Ing and exciting than the boring or challenging middle chapters you

CHAPTER 1

Origin Stories

In my beginning is my end.

T. S. ELIOT

Where you begin matters. Your first breath, your first steps, your hometown, your first job--before you even realize it, every single "first" begins to determine who you will become. You get more than just a warm fuzzy when you consider where you started. You gain strength from your beginnings.

Great power abounds where your relationship began. Years of conflict and the plain ol' wear and tear of day-to-day life can erode that terrific force. Whispers from the enemy of your souls try to

your beginnings over what's happening right now. Each page is essential. Each page overflows with beauty. Each page is part of your story.

Why Your Marriage Needs Dan Henry: Brian

While where you begin is awesome and important, at some point you have to talk about where you're going.

Do you know Dan Henry? I don't either, but I know his work. You've probably seen it too and just didn't realize it was his. Dan Henry invented directional markers for organized bicycle events.

Dan Henry's Directional Markers They look a little bit like this but are spray-painted on the road:

51221_YourMoney_YourMarriage_int.indd 23

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YOUR MONEY, YOUR MARRIAGE

Discussion Questions

1 . Have you ever followed wrong directions? Where did you end up?

2 . For Brian, the instructions of "it's the fifth house on the right" changed his path forever . What are some of the best game changer statements spoken over your life?

3 . Cherie spoke of what she would say to her twentyone-year-old self and how she would encourage twenty-two-year-old Brian . What words of wisdom would you give your beginning self at the start of your relationship with your spouse? How would you encourage your beginning spouse?

4 . When have you fallen into the trap of following someone else's Dan Henrys for money or marriage? What happened as a result?

Fostering Financial Foreplay

If budget and time allow, return to the place where you and your spouse first met . You might dine at the restaurant of your first date or take a walk together in a location significant to your beginnings . If time or location constrain your efforts, take a stroll down memory lane by looking through old photos or love letters .

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CHAPTER 2

What Is Financial Foreplay?

From a House Divided to a Blissful Union

Many people spend more time in planning the wedding than they

do in planning the marriage.

ZIG ZIGLAR

Discussion Questions

1 . What's the best wedding you've ever attended? What's

the weirdest wedding you've ever attended?

2 . Have you ever known someone who used the wrong

methodology to gain marital intimacy (akin to wearing

a bamboo headset)?

What Is Financial Foreplay?

3 . Did you write your own marriage vows? Which promises

that you made became more "real" to you after you'd

been married awhile? Handwrite or type your original

wedding vows . Post them on your refrigerator or

48 bathroom mirror to remind yourself of the promises

you've made .

4 . Have you ever accidentally driven off the road? What

happened?

5 . What are some rumble strips--safeguards to protect

9780310351221_YourMoneyy_oYouurrMraerrilaaget_iiontn.insddhi4p8s-- that you have in your marriage or

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personal life? What are some rumble strips that would

be beneficial to employ?

6 . Do you currently have a marriage investment fund? If

you don't, how could you start one? How would you

spend the dollars you save?

Fostering Financial Foreplay

? Together with your spouse, compose your own money vows . Speak them out loud to each other . Remain true to the promises you make . Renew your vows as necessary .

? Target a dollar amount that you will set aside as a part of your romance budget . Choose one of the methods Cherie mentions to begin building a fund meant only for activities to enhance romance and build intimacy in your marriage .

CHAPTER 3

What Did You Say?

From Different Books to the Same Page

Huh?

EVERY SPOUSE EVER FROM THE OTHER ROOM

In theory, the process of communication is simple. You speak, your spouse hears. Your spouse speaks, you hear. You nod your heads robotically in agreement, and as in a picture-perfect world or a Stepford Wives-style 1950s movie, you gleefully hold hands and

financial outlook but also crank up the heat under the sheets.

Discussion Questions

YOUR1 .MDOoNyoEuY,rYemOUeRmbMeAr RwRaIitAinGgEfor your spouse on your

wedding day? Where were you and how did it feel?

2 . Have you ever played a game like Win, Lose, or

Draw where you needed to convey a message

without speaking? Were you successful? How does

our body language, tone, and context make or

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break financial discussions in marriage?

3 . What's the longest you've ever waited in line (think

amusement park, concerts, purchasing something, or

at a restaurant)?

9780310351221_YourMon4e y. _HYoaursMaerrxiaeger_cinit.sinidndg75patience ever paid off for you in your

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finances? When has your spouse been patient for you?

5 . Which of the action steps to foster financial foreplay

have made an impact on your marriage in the past?

Which should you be more intentional about on a

regular basis?

6 . How might the filter of "Is it loving or is it lipping off"

rearrange the words you speak to your spouse?

Fostering Financial Foreplay

? Choose one of the action steps to foster financial foreplay and focus on implementing it every day this week .

? Brian and Cherie talked about how big dreams fueled their journey of paying off debt . Brainstorm a list of big financial dreams with your spouse: paying off debt, going on vacation, buying a new house, saving for retirement, paying for your kids' college . Write them down on a large sheet of paper . Stand on that page together and pray over your dreams .

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