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Bridging you back to life
Dear friends,
At Ladder Bridges, my mission is to provide you with comprehensive information that helped me fully overcome chronic depersonalization, derealization, anxiety, agoraphobia, social phobia, electrosensitivity, and chemical sensitivity all stemming from a manifestation of late stage Neurological Lyme disease.
Lyme disease is a debilitating bacteria that comes from ticks carrying the disease. It has become a growing epidemic throughout the world and is grossly under diagnosed (or in my case, misdiagnosed). Due to the inability of medical experts to accurately diagnose Lyme disease, many people suffer for years without understanding what is wrong with them.
In my case, I spent years going to psychologists and psychiatrists trying to understand the cause of my anxiety, depersonalization and derealization. After being dismissed by these doctors, I found myself flat broke huddled in a corner of my apartment trembling in fear with medical bills staked high, creditors calling me off the hook, and insurance companies refusing to pay for the medical services I had received. As I looked at myself in the mirror, I saw I was beaten down to a tiny fraction of the person I once was. I was depleted. Moreso, I felt dead physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I had been a high functioning attorney, and now my cognitive skills were so damaged that I couldn’t add and subtract numbers anymore or even read! How was I going to pay back the loans?
Abandoned by doctors after following a 30-day protocol of antibiotics, coined incurable by psychiatrists lacking knowledge of Lyme disease as the “great imitator” of anxiety and depersonalization, unable to find a good doctor as there are very few practicing LLMD’s (Lyme Literate Medical Doctors), and denied by insurance companies to pay for any of my treatments, I was forced to take my health into my own hands.
I promised myself that once I got out of the situation I was in, I would help other people. And that’s exactly what I am doing. I currently have no symptoms, and am honored to share my story, my experience, and the valuable information that I discovered on a daily basis in my recovery.
I have created this website to help you on all levels – physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually -- and give you hope when it feels like hopelessness is all there is. One of the important things to remember is that although other people might think you are lazy when you are actually dying inside, it is important to keep hope. Sometimes it is so hard to get people to understand what you are going through. That is why it is so important to go to support groups and for all of us to share our stories.
I will be providing you with information, resources, my personal experiences, and links to products, books, and articles that really helped me along the way. This website is not meant to be a doctor’s opinion, but rather a place for you to come to for comfort and advice because so many people suffering from Lyme disease are left to their own devices with no place to really call home. I would love to help you by sharing my story of how exactly I got better.
Please feel free to share your thoughts and questions. You can always reach me on my contact page.
Lastly, if you have chronic anxiety, depersonalization or derealization, please, I urge you to get tested for Lyme disease by a Lyme Literate Medical Doctor (LLMD). You may be saving your life!
With all my blessings towards recovery,
Heather
ABOUT
My Story
[pic]My mission is to spread awareness to people with anxiety, depersonalization and derealization that their conditions may be Lyme-related. Since my high school days, I have suffered on and off from chronic anxiety and depersonalization, but never knew these were symptoms of Neurological Lyme disease. Unfortunately this is the case for many people.
When I was a little girl I played in the woods all of the time. I loved the outdoors. When I was 10 years old, I was bitten by a tick in Connecticut, but never thought anything about it. In fact, 50 percent of people with Lyme disease never remember being bitten. I do remember a red rash, but otherwise I didn’t seem to have any other physical symptoms.
When I was 12, we moved back into New York City. During my teen years I suffered from anxiety. Everyone around me felt that it was abnormal for a girl of 15 to be so anxious all of the time. I later developed an onset of depersonalization disorder for about a year and then it went away. Depersonalization is really scary. It’s when you feel completely detached from the world emotionally and feel as if you are in another dimension. The strange thing is that all of a sudden it went away.
My life really took a turn for the worst when I started law school. Doctors were baffled by my symptoms. I remember getting really bad migraines. I once passed out in a car dealership holding my head asking to be rushed to a hospital. The tests came out fine (as they had for years).
Neurologists put me on all sorts of medicine for my headaches and depression, but not one neurologist or psychiatrist ever thought my symptoms might be Lyme disease.
Later, towards the end of law school, my symptoms got really bad. I remember the severe depression turning into immense anxiety overnight. It was horrendous. I walked into my law firm and knew something was wrong. I was scared of people; sounds became too loud; and knew I had to take some time off from work.
That time off from work was horrible. My anxiety was getting worse and worse. I started staying in my house for weeks on end. Weeks then later turned into months. I ordered several tapes from Lucinda Basset and the Midwest Center for Anxiety and walked around New York City saying to myself, “I am fine.” “I am good.” “I am special.” But that didn’t work.
I tried to take the bar exam that summer, but at that point I was so anxiety ridden that I couldn’t even leave the house. I soon became addicted to anti-anxiety pills my doctor had prescribed for me. I’ll be honest … my doctor was prescribing the pills like it was candy.
Day by day I felt farther and farther away from reality.
Later that summer, my anxiety turned into depersonalization again. I wasn’t sure whether the depersonalization was a way for my body to protect itself from my immense anxiety, but I knew that I needed help.
I had many experiences where my heart would race, and I would get shooting pains in my back, but still the doctors kept saying it was purely anxiety and it would go away. Many nights I would excuse myself from the dinner table and lie on the bathroom floor and cry. I just could not stop the depersonalization. I couldn’t stop it. I couldn’t see, feel, or taste anything. I felt like the walking dead.
Things progressively got worse. My memory was slowly going and I started having cognitive problems. By this point I couldn’t really leave the house or walk because my legs would give out. Frankly, I think the anti-psychotic drugs were making everything worse.
After telling doctors that my addiction to anxiety medication was getting worse, I hit a bottom one night. I found myself huddled at the end of the bed, rocking back and forth, and shaking. I stood there looking at all the things in my room. All of the sudden everything felt completely unmanageable. Even lifting up a book was unmanageable. I crawled to the phone and asked my sister for help.
When my sister came into the apartment and saw me, she started crying. She and her friend lifted me up from the carpet. Tears were running down my face as I kept saying, “Please help me. I am confused. I don’t know how to function.”
What was going on? I was always a happy kid? Why did this start? How did this all begin? Doesn’t anyone, any doctor have answers? The medical bills were piling up to nearly $30,000 but still there were no answers.
After many more months of agony, confusion, doctor’s visits, doctor’s bills, and personal debilitation (which you can read about in my e-book, The Full Story), a dear friend told me to see a LLMD (Lyme Literate Medical Doctor). When I walked into the office and saw the fees, I saw that the appointment would cost me $1,000. I didn’t have the money, and there were actually too many patients. The doctor couldn’t see me for 6 months!
A few months later it was my birthday. I was broke. I mean really broke. But I knew it would take a lot of money to get me out of my situation. I sat in my room alone on my birthday with no friends -- just me and a candle. At that time, my family had really given up on me. I sat there holding the candle praying to God to give me money for treatments, praying for hope, and praying that there would be a way for me through all of this.
That day I knew I had no choice but to seek help and get on the right track. I started talking to Perry Fields who is a track athlete who overcame Lyme disease, and I started to see alternative healers. Going off antibiotics was scary for me. I won’t lie. It wasn’t an easy task, but I just said to myself, “I’m dying anyway what difference does it make. Let me try this for six months.”
During this time, I prayed to God a lot. One day, I stood still for a minute silently in my room asking God for advice. “God, please help me. I need to get better. I need to start making money. Please God help.” My inner voice then said to me: “Do whatever it takes no matter how crazy it is.”
Every day since July 2009, I have pretty much been my own doctor, and I currently have no more symptoms. I am so happy to be living again. I have dreamed of this for so long. Lyme has manifested itself in me in some pretty strange ways, but I know everything happens for a reason.
I’m so grateful today and hope my story will bring hope to people when life to them seems so hopeless. My dream ultimately is to have a rehabilitation center for people with Lyme disease. It was everything I wanted when I was sick and alone, and when my family couldn’t understand this disease at all.
I am honored to share my story, my experience, and the valuable information that I discovered on a daily basis throughout my recovery.
Please remember no matter how bad it gets that there IS HOPE. I attribute my success to God, my friends in the Lyme community, and Perry Fields. I am so happy to share and encourage as many Lymies as possible.
With blessings for your recovery,
Heather
LYME DISEASE
What is it?
Lyme Disease
Lyme disease is a tick-borne illness caused by the bacteria Borrelia burgdorferi. Deer ticks, which feed on the blood of animals and humans, can harbor the disease and spread it when feeding. If treated with appropriate antibiotics in the early stages of the disease, you'll most likely recover completely. However, Lyme disease is widely under diagnosed, and many people spend years suffering from disorders such as anxiety, depersonalization and derealization, without medical experts linking these symptoms to Lyme disease.
Important Note: Fifty percent of those suffering from Lyme disease never remember being bitten by a tick.
How do you know if you have Lyme disease?
This is a good question. Fewer than 50 percent of patients with Lyme disease recall a tick bite. In some studies this number is as low as 15 percent in culture-proven infection with the Lyme spirochete.
Lyme disease is a bacterial illness caused by a bacterium called a spirochete or Borrelia burgdorferi. Lyme disease is medically described in three phases as: early localized disease with skin inflammation; early disseminated disease with heart and nervous system involvement, including palsies and meningitis; and late disease featuring motor and sensory nerve damage and brain inflammation as well as arthritis.
Current treatment under the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) for Lyme disease is about 30 days of antibiotic therapy (which is highly controversial). If you were recently bitten by a tick, please get treatment quickly.
However, if the infection stays in the person’s body for a longer period of time the infection could be more difficult to treat and VERY COSTLY. Many people with chronic late stage Lyme disease are forced to undergo long-term antibiotic therapy. In some cases, long-term antibiotic therapy isn’t able to cure all of it and people are still left with symptoms and LEFT TO THEIR OWN DEVICES (which is what happened to me).
Many people think that Lyme is just a northeastern disease but in fact it is becoming a growing epidemic.
Symptoms
Lyme disease is a tick-borne illness that causes a wide range of signs and symptoms. It is important to note that symptom combinations vary greatly from person to person.
It is also critical to note that you can be infected for years without becoming disabled due to the morphologic nature of the bacteria (Borrelia burgdorferi). In other words, Lyme disease can lie dormant in your body for months or years, taking over when you are worn down physically or when your immune system is suddenly (or gradually) compromised. If you have symptoms in two or more bodily systems, you should consult a “Lyme Literate Medical Doctor” (LLMD), also referred to as a Lyme-literate Doctor (LLD).
Have you had any of the following?
The Tick Bite
• Tick bite (deer, dog, or other)
• Rash at site of tick bite
• Rashes on other parts of your body
• Rash (basically circular – called “bulls-eye” rash) and spreading out
• Raised rash, disappearing and returning
Head, Face, Neck
• Unexplained hair loss
• Headache, mild or severe
• Twitching of facial or other muscles
• Facial paralysis (Bell’s palsy)
• Tingling of nose, cheek, or face
• Stiff or painful neck, creaks and cracks
• Jaw pain or stiffness
• Sore throat
Eyes/Vision
• Double or blurry vision
• Increased floating spots
• Pain in eyes, or swelling around eyes
• Oversensitivity to light
• Flashing lights
• Ears/Hearing
• Decreased hearing in one or both ears
• Buzzing in ears
• Pain in ears, oversensitivity to sound
• Ringing in one or both ears
Digestive and Excretory Systems
• Diarrhea
• Constipation
• Irritable bladder (trouble starting, stopping)
• Upset stomach (nausea or pain)
Musculoskeletal System
• Any joint pain or swelling
• Stiffness of joints, back, neck
• Muscle pain or cramps
Respiratory and Circulatory Systems
• Shortness of breath, cough
• Chest pain or rib soreness
• Night sweats or unexplained chills
• Heart palpitations or extra beats
• Heart blockage
Neurological System
• Tremors or unexplained shaking
• Burning or stabbing sensations in the body
• Weakness or partial paralysis
• Pressure in the head
• Numbness in body, tingling, pinpricks
• Poor balance, dizziness, difficulty walking
• Increased motion sickness
• Lightheadedness, wooziness
Psychological Well-being
• Mood swings, irritability
• Unusual depression
• Disorientation (getting or feeling lost)
• Feeling as if you are losing your mind
• Overemotional reactions, crying easily
• Too much sleep or insomnia
• Difficulty falling or staying asleep
Mental Capacity
• Memory loss (short or long term)
• Confusion, difficulty in thinking
• Difficulty with concentration or reading
• Going to the wrong place
• Speech difficulty (slurred or slow)
• Stammering speech
• Forgetting how to perform simple tasks
Reproduction and Sexuality
• Loss of sex drive
• Sexual dysfunction
Females only:
• Unexplained menstrual pain, irregularity
• Unexplained breast pain, discharge
• Pelvic pain
General Well Being
• Unexplained weight gain or loss
• Extreme fatigue
• Swollen glands
• Unexplained fevers (high- or low-grade)
• Continual infections (sinus, kidney, eye, etc.)g
• Symptoms seem to change, come and go
• Pain migrates (moves) to different body parts
• Early on, experienced a flu-like illness, after which you have not since felt well
**This list was compiled by Denise Lang, author of “Coping with Lyme Disease” but is by no means conclusive. If you suspect you have Lyme disease, visit to find a Lyme-literate doctor in your area.
Testing
Lyme Disease Testing
Lyme disease is a complicated disease to diagnose. Sometimes the tests come out false positive or false negative. If your test comes out negative, you might still have Lyme disease.
There are lots of reasons for a false negative in a blood test for Lyme disease. The blood work that is done for this disease tests for antibodies against the bacteria Borrelia burgdorferi. If the antibodies are present in your body you will be diagnosed for Lyme disease. If they are not present, the test is negative. That’s right, Negative! So you could go for years having Lyme disease and not even knowing it. That’s what happened to me. When I had depersonalization and wasn’t experiencing any physical symptoms of Lyme disease, I got tested for Lyme and my test came out negative. When I got tested again months later, it came out positive!
There are a few reasons for having a test come out negative when it should have been positive for Lyme disease:
1. You have taken antibiotics recently.
2. The antibodies for Lyme disease are undetectable amounts in your blood.
3. You have taken anti-inflammatory drugs recently.
4. Your immune system is not reacting to the bacteria and in turn not producing the antibodies.
5. The bacteria have changed in their makeup and your body’s immune system does not recognize this and does not produce antibodies.
Here are some other reasons Lyme disease is so complicated to diagnose:
• Fewer than 50 percent of Lyme disease patients recall a tick bite or rash.
• Sometimes people don’t get symptoms for years after they are bitten, so they don’t realize they are infected.
• Lyme disease is greatly complicated by dozens of co-infections such as Babesia, Bartonella, Ehrichia, Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever, Mycoplasma, Relapsing Fever, HHV6 and many more.
• Lyme spirochetes can penetrate the central nervous system within 24 hours of a tick bite according to Dr. Coyle at Stony Brook University.
• A 1998 Swiss study showed that only 12.5 percent of Borrelia burgdorferi positive patients had symptoms.
Below is a list of reliable laboratories for Lyme disease testing.
Be sure to ask your LLMD (Lyme Literate Medical Doctor) about obtaining a test from these labs and make sure you are also tested for co-infections.
IGeneX, Inc.
797 San Antonio Rd., Palo Alto, CA 94303 USA
Tel. 650.424.1191 / 800.832.3200 Fax. 650.424.1196
Stony Brook
Laboratory for the diagnosis of Lyme disease
University Medical Center
Level 3 Room 701
State University of New York
Stony Brook, NY 11794-7305
631-444-3824
AVOID the “in house” spin on Lyme. Be sure to include the direction “PLEASE REPORT ALL BANDS, INCLUDING CDC NON-SPECIFIC BANDS.”
MDL Medical Diagnostic Laboratories
East Gate Business Center
133 Gaither Drive, Suite C MT.
Laurel, NJ (877) 269-0090
Central Florida Research, Inc.
Important New Tests:
CD-57. Research breakthroughs by Dr. Joseph Burrascano and Dr. Ray Stricker, Directors of ILADS (International Lyme and Associated Diseases Society) and long-time medical practitioners,, have shown a correlation between the CD-57 fighter cells and Lyme disease.
Call LabCorp at 1-800-888-1113. Ask for LabCorp Test # 505026, HNK (CD57) panel. As an alternative, contact Clinical Pathology Labs at 1-800-595-1275. Ask for Test # 4885, CD57 Panel for Lyme disease
PCR. The polymerase chain reaction (PCR) is a technique widely used in molecular biology, and is part of the Western Blot. However, there are many other sensitive PCR tests that can be used to identify infectious diseases including Chlamydia Pneumoniae, Secondary Porphyria and other co-infections.
Immunoserology. Immunosciences Lab is now providing a series of panels, which appear to be more sensitive than the Western Blot, and test for more sub-species antibodies and co-infections. Time will tell whether or not these panels will be helpful. For more information see
or
Another new test called VCS delivered by Dr. Shoemaker. Read about it here:
References:
The above information was taken from Guide to Lyme Disease from ; Reasons For False Negative Lyme Disease Test from ; and .
Anxiety
Chronic anxiety and other similar disorders such as agoraphobia, social phobia and/or panic disorder are characterized by obsessive thoughts which can eventually dominate the person’s way of life. If severe enough it can interfere with daily functioning, including work, school, social activities, and relationships. Although anxiety affects the way a person thinks, it can also lead to physical symptoms as well.
The following is a list of terms commonly used to describe the symptoms and sensations of Anxiety:
• Excessive, ongoing worry and tension
• Obsessive thoughts
• Restlessness or a feeling of being "edgy"
• Irritability
• Muscle tension
• Difficulty concentrating
• Trembling
• Being easily startled
• Chest pains or Heart problems
Depersonalization disorder
This disorder is characterized by a sudden sense of being outside yourself, observing your actions from a distance as though watching a movie. It may be accompanied by a perceived distortion of the size and shape of your body or of other people and objects around you. Time may seem to slow down, and the world may seem unreal. Symptoms may last only a few moments or may come and go over many years.
The following is a list of terms commonly used to describe the symptoms and sensations of Depersonalization:
• detached observer
• unreal
• numb
• walking dead
• divorced from oneself
• apart from everything
• unattached
• alone
• strange
• weird
• foreign
• unfamiliar
• unable to feel
• puppet-like
• robot-like
• acting a part
• two-dimensional
• able to hear my own voice
• having mechanical actions
• remote
• automated
• a spectator
• taken over
• witnessing ones own actions as if in a film or on a TV program
• not doing one's own thinking
• observing the flow of ideas in the mind as independent
In my experience with depersonalization, I felt disconnected from the world, as if almost in another dimension. It was almost as if my body shut down from the immense anxiety I was experiencing. I got to the point where I knew I had to “bridge” myself back into the world.
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Derealization
Unlike depersonalization, which effects the perception of one’s self, derealization is marked by a change in one’s experience of their environment, where the world around him or her feels unreal and unfamiliar.
The following is a list of terms commonly used to describe the symptoms and sensations of Derealization:
• feeling “high”
• feeling “drunk”
• spaciness
• like looking through a gray veil
• lost
• confused
• low IQ
• a sensory fog
• spaced-out
• being trapped in a glass bell jar
• in a goldfish bowl
• behind glass
• in a Disney-world dream state
• withdrawn
• feeling cut off or distant from the immediate surroundings
• being a spectator at some strange and meaningless game
• objects appear diminished in size
• objects appear to be not solid
• flat
• dream-like
• cartoon-like
• artificial
Derealization was more of a physical problem for me than depersonalization because it involved challenges with spacial relations. Coincidentally, my symptoms of derealization started only after I began taking antibiotics. It was only after I started heavy detoxing and killing the Lyme disease that derealization went away for me completely.
RECOVERY
Steps to Recovery
First, let me start by giving you the biggest hug! Chronic anxiety, depersonalization, derealization, and brain fog are very hard to suffer through because no one can really see them or understand them. I know how alone they can make you feel. For most, they cause a total disruption in your life causing you to lose relationships, your job, and generally causing you to be stagnant or debilitated in your life.
This website is not meant to be a doctor’s advice, but rather a personal account of my story, hopefully giving you insight and hope that there is a way of overcoming debilitating chronic anxiety, depersonalization, derealization, and brain fog. I hope that ultimately this website will teach you ways of dealing with an invisible illness and help you to get your life back!
Let me hold your hand and guide you through some steps for your recovery.
Like many, I tried every self-help book but that didn’t work. Why? Because soon I realized that it was all about me fixing me! I realized that in my tangled web of anxiety focusing on myself to fix myself was going to be a problem.
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Am I alone in this?
Living with chronic anxiety, depersonalization, derealization and brain fog due to other possible chronic illnesses such as Lyme disease can be a nightmare. The nightmare is not only living in the unknown, but also in the loneliness and the endless questions you ask yourself throughout the process.
Am I in the middle of a nightmare?
Is this really happening to me?
What happened to my life?
Is my life really over?
How do the doctors not know what’s wrong with me?
Does no one around me understand?
I am so scared.
If I don’t have my health I have nothing.
I have no more money left for these doctors!
Won’t someone please help me!?
These feelings are very understandable for someone with a chronic illness that affects the mind that doctors cannot see or don’t understand. It is very scary. Please let me help you and hold your hand through it. I lived with all of these questions for several years before I realized what needed to be done.
What I learned is that it is important, as with any illness, to FIRST tackle the emotional feelings connected to whatever you are experiencing. The reason is that your emotional and spiritual health is going to be your foundation to get you through the scary parts of healing the physical body.
What was interesting in my case is that once I started combating the emotional manifestations of Lyme disease, I only started feeling the physical symptoms of Lyme. It was almost as if the anxiety and depersonalization covered up the physical symptoms of Lyme.
Illness can be caused by a weakened immune system due to chronic stress, or in my case, a manifestation of chronic late state neurological Lyme disease (which was causing anxiety). This is why it is so important to help cure the anxiety and depersonalization before tackling the heart of the problem, which may be caused by a bacterial infection or something else.
Now I know what you are thinking … Your anxiety and depersonalization are emotionally based. Well … yes and no. There are a number of bacterial-borne and viral-borne diseases that cause depression and anxiety. If the infection stays long enough and causes major anxiety, then the person can have chronic depersonalization, which is the body’s way of protecting itself.
Dealing with the emotions or the emotional manifestations of any disease will help be a way of coping for any physical scary symptoms that come along during treatment and ultimately help keep your immune system in check to combat the disease once and for all.
Chronic Anxiety and Depersonalization
First, if you take anything from my experience, please take the following information in this section to heart.
In my process of recovery, I realized that there are three key ways of getting rid of chronic anxiety and depersonalization. And unfortunately, like most things in life, the key to getting what you want is a paradox.
Remember your mother telling you that you will meet someone when you least expect it? Or have you ever noticed when you act like you don’t need someone, people tend to flock to you? Well, getting out of chronic anxiety and depersonalization is a lot like that.
The three most important ways I discovered to get rid of anxiety are:
1. Taking the focus off of yourself
2. Bringing God/a higher power into your life
3. Becoming okay with death
I know you are probably saying, “How can I take the focus off of myself? I’m so frightened! How can I be okay with death when I already feel like I am the walking dead?” Well, it’s exactly these thoughts that are causing you to be “stuck” in anxiety. Taking the focus off of yourself, bringing a higher power into your life, and being okay with death will slowly pull you out of this vortex. They did for me.
Research shows that it takes 30 days to make a habit, and 3 months for it to stick. Let’s make a pact right now that we are going to try the above 3 keys for 90 days.
The Tangled Web
Depersonalization is at the top of this “tangled web.” Underneath is major anxiety and then once the anxiety goes away you are left with (in my case) a deadly bacterial infection. In a way this makes sense because when something is physically wrong with us the brain is ultimately the one that picks up on it. However, if your brain is already in fight or flight mode or “anxiety” mode -- that takes precedence over any physical ailment in your body. Unfortunately, the response from cortisol and the adrenaline gland is severely outdated. Our little stressors cause the body to go into defense mode, which severely takes precedence over any physical ailment.
So basically your body is doing its job! But, the key is to let your body know that there is no “fright or flight” going on and then once it realizes this then it can start feeling the physical feelings. Let me tell you briefly about my experience with depersonalization and anxiety. I look at it like an out of control web.
First my depression came. Then on top of the depression came anxiety. Then on top of the anxiety came depersonalization. So depersonalization is almost like a bunch of emotions wrapped up in a ball causing the person to, in a sense, become “emotionally numb.”
I found that most of my feelings with depersonalization were similar to an alcoholic or a drug addict. Maybe even worse than a drug addict. I felt the same way as a far gone homeless person on the street might feel. I actually remember having a conversation with one down near the village in Manhattan. He was talking about how he crossed this invisible line between the land of the living and the dead. Oh how I felt similar. However, instead of feeding those empty feelings with drugs, my feelings were filled with more anxiety and numbness.
Once the layer of depersonalization started to unravel, I started feeling for the first time, the anxiety set in. For about a month I didn’t know what to do with all these feelings (how to manage them), and then all of the sudden my physical symptoms came stirring about. These included chronic fatigue, dizziness, and heart palpitations. First and foremost it is important when dealing with depersonalization and anxiety to see a doctor and to get tested for Lyme and/or rule out any other diseases. Such tests out on the market are IGENEX. (I listed a few on this website.)
Second, it’s important to tackle the depersonalization and the anxiety because that is the only way you will be able to get better. Anxiety causes your immune system to weaken dramatically so it’s important even in the long haul of a chronic illness to keep your emotions in check.
Let’s begin telling your body that there is no “fright or flight” and get you out of anxiety!
Anxiety
The first key to conquering anxiety is realizing that you are powerless over it. Like so many people with anxiety, I tried cognitive behavioral therapy. The idea here is that for every negative thought you have to give yourself a positive thought. For example, one might say, “It’s okay. Everything is going to be okay with my financial situation.” The problem with this is that your conscious mind really thinks that everything is not okay. And it actually isn’t when you have four dollars left in your account!
Anxiety is almost like a vortex that goes around and around in a circle. Recovery is really a matter of pulling yourself out of this circle. To do this, you need to take action. Take action steps and then your head will follow. I promise!
Folks, I’ll be honest I tried every self-help book known to mankind! I would walk around the room talking to myself with various CDs and DVDs playing and I would say over and over again things like, “I am good.” “I am special.” “I am kind.” The problem with this method is that you can say these things many times over again, but depending on how you grew up, there is always a chance that you won’t believe these words -- and especially (at least in my case) with the financial worries! That was the worst! With four cents in your bank account do you really think it’s going to be okay? You tell yourself, “It’s okay. Everything is going to be okay with four cents in my bank account. Wait!? This has to be wrong!”
After awhile I started to recognize that I was constantly trying to control my anxiety and depersonalization by all of these positive self-help books and tapes. Then one day I realized I was totally powerless over everything. I threw all the tapes and books on the floor and that was my first step towards recovery.
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Are you ready to admit you are TOTALLY powerless over your anxiety and depersonalization?
Seeking Inner Help
God? Higher Power? Someone? Are you out there?
Don’t believe in God? You’re not alone. At times sometimes it’s hard understanding what type of God would let everything happen the way it has happened in the world. How could a God let you suffer like this? This was a huge question that I had for myself. However, in order to get out of anxiety it is important that you question whether there is a greater power in this world. A greater power is something that you can tap into every time with you feel any social anxiety or agoraphobia.
If your current idea of God is bad from what you grew up with and you keep having visions of an angry God then, well … fire that one! Make up your own. That’s right! For the longest time, I was angry at God when I started praying. I grew up in a Jewish household and had this vision of God as this angry man in the sky with a white beard. But I realized after months of praying that this vision of God wasn’t helping me at all. So I fired that God and got a new one. The one I found, which I have today is loving, gentle, kind and warm.
If connecting with a God isn’t going to work for you, then there are other possibilities you might consider. Try the following exercises.
Exercise: Microcosm/Macrocosm
The key to this exercise is to look at people and realize that we are all connected on an energetic level. The goal is to look beyond the physical and to expand your awareness of the world.
1. Start recognizing that everything around you is made of energy and cells. In fact, the chair you are sitting in is made up of millions of cells.
2. Next, center your attention to the area surrounding the chair. This chair is just one of many objects which take up a part of the house or space you are in.
3. Then, draw your attention outward from your home and realize that your home is just one out of thousands of other houses around you within a certain radius.
4. Next, envision this community around you and that it is just one out of hundreds and thousands of other communities in your state.
5. Then from here, center your thoughts on the earth. The earth is one of many planets. Then from that is a galaxy and stars. Then from the stars there are millions of galaxies and so on.
Try it! It can be cool. Go out and start looking at things as billions and billions of cells!
For more information about this exercise, visit these links:
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Exercise: Hire your own Personal Universe Assistant
Okay let’s start looking at the resumes! It’s time to hire your own personal universe assistant (PUA). In the movie Cast Away, we see Tom Hanks, who is lost and alone on a deserted island, find a ball and name it Wilson. Do you think he would have made it through without Wilson? Well I am asking you to find your own Wilson (whether it be a ball, a small rock, or something else that you can carry with you).
When I was ill with depersonalization and immense social anxiety I used to carry a seashell with me. I imagined this seashell as a living creature whose soul was with me at any moment that I was talking to people. I know it sounds crazy, but it works!
Having a “personal assistant” is something you can build on. Over time it’s power will become greater as you strengthen the muscle or the thoughts that something or someone else is with you in those moments when you are talking with people. Your personal assistant can even be someone special who passed away, but you must ask them first to be there with you at those times when you feel scare and your thoughts are going around and around.
Once you have a PUA, living with depersonalization, anxiety and any other illness gets a little easier. Make sure you talk to your PUA every night before you go to bed. Talk to it, him or her like a regular person. Over time this will get easier and soon you’ll be able to tap into your own inner wisdom.
The Self
Am I Self-Obsessed? But I’m such a good person!
Yes you are! Before you freak out and kick and scream and say, “Heather, I’m such a nice person!” let’s look at the definition of Self-Obsession.
Self-Obsession: A person who is chiefly concerned with him or herself.
That’s it! That’s all the definition is! It doesn’t mean you’re a bad person! In fact, you are a great person, but at some point in your life your thoughts became less about happiness and more about survival - and therefore all of your thoughts started to center around you. For instance, are you a people pleaser? Did you know that being a people-pleaser is actually considered being self-centered. How? Well, you’re so concerned with what people think about YOU -- not THEM -- but YOU!
Once your thoughts are in survival mode they go around and around and it is very hard to get out of this. At the center of your anxiety is self-centeredness, where you became chiefly concerned with how to get out of your situation. Slowly, the self-centered thoughts take you away from things you love and enjoy, and eventually overshadow all the precious moments of your life.
Soon this mummy-like web where you have been focused on yourself takes you more and more away from the world. There begins to be emptiness inside and the outside world becomes more and more distant. Resentments, anger and fear begin to take over, a fright or flight takes place. This spiral or vortex is the pinnacle of depersonalization. It’s the dark abyss of emotional numbness that slowly takes you away from the world.
Once you realize the ways in which you have been self-obsessed with fear, it’s so important to constantly take the focus OFF of yourself. I know this is hard, but IT WAS the way I got out of chronic anxiety and depersonalization.
Start asking yourself the following questions: When was the last time I really asked someone how THEY were doing? Have I really been listening to this other person? Can I see things from his or her perspective?
Moving out of Anxiety
The first way to unravel this heavy mummy-like web of anxiety is to begin asking people how they are doing and start looking at things from their perspective.
For example, if you are going to see a friend, bring your Personal Universe Assistant with you. Ask your personal assistant to be there with you when you are talking to your friend.
Next, as the person is talking, start thinking about their trials and tribulations and what they must be going through in their lives. This will put those nervous social anxiety thoughts to bed!
If this is impossible for you and you still find yourself anxious, you can try one of David Simon’s reflection exercises (see below).
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One great way of overcoming social anxiety that was really helpful for me comes from David Simon of the Chopra Center. He claimed that the whole is contained in every bit. Every aspect of the universe is in each of us. In fact your mind contains every thought that will be expressed. It is the entryway to freedom. You contain everything you see in others. So it is important to find and embrace everything we love and hate in other people. When we reclaim these disowned aspects of ourselves we make peace with the world. We can stop pretending that we are not everything.
Visit this link to learn more about David Simon and his reflection exercises:
Shadow Exercise
Debbie Ford’s shadow process was a great way for me to start overcoming social anxiety. It is based on the fact that our lives are molded by judgments. These judgments say, “I am not like you.” Our culture teaches us to believe that we are different from the rest, and as a result, this has created internal and external barriers. Debbie ways that there is nothing we can see that we are not. In other words, basically whatever you see is a reflection of you!
Step One: If you see someone that is bothering you or you don’t like something about that person. Ask yourself: what kind of person does that? If say the person is cheap. Ask yourself what kind of person would be cheap? Maybe someone who doesn’t care about other people? Someone who is insensitive?
Step Two: Then ask yourself have I ever displayed that quality? Where in my life have I been insensitive?
The point of this exercise is not to demean you, but rather to look at these traits in others so you can own them in yourself. We typically judge people when they display a quality we cannot accept in ourselves. Basically about it is the old saying what you resist persists! Ever notice when you point a finger you have three pointing back at yourself?!
Reverse Reflection Exercise: If the person isn’t treating you the way you should be treated or if this person doesn’t understand. Note the quality he or she doesn’t like about you and then ask yourself if this is just a quality he/she just doesn’t accept in him or herself. Feel sorry for them and move on! You’re becoming a better person!
Small Child Exercise:
Depending on the person you are talking to, if there are certain qualities that are causing you to be scared, it might be important to look at the other person as a small child. That person had a parent that might or might not have taught them how to act as a civil person.
Visit this link for more information about these exercises:
Going out there and talking to other people
Putting it all together…
Step one: Approach the person and ask your personal assistant to please be there for you when you are talking to this person.
Step two: If you continue to feel nervous, say to yourself: “Calm down ____________, you are just thinking of yourself right now and you are in self-centered fear. Try to think of this person. He or she might be having their own problems.
Step Three: Ask yourself if they have any problems and how they might be feeling.
Step Four: Do the Reverse Reflection Exercise. Whatever they are thinking about you is a reflection of what they can’t accept in themselves.
Step Five: Do the Reflection Exercise. Don’t like a quality in them? Ask yourself what type of person would do that and ask yourself when you displayed that quality.
Step Six: Do the Small Child Exercise. Look at them as a small child.
Step Seven: Thank your personal assistant when you leave this person! Remember, don’t just “use” your personal assistant. Establish a real relationship with this invisible lifesaver!
Confronting Fear
Fear analysis: Spiral method
Ahh … Fear. This is pretty much the problem with anxiety and depersonalization. It is self-centered fear.
Here are some particular fears I had:
• I don’t know who I am
• I’m not really living while everyone was going on with their lives
• I’m not able to connect
• My soul is dying.
When I was coming out of depersonalization there was this great exercise that I did which really got to the root of my fear. Want to know what the root of most of fear is? Not that you’re broke or your house is being foreclosed but rather—death and being alone. Strange right? Let’s try an example:
Example:
I have fear that I’ll get fired. If I get fired I’ll be poor. If I’m poor than I wont have a place to live. If I don’t have a place to live I’ll be homeless. If I’m homeless I’ll be alone, if I am abandoned in this world then Ill be lost, if I am lost Ill struggle to survive, If I struggle to survive people around me will slip away, if people slip away then Ill die never knowing myself, if I die Ill DIE.
Wow! Look at that DEATH is the last one.
Lets try this again…
I have fear that my sister is mad at me, if my sister is mad at me then she’ll never talk to me again, if she never talks to me again, I’ll be alone, if I’m alone, I’ll DIE.
DEATH and being alone again…well I guess that PUA and being at ease with DEATH is important after all—its at the root of your fear.
Fear: I have a fear because ________(do the above spiral method).
Then ask your Personal Universe Assistant to please remove your fears and direct your attention to what you would have me be.
Coming to terms with Death and BEING ALONE:
Did you know that most people that are happy with life are actually okay with death? Ironic huh? Let’s do an exercise. My professor asked us to do a homework assignment where we had to write an obituary as if we died today. I remember sitting at that computer with the cursor blinking for hours. How could I possibly write an obituary as if I died today? I couldn’t die no matter how much I wanted to end my pain.
What was interesting is that if you were to ask me my definition of being ready, I would give you a vision of me as a grandmother, having a family, children, grandchildren, a career and a life filled with love. However, I then realized that this is just my definition of being “ready.” Other people might be ready by confession, religious means such as getting closer to God, seeing or living in a place that they never heard before or truly mentally ready to die through suicide or other mental illness. I think also that this vision of being “ready” or being a grandmother in my old age has a lot to do with our society and what I grew up believing. Years ago many didn’t live to see this old age and therefore I think that their perception of being “ready” was different. Moreover, some career driven people might think that their time of being “ready to go” is when they are financially successful.
Regardless of what being “ready” is, it is only in my self-assessment of falling short (i.e. not having a family or being too young to die) when I realized the difficulty of writing an obituary as if I died today. I think the difficulty lies in the emotions that come with it such as fear, anxiety, hopelessness, loss, sadness and uneasiness. I also realized with these emotions came a variety of unanswered questions such as: what happens to me when I die? What happens to my soul? Does my soul live on? Is there a heaven? I guess I never know but now realize that for me having faith in something greater than myself might bring me closer to being ready.
There is one fundamental question you should ask yourself if you are fearful of dying and most of your “fear spiral exercises” lead to death or loneliness. The question you should continue to ask yourself if “what happens to me when I die? Where did all these people who died before me go?”
I started asking questions about life, the cosmic universe, who made the stars and whether there was something beyond this world. Another question to that is important to ask is why people are in your life? Wouldn’t it be cool if some force was bringing things in your life to help you and lead you to a path where you are supposed to be? Also start asking yourself if these people are in your life as a coincidence?
So, next time you check out your groceries and the lady says, “have a good day,” ask yourself if your PUA put her in your life to say that! It’s kinda cool!
Outside Support
The importance of support groups and consistency: the Bridge back to life
I really started taking a major turn in my depersonalization when I started attending support groups. It’s so important that you get a support group with people who have success stories. This is another way of taking the focus off yourself and using these people’s stories to change your thoughts about the hopelessness and despair. Similar to what we discussed above with your body’s fright or/flight mode this will start to put your body at ease hearing stories of people who experienced the same feelings and setbacks as you did and fully recovered. It is important that you find a support group that meets frequently and one that has various success stories. There are many support groups online such as Dailystrength, Yahoo, Google. It is important to find one that suits you best.
What is more important than going to these support groups is consistency. The key to getting out of depersonalization is Consistency and Action. It was very hard at first but when I started going to support groups to overcome by debilitating depersonalization and anxiety, I would go about four times a day! Hearing the speaker speak in the morning, late morning, afternoon and night was a way of breaking up those endless and hopeless thoughts. I would go four times a day when my anxiety was really bad. Depending on how bad your depersonalization is listening to other peoples stories and their stories of hope might almost be similar to an exorcism or an inner fight. However, I feel that this is truly a bridge back to the real world. It’s a way of quieting that voice that constantly asks yourself, “Can’t anyone understand this condition?” “Am I alone in this depersonalization hell?”
What even more important is actions come before thoughts. It’s interesting that we are always taught that thoughts come before actions. Example: let’s say I was thinking that I wanted something to eat. The natural thing would be to think first “I am hungry”, recognize it and then walk or do some sort of ACTION to go to the store and get what you wanted. Unfortunately, for those of us with anxiety and depersonalization our thoughts are so out of whack that you should rarely trust any of these thoughts! I used to look at going to meetings like going to the gym. Your initial thoughts aren’t wanting to go, but if you just walk to the gym and don’t think about it and get on the machine you will feel better. Do this a couple of times a day for a couple of months, Viola! A new you!
So now…were going to reverse things. Rather than thinking first you are going to ACT first and then think. What do I mean by this? Lets say you are on your way to recovering from anxiety. First I say congratulations! You can do it! Next, go to the nearest support group.
Are you thinking? Don’t think. Tell yourself you’ll think later when you’re there. Continue putting off thinking and do everything out of pure actions. The first couple of days will be very very tough. It will be hard to hear people speak because of all the noise in your head. Keep going and white knuckle it. Can I ask you a question? What other option do you have? I can tell you my experience I would go to three meetings a day just to get out of the depersonalization.
Now would be a good time to start asking for help from a higher power. Call 3 people once a day. Call people you trust and tell them that it is hard for you to talk to them. This is why it is so important to join a support group because these people will understand it when you say how you are feeling. They will be able to relate to you. The first three months going to a support group consistently (the more the merrier) is going to be the hardest thing you will do.
Dealing with friends and family that can’t understand:
This is a tough because sometimes family can make being in anxiety, depersonalization or sick with a disease of the mind hard because you well you “look fine.” It is so important at this point to look at that person as “sick and suffering.” We are all a reflection of each other so basically that exercise where I had you look at other people and asking what type of person would do that is exactly what they are doing! But they don’t have the tools like you do.
Also, if this family member is abusive to you its so important to try to look at them like a small child. You might look at them and the fact that they are “in the world” and you’re not as “better than you.” But really they are not doing much better than you and whatever is bothering them could be all about them. You have to ask how you have been hurt by them. Then finally it’s so helpful to write a letter to this person who has hurt you but write it to them as a child and not the way you see them now.
And if there is someone that is abusive to you and they call you and constantly yell at YOU for the bad things that are going on in their lives—REMEMBER that is THEIR misfortune NOT yours. Everyone has their own PUA and path. It is important not to take on other people’s suffering as your own.
I hope this was helpful for all of you. I wish you all health and recovery. Honestly, I know how scary it is and please remember that there are people out there that understand completely.
MY TREATMENT
My Treatment
Dear Friends,
Below I am sharing with you my notes on my journey to health over these past few years. I have met some remarkable people who have helped me along the way, including Lyme Literate Medical Doctors (LLMDs), alternative medicine doctors, and US Track and Field athlete Perry Fields, who healed from a long battle with chronic Lyme disease. I want to point out that with Lyme disease, it’s so important to have a mentor, be able to trust people, and be open minded to the unknown. Sometimes healing is a scary place to be because it’s unknown and it’s your body trying to readjust itself after years of illness.
It has been shown through research that at the core of Lyme disease is toxicity and chronic infections. Lyme disease encompasses a whole lot more than just the Lyme bacteria itself. There are many different problems that cause the typical Lyme patient to have many debilitating symptoms. Such problems include co-infections, mold, heavy metal toxicity, problems with the adrenal glands, liver, interference fields, Candida, parasites, and a comprised immune system and detoxification pathways.
Please note that the below list is what I did after seeing various LLMD’s (Lyme Literate Medical Doctors) who properly tested me for Lyme disease and after years of antibiotics. If you suspect that you have Lyme disease or have just contracted it, I urge you to see a LLMD and get tested. These doctors are very well informed about the disease.
Here are some of the things I did to get better:
Interference Fields
Interference fields are scars, jaw infections/devitalized teeth, or chronic localized infections (tonsils, appendix, sinuses). All of these could be causing a Lyme patient’s immune system to be compromised. Many doctors have found a link between chronic infection in the jaw and Lyme disease including a deficient detoxification system. If the detoxification pathways are already low and there is also a persistent infection in the mouth, many have argued that getting over Lyme would be that much more difficult and taxing on the patient’s immune system.
Diagnostic Supplemental Tests:
a. First I saw if there were interference fields or some dental issue that might be causing compromising my immune system and therefore inhibiting my body from properly detoxing and ridding itself of Lyme. After having a thermal imaging test done (see below), I found that I had a major dental infection called a cavitation, which was causing my immune system to be compromised.
Cavitation is infected bone, which can occur after the removal of wisdom teeth or a root canal. A cavitation is a hole in the bone, usually where a tooth has been removed and the bone has not filled in properly. When a tooth is being extracted, in a normal dental procedure, the surrounding periodontal membrane is usually left behind. When a tooth has been pulled, the body will eventually fill in the space in the bone where the tooth once was. When this membrane is left behind, an incomplete healing can take place, which can leave a hole or a spongy place inside the jaw bone.
Inside a cavitation bacteria flourish and deviant cells multiply. Cavitations act as a breeding ground for bacteria and their toxins. I was also told that cavitations can also cause blockages in the body’s energy meridians and can exert far-reaching impact on the overall system. Some even say that cavitations are reservoirs of huge amounts of mercury or a source of low level or high level stress on the entire body.**
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b. Thermal Imaging. Below is an example of thermal imaging which is taken from Dr. Dawn Ewing’s website. It shows where there might be an infection in the patient’s body. In the person below there is redness all down her neck and in the back of the jaw, which would be a sign of an infection or cavitation. In addition, typical on most Lyme patients is redness or a possible infection down the spine (in the picture on the right). This is where most of the bacteria and viruses are. If it’s near the teeth and your jaw is red, then you could have an infection that could be causing your immune system to be compromised.
c. Meridian Stress Testing. This I recommend!! With all the testing out there I think this was the greatest one to show if I had heavy metals and a dental infection.
Meridian Stress Assessment has to do with testing the meridians associated with Chinese medicine or acupunture. Meridians are channels through which energy flows in the body. Each organ, gland and body structure has an associated meridian, including the teeth.
If someone had a bad tooth, or in my case, a bad infection where my wisdom teeth were, the energy flow through the merdian would be altered. This can affect the health of all the other organs on that meridian. For example, the upper left first molar tooth, is on the same meridian with the kidneys, liver, spleen, stomach, and breast. So, if this tooth has a problem, it may affect energy flow through the meridian and health of those organs as well.
Meridian stress testing also has the capability of testing heavy metals in the mouth. Meridian Stress Testing
Heavy Metals
Heavy metals are becoming a huge problem in our society. One heavy metal such as mercury, is significantly more toxic than lead or aluminum. Being infected with Lyme disease presents a special problem when it comes to heavy metal toxicity, as Borellia Burgdorfi and other co-infections are thought to sequester metals. When they die, they release these metals into the body. Finally, Lyme disease sufferers tend to have detoxification problems, and are likely to accumulate and retain metals at a greater rate than a person with fewer health problems.
The use of mercury and silver amalgams have been reported to be a problem with people with Lyme. According to some sources not only does this add to metal toxicity but also affects the nerves in the human body. If it is too much to handle then it might react by swelling in the joints, pain and eventual deterioration of healthy tissue or organs. If a Lyme patient suspects that they have metal fillings, many doctors recommend seeing a biological dentist to get these removed.
The heavy metals most often implicated in human poisoning are lead, mercury, arsenic, and cadmium. Some heavy metals, such as zinc, copper, chromium, iron, and manganese, are required by the body in small amounts, but these same elements can be toxic in larger quantities.
Once in the body, they compete with and displace essential minerals such as zinc, copper, magnesium, and calcium, and interfere with organ system function. Toxic heavy metals have been said to lead to a decline in the mental, cognitive, and physical health of the individual. Many have actually found a link between autism and Lyme disease, including LIA also known as the Lyme-induced Autism Foundation.
Because Lyme has an effect on mental and cognitive health of the Lyme patient, doing a heavy metal detox as well as removing metal fillings is recommended.
What I Did:
• Once I saw an infection around my jaw with thermal imaging and the meridian stress test, I saw a Biological Dentist.
• After the visit I also made sure that I was brushing my teeth with a non-fluoride toothpaste. One example is Oxyfresh Toothpaste
• I read this article which really scared me about the bad side of Fluoride in our water system: Fluoride water
Purchase a Water Filter
Purchasing a water filter was one of the most important things I did for Lyme. Tap water, despite the regulations to keep it pure, is becoming filled with contaminants. Many sources point out prescription drugs are finding their way into our water systems, chemicals which can interrupt the production of thyroid hormones are finding their way, and heavy metals such as mercury, arsenic, chromium, cadmium, nickel and lead. Another problem in our water is said to be chlorine and fluoride which have been linked to bone weakening.
I purchased a good water filter.
• Reverse Osmosis
• Kagen Water
• Water Filter info
Calming Anxiety
1. Bach Flower Rescue Remedy
2. Moon Drops
EMF’s (Electromagnetic fields)
Electromagnetic Fields have a damaging effect to Lyme disease sufferers. Every cell of your body is made up of energy and it has been said that outside EMF’s can disrupt our inter- and intra-cellular communication. Because EMF’s can have a damaging effect on our immune systems, I purchased a couple of products that lessened my electrosensitivity.
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2. Blue Tube Headset
3. Biopro Technology
Frequency Healing/Light Healing
Frequency healing can help stimulate connective tissue in the body known as the extra-cellular matrix. These tissues store nutrients and toxins that are either delivered into the cells or excreted into the blood stream or Lymph. Such devices for frequency healing, such as the Ondamed, send finely tuned frequencies to the person according to their condition. Each organ in the body generates a specific frequency; every virus, bacteria, parasite and fungus produces its own frequency as well.
Frequencies stimulate the cells and this has many benefits including: enhancing the release of toxins; reducing inflammation; improving absorption of nutrients into the cells; increasing cellular repair and regeneration; reducing edema; reducing the effects of geopathic and electromagnetic stress all of which lead to a more balanced metabolism and an increase in vitality.
Here are the following devices I used for frequency healing which was complementary to my Lyme treatment.
• Ondamed Machine
• Multi Wave Oscillator (the machine is great, but as with anything make sure that it is right for you.)
• Zero Point Marketing
• Charged Water Tube
• Frequency Card
• MRS2000 (haven’t done this but people swear by it)
• Bionic 880 (haven’t done this but people swear by it)
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Repairing Lost Minerals and Vitamins and Electrolytes
Many Lyme patients are depleted in minerals such as copper, magnesium, manganese and iron because Borrelia burgdorferi and Bartonella bacteria feed on minerals. Therefore, providing your body with enough mineral reserves is essential to a Lyme Treatment.
• After Perry Fields told me that bacteria feeds on minerals I knew I needed to take them everyday pronto! EVERY DAY for the past 6 months ‘Ive been taking these Minerals.
• Vitamins and Supplements
• Minerals
• Electrolytes
o Once I started balancing out my electrolytes my heart palpitations went away.
o You can also purchase Coconut waters such as Zico or VitaCoco.
• Cellfood
Inflammation
Inflammation from Lyme is said to be your body’s response from chronic infection. With toxins present, Lyme plays a huge role in causing inflammation in the body. Inflammation blocks oxygen flow to cells by suppressing the immune system. Without oxygen, red blood cells can't get through the capillaries in order to make it to the tissues. As a result, cells don't get the nutrients they need, which has a multitude of negative implications for the body. Cells need oxygen and nutrients in order to function.
Aloe Vera juice from the pure Aloe Vera gel has 12 natural substances that have been shown to inhibit inflammation without side effects. Aloe Vera juice may also support proper joint, muscle mobility and digestion.
Aloe Juice
Detoxification
Detoxification is so important to those with Lyme disease because most of the sufferers have compromised detoxification systems. Once the Lyme baceteria is killed off, toxins are emitted from the bacteria,which need to be properly flushed out of the system.
Detoxing Methods that have worked:
I made sure I did something everyday to get rid of the infection and detox.
• Coffee Enemas
• Ionic Foot Bath
• Detox pads
• Psyillum Husk/Benoite Clay: this combination is for removing toxins inside the digestive system. It is recommended to not take these with nutrients.
• Infared Sauna:
• Rebounding on a little trampoline
• Skin Brushing-whistle brush (groin, back of head, below chin, armpit towards the heart)
• Tox Away clay baths: This is the one I used. Tox Away. I used the Tox Away one)
• Pekana: (haven’t tried it but some swear by it)
• Burbur by Nutramedix, Pekana homeopathy detoxes for lymph/liver/kidney and Modified Citrus Pectin (binder)
• Note: I always found that detoxing was better at night! Try it.
• Sunglasses are also another way of curing some of the symptoms. [pic]
More on Heavy Metals
Heavy metals can wreck havoc with our nervous system. They are implicated in Alzheimer’s disease, multiple sclerosis, trichotilomania, fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, Lyme disease, migraine headaches, insomnia, and Parkinson’s disease. They are also implicated in brain fog and many other mental conditions including depression, anxiety, autism, ADHD, obsessive compulsive disorder, mood swings and many more.
Heavy metals are natural components of the earth and we need to ingest some of them in trace amounts to survive. The amount of metals we are now exposed to is hundreds of times higher than in the past. This is due to several factors: pollution, manufacturing practices, pharmaceuticals, modern dentistry, various industrial products, fertilizers, pesticides, herbacides, and fungacides that contaminate the environment. In short, it is not only in the plants we eat, it is also in the air we breathe, the water we drink and bathe in, the amalgams that dentists put in our teeth, the insecticides we spray on the ants in our houses, the over-the-counter and prescribed medications we take for common ailments, and in the pots, pans, and foils we cook and wrap our food in. Consequently, our bodies and the bodies of the animals we eat, including farm animals and fish, have become concentrated warehouses of heavy metals.
Heavy metals can cause many problems in the nerves and brain.
My heavy metal protocol was very important and really helped improve my health. I used broken cell wall Chorella powder and then a tincture bottle for the cilantro. I was on this protocol for four months. I made sure to take the Chorella everyday (3 ¼ teaspoons a day with water) and the cilantro (10 drops 3x a day) every two weeks for one week.
▪ Chorella (I used broken cell wall Chorella powder in a bag of 500 g)
▪ Cilantro
▪ Oil pulling
▪ Zeolite
Digestive Issues/Restoring Good Bacteria/Gut Repair
People living with Lyme disease are often deficient in a number of very important nutrients, including vitamins (especially B12 and other B vitamins), antioxidants (especially coenzyme-Q10 and alpha-lipoic acid), minerals (especially magnesium), fatty acids (especially omega-3's and GLA), and amino acids (especially carnitine). Those nutrient deficiencies due to poor digestion can leave the body unable to repair itself. In addition, taking months of antibiotics can be taxing on the digestive system by killing off the good bacteria.
• Reflorestation Kit
• Probiotics
• Permability Factors
• GlutAloemine
Killing Lyme
I started killing off the Lyme after detoxing for several months. After reducing the load of toxins, killing off Lyme got a little easier.
There were lots of great things that I did to kill the Lyme. Some of the great products that I used include the ones below.
1. Parasite Cleanse (However, before I did this I made sure I was detoxing for at least three weeks.)
2. Two Feathers Healing Formula
3. LDM-100 Antibacterial Formula
4. Samento:
5. High C-IV. I did this several times to kill off some of the Lyme.
6. Salt and C protocol. This is taken with 3g of salt and powder Vitamin C taken with water as a drink 4 times a day. I did this one week on and one week off. I used this salt, which was great! . The Salt/C was pretty powerful.
7. Oregano. I only used one drop of this in apple juice a day after all these other protocols. I thought at the time that it was best to only do one drop. I did feel that oregano depleted me in Iron at times so this is something to watch for.
Nutrition
When I was suffering with intense chronic Lyme, it was crucial to improve my overall diet, which included increasing the intake of specific foods that may be useful as rich sources of nutrients, and using optimal levels of micronutrient supplements, along with herbs. With Lyme, I began to experience a host of food sensitivities. This lessened once I properly changed my diet by eating mostly organic foods and a diet free of gluten and dairy.
• I eat a gluten free and dairy free diet. I try to stay away from processed sugar, alcohol and caffeine. I make sure that I eat organic most of the time.
• May favorite places to get sweets when I am craving chocolate:
o Raw Chocolate
o Wild Bar
o Amazing grass
o Baby Cakes
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Liver Repair
Because the liver is in charge of reducing toxins in the body, it is overloaded in a Lyme patient. The liver is known as the organ of anger, rage, resentment, and lack of forgiveness. In fact, it has been said by many healers that any emotion that is toxic and needs to be processed and released can get stuck in the liver if one is not doing the inner work to release it.
The more these toxic emotions accumulate, the more compromised the liver becomes. I was shocked when I heard that this was really a physical fact. Essentially all emotions are biochemical events. The chemistry that comes along with emotions like anger, rage, resentment, fear, hopelessness, hurt, shame, self-pity, etc. all get processed in the liver. When these emotions become chronic, the chemicals related to the production of that emotion create toxic overload.
I found that once I started using methods to detox my liver, my emotions were more stable.
• Milk Thistle
• Liver and Gallbladder Formula
Colostrum
Colostrum is a nutrient that comes from cow's milk. It contains a complete formula of essential vitamins, minerals, essential fatty acids, amino acids, immune factors and growth factors. Colostrum was designed by nature as part of mother's milk to help the young grow up strong and healthy.
• Colustrum
Antioxidents
Antioxidants can prevent, or slow, the oxidative damage to our body. Antioxidants are substances or nutrients in our foods that can prevent or slow the oxidative damage to our body by mopping away the free radicals. They help to prevent cell and tissue damage, which is prevalent in a chronic infection of Lyme.
• Yerba Mate
• Alpha Lipoic Acid
Hormones
Lyme patients are being diagnosed with hormonal imbalances that are complicating their immune systems. Because hormones are important for regulating the immune system, treatment of these imbalances can be a necessary component to treating Lyme disease.
Many Lyme patients have complications with the thyroid and pituitary gland and adrenal glands, which are all glands regulating hormones.
I used the following to help regulate my hormones.
• Treasure
• Cramp Bark
• Chaste Tree
Prevention
• Defense. This is great and keeps the parasites down.
Adrenals
Adrenal glands play a huge role in fighting illness, and are heavily involved in many of the body's metabolic processes. They also help to regulate blood sugar and blood pressure. Cortisol, one of the body's three major hormones; is responsible for a multitude of activities in the body. Many Lyme patients experience never-ending fatigue which is a symptom of problems with their adrenal glands.
Source:
• Siberian Ginsing
• Licorice
• vitamin B complex
Thyroid
Many people with Lyme can experience either hypothyroidism or hyperthyroidism which can mimic many symptoms of major depression, including forgetfulness, low energy and the inability to concentrate. One thing I used was iodine.
• Iodine *Speak to your doctor before starting any Iodine supplement
• Spectra 303T
Oxygen
It has been said that ozone mitigates some of the negative effects Lyme disease has on the body. It has the power to neutralize neurotoxin and re-establish a healthy bio-terrain. It is also very alkalizing, which combats the acidic condition created by Lyme disease. **
• Ozonated Water Machine
Lastly once you are better: Live, Love and Never forget how strong you are as a person.
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NOTE: Because I’m not a doctor I just want to stress that the protocol discussed above has just been my protocol for what has gotten me better in the past six months. I think everything I listed has been a major contributor to my healing. I can’t make any claims as to how these products may or may not help in your individual case or whether or not these may be useful for your unique body. Please, if you have any questions about a product, ask your doctor or naturopath and they might be able to help you.
Resources:
The Herxheimer Reaction
Also known as the “healing crises,” this reaction is when the body tries to eliminate toxins at a faster rate than they can be properly disposed of. You may feel worse but these reactions are actually signs that the treatment is working and that your body is going through the process of cleaning itself of impurities and toxins.
With any detoxification many of your organs are going to be taxed. In fact, I found that Lyme was only half my problem towards the latter stages. Many of my organs were overburdened.
When any treatment or cleansing program causes a large-scale die off of bacteria, they are released into the body. The more bacteria present, the more endotoxins, and the stronger the cleansing reaction.
The healing crises will bring about past conditions in any order or even new conditions. Some of the symptoms I experienced were extreme fatigue, cramps, headache, aches, pains, arthritic flair up, fever, chills, crazy emotions, mood swings, anxiety and much more.
Tricks and Tips to Easing the Herxheimer Reaction:
1. Try using activated charcoal.
2. Drink plenty of water with lemon (for some reason the lemon used to help me).
3. Symptoms frequently disappear immediately after a bowel movement. If you are having problems, use an enema or look into a coffee enema.
4. EFT or Emotional Freedom Technique is helpful.
5. Eat lots of rice! It really does soak up the toxins and is great.
6. Take an ionic foot bath. This really relieves some of the brain fog and causes there to be a release in your head. When you are doing this make sure you have plenty of minerals.
Tips for You that Helped Me with My Symptoms
TIP 1: I found that sun was great for lessening my symptoms. Wearing sunglasses in the sun was awesome at taking away the fog.
TIP 2: Be careful with who you share your treatments with. I sometimes would tell people what I was doing and they thought I was crazy. Confide in people that understand. You don’t want to second-guess yourself. I sometimes felt like everyone had their own opinion about how to get better. There are so many treatments out there for Lyme disease that it’s hard to know which one will work for you. Trust whatever practitioner you are working with and your intuition and you’ll be fine.
TIP 3: Eating rice really does soak up toxins.
TIP 4: Water with lemon is great!
TIP 5: I found activated charcoal great for lessening symptoms.
TIP 6: You know you are getting better when you are able to go out during the time that has been typically worse for you. What I mean is that my Lyme friends and I had a joke. Some of us were “better” at night and others were “better” or more functional during the day. I was always worse at night but now luckily I’m able to go out at night!
TIP 7: Try to rearrange your furniture every three months or so and incorporate some positive colors into your home. It’s a small thing to do, but every little change gives you a sense of hope and that your life is changing. I remember most days were like groundhogs day. Making these little changes will give you that needed boost that your life is changing for the better!
TIP 8: When your head is hot and you have that flushing feeling, drink some aloe. I bought some on Perry Field’s website which I thought was great.
RESOURCES
Helpful Books
BOOKS/WORKBOOKS
I’m delighted to share with you some books that have helped me throughout my journey of recovery and healing:
Depersonalization/Chronic Anxiety
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|Although Lyme disease is a physical illness, dealing with the emotional side of it can be very challenging. Throughout my illness, I sometimes felt that the immense | |
|depression, anxiety or depersonalization was unbearable. The fear of death was also very scary. | |
|90 Minutes in Heaven was a great book to read during those nights when I really felt like I was going to die. When I was suffering from major derealization, I thought my| |
|time on this earth would be short-lived. My anxiety about death was immense and somehow entertaining the possibility of there being a life after death really put me at | |
|ease during those scary times. | |
|Conversations with God was a great book to read during those times of loneliness. The skills that Neale Walsh discusses give you great tips for how to hone and sharpen | |
|that “inner voice” that we all have. When you’re in doubt it is that voice that helps you navigate what is right for you. | |
|Addiction to Love was a book that I read after three months of intensive work doing step-work to get out of depersonalization. Underneath the depersonalization (where | |
|you are emotionally numb), are a lot of different emotions. It is at this point in unraveling this mummy-like web of anxiety that I wanted anything to take me away from | |
|feeling emotions. This is where a lot of the tendencies to become an addict come into play. One of the most serious and dangerous addictions that no one talks about is | |
|the addiction to love. A lot of 12-step first timers say that when you first start the steps it is recommended not to enter into a relationship with someone for a year | |
|because you need to give yourself some time to find out who you are. I thought this was a great book! | |
|The Dark Side of the Light Chasers was amazing at calming my social anxiety. Some of the tips on Debbie Ford’s CD are remarkable to use when trying to look at the world | |
|differently and when talking to people. I highly recommend listening to her CD for social phobia! | |
|The Complete ACOA Sourcebook: Adult Children of Alcoholics at Home, at Work and in Love was a great book if you come from a broken home or from a family where addiction,| |
|anxiety, depression and anger are present. This book is not just for children of Alcoholics but rather adult children from difficult families that were forced to play a | |
|certain role within their families. It was very interesting and possibly the best book explaining family dynamics. | |
|A God Box was great to have by my bedside. Every time I had a wish I would write it down and place it in the box and for some reason each one came true! | |
|The Big Book 12 Step Guides really helped me get out of chronic depersonalization. I highly recommend these and working on the steps to help “bridge” you back to the | |
|world. Each step has lengthy answers that you have to go through but I highly recommend this series. | |
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|The Top 10 Lyme Disease Treatments was the first book I read when I got diagnosed. This is a no-nonsense book that clearly describes different successful treatments that| |
|people have used to overcome Lyme disease. I highly recommend this book! | |
|When Antibiotics Fail: Lyme Disease and Rife Machines was a great book much like his others. This book gives an in-depth discussion of how to begin treating Lyme with | |
|Rife machines. I thought this was a great book! | |
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|Cure Unknown is a popular Lyme disease book that looks inside the history of the epidemic. | |
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|Lyme Disease Survival Guide and Insights into Lyme Disease Treatment were great books to read for Lyme. The books offer insights into Lyme disease and show different | |
|treatments and perspectives of the disease from 13 different practitioners. | |
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|Additional books I found helpful: | |
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|Victoria Bowmann, Ph.D.: You Gotta Have GUTS: The Natural Approach to G.I. Health is a great book. She is a pioneer in pro-biotic research and this book offers the | |
|wisdom of her many years of clinical experience. It is written in a lighthearted, easy-to-read way. | |
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