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A TALE OF TWO FAMILIES

The Angelino Family

The Angelino family has five children and a sixth on the way. The children are aged 14 (girl), 10 (girl), 7 (boy), and 6 (girl). The all attend a nearby parochial school. Mr. Angelino owns a butcher shop which had been his father’s and which begun by his grandfather, who emigrated from Italy in 1904. The butcher ship at one time had living quarters for the family, but about ten years ago they moved into a large, Victorian-style house about a block away.

Mr. Angelino’s youngest brother once came back from college with ideas about expanding the business and marketing the family’s secret recipe for Italian sausage, but Mr. Angelino (the oldest son) decided against it because it would take too much time away from the family. He is fond of saying, “We ain’t rich, but we got a roof over our heads, food in our bellies, and each other. What more could we want” This youngest brother is the only one in the family with a college education and is also the only who scandalized the family by marrying a non-Catholic. Mr. Angelino uses his little brother as an example of the detrimental effects of “too much education.”

Both Mr. and Mrs. Angelin0 come from large families; most of their brothers and sisters live in the “little Italy” section of this large Eastern city. The grandparents are all dead with the exception of Mrs. Angelino’s mother (Mama). She lives in the home with them and is very frail. One of Mrs. Angelino’s brothers or sisters is sure to stop by nearly every day bringing children, flowers, and/or food, for a “visit with Mama.” They often take Mama for drives to their homes for short visits—depending on her health—and help with her basic care.

Life with the Angelinos can be described as a kind of happy chaos. Kids are always running in and out of the butcher shop, where the older brothers and male cousins are often assigned small task in return for a piece of salami or some other treat. The old house is always full of children—siblings and cousins—from teenagers to toddlers. Children are pretty much indulged until they reach nine or ten, at which time they are expected to begin taking responsibility, which is divided strictly along traditional sex-role lines. Child care, cooking, and cleaning are accomplished by the women: virtually always older sisters or cousins, aunts or mothers. Evening meals are a social event. There is always at least one extended family member or friend at the table, and everyone talks about the events of the day—sometimes all at once—except when Mr. Angelino has something to say, whereupon everyone stops to listen. Mr. Angelino is obviously a very affectionate father, but he expects his word to be obeyed. Bedtimes, rules about talking at the table, curfews, and other rules are strictly enforced. This situation is beginning to cause conflict with the oldest daughter, who wants to date and spend more time with her friends from school. Mrs. Angelino is often sympathetic to her children’s request, but her husband has the final say.

All in all, life in the Angelino home is warm, close and harmonious. Mrs. Angelino, as she approaches her month pregnancy with this last “surprise” child shares her contentment with her priest: “I don’t know what I have done to deserve so many blessings from the Good Lord.”

The Taylor Family

Mr. and Mrs. Taylor have been married for two years; she is expecting their first child. Mr. Taylor is the youngest partner in a la prestigious law firm in this Midwestern city. Everybody considers him upwardly mobile and thinks it is phenomenal that he should achieve a partnership only three years out of law school. Mrs. Taylor has a degree in interior design and worked full time for a while for a decorating firm in another city. After her marriage, the Taylors moved to this city, and she has a part-time, “on-call” job with an exclusive architectural firm. She has ambitions of opening her own shop.

Mr. Taylor is an only child. His parents live on the East Coast. They are both successful in business—he is a banker; she a real estate broker. They have always demanded perfection from their son, and he seems to have lived up to their expectations. Mrs. Taylor has one younger sister; her parents live on the West Coast. They are both professional persons—he is college professor, and she is a social worker. Mrs. Taylor’s family occasionally has joint conference calls with parents and the two siblings to decide some important issue or to relay some big news. Mrs. Taylor’s parents place no demands on her except that she is true to herself. They often tell her how proud they are of her accomplishments.

Both sets of parents are experiencing grandparenthood for the first time with Mrs. Taylor’s pregnancy. They are thrilled. It sometimes seems to the Taylors that heir parents vie with each other in the gifts they give them. The Taylors refuse the more extravagant gifts in order to make the point that they, indeed, making it on their own. They have discusses some strategies for disentangling themselves from so much contact with their parents.

The Taylors’ avant-garde apartment is the scene of much entertaining: his law firm associates, her artistic friends and decorating clients. Although their social spheres overlap somewhat, each has separate groups of friends and pursues their unique interests. They call this “giving each other space,” and consider it an important strength in their marriage. The Taylors believe strongly in supporting each other’s careers and in sharing family responsibilities—they divide cooking and cleaning in a flexible way, according to whoever has the time. They attending Lamaze classes together and are looking forward to sharing childbirth.

Assume that the baby born to each family is healthy, calm, and beautiful, and has Down syndrome.

Complete the following checklist and consider the questions at the bottom of each. Your Drop Box response will include the culmination of these activities.

A. Family characteristics: Below is a list of values that commonly come to many people’s minds when they are asked to name some of the things that are important to them in life. These values are often rooted in one’s cultural experiences. Rate both the Taylor and the Angelino families according to whether you think they would attach a high (3), medium (2), or low (1) level of importance to each value (3 pt.).

Angelinos Taylor

Broad-minded (open-minded, accepting of difference) _____ _____

Cheerfulness (lighted, joyful, positive outlook) _____ _____

Equality (equal opportunity for all) _____ _____

Exciting life (stimulating, active life) _____ _____

Independent (self-reliant, free choice) _____ _____

Logical (consistent, logical, problem-solving approach) _____ _____

Loving (affectionate, tender, intimate) _____ _____

Security (feel safe and protected) _____ _____

Social recognition (respect, admiration) _____ _____

A.1 (1 pt.): Look back over the list and rate yourself on each value. How would your own values affect your interaction with each family?

A.2 (3 pts.): Compare and contrast the strengths of these two families. How might each of the families incorporate their strengths to encourage a positive contribution by and great expectations for their new baby?

A.3 (3 pts.): Compare and contrast the family traditions and ethnic backgrounds of these two families. How might their background affect their perspectives of exceptionality?

B. Family Interaction:

B.1 (2 pts.): Identify the various subsystems of each family.

B.2 (3 pts.): How do you predict that the cohesion and adaptability of each family will shift (if at all) after the birth of their baby with Down syndrome?

Adaptability

The statements below are descriptive of a very closed rigid family. Decide whether each statement is either mostly true or mostly false for the Angelino and Taylor families. (2 pts.)

Angelino Taylors

Power: One person in the family consistently

makes all major decisions, of the spheres for

decision making are strictly confined. _____ _____

Role Relationships: Tasks or roles are assigned

to specific family members; there is little or no

sharing of responsibilities. _____ _____

Relationship Rules: Household rules are

clearly defined, strictly enforced, and hard

to change. _____ _____

Cohesion

The statements below are descriptive in general of a highly cohesive family. Decide whether each statement is either mostly true or mostly false for the Taylor family and for the Angelino family. (2 pts.)

Angelinos Taylors

Closeness: The family cares almost

exclusively for its own members. _____ _____

Support: The family accepts emotional

support only from its own members. _____ _____

Decision Making: The family bases its

decisions on group welfare rather than

individual need. _____ _____

Commonality: Family members mostly

share activities and friends rather than

pursuing separate interests. _____ _____

B.3 (3 pts.): What advantages and disadvantages will each family’s style of cohesion and adaptability give them in their efforts to best support their child’s development?

C. Family Functions: Consider how the Taylors and Angelino currently fill the needs of their families in the various family functions. In other words, think about what, specifically, each family does in each area, and who has responsibility for carrying out those tasks. (Feel free to “invent” more details about these families as you complete this task.).

C.1 (21 pts.): For each need listed, identify what the family member(s) do and what family member(s) do it.

Consider each of the needs listed below for each family.

ECONOMIC NEEDS DAILY NEEDS

RECREATION NEEDS SOCIALIZATION

AFFECTIONS NEEDS SELF-IDENTITY NEEDS

EDUCATIONAL/VOCATIONAL NEEDS

Now, consider how their child with Down syndrome might affect each family’s ability to meet needs in the various areas.

C.2 (2 pts.): In which areas might the exceptionality make it more difficult to meet needs? How?

C.3 (2 pts.): In which areas might exceptionality make it easier to fill needs? How?

C.4 (3 pts.): Compare and contrast the two families in the ways mental retardation might affect their ability to meet needs.

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