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Why Is “Bidong” So Popular in China Nowadays? By Shaofei Xing “Hands touch, eyes meet, sudden silence, sudden hit, hearts leap in a giddy whirl. He could be that boy……” Yes, this is the song that some of you might be familiar with. The lyrics are from the song “I’m not that girl” of Wicked, which is one of the longest running Broadway shows in history. But such scene does not only happen in a musical show or drama anymore, it shows on and on almost everyday now in China – daily life, advertisements, TV live shows and movies. 40005002520950picture from “Nabari no blog”00picture from “Nabari no blog”4000500355600000This is the magic of “bidong” – a word that stems from Japanese anime and is translated directly from the Japanese word “kabedon”. “bi” means the wall, to complete this behaviour, you need a firm wall at first; “dong” signifies the sound when one person put his hands heavily towards the wall (the picture on the right shows clearly what it is like). “Bidong” is a phenomenon that happens when a man is chasing after a woman. During “bidong”, people will feel mesmerised as described in the lyrics. Young girls get very excited when talking about it, and most of them wish to be ‘bidonged’ by their Mr. Rights. Let’s call the one who put his hands to the wall as “bidonger” and the other being pressed as “bidongee”. There are various kinds of “bidong”: “single bidong” is with single hand, “double bidong” is with both hands and keeps the “bidongee” staying in the middle of your arms (it is not hugging, you do not touch the “bidongee”); if you put your left or right elbow towards the wall, that is “elbow bidong”; if you lean your head forward, it is called “head bidong”; when you are much taller than the “bidongee”, we call it “high-handed bidong”; when the “bidonger” is very strong and has chest muscle, this is “chest bidong”. “Bidong” became popular rapidly in Taiwan and other regions in China. It usually happens when there is an ambiguous relationship between a man and a woman. If the man wants the woman to be his girlfriend, this is exactly when he needs to use “bidong” to improve their intimacy. It is also quite effective in other situations, for example, the woman is mad at her boyfriend’s being late for the date and she does not want to listen to any excuses given by him at the moment. In order to make her calm down and listen, the man needs some compelling tricks, so he can push his girlfriend to the wall, stare at her eyes genuinely, and whisper gently besides her ears “please forgive me, I cannot live without you”. Behaviours like these can immediately relieve his girlfriend’s anger. Such behaviour is not only favoured by Chinese or Japanese women, a video survey made by Asian Ross shows that western girls also feel excited and shy under this situation. “That is amazing, I will definitely date you after that,” said one of the interviewees after the host demonstrated how it worked (). As a famous Chinese saying goes, women are made of water – they do not have specific forms or criteria, they are not arguable, they never listen to men’s reasons, the only thing they want is proof. To show them how much you love them and make them listen, “bidong” will be a good idea. This is one of the reasons why it is so popular.Siming Wang said she first knew the word “bidong” from a Chinese TV series called He Yi Sheng Xiao Mo (English name: My Sunshine), which was adapted from a fan fiction written by Man Gu. It was about an intricate love story between Mosheng Zhao (the heroine’s name) and Yishen He (the hero’s name). It had 32 episodes and showed on TV in 2014 in mainland China. It received a great success and had almost 300-million audience rating on a single day, and the last episode won an audience rating of 355,52 millions. It is undoubtedly a breakthrough in the TV series and raised the hit of “bidong”.“When I first saw Yishen He pushed Mosheng Zhao towards the wall and kissed her violently, I felt shocked rather than romantic, to be honest,” said Siming. “But my friend sitting next to me seemed to be very excited about this. She flushed and imagined such scene happening on her. I asked her what was going on. Then she explained to me this was ‘bidong’ and felt surprised at my ignorance because it was so hot among young people in China these days.” Peng Shu said he first knew this word from Japanese cartoons because he was learning Japanese at that time and watching Japanese cartoons and films to improve his oral and listening skills. “When I first heard ‘bidong’ in 2014, I thought it was a way for men to reveal and tell their true feeling to the women they loved. It is a bit high-handed, I know. But I think it works very well, it can give an air of excitement in a relationship, meanwhile it can show men’s power,” said Peng Shu.Showing masculinity is another reason to explain the hit. “Bidong” can show the power and dictatorship of “bidongers” when pushing “bidongees” to the wall and looking over them from a higher angle. “Bidongers” want “bidongees” to be submissive and admire their peremptory power. “Bidong” can not only improve lovers’ relationship but also boost sale. By the end of 2014, one UNIQLO spin-off store named GU in Tokyo Ginza shopping centre used this strategy to attract more female costumers to buy the clothes and accessories. Once they picked something they liked, some male shop assistants would force them to the wall and gently say to them that “this sweater is so suitable on you” or “you look so adorable when dressing this skirt”(). Women are impetuous shoppers, UNIQLO fully understood their minds and catered for their need to hear bountiful compliments. Many Chinese customers said they did not mind how high the price was as long as they could also have such service in their local clothes stores.“I want to be ‘bidonged’ by the one I liked,” said Siming. “It is like the catalyst of love. It can improve your relationship, but only when you two are experiencing the ambiguous stage – everything is unspeakable, that is why it is so attractive and interesting. The air gets hot and the heart beats so fast that it might jump out of your throat the next minute. But I don’t think such feeling still exists when you are in a stable relationship, it will be like touching your right hand with your left hand. It just doesn’t work.”Actually, there is a disputable saying now in China that “those who have not experienced ‘bidong’ will never know the true feeling of falling in love”. To most women, falling in love is the moment of strong heart beats, “bidong” can make that come true.However, this might not be the case for everyone. “I don’t think ‘bidong’ is the only way to feel love,” said Siming. Peng Shu also disagreed with this saying, he did not think all women were obsessed by “bidong”. “Those who agree with this sentence might have not experienced true love, they just try to follow the hit. There are so many ways to show your love and care for your girl, for example, tolerate their unpredictable temper, pay attention to their complains or anxiety and make some romantic surprises for them at times. These are all ways of showing and feeling love,” said Peng Shu.Feeling care and attention is the third reason why women are eager for “bidong”. They want someone to protect them, respect them and regard them as princess. “Bidong” is a way to release their tenderness and fragility. It is like telling their would-be boyfriends, current boyfriends or partners that they need to be taken good care of. Yet not all women are so obsessed by this phenomenon, some might think it is a distasteful pressure, others cannot feel the strong heart beats as described, especially with the wrong person, it could be an awful memory. “Not every woman would like to show their weak side, they might not need men’s protection. To others, it can even bring them fear rather than romance. In my opinion, men should not just use some tricks to win women’s hearts, they need other more mature and sophisticated ways to let women feel protected and safe,” said Peng Shu.In a word, “bidong” is a popular way of showing and raising love among men and women in China nowadays, yet it still depends on different persons how efficiently “bidong” works on creating, and most importantly, maintaining their intimacy. It might not be the only way. As Siming said at last, “I’d rather he buy me delicious food when I’m hungry because I’m a ‘foodaholic’, haha……” ................
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