The concerned Chinese parents and children paved the way ...



GROWING UP CHINESE IN THE MISSISSIPPI DELTA

The concerned Chinese parents and children of the 1920s through the 1940s paved the way for ensuing Chinese children’s assimilation into the Mississippi Delta Society. Those older children went to a Chinese school until allowed to attend the “white” public schools at the behest of concerned religious, civic, and educational leaders. From my vantage point, the Chinese were then assimilated as much as they wanted; however, there was still wariness between the races.

My assimilation into the Caucasian society was shaped by the attitudes and relationships developed due to the location of my parent’s grocery store. Unlike most Chinese grocery stores situated in black neighborhoods, our store was in a unique location. On our side of the block neighbors were Syrian, Lebanese, and Caucasians (including a Jewish family). On the side of the store and across the street were Caucasian homes, but directly behind them were rows of black homes. Directly across the street were a couple of homes for whites, but next to them were two rows of shotgun houses occupied by black families. The entire neighborhood can be classified as fairly poor and blue collar. Our customers consisted of neighbors of many races.

But what made our location most unique was that also across the street was a large trailer park. Greenville at that time (1940s) had an air force base that brought in servicemen and their families from around the country. Additionally, the Port of Greenville was nearby, and some of the Mississippi River towboats docked there. The result was that in addition to our neighbors in homes, we encountered customers from the air force base and towboat crewmen. Of course we children talked to those transients and learned about the world outside of the Mississippi delta.

Another happenstance was that the couple who supervised the trailer park was an inter-racial couple—he was a Caucasian married to a Choctaw Indian woman. All those influences combined to develop my tolerance and open-mindedness. In essence, we had a “multi-ethnic” neighborhood long before social scientists and demographers used the term.

My childhood memories in the segregated south are of freely playing with both whites and blacks. We primarily had white playmates and friends, but

there were few qualms about having others join us. One particular activity by our multiethnic neighborhood garnered some attention in Greenville.

As young boys we would play pickup games of both baseball and football. At times we played on fields bordering the levee that was next to Lake Ferguson—once a part of the Mississippi River. We were careful on those fields, because at that time blacks could graze cows in those areas of the city; so we did our best to avoid stepping in the cow patties. It frequently happened that our pickup team of neighborhood whites and Chinese boys would play games against a pickup team of black neighbors. We had many exciting games of baseball and football on Sundays, and soon local citizens would park their cars on top of the levee to watch our friendly games. We had no fighting and had only the normal sports banter between the races.

When I came of school age, I attended the neighborhood “white” elementary school about two blocks from our store. Ironically, that school was just across the street from the Chinese School my older siblings had just attended. There was minimal derisive talk directed toward me; in fact I was just another elementary student to about 99% of the kids. I must give credit to the teachers and the open-mindedness of children for this transitional period. I went on to success there and even was elected student council president.

A special note must be made about the school teachers. They encouraged all and had a well-rounded curriculum that included both art and music. My fourth grade teacher noticed I had a love for space and the stars. She made a point of ordering grade level books about astronomy for our class library. My art teacher took notice of my talent and gave me extra help—she later went on to teach art at Delta State University for many years.

Yet even as the Chinese were being assimilated into the schools, prejudices and segregation were still the norm. While still in elementary school, I suddenly became ill in the classroom. My folks rushed me to our doctor who diagnosed that my appendix was about to burst. I was rushed to the black hospital, where my Caucasian doctor successfully performed surgery. I stayed in the hospital for three weeks; my bed was located in a screened porch of the wood frame hospital. But because I was young, this prejudicial action made little impression on me.

The greatest factor in my being accepted in the ‘white” society was my talent in music. I think the greatest move in acceptance occurred when in junior high school. Here we were out of our neighborhood school and socialized with kids from all over the town. Thus did my associations begin with youth from the “better and best parts” of town.

The success I had in band led to many band trips and being selected to attend honor bands in different parts of the state—this eliminated the provincialism of staying in a restricted geographical area. Because my father cooked for the family and we rarely ate out, on trips I had to learn things like ordering from a menu and what eating utensils to use at the proper time. My new friends would frequently ask me what Chinese food to order; all I could do was shrug my shoulders. Dad’s food was always great, but we didn’t learn what a lot of the dishes were called (and I never ate an egg roll until eating one in a restaurant).

In high school I had an expanded circle of both Chinese and Caucasian kids. A couple of us Chinese kids were on a bowling ream with a few Caucasian friends and socializing became easier between the races. Some of the Caucasian kids would even drop by our store to socialize or study. I’m sure this both surprised and pleased our parents.

My continuing success led to being in the select Lion’s All State Band three consecutive years. The band was all Caucasian except for me. In Greenville I was asked by a prominent merchant and musician to be a part of his efforts at starting the Greenville Symphony. Through those years I came into contact with musicians from throughout the region and began to learn orchestral literature. I remember feeling honored and a bit intimidated when we sometimes went to the merchant’s home in the “exclusive” area of town. Yet he and all the others made me feel welcome in their social environment.

Along with four of my Caucasian friends, we formed a rock band after seeing a traveling show that came to perform at our high school. Little did we know that those visiting groups would go on to fame. Their music was “strange” to us, but we quickly loved it. That show consisted of Roy Orbison, Carl Perkins, Jerry Lee Lewis (yes-he did knock over the piano bench when he played!), and Johnny Cash and their respective bands.

You’ve heard of “garage” bands? Well, we were a “wash house” band because we practiced in the trailer park room that housed washers and dryers for the tenants. Nevertheless, we became successful and played for dances in Mississippi, Arkansas, and Louisiana.

My being in the rock band also led to an important event for me and “white” society in Greenville. An unknown friend sent an invitation for me to attend a battle of the bands at the Greenville Country Club. Even though I was socially shy, I got up nerve to go. What a priceless look of surprise on the face of the woman checking invitations when I arrived! She overcame her surprise and mumbled to see my invitation. I produced it and there was nothing she could do but let me enter. I suppose this means I might have been the first Chinese to enter the country club for social reasons.

Despite the Chinese advances in social circles, I don’t recall inter-racial dating. We observed and had good social contacts but no thoughts of dating across racial lines because of what furor might result.

This period was in the late 1950’s, so segregation and prejudice were still there, and there were still barriers to overcome. The following incident brought that reality to me quite forcefully. I have two younger brothers, and as brothers use to do, we played sandlot football. While we were playing, Chuck, my youngest brother, got hit in the face and his glasses were broken. Pieces of glass went in one eye. We rushed him to the nearest hospital emergency room. Because he wasn’t Caucasian, they refused him emergency services and we had to seek help elsewhere. I believe that this was the first time I was made strongly aware of segregation and prejudice.

After high school I went to Mississippi Southern College (now the University of Southern Mississippi). My roomies were two Caucasians and a Chinese guy from New York City. I was the only minority studying music and everyone treated me as just one of the guys. I also had many Caucusain lady friends and eventually began dating some of them. Race differences never reared its head except once. The girl I was seriously dating broke-up with me because her father promised to give her a car (by the way, the father was in North Carolina and not Mississippi).

After receiving a degree, I was strongly encouraged to go to graduate school by my band director at USM. He encouraged me to attend Northwestern University (Evanston, IL) because it was near Chicago and he wanted me to broaden my life and education. ( I now believe he always planned for me to come back to teach at USM ). I had positive experiences at

Northwestern and became friends with people from around the nation.

The one incidence of prejudice I encountered was before school started. My father and I traveled to Evanston to look for a place for me to live. We answered an ad for rooms, but when the landlady saw that we were not Caucasian, she told us the room was taken. But the next ad we answered proved to be with a lady who had no prejudices.

To illustrate how well I was accepted by my classmates, I must relate the following. Of course after toiling in classes and practicing many hours, friends like to just hang-out. It happened that some of the good friends were Jewish. I would visit their homes and eat ethnic foods. They soon affectionately gave me a new last name—“Hongstein”. In another case, I noticed a very attractive young lady from California who came around when I was talking to my friends. She finally told me why. She had never heard an oriental speak with a southern accent.

In 1965 I returned to USM as a teaching assistant and the next year became an instructor so I could teach and work on my doctorate. While a young instructor, I met Mildred Sterling, a highly talented undergraduate singer who would soon win the 1966 Metropolitan Opera Regional Auditions. How we got together is another story, but we began dating and soon fell in love. At the time, because I was an instructor and she was a student, we felt a little uneasy about how my chairman and faculty would feel about our marriage. Mildred, being an outspoken young lady, took the bull by the horns and went to my boss, the Dean of the School of Music, and asked: ‘Can I marry Sherman?” His reply was priceless: “Don’t you think you should ask him?” From that point on we knew it was okay. In fact the Dean and other faculty members attended our wedding.

As a young couple of different races, we knew that our respective fathers would be difficult. Of course at this time there were few, if any, thoughts of lawfully sanctioned inter-racial marriages in the state. My father wanted me to marry a Chinese girl and her father wanted a Caucasian son-in-law.

My father characterized white girls as lazy and money hungry, so he really tried to discourage me.

I nervously brought Millie to meet the parents; my mother was accepting but my father was cool until after our introductions. Millie immediately started working in our store and that quickly changed his attitude. Then he said to me “not so bad.” I suppose the same happened with Millie’s folks—the mother and her siblings were friendly, but her dad was cool. One of Millie’s sisters recently told me her dad didn’t like me at first, but confided to her later that I was his favorite son-in-law. This year we celebrated our 40th anniversary.

Our marriage has produced two great children, David and Frances. As far as we can tell, neither was subjected to prejudice and both had friends of differing ethnic groups in Hattiesburg. David is one of two doctors in a successful Internal Medicine practice in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. Frances teaches elementary school in Knoxville, Tennessee and her husband is a Caucasian banker.

Our marriage seemed to have broken down the taboo regarding Chinese marrying outside the race in the delta. Now it is a common occurrence. My youngest brother married a Caucasian in Lake Charles, Louisiana and my sister’s daughter married a Caucasian a few years ago in Albuquerque, New Mexico. There seems to be a lot of such marriages among the Delta Chinese now.

With Mildred’s singing and acting talents, she became well-known to the “right” people in Hattiesburg Society. Because of her, I can also say I know and socialize with many of them and no one seems to think of race—to them I’m just Sherman. In fact, some of our friends told me they never knew I was Chinese. After giving a talk about growing up Chinese in the Delta, one friend stated she never saw me as being of another race.

That last thought seems to summarize what I personally have experienced in Hattiesburg and South Mississippi. There is a more cosmopolitan thought and atmosphere in our university town; hence, there seems to be little prejudice shown. I once had a black teaching colleague friend tell me that he felt much safer and comfortable in Mississippi then in Boston.

You’ve heard the saying “what goes around comes around”? It’s true. The community in which we have our home is multi-ethnic like the one in which I grew-up. My neighbor is black, two doors down is a family from India, there are people from around the nation, and there are several Vietnamese families. Yes, Mississippi has come a long way.

I feel that I have had a wonderful life rich with cultural experiences. Growing up Chinese in the Mississippi Delta in the evolving 1940s and 1950s afforded me a wide variety of life influencing experiences, for I was an active participant in Chinese, Caucasian, and even black societies. Although I now life in an environment and society with primarily Caucasians, my life experiences have given me a great appreciation for the differences and sameness in all society. I can truthfully say that growing up Chinese in the Mississippi Delta was, to paraphrase Charles Dickens, the worst of times, but mostly the best of times.

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