On the Papers The Imporance of T STreSS: IndIcaTIng The moST …

Now you could hardly mistake what

was most important to me. If I were to

speak the sentence to you, I could empha-

On the Papers

size "lazy" with my voice; but on the page,

The Importa nce of

that emphasis cannot be "heard." It must somehow be made apparent to the eye.

Str ess: Indicating

What if I were to rewrite the sentence like this: The quick brown fox can jump

the Most Importa nt

over the dog because the dog is lazy. Now more than 90 percent of readers

Wor ds in a Sentence

might guess that "laziness" is foremost in my mind. This is a phenomenon peculiar

to the English language.

We value any moment in a sentence

G e o rg e D . G o p e n

when the grammatical structure comes to a full halt. I call such a location the

The author is professor of the practice of rhetoric at Duke University.

"stress position."

A period always accomplishes this

closure; but the same effect is realized by

any properly used colon or semicolon. It

can never be created by a comma, be-

cause there are too many different sig-

Have you heard the advice, "Write the way you speak"? It is bad

actually interpret them correctly. We all understand the importance of making

nals a comma can send. We always have to go beyond a comma to find out what kind of pause it is asking us to make.

advice.

the best possible decisions concerning Commas never signal full syntactic

word choice; but, surprising though it closure.

When you speak--and especially may seem, word location is a far more im-

Here is an example I have used with

when you speak in court--you have a portant tool to master. How can you ma- thousands of students and clients to

number of ways you can demonstrate to nipulate the placement of words to signal teach the efficacy of the stress position:

your listeners which of your words you to your readers when they should be

would like them to emphasize the most. reading a particular term with special

As used in the foundry industry,

You can wave your hands or use body lan- emphasis?

"turnkey" means responsibility for the

guage. You can pronounce a word at a

It would be nice, would it not, if we

satisfactory performance of a piece of

higher decibel level than its neighbors. were allowed to print all such to-be-

equipment in addition to the design,

You can vary your sound--higher or low- emphasized words in red? Take, for ex-

manufacture, and installation of that

er, softer or louder, faster or slower. But ample, the sentence used in teaching typ-

equipment. P et al. agree that this def-

on paper, all these indications of empha- ing: "The quick brown fox jumps over the

inition of turnkey is commonly under-

sis disappear. You are left only with word lazy dog." If I told you there was only one

stood in the foundry industry.

choice and word placement.

word in that sentence uppermost in my

You, being the author, know what you mind at the moment, what would be your

Take a moment to underline any words

wanted to say. You look at your sentence: chances of guessing that word correctly? in these two sentences that you think the

It seems obvious to you how it should be Given that there are seven important- writer might be wanting you to stress.

"performed" by any reader. But an author looking words, your chances would be

When I ask as few as a dozen students

is often the worst person in the world to close to one out of seven, or 15 percent. or clients to do this, all of the following

estimate how others will read a sentence. How would your chances improve if I terms get underlined by someone: found-

It is insufficient for you to construct sen- were to print that word in red? Or even ry industry; turnkey; responsibility; sat-

tences that can be interpreted the way just in all caps?

isfactory performance; design, manufac-

you want. You must construct them so a

The quick brown fox jumps over the ture, and installation; P et al.

huge percentage of your readers will LAZY dog.

Note that "a piece of equipment" fails

Published in Litigation, Volume 38, Number 1, Fall 2011. ? 2011 by the American Bar Association. Reproduced with permission. All rights reserved. This information or any portion thereof may not

1

be copied or disseminated in any form or by any means or stored in an electronic database or retrieval system without the express written consent of the American Bar Association.

You are your client's to make this list; and yet, that is the term

that occupies the first sentence's sole

design, manufacture, and installation; but the industry also uses the

advocate. Your prose stress position. The author had only one

opportunity to indicate his most signifi-

term to indicate responsibility for its satisfactory performance.

must act as your cant words, and he blew it. As a result, he

left all of us guessing; and in a group of a

Important news: Locating the stress-

advocate. dozen people, almost everyone will

choose a different assortment. Everyone

worthy information of a sentence elsewhere than in a stress position is the sin-

thinks he or she has successfully made

gle most widespread and crippling

sense of the sentence; but often not a sin- information you wish the reader to stress problem in professional English writing

gle person has correctly guessed what always appears in a stress position--next today. Of the 245 MDs and PhDs I have

was in the author's mind. Here is the ex- to a period, colon, or semicolon. (I will re- worked with at a prominent federal agen-

ample again, with his sole intended em- turn to the use of the colon and semicolon cy, only one did not suffer from this epi-

phasis printed in all caps:

in a future article.)

demic problem.

Am I suggesting that if our author had

Most judges will read your brief only

As used in the foundry industry, only transported "satisfactory perfor- once. Are you really content to have them

"turnkey" means responsibility for the mance" to the end of a single sentence, guessing--sentence after sentence--what

SATISFACTORY PERFORMANCE of most readers would have understood his word or words they should be emphasiz-

a piece of equipment in addition to the intentions? Yes. Here is one possibility: ing? You are your client's advocate. Your

design, manufacture, and installation

prose must act as your advocate.

of that equipment. P et al. agree that

As P et al. agree, the foundry industry

This is neither a mechanical nor a cos-

this definition of turnkey is commonly

uses the term "turnkey" to signify re- metic concern. Because it involves the

understood in the foundry industry.

sponsibility not only for the design, core of your thinking in any sentence,

manufacture, and installation of a you can "repair the damage" only by re-

In my experience, in a lecture hall

piece of equipment but also for its sat- entering your thought process and in-

filled with 200 people, no more than four

isfactory performance.

quiring, "What is the most important

will have underlined "satisfactory per-

thing I want to say here?" It is not an easy

formance" and only "satisfactory perfor-

Now more than 90 percent of readers fix. If you habitually put the important

mance." The failure of communication is will get his message.

thing some place other than the stress

that severe.

What if P et al.'s agreement had also position, your habit will persist unless

Note that no term in the second sen- been something worthy of stress? Then you fight against it, consciously and with

tence of the example is in caps. Any such we might create a second stress position, substantial mental energy.

sentence should not be a sentence. Its in- just for that:

Begin by using this new advice as a re-

formation should be tucked into some

vision tactic. Write your sentence as you

other sentence--and not in a stress

P et al. agree: The foundry industry normally would. Then go back and ask

position.

uses the term "turnkey" to signify re- yourself which word or words you would

When is a sentence too short? When it

sponsibility not only for the design, print in red or in caps if allowed to do so.

has no viable candidate for the stress posi-

manufacture, and installation of a Get those words right next to a period,

tion. When is a sentence too long? When it

piece of equipment but also for its sat- colon, or semicolon. Try it. You'll like it.

has more viable candidates for stress posi-

isfactory performance.

So will your readers.

tions than there are stress positions. It

One last concern: When should you

matters not how many words a sentence

What if the other three functions use artificial emphasis--italics, under-

contains. It matters a great deal that the ("design, manufacture, and installation") lining, caps, bold, etc.? Use it whenever

number of stress-worthy terms is the were also worthy of stress? Then we the nature of our grammar makes it

same as the number of stress positions.

might create an additional stress position impossible or awkward to get the em-

You have probably heard the advice, for them:

phatic word next to a colon, semicolon, or

"To make a sentence better, make it short-

period. For examples, see all the itali-

er." Forget it. It is wrong. Here is a good

P et al. agree: The foundry industry cized words in this article. q

replacement for it: To make a sentence as

uses the term "turnkey" to signify re-

good as it can be, make sure that the

sponsibility for a piece of equipment's

Published in Litigation, Volume 38, Number 1, Fall 2011. ? 2011 by the American Bar Association. Reproduced with permission. All rights reserved. This information or any portion thereof may not

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be copied or disseminated in any form or by any means or stored in an electronic database or retrieval system without the express written consent of the American Bar Association.

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