Through interactions with others and our experiences of the world in ...

Through interactions with others and our experiences of the world in which we live and

act, we have developed multiple metaphors to describe our experiences of time (e.g.,

"time flies," "time stands still," "time is money"), suggesting time is a phenomenon

experienced with great diversity and difference. Considering our seemingly subjective

experiences of time, it is surprising that social science has often been limited in its

approach to time as a quantitative measure, frequently employing time diaries to record

the amount of time individuals and families spend on various activities (Daly, 1996; Daly

& Beaton, 2005). A focus solely on quantifiable time is perhaps one of the greatest

limitations of past research on father involvement after separation and divorce as

measurements of father involvement too often have been based on the frequency of

contact nonresident fathers have with their children (Amato & Gilbreth, 1999; Hawkins

& Palkovitz, 1999). Although frequency of interactions is a component of understanding

father involvement after divorce, such research fails to address the influence social

interactions and organizations have in shaping fathers' subjective experiences of time

with their children after separation and divorce.

More recently, social science researchers interested in a post-modern view of time have

begun to consider concepts of "social time," and the ways cultural and social contexts

impact our experiences of family time. For example, regarding their study of social time

in single-mother families, Hodgson, Dienhart, and Daly (2001) write, "Time in families is

accordingly, experienced subjectively and is subject to numerous social interactions. It is

more subtle and laden with nuance and meanings than concrete, linear clock time" (p. 3).

From a post-modem position, time is viewed as being subjective and influenced by our

social interactions. Furthermore, Daly (1996) suggests that a post-modern view

encourages us to view our perception of time as being shaped by the characteristics of the

actors (e.g., men, fathers), their reasons for interaction (e.g., responsibility, personal

desire), and their definitions and interpretations of the situation (e.g., unjust, limited).

Considering the apparent influence that time has in shaping our relationships and

identities, it is curious that fathers' experiences of time with their children after separation

and divorce appear to have been largely overlooked in social science research.

Understanding more about fathers' subjective experience of time with their children after

separation and divorce is important when one considers some of the reported effects of

father involvement post separation and divorce for all family members. For example,

Fabricius (2003) found that when children do not live with their fathers for a substantial

amount of time after divorce, their relationship with their fathers suffered. More

specifically, Ahrons and Tanner (2003) report that children's relationship with their

fathers after divorce contributed to their feelings of well-being as young adults.

Regarding the effect of involvement for fathers, Eggebeen and Knoester (2001) report

that the strongest correlates of fatherhood are among men who live with their children

and that once men live away from their children the "transforming power of fatherhood

dissipates" (p. 391). Furthermore, studies have found that fathers who are more involved

are more likely to pay child support (Amato & Gilbreth, 1999). Financial child support

provided by fathers is associated with better parenting by custodial mothers

(Hetherington & Stanley-Hagan, 2002), and has also been associated with positive effects

for children's academic achievement (King, 1994).

The impact father involvement can have on an entire family system has led researchers

and theorists to investigate the reasons why so many fathers are not more involved with

their children after separation or divorce. Researchers and theorists have developed

several lists of factors that appear to influence the degree men are involved in parenting

relationships after divorce. Some of these factors include: geographic distance,

remarriage of one or both parents, men's economic status, mothers' interference with

visitations (King & Heard, 1999; Kissman, 1997), the establishment of a co-parenting

relationship between ex-spouses (Fox & Blanton, 1995; Kissman, 1997; Madden-Derdich

& Leonard, 2000), and social ambiguity regarding the parental roles of divorced fathers

(Madden-Derdich & Leonard). Notably, one of the more obvious factors affecting father

involvement after divorce is custody arrangements. In many cases, fathers may not decide

how much time they spend with their children, as many mothers continue to be awarded

sole physical custody in both Canadian and American courts (Bertrand, Hornick, Paetsch,

& Bala, 2004; Juby, Marcil-Gratton, & Le Bourdais, 2004; Madden-Derdich & Leonard).

Past research clearly demonstrates that separation and divorce limits the amount of time

fathers spend with their children; however, little is known about how this reduction in

parental time is experienced by fathers. Consequently, the main objectives of this study

were to explore the connection between separated and divorced fathers' experiences of

quantifiable and social time, as well as to gain a greater understanding of how their

experiences of parental time influence involvement with their children. Believing that

father involvement is a diverse and complex phenomenon, we were at first hesitant to

adopt "time" as the focus of study because it could contribute to discourses that employ

time as a measure of father involvement. However, noting the salience of time in the

interviews, we began to consider that quantifiable (clock) time is likely of extreme

importance to divorced fathers who want to maintain involvement after separation and

divorce. Considering that custody battles are essentially about the negotiation of parental

time, it seems impractical to ignore the significance of "time" following separation and

divorce. Furthermore, social interactions between family members after divorce likely

influence and shape how time is experienced by fathers. This study demonstrates that the

quantity of parental time is highly salient to separated and divorced fathers, and concerns

regarding a lack of parental time influence men's views and actions as parents.

Method

Procedures

Participants in this qualitative, interview study responded to an advertisement in the local

newspaper, as well as to an announcement on the radio requesting the participation of

men interested in talking about their experiences of parenting after separation and

divorce, particularly men who had maintained involvement with their children. During

in-depth interviews, participants were asked open-ended questions regarding their

experiences of maintaining relationships with their children post separation and/or

divorce (see Appendix). For the purposes of this study, 14 interviews were randomly

selected for secondary analysis from the original qualitative data set consisting of 28

open ended, semi-structured interviews conducted in 2000-2001. We would have

randomly selected additional transcripts if theoretical data saturation (i.e., when no new

information was found to expand and deepen the themes identified in the results) had not

occurred with the 14 interviews. The sample size of this study adheres to the

recommendations for qualitative research: 6-8 subjects for homogeneous samples and 1220 subjects for maximum variation (Zyzanski, McWhinney, Blake, Crabtree, & Miller,

1992).

Sample Characteristics and Limitations

All men selected for the study were separated or divorced fathers living in the Province

of Ontario who had maintained a parenting relationship with their children; none were

involved in parenting activist groups. The average age of the men from the 14 interviews

selected was 41 (ranging from 30 to 52). The average income of these men was $40,000

(ranging from $14,000 to $100,000) and participants held a wide range of employment

positions. With respect to race, the majority of participants were white. Furthermore, the

average number of children per participant was 2.3 (ranging from 1 to 5 children).

Interviews selected for analysis represented men who had a number of different custody

and visitation arrangements. Ten fathers had joint custody; of these 10, five saw their

children every other weekend plus one night a week, two alternated weeks with their exspouse, and three had varied visitation agreements. Four fathers had custody

arrangements in which the mother had sole custody, of these, three saw their children

every other weekend plus one night a week and one saw his children on an irregular

basis.

Analysis

Maintaining a symbolic interactionist and constructionist approach that places priority on

the phenomena being studied (Charmaz, 2002), grounded theory was the method of

analysis chosen for the selected data. As a method of qualitative analysis, grounded

theory emphasizes the discovery of relevant categories and the relationships among them

(Strauss & Corbin, 1990). Grounded theory was an appropriate choice for data analysis in

this study because the main goal was to discover new perspectives regarding issues of

father involvement and time following separation or divorce. Data analysis adhered to the

constant comparative method, which encourages the researcher to compare concepts with

previous incidents in both the same and different groups of analysis (Strauss & Corbin,

1990). Following the procedures of grounded theory, the first author utilized line-by-line

coding to identify reoccurring themes throughout the data; these themes were further

discussed, categorized, and revised with the second and third author.

Results

Throughout the interviews, fathers were asked about their experience of being involved

with their children. From participants' descriptions of father involvement after divorce,

"time" materialized as the focus of the analysis presented here. The emergence of time as

the overall theme is logical when one considers that despite the range of custody and

visitation arrangements, the majority of divorced fathers experience a loss of time with

their children. More specifically, an overarching theme emerged as capturing the tension

created when participants acknowledged how a shift in their experiences of time with

their children after divorce creates challenges in maintaining a parental influence. The

overall tension described by participants suggests there is a connection between

quantifiable time and fathers' experiences of social time, as a lack of clocked time with

their children appears to influence their ability to enact a parenting role, thus influencing

their subjective experiences of time with their children.

Stemming from this overarching tension, three categories, each with subcategories,

emerged as highlighting the ways that participants navigate this tension (see Figure 1).

The first category reports participants' experiences of securing and protecting their rights

to time, and therefore, their rights to parental influence (this was especially true for

fathers who had to fight for more time with their children through the court system or

with their ex-spouse). The second category relates to participants' view of time as a

commodity, and the third category is concerned with how participants cope and adapt to a

shift in time experience following separation or divorce. All of the categories are tightly

connected to the overarching theme, and therefore, certain elements in each of the

different categories overlap and are directly related to one another.

The Discordance Between Desire for Time and the Reality of Available Time: How a

Shift in Time Experience Creates Challenges in Maintaining a Parental Influence

Throughout the interviews, participants articulated how a shift in their experiences of

time with their children after separation or divorce creates challenges in their ability to

impart an influence in their children's lives. At this point, it seems necessary to explain

what is meant by a "shift in time experience." Throughout the interviews, all participants

spoke of experiencing both a loss of day-to-day time, as well as, an increase in

concentrated time with their children. Many fathers noted that a loss of day-to-day time

with their children results in missing aspects of their children's development, as well as,

opportunities to have an influence in their children's lives. Furthermore, many of the

participants experienced the time they did have with their children as being more

concentrated because it is time often not shared with another adult, and they noted how

this shift in time contributes to some unique parenting challenges. After being asked

about the differences between fathering before and after divorce, Frank noted some of

these challenges, as well as, how a shift in his experience of time influences his ideas

about parenthood (all names have been changed to protect confidentiality):

The main difference, if there is one, is that now the time that I'm

with her--everything that I used to do with her in a seven day

period, 18 hours a day, is now concentrated. And that is a huge

challenge. I'm concerned about the consistency between how she is

treated in daycare, how she's treated at her mother's house, in

terms of everything from discipline to education. And, when she's

with me, it's such a concentrated period of time that I'm required

to be a complete parent. That, I think, is the biggest difference.

Frank's description of "concentrated" time was typical of most fathers in this study. Frank

also reported experiencing "troubles" as a parent because he views himself as "a coordinary influence" in his daughter's life, as having influence secondary to that of his exspouse, daycare, and extended family. Similarly, other fathers reported being aware of

having to share time, and thus share opportunities to influence their children's

development; they often attributed parenting difficulties to a lack of consistency that

results from multiple parental influences.

At this point the question arises, what is meant by "influence?" From the data, it appears

that influence has a range of meanings for participants. Generally, participants spoke

about wanting to have a role in shaping who their children become, as well as, supporting

and nurturing their development. Many of the fathers referred to wanting to have

influence in a variety of different ways, both through direct and indirect contact. For

example, participants spoke about wanting to introduce their children to new activities,

teach them life skills, provide them with a sense of identity and history, give advice and

guidance, and have a role in making decisions about health care and education. However,

what surfaced from the interviews was the tension that results for these fathers when their

desire to maintain a parental influence conflict with the reality of having less time,

therefore, fewer opportunities for influence. Tom, a father of two who sees his children

two days a month, articulated this tension:

I want to teach my children as much as I can. [You] can butter

bread, oh, great, I didn't get to do that, you know. Where did you

learn to do that? You know, just like his uncle taught him to ride

a bike, it's somebody else did this. You know, I'm there on the

weekend, you know. I don't get to help him with his schoolwork. I

don't get to draw pictures.

[GRAPHIC OMITTED]

From participants' descriptions of this overall tension, it can be noted that desires to

maintain parental influence and desires to have more time with their children appear to be

highly connected, as many of the ways these fathers would like to impart influence

require having time with their children. For example, it would be difficult for Tom to

teach his children how to butter bread if he lacked one-on-one parental time.

Understandably, this overall tension was not experienced as intensely by the two fathers

in the study who had shared physical custody as they have greater access to time with

their children, and therefore more opportunities to impart an influence. However, both of

these fathers did discuss concerns regarding their continued parental influence as well as

ways in which their experiences of parental time had been influenced by the context of

divorce.

The tension that develops when desires to maintain an influence conflict with

opportunities for parental time raises a number of questions regarding how fathers cope

with this tension, and how it influences their involvement after separation and divorce.

The following categories stem from the overarching tension discussed above and shed

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