Josh - SimplyScripts
Josh
by
Isaiah McCants
“The Loving Sound of Hate”
(pilot)
DATE STARTED: NOVEMBER
FINISHED: JULY 03, 2010
1. INT. COLD OPEN. CLASSROOM. AFTERNOON.
JOSH JACOB, 17, Lanky, Oliver Sykes-looking———minus the tattoos, and flat-colored hair desperately tries to wipe the loose running snot from his nose.
JOSH
Mrs. Pendleton, do you have any tissue?
LESLIE PENDLETON, 33, the English teacher for eleventh grade.
MRS. PENDLETON
Here, this is all I have.
She hands him that hard, brown type of paper towel.
JOSH
Gee, thanks.
As he takes the paper, MAIKEL CLAIBORNE, 16, rude, snotty, and talkative asks him...
MAIKEL
(grossed out)
Are you about to blow your nose with that?
JOSH
No. I’m gonna take this to the bathroom with
me ‘cause I don’t like the toilet paper in
there. It’s too soft.
He walks back to his seat as Maikel and her friend ARMESHA POWELL look disgusted at him.
JOSH
(to himself)
Idiots.
Josh sits back down at his seat. Next to him is his best friend,
SAM WEISS. He is 16, emo-skater-looking, goofy and loyal. He shows Josh his assignment.
SAM
Hey, how do you do this?
JOSH
Well, turn the paper right side up first.
(examining)
Let’s see, “Read ‘...Into That Good Night’
then ANSWER the questions.”
SAM
Sooo... What do we have to do now?
JOSH
It says to study for the test on Friday.
SAM
No way! What test?
JOSH
You know what test I’m talking about! The test
on why iced tea taste better sweet.
SAM
Oh, that test? Alright gotcha!
Josh shakes his head.
JOSH
(to himself)
And I actually felt bad that time.
He turns back to Sam.
JOSH
You have to read this story and answer the
questions they ask you at the end. There’s no
test on iced tea.
Sam looks upset. Josh looks back.
SAM
Really?
JOSH
Yeah.
SAM
I would’ve aced that thing!
Josh turns back around.
JOSH
(to himself)
Now I don’t feel bad anymore.
AS JOSH LOOKS AT SAM AND THEN FOCUSES BACK ON HIS ASSIGNMENT:
END OF COLD OPEN.
ACT ONE
2. INT. HALLWAY. AFTER ENGLISH.
Josh and Sam walk down the hallway.
JOSH
I’m gonna be late again.
SAM
Well who cares? I’m always late.
Josh looks away.
JOSH
I know.
They turn left.
SAM
Hey, I called you last night, you
sounded annoyed.
JOSH
My mom called.
SAM
What’d she say?
JOSH
(groaning)
I don’t know, I didn’t answer. But
a few days ago, Maryanne said she’s
coming to visit in December and staying
until April.
(then realizing)
Which means she’s staying for my birthday
and to make things worse, she’s bringing
the idiot fiancé. God isn’t that just cake?
They stop at Josh’s locker and he puts his book away and gets his other ones.
JOSH (cont’d)
So let me tell ya what happened last night:
She calls and makes me go downstairs to ask
Maryanne if she can send her money ‘cause Dane
got laid off recently which was kind of a good
thing ‘cause then I could watch the TV down
there. Then after that, she asks Maryanne to
go to Wal-Mart to get contact prescriptions that
she’s gonna let expire and not get it renewed
until two years later--renewed by asking Maryanne
to go and get it and send it to her while she‘s
wherever!
He puts his HISTORY textbook in his bag.
SAM
Why do you always carry your books?
JOSH
I don’t know. I think I need ‘em for my classes.
JOSH (cont’d)
So anyways, when they leave, she sticks
me with the baby. But the good news is
that Rachel comes over and she asks if
she can do anything to help. I told her,
“yeah, put the cat in the crib with the baby.”
SAM
(captivated)
Did she do it?
Josh just glares at Sam with disdain.
JOSH
(beat)
Yes, Intelligence. Yes she did.
As the boys continue walking and out of frame we...
DISSOLVE TO:
3. INT. CREATIVE WRITING CLASS.
Josh sits in front of his other best friend RACHEL CULLERS, Sam and Josh’s friend since childhood. 16, ALL ROSE AND HONEY, not sexy but not ugly. Just normal. Intelligent and gentle eyes.
The whole class is watching SHORT FILMS MADE BY FOREIGN DIRECTORS.
RACHEL
(rapt)
Oh my god, I wanna go to Paris.
JOSH
I wanna go home.
Rachel sucks her teeth in an “Oh you!” way.
JOSH
(to the TV)
Oh come on, they got the camera
shots all wrong.
RACHEL
I think they look fine.
JOSH
You don’t do an aerial shot while
someone’s talking. It ruins the
whole thing.
RACHEL
You can see the snow in the trees. It
looks nice.
JOSH
Okay, yeah, the shot is nice but he has
an unnecessary shot in there.
RACHEL
God, I’d hate to be your wife.
JOSH
I don’t have wives I have mistresses
and one night stands.
RACHEL
(beat, encouragingly)
Well good luck with that. I’m actually
gonna have a career in something.
(cont’d)
My mom always says “do what you love
and the cash will follow.”
JOSH
And you love rich men.
RACHEL
(unfazed)
Haha.
They both laugh. The lights come on as the films are finished. Their teacher, MR. GRANT, mid-thirties, weird in a cool way, and one of the few up-to-date teachers.
MR. GRANT
Okay, well, after watching that, tell
me some things you guys learned or
liked or noticed.
Josh raises his hand.
MR. GRANT
Yes, Josh!
JOSH
Wrong camera angles. You don’t cut
off a shot of someone talking to do
a quick shot of their car driving in
the forest.
RACHEL
I liked it Mr. Grant.
MR. GRANT
Well good. Because for your homework
you all have to write a short story
and turn it into a script. Due by next
week and no less than 10 pages.
The bell rings. School’s out. But before they leave,
MR. GRANT
(to the class)
Guys, repeat after me,
(the class repeats this saying)
“Always wear your seatbelt, never drive
impaired, never drive with someone who
is impaired, don’t speed, come back in
one peace.”
(to the class, not repeating)
Now get outta here.
RACHEL
What are you gonna write about?
JOSH
Bladder control.
DISSOLVE TO:
4. INT. WANDER HOUSE. AFTER SCHOOL.
It’s a not so well looking home. Normal-sized, two stories and it looks even filthier and messier inside. Cracked walls, bad furniture, no AC, name it.
Josh comes through the door.
JOSH
Maryanne?
MARYANNE (O.S.)
In here.
5. INT. KITCHEN.
Josh comes into the kitchen to see Maryanne under the sink.
MARYANNE
Hey. How was school?
MARYANNE WANDER. Forties, caring, Josh’s aunt/legal guardian. She’s no nonsense.
JOSH
Like every other day.
MARYANNE
Oh, okay. Homework?
JOSH
I have to write a story.
MARYANNE
Really?
JOSH
Yeah, really.
MARYANNE
Did the meat guy come yet?
JOSH
Do you see meat on the table?
He watches Maryanne wiggle around on the floor.
JOSH
What are you doing?
MARYANNE
(struggling)
I’m trying to put this soap bottle
back into the soap dispenser.
Josh sees she’s trying WAY TOO HARD and she‘s hating every second of being on the dirty floor.
JOSH
Oh, okay.
Josh walks out of the kitchen. Maryanne continues to struggle.
6. INT. JOSH’S ROOM.
Posters all over the room, METALLICA, SLAYER, BRING ME THE HORIZON, a few undiscovered bands, local bands, and even a KEYSHIA COLE and DESTINY’S CHILD poster over his bed. Drawings on the walls too. Movies too. It’s a creative but still dulled looking room.
Josh throws his bag onto his bed and turns on his laptop. While the laptop loads…
JOSH
(to himself)
Okay… What am I gonna write about?
He opens up Microsoft Word. He’s thinking. Just then, he clicks on something. Windows Media Player. He plays a song and begins to move with it.
TIME DISSOLVE TO:
7. INT. JOSH’S ROOM. MAYBE THIRTY MINUTES LATER.
Josh drums on the desk. He has only written three sentences so far.
JOSH
The name of the cat was…
TIME DISSOLVE TO:
8. INT. JOSH’S ROOM. AN HOUR LATER.
Still has those three sentences. He picks up his cell phone.
JOSH
(into phone)
Hi Mrs. Weiss, is Sam there?
DISSOLVE TO:
9. INT. JOSH’S HOUSE. KITCHEN. MORNING (DAY 2).
Maryanne and her husband, CHARLIE. He is older than she is and is a man of confidence.
Josh comes down stairs.
MARYANNE
Good morning.
JOSH
(irritated)
Morning.
(beat)
Four hours last night and I
can’t even think of one thing
to write for an assignment.
MARYANNE
Well what kind of story do you
have to write?
JOSH
I have to write a no less than
ten page short story and I have
to turn it into a script.
CHARLIE
Well that should be no problem.
JOSH
You write it then. It’s due tomorrow.
CHARLIE
I can’t I have to work.
(points to Maryanne)
Ask your aunt though. She’s not
goin’ anywhere.
Maryanne gives Charlie a dirty look. She’s knows what he meant.
MARYANNE
(to the both of them)
No. ‘Sides I have a job interview today.
CHARLIE
Really? With who?
MARYANNE
Food prep at the hospital.
CHARLIE
Oh. What are the hours?
MARYANNE
12-8. So you’ll have to learn how
to cook soon.
CHARLIE
I can cook.
MARYANNE
Take out isn’t cooking.
CHARLIE
Says who? Food gets made, it gets
put on the table.
MARYANNE
The kids you feed who get tired of it
eventually.
Out of nowhere,
JOSH
Well, I have a job at a diner so
I can eat there.
MARYANNE
(could care less)
Yeah, sure you can if you want.
CHARLIE
(to Josh)
Just bring me and your cousin back
something when you get off.
JOSH
You have to pick me up anyways. Just
eat when you get there.
Charlie takes a sip of his orange juice then a bite of his bagel. He looks at Josh for a moment.
CHARLIE
(casual)
Okay.
JOSH
Really?
CHARLIE
No! Of course not. Have it ready when
I get there.
JOSH
Of course.
(looks at his watch)
Well, I best be goin’ to school now.
He holds out his hand to both Charlie and Maryanne.
MARYANNE
What?
JOSH
I need $2.00. I lost my bus pass.
MARYANNE
(reluctant)
Fine. Even though you probably didn’t
loose it, here.
JOSH
Thanks. Later.
He’s out the door.
MARYANNE
Oh he’s somethin’ isn’t he honey?
CAHRLIE
Yep, he is. And so is our own.
MARYANNE
But I’d trade ‘em both in for central
air conditioning.
CHARLIE
You said it!
He holds out his hand in a “pound it” way. And they both pound it.
DISSOLVE TO:
10. INT. GEOMETRY CLASS. MORNING.
The class sits semi-quietly doing an assignment. When IENDEA GEREALD walks in the classroom. Black, joker, pudgy, likeable. His name is pronounced EYE-N-DAY.
IENDEA
It smells like diarrhea in that
bathroom.
The class laughs. Their teacher,
MRS. EAK, if someone could permanently feel the pain after putting their hand in a blender... That’s how she is. Says,
MRS. EAK
(means it)
Iendea, that was uncalled for.
Sit down.
Iendea fights a laugh.
IENDEA
Sorry.
He walks back to his seat. The laugh finally comes out.
MRS. EAK
(cont’d)
At least say or talk about something
school related.
A student named MARCUS answers this.
MARCUS
I like comin’ to school. I like comin’
To school with no draws on. Shoot, I
ain’t wearin’ draws right now.
The class laughs even harder at that. A few “eewwws” are heard too.
MRS. EAK
Marcus, no more.
MARCUS
I’m just sayin’, why would I buy
something to wear that ain’t nobody
gonna see?
JOSH
Yeah, I totally agree with Marcus.
Other than getting ball rashes and
sores, why would you pay for boxers
when nobody‘s gonna see them?
The class laughs at this as well. Mrs. Eak is starting to frown.
MRS. EAK
Hey! We’re taking a test. Everybody
be quiet!
The class--well we know what happens!
MRS. EAK
That’s it. Next one who talks gets a
referral. Sometimes this class can be
so crooked.
JOSH
(under his breath)
Like your face.
She’s done.
MRS. EAK
Okay, that’s it.
She walks to her desk to get the referrals. After she gets the referrals, she goes to Josh’s desk.
MRS. EAK
Sign your name here...Initials here.
(takes it off the desk)
Your aunt is not gonna be a happy camper
when she gets this.
JOSH
There goes my new stereo system.
MRS. EAK
Out.
Josh gets his things as does as she says.
DISSOLVE TO:
11. INT. OFFICE.
Josh sits slouched in a chair waiting for his principal. When, KELLY PRESTON comes to his side.
KELLY
Hi Josh. What are you doing in here?
KELLY is 16. Her body is curved and plump in all the right places, her eyes are a wonderful color of blue with an even bluer outline around them, her skin is perfectly toned and she’s got intelligence.
JOSH
I got in trouble.
KELLY
Oh.
JOSH
Why are you in here?
KELLY
(holds up her name tag)
Uh, I’m an office aid this period?
JOSH
Oh yeah.
KELLY
Well, I gotta go give these slips.
JOSH
Bye.
Just as Kelly leaves, MARYANNE enters.
JOSH
(delicately)
Hi, Maryanne.
MARYANNE
I’m gonna kick your butt. I have to
be at the hospital in—
(checks her cell phone)
ten minutes. What happened now?
JOSH
She provoked me.
Just then, the principal’s door opens. Out walks MR. HALL. Josh and Maryanne look in his direction.
MR. HALL
(holds out his hand)
Mrs. Wander, hello, nice to see
you...again.
Maryanne nods.
MR. HALL
(cont’d)
Come in.
Josh reluctantly gets up and follows.
12. INT. PRINCIPALS OFFICE.
All three sit down. Josh is not the least bit fazed. Neither is Maryanne or Mr. Hall.
MR. HALL
Josh’s Geometry teacher had written
him up for
(looks at the referral)
“CLASSROOM/CAMPUS DISRUPTIVE DEMONSTRATION”
Mr. Hall looks at Maryanne, who looks at Josh.
JOSH
(clearing up)
Everyone in the class hates Ms. Eak.
So everyone makes fun of her on purpose.
MARYANNE
So?
JOSH
(cont’d)
So if I don’t make fun of her too,
I’ll be the odd one out and I don’t
need that.
MARYANNE
(comforting)
Well, it’s too late for that, honey.
You’re already the odd one out.
Josh’s jaw drops.
MR. HALL
This isn’t the first case of any type
of disruption or profanity with him,
Mrs. Wander.
MARYANNE
What else happened?
Josh sinks in his chair.
MR. HALL
(checking on the computer)
Well, on the 4th of September, he was
Given ISS for language in his English
class.
MARYANNE
(to Josh, surprised)
What?
JOSH
She called Sam stupid.
MARYANNE
So you tell her that?
JOSH
I was sticking up for him.
MARYANNE
(derisive)
Oh, well that makes it much better.
And when did you have ISS?
MR. HALL
Well, we had called your house phone
and left messages. Hold on a second,
(reads paper)
Is this your cell phone number?
402-555-3891?
Maryanne gives out and aggravated groan. Josh sinks lower.
MARYANNE
(to Mr. Hall but LOOKS at Josh)
No. That’s his cell phone number.
Josh’s eyes wander around and he now turns his head fully away.
DISSOLVE TO:
13. INT. WANDER HOUSE. AFTERNOON. AFTER SCHOOL.
Josh is on the couch watching television when, BRANDON WANDER comes in. He’s 12, dresses the same way as Josh, but with brighter colors, and he’s Charlie and Maryanne’s only child.
BRANDON
Mom said you’re in big trouble.
JOSH
(unfazed)
Ooh, I quiver with fear.
Maryanne walks in.
MARYANNE
What are you doing down here?
You’re grounded, remember?
JOSH
No.
MARYANNE
Upstairs.
JOSH
How long?
MARYANNE
Two weeks.
JOSH
Why?
MARYANNE
You can make fun of me and your
uncle and your peers, but don’t
you ever make fun of a teacher in
front of them.
BRANDON
(to Josh)
Yeah.
MARYANNE
(to Brandon)
Shut up, honey.
MARYANNE (cont’d)
(to Josh)
I could’ve grounded you longer
After that stunt you pulled with
the phone number, and you called
some girl a name.
JOSH (CONT’D)
For the hundredth time, I was sticking
up for Sam. And the phone thing I just
didn’t want to get in more trouble at
home.
MARYANNE
Look, Sam can stick up for himself. He’s
not stu—
(debating pause)
Okay, I’ll give you that one. But the
phone! You’re grounded. For FOUR weeks now.
She walks to the kitchen.
JOSH
Why the extra two weeks?
MARYANNE
(still walking)
Because I can.
He keeps on watching TV.
BRANDON
Don’t you have any homework?
MARYANNE
(to Josh)
Yeah, go do it.
Josh gives Brandon a look.
BRANDON
(triumphant)
You heard her. Get upstairs.
Josh gets up and casually walks, then STRONGLY pushing Brandon down.
BRANDON
That didn’t even hurt.
JOSH
(still walking up the stairs)
Just wait till you go to sleep tonight.
DISSOLVE TO:
14. INT. WANDER HOUSE. CHARLIE AND MARYANNE’S BEDROOM. NIGHT.
Maryanne is already in bed. Charlie is already dressed to sleep, but he just walks in the room.
CHARLIE
Honey, why are there wet bags filled with clothes?
MARYANNE
The dryer broke. I have to take my clothes
down to the Laundromat. You can take yours tomorrow.
Charlie sucks his teeth. He’s visibly not happy about that.
CHARLIE
Then what am I supposed to wear to work
tomorrow?
MARYANNE
They’re open 24/7; just get there early
and dry them.
(gasps)
Or better, go now. And take mine while
your at it.
CHARLIE
I’m not getting up at what? 3 in the
morning to go dry my clothes. We can’t
afford much as it is. Do you know how
much it’s gonna cost to go dry our clothes
every Saturday until we get a new dryer?
MARYANNE
Well, I’m sorry the dryer broke and you
have to do your own laundry. I mean, this
is like what, the first time?
CHARLIE
What about the kids? Do you know how much
clothes they have?
MARYANNE
Josh works and Brandon gets a $10.00
allowance. (CONT’D)
MARYANNE (CONT’D)
Would you relax and stop being a
baby. Let me do my job and
you do yours.
She lies down. Charlie gets in. Both of them annoyed with one another.
MARYANNE
I was gonna squeeze you in tonight.
CHARLIE
I can’t do your job remember? That
one’s a household chore.
MARYANNE
Asshole.
Charlie looks over, and then turns back. The lights go out and we...
DISSOLVE TO:
15. INT. WANDER HOUSE. MORNING. (DAY 3)
Josh and Brandon come in the kitchen, dressed and ready for breakfast.
MARYANNE
(to Brandon)
Did you brush your teeth?
BRANDON
No. That’s what gum’s for.
MARYANNE
Oh my god. Gimme some.
He does so and goes to the stove for bacon and pancakes.
JOSH
Gross.
MARYANNE
What? I just asked for some. I
actually brushed my teeth unlike
you two.
(remembering something)
Josh, how come whenever your mother
calls you don’t answer the phone?
Josh sees where this is going.
JOSH
When does she call?
MARYANNE
She said she called last night three
times.
JOSH
What time?
MARYANNE
Maybe six or nine?
JOSH
Oh, I was probably asleep.
MARYANNE
(unsure)
Uh-huh
BRANDON
(to Maryanne)
Gimme the syrup!
Maryanne boorishly passes it to him.
MARYANNE
Here.
BRANDON
Thanks.
JOSH
(to Maryanne)
What did she wanna know?
MARYANNE
You would know if you answered the
phone.
JOSH
(carefully)
I was asleep probably. So, just
tell me.
MARYANNE
She said she and Dane found a place to
stay; the baby’s doing good and she found
a job.
JOSH
What, Dane’s gonna stay home now?
MARYANNE
He has a job.
JOSH
Oh, I thought he was gonna stay home.
MARYANNE
Why would you think that? He always takes
good care of your mother.
JOSH
I was just asking.
MARYANNE
(still uncertain)
Alright. Just thought you were mad at her
or somethin’.
Josh quickly jumps to conclusions with her about...
JOSH
(playing it cool and calm)
Why would I be mad? ‘Cause she’s in
Washington and I’m here? Or what happened
the day she went back to Washington?
Maryanne’s catching on to this and Josh grasps himself.
MARYANNE
No, I was just wondering. That’s
all.
THROUGH THE BACK DOOR OF THE HOUSE – SAM WALKS IN.
MARYANNE
Hi, Sam.
SAM
‘Sup Mrs. Wander. How’s life?
MARYANNE
It’d be better if I wasn’t married.
SAM
What happened between you and Mr. Wander?
Josh and Maryanne exchange worn looks.
JOSH
See?
MARYANNE
Eat your food.
Sam goes over to the counter. He examines the food.
SAM
Jeez, bacon, eggs, and pancakes
again? Nothing’s ever new at
this house.
CHARLIE WALKS IN with a newspaper in his arm and coffee already on the table for him.
CHARLIE
(under his breath)
Wouldn’t have that problem if you
were eatin’ breakfast at your own
house.
Sam turns around as he heard that.
SAM
Mornin’ Mr. Wander.
CHARLIE
Mornin’ Sam.
Sam looks at his watch.
SAM
Oh, I’m gonna be late. Bye Josh.
Bye everybody.
They all say bye. Then, Josh remembers something.
JOSH
(calling)
Sam!!!
Sam comes back in. He eyes something.
SAM
Oh, thanks, I almost forgot.
He takes a plate of breakfast out the door with him.
CHARLIE
(to Sam)
Have fun today and bring the plate
back.
SAM
(calling)
Will do.
Josh gets up from the table.
JOSH
You know were not gettin’ that plate
back.
CHARLIE
(immediately)
It was worth a shot.
MARYANNE
So I see you went to the Laundromat
after all.
CHARLIE
No, these are yesterday’s clothes.
See the stain?
MARYANNE
Oh yeah.
She pats the stain on his shirt. Then,
DING-DONG
The doorbell rings.
JOSH
I’ll get it. It might be a psychopath.
16. INT. LIVING ROOM.
Josh walks to the door and opens it to reveal LYNN PENNINGTON, 15, kind, attractive, preppy and long blackish-brown hair.
LYNN
Hi, I’m Lynn Pennington. My family
just moved in across the street.
Josh is taken back. He thinks for a minute. Finally,
JOSH
(slowly)
And you are telling me why?
Lynn is taken back.
LYNN
Just being neighborly. We moved
Here from Tampa.
JOSH
(giving up)
Ah, well, come in.
Inside Lynn examines the house. Maryanne comes in.
JOSH
This is Maryanne, the tenant.
Maryanne looks at Josh.
MARYANNE
(to Josh)
Yeah, and you’re six years
behind rent.
Lynn and Maryanne shake hands.
MARYANNE
Hi, I’m Maryanne, his aunt.
LYNN
Hi, I’m Lynn. This is a nice
place you have here.
MARYANNE
I take it you don’t get out much.
Lynn sighs in an “oh you’re jokes!” type of way. She doesn’t know this family well at all.
LYNN
No really. I like the kitchen.
JOSH
You like sticky floors and
rotting cabinets?
Lynn examines the kitchen closely.
LYNN
Yeah, it looks fine to me.
Maryanne walks up to Lynn a little closer.
MARYANNE
Well, Lynn, I’ve known you for
two minutes and already, I like
you a lot more than I like my own
son...and I see you’ve already met
Dennis Miller.
Josh rolls his eyes. Lynn smiles at him. He looks away.
MARYANNE
Come on, Lynn. I’ll give you a grand tour
of the house. That way if you ever need
to come somewhere while you’re folks are out of
town, you’re always welcome here.
They EXIT OUT OF FRAME into the kitchen. Josh still stands there.
STILL ON JOSH AS HE HEARS:
MARYANNE
(cont’d and o.s.)
Now since you like the kitchen
so much, you’ll really love the
basement. Now don’t mind the really
old steep steps. We like ‘em that
way. The boiler broke so it’s really
cold down here.
Josh chuckles.
DISSOLVE TO:
17. INT. ELKHORN DINER. AFTERNOON.
Josh’s job. It’s a very nice-looking diner. Delicious-smelling food with people who live off of coffee and bad cigarettes.
18. INT. KITCHEN.
RICKY, 18, lofty and crafty droopily walks to the coffee maker.
RICKY
(to anyone)
Anyone know if we’ve got any
regular coffee? The lady at
my table prefers it.
Josh gives him the Decaf.
RICKY
That’s Decaf.
Josh puts the Decaf back on the holder. Then, he switches the EMPTY Regular pot onto the DECAF holder.
JOSH
Here.
Ricky looks at the pot and scoffs.
RICKY
Ah who cares? It’s coffee. So,
is there anyone new in your life,
Josh?
JOSH
No, Lisa. No woman will ever meet
my needs.
(upbeat)
Anyone new in yours?
RICKY
Yep. Two months; I gave her a
promise ring.
JOSH
Why? You feel that insecure about
her being around other guys you’re
gonna try and trap her with a promise
ring?
RICKY
She just makes me feel... a way that
I haven’t felt in a while.
JOSH
No one makes you feel like that in
eight weeks.
RICKY
Yeah, but that’s you. You have very
complex standards, because you’re a
complex individual.
JOSH
I’m not a complex individual. It’s
“You do what I say and nothing will
go wrong.”
Ricky shakes his head.
JOSH
Don’t worry if I never find the one.
I practice homosexuality just in case.
RICKY
Just lower your guard.
JOSH
Ricky, this is me in good shape. If
you haven’t noticed. And if you have,
well, then this whole conversation is
a waste of time.
Josh Pats him on the shoulder.
JOSH
Now excuse us both. I’ve got a table
to wait and you’ve got to give this
lady her coffee.
JOSH CROSSES OFF.
RICKY
(joking)
What a douche.
19. INT. BOOTH.
A usual-looking couple sits in the booth as Josh comes up to them.
JOSH
Hi, welcome to Elkhorn Diner. I’m
Josh I’ll be your server yeah, yeah,
yeah. May I suggest you try our new
Onion Bacon Burger? It’s our new burger
with meat, mushrooms, jarlsberg, onion,
lettuce, tomato, and your choice of
bacon—Canadian, Virginian, or Hickory.
But really, without the bacon, it’s
just a regular cheeseburger.
LADY
You look a little young for a waiter.
JOSH
Massive drugs.
LADY
I’m sorry. It was none of my business.
JOSH
(incensed)
You’re damn right.
(normally)
So, can I start you guys off with a few
drinks?
DISSOLVE TO:
20. EXT. WANDER HOUSE. NIGHT.
Josh walks up to the front door; he is visibly worn out
JOSH
How can I deal with those people
every day? Isn’t Sam bad enough,
God? Well, at least I stole the
tiramisu from the sweets counter.
(holds the tiramisu up)
Just you and me tonight, precious.
He puts the key in the door.
21. INT. WANDER HOUSE. LIVING ROOM.
Josh sees Brandon asleep on the couch with the TV still on. The program he was watching is long over. News at 9 is on now. Josh takes off his coat and throws it on Brandon who doesn’t move.
22. INT. WANDER HOUSE. KITCHEN.
Maryanne is reading the paper. Josh sits down.
JOSH
It’s a little backwards don’t you think?
MARYANNE
There’s nothing else to do in the house.
JOSH
You can go to sleep.
He goes to get a CLEAN fork out of the BIN from the sink. While his back is turned, Maryanne opens the box with Josh’s tiramisu. She takes the box to the sink, gets a fork and eats it. Josh just looks at the box.
JOSH
You can go somewhere else now, Maryanne.
Maryanne’s too busy eating the tiramisu.
MARYANNE
(mouth full)
Hmm?
Josh sighs.
JOSH
Nothing. I’ll just go to bed now like I
do every night after I get home from a
long day at work.
MARYANNE
Okay, goodnight.
JOSH
(mocking tone)
Bite me.
END OF ACT ONE
ACT TWO
23. INT. HIGH SCHOOL. ENGLISH CLASS. AFTERNOON.
In English class, Mrs. Pendleton hands the class the assignments they had begin to work on last class. The classroom door opens to see MR. HALL standing with a new student beside him. Lynn.
MR. HALL
Miss Pendleton, here’s you’re new
student, the one I was telling you
about last week.
Mrs. Pendleton looks at Lynn like it’s an examination. And she’s passed.
MRS. PENDLETON
(not caring)
Welcome. Take a seat somewhere.
Lynn spots Josh.
LYNN
(sitting down next to him)
Hi, Josh!
Josh looks at her.
JOSH
Bye, Lynn.
LYNN
What were the last few assignments
from last class?
JOSH
I don’t know.
SAM
Yes you do! Remember? It was about
that iced-tea test.
JOSH
Bad dog.
Lynn holds her hand out to Sam.
LYNN
Hi, I’m Lynn. I just moved in next
door to Josh.
SAM
Sam. But you can call me Sam.
Lynn is confused.
JOSH
(off her look)
Don’t worry, you get used to it.
LYNN
Well, Sam, it’s nice to meet you.
SAM
You too. I’m surprised Josh didn’t
tell me he got new neighbors.
JOSH
Why would I tell you that? It’s
nothing exciting.
SAM
(to Lynn)
Forgive Josh’s militarisms.
Both Lynn and Josh look at Sam.
SAM (CONT’D)
He doesn’t like that many people.
I would know, ‘cause I’m the only
friend he has—well, me and Rachel.
He doesn’t like to get very close
to people.
LYNN
(flirtatious)
Who’s Rachel?
JOSH
My pet zebra.
SAM
She’s our oldest friend. Her dad owns
one of the delis in town.
LYNN
Oh, I don’t eat meat.
The whole class turns around and looks at Lynn. “Are you insane?!”
JOSH
(to the class)
Its okay, she’s new in town.
The class turns back around.
JOSH
Look at you, the first day and
you’re already making a bad
impression.
Lynn’s not buying the tough, sarcasm act. She smiles at him. Josh’s face doesn’t change.
LYNN
You know you come off all mean
and sarcastic, but I can tell you
have a good heart. I can also tell
that we’re gonna be really good
friends soon.
Josh goes back to his assignment.
JOSH
Pleasure.
LYNN
So anyways, what are we doing?
JOSH
An assignment.
LYNN
Was that supposed to be sarcasm?
JOSH
No, that was me telling you what
we were doing.
AS ALL THREE OF THEM CONTINUE THEIR WORK:
DISSOLVE TO:
24. INT. ELKHORN DINER. KITCHEN. AFTER SCHOOL.
In the kitchen/ pickup counter Josh is seen washing the dishes. Ricky is seen finishing cooking the order he was given. He is wearing a goofy design on his apron and his hat has cat’s ears on each side.
Up to the pickup comes GINA GOLDEN, 19, pretty, from Georgia, and has a thick accent to prove it.
GINA
Ricky, what’s that on your head?
RICKY
(with pride)
It’s my InuYasha hat. It makes me
look awesome.
GINA
It makes you look stupid.
JOSH
(to Ricky)
Told ya.
RICKY
(to both of them)
Don’t hate on the hat.
GINA
I’m not hatin’, I just said it
makes you look stupid.
JOSH and GINA
And creepy.
RICKY
Whatever, this is a certified
hat that will help me get women.
GINA
To not talk to you? ‘Cause it’s
not makin’ me anymore attracted
to you.
JOSH
You’re a woman?
Gina frowns and CROSSES OFF, taking the plates to her table.
GINA
Whatever!
As Josh and Ricky go back to their work, their boss, JARED comes in.
JARED
Josh, I’m gonna need you three
to stay late next Friday and
Saturday.
RICKY
Sure.
JOSH
(to Jared)
What?
JARED
I need you to stay late. Rose
and the others already pulled
out and I won’t be in town next
week.
JOSH
I can’t. I have to stay home and
do nothing.
JARED
C’mon, can’t you just be on board?
Ricky and Gina are.
Gina comes in.
GINA
Ricky and Gina, what?
JOSH
So, you’re afraid of her, but
not me and him?
JARED
I need you three and a few others
to stay late next weekend.
Gina thinks for a second, then...
GINA
Yeah sure. I got nothin’ better
to do next weekend anyway.
Jared looks at Josh.
JARED
See? Even she said she would do
it.
JOSH
Fine...I’ll do it.
JARED
Good now, let’s all pinky swear
on it.
All three of them IMMEDIATELY SCATTER from Jared before he can say,
JARED
I was just kidding.
DISSOLVE TO:
25. INT. WANDER HOUSE. EVENING.
Josh walks in THROUGH THE BACK DOOR, visibly worn and caked with the smells of soap and grease. Charlie is in the kitchen GRILLING CHICKEN.
CHARLIE
Hey.
(beat)
How was your day?
JOSH
My day was crap.
CHARLIE
Welcome to life, kid.
JOSH
If Jared asks me to do one more thing.
CHARLIE
What? He’s got you jumpin’
out of planes again?
He’s in no energy to argue with him tonight. He just wants to go to sleep.
JOSH
Nah, he wants me, Ricky, and
Gina to stay late next weekend.
CHARLIE
So?
JOSH
I have other things to do.
CHARLIE
You’ll always have to do something
that you don’t want to do.
JOSH
Yeah, don’t remind me.
CHARLIE
(remembering)
Oh, Maryanne wants to know if you
finished your story.
Josh groans.
JOSH
No. I didn’t even start it yet; and
it’s due tomorrow. Don’t worry, I’ll
finish it tonight.
CHARLIE
Alright.
Josh walks upstairs to his room.
26. INT. JOSH’S ROOM.
JOSH
Screw it. I’ll take the zero.
He collapses on the bed and we...
DISSOLVE TO:
27. INT. HIGH SCHOOL. CREATIVE WRITING CLASS. DAY.
In their creative writing class, Josh and Rachel sit in their seats waiting for the rest of the class to come in and sit down.
RACHEL
(taking out her finished story)
So what did you write your story about?
Josh frowns.
JOSH
I didn’t do it.
RACHEL
Why? You couldn’t get around to
it?
JOSH
No Rachel, I was too busy helping
the Na’avi defend their planet.
Rachel looks at him blank.
JOSH
It’s from “Ava—— never mind. I’ve
just had alot to do.
RACHEL
Ah, I see. Like what?
JOSH
Just work and stuff. Mainly work.
RACHEL
What’s going on at work?
JOSH
(agitation rising in his voice)
Boss.
RACHEL
What did he do this time?
JOSH
Drive me up the wall, nothing new.
RACHEL
What did he do?
JOSH
Jesus Christ, mind your business.
RACHEL
Don’t get angry with me.
JOSH
I’m not angry. I don’t get angry.
I get annoyed. Or constipated.
RACHEL
That’s gross!
JOSH
And?
RACHEL
And, I was just asking you a question.
JOSH
You’re right. You were just trying to
help. Sorry.
RACHEL
Really?
JOSH
No.
Mr. Grant walks over to Josh and Rachel’s desks and Rachel hand shim her story. He turns to Josh, his believe it or not star pupil. Excited to read what Josh has written.
JOSH
I don’t have it.
Mr. Grant’s face slightly fades.
MR. GRANT
You don’t have it?
JOSH
Nope.
MR. GRANT
That’s surprising, Josh.
MR. GRANT (CONT’D)
I thought you of all my students would
have had it. You do all the other work.
JOSH
Can I give it in next class?
MR. GRANT
Of course.
JOSH
(nodding)
Alright, I’ll give it in next class.
Mr. Grant walks to the other row of desks next to Josh and Rachel.
RACHEL
You still haven’t thought about what
you’re going to write about?
JOSH
This guy who kills this girl
because she keeps asking him
questions.
She rolls her eyes.
DISSOLVE TO:
28. INT. WANDER HOUSE. AFTER SCHOOL. AFTERNOON.
The doorbell rings. No one answers. It rings again.
CHARLIE (O.S.)
WILL SOMEONE GET THE DOOR!
Josh takes his time, walking in from the kitchen. He gets to the door and opens it to see Lynn.
JOSH
Do you need something?
LYNN
Yeah.
CHARLIE (O.S.)
Who is it, Josh? Do I need to
rinse off and come down there?
JOSH
No! That’s okay!
LYNN
I need the last fe—
Just then, Charlie begins to SING LOUDLY.
CHARLIE (O.S.)
Cinderelly, Cinderelly
Night and day it's Cinderelly
Make the fire, fix the breakfast...
Embarrassed, Josh closes the door. They’re OUTSIDE now.
LYNN
The last few homework assignments.
Ms. Pendleton said I have to make
that work up, even though I just
moved here.
JOSH
Oh. Yeah. Uhhh, what does she want
you to do? Assignments.
LYNN
(reading a SHORT LIST given
to her by the teacher)
Reading logs mostly.
JOSH
Those take forever to finish. If you
want you can copy mine.
LYNN
Yeah, sure.
He opens the door and to his relief, Charlie has stopped singing.
JOSH
There in my room. Stay here.
LYNN
Can’t I come up with you?
JOSH
Why?
LYNN
I’ve never seen the upstairs.
JOSH
Fine.
Lynn follows Josh upstairs into his room.
29. INT. JOSH’S ROOM.
LYNN
You have a nice room.
JOSH
No I don’t.
LYNN
I think it looks fine.
She spots something she hasn’t seen on Josh’s bed.
LYNN
Umm, is that a garbage bag wrapped
around your bed?
JOSH
Garbage bags.
LYNN
Umm why if you don’t mind me asking?
JOSH
We had a bed bug problem last summer
and we couldn’t afford an exterminator.
So we wrapped our beds. They’re gone now.
Lynn sits down on the bed. It makes a loud noise; the kind plastic grocery bags make.
LYNN
It’s kinda noisy.
JOSH
Well, I guess sex is out of the
question then, huh?
LYNN
Can I just have the assignments?
He hands them to her.
LYNN
Thanks.
JOSH
Sure.
She stops for a second. Then,
LYNN
So is what Sam said in class true?
JOSH
What?
LYNN
That you like to push people away?
JOSH
He never said that.
LYNN
Yes he did. He said you don’t like
to get close to too many people?
JOSH
I don’t mind people.
LYNN
Well, your attitude comes from
somewhere.
JOSH
North Carolina.
Lynn sees that she’s not going to get anywhere with him.
LYNN
Well, I can see that you’re not
ready to discuss this with me.
JOSH
I don’t remember wanting to.
(pauses and thinks
for a second)
I actually don’t even remember
befriending you.
LYNN
(shrugs)
Well, you let me in your house.
And in your room—oh, and on your
bed. So I guess that counts for
something, right?
JOSH
You’re a play toy?
LYNN
Just forget it.
JOSH
(joking)
Forget what?
LYNN
I’ll just go now.
Lynn heads for his door but STOPS when she gets there.
LYNN
(warmly)
See you in class?
Josh BELCHES and smiles. It’s not a happy smile, it’s a SLIGHT ONE.
LYNN
(turning to leave)
See ya.
As the door closes and Lynn is gone Josh looks around his room and then at the door.
JOSH
See ya...bitch.
Josh laughs to himself. He thinks for a second and picks up his cell phone.
(CONTINUED)
JOSH
Hey Sam...No Charlie and Maryanne
are not getting a divorce...yet.
...Relax I was just kidding.
Anyways, wanna hang out tomorrow?
You, me, and Rachel? ...Great. Uhhh,
movies? Salt just came out...no it’s
not a movie starring Morton Sea Salt!
(then)
Oh boy, Sam, where would I be without
you?
As we leave Josh to his plans...
END OF SHOW
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