Mrs Sutherland's English Classroom



Step in the structureHow I will do thisExposition This is what is revealed or told at the start of the story. It sets the scene and establishes characters. Not too much, or you will bore your reader, not too little or you will confuse them.Initiating incident Something happens at the start of the story. This kicks off the action by creating a problem, or challenge, or new situation for the main characters.Development This is where the characters try to solve their problems. Any action has to fit the character – a gentle person will not try to solve their problems with a shotgun. The story tests the character: how is this person going to deal with this problem? You cannot sort out the problem too easily or you end up having no story. The character will probably make several unsuccessful attempts to solve the problem, and some of these may lead to turning points within the story. This is how your story develops. It is where we see the action of the story rising.Climax This is the point the story has been leading up to. Afterwards the story may change mood or direction. Resolution After the climax, there will be consequences that affect the fates of those involved. The story should feel properly brought to a close. Personal Reflective WritingWhat you will be assessed on:Content, style and technical accuracyExpress and explore your feelings, experiences and reactions with insight and sensitivityYou will need to show yourself to be thoughtful, mature and wiseTask 1 In groups discuss why the reasons why you think people do well at personal reflective writing. Choosing what to write about:It should not be too hard to choose a topic. You know yourself better than anybody else. You are unique, interesting and well worth writing about.Is there an experience you have that matters to you very much, one that you would like to write about? Remember you must be able to get reflection out of it. Task 2 - Write a paragraph to answer the questions below.What is the worst thing that has ever happened to you?What is the happiest thing that has ever happened to you?What is the saddest thing that has ever happened to you?What is the most frightening thing that has ever happened to you?What is the most confusing thing that has ever happened to you?Which event or time in your life has made you grow up or mature?Which event or time in your life most changed your family?Which event or time in your life was the biggest challenge for you?Which event or time in your life was when you experienced great loss?Which event or time in your life was when you experienced great success?Which event or time in your life was when you experienced failure?Which event or time in your life was when you had to take responsibility?Which event or time in your life made you feel most isolated?Which event or time in your life showed you the best of people/someone?Which event or time in your life showed you the worst of people/someone?Which person has influenced you?Which person has helped you?Which person has hurt you?Which person have you been in most conflict with?Which person have you had the most complicated relationship with?Which one of these could you develop into a full essay? Choose your topic now and write it below…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………Thoughts and FeelingsThis will make your writing come to life. Only you can tell the reader about them.Look at the example below and focus on the thoughts and feelings used. Example 1 “It isn’t just about making scones for tea,” said Miss Adams, straight-backed, cold and rather old for her years, as she introduced the cookery syllabus to the Wednesday class. Beverly Brown, kind, round and pumpkin-faced, deflated instantly like a burst balloon. The lovely Dee Hanratty whispered “Good” behind her hand, “I hate sultanas.” I suddenly got nervous, wondering just how difficult my first cookery lessons were going to be. Did Miss Adams mean we were going to be boing whole lambs and making soufflés then? “We will be doing everything from cooking rice to costing entire meals,” she warned, her voice getting higher with every word. The word rice put the fear of God into me. I’d never eaten the stuff, let alone cooked it.The first lesson, a week later, couldn’t have been easier. My Victoria sandwich rose like a dream and had, according to Miss Adams, a perfect “crumb” and a fine flavour. Even Beverly, who was obviously born both to bake and eat the results, was impressed. I lowered my sugar-topped success into a Peak Frean’s biscuit tin and squeezed it into my duffel bag for the journey home.I couldn’t wait to show my father, who for all his disinterest couldn’t fail to congratulate me. He was later as people always are on occasions like this. I kept looking at the clock, desperate for him to come home. To see and smell my cake. To eat it. The cake had been sitting on the kitchen table, Joan sitting next to it smoking Embassy after Embassy, occasionally glancing in the direction of my cake. “Look at that!” said my father, obviously as proud as punch despite everything. “Isn’t that a beauty?”“Hmm,” said Joan abruptly, swishing her head to the left and blowing out a last cloud of smoke. She then tightened her lips into a straight line and stubbed out her cigarette in the Royal Worcester ashtray like she was trying to squash a cockroach. Task 3The different characters in this example show different emotions, some positive and some negative. Copy and complete the table below to explore these emotions.EmotionFelt byEvidenceDisappointment Beverly Brown“deflated instantly like a burst balloon”People often write well about difficult memories and sad or tragic events as the thoughts and feelings seem to stand out clearer in their minds. Details and DescriptionAs your memories are important you probably recall all minute details you recalled at the time. Many of these details may not be important in themselves but are important to your writing at they will help to bring it to life. Look at the example below.Example 2The meal cannot move on quick enough. I sit there urging everyone to eat up so that we can get to the ice cream. Why would anyone take their time over a ham salad when there is ice cream to follow? There’s the wafer, of course, a thick, smooth fan if we’re lucky, two thin regular wafers if not. I eat them not because they taste good – they are about as flavoursome as a postcard – but because of the way they stick to your bottom lip. There is a moment, shortly after the waitress puts down the battered coupe of ice cream, when life is pretty much perfect. I am not sure it is possible to be happier than I am at this moment. I eat all three flavours separately, trying not to let them merge on the spoon. The vanilla and chocolate are ok together, but the strawberry and chocolate don’t marry well. As the cold, milky balls of ice cream disappear I scrape up every last drop, the edge of the spoon tinkling on the dented silver dish. I try not to scrape too loudly. When every last pool of melted ice has gone I use my finger to catch the drips of vanilla ice and the pearls of condensation that have run down the outside of the dish. The cold ice cream in the hot sun is too much for my mother and she turns discreetly away to use her inhaler. Task 4 List your five sensesReread the exampleNote down the details and description that fit each senseDialogueYou should try to use dialogue in your story. Below is an example of how dialogue is often written. What is wrong with it?544385515049500073660“How could you?” I asked unhappily.“I don’t know,” she replied angrily.“You said to me that you would not do that!” I said tearfully.“I am sorry,” she replied. “Do you forgive me?” she asked.00“How could you?” I asked unhappily.“I don’t know,” she replied angrily.“You said to me that you would not do that!” I said tearfully.“I am sorry,” she replied. “Do you forgive me?” she asked.Look at this second, improved version:012065“How could you?” I asked, my mind reeling.“I don’t know,” she replied. I was amazed to hear anger in her voice. What right did she have to be angry?Tears sprang into my eyes. “You told me you wouldn’t do that!”“I – I’m sorry.” I just stared at her for what seemed like a long time. “Do you forgive me?” she asked at last, finally looking me in the eye.00“How could you?” I asked, my mind reeling.“I don’t know,” she replied. I was amazed to hear anger in her voice. What right did she have to be angry?Tears sprang into my eyes. “You told me you wouldn’t do that!”“I – I’m sorry.” I just stared at her for what seemed like a long time. “Do you forgive me?” she asked at last, finally looking me in the eye.53695603683000What is better about this second example?Task 5Team up with a partner. In one of your jotters, one of you should write down a line of conversation (there is no need to add actions).Keep passing the jotter back and forth, writing lines of the conversation until you have between 5-10 lines.Add description about the characters’ actions and feelings to make it into a good example of dialogue.Being personally reflectiveYou should reflect in a personal sense and also more widely.Reflecting in a personal sense:Examine yourself - you might question or criticise yourself or realise you handled a situation well, think that certain experiences have made you the person you are todayLooking back – have your feelings changed. Do you see that a bad experience may have benefitted you? Does it make more sense when time has passed?Reflect on others – How have others been affected? Have your opinions about other people changed/do you understand their motives more?Task 6Think about what you have chosen to write about. Make notes about your personal reflections.What lessons have you learnt? How has this shaped you?Being widely reflectiveThink about how your experiences have taught you something about life, about society about people in general.Think about how your feelings match those of others, especially about controversial topics and things that people have strong opinions about.Task 7Think about what you have chosen to write about. Make notes about your wider reflections.What lessons have your experiences taught you about life, society or people in general?Example 3 – This is a real example of a pupil’s work which was submitted to the SQA as part of their folioIt was just over seven years ago when my life was turned upside down. I can remember when I got told the news my whole body went cold. I was stuck in this freeze that I just couldn’t get out. It was them haunting words that my mum said to me that I’ll remember to this day “your dad has been locked up sweetheart”. My mum tried to put it in the nicest possible way but I knew what she meant. I already had to deal with the breakup of my mum and dad four years before all this happened. I didn’t usually have much memories with my dad when I think about it, he always choose to do drugs and forgot about me and my mum. The only memories I have with him is the carry on we would have, when he took me swimming and out family trip to Blackpool. I used to look up to my dad, think he was the best dad ever, maybe my thoughts were delusionalThe week when I got told the news about my dad I just remember crying, not eating much, I was just in a bad state of shock. It felt as if my heart had been ripped out. I was very much stressed and couldn’t handle how upset I was. Due to all the things I had been through, I lost a lot of my hair and I felt ugly. Just because of one thing my dad had done it led to this? I even had to deal with getting picked on and having no friends. I was like a person with no soul. I was just lost. If it wasn’t from my mum I don’t know how I’d ever coupe, she is my best friend and has been throughout the years, she’s done a lot for me and I look up to her a lot for that. This whole experience made me feel useless, made me feel as if I was never wanted, I always used to ask myself the same question over and over again... Why did he do it? Why choose drugs over his family? It never made sense to me at such a young age, but as soon as I grew up I realised why and what he did it for. He was a good man, he had a good life to look forward too, but he took the wrong path and lost everything. the path my dad has took makes me more aware of what the dangers of things in life can be, it’s made me think of things before I do them and not make the mistakes that I had watched my dad making. I feel as if it has made me feel as if I am a stronger person inside and out. Watching things that I shouldn’t have seen at such a young age has made me feel a lot older and aware at a young age, and seen what bad things can not only do to a person but do to a family, but tearing all the good things apart, this gave me a lesson in life and i now know what the dangers in life and what it can do to people.I often think about what I would do and say if I could rewind time before he took the wrong path, I would want to tell him how much I loved him, ask him to change for me and to of been the best dad that a kid could ever want, maybe that would have changed his mind, maybe he would look at me and think how precious I was and maybe not throw it all away for something that has turned his life upside down along as turning mines with his. I always get jealous and still do to this day when I see children that have such a close relationship with their dad. I just wanted that to be me. It made me shed a tear every time, Why? Why? Why? Always went through my head. What made him do this to me? Didn’t he think about seeing me grow up, being at every birthday and Christmas, he missed out on a lot of my childhood and it always hurts me to say this but we actually don’t have a close relationship that I wish I would have had with my dad. I see him now and again when I’m at my nanas house, but I have this hate for him that will never go away, he made my childhood hard, he hurt me hard, but no matter what he is still my dad and I’ll love him no matter what, but I still always think what it? What If things went differently, what if he took the right path, would my life be completely different? I’ll never know. Task 8Now you have read this example you are going to analyse it in detail.Every time you find the writer sharing thoughts underline/highlight it in blueEvery time you find the writer sharing feelings circle it in redEvery time you find the writer using detail or description put a box around it in greenEvery time you see the writer using dialogue underline/highlight in yellowEvery time you find the writer being reflective underline it in black for personal reflections and orange for wider reflectionsWrite a couple of sentences to explain what made it a good piece of writing.Suggest two things the writer could have done that would have made the work even better. Task 9Plan your piece of personal writingWhat event or experience are you going to write about?What happened (beginning, middle and end)Your thoughtsYour feelingsWhat detail and description could you use? (think about setting and other people involved)What dialogue occurred?What storytelling techniques could you use and at what points in your writing? (examples: dialogue, imagery, flashback, minor sentence, repetition, show don’t tell, starting at a moment of action, short sentence or paragraph, jump cut to a different scene or action, use of incident or anecdote)Personal reflectionsWider reflections ................
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