Strengthening the Family - Church Of Jesus Christ

[Pages:120]Strengthening The Family

Instructor's Guide

STRENGTHENING THE FAMILY

INSTRUCTOR'S GUIDE

Published by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

Salt Lake City, Utah

"PRAY IN YOUR FAMILIES UNTO THE FATHER, ALWAYS IN MY NAME,

THAT YOUR [FAMILIES] MAY BE BLESSED."

3 NEPHI 18:21

CONTENTS

"The Family: A Proclamation to the World" ............................................................................iv Guidelines for the Instructor....................................................................................................v 1. Parenting Principles and Practices ........................................................................................1 2. Understanding Child Development ....................................................................................11 3. Communicating with Love ................................................................................................23 4. Nurturing Children ..........................................................................................................33 5. Fostering Confidence..........................................................................................................45 6. Overcoming Anger ............................................................................................................55 7. Resolving Conflict..............................................................................................................69 8. Teaching Responsible Behavior ..........................................................................................79 9. Applying Consequences ....................................................................................................89 Appendix ..............................................................................................................................99

PHOTOGRAPHY CREDITS Except as noted below, all photography is by Robert Casey. ? Robert Casey. Do not copy. Page xii: Christina Smith. Page 12 (top): ? Superstock. Do not copy. Page 22 (top): Matt Reier. Page 44 (top): ? Steve Bunderson. Do not copy. Page 44 (bottom): ? Dynamic Graphics, Inc. ? 2006 by Intellectual Reserve, Inc. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. English approval: 8/02

THE FAMILY

A PROCLAMATION TO THE WORLD

THE FIRST PRESIDENCY AND COUNCIL OF THE TWELVE APOSTLES

W OF THE CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST OF LATTER-DAY SAINTS

E, THE FIRST PRESIDENCY and the Council of the Twelve

to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to

Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints,

teach them to love and serve one another, observe the com-

solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a

mandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever

woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to

they live. Husbands and wives--mothers and fathers--

the Creator's plan for the eternal destiny of His children.

will be held accountable before God for the discharge of

ALL HUMAN BEINGS--male and female--are created in the

image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of

these obligations.

THE FAMILY is ordained of God. Marriage between man and

heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and

woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled

destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual

to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by

premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.

a father and a mother who honor marital vows with com-

IN THE PREMORTAL REALM, spirit sons and daughters knew

and worshipped God as their Eternal Father and accepted His plan by which His children could obtain a physical body and gain earthly experience to progress toward perfection and ultimately realize their divine destiny as heirs of eternal life. The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave. Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally.

THE FIRST COMMANDMENT that God gave to Adam and Eve

plete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circum-

pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and

stances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended

wife. We declare that God's commandment for His children

families should lend support when needed.

to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force. We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife.

WE DECLARE the means by which mortal life is created to be

WE WARN that individuals who violate covenants of

chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God. Further, we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and

divinely appointed. We affirm the sanctity of life and of its

nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern

importance in God's eternal plan.

prophets.

HUSBAND AND WIFE have a solemn responsibility to love

and care for each other and for their children. "Children are an heritage of the Lord" (Psalm 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness,

WE CALL UPON responsible citizens and officers of gov-

ernment everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society.

This proclamation was read by President Gordon B. Hinckley as part of his message at the General Relief Society Meeting held September 23, 1995, in Salt Lake City, Utah.

GUIDELINES FOR THE INSTRUCTOR

Marriage and family life is ordained of God (see D&C 49:15). Regarding marriage and families, the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve Apostles stated: "Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. `Children are an heritage of the Lord' (Psalms 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God and to be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives--mothers and fathers--will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations."1

Strong, stable families are essential in these latter days to withstand the temptations and challenges that confront parents and children. Speaking of our time, President Gordon B. Hinckley stated: "The family is falling apart all over the world. The old ties that bound together father and mother and children are breaking everywhere. . . . Hearts are broken; children weep. Can we not do better? Of course we can."2

This course has been created in response to the need for better parenting and stronger families. It contains gospel teachings and parenting skills to help fathers and mothers successfully rear their children. As parents learn and prayerfully apply the gospel teachings and skills, forming a partnership with God in the raising of His children, He will bless and help them in their efforts (see 3 Nephi 18:20?21).

Use this instructor's guide in conjunction with the resource guide for parents. It provides supplemental information to help you conduct class sessions successfully.

Several ideas in this introduction and in the appendix were adapted from Principles of Parenting, a guide written by H. Wallace Goddard and published by the Alabama Cooperative Extension Service.3

ADMINISTERING THE COURSE

The course should typically be taught to groups of 20 or fewer participants by professionals at LDS Family Services agencies or by volunteers in wards and stakes. A typical course will last 9 to 12 sessions. Sessions are usually 90 minutes long. The Strengthening the Family: Resource Guide for Parents includes nine topics that may be used in group meetings. While you will select the topics you think will best address the needs of group members, session 1, "Parenting Principles and Practices," should be the first session taught in the course. Some topics may require two or more sessions to be addressed adequately.

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GUIDELINES FOR THE INSTRUCTOR

Consider the following suggestions for administering the course:

? Follow agency guidelines for charging group fees when the course is sponsored by an agency of LDS Family Services. When the course is sponsored by a stake or ward, participants should only be charged enough to cover the cost of materials. Participants should pay the fee to the instructor at the beginning of the course to help encourage attendance.

? Encourage couples to attend sessions together when possible. The principles they learn are of greatest value when both parents understand them and apply them. The principles can become a divisive wedge if one person is uninvolved or unsupportive. When only one parent can attend, try to ensure that the nonattending parent supports the spouse's involvement in the course and is receptive to new information on parenting.

? Keep track of the number of sessions attended by each participant by taking roll each time you meet (see page 102 in the appendix).

? Contact the nearest LDS Family Services agency if you have questions about teaching the course. Agency locations and telephone numbers can be found at .

ANNOUNCING THE COURSE

When you share information about the course, describe the benefits parents can gain by participating. A list of the benefits of learning parenting principles and skills--for example, increased unity and better communication in the family, or a greater ability to resolve conflict without anger--will more readily motivate parents to participate than a list of topics to be discussed.

Parents will be taught how to listen to their children in ways that invite the children to share personal feelings. They will be taught how to share their own feelings effectively, even when they are upset at their children. Parents will also learn how to teach their children responsible behavior, resolve conflicts, and foster confidence and healthy development. They will learn how to impose disciplinary measures that will help their sons and daughters learn to behave responsibly. They will gain a better appreciation for the eternal significance of family relationships and of what it means to be successful parents.

Parents who apply the principles and skills taught in this course will create a better home environment in which the Spirit of the Lord can dwell. They will enjoy happier and more harmonious relationships.

Consider using the information sheet on page 100 in the appendix to share information about the course.

QUALIFICATIONS TO TEACH THIS COURSE

This course may be taught by any adult who has developed good relationship skills and who is knowledgeable about rearing children. Keys to effective teaching include sensitivity to others and an appreciation for the sanctity of family life.

The most important qualification for teaching this course is your personal preparation to receive the guidance of the Holy Ghost. The Lord said, "The Spirit shall be given unto you by the prayer of faith; and if ye receive not the Spirit ye shall not teach"

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