Mrs. Hunt- English



Personal Statement/College EssayPre-writing assignmentSo……What is the point of this? Many scholarships and applications to post-secondary schools will ask for a personal statement or college essay. What you write in this class can serve as a starting point for these things. I know that some of you will not need to write a personal statement because you plan to go directly into the workforce, but these are also questions often asked of job applicants. A personal statement is a great way to reflect on who you are and what you can offer to the university or the job you are seeking. You don’t have to do this now, but……If you plan to apply to a university or technical school, access the institution’s website, find the application for admission, and see what it asks the applicant to submit. Tailor this writing assignment to fit your specific plans! You may see the terms “college essay” or “personal statement” used on applications. I also recommend that you do some additional reading if you are attending an institution or applying for a scholarship that asks for any type of essay. Here is an excellent source (specifically parts 1 and 4): Your Personal Statement Topics: Directions: Choose one of the following topics and write a personal statement between 500-700 words. 1. Describe the world you come from–for example, your family, community or school–and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.Suggestions for Prompt #1 ? You don’t need to talk about family and community and school. Pick one and be descriptive.? Keep your response relevant; focus on events that happened in the four years of high school.? 2. The lessons we take from failure can be fundamental to later success. Recount an incident or time when you experienced failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?? 3. Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?Don’t Have a Clue? Start here!Prompt #1:Describe the world you come from – for example, your family, community or school – and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations. Ask yourself these questions. What answer do you want to share with us that we have not seen elsewhere in your application?? What are the challenges or opportunities you find in your community?? What role do you play in your family, and how has that influenced your decisions in and out of school?? Do you identify with one or more cultures? Can you speak more than one language? What has that allowed you to do in life? ?What is a typical day or week in your life, and how do you manage to accomplish everything??What is your school like? Are you in a magnet or academy? Describe the program and why you enrolled.? How are you challenging yourself in school to prepare for college? Is attending college common for graduating seniors?? If you hold a leadership role: Did you apply or were you nominated? What does that role mean at your school or in your community? How did you grow in this role?? Do you have a major or career in mind? What is it and why did you choose it? Are there anyCourses and/or extracurricular activities you have completed to get you started in this area?Prompt #3:Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?Things to consider before answering Prompt #3:? Make a list of four things that describe you (e.g., athletic, a leader, first in my family to go to college, started a club, own my own business, etc.):1._____________________________________________________________________2._____________________________________________________________________3._____________________________________________________________________4.______________________________________________________________________Now ask a friend or family member to do the same thing:1._____________________________________________________________________2._____________________________________________________________________3._____________________________________________________________________4.______________________________________________________________________Did anything overlap? Can you see areas where you want to share more information? If so, consider using this topic to respond to Prompt #3.? What do you consider one of your strengths?? What activities, awards or honors do you wish to discuss?Outline of Personal Statement TopicWhat do you like about the topic? (List two details below using several words, bullets or phrases.) Detail 1 __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Detail 2__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________3. What do you need to share that is necessary to your story about the topic? (List two details below using several words, bullets or phrases.)Detail 1__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Detail 2__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________4. What two qualities or skills do you possess, which you can share with the reader about this topic? (List two qualities/skills below then describe those by using several words, bullets or phrases.) Quality/Skill 1: ______________________________________________________________________________Description of Quality/Skill 1: __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Quality/Skill 2: ______________________________________________________________________________Description of Quality/Skill 2: __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________5. What is the main idea/thesis of your essay: (Write one sentence) ______________________________________________________________________________6. Create a potential title for your essay. ______________________________________________________________________________WHY WRITE A FIRST-RATE PERSONAL STATEMENT?Colleges receive thousands of applications from qualified high-school seniors seeking admission.? How do schools distinguish among all of these bright students who have nearly identical grades, scores, extra-curricular activities and teacher recommendations?? The answer is, the personal statement essay. Because so many applications are being read, your statement needs to stand out - make the readers want to know you personally. As for job-seekers, the it is the same. Employers may receive dozens or even 100+ applications and résumés; you must stand out from the other applicants to even get an interview, much less a job. WHAT ARE COLLEGES AND EMPLOYERS LOOKING FOR?Colleges are looking for creativeness, intellectualness, genuineness, and a passion about your topic.HOW DO YOU CHOOSE A TOPIC?The deeper question in a personal statement is "Who are you?"? Choose a topic that divulges something important about you and then explain that importance.? EXAMPLES OF PERSONAL STATEMENT QUESTIONS:Evaluate a significant experience or achievement that has special meaning to ics - an experience as a camp counselor, receiving an award, a negative situation that turned out positiveIndicate a person who has had a significant influence on you and describe that ics - a teacher in the area you are concentrating on in college, a counselor, a friend with a disability or eccentricityDescribe the qualities and accomplishments you would bring to the undergraduate student body or to the ics - event that shows your perseverance, curiosity, compassion, ability to mediate, analyzeCOMPLETING THE STATEMENT:You need a beginning, middle, and end:? The beginning familiarizes the topic for the reader and gives direction.? The middle gives details, develops, and proves your topic.? The ending reminds the reader where you begin; use an unpredictable conclusion - not exactly?like the introduction.? All three sections need to be consistent; stay on track.TIPS ON WRITING:? Be specific and concrete? Use details that appeal to the senses - create a vivid image? Be positive - not negative.THE DO'S AND DON'TsDO:*Use a photocopy of the application as a rough draft*Read the question asked carefully*Comply with work/space requirements - they are used to tell you how in depth you should be*If a choice is given - shorter is better*Express emotions within limits - especially when referring to contradictory emotions*Authentically tell:? 1. What you realized? 2. How it changed you? 3. What it meant to you? 4. Why you find it a worthwhile topic*Use a thesaurus*Vary sentence length and structure*Be personal*Chose one event - not an entire trip *Proofread and have others edit for mistakes*Watch spelling, grammar, punctuation*Make a photocopy of the final for your recordsDON'T:*Cross out, write over, or use white out*Use pencil*List activities and their dates*Use a large subject*Use gimmicks or try to be cute*Do a humorous essay unless you are positive that others will see it as humorous*Use clichés*Continue to repeat ideas*Use passive voice*Say, "I felt," "I noticed," etc…*Whine, complain, be sarcastic, etc…Directions: Choose one of the following essays and identify these aspects of it: the beginning (details that make you familiar with their topic), middle (details that develop the topic or prove the points), and the end (the *unpredictable* conclusion).The following are some sample personal statements. These are the prompts these people were given for writing their personal statements. These are just examples.Option #1. Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.Note the key word here: evaluate. You aren't just describing something; the best essays will explore the complexity of the issue. When you examine the "impact on you," you need to show the depth of your critical thinking abilities. Introspection, self-awareness and self-analysis are all important here. And be careful with essays about the winning touchdown or tie-breaking goal. These sometimes have an off-putting "look how great I am" tone and very little self-evaluation.The Job I Should Have QuitYou can learn a lot about me from a quick glance in my closet. You’ll find no clothes, but shelves filled with motorized Lego kits, Erector sets, model rockets, remote control race cars, and boxes full of motors, wires, batteries, propellers, soldering irons and hand tools. I’ve always enjoyed building things. No one was surprised when I decided to apply to college for mechanical engineering.When last May a friend of my father’s asked me if I wanted a summer job working for his machining company, I jumped at the opportunity. I would learn how to use computer-operated lathes and milling machines, I would gain valuable hands-on experience for my college studies, and I’d get a good line on my résumé.Within hours of beginning my new job, I learned that my father’s friend was a subcontractor for the military. The components I’d be making would be used in military vehicles. After that first day of work, I had many conflicting thoughts.I’m firmly against the United States’ overuse of military might in the world theater. I’m a big critic of our mismanaged involvement in Iraq. I’m appalled by the number of lives that have been lost in the Middle East, many of them young Americans like myself. I want our troops to have the best equipment they can, but I also believe that our possession of the best military equipment makes us more likely to go to war. Military technology continues to grow more lethal, and technological developments create a never-ending cycle of military escalation.Did I want to be part of this cycle? To this day I still weigh the ethical dilemma of my summer work. Were I to not do the job, the vehicle components would still be produced. Also, the parts I was making were for support vehicles, not assault weaponry. It’s even possible that my work would be saving lives, not endangering them. On the other hand, nuclear bombs and missile guidance systems were all created by scientists and engineers with good intentions. I’m convinced that even the most innocent involvement in the science of war makes one complicit in war itself.I considered quitting the job. Were I true to my ideals, I really should have walked away and spent the summer mowing lawns or bagging groceries. My parents argued in favor of the machinist job. They made valid points about the value of the experience and the ways that it would lead to bigger opportunities in the future.In the end I kept the job, partly from my parents’ advice and partly from my own desire to be doing real engineering work. Looking back, I think my decision was one of convenience and cowardice. I didn’t want to insult my father’s friend. I didn’t want to disappoint my parents. I didn’t want to let a professional opportunity slip away. I didn’t want to mow lawns.But what does my decision say about the future? My summer job made me recognize that the military is a big employer of engineers, whether directly or indirectly. Undoubtedly I’ll be confronting similar yet more serious ethical decisions in the future. What if my first job offer has a stunning salary and interesting engineering challenges, but the employer is a defense contractor like Lockheed or Raytheon? Will I turn down the job, or will I once again compromise my ideals? I may even face such conflicts during college. Many engineering professors work under military grants, so my college research and internships could get entangled in messy ethical dilemmas.I’m hoping I’ll make a better decision the next time my ideals are challenged. If nothing else, my summer job has made me more aware of the types of information I want to collect before I accept a job and arrive at my first day of work. What I learned about myself during my summer work wasn’t exactly flattering. Indeed, it makes me realize that I need college so that I can develop not just my engineering skills, but also my ethical reasoning and leadership skills. I like to think that in the future I’ll use my engineering skills to better the world and tackle noble causes like climate change and sustainability. My bad decision this past summer has inspired me to look ahead and find ways to make my ideals and my love of engineering work together.Option #5. A range of academic interests, personal perspectives, and life experiences adds much to the educational mix. Given your personal background, describe an experience that illustrates what you would bring to the diversity in a college community, or an encounter that demonstrated the importance of diversity to you.Realize that this question defines "diversity" in broad terms. It's not specifically about race or ethnicity (although it can be). Ideally, the admissions folks want every student they admit to contribute to the richness and breadth of the campus community. How do you contribute?Give Goth a ChanceWhen I sat down to write this essay, I tried, as my high school English teacher always instructed, to imagine the audience for my writing. The more I thought about it, the more I pitied the college admissions screeners who would be reading a thousand essays on diversity. Along with the expected takes on race and ethnicity, how many of those essays would present their authors as outcasts, loners, kids who didn’t fit in at his or her school? How could I present myself as someone unique and interesting—strange, even—without falling prey to the cliché of the self-pitying social misfit?Let me be direct: in some ways, I am the antithesis of what one might picture as a student who contributes to campus diversity. I am white, middle-class, and heterosexual; I have no physical handicaps or mental challenges apart from a tendency towards sarcasm. But when I receive college brochures picturing smiling, clean-cut teens dressed in the latest from Abercrombie & Fitch and lounging on a blanket in the sun, I think, those people are not like me.Simply put, I am a Goth. I wear black, lots of it. I have piercings and ear gauges and tattoos. My hair, naturally the same sandy blonde that the rest of my family shares, is dyed jet, sometimes highlighted in streaks of purple or scarlet. I rarely smile, and I don’t do sun. If I were inserted into those brochure photographs of typical college students, I would look like a vampire stalking her wholesome prey.Again, I am imagining my reading audience, and I can almost see my readers’ eyes roll. So you’re a little weird, kid. How does that contribute to campus diversity? Well, I think I contribute plenty. Diversity goes beyond the physical; race or ethnicity might be the first things one thinks of, but really, it is a question of what makes someone the person that he or she is. Diversity might be considered in terms of economic or geographical background, life experiences, religion, sexual orientation, and even personal interests and general outlook. In this respect, my Goth identity contributes a perspective that is far different from the mainstream. Being Goth isn’t just about physical appearance; it’s a way of life that, like any other, includes not only individual tastes in music, literature, and popular culture, but also particular beliefs about philosophy, spirituality, and a range of other human issues.To give just one specific example, I am planning to major in Environmental Studies, and while it might seem odd to picture a ghoulishly-dressed girl who adores the natural world, it was my Goth outlook that led me to this academic interest. I read voraciously, and am drawn to subject matter that is somewhat dark; the more I read about humanity’s impact on the planet and the near-apocalyptic dangers posed by global climate change, pollution, overpopulation, the manipulation of the food supply and other environmental threats, the more interested I became, and the more determined that I should become involved. I, along with other members of my school’s Environmental Club, started a campus recycling program, and lobbied our superintendent to install in all classrooms power strips that are used to easily shut down equipment such as printers and computers at the end of the day, thereby conserving energy and generating significant savings for our school. I was drawn to this dark subject matter of environmental crisis, not to wallow in it or savor the Schadenfreude, but to change it and make the world a better place.I know Goths look a little funny, as we wear our ebony trenchcoats in seventy-degree weather. I know we seem a little odd as we gather in shady nooks to discuss the latest episode of True Blood. I know professors may sigh as we swell the enrollments of poetry and art classes. Yes, we’re different. And we—I—have a lot to contribute. ................
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