Reflective Listening Worksheet & Roleplays



I Messages Worksheet & Role-playsRespond to the following statements and/or situations with an I-Statement. I feel (state your feelings), when (state the undesired behavior you wish to stop), because (state why you feel the why you do) and (state your future expectations and or future consequences.After mastering the formula you may be more comfortable using a less structured statement.1.Your boyfriend/girlfriend calls you to tell you he/she will be coming over in one half hour and he/she arrives at your house an hour and a half later. This is a weekly event. 2.Your friend calls the third time this month to cancel plans with you at the last minute to go out with their significant other.3.Your parents tells you at 9:00 p.m., that you are to watch your younger sister tomorrow after school for the whole evening when you had already made plans to go to the game. 4.Your neighbor is constantly dropping by and expecting you to be able to watch her child for her at a moment’s notice.5.Your sister just borrowed your favorite sweater again without asking and now it’s dirty when you want to wear it.6. Describe a recent situation where you were upset at someone you care about and could have used an I-statement to express how you feel. Write out the I-statement that you could have used. 031750077362050007759065659828500The Formula for Communicating with "I Statements"(Communicating Difficult Feelings)I feel ______________________ (state a feeling)When ______________________ (what specific behavior was done that you are responding to)because______________________ (what need is not being met and what are the thoughts or beliefs about that need).What I want is ______________________ (describe the exact behavior that would meet your need)."I Statements" help us to not use blaming "you" messages and to communicate four things:The feeling I am having.What the behavior is that I am responding to.Why (the unmet need) I am feeling/responding they way I am.What it is that meets the need I have.Example:I Feel Angry (the feeling)When I am interrupted while I am speaking (the behavior I am responding to)Because I feel I have something to say about this. (the belief and unmet need) What I want is to give my opinion uninterrupted. (how the need can be met)Things to remember about "I Statements":It loses its effectiveness if the statement points blame at anyone. It is not about who did what, but how I feel about what happened and how it can be resolved.Wrong example: I feel angry when you interrupt me.Better example: I feel angry when I'm not listened to. Wrong example: I feel upset when you lie to me. Better example: I feel upset when I'm lied to.Wrong example: What I want is for you to stop lying. Better example: What I want is the truth.It must be short with specifics-specific feelings and specific behaviors . ................
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