is a powerful fruit and many of us at crossroads in our life, were going along and somebody came along and they gave an encouraging word or they gave us an act of kindness and it changed our course. Or it kept us going somehow when we didn’t think we could go any more.

I want to talk about kindness through a couple of phrases. Jot these down.

The gift of kindness starts with the receipt of kindness. To give kindness, many of us will do that only, if only. I will give kindness only if I judge that person deserves it. I will give kindness if only I perceive that they need. I will give kindness if only they do what I want or they do it in the way I want it done. We judge but we never deserve God’s kindness. We judge other people don’t we? I do it. But I forget that I never deserve the kindness of the Lord.

Are we called to give or are we called to tell somebody else how to live? We are called to give. We are not called to judge somebody else’s worthiness. We are called to be carriers of God’s graciousness and to be generous with what He has done and given to us. Kindness is going from ‘if only’ to ‘because of’. If only is dependent upon somebody else. Because of is dependence on God.

Here’s what Titus 3:4 says

4 But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, 5 he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy.

Romans 2:10 says God’s kindness leads us to repentance.

Interesting, it is counter-intuitive. If somebody needs forgiveness from you or they need to seek restitution with you and you have a strategy to help them do that, would any part of that include kindness? When is the last time you went to your kids and said kids, you have back-talked enough today that I only have one option and that is to give you some cupcakes. When your roommate or your housemate has left the dirty dishes again! Are you kidding me? Again! What is your response in that moment? Most of us, it is anger or it is nagging or talking behind their back but God gives kindness. He responds with kindness. And it is only in our understanding of what He has done for us. I am a sinner saved by grace. He has made me new. He has called me out when I didn’t deserve Him. He gave me kindness and He pulled me back in. When I understand his kindness towards me, only when I get the receipt of God’s kindness am I ready to bless and give kindness to those around me.

The second phrase is this: kindness is active. The world’s concept of kindness is often to be polite. But kindness is not just the actions. Only God’s kindness ignited something within Joseph that when he was sold into slavery and given for dead by his brothers and he had the chance later on to come back and give it back to them, he gave them kindness. Only God’s kindness would ignite David when Saul had been chasing him down trying to kill him, and then he was right in front of him and he could have killed him, but he didn’t. He gave him God’s kindness. Only God’s kindness ignites Paul and Silas when they were beaten and thrown in jail by the jailer and then they were set free and could have taken advantage of him but they gave him kindness. It is only God’s kindness that leads them and empowers them to step out.

Strong’s Concordance defines kindness as acting for the good of people regardless of what they do. It is not necessarily doing what people want but it is doing what is good for them. Kindness and nice are not synonymous. When you are nice, you are always kind, but when you are kind you are not always nice. What is the application there for you? It is when you are with that friend and you are just not going to have that drink. You are being kind because you are doing what’s good for them in that moment.

Matthew 7:12

In everything, do to others what you would have them do to you.

We learned that in 2nd grade. That’s been taught forever but it goes well beyond when Jesus makes the statement. There are a number of people over the years who have said something very similar. Confucius said do you do to anyone what you would hate. A Jewish rabbi said what is hateful to you, don’t do it. Buddhists said kill not. But you will notice a small nuance in what Christ says and what was historically said over time. All of these are built on the negative. Do not do to others what you would not want done to yourself. But Christ comes along and says we are not going to sit back and just live in the negative. No. Do unto others what you would have them do to you. It is not the absence of negativity. It is the presence of action, of seeking out, of hospitality, of caring for those around you.

Luke 6:31-36, the Message translation

31-34 “Here is a simple rule of thumb for behavior: Ask yourself what you want people to do for you; then grab the initiative and do it for them! If you only love the lovable, do you expect a pat on the back? Run-of-the-mill sinners do that. If you only help those who help you, do you expect a medal? Garden-variety sinners do that. If you only give for what you hope to get out of it, do you think that’s charity? The stingiest of pawnbrokers does that.

35-36 “I tell you, love your enemies. Help and give without expecting a return. You’ll never—I promise—regret it. Live out this God-created identity the way our Father lives toward us, generously and graciously, even when we’re at our worst. Our Father is kind; you be kind.

The grace of God realized in our lives. I asked Bekka Halls if I could share some of her story and how she came to Christ and how she came to NCC. She wrote a few thoughts for me.

A friend who had invited me to NCC moved shortly after, leaving interested in this Jesus thing but very overwhelmed and confused. I didn’t understand what was going on at first and after struggling for a few months, I gave up and stopped going. My far away friend suggested I give church one more try and go to the baptism service. I ended up sitting next to Ashley and after service, she worked up the courage to ask if I wanted to grab some coffee. Fast forward to the same event the next year when Ashley held my hand and walked me under the stage to get baptized and to give my life to the Lord. Coffee turned into an international mission, a small group, a mutual ministry, a daily devotional together. And now I know that Ashley wasn’t sitting by me by chance that night but by divine appointment!

Divine appointments, those moments that God has set up for you to step into. One side stepped in but it took Ashley stepping out of her comfort zone and being aggressive, not just not doing what was not good for others but taking action and simply giving a moment of kindness and responding to the prompting of the Holy Spirit. Acting in obedience unto what God was speaking to her. Rebecca’s life was changed for the better. Salvation came into her. Understanding came unto her. Healing came into her life. All because somebody was willing to step out in faith. Are you willing today to step out in faith? How are you showing kindness to somebody close to you today? Could you bless somebody around you? How are being intentional with those within your home.

I love the way Pastor Mike Whitford says it, kindness is the delivery system of God’s love to your fellow man.

Third phrase, kindness does not happen by accident, it happens by intention. In Luke 8, Jesus was walking along and in verse 42, it says that the crowd started crushing Him. They were pushing in and crushing Him and at that moment a woman reached out and touched the hem of his garment. She had had bleeding for 12 years and she touched the hem of his garment and in that moment, Jesus stopped the crowds and said, ‘Who touched me?’ And this woman got down on her knees and fell before Him and He said, ‘Woman, your faith has healed you, now go in peace today.’

Interesting little Scripture and when I was reading and meditating on this message, I realized how powerful this was to our situation here today, in this city, at this time and the way things work. This story relates to where we are! It relates to many of us in this house today. And that’s in this, there are pressures that are closing in on you and you are walking along and everything is squeezing in and the pressures and the people and the projects are all closing in on you and it feels like you have no room. You are walking along and everybody wants your attention. Listen, only somebody needs it. And in this moment, everybody wanted Jesus’ attention but only somebody needed it. And He stopped the crowd, and in this moment of being overwhelmed, He gets personal.

There will be a moment this week when the project or the paper has to get done and all this stuff is happening and everybody wants your attention but your child needs your attention. There is a moment when everything is piling in and everybody is yelling at you but your co-worker needs you. You friend needs your attention. Are we willing to get personal in that moment?

It was only because God in a moment got personal with us that we received the grace of God. We weren’t just somebody in the crowd but when we reached out to God, He stopped and looked at us and He put a word in our hearts or He sent somebody and we were changed for the better and made new. When we acknowledge his personality and his person, that is when we begin to give kindness to those around us, to pay attention to those moments He has set up.

This week at the gym, I was at the end of my workout and I’ve gotta go. I have a limited amount of time that I am there and I was at the end of that time. Then this conversation starts up and it gets personal real quick. A guy starts telling me about a healing situation within his home. And I was thinking I’ve really gotta go and it was that tension, that fight between schedule and Spirit. You know what I’m talking about. And too many times, I choose schedule. Too many times I choose schedule when the Spirit is working. And this time, I put schedule aside and I decided to seek out kindness in that moment. Kindness means different things at different times to different people. In that moment, it meant me listening and locking in and asking questions. That’s all kindness is. It is listening to the promptings of the Spirit and being obedient to that. That’s all kindness is. We should leave it right there. Kindness is God’s prompting you to do something and then doing it and acting for the good of those around you. So I was listening intently for 10 or 15 minutes and God was bringing a healing process. While I was listening, I was just praying for the healing of the Lord. And there was healing happening! I left that place praising God! In a moment when I was able to push the crowds aside that are all wanting me and to get personal with one, that’s when God shows up and that’s when the Holy Spirit shows up and He takes a good thing and makes it a God thing. He anoints it and heals somebody.

A couple days later, I got a phone call from this guy wanting to talk and I was thinking how did he get my number! We underestimate the long term impact that we can have in a short term moment of kindness. When we are willing to follow and live according to the promptings of the Holy Spirit within us, God will show up.

I asked some of our leaders this week to share with me some of the moments of kindness that have changed your course. And I want to shotgun share these real quick. Here’s one.

Someone made my day when I couldn’t get my car out and they shoveled me out. And then they wouldn’t take any money from me.

Another one, a small group of people at NCC gave us their weekend to help us move. To me, helping someone move is kindness at its finest!

Another one, my small group leader started running alongside me on mile 18 of my marathon. And at the toughest point, she spoke words of encouragement the rest of the way and it gave me the strength to finish the race.

My student gave me a chocolate bar as a thanks for teaching them. It made me feel like I was making a difference.

One more, our family car was vandalized leaving us with nothing. Another NCCer sold us their car, discounting it thousands of dollars. We are more blessed than ever.

Intentional efforts born of the Spirit. Intentional efforts born of the Spirit. Intentional efforts born of the Spirit.

Oscar Wilde said this, the smallest act of kindness is worth more than the grandest intention.

I want to take just a few minutes to seek out how we can serve a sector of society that we have grand intentions with but often we don’t actually take that small action. Jill Carmicle is an expert within our homeless community in DC. So I asked her not just to share something towards motivational ends but to give us some training in how we can interact and how we can bless and how we can show kindness to our brothers and sisters who are living out on the street. So Jill is going to give us a short training.

[Video of Jill]

I’m Jill Carmicle and A1:8 National Community Church and we are really excited this week to hand out the DC homeless resource card. As we talk about kindness today, one of the things we always want to stress is how we are engaging with people living on the street. The DC homeless resource card is all about giving you the tools and resources to empower you to feel more comfortable about engaging people on the street. People always ask me what they can do and one of the things I always say is first and foremost treat people with dignity and respect. Just say hello, smile, be a welcoming face. Beyond that, offer to buy someone a meal. Beyond that, sit down and hear their story. Creating relationships on the street is very difficult and homelessness is very isolating. So being that person who can listen to their story and show kindness and love is a huge deal for someone living on the street. We know that on average, there are 7,784 men, women and children living on the street or in shelters any given night in DC. That problem can seem so big but using these tips on giving resources and how to engage someone on the street can be part of the solution to ending homelessness. People ask me if they should give money directly to people when they ask for it and that’s all about your own comfort level. My rule of thumb is I don’t give money directly to people. I will either offer to buy a meal or coffee or I give money directly to an organization. But if you decide to give money to someone, it is all about entering a judgment-free zone at that time. You can’t judge how someone is going to spend the money you are giving them. Someone is going to spend it on whatever crisis they are engaging with at that moment and it could be withdrawal from something but you made the decision to give them money and you need to be ok with that because it is all about honoring what someone can decide for themselves. At NCC, we have plenty of ways to engage with ending homelessness. Some of those ways are the Living Room service where you can connect with people living on the street. We can also connect you with other ways you can volunteer. There are plenty of things you can do but one of the most important things is to be that act of kindness to someone and show the love of Christ when you are engaging someone on the street and be that smile or that hello that they might not see otherwise.

[Video, male]

Five months ago, I met a gentleman named Tim Wright. He came to the Living Room, which is a homeless small group. Tim was a very drawn back person, very quiet, sat in the back and would nod his head at a few things from time to time. And he began to start coming out of his shell and started to get closer to the fellowship and sharing little tidbits with us. Sometimes he would just say, ‘I’m encouraged by being here.’ It wasn’t until he began to walk with someone else who was experiencing homelessness as well that he began to really start coming out of his shell. He began to share what the Lord was doing in his life and in his heart. He was telling us that for years he felt like he was going down a one way street but now through this group, he was feeling like he could turn around. It gives me hope. The thing that I was so encouraged by in seeing his growth is that this man who came here and has a story very similar to other people’s story of incarceration and drug and alcohol abuse, it was the simple fact of Jesus that changed his heart and mind and that John 13:34-35 is true: 34-35 “Let me give you a new command: Love one another. In the same way I loved you, you love one another. This is how everyone will recognize that you are my disciples—when they see the love you have for each other.” And seeing Tim come into our group and then having a brother to walk alongside him and love on him even more really helped transform him into a disciple for Jesus because he is going out in this fellowship and loving on others.

[Joel]

You will get the card that Jill mentioned on your way out today. We are really excited about this. It is a resource card. You will see on the front and the back resources that our city provide and offers. It is not meant to be something you just hand out and then take no part of. This is to empower you to step forward and help those who have a little bit less on the streets. Ultimately this should lead us to more relationship, to engagement with our friends. I pray that God will use us to be a blessing to those who are in less fortunate situations. I love Tim’s story! I know Tim and he would openly share this. He would say he has some anger issues in his life but here’s what’s awesome, when he started coming, our team was Romans 2:10, we are going to respond in kindness. And that’s what they did and over time, weeks and months went by and Tim was silent and it looked like the effects of kindness were none. So if they were to judge based on their perception at this level, they should have quit a long time ago. But they didn’t because God was churning something up within him and while the weeks and months were going by, God was working in him and all of a sudden, it began to come out. That’s what happens when the Spirit works! And a new Tim is showing up today! And testimony is coming through his life. That is the work of the Spirit that happens when we make ourselves available to be used in his kindness.

Kindness is not just a good deed or a good act. It is Holy Spirit anointed moment of kindness.

My mom said she was at the store and God just told me I needed to buy some raisin bread for my neighbor. So I bought the raisin bread and took it to her. Ok, it sounds like just a kind act. But it was more than that. She was not doing a good deed, she was living in Holy Spirit anointed kindness. Being obedient to a prompting that God had put in her spirit and then acting on it. She went to this woman’s door and the woman started breaking down crying. And she said this, ‘I have been so overwhelmed and so depressed and I was praying to God begging Him to send raisin bread to my house!’ And this neighbor shows up with raisin bread! Mom walked in and began to minister to her in prayer and in words and generosity and spirit.

For 18 years I was trying to be a good person. And I was successful and I was not successful at that. But I had a resume of good things I was doing. But I came before the Lord and when I found the Spirit of God and began to follow Jesus, something changed and I went from doing good deeds to doing Holy Spirit anointed acts of kindness to those around me. There is a huge difference! When God anoints it, it goes from being a good act to a God act. He shows up and He speaks through you and it flows through you into those around you.

We are not talking about doing a single act of goodness to other people. We are not talking about a one and done. We are talking about living a lifestyle of action out of the Spirit of God that dwells within us. The Spirit is alive and well and He indwells within us.

When you look at the fruit of the Spirit, you see an apple. The apple does not produce life for the tree. The tree produces life and out of that life it produces the apple. We can’t produce fruit. We cannot manufacture fruit. The fruit of the Spirit only comes when the Spirit is alive within us. And when He is alive, there is only one proper response and that is to produce the fruit of the Spirit. That is what we are called to. That’s what this message is about. How is the Spirit of God working within us? If He is working within us, it is acting out an intention and moments of kindness to those around us.

May He bless us with the Spirit of the Lord today!

God we come to You, giving You thanks and giving You praise. We start today by saying thank You for your goodness and thank You for your kindness. God thank You for sending your Son and for giving forgiveness to each one of us even though we did not deserve it. You granted us grace and forgiveness and mercy and You pulled us into your goodness and your presence and we say thank You. And in that receipt today, in the same way Father we pray that You would empower us in the Spirit to step out with boldness this week, to be encouragers this week. We pray that we would step into those interactions. God I pray that we would find moments when things are annoying us and getting on our nerves that we would step out in kindness to interact with those people. We give ourselves to You today God and ultimately over everything else God we pray that the Spirit of God would indwell within our souls and out of that, in kind would be kindness that comes through you. In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen.

Transcribed by:

Ministry Transcription

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