Extended Metaphor Poems 44.org



Extended Metaphor Poems

Read the following poem:

|[pic] |  |

| |Bat |

| |My son is a bat. |

| |His eyes blink when darkness comes. |

| |His body stirs with life. |

| |His limbs gorge with blood |

| |as he sets out through the cave of night |

| |his roof the stars |

| |the moon a big white eye watching. |

| |Attracted by the false lights |

| |he mingles with his batty friends |

| |weaving in and out of nightclubs |

| |endless parties |

| |each other’s places |

| |till sensing the sudden ebb |

| |of darkness |

| |he flutters home |

| |a cloaked Dracula |

| |to the hollow of his room |

| |where he will sleep all day. |

In this poem I’ve compared my son to a bat -- not by using ‘like’ or ‘as’ but saying he is a bat ; where you say one thing is something else [ " the sun is a yellow beach ball " ] you are using a metaphor.

Now when you explore that metaphor -- the ways my son is a bat or the sun a yellow beach ball you are extending the metaphor.

A student I taught wrote this poem about her mother:

My Mum

My mum is a general.

She stalks through the house

telling me what to do.

She then sleeps throughout the night.

But when she wakes up.....

her medals clanking, stars shining

& roars us to attention

she barks orders as she charges

through the house:

" Lisa, do the dishes ! "

" Lisa, clean your room ! "

then crawls back to her bedroom

while we, her dutiful soldiers

carry out her orders.

Task 1

• if Lisa truly followed the pattern of Bat what might she have called her poem ?

• which title is better ? why do you think ?

• what additional thing did Lisa put in her poem that isn’t in Bat ?

Now here is another poem written by a student of mine:

My Brother

My brother is a killer whale.

He is huge and scary

with tatts, long hair & beard.

But underneath he is meek

spending time in the garden

and around the house

socialising with the ones

he loves

giving my cousins rides

upon his back.

Truly he is more dolphin than killerwhale.

TASK 2

• where Lisa’s poem added dialogue to the model of Bat what change to the model does Linda make ?

• do any of these three poems remind you of anyone ?

TASK 3

• Now it is your turn to write.

• Choose someone you know -- a family friend, a relative, a teacher, a student, a celebrity, a cartoon character.

• Write down a one line opener.

• Then extend the metaphor by describing in what ways your person is like the object you’ve compared them to.

• If, for example, your little brother is real timid you might put down:

‘My little brother is a mouse....’

then go on to describe how he is timid.

Perhaps you might like to try an extended metaphor poem on an object rather than a person. How might you go about it? The next poem shows you a way:

|Bath |[pic] |

|A boat-shaped vessel with room | |

|for one ; when you | |

|clamber into a bath, you are | |

|captain, crew, passenger | |

|rolled into one --- yet baths | |

|require no special skills | |

|nor do they stand on ceremony ; | |

|in this they are like | |

|some beaches -- dress is entirely | |

|optional ; entering a bath | |

|you enter a topsy turvy world | |

|where water fills the craft not | |

|surrounds it -- though baths will | |

|never sink ; head back, you | |

|settle down but are going nowhere--- | |

|baths have no destinations | |

|nor sails and are permanently in | |

|dry dock -- yet people | |

|have been known to drift off | |

|in baths emerging | |

|rosy skinned and luminous as if | |

|fresh from a voyage. | |

TASK 4

• choose a common household object or appliance --- a shower would be a good one, or a fridge -- and do an extended metaphor piece on that: deciding first of all what comparison you’ll go with then developing it ; remember get the first line then take it from there!

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