Cockney Rhyming Slang: ENGLISH to SLANG



Cockney Rhyming Slang: ENGLISH to SLANG

A

AIDS .................................... Ace Of Spades

All-Dayer (Drinking Session) ............ Leo Sayer

Alone ................................... Jack Jones

Alone ................................... Pat Malone

Alone ................................... Todd Sloane

Arm ..................................... Chalk Farm

Army .................................... Daft And Barmy

Army .................................... Kate Karney

Arse .................................... Aris

Arse .................................... Bottle And Glass

Arse .................................... Khyber Pass

Arsehole ................................ Elephant And Castle

Aunt .................................... Mrs. Chant

B

Baby .................................... Basin Of Gravy

Back .................................... Cilla Black

Back .................................... Hammer And Tack

Back .................................... Jumping Jack

Bad ..................................... Shepherd's Plaid

Bad ..................................... Sorry And Sad

Balls (Testicles) ....................... Cobblers Awls

Balls (Testicles) ....................... Niagara Falls

Balls (Testicles) ....................... Orchestra Stalls

Balti ................................... Basil Fawlty

Banana .................................. Gertie Gitana

Bank .................................... Cab Rank

Bank .................................... Iron Tank

Bank .................................... J. Arthur Rank

Bank .................................... Tin Tank

Bar (Pub) ............................... Jack Tar

Bar (Pub) ............................... Near And Far

Barrow .................................. Bow And Arrow

Barrow .................................. Cock Sparrow

Bass .................................... Beggar Boy's Ass

Battery ................................. Tony Slattery

Beak .................................... Bubble And Squeak

Beard ................................... Strange And Weird

Bed ..................................... Skein Of Thread

Bed ..................................... Uncle Ted

Beef .................................... Stop Thief

Beer .................................... Pig's Ear

Beers ................................... Britney Spears

Beginner ................................ Lilley And Skinner

Believe ................................. Adam And Eve

Believe ................................. Christmas Eve

Belly ................................... Auntie Nellie

Belly ................................... Derby Kelly

Bent (Criminal) ......................... Stoke On Trent

Best .................................... Mae West

Bet ..................................... House To Let

Bigot ................................... Lester Piggot

Big 'Un (Big One) ....................... Barry McGuigan

Bike .................................... Clever Mike

Bill (Statement) ........................ Beechams Pill

Bill (Statement) ........................ Jack And Jill

Bird .................................... Richard The Third

Bitch ................................... Miss Fitch

Bitter (Beer) ........................... Apple Fritter

Bitter (Beer) ........................... Laugh And Titter

Blazer .................................. Razor

Bloke ................................... Heap Of Coke

Blotto .................................. Santa's Grotto

Boat .................................... Nanny Goat

Bob (Shilling) .......................... Touch Me On The Knob

Boil .................................... Can Of Oil

Boil .................................... Conan Doyle

Bollocks ................................ Fun And Frolics

Bollocks ................................ Jackson Pollocks

Bollocks ................................ Tommy Rollocks

Bomb .................................... Derry And Tom

Bonkers (Mad) ........................... Marbles And Conkers

Book .................................... Captain Cook

Book .................................... Captain Hook

Book .................................... Fish Hook

Book .................................... Jackdaw And Rook

Book .................................... Joe Hook

Bookies (Bookmakers) .................... Cream Cookies

Boots ................................... Daisy Roots

Booze (Alcohol) ......................... River Ouse

Boozer (Bar) ............................ Battle Cruiser

Boozer (Heavy Drinker) .................. All Time Loser

Boss .................................... Pitch And Toss

Bottle .................................. Aristotle

Bowler .................................. Bottle Of Cola

Box ..................................... Charles Fox

Box ..................................... Darky Cox

Box ..................................... James Fox

Box ..................................... Nervo And Knox

Boy ..................................... Rob Roy

Boy ..................................... San Toy

Bra ..................................... Master McGrath

Braces .................................. Airs And Graces

Braces .................................. Ascot Races

Brains .................................. Down The Drains

Brandy .................................. Fine And Dandy

Brandy .................................. Jack The Dandy

Bread ................................... Uncle Fred

Breath .................................. King Death

Breeches ................................ Rank And Riches

Broke (Financially Ruined) .............. Coals And Coke

Broke (Financially Ruined) .............. Hearts Of Oak

Brokers ................................. Engineers And Stokers

Brother ................................. One And The Other

Bucket .................................. Mrs. Duckett

Bum (Arse) .............................. Fife And Drum

Bum (Arse) .............................. Kingdom Come

Bum (Arse) .............................. Queen Mum

Bunk .................................... Pineapple Chunk

Butter .................................. Johnnie Rutter

Butter .................................. Mutter And Stutter

Butter .................................. Pull Down The Shutter

Butter .................................. Stammer And Stutter

C

Cab (Taxi) .............................. Flounder And Dab

Cab (Taxi) .............................. Sherbet Dab

Cadge (Borrow) .......................... Coat And Badge

Cab (Taxi) .............................. Andy McNab

Cake .................................... Sexton Blake

Can (Prison or Wall Safe) ............... Peter Pan

Candle .................................. Harry Randall

Candle .................................. Saucepan Handle

Car ..................................... Jam Jar

Car (Esp. Flash One) .................... Danny Marr

Card .................................... Bladder Of Lard

Carling (Beer) .......................... Roger Starling

Cash .................................... Arthur Ashe

Cash .................................... Bangers And Mash

Cash .................................... Oscar Asche

Cash .................................... Sausage And Mash

Cat ..................................... Brown Hat

Cat ..................................... This And That

Cell (Prison) ........................... Flowery Dell

Chair ................................... Lion's Lair

Chalk ................................... Duke Of York

Chancer ................................. Bengal Lancer

Chapel .................................. Pineapple

Charlie (Cocaine) ....................... Gianluca Vialli

Chat .................................... Chew The Fat

Chat .................................... Top Hat

Cheek ................................... Once A Week

Cheese .................................. Bended Knees

Cheese .................................. John Cleese

Cheese .................................. Stand At Ease

Cheque .................................. Goose's Neck

Cheque .................................. Gregory Peck

Cheque .................................. Nervous Wreck

Chin .................................... Harry Lin

Chink (Chinese Person) .................. Rink-A-Dink

Church .................................. Left In The Lurch

Cider ................................... Winona Ryder

Cigar ................................... La-Di-Da

Class ................................... Bottle And Glass

Clock ................................... Dickory Dock

Clock ................................... Tick-Tock

Club .................................... Rub-A-Dub

Clue .................................... Danny La Rue

Clue .................................... Pot Of Glue

Clue .................................... Scooby Doo

Coach ................................... Cockroach

Coat .................................... All Afloat

Coat .................................... Billy Goat

Coat .................................... Nanny Goat

Coat .................................... Quaker Oat

Coat .................................... Weasel And Stoat

Cock (Penis) ............................ Brighton Rock

Cock (Penis) ............................ Stick Of Rock

Coffee .................................. Sticky Toffee

Cold .................................... Cheltenham Bold

Cold .................................... Potatoes In The Mould (Taters)

Collar .................................. Holloa Boys Holloa

Cook .................................... Babbling Brook

Cop (Police) ............................ John Hop

Copper (Police) ......................... Bottle And Stopper

Copper (Police) ......................... Grasshopper

Cork .................................... Duke Of York

Corner .................................. Johnny Horner

Crabs ................................... Dribs And Drabs

Crap .................................... Horse And Trap

Crap .................................... Pony And Trap

Crap .................................... Von Trappe

Crash ................................... Sausage And Mash

Crime ................................... Lemon And Lime

Cripple ................................. Raspberry Ripple

Crook (Criminal) ........................ Babbling Brook

Crook (Criminal) ........................ Joe Rook

Crown ................................... Lousy Brown

Crust ................................... You Must

Cry ..................................... Pipe Your Eye

Cunt .................................... Back And Front

Cunt .................................... Berkshire Hunt (Berk)

Cunt .................................... Sir Anthony Blunt

Cupboard ................................ Mother Hubbard

Curry ................................... Ruby Murray

Curtains ................................ Richard Burtons

D

Daft .................................... Fore And Aft

Dance ................................... Kick And Prance

Darling ................................. Briney Marlin

Daughter ................................ Bottle Of Porter

Daughter ................................ Bricks And Mortar

Dead .................................... Brown Bread

Deaf .................................... Mutt And Jeff

Dice .................................... Rats And Mice

Diet .................................... Brixton Riot

Dinner .................................. Jim Skinner

Dinner .................................. John Skinner

Dinner .................................. Lilley And Skinner

Dirty ................................... Two-Thirty

Do So ................................... Robinson Crusoe

Dog ..................................... Cherry Hog

Dole .................................... Rock And Roll

Dollar (Five Shillings) ................. Oxford Scholar

Door .................................... Henry Moore

Door .................................... Rory O'Moore

Dose .................................... Half A Gross

Dozen ................................... Country Cousin

Draft ................................... George Raft

Draught ................................. George Raft

Drawers (Pair Of) ....................... Early Doors

Drink ................................... Tiddlywink

Drink ................................... Tumble Down The Sink

Dripping ................................ Doctor Crippen

Drunk (Inebriated) ...................... Elephant's Trunk

Dump (Excrete) .......................... Donald Trump

Dump (Excrete) .......................... Forest Gump

Dyke (Lesbian) .......................... Raleigh Bike

E

Earner .................................. Tina Turner

Ears .................................... King Lears

Ears .................................... Sighs And Tears

Easy .................................... Bright And Breezy

Easy .................................... Ham And Cheesy

Easy .................................... Lemon Squeezy

Egg ..................................... Borrow And Beg

Egg ..................................... Clothes Peg

Egg ..................................... Scotch Peg

Eight ................................... Harry Tate

Engineer ................................ Ginger Beer

Evens (Fifty-Fifty Bet) ................. Major Stevens

Eyes .................................... Mince Pies

F

Face .................................... Chevy Chase

Face .................................... Boat Race

Faces ................................... Airs And Graces

Facts ................................... Brass Tacks

Fag (Cigarette) ......................... Harry Wragg

Fag (Cigarette) ......................... Oily Rag

Fair Enough ............................. Hairy Muff

Fake .................................... Sexton Blake

Fanny ................................... Jack And Danny

Fare .................................... Grey Mare

Fart .................................... Horse And Cart

Fart .................................... Jam Tart

Fart (Blowing Raspberries) .............. Raspberry Tart

Fax ..................................... Nails And Tacks

Feet .................................... Plates Of Meat

Fever ................................... Robinson And Cleaver

Fiddle .................................. Hey Diddle Diddle

Fight ................................... Read And Write

Fighter ................................. Typewriter

Filth (Police) .......................... Uncle Wilf

Fine .................................... Calvin Klein

Fingers ................................. Longers And Lingers

Fire .................................... Anna Maria

Fire .................................... Ave Maria

Fire .................................... Jeremiah

Fire .................................... Obadiah

Fish .................................... Lillian Gish

Fist .................................... Oliver Twist

Five .................................... Jack's Alive

Fiver (Five Pound Note) ................. Deep Sea Diver

Fiver (Five Pound Note) ................. Lady Godiva

Flares (Wide Trousers) .................. Lionel Blairs

Flash ................................... Harry Dash

Flash ................................... Pie And Mash

Flea .................................... Jenny Lee

Flies ................................... Morecambe And Wise

Floor ................................... Rory O'Moore

Flowers ................................. April Showers

Flowers ................................. Early Hours

Flying Squad (Police) ................... Sweeny Todd

Fob (Watch) ............................. Kettle On The Hob

Food .................................... In The Nude

Football Pools .......................... April Fools

Fork .................................... Roast Pork

Four .................................... Door To Door

Frock ................................... Almond Rock

Fuck .................................... Aylesbury Duck

Fuck .................................... Cattle Truck

Fuck .................................... Friar Tuck

Fuck .................................... Goose And Duck

Fucker .................................. Feather Plucker

G

Garage .................................. Steve Claridge

Gargle (Drink) .......................... Arthur Scargill

Gay (Homosexual) ........................ Doris Day

Geezer .................................. Bacardi Breezer

Geezer .................................. Fridge Freezer

Geezer .................................. Ice-Cream Freezer

Geezer .................................. Lemon Squeezer

Gin ..................................... Mother's Ruin

Gin ..................................... Needle And Pin

Gin ..................................... Vera Lynn

Girl .................................... Mother Of Pearl

Girl .................................... Ocean Pearl

Girl .................................... Twist And Twirl

Giro .................................... Nightboat To Cairo

Glass ................................... Hackney Marsh

Glass ................................... Khyber Pass

Gloves .................................. Turtle Doves

Go ...................................... Scapa Flow

Good .................................... Robin Hood

Gout .................................... In And Out

Gout .................................... Salmon Trout

Grass ................................... Ernie Marsh

Gravy ................................... Army And Navy

Greek ................................... Bubble And Squeak

Ground .................................. Penny-A-Pound

Guts .................................... Newington Butts

Gutter .................................. Bread And Butter

Gym ..................................... Fat Boy Slim

H

Haddock ................................. Fanny Craddock

Haemorrhoids ............................ Emma Freuds

Hair .................................... Barnet Fair

Hair .................................... Bonney Fair

Half (A Pint) ........................... Baby Giraffe

Half (Fifty Pence) ...................... Cow's Calf

Hand .................................... Brass Band

Hand .................................... German Band

Hand .................................... Ivory Band

Hand .................................... St. Martins-Le-Grand

Handy ................................... Sugar Candy

Hanky (Handkerchief) .................... Widow Twanky

Hat ..................................... Tit For Tat (Titfer)

Head .................................... Crust Of Bread

Head .................................... Loaf Of Bread

Head .................................... Lump Of Lead

Head .................................... Uncle Ned

Heart ................................... Horse And Cart

Heart ................................... Jam Tart

Heart ................................... Raspberry Tart

Hell .................................... Ding Dong Bell

Hide .................................... Duck And Dive

Hill .................................... Jack And Jill

Hill .................................... Rhubarb Pill

Home .................................... Gates Of Rome

Home .................................... Pope In Rome

Hooker .................................. One Time Looker

Horn (Erection) ......................... Flake Of Corn

Horn (Erection) ......................... Popcorn

Horse ................................... Bottle Of Sauce

Hot ..................................... Peas In The Pot

House ................................... Cat And Mouse

House ................................... Mickey Mouse

House ................................... Rat And Mouse

I

Ice ..................................... White Mice

J

Jail .................................... Bucket And Pail

Jaw ..................................... Jackdaw

Jeans ................................... Dixie Deans

Jeans ................................... Harpers And Queens

Jew ..................................... Five To Two

Jew ..................................... Four By Two

Jewellery ............................... Tomfoolery

Jock (Scotsman) ......................... Sweaty Sock

Johnny (Condom) ......................... Reggie And Ronnie

Joke .................................... Bushey Park

Judge ................................... Barnaby Rudge

Judge ................................... Chocolate Fudge

Judge ................................... Inky Smudge

K

Keek .................................... Mozambique

Key ..................................... Jenny Lee

Keys .................................... Dancing Fleas

Kid (Child) ............................. Dustbin Lid

Kid (Child) ............................. God Forbid

Kid (Child) ............................. Saucepan Lid

Kid (Child) ............................. Teapot Lid

Kip (Sleep) ............................. Feather And Flip

Kipper .................................. Jack The Ripper

Kiss .................................... Hit And Miss

Knackered (Tired) ....................... Cream Cracker-ed

Knees ................................... Biscuits And Cheese

Knickers ................................ Alan Whickers

Knife ................................... Drum And Fife

Knife And Fork .......................... Drummond And Roce

L

Labour .................................. Beggar-My-Neighbour

Lager ................................... Forsyte Saga

Lark .................................... Bushey Park

Lark .................................... Noah's Ark

Later ................................... Alligator

Later ................................... Baked Potato

Later ................................... Christian Slater

Lather .................................. How's Your Father

Laugh ................................... Tin Bath

Laugh ................................... Turkish Bath

Legs .................................... Bacon And Eggs

Legs .................................... Ham And Eggs

Legs .................................... Mystic Megs

Legs .................................... Nutmegs

Legs .................................... Scotch Pegs

Liar .................................... Dunlop Tyre

Liar .................................... Holy Friar

Lies .................................... Pork Pies

Light ................................... Isle Of Wight

Light (Ale) ............................. Day And Night

Liver ................................... Cheerful Giver

Lodger .................................. Artful Dodger

Look .................................... Butcher's Hook

Lost .................................... Kate Moss-ed

Luck .................................... Donald Duck

Lunch ................................... Kidney Punch

M

Mad ..................................... Mum And Dad

Magistrate .............................. Garden Gate

Man ..................................... Pot And Pan

Marker (Pen) ............................ Ronnie Barker

Married ................................. Cash And Carry-ed

Match ................................... Itch And Scratch

Matches ................................. Cuts And Scratches

Mate (Friend) ........................... China Plate

Mate (Friend) ........................... Garden Gate

Meeting ................................. Buster Keaton

Melons (Breasts) ........................ Mary Ellens

Memory .................................. Dick Emery

Mental .................................. Radio Rental

Menu .................................... Me And You

Mercy ................................... Piccadilly Percy

Milk .................................... Acker Bilk

Minge ................................... Edinburgh Fringe

Minute .................................. Cock Linnet

Miss .................................... Cuddle And Kiss

Missus .................................. Cheese And Kisses

Missus .................................. Love And Kisses

Missus .................................. Plates And Dishes

Money ................................... Bees And Honey

Money ................................... Bread And Honey

Money ................................... Bugs Bunny

Money ................................... Sugar And Honey

Mormon .................................. Jerry O'Gorman

Morning ................................. Day's Dawning

Morning ................................. Gipsy's Warning

Motor ................................... Haddock And Bloater

Motor ................................... Tea, Two And A Bloater

Moustache ............................... Dot And Dash

Mouth ................................... North And South

Mouth ................................... Sunny South

Mug (Fool) .............................. Steam Tug

N

Nail .................................... Monkey's Tail

Nark .................................... Grass In The Park

Nark .................................... Noah's Ark

Navy .................................... Soup And Gravy

Neck .................................... Bushel And Peck

Neck .................................... Gregory Peck

Nerves .................................. West Ham Reserves

Newspaper ............................... Linen Draper

Nice .................................... Chicken And Rice

Nick (Prison) ........................... Shovel And Pick

Nip ..................................... Micro Chip

Nipple .................................. Raspberry Ripple

Noise ................................... Box Of Toys

Nose .................................... I Suppose

Nose .................................... Irish Rose

Nose .................................... Ruby Rose

Nun ..................................... Current Bun

Nun ..................................... Hot Cross Bun

O

Off ..................................... Frank Bough

Old Man (Husband) ....................... Frying Pan

Organ ................................... Molly O'Morgan

Out Of Jail ............................. Whale And Gale

Out Of Order ............................ Allan Border

Overcoat ................................ I'm Afloat

Own (Alone) ............................. Jack Jones

Own (Alone) ............................. Pat Malone

Own (Alone) ............................. Todd Sloane

P

Pants ................................... Adam And The Ants

Parcel .................................. Elephant And Castle

Park .................................... Light And Dark

Park .................................... Noah's Ark

Park .................................... Plimsoll Mark

Party ................................... Russel Harty

Pawn (In-Pawn) .......................... Bullock's Horn

Pee ..................................... Ken Smee

Peelers (Police) ........................ Pittsburg Steelers

Penny ................................... Abergavenny

Penny ................................... Coalheaver (From Giver)

Penny ................................... Kilkenny

Piano ................................... Joanna

Pickle .................................. Harvey Nichol

Piddle .................................. Jimmy Riddle

Piece (Lunch) ........................... Merlyn Rees

Pikey ................................... Do As You Like-y

Piles (Haemorrhoids) .................... Chalfont St. Giles

Piles (Haemorrhoids) .................... Duke Of Argyles

Piles (Haemorrhoids) .................... Farmer Giles

Piles (Haemorrhoids) .................... Metric Miles

Piles (Haemorrhoids) .................... Nobby Stiles

Piles (Haemorrhoids) .................... Nuremberg Trials

Piles (Haemorrhoids) .................... Sieg Heils

Pill .................................... Jack And Jill

Pillow .................................. Tit Willow

Pillow .................................. Weeping Willow

Pillows ................................. Rolling Billows

Pinch (To Steal) ........................ Half Inch

Pint Of Ale ............................. Ship In Full Sail

Pipe .................................... Cherry Ripe

Piss (On The) ........................... Cousin Sis

Piss .................................... Arthur Bliss

Piss .................................... Cuddle And Kiss

Piss .................................... Gypsy's Kiss

Piss .................................... Hit And Miss

Piss .................................... Mickey Bliss

Piss .................................... That And This

Pissed .................................. Brahms And Lizst

Pissed .................................. Oliver Twist

Pissed .................................. Schindler's List

Pissed .................................. Scotch Mist

Pitch (Stall Or Stand) .................. Hedge And Ditch

Pocket .................................. Lucy Locket

Pocket .................................. Sky Rocket

Ponce ................................... Alphonse

Ponce ................................... Charlie Ronce

Ponce ................................... Joe Ronce

Pony (Twenty-Five Pounds) ............... Macaroni

Poof (Homosexual) ....................... Iron Hoof

Poor .................................... On The Floor

Pox ..................................... Nervo And Knox

Pox ..................................... Surrey Docks

Prat .................................... Paper Hat

Prayer .................................. Weaver's Chair

Prick (Penis) ........................... Hampton Wick

Priest .................................. Far East

Psychiatrist ............................ Trick Cyclist

Pub ..................................... Nuclear Sub

Pub ..................................... Rub-A-Dub

Pube .................................... Rubik's Cube

Punters ................................. Hillman Hunters

Q

Queen (Homosexual) ...................... Nellie Dean

Queer (Homosexual) ...................... Brighton Pier

Queer (Homosexual) ...................... Ginger Beer

Quid (One Pound) ........................ Saucepan Lid

Quid (One Pound) ........................ Teapot Lid

R

Races ................................... Airs And Graces

Rain .................................... Andy Cain

Rain .................................... Pleasure And Pain

Randy ................................... Port And Brandy

Readies (Ready Money) ................... Nelson Eddy's

Rent .................................... Burton On Trent

Rent .................................... Duke Of Kent

Ride .................................... Charlie Pride

Right ................................... Isle Of Wight

Ring .................................... Highland Fling

River ................................... Shake And Shiver

Road .................................... Frog And Toad

Rotten .................................. Reels Of Cotton

Row (Quarrel) ........................... Barn Owl

Row (Quarrel) ........................... Bull And Cow

Rum ..................................... Finger And Thumb

Rum ..................................... Tom Thumb

Run Away ................................ Botany Bay

Runs (Diarrhoea) ........................ Radio Ones

S

Sack .................................... Tin Tack

Saloon Bar .............................. Balloon Car

Sandals ................................. Roman Candles

Sauce ................................... Rocking Horse

Saw ..................................... Bear's Paw

School .................................. Jah Rule

Score (Twenty Pounds) ................... Apple Core

Score (Twenty Pounds) ................... Bobby Moore

Scotch .................................. Gold Watch

Scotch .................................. Pimple And Blotch

Scouse (Liverpudlian) ................... Mickey Mouse

Scouts .................................. Brussel Sprouts

Sea ..................................... Housemaid's Knee

Sense ................................... Eighteen Pence

Sex ..................................... Oedipus Rex

Shabby .................................. Westminster Abbey

Shakes .................................. Hatti Jacques

Shaky ................................... Currant Cake-y

Shambles ................................ Jakki Brambles

Shave ................................... Chas And Dave

Shave ................................... Dig In The Grave

Shave ................................... Ocean Wave

Shilling ................................ Thomas Tilling

Ship .................................... Ha'penny Dip

Shirt ................................... Dicky Dirt

Shirt ................................... Uncle Bert

Shit .................................... Brad Pitt

Shit .................................... Eartha Kitt

Shit .................................... Tom Tit

Shite ................................... Barry White

Shite ................................... Ben Cartwright

Shite ................................... Turkish Delight

Shits (Diarrhoea) ....................... Two Bob Bits

Shitter ................................. Council Gritter

Shitter ................................. Gary Glitter

Shoe .................................... How Do You Do

Shoes ................................... Ones And Twos

Shoes ................................... Rhythm And Blues

Shop .................................... Lollipop

Shovel .................................. Lord Lovell

Shower .................................. David Gower

Sick .................................... Moby Dick

Sick .................................... Pat And Mick

Sick .................................... Tom And Dick

Silly ................................... Daff-A-Down Dilly

Silly ................................... Uncle Willy

Singer .................................. Mangle And Wringer

Sister .................................. Skin And Blister

Six ..................................... Chopsticks

Six ..................................... Tom Mix

Sixty-Six ............................... Clickety Click

Skins (Cigarette Papers) ................ Vera Lynns

Skint ................................... Boracic Lint

Slash (Piss) ............................ Charlie Nash

Slash (Piss) ............................ Pie And Mash

Sleep ................................... Bo-Peep

Slippers ................................ Big Dippers

Slippers ................................ Kippers

Smokes (Cigarettes) ..................... Ash And Oaks

Sneeze .................................. Bread And Cheese

Snide ................................... Bonnie And Clyde

Snout (Tobacco) ......................... Salmon And Trout

Soap .................................... Band Of Hope

Soap .................................... Bob Hope

Soap .................................... Cape Of Good Hope

Socks ................................... Almond Rocks

Sod ..................................... Fillet Of Cod

Soda .................................... Major Loda

Son ..................................... Bath Bun

Son ..................................... Currant Bun

Song .................................... Ding Dong

Sores ................................... Dudley Moores

Soup .................................... Loop The Loop

Sovereign ............................... Jimmy O'Goblin

Spade ................................... Lemonade

Spanner ................................. Elsie Tanner

Sparrow ................................. Bow And Arrow

Splinter ................................ Alan Minter

Spoon ................................... Man On The Moon

Spot .................................... Selina Scott

Spunk (Sperm) ........................... Harry Monk

Stairs .................................. Apples And Pears

Star .................................... La-Di-Da

Starved ................................. Pear Halved

Starving ................................ Hank Marvin

State (Anguish) ......................... Two And Eight

State (Condition, Esp. Poor) ............ Harry Tate

Steak ................................... Joe Blake

Steak And Kidney ........................ Kate And Sydney

Stellas (Beers) ......................... Nelson Mandelas

Stew .................................... Battle Of Waterloo

Sticks (Countryside) .................... Pick And Mix

Still ................................... Beechams Pill

Stilsons (Pipe Wrenches) ................ Harold Wilsons

Stink ................................... Pen And Ink

Stool ................................... April Fool

Story (Lie) ............................. Jackanory

Stout (Beer) ............................ Salmon And Trout

Stranger ................................ Glasgow Ranger

Street .................................. Field Of Wheat

Stripper ................................ Herring And Kipper

Sub (Pay Advance) ....................... Rub-A-Dub

Suit .................................... Piccolo And Flute

Suit .................................... Tin Of Fruit

Suit .................................... Whistle And Flute

Sun ..................................... Bath Bun

Sun ..................................... Current Bun

Supper .................................. Tommy Tucker

Sure .................................... Bobby Moore

Swear ................................... Lord Mayor

T

Table ................................... Cain And Abel

Tablet .................................. Gary Ablett

Tail .................................... Alderman's Nail

Tail (Prostitute) ....................... Brass Nail

Tailor .................................. Sinbad The Sailor

Tale .................................... Daily Mail

Tale .................................... Newgate Gaol

Talk .................................... Rabbit And Pork

Tan ..................................... Charlie Chan

Tanner (Sixpence) ....................... Lord Of The Manor

Tanner (Sixpence) ....................... Tartan Banner

Tap (Ask For A Loan) .................... Cellarflap

Tap (Ask For A Loan) .................... Star's Nap

Tart .................................... Lionel Bart

Tart .................................... Merryheart

Taxi .................................... Joe Baxi

Tea ..................................... Rosie Lee

Tea ..................................... You And Me

Teeth ................................... Hampstead Heath

Telephone ............................... Dog And Bone

Telephone ............................... Strawberry Rhone

Telly (Television) ...................... Custard And Jelly

Telly (Television) ...................... Ned Kelly

Telly (Television) ...................... Wobbly Jelly

Ten ..................................... Big Ben

Ten ..................................... Cock And Hen

Tenner (Ten Pound Note) ................. Ayrton Senna

Thief ................................... Tea Leaf

Thirst .................................. Geoff Hurst

Throat .................................. Nanny Goat

Throne (Toilet) ......................... Rag And Bone

Ticket .................................. Bat And Wicket

Tie ..................................... Peckham Rye

Tights .................................. Fly-By-Nights

Till .................................... Jack And Jill

Time .................................... Bird Lime

Time .................................... Harry Lime

Tits .................................... Brace And Bits

Tits .................................... Eartha Kitts

Tits .................................... Thrupenny Bits

Titty ................................... Bristol City

Toast ................................... Holy Ghost

Toes .................................... These And Those

Tool .................................... April Fool

Toss .................................... Iron Horse

Tote .................................... Canal Boat

Towel ................................... Mortar And Trowel

Town .................................... Joe Brown

Trainers ................................ Claires Raynors

Tram .................................... Baa Lamb

Tramp ................................... Paraffin Lamp

Trouble ................................. Barney Rubble

Trousers ................................ Round The Houses

Trunks .................................. Chipmunks

Tube (Underground Railway) .............. Oxo Cube

Tune .................................... Stewed Prune

Turd .................................... Douglas Hurd

Turd .................................... Richard The Third

Turkey .................................. Pinky And Perky

Twenty-Two .............................. Dinky Doo

Twig (Understand) ....................... Earwig

Two ..................................... Bottle Of Glue

U

Umbrella ................................ Auntie Ella

Underpants .............................. Beetles And Ants

Underpants .............................. Insects And Ants

Undies (Underwear) ...................... Eddie Grundies

V

Vest .................................... East And West

Vin Blanc (Wine) ........................ Plink Plonk

Voice ................................... Hobson's Choice

Voice ................................... Rolls Royce

Volley .................................. Buddy Holly

Vomit ................................... Wallace And Grommit

W

Wad ..................................... Ken Dodd

Wage .................................... Green Gage

Wager ................................... John Major

Wages ................................... Cat And Cages

Wages ................................... Greengages

Wages ................................... Rock Of Ages

Waistcoat ............................... Charlie Prescot

Waiter .................................. Hot Potato

Walk .................................... Ball Of Chalk

Wank .................................... Barclays Bank

Wank .................................... J. Arthur Rank

Wank .................................... Jodrell Bank

Wank .................................... Peddle And Crank

Wank .................................... Sherman Tank

Wank .................................... Tommy Tank

Wanker .................................. Kuwaiti Tanker

Wanker .................................. Merchant Banker

Warrant Card ............................ Wilkie Bard

Wash .................................... Bob Squash

Water ................................... Fisherman's Daughter

Week .................................... Bubble And Squeak

Whiskers ................................ Brothers And Sisters

Whisky .................................. Gay And Frisky

Whore ................................... Doug McClure

Wife .................................... Duchess Of Fife

Wife .................................... Fork And Knife

Wife .................................... Trouble And Strife

Wig ..................................... Irish Jig

Wig ..................................... Syrup Of Figs

Window .................................. Burnt Cinder

Windy ................................... Mork And Mindy

Wishes .................................. Pots And Dishes

Woman ................................... Gooseberry Pudding

Wood .................................... Do Me Good

Word .................................... Dicky Bird

Wrist Watch ............................. Bottle Of Scotch

Wrist Watch ............................. Gordon And Gotch

Wrong ................................... Pete Tong

Y

Yank .................................... Ham Shank

Yank .................................... Septic Tank

Yank .................................... Sherman Tank

Yank .................................... Wooden Plank

Years ................................... Donkey's Ears

Yid (Jew) ............................... Front Wheel Skid

Yid (Jew) ............................... Tin Lid

 

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