Josh - SimplyScripts



Josh

by

Isaiah McCants

“The Loving Sound of Hate”

(pilot)

DATE STARTED: NOVEMBER

FINISHED: JULY 03, 2010

1. INT. COLD OPEN. CLASSROOM. AFTERNOON.

JOSH JACOB, 17, Lanky, Oliver Sykes-looking———minus the tattoos, and flat-colored hair desperately tries to wipe the loose running snot from his nose.

JOSH

Mrs. Pendleton, do you have any tissue?

LESLIE PENDLETON, 33, the English teacher for eleventh grade.

MRS. PENDLETON

Here, this is all I have.

She hands him that hard, brown type of paper towel.

JOSH

Gee, thanks.

As he takes the paper, MAIKEL CLAIBORNE, 16, rude, snotty, and talkative asks him...

MAIKEL

(grossed out)

Are you about to blow your nose with that?

JOSH

No. I’m gonna take this to the bathroom with

me ‘cause I don’t like the toilet paper in

there. It’s too soft.

He walks back to his seat as Maikel and her friend ARMESHA POWELL look disgusted at him.

JOSH

(to himself)

Idiots.

Josh sits back down at his seat. Next to him is his best friend,

SAM WEISS. He is 16, emo-skater-looking, goofy and loyal. He shows Josh his assignment.

SAM

Hey, how do you do this?

JOSH

Well, turn the paper right side up first.

(examining)

Let’s see, “Read ‘...Into That Good Night’

then ANSWER the questions.”

SAM

Sooo... What do we have to do now?

JOSH

It says to study for the test on Friday.

SAM

No way! What test?

JOSH

You know what test I’m talking about! The test

on why iced tea taste better sweet.

SAM

Oh, that test? Alright gotcha!

Josh shakes his head.

JOSH

(to himself)

And I actually felt bad that time.

He turns back to Sam.

JOSH

You have to read this story and answer the

questions they ask you at the end. There’s no

test on iced tea.

Sam looks upset. Josh looks back.

SAM

Really?

JOSH

Yeah.

SAM

I would’ve aced that thing!

Josh turns back around.

JOSH

(to himself)

Now I don’t feel bad anymore.

AS JOSH LOOKS AT SAM AND THEN FOCUSES BACK ON HIS ASSIGNMENT:

END OF COLD OPEN.

ACT ONE

2. INT. HALLWAY. AFTER ENGLISH.

Josh and Sam walk down the hallway.

JOSH

I’m gonna be late again.

SAM

Well who cares? I’m always late.

Josh looks away.

JOSH

I know.

They turn left.

SAM

Hey, I called you last night, you

sounded annoyed.

JOSH

My mom called.

SAM

What’d she say?

JOSH

(groaning)

I don’t know, I didn’t answer. But

a few days ago, Maryanne said she’s

coming to visit in December and staying

until April.

(then realizing)

Which means she’s staying for my birthday

and to make things worse, she’s bringing

the idiot fiancé. God isn’t that just cake?

They stop at Josh’s locker and he puts his book away and gets his other ones.

JOSH (cont’d)

So let me tell ya what happened last night:

She calls and makes me go downstairs to ask

Maryanne if she can send her money ‘cause Dane

got laid off recently which was kind of a good

thing ‘cause then I could watch the TV down

there. Then after that, she asks Maryanne to

go to Wal-Mart to get contact prescriptions that

she’s gonna let expire and not get it renewed

until two years later--renewed by asking Maryanne

to go and get it and send it to her while she‘s

wherever!

He puts his HISTORY textbook in his bag.

SAM

Why do you always carry your books?

JOSH

I don’t know. I think I need ‘em for my classes.

JOSH (cont’d)

So anyways, when they leave, she sticks

me with the baby. But the good news is

that Rachel comes over and she asks if

she can do anything to help. I told her,

“yeah, put the cat in the crib with the baby.”

SAM

(captivated)

Did she do it?

Josh just glares at Sam with disdain.

JOSH

(beat)

Yes, Intelligence. Yes she did.

As the boys continue walking and out of frame we...

DISSOLVE TO:

3. INT. CREATIVE WRITING CLASS.

Josh sits in front of his other best friend RACHEL CULLERS, Sam and Josh’s friend since childhood. 16, ALL ROSE AND HONEY, not sexy but not ugly. Just normal. Intelligent and gentle eyes.

The whole class is watching SHORT FILMS MADE BY FOREIGN DIRECTORS.

RACHEL

(rapt)

Oh my god, I wanna go to Paris.

JOSH

I wanna go home.

Rachel sucks her teeth in an “Oh you!” way.

JOSH

(to the TV)

Oh come on, they got the camera

shots all wrong.

RACHEL

I think they look fine.

JOSH

You don’t do an aerial shot while

someone’s talking. It ruins the

whole thing.

RACHEL

You can see the snow in the trees. It

looks nice.

JOSH

Okay, yeah, the shot is nice but he has

an unnecessary shot in there.

RACHEL

God, I’d hate to be your wife.

JOSH

I don’t have wives I have mistresses

and one night stands.

RACHEL

(beat, encouragingly)

Well good luck with that. I’m actually

gonna have a career in something.

(cont’d)

My mom always says “do what you love

and the cash will follow.”

JOSH

And you love rich men.

RACHEL

(unfazed)

Haha.

They both laugh. The lights come on as the films are finished. Their teacher, MR. GRANT, mid-thirties, weird in a cool way, and one of the few up-to-date teachers.

MR. GRANT

Okay, well, after watching that, tell

me some things you guys learned or

liked or noticed.

Josh raises his hand.

MR. GRANT

Yes, Josh!

JOSH

Wrong camera angles. You don’t cut

off a shot of someone talking to do

a quick shot of their car driving in

the forest.

RACHEL

I liked it Mr. Grant.

MR. GRANT

Well good. Because for your homework

you all have to write a short story

and turn it into a script. Due by next

week and no less than 10 pages.

The bell rings. School’s out. But before they leave,

MR. GRANT

(to the class)

Guys, repeat after me,

(the class repeats this saying)

“Always wear your seatbelt, never drive

impaired, never drive with someone who

is impaired, don’t speed, come back in

one peace.”

(to the class, not repeating)

Now get outta here.

RACHEL

What are you gonna write about?

JOSH

Bladder control.

DISSOLVE TO:

4. INT. WANDER HOUSE. AFTER SCHOOL.

It’s a not so well looking home. Normal-sized, two stories and it looks even filthier and messier inside. Cracked walls, bad furniture, no AC, name it.

Josh comes through the door.

JOSH

Maryanne?

MARYANNE (O.S.)

In here.

5. INT. KITCHEN.

Josh comes into the kitchen to see Maryanne under the sink.

MARYANNE

Hey. How was school?

MARYANNE WANDER. Forties, caring, Josh’s aunt/legal guardian. She’s no nonsense.

JOSH

Like every other day.

MARYANNE

Oh, okay. Homework?

JOSH

I have to write a story.

MARYANNE

Really?

JOSH

Yeah, really.

MARYANNE

Did the meat guy come yet?

JOSH

Do you see meat on the table?

He watches Maryanne wiggle around on the floor.

JOSH

What are you doing?

MARYANNE

(struggling)

I’m trying to put this soap bottle

back into the soap dispenser.

Josh sees she’s trying WAY TOO HARD and she‘s hating every second of being on the dirty floor.

JOSH

Oh, okay.

Josh walks out of the kitchen. Maryanne continues to struggle.

6. INT. JOSH’S ROOM.

Posters all over the room, METALLICA, SLAYER, BRING ME THE HORIZON, a few undiscovered bands, local bands, and even a KEYSHIA COLE and DESTINY’S CHILD poster over his bed. Drawings on the walls too. Movies too. It’s a creative but still dulled looking room.

Josh throws his bag onto his bed and turns on his laptop. While the laptop loads…

JOSH

(to himself)

Okay… What am I gonna write about?

He opens up Microsoft Word. He’s thinking. Just then, he clicks on something. Windows Media Player. He plays a song and begins to move with it.

TIME DISSOLVE TO:

7. INT. JOSH’S ROOM. MAYBE THIRTY MINUTES LATER.

Josh drums on the desk. He has only written three sentences so far.

JOSH

The name of the cat was…

TIME DISSOLVE TO:

8. INT. JOSH’S ROOM. AN HOUR LATER.

Still has those three sentences. He picks up his cell phone.

JOSH

(into phone)

Hi Mrs. Weiss, is Sam there?

DISSOLVE TO:

9. INT. JOSH’S HOUSE. KITCHEN. MORNING (DAY 2).

Maryanne and her husband, CHARLIE. He is older than she is and is a man of confidence.

Josh comes down stairs.

MARYANNE

Good morning.

JOSH

(irritated)

Morning.

(beat)

Four hours last night and I

can’t even think of one thing

to write for an assignment.

MARYANNE

Well what kind of story do you

have to write?

JOSH

I have to write a no less than

ten page short story and I have

to turn it into a script.

CHARLIE

Well that should be no problem.

JOSH

You write it then. It’s due tomorrow.

CHARLIE

I can’t I have to work.

(points to Maryanne)

Ask your aunt though. She’s not

goin’ anywhere.

Maryanne gives Charlie a dirty look. She’s knows what he meant.

MARYANNE

(to the both of them)

No. ‘Sides I have a job interview today.

CHARLIE

Really? With who?

MARYANNE

Food prep at the hospital.

CHARLIE

Oh. What are the hours?

MARYANNE

12-8. So you’ll have to learn how

to cook soon.

CHARLIE

I can cook.

MARYANNE

Take out isn’t cooking.

CHARLIE

Says who? Food gets made, it gets

put on the table.

MARYANNE

The kids you feed who get tired of it

eventually.

Out of nowhere,

JOSH

Well, I have a job at a diner so

I can eat there.

MARYANNE

(could care less)

Yeah, sure you can if you want.

CHARLIE

(to Josh)

Just bring me and your cousin back

something when you get off.

JOSH

You have to pick me up anyways. Just

eat when you get there.

Charlie takes a sip of his orange juice then a bite of his bagel. He looks at Josh for a moment.

CHARLIE

(casual)

Okay.

JOSH

Really?

CHARLIE

No! Of course not. Have it ready when

I get there.

JOSH

Of course.

(looks at his watch)

Well, I best be goin’ to school now.

He holds out his hand to both Charlie and Maryanne.

MARYANNE

What?

JOSH

I need $2.00. I lost my bus pass.

MARYANNE

(reluctant)

Fine. Even though you probably didn’t

loose it, here.

JOSH

Thanks. Later.

He’s out the door.

MARYANNE

Oh he’s somethin’ isn’t he honey?

CAHRLIE

Yep, he is. And so is our own.

MARYANNE

But I’d trade ‘em both in for central

air conditioning.

CHARLIE

You said it!

He holds out his hand in a “pound it” way. And they both pound it.

DISSOLVE TO:

10. INT. GEOMETRY CLASS. MORNING.

The class sits semi-quietly doing an assignment. When IENDEA GEREALD walks in the classroom. Black, joker, pudgy, likeable. His name is pronounced EYE-N-DAY.

IENDEA

It smells like diarrhea in that

bathroom.

The class laughs. Their teacher,

MRS. EAK, if someone could permanently feel the pain after putting their hand in a blender... That’s how she is. Says,

MRS. EAK

(means it)

Iendea, that was uncalled for.

Sit down.

Iendea fights a laugh.

IENDEA

Sorry.

He walks back to his seat. The laugh finally comes out.

MRS. EAK

(cont’d)

At least say or talk about something

school related.

A student named MARCUS answers this.

MARCUS

I like comin’ to school. I like comin’

To school with no draws on. Shoot, I

ain’t wearin’ draws right now.

The class laughs even harder at that. A few “eewwws” are heard too.

MRS. EAK

Marcus, no more.

MARCUS

I’m just sayin’, why would I buy

something to wear that ain’t nobody

gonna see?

JOSH

Yeah, I totally agree with Marcus.

Other than getting ball rashes and

sores, why would you pay for boxers

when nobody‘s gonna see them?

The class laughs at this as well. Mrs. Eak is starting to frown.

MRS. EAK

Hey! We’re taking a test. Everybody

be quiet!

The class--well we know what happens!

MRS. EAK

That’s it. Next one who talks gets a

referral. Sometimes this class can be

so crooked.

JOSH

(under his breath)

Like your face.

She’s done.

MRS. EAK

Okay, that’s it.

She walks to her desk to get the referrals. After she gets the referrals, she goes to Josh’s desk.

MRS. EAK

Sign your name here...Initials here.

(takes it off the desk)

Your aunt is not gonna be a happy camper

when she gets this.

JOSH

There goes my new stereo system.

MRS. EAK

Out.

Josh gets his things as does as she says.

DISSOLVE TO:

11. INT. OFFICE.

Josh sits slouched in a chair waiting for his principal. When, KELLY PRESTON comes to his side.

KELLY

Hi Josh. What are you doing in here?

KELLY is 16. Her body is curved and plump in all the right places, her eyes are a wonderful color of blue with an even bluer outline around them, her skin is perfectly toned and she’s got intelligence.

JOSH

I got in trouble.

KELLY

Oh.

JOSH

Why are you in here?

KELLY

(holds up her name tag)

Uh, I’m an office aid this period?

JOSH

Oh yeah.

KELLY

Well, I gotta go give these slips.

JOSH

Bye.

Just as Kelly leaves, MARYANNE enters.

JOSH

(delicately)

Hi, Maryanne.

MARYANNE

I’m gonna kick your butt. I have to

be at the hospital in—

(checks her cell phone)

ten minutes. What happened now?

JOSH

She provoked me.

Just then, the principal’s door opens. Out walks MR. HALL. Josh and Maryanne look in his direction.

MR. HALL

(holds out his hand)

Mrs. Wander, hello, nice to see

you...again.

Maryanne nods.

MR. HALL

(cont’d)

Come in.

Josh reluctantly gets up and follows.

12. INT. PRINCIPALS OFFICE.

All three sit down. Josh is not the least bit fazed. Neither is Maryanne or Mr. Hall.

MR. HALL

Josh’s Geometry teacher had written

him up for

(looks at the referral)

“CLASSROOM/CAMPUS DISRUPTIVE DEMONSTRATION”

Mr. Hall looks at Maryanne, who looks at Josh.

JOSH

(clearing up)

Everyone in the class hates Ms. Eak.

So everyone makes fun of her on purpose.

MARYANNE

So?

JOSH

(cont’d)

So if I don’t make fun of her too,

I’ll be the odd one out and I don’t

need that.

MARYANNE

(comforting)

Well, it’s too late for that, honey.

You’re already the odd one out.

Josh’s jaw drops.

MR. HALL

This isn’t the first case of any type

of disruption or profanity with him,

Mrs. Wander.

MARYANNE

What else happened?

Josh sinks in his chair.

MR. HALL

(checking on the computer)

Well, on the 4th of September, he was

Given ISS for language in his English

class.

MARYANNE

(to Josh, surprised)

What?

JOSH

She called Sam stupid.

MARYANNE

So you tell her that?

JOSH

I was sticking up for him.

MARYANNE

(derisive)

Oh, well that makes it much better.

And when did you have ISS?

MR. HALL

Well, we had called your house phone

and left messages. Hold on a second,

(reads paper)

Is this your cell phone number?

402-555-3891?

Maryanne gives out and aggravated groan. Josh sinks lower.

MARYANNE

(to Mr. Hall but LOOKS at Josh)

No. That’s his cell phone number.

Josh’s eyes wander around and he now turns his head fully away.

DISSOLVE TO:

13. INT. WANDER HOUSE. AFTERNOON. AFTER SCHOOL.

Josh is on the couch watching television when, BRANDON WANDER comes in. He’s 12, dresses the same way as Josh, but with brighter colors, and he’s Charlie and Maryanne’s only child.

BRANDON

Mom said you’re in big trouble.

JOSH

(unfazed)

Ooh, I quiver with fear.

Maryanne walks in.

MARYANNE

What are you doing down here?

You’re grounded, remember?

JOSH

No.

MARYANNE

Upstairs.

JOSH

How long?

MARYANNE

Two weeks.

JOSH

Why?

MARYANNE

You can make fun of me and your

uncle and your peers, but don’t

you ever make fun of a teacher in

front of them.

BRANDON

(to Josh)

Yeah.

MARYANNE

(to Brandon)

Shut up, honey.

MARYANNE (cont’d)

(to Josh)

I could’ve grounded you longer

After that stunt you pulled with

the phone number, and you called

some girl a name.

JOSH (CONT’D)

For the hundredth time, I was sticking

up for Sam. And the phone thing I just

didn’t want to get in more trouble at

home.

MARYANNE

Look, Sam can stick up for himself. He’s

not stu—

(debating pause)

Okay, I’ll give you that one. But the

phone! You’re grounded. For FOUR weeks now.

She walks to the kitchen.

JOSH

Why the extra two weeks?

MARYANNE

(still walking)

Because I can.

He keeps on watching TV.

BRANDON

Don’t you have any homework?

MARYANNE

(to Josh)

Yeah, go do it.

Josh gives Brandon a look.

BRANDON

(triumphant)

You heard her. Get upstairs.

Josh gets up and casually walks, then STRONGLY pushing Brandon down.

BRANDON

That didn’t even hurt.

JOSH

(still walking up the stairs)

Just wait till you go to sleep tonight.

DISSOLVE TO:

14. INT. WANDER HOUSE. CHARLIE AND MARYANNE’S BEDROOM. NIGHT.

Maryanne is already in bed. Charlie is already dressed to sleep, but he just walks in the room.

CHARLIE

Honey, why are there wet bags filled with clothes?

MARYANNE

The dryer broke. I have to take my clothes

down to the Laundromat. You can take yours tomorrow.

Charlie sucks his teeth. He’s visibly not happy about that.

CHARLIE

Then what am I supposed to wear to work

tomorrow?

MARYANNE

They’re open 24/7; just get there early

and dry them.

(gasps)

Or better, go now. And take mine while

your at it.

CHARLIE

I’m not getting up at what? 3 in the

morning to go dry my clothes. We can’t

afford much as it is. Do you know how

much it’s gonna cost to go dry our clothes

every Saturday until we get a new dryer?

MARYANNE

Well, I’m sorry the dryer broke and you

have to do your own laundry. I mean, this

is like what, the first time?

CHARLIE

What about the kids? Do you know how much

clothes they have?

MARYANNE

Josh works and Brandon gets a $10.00

allowance. (CONT’D)

MARYANNE (CONT’D)

Would you relax and stop being a

baby. Let me do my job and

you do yours.

She lies down. Charlie gets in. Both of them annoyed with one another.

MARYANNE

I was gonna squeeze you in tonight.

CHARLIE

I can’t do your job remember? That

one’s a household chore.

MARYANNE

Asshole.

Charlie looks over, and then turns back. The lights go out and we...

DISSOLVE TO:

15. INT. WANDER HOUSE. MORNING. (DAY 3)

Josh and Brandon come in the kitchen, dressed and ready for breakfast.

MARYANNE

(to Brandon)

Did you brush your teeth?

BRANDON

No. That’s what gum’s for.

MARYANNE

Oh my god. Gimme some.

He does so and goes to the stove for bacon and pancakes.

JOSH

Gross.

MARYANNE

What? I just asked for some. I

actually brushed my teeth unlike

you two.

(remembering something)

Josh, how come whenever your mother

calls you don’t answer the phone?

Josh sees where this is going.

JOSH

When does she call?

MARYANNE

She said she called last night three

times.

JOSH

What time?

MARYANNE

Maybe six or nine?

JOSH

Oh, I was probably asleep.

MARYANNE

(unsure)

Uh-huh

BRANDON

(to Maryanne)

Gimme the syrup!

Maryanne boorishly passes it to him.

MARYANNE

Here.

BRANDON

Thanks.

JOSH

(to Maryanne)

What did she wanna know?

MARYANNE

You would know if you answered the

phone.

JOSH

(carefully)

I was asleep probably. So, just

tell me.

MARYANNE

She said she and Dane found a place to

stay; the baby’s doing good and she found

a job.

JOSH

What, Dane’s gonna stay home now?

MARYANNE

He has a job.

JOSH

Oh, I thought he was gonna stay home.

MARYANNE

Why would you think that? He always takes

good care of your mother.

JOSH

I was just asking.

MARYANNE

(still uncertain)

Alright. Just thought you were mad at her

or somethin’.

Josh quickly jumps to conclusions with her about...

JOSH

(playing it cool and calm)

Why would I be mad? ‘Cause she’s in

Washington and I’m here? Or what happened

the day she went back to Washington?

Maryanne’s catching on to this and Josh grasps himself.

MARYANNE

No, I was just wondering. That’s

all.

THROUGH THE BACK DOOR OF THE HOUSE – SAM WALKS IN.

MARYANNE

Hi, Sam.

SAM

‘Sup Mrs. Wander. How’s life?

MARYANNE

It’d be better if I wasn’t married.

SAM

What happened between you and Mr. Wander?

Josh and Maryanne exchange worn looks.

JOSH

See?

MARYANNE

Eat your food.

Sam goes over to the counter. He examines the food.

SAM

Jeez, bacon, eggs, and pancakes

again? Nothing’s ever new at

this house.

CHARLIE WALKS IN with a newspaper in his arm and coffee already on the table for him.

CHARLIE

(under his breath)

Wouldn’t have that problem if you

were eatin’ breakfast at your own

house.

Sam turns around as he heard that.

SAM

Mornin’ Mr. Wander.

CHARLIE

Mornin’ Sam.

Sam looks at his watch.

SAM

Oh, I’m gonna be late. Bye Josh.

Bye everybody.

They all say bye. Then, Josh remembers something.

JOSH

(calling)

Sam!!!

Sam comes back in. He eyes something.

SAM

Oh, thanks, I almost forgot.

He takes a plate of breakfast out the door with him.

CHARLIE

(to Sam)

Have fun today and bring the plate

back.

SAM

(calling)

Will do.

Josh gets up from the table.

JOSH

You know were not gettin’ that plate

back.

CHARLIE

(immediately)

It was worth a shot.

MARYANNE

So I see you went to the Laundromat

after all.

CHARLIE

No, these are yesterday’s clothes.

See the stain?

MARYANNE

Oh yeah.

She pats the stain on his shirt. Then,

DING-DONG

The doorbell rings.

JOSH

I’ll get it. It might be a psychopath.

16. INT. LIVING ROOM.

Josh walks to the door and opens it to reveal LYNN PENNINGTON, 15, kind, attractive, preppy and long blackish-brown hair.

LYNN

Hi, I’m Lynn Pennington. My family

just moved in across the street.

Josh is taken back. He thinks for a minute. Finally,

JOSH

(slowly)

And you are telling me why?

Lynn is taken back.

LYNN

Just being neighborly. We moved

Here from Tampa.

JOSH

(giving up)

Ah, well, come in.

Inside Lynn examines the house. Maryanne comes in.

JOSH

This is Maryanne, the tenant.

Maryanne looks at Josh.

MARYANNE

(to Josh)

Yeah, and you’re six years

behind rent.

Lynn and Maryanne shake hands.

MARYANNE

Hi, I’m Maryanne, his aunt.

LYNN

Hi, I’m Lynn. This is a nice

place you have here.

MARYANNE

I take it you don’t get out much.

Lynn sighs in an “oh you’re jokes!” type of way. She doesn’t know this family well at all.

LYNN

No really. I like the kitchen.

JOSH

You like sticky floors and

rotting cabinets?

Lynn examines the kitchen closely.

LYNN

Yeah, it looks fine to me.

Maryanne walks up to Lynn a little closer.

MARYANNE

Well, Lynn, I’ve known you for

two minutes and already, I like

you a lot more than I like my own

son...and I see you’ve already met

Dennis Miller.

Josh rolls his eyes. Lynn smiles at him. He looks away.

MARYANNE

Come on, Lynn. I’ll give you a grand tour

of the house. That way if you ever need

to come somewhere while you’re folks are out of

town, you’re always welcome here.

They EXIT OUT OF FRAME into the kitchen. Josh still stands there.

STILL ON JOSH AS HE HEARS:

MARYANNE

(cont’d and o.s.)

Now since you like the kitchen

so much, you’ll really love the

basement. Now don’t mind the really

old steep steps. We like ‘em that

way. The boiler broke so it’s really

cold down here.

Josh chuckles.

DISSOLVE TO:

17. INT. ELKHORN DINER. AFTERNOON.

Josh’s job. It’s a very nice-looking diner. Delicious-smelling food with people who live off of coffee and bad cigarettes.

18. INT. KITCHEN.

RICKY, 18, lofty and crafty droopily walks to the coffee maker.

RICKY

(to anyone)

Anyone know if we’ve got any

regular coffee? The lady at

my table prefers it.

Josh gives him the Decaf.

RICKY

That’s Decaf.

Josh puts the Decaf back on the holder. Then, he switches the EMPTY Regular pot onto the DECAF holder.

JOSH

Here.

Ricky looks at the pot and scoffs.

RICKY

Ah who cares? It’s coffee. So,

is there anyone new in your life,

Josh?

JOSH

No, Lisa. No woman will ever meet

my needs.

(upbeat)

Anyone new in yours?

RICKY

Yep. Two months; I gave her a

promise ring.

JOSH

Why? You feel that insecure about

her being around other guys you’re

gonna try and trap her with a promise

ring?

RICKY

She just makes me feel... a way that

I haven’t felt in a while.

JOSH

No one makes you feel like that in

eight weeks.

RICKY

Yeah, but that’s you. You have very

complex standards, because you’re a

complex individual.

JOSH

I’m not a complex individual. It’s

“You do what I say and nothing will

go wrong.”

Ricky shakes his head.

JOSH

Don’t worry if I never find the one.

I practice homosexuality just in case.

RICKY

Just lower your guard.

JOSH

Ricky, this is me in good shape. If

you haven’t noticed. And if you have,

well, then this whole conversation is

a waste of time.

Josh Pats him on the shoulder.

JOSH

Now excuse us both. I’ve got a table

to wait and you’ve got to give this

lady her coffee.

JOSH CROSSES OFF.

RICKY

(joking)

What a douche.

19. INT. BOOTH.

A usual-looking couple sits in the booth as Josh comes up to them.

JOSH

Hi, welcome to Elkhorn Diner. I’m

Josh I’ll be your server yeah, yeah,

yeah. May I suggest you try our new

Onion Bacon Burger? It’s our new burger

with meat, mushrooms, jarlsberg, onion,

lettuce, tomato, and your choice of

bacon—Canadian, Virginian, or Hickory.

But really, without the bacon, it’s

just a regular cheeseburger.

LADY

You look a little young for a waiter.

JOSH

Massive drugs.

LADY

I’m sorry. It was none of my business.

JOSH

(incensed)

You’re damn right.

(normally)

So, can I start you guys off with a few

drinks?

DISSOLVE TO:

20. EXT. WANDER HOUSE. NIGHT.

Josh walks up to the front door; he is visibly worn out

JOSH

How can I deal with those people

every day? Isn’t Sam bad enough,

God? Well, at least I stole the

tiramisu from the sweets counter.

(holds the tiramisu up)

Just you and me tonight, precious.

He puts the key in the door.

21. INT. WANDER HOUSE. LIVING ROOM.

Josh sees Brandon asleep on the couch with the TV still on. The program he was watching is long over. News at 9 is on now. Josh takes off his coat and throws it on Brandon who doesn’t move.

22. INT. WANDER HOUSE. KITCHEN.

Maryanne is reading the paper. Josh sits down.

JOSH

It’s a little backwards don’t you think?

MARYANNE

There’s nothing else to do in the house.

JOSH

You can go to sleep.

He goes to get a CLEAN fork out of the BIN from the sink. While his back is turned, Maryanne opens the box with Josh’s tiramisu. She takes the box to the sink, gets a fork and eats it. Josh just looks at the box.

JOSH

You can go somewhere else now, Maryanne.

Maryanne’s too busy eating the tiramisu.

MARYANNE

(mouth full)

Hmm?

Josh sighs.

JOSH

Nothing. I’ll just go to bed now like I

do every night after I get home from a

long day at work.

MARYANNE

Okay, goodnight.

JOSH

(mocking tone)

Bite me.

END OF ACT ONE

ACT TWO

23. INT. HIGH SCHOOL. ENGLISH CLASS. AFTERNOON.

In English class, Mrs. Pendleton hands the class the assignments they had begin to work on last class. The classroom door opens to see MR. HALL standing with a new student beside him. Lynn.

MR. HALL

Miss Pendleton, here’s you’re new

student, the one I was telling you

about last week.

Mrs. Pendleton looks at Lynn like it’s an examination. And she’s passed.

MRS. PENDLETON

(not caring)

Welcome. Take a seat somewhere.

Lynn spots Josh.

LYNN

(sitting down next to him)

Hi, Josh!

Josh looks at her.

JOSH

Bye, Lynn.

LYNN

What were the last few assignments

from last class?

JOSH

I don’t know.

SAM

Yes you do! Remember? It was about

that iced-tea test.

JOSH

Bad dog.

Lynn holds her hand out to Sam.

LYNN

Hi, I’m Lynn. I just moved in next

door to Josh.

SAM

Sam. But you can call me Sam.

Lynn is confused.

JOSH

(off her look)

Don’t worry, you get used to it.

LYNN

Well, Sam, it’s nice to meet you.

SAM

You too. I’m surprised Josh didn’t

tell me he got new neighbors.

JOSH

Why would I tell you that? It’s

nothing exciting.

SAM

(to Lynn)

Forgive Josh’s militarisms.

Both Lynn and Josh look at Sam.

SAM (CONT’D)

He doesn’t like that many people.

I would know, ‘cause I’m the only

friend he has—well, me and Rachel.

He doesn’t like to get very close

to people.

LYNN

(flirtatious)

Who’s Rachel?

JOSH

My pet zebra.

SAM

She’s our oldest friend. Her dad owns

one of the delis in town.

LYNN

Oh, I don’t eat meat.

The whole class turns around and looks at Lynn. “Are you insane?!”

JOSH

(to the class)

Its okay, she’s new in town.

The class turns back around.

JOSH

Look at you, the first day and

you’re already making a bad

impression.

Lynn’s not buying the tough, sarcasm act. She smiles at him. Josh’s face doesn’t change.

LYNN

You know you come off all mean

and sarcastic, but I can tell you

have a good heart. I can also tell

that we’re gonna be really good

friends soon.

Josh goes back to his assignment.

JOSH

Pleasure.

LYNN

So anyways, what are we doing?

JOSH

An assignment.

LYNN

Was that supposed to be sarcasm?

JOSH

No, that was me telling you what

we were doing.

AS ALL THREE OF THEM CONTINUE THEIR WORK:

DISSOLVE TO:

24. INT. ELKHORN DINER. KITCHEN. AFTER SCHOOL.

In the kitchen/ pickup counter Josh is seen washing the dishes. Ricky is seen finishing cooking the order he was given. He is wearing a goofy design on his apron and his hat has cat’s ears on each side.

Up to the pickup comes GINA GOLDEN, 19, pretty, from Georgia, and has a thick accent to prove it.

GINA

Ricky, what’s that on your head?

RICKY

(with pride)

It’s my InuYasha hat. It makes me

look awesome.

GINA

It makes you look stupid.

JOSH

(to Ricky)

Told ya.

RICKY

(to both of them)

Don’t hate on the hat.

GINA

I’m not hatin’, I just said it

makes you look stupid.

JOSH and GINA

And creepy.

RICKY

Whatever, this is a certified

hat that will help me get women.

GINA

To not talk to you? ‘Cause it’s

not makin’ me anymore attracted

to you.

JOSH

You’re a woman?

Gina frowns and CROSSES OFF, taking the plates to her table.

GINA

Whatever!

As Josh and Ricky go back to their work, their boss, JARED comes in.

JARED

Josh, I’m gonna need you three

to stay late next Friday and

Saturday.

RICKY

Sure.

JOSH

(to Jared)

What?

JARED

I need you to stay late. Rose

and the others already pulled

out and I won’t be in town next

week.

JOSH

I can’t. I have to stay home and

do nothing.

JARED

C’mon, can’t you just be on board?

Ricky and Gina are.

Gina comes in.

GINA

Ricky and Gina, what?

JOSH

So, you’re afraid of her, but

not me and him?

JARED

I need you three and a few others

to stay late next weekend.

Gina thinks for a second, then...

GINA

Yeah sure. I got nothin’ better

to do next weekend anyway.

Jared looks at Josh.

JARED

See? Even she said she would do

it.

JOSH

Fine...I’ll do it.

JARED

Good now, let’s all pinky swear

on it.

All three of them IMMEDIATELY SCATTER from Jared before he can say,

JARED

I was just kidding.

DISSOLVE TO:

25. INT. WANDER HOUSE. EVENING.

Josh walks in THROUGH THE BACK DOOR, visibly worn and caked with the smells of soap and grease. Charlie is in the kitchen GRILLING CHICKEN.

CHARLIE

Hey.

(beat)

How was your day?

JOSH

My day was crap.

CHARLIE

Welcome to life, kid.

JOSH

If Jared asks me to do one more thing.

CHARLIE

What? He’s got you jumpin’

out of planes again?

He’s in no energy to argue with him tonight. He just wants to go to sleep.

JOSH

Nah, he wants me, Ricky, and

Gina to stay late next weekend.

CHARLIE

So?

JOSH

I have other things to do.

CHARLIE

You’ll always have to do something

that you don’t want to do.

JOSH

Yeah, don’t remind me.

CHARLIE

(remembering)

Oh, Maryanne wants to know if you

finished your story.

Josh groans.

JOSH

No. I didn’t even start it yet; and

it’s due tomorrow. Don’t worry, I’ll

finish it tonight.

CHARLIE

Alright.

Josh walks upstairs to his room.

26. INT. JOSH’S ROOM.

JOSH

Screw it. I’ll take the zero.

He collapses on the bed and we...

DISSOLVE TO:

27. INT. HIGH SCHOOL. CREATIVE WRITING CLASS. DAY.

In their creative writing class, Josh and Rachel sit in their seats waiting for the rest of the class to come in and sit down.

RACHEL

(taking out her finished story)

So what did you write your story about?

Josh frowns.

JOSH

I didn’t do it.

RACHEL

Why? You couldn’t get around to

it?

JOSH

No Rachel, I was too busy helping

the Na’avi defend their planet.

Rachel looks at him blank.

JOSH

It’s from “Ava—— never mind. I’ve

just had alot to do.

RACHEL

Ah, I see. Like what?

JOSH

Just work and stuff. Mainly work.

RACHEL

What’s going on at work?

JOSH

(agitation rising in his voice)

Boss.

RACHEL

What did he do this time?

JOSH

Drive me up the wall, nothing new.

RACHEL

What did he do?

JOSH

Jesus Christ, mind your business.

RACHEL

Don’t get angry with me.

JOSH

I’m not angry. I don’t get angry.

I get annoyed. Or constipated.

RACHEL

That’s gross!

JOSH

And?

RACHEL

And, I was just asking you a question.

JOSH

You’re right. You were just trying to

help. Sorry.

RACHEL

Really?

JOSH

No.

Mr. Grant walks over to Josh and Rachel’s desks and Rachel hand shim her story. He turns to Josh, his believe it or not star pupil. Excited to read what Josh has written.

JOSH

I don’t have it.

Mr. Grant’s face slightly fades.

MR. GRANT

You don’t have it?

JOSH

Nope.

MR. GRANT

That’s surprising, Josh.

MR. GRANT (CONT’D)

I thought you of all my students would

have had it. You do all the other work.

JOSH

Can I give it in next class?

MR. GRANT

Of course.

JOSH

(nodding)

Alright, I’ll give it in next class.

Mr. Grant walks to the other row of desks next to Josh and Rachel.

RACHEL

You still haven’t thought about what

you’re going to write about?

JOSH

This guy who kills this girl

because she keeps asking him

questions.

She rolls her eyes.

DISSOLVE TO:

28. INT. WANDER HOUSE. AFTER SCHOOL. AFTERNOON.

The doorbell rings. No one answers. It rings again.

CHARLIE (O.S.)

WILL SOMEONE GET THE DOOR!

Josh takes his time, walking in from the kitchen. He gets to the door and opens it to see Lynn.

JOSH

Do you need something?

LYNN

Yeah.

CHARLIE (O.S.)

Who is it, Josh? Do I need to

rinse off and come down there?

JOSH

No! That’s okay!

LYNN

I need the last fe—

Just then, Charlie begins to SING LOUDLY.

CHARLIE (O.S.)

Cinderelly, Cinderelly

Night and day it's Cinderelly

Make the fire, fix the breakfast...

Embarrassed, Josh closes the door. They’re OUTSIDE now.

LYNN

The last few homework assignments.

Ms. Pendleton said I have to make

that work up, even though I just

moved here.

JOSH

Oh. Yeah. Uhhh, what does she want

you to do? Assignments.

LYNN

(reading a SHORT LIST given

to her by the teacher)

Reading logs mostly.

JOSH

Those take forever to finish. If you

want you can copy mine.

LYNN

Yeah, sure.

He opens the door and to his relief, Charlie has stopped singing.

JOSH

There in my room. Stay here.

LYNN

Can’t I come up with you?

JOSH

Why?

LYNN

I’ve never seen the upstairs.

JOSH

Fine.

Lynn follows Josh upstairs into his room.

29. INT. JOSH’S ROOM.

LYNN

You have a nice room.

JOSH

No I don’t.

LYNN

I think it looks fine.

She spots something she hasn’t seen on Josh’s bed.

LYNN

Umm, is that a garbage bag wrapped

around your bed?

JOSH

Garbage bags.

LYNN

Umm why if you don’t mind me asking?

JOSH

We had a bed bug problem last summer

and we couldn’t afford an exterminator.

So we wrapped our beds. They’re gone now.

Lynn sits down on the bed. It makes a loud noise; the kind plastic grocery bags make.

LYNN

It’s kinda noisy.

JOSH

Well, I guess sex is out of the

question then, huh?

LYNN

Can I just have the assignments?

He hands them to her.

LYNN

Thanks.

JOSH

Sure.

She stops for a second. Then,

LYNN

So is what Sam said in class true?

JOSH

What?

LYNN

That you like to push people away?

JOSH

He never said that.

LYNN

Yes he did. He said you don’t like

to get close to too many people?

JOSH

I don’t mind people.

LYNN

Well, your attitude comes from

somewhere.

JOSH

North Carolina.

Lynn sees that she’s not going to get anywhere with him.

LYNN

Well, I can see that you’re not

ready to discuss this with me.

JOSH

I don’t remember wanting to.

(pauses and thinks

for a second)

I actually don’t even remember

befriending you.

LYNN

(shrugs)

Well, you let me in your house.

And in your room—oh, and on your

bed. So I guess that counts for

something, right?

JOSH

You’re a play toy?

LYNN

Just forget it.

JOSH

(joking)

Forget what?

LYNN

I’ll just go now.

Lynn heads for his door but STOPS when she gets there.

LYNN

(warmly)

See you in class?

Josh BELCHES and smiles. It’s not a happy smile, it’s a SLIGHT ONE.

LYNN

(turning to leave)

See ya.

As the door closes and Lynn is gone Josh looks around his room and then at the door.

JOSH

See ya...bitch.

Josh laughs to himself. He thinks for a second and picks up his cell phone.

(CONTINUED)

JOSH

Hey Sam...No Charlie and Maryanne

are not getting a divorce...yet.

...Relax I was just kidding.

Anyways, wanna hang out tomorrow?

You, me, and Rachel? ...Great. Uhhh,

movies? Salt just came out...no it’s

not a movie starring Morton Sea Salt!

(then)

Oh boy, Sam, where would I be without

you?

As we leave Josh to his plans...

END OF SHOW

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