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THE ART OF RISKING AWKWARDNESS

Part 4 of Series: Love at Last Sight

Pastor Kerry Shook

“The Word became human and made His home among us.” John 1:14 (NLT)

“When Jesus returned to Capernaum several days later, the news spread quickly that He was back home. Soon the house where He was staying was so packed with visitors that there was no more room, even outside the door. While He was preaching God’s word to them, four men arrived carrying a paralyzed man on a mat. They couldn’t bring him to Jesus because of the crowd, so they dug a hole through the roof above His head. Then they lowered the man on his mat, right down in front of Jesus. Seeing their faith, Jesus said to the paralyzed man, ‘My child, your sins are forgiven…Stand up, pick up your mat, and go home!’ And the man jumped up, grabbed his mat, and walked out through the stunned onlookers. They were all amazed and praised God, exclaiming, ‘We’ve never seen anything like this before!’” Mark 2:1-5; 11-12 (NLT)

R EACH OUT TO OTHERS

“While (Jesus) was preaching God’s word to them, four men arrived carrying a paralyzed man on a mat.” (Vs. 2b-3)

“Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2 (NIV)

“He comes alongside us when we go through hard times, and before you know it, he brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as God was there for us.” 2 Cor. 1:4 (MSG)

I GNORE THE DISCOMFORT

“They couldn’t bring him to Jesus because of the crowd, so they dug a hole through the roof above (Jesus) head. Then they lowered the man on his mat, right down in front of Jesus.” (Vs. 4)

S HARE YOUR HEART

• Awkwardness of Asking

“What do you want me to do for you?” Mark 10:51 (NIV)

• Awkwardness of Revealing

"Jesus wept." John 11:35 (NIV)

“Seeing their faith…” (Vs. 5a)

“And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.” Hebrews 11:6 (NIV)

“You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”

Jeremiah 29:13 (NIV)

K NOW THE REWARD IS GREATER

THAN THE RISK

“… Jesus said to the paralyzed man, ‘My child, your sins are forgiven…Stand up, pick up your mat, and go home!’ And the man jumped up, grabbed his mat, and walked out through the stunned onlookers. They were all amazed and praised God, exclaiming, ‘We’ve never seen anything like this before!’” (Vs. 5; 11-12)

How many of you remember your first date -- that really awkward feeling of asking the girl of your dreams to go out with you? Maybe it was the Jr. High dance or to the Saturday matinee or a church youth activity. Wherever it was no doubt you remember how awkward you felt. Nervous? Afraid? Tongue-tied, embarrassed, self-conscious, plain old awkward, but you took the risk. You stepped out of your comfort zone and popped the question, “Would you like to go out with me?” Feeling the heat rising on your ear lobes you waited what may have seemed like an eternity for the response. But whatever the response was you had to feel a sense of accomplishment in the courage it took to take the risk.

No relationship can grow deeper and stronger without risking awkwardness. Love risks being awkward. Meeting someone’s needs in love doesn’t come naturally. I have to step out and be awkward in order to meet someone else’s needs. Jesus did this. He risked being awkward. In John 1:14, it says, “The Word became human and made His home among us.” It must have been awkward for the supernatural Son of God to put on an uncomfortable outfit of human flesh, frail and weak and vulnerable. He stepped out of the comfort of paradise, this perfect home in heaven to come into our imperfect and broken world. He risked being awkward so that we could relate to Him and He could relate to us. I have to step out of my comfort zone and risk being awkward to meet the needs of the people in my life because it doesn’t come naturally. It’s the most embarrassing of the four arts but it brings color and life to the canvas of the relationship we are painting.

Whenever I’ve risked awkwardness, more often than not, something good came out of it – a deeper connection. Too often we settle for superficial relationships that never experience the depth of love God intended for us to share. We may be afraid to step out of our comfort zone or be embarrassed, so we crawl into our shell of protection and never really reveal our hearts. That’s not living. Life is filled with risks. If I’m going to have a closer relationship with my wife or my kids and the people I love then it’s up to me to step out of my comfort zone and get into their lives. The more I get over my feelings of awkwardness and risk deeper conversations, the closer I get to the people in my life –the more we experience God together as we face our struggles, failures and fears.

There’s a story in the New Testament of five friends who risked awkwardness in their relationship.

Mark 2:1-5; 11-12 (NLT). “When Jesus returned to Capernaum several days later, the news spread quickly that He was back home. Soon the house where He was staying was so packed with visitors that there was no more room, even outside the door. While He was preaching God’s word to them, four men arrived carrying a paralyzed man on a mat. They couldn’t bring him to Jesus because of the crowd, so they dug a hole through the roof above His head. Then they lowered the man on his mat, right down in front of Jesus. Seeing their faith, Jesus said to the paralyzed man, ‘My child, your sins are forgiven…Stand up, pick up your mat, and go home!’ And the man jumped up, grabbed his mat, and walked out through the stunned onlookers. They were all amazed and praised God, exclaiming, ‘We’ve never seen anything like this before!’”

I don’t know about you but when I read a story like that I can’t help but picture it in my mind’s eye and then I get excited and want to see it in person. I want to experience God like these guys did, don’t you? I want to have the kind of relationship they shared with each other. Imagine what that would be like for a moment.

Here’s Jesus preaching in someone’s house and it’s packed inside and out with people longing to hear and see Him. Now our attention is directed to another group. It consists of a little delegation of five men. They are coming down the dusty road to Capernuam. One man is sick, lying paralyzed on a stretcher. He couldn’t even have made it there because he was paralyzed. The other four make a kind of quartet, one at each corner of the stretcher. And here they come. They can’t get in because of the crowd which actually fills the doors and the windows.

I love what Dr. J Vernon McGee says about this story:

“Now, I've found in church work today that the thing that is done more than anything else is to designate committees. The committee is what the pastor of a church often depends on. Church work, today, is done largely by the committees of various organizations. Someone has said that a committee is made up of those who take down minutes and waste hours. Another has said that a committee is made up of a group of people who individually can do nothing, but together they can decide that nothing can be done. And that is generally what they do.

If they did it like we do it, this little group had a committee. They had a door committee who came up and looked around and then went back and said, "You can't get in the door." Then they had the window committee who went up and looked around and came back and said, "You can't get in a window." Fortunately, they had a roof committee, and the roof committee came back and said, "We think we can get him down through the roof." So, maybe, if you have enough committees, there will be one that will function.

 

Anyway, they decided to let him down through the roof, and so these men tackle the job of taking off the roof. When they get him down into the presence of Christ, I think they are embarrassed because they see they have broken up the meeting. You can imagine what it did for the meeting in progress! We have no notion what the Lord was teaching on this occasion, but it came to a sudden halt. But our Lord must have looked at them and smiled -- I'm almost sure that He did.” — J. Vernon McGee's Thru The Bible

Well you may be wondering what this has to do with Love At Last Sight. Everything. It teaches us that meaningful relationships and authentic faith involve risk. In fact, someone once said faith is spelled R-I-S-K.

If you and I want to see a miracle in our relationships like we read about here we will have to be willing to risk awkwardness. But how do you do that? I believe this story spells it out for us so let’s look at the word RISK and see if we can identify some practical steps they took that we can take to experience a miracle in our relationships too.

R stands for “REACH OUT TO OTHERS.” To experience love at last sight I have to risk the awkwardness of reaching out to others. I can’t wait for them to reach out to me. That’s a risk but it’s worth it because it demonstrates how much I care about them, how much I value them and love them. This poor paralytic would have remained lost and crippled had it not been for his four friends who took the risk to reach out to him and to Jesus. They didn’t just sit around thinking “wouldn’t it be great if our friend could get to Jesus somehow. Too bad he can’t walk - poor fellow.” Who needs friends like that? You probably have some just like that too, don’t you? It’s easy to just ignore someone when they are hurting or in trouble. You don’t know what to say or do, you feel awkward, so you don’t do anything. Oh maybe you think I’ll just pray for them. But meaningful relationships are messy. They take time, effort and expense some times. If you want to develop strong and enduring relationships, to experience a love at last sight kind of relationship you will have to risk awkwardness. Sometimes it’s as simple as a phone call, a personal visit or personal letter that says I care about you. The first step is always the most awkward. You must reach out to others. It’s what these four men did for their friend. Look at Vs. 2 “While (Jesus) was preaching God’s word to them, four men arrived carrying a paralyzed man on a mat.” (Vs. 2b-3)

Galatians 6:2 (NIV) says, “Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”

So who’s burden have you lightened lately? Someone near you is carrying a heavy load right now. It may be emotional, financial or physical. They really don’t know what to do and they feel paralyzed. Had it not been for this poor man’s friends he would never have made it to Jesus. Love at Last Sight says I want to lift the load you are trying to carry so we can both experience the miracle of Christ in our lives. Who are you reaching out to? Who may be reaching out to you? Maybe someone is trying to say they care about you and want to help you? Just as we need to reach out sometimes we also need to receive. That’s a rhythm in life. 2 Corinthians 1:4 (MSG) says, “He comes alongside us when we go through hard times, and before you know it, he brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as God was there for us.”

Many of you have been reaching out to others through our campaign of kindness. We’ve already heard some exciting stories of people who have been impacted because you took the risk to demonstrate God’s love through a simple act of kindness. I got a letter from a man I don’t know. But he described how your acts of kindness helped him. After finishing his meal at a restaurant in Galveston he was told by the waiter that someone had picked up the tab for his meal and then gave him the little card like the one we are using – One Small Act of Love – A World of Difference. He said he thought that was nice of someone to do but then it really drove home to him when he was on I-45 coming back from Galveston and had a blow out on his tire. He said the guy who pulled over and took care of his flat handed him a little card – you got it, the same message. He wrote to tell me that although he didn’t attend our church he was amazed by the acts of kindness shown him by the members of our church and that we must have members all over! Reaching out to others takes a risk of awkwardness. Don’t let that stop you…

I stands for “IGNORE THE DISCOMFORT.” Whenever you reach out to others you will immediately feel awkward and uncomfortable at first. You won’t have to look hard for excuses and barriers to taking the risk. Don’t let that stop you. Love at first sight says that when relationships feel awkward, it’s time to bail. Love at last sight says that when there’s a problem, a silence or something not quite right in a relationship, that’s precisely the time to dig in and do the hard work of risking awkward questions and uncomfortable conversations. Every relationship breakthrough in my life has involved the art of rising awkwardness, which simply means stepping out of my comfort zone so that a relationship can go to the next level. In a way God did this for us so we could have a fulfilling relationship with Him. Think about it. The supernatural Son of God stepped out of the comfort of His perfect home in heaven to enter our imperfect and broken world. Because He loved us, He took the risk to enter our world. He even put on a suit of human frailty and complete vulnerability so we could relate to Him and He could build a bridge to us. I’m so thankful Jesus ignored the discomfort and took the risk to reach out to me. If I’m going to deepen my relationships with those I love, I will have to ignore the discomfort to reach out to them.

The four men in our story certainly did. Look at the hurdles they faced. Talk about risking awkwardness. Once they took the initiative to pick up their friend and take him to Jesus they faced another barrier, the crowd! They couldn’t get in. How often our lives get so crowded and our relationships suffer for it. Our schedule is crowded with more than we can accomplish, to do often what doesn’t really matter, to impress people we don’t even like. Then, we give those we love the most the leftovers and there’s not much left over. Besides, who likes leftovers?

But these men didn’t let the crowd stop them. Look at what they did. This is kind of extreme … you think? “They couldn’t bring him to Jesus because of the crowd, so they dug a hole through the roof above (Jesus) head. Then they lowered the man on his mat, right down in front of Jesus.” (Vs. 4) Talk about awkward. I don’t know how Jesus’ meeting was going in that packed out house but I’m sure of this, they got His full attention. “Don’t mean to interrupt the meeting; just thought I would drop in.” When you think about it, they practiced the art of being all there as well as the art of acting intentionally and now they were at the third art of risking awkwardness! I guess it was a good thing they hadn’t gotten to the art of “letting go.” LOL!

If you want the relationship with those you love to experience God like that, you have to be willing to ignore the discomfort and break through the barriers that are in the way. It may take time, cost money; I mean someone had to pay for the roof. It will take effort and hard work but if you will reach out to others and ignore the discomfort your relationships will go to a level you’ve only dreamed of.

S stands for “SHARE YOUR HEART.” It’s awkward to expose your heart. It makes you feel completely vulnerable. But if you want to move past shallow, superficial relationships into the deep, connected, rich relationships God wants for us, you have to let go of any pretense and expose your true self. The paralytic had to let his friends help him to Jesus. He had to be willing to expose his condition, his problem to them and to Jesus. Most of us won’t have to do that in front of a packed house, thank God, but we have to be willing to share our hearts with those we love the most. That’s the only way to take your relationship to a deeper level. It’s only when we open our hearts to God and others that He is able to work in our lives and relationships. To really share my heart I have to step out of my comfort zone and risk being awkward to meet the needs of the people in my life. It won’t come naturally.

First, I need the awkwardness of asking. It must have been awkward for these four guys to approach their friend and ask him if they could take him to Jesus. Maybe he asked them. We don’t know but there was a general consensus among them that if they could just get him to Jesus, his life would be changed.

The worst mistake I can make in a relationship is assuming I know what the other person’s needs are. We do this all the time and it creates so much frustration and we are shooting at the wrong target. Even Jesus Christ, the Son of God, would ask people what they needed before He would heal them. In Mark 10:51, a blind beggar named Bartameus was sitting beside the road and Jesus asked him, “What do you want me to do for you?” Jesus already knew the answer. He knows everything but He wanted Bartameus this blind beggar to really encapsulate it and to say it to make sure Bartameus knew what his number one need was. If the God of the universe asked people what their needs were, don’t you think I need to ask my wife what her needs are and how to meet those needs? Don't you think I need to ask my kids what their needs are and how I can meet those needs? We assume we know how to meet someone else's needs but we don't, not unless we ask and so your homework assignment is to this week go get coffee or sit down with the people closest to you and just ask them how can I meet your needs better. I really love you and I care about you but I want you to feel that so how can I best meet your needs? What are your top needs? How can I be a part of meeting those needs?

A couple of weeks ago I challenged you if you want to take your relationship to another level to focus on the needs of others. Some of you did but maybe you felt too awkward to follow through with that challenge. So for you who are married, husbands, your assignment is to go home today and over lunch ask your wife, honey I want you to feel how much I love you. I want this to really get through to your heart and so tell me what are your greatest needs and after she gets up off the floor from fainting there will be a breakthrough in your marriage. We have to ask and it is awkward. So here’s your second chance to do it. Or maybe your husband did and now it’s your turn to ask him.

Then we need the awkwardness of revealing. Jesus was unafraid of revealing his feelings. The shortest and one of the most powerful verses in all scriptures is John 11:35, "Jesus wept.” He wasn’t afraid to express His feelings. He wept when his friend Lazarus died even though He knew He was going to raise him from the dead because He was unafraid of showing His love. Love is not love unless you show it. Well they know how I feel about them. No they don't. Not unless you express it. My grandfather grew up in a home where they never verbally expressed love and so he didn't learn how to verbally express love and it was just so awkward for him. He never heard the words I love you from his parents and so I remember so many times when we would visit my grandparents’ house over the holidays and when we would be leaving my mom so desperately wanted him to say those words I love you to her that she would prompt him before we would go and she would say daddy we are leaving now but daddy I love you. I love you daddy and it was almost painful to watch as he would say I do you too girl and that's all he could get out. She knew what it meant but still she longed to hear those words and I am so grateful that my mom risked being awkward and she told me constantly I love you, I love you, I love you. She expressed it constantly and at the end of my grandfather's life he was able to say those three words to my mom, I love you. It was so meaningful to her. We say well they know how I feel about them. No they don't. Not unless you express it. Love is not love unless you give it away. I don't care how many wonderful feelings you have towards someone it does not count unless you express it and it becomes love when you reveal it.

Can you imagine the risk it took this paralytic to get in front of Jesus that day. Talk about the awkwardness of revealing! What would Jesus say? What would He do? Would He be angry with him for interrupting His sermon? I love this story because it gives me hope and courage to share my heart with God and the people I love. The Bible says Jesus saw their faith -- “Seeing their faith…” (Vs. 5a). Faith is the heart of the matter. Faith risks the awkwardness of revealing your heart, your deepest longing and need, trusting that Jesus loves you and wants the best for you. In fact the Bible says, Hebrews 11:6 (NIV) “And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.” And Jeremiah 29:13 (NIV) says, “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” If I’m going to connect with God and others it will take faith to reveal my heart to them. Revealing your heart is the first step to living from your heart. Only when you live from your heart can you truly be free.

Does that always mean people will respond in kind? I want to be honest with you that there may be times when your heart gets broken. Sometimes you will risk love, and you won’t get love back. Sometimes you will risk commitment, and the other person won’t commit to you. Sometimes you will make yourself vulnerable, and you’ll get rejected. That’s life. Every person has experienced heartache.

C.S. Lewis said, “To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, —airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”

No one wants a heart like that. If you want to experience a love at last sight, the kind of relationships that go the distance, weathering the storms of life and not just survive them but thrive through them, take the risk. reach out to others; ignore the discomfort; and share your heart. If you need one more word of encouragement to get off the dime and do it here it is…

K stands for “KNOW THE REWARD IS GREATER THAN THE RISK.” Was it worth the risk for these men to carry their friend to Jesus, to go to the extreme of cutting a hole in someone’s roof and interrupt a meeting to let their friend down in front of Christ? Was it worth the awkward feeling that paralytic man must have felt when he’s lying there in front of Jesus and all those people? Look at vs. 5 “… Jesus said to the paralyzed man, ‘My child, your sins are forgiven…Stand up, pick up your mat, and go home!’ And the man jumped up, grabbed his mat, and walked out through the stunned onlookers. They were all amazed and praised God, exclaiming, ‘We’ve never seen anything like this before!’” (Vs. 5; 11-12)

If he could be here today, I’m sure he would tell you a resounding YES it was worth it, you better believe it. It didn’t feel like it when they were carrying me there, especially when they were lowering me down from the roof in front of all those people but it was absolutely worth it. It was worth risking awkwardness. You should have seen the look on their faces when I stood up, grabbed my mat and walked out right through that crowd! Not only did He heal my legs but He healed my heart! He forgave me of all my sins! What a bonus! He saw what my deepest need was! I’m a new man. I’ve been set free! I’m so thankful my friends loved me enough to take the risk to do what they did for me. I will never forget it.

The reward is always greater than the risk when we reach out to others, ignore the discomfort and share our heart. What if this man or his friends had given in to those feelings of awkwardness, given in to the fear of taking the risk? They acted in spite of their fears! That’s faith isn’t it? Faith isn’t the absence of fear. Faith is acting in spite of them! Faith believes that feelings follow actions and doesn’t wait until it feels like acting to step out. When I act in faith despite my feelings of awkwardness I will experience the rewards. My feelings will eventually catch up with my actions and soon I won’t feel awkward at all! You won’t perpetually stay in an awkward state in your relationship. After all, one of the great blessings of loving relationships is the feeling of complete comfort in someone else’s presence. But that only happens when we take the first step and risk awkwardness.

One of the ministries I love in our church that risks the awkwardness of reaching out to others is our hunger and homeless ministry. It really started by a guy in our church who said the only spiritual gift he thought he might have was barbequing. I said in Texas that has to be a spiritual gift. So he began to use his grill to feed homeless and hungry people. That ministry has grown to feeding thousands of homeless and hungry people throughout our county. In fact the other weekend at our Super Summer Baptism two of the people baptized came to Christ as a result of that ministry feeding homeless and hungry people every Saturday at the park. God works when we risk the awkwardness of revealing His love in our hearts. I believe heaven alone will record the people impacted by our simple acts of kindness. I want to challenge you to risk the awkwardness of reaching out to others and see the difference it makes in you and them.

Let’s pray together.

Perhaps you feel somewhat like this man today, paralyzed, afraid and you don’t know what to do. Your relationships are not where you want them to be. Maybe you’ve never really known how to approach God and you feel awkward trying. If you’ve never entered a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, He’s waiting for you to risk the awkwardness of asking. Reach out in prayer to Him now. Share your heart with Him. He loves you and died for you to offer you forgiveness and grace. From your own heart pray this prayer to Him. “Dear Lord Jesus, thank you for loving me and risking the awkwardness to take my place, my punishment on the cross for sins I’ve committed. I ask you today to forgive me as you did the paralytic and set me free. I want to walk with you. Thank you for forgiving me and coming now to live in my heart today. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

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