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Practice Time 1SIY Tan, C.-M. (2012).?Search inside yourself: The unexpected path to achieving success, happiness (and world peace). New York: HarperOneWhat happens when you do this – well distraction may be the most common experience, when that happens – be gentle w/ yourselfOften in our meditation, we get distracted by sounds, thoughts, or physical sensations. I suggest a four-step plan to work with such distractions: 1. Acknowledge. 2. Experience without judging or reacting. 3. If you need to react, continue maintaining mindfulness. 4. Let it goMINDFULNESS PRACTICE 1In SIY Meng, offers two ways to experience a taste of mindfulness: the Easy Way and the Easier Way. The creatively named Easy Way is to simply bring gentle and consistent attention to your breath for two minutes. That’s it. Start by becoming aware that you are breathing, and then pay attention to the process of breathing. Every time your attention wanders away, just bring it back very gently. The Easier Way is, as its name may subtly suggest, even easier. All you have to do is sit without agenda for two minutes. Life really cannot get much simpler than that. The idea here is to shift from “doing” to “being,” whatever that means to you, for just two minutes. Just be. To make it even easier, you’re free to switch between the Easy Way and the Easier Way anytime during these two minutes. Any time you feel like you want to bring awareness to breathing, just switch to Easy. Any time you decide you’d rather just sit without agenda, just switch to Easier.?Posture – when you’re in class, what might the teacher say? Sit in a posture that allows you to be alert and relaxed. Perhaps imagining your spine as a string of pearls that’s being held from above, straight and yet not rigid.Allowing your shoulders to drop and perhaps positioning your head so that your chin is pulled down a little bit.Practice Time 2BODY SCANJournaling, 4 min p97 promptsSIY Tan, C.-M. (2012).?Search inside yourself: The unexpected path to achieving success, happiness (and world peace). New York: HarperOne Because emotion is a physiological experience we can create a high resolution awareness of emotion by applying mindfulness to the body.The first one, Body Scan, functions at the level of physiology and works best for developing emotional awareness. The second, Journaling, functions at the level of meaning and works best for developing accurate self-assessment.Let’s do an abbreviated Body Scan – we will focus briefly on those areas most affected by emotion.Settling Attention Let us begin by sitting comfortably for 2 minutes. Sit in a position that enables you to be both relaxed and alert at the same time, whatever that means to you. Now, let us breathe naturally and bring very gentle attention to the breath. You can either bring attention to the nostrils, the abdomen, or the entire body of breath, whatever that means to you. Become aware of in breath, out breath, and space?Now bring your attention to the top of your head, ears, and back of your head. Notice sensations, or lack of sensations, for 1 minuteNow move your attention to your face. Your forehead, eyes, cheeks, nose, lips, mouth, and inside of your mouth (gums, tongue) for?1 minNeck and Shoulders Move your attention to your neck, the inside of your throat, and your shoulders for 1 minBack Move your attention to your lower back, mid back, and upper back for 1 minute. The back carries a lot of our load and stores a lot of our tension. So let us give our backs the kind and loving attention they deserve. Front Now move your attention to the chest and stomach for 1 minute. If it is possible for you, try to bring attention to your internal organs, whatever that means to you. Entire Body at Once And now bring your attention to your entire body all at once for 1 minScan for Emotion Did you find any emotion in your body? If there is any, just notice its presence in the body. If not, just notice the absence of emotions, and catch one if it arises in the next?2 minPositive Emotion Let us now try to experience a positive emotion in the body. Bring to mind a memory of a happy, joyous event or a time when you were optimal and productive or a time when you felt confident. Experience the feeling of positive emotion. Now, bring your attention to your body. What does that positive emotion feel like in the body? In the face? chest, back? How are you breathing? Any difference in level of tension? Let us just experience it for 3 minutes. Returning to Grounding Let us now return to the present. If you find an emotionally charged thought, just let it go. Bring your attention to either your body or your breath, whichever your mind finds more stability in. And let’s just settle the mind there for 2 minutes. (Long pause) Thank you for your attention.Practice Time 3SIY Tan, C.-M. (2012).?Search inside yourself: The unexpected path to achieving success, happiness (and world peace). New York: HarperOne MINDFUL LISTENINGA beautiful way to practice mindfulness, which is almost guaranteed to improve your social life, is to apply mindfulness toward others for the benefits of others. The idea is very simple—give your full moment-to-moment attention to another person with a nonjudgmental mind, and every time your attention wanders away, just gently bring it back. It is just like the meditation we have been practicing, except the object of meditation is the other person. You can practice mindful listening either formally or informally. The formal practice involves creating an artificial environment for one person to speak while another listens mindfully. The informal practice is to listen mindfully to another person and generously give him or her the space to speak during any ordinary conversationFORMAL PRACTICE OF MINDFUL LISTENING In this exercise, we will practice listening in a way that is different from how we usually listen. We will do this in pairs, with a family member or a friend, each person taking turns to be the speaker and the listener. Instructions for the speaker: This will be a monologue. You get to speak uninterrupted for 3 minutes. If you run out of things to say, that is fine; you can just sit in silence and whenever you have something to say, you may continue speaking again. The entire 3 minutes belong to you, you can use the time in whatever ways you want, and know that whenever you are ready to speak, there is a person ready to listen to you. Instructions for the listener: Your job is to listen. When you listen, give your full attention to the speaker. You may not ask questions during these 3 minutes. You may acknowledge with facial expressions, by nodding your head, or by saying, “I see,” or “I understand.” You may not speak except to acknowledge. Try not to over-acknowledge, or you might end up leading the speaker. And if the speaker runs out of things to say, give her the space for silence, and then be available to listen when she speaks again. Let us have one person speak and one listen for 3 minutes and then switch over for another 3 minutes. After that, have a 3-minute meta-conversation, in which both of you talk about what this experience was like for you. Suggested topics for the monologue: ? What are you feeling right now /?What is something that happened today that you want to talk about? ? Anything else you want to talk about…When talking to a friend or loved one Remind yourself that because this person is so valuable to you, he or she is entitled to all your attention and all the space and time needed to express himself or herself.As you listen, give your full attention to the speaker. If you find your attention wandering away, just very gently bring it back to the speaker, as if he or she is a sacred object of meditation. As much as possible, try to refrain from speaking, asking questions, or leading the speaker. Remember, you are giving him or her the valuable gift of airtime. You may acknowledge with facial expressions, or by nodding your head, or by saying, “I see,” or “I understand,” but try not to over-acknowledge so as to not lead the person.Mindful Conversation Includes looping: A loops back until B is satisfied. Start your looping with “What I heard you say is…” AND Dipping or checking in with ourselves.As usual, Thich Nhat Hanh put it most poetically: “The most precious gift we can offer others is our presence. When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers.”Practice Time 4 EATING SCRIPTPick up a raisin and hold it in the palm of your hand. Look at it. Examine it. Describe the raisin. What does it look like? What color is it? How would you describe the texture? Now, feel the raisin in the palm of your hand. What does it feel like against your skin? Pick it up with your other hand. What does it feel like in your fingers? Is it slimy? Rough? Smooth? Soft? Hard? Squeeze it softly. What do you feel? Smell the raisin. Describe how it smells. Put the raisin in your mouth, but do not eat it. What does it feel like on your tongue? What does the texture feel like now? How does it taste? How does the taste compare to the way it smelled? Move it around in your mouth and notice every aspect of the raisin. Bite the raisin and think about what you taste. Now how does the raisin feel in your mouth? Finish chewing and eat the raisin. How did it taste? Describe the experience of the raisin.This exercise is about cultivating awareness and beginning to learn to focus on the here-and-now. It is about being in the present moment and not missing out on it. Sometimes, much of our anxiety or fear is a result of focusing our thoughts on the future - or the past - and forgetting to be present here in this moment. Right here, in this very moment, those things may not need or deserve our attention.This exercise (or a variation of it) can be done with just about anything. Try a pretzel or a piece of fruit. It can also be done with just about any activity. What would it be like to notice every detail of something that we normally do automatically and without much thought? What would it be like to notice every aspect of brushing your teeth or putting on your shoes? Break the activity down into its most fundamental elements. Be right there in the moment. Notice everything. Be nowhere else. Don't miss right now.Read more:? Time 5Empathy - JUST LIKE ME & LOVING KINDNESSSIY Tan, C.-M. (2012).?Search inside yourself: The unexpected path to achieving success, happiness (and world peace). New York: HarperOneTo develop empathy & compassion. To create mental habitsSit in a comfortable position. Relax and alert. 2 min to rest mind on breath. Bring to mind someone you care about. Visualize him or her. FACE THE PERSONJUST LIKE METhis person has a body and a mind, just like meThis person has feelings thoughts and emotions, JLMThis person has, at some point in his or her life, been sad, disappointed, angry, hurt or confused, JLMThis person has, in his or her life, experienced physical and emotional pain and suffering, JLMThis person wishes to be free from pain and suffering, JLMThis person wishes to be healthy and loved, and to have fulfilling relationships, JLMThis person wishes to be happy, JLMLOVING KINDNESSNow, lets allow for some wishes to ariseI wish for this person to have the strength, the resources, and the emotional and social support to navigate the difficulties in life.I wish for this person to be free from pain and sufferingI wish for this person to be happyBecause this person is a fellow human being, just like me / (pause) Now I wish for everybody I know to be happy /(long pause)End with 1 minute of resting the mindSUGGESTIONS FOR DAILY PRACTICE (guide from Jon Kabat-Zinn on )1. A good place to start cultivating mindfulness is in the body.2. Befriending your breath is a good idea, since you can’t leave home without it – and it is so related to our states of mind.3. See if from time to time you can just feel the breath moving in and out of your body.4. Locate where the breath sensations are most vivid, and “surf ” with full awareness on those breath waves, moment by moment – in the belly, at the nostrils, or wherever.5. Try lying in bed for a few moments after you wake up, and just ride on the waves of your own breathing moment by moment and breath by breath.6. Experiment with expanding your awareness around your breath until it includes a sense of the body as a whole lying in bed breathing.7. As best you can, be aware of the various sensations ?uxing in the body, including the breath sensations.8. Just rest in the awareness of lying here breathing, outside of time, even if it is only for a minute or two by the clock.9. When you notice that the mind has a life of its own and wanders here and there, keep in mind that this is just what minds do, so there is no need to judge it.10. Just note what is on your mind if you are no longer in touch with the breath or with the sensations of the body lying in the bed, and without judgment or criticism, just let that be part of your awareness in the moment, and feature once again the breath and the body center-stage in the ?eld of your awareness.11. Repeat step 10 a few million times.12. It is very easy to fall into the thought stream and get caught up in the future (worrying, planning) and the past (remembering, blaming, pining) and in reactive and often painful emotions.13. No need to try to stop any of this from happening when you can just bring a big embrace of openhearted, spacious, accepting awareness to it and, lo and behold, you are once again sitting on the bank of the thought stream, listening to the gurgling but not so caught up in the torrent for the moment.14. You can cultivate mindfulness in this way lying in bed for a few moments in the morning, or in the evening before going to sleep.15. You can also cultivate mindfulness sitting, standing, walking, and eating – in fact, in any position or situation, including brushing your teeth, taking a shower, talking on the phone, running, working out at the gym, cooking, picking up the kids, making love, whatever is unfolding in your life in the present moment.16. It helps to be present for it and for yourself.17. Remember – the real meditation is your life, and how you inhabit it moment by moment. MINDFULNESS Beginning or Deepening a Personal Meditation Practice (guide from Jon Kabat-Zinn on )1. The real meditation is how you live your life.2. In order to live life fully, you have to be present for it.3. To be present, it helps to purposefully bring awareness to your moments – otherwise you may miss many of them.4. You do that by paying attention on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally to whatever is arising inwardly and outwardly.5. This requires a great deal of kindness toward yourself, which you deserve.6. It helps to keep in mind that good or bad, pleasant or unpleasant, the present moment is the only time any of us are alive. Therefore, it's the only time to learn, grow, see what is really going on, ?nd some degree of balance, feel and express emotions such as love and appreciation, and do what we need to do to take care of ourselves – in other words, embody our intrinsic strength and beauty and wisdom – even in the face of pain and su?ering.7. So a gentle love a?air with the present moment is important.8. We do that through learning to rest in awareness of what is happening inwardly and outwardly moment by moment by moment – it is more a “being” than a “doing.”9. Formal and informal meditation practices are speci?c ways in which you can ground, deepen, and accelerate this process, so it is useful to carve out some time for formal practice on a regular daily basis – maybe waking up ?fteen or twenty minutes earlier than you ordinarily would to catch some time for ourselves.10. We bring awareness to our moments only as best we can. 11. We are not trying to create a special feeling or experience – simply to realize that this moment is already very special – because you are alive and awake in it.12. This is hard, but well worth it13. It takes a lot of practice.14. Lots of practice15. But you have a lot of moments – and we can treat each one as a new beginning.16. So there are always new moments to open up to if we miss some.17. We do all this with a huge amount of self-compassion.18. And remember, you are not your thoughts or opinions, your likes or dislikes. They are more like weather patterns in your mind that you can be aware of – like clouds moving across the sky, – and so don’t have to be imprisoned by.19. Befriending yourself in this way is the adventure of a lifetime, and hugely empowering. 20. Try it for a few weeks – it grows on you. Model The contributions of cognitive science and neuroscience have underscored the position that the interplay of biological, psychological and social influences are recognized as major forces that drive behavior.There are interrelationships of personal and career problems and that affect multiple life roles.Definition of MindfulnessAwareness that arises from paying attention, in a particular way, on purpose, in the present moment, nonjudgmentally ~ Jon Kabat-ZinnDefinition of Meditation – scientific definition (Brefczynski –Lewis as cited in (Tan, 2012) meditation refers to a family of mental training practices that are designed to familiarize the practitioner with specific types of mental processes – meditation is practice SIY 102 videoDefinition of Emotional IntelligenceThe ability to monitor one’s own and others’ feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one’s thinking and action ~ Salovey and MayerEmotional Intelligence theory as popularized by GolemanTwo primary dimensions, Intrapersonal & InterpersonalIntrapersonalSelf Awareness = Knowledge of one’s internal states, preferences, resources, and intuitionsSelf-Regulation = Management of one’s internal states, impulses, and resourcesMotivation = Emotional tendencies that guide or facilitate reaching goalsInterpersonalEmpathy = Awareness of others’ feelings, needs, and concernsSocial Skills = Adeptness at inducing desirable responses in othersAuthentic Leaders NorthousePromising new field, in response to societal demands for genuine, trustworthy and good leadershipConceptualized in three ways, intrapersonally, developmentally, interpersonallyIntrapersonally –self knowledge, self-regulation, self-concept (Shamir and Eilam)Developmentally – develops over lifetime, triggered by major life events; positive psychological qualities and strong ethics; self-awareness, internalized moral perspective, balanced processing, relational transparency –Avolio, WalumbwaInterpersonally – relational, created by leaders and followers togetherGeorge – compassionIdeas about Authentic AdvisingMindfulness and Emotional Intelligence can generate Authentic AdvisingWhen one endeavors to skillfully and regularly apply mindfulness practices to enhance their emotional intelligence skills, one may become an effective authentic advisor.Benefits to advising – when an advisor develops the interpersonal and intrapersonal skills associated with effective emotional intelligence enhanced by mindfulness practice, they are more present during the session and hear the student/client more completely. A better understanding of the student (by the advisor and the student) will emerge that will lead to more successful guidance. A nonjudgmental safe zone will be created in the office.Advising presence will be improved. Active listening will be used.Advisor resilience will be improved. The advisor will be better prepared to respond to stress and stressful situations. The advisor will be able to respond to each individual and situation with flexibility and accuracy.Students will develop emotional intelligence through the interactions. They will become clear of their goals and the barriers through the powerful questioning.Selected ReferencesCampbell, J., & Christopher, J. (2012). Teaching Mindfulness to Create Effective Counselors. Journal Of Mental Health Counseling, 34(3), 213-226Carmody, J., Baer, R. A., L. B. Lykins, E., & Olendzki, N. (2009). An empirical study of the mechanisms of mindfulness in a mindfulness-based stress reduction program. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 65(6), 613–626.George, B. (2010). True north: Discover your authentic leadership (Vol. 143). Wiley. com.Goldin, P. R., & Gross, J. J. (2010). Effects of mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) on emotion regulation in social anxiety disorder.?Emotion,10(1), 83.Goleman, D. (1995). Emotional intelligence. New York: Bantam Books.James, Principles of Psychology, Chap 11 , J. (1994).?Wherever you go, there you are: Mindfulness meditation in everyday life. New York: HyperionLesser, M. (2013).?Know yourself, forget yourself: Five truths to transform your work, relationships, and everyday life. Novato, Calif: New World Library.Palmer, P. J., Zajonc, A., & Scribner, M. (2010).?The heart of higher education: A call to renewal : transforming the academy through collegial conversations. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.Roeser, R. W. pec. (2009). An Education in Awareness: Self, Motivation, and Self-Regulated Learning in Contemplative Perspective. Educational Psychologist, 44(2), 119–136. doi:10.1080/00461520902832376Salovey, P., & Mayer, J. D. (1989). Emotional intelligence. Imagination, cognition and personality, 9(3), 185-211.Shapiro, S. L., Jazaieri, H., & Goldin, P. R. (2012). Mindfulness-based stress reduction effects on moral reasoning and decision making. Journal Of Positive Psychology, 7(6), 504-515. doi:10.1080/17439760.2012.723732Shapiro, S. L., Brown, K. W., & Astin, J. O. H. N. (2011). Toward the integration of meditation into higher education: A review of research evidence. Teachers College Record, 113(3), 493-528.Smalley, S. L., & Winston, D. (2010). Fully present: The science, art, and practice of mindfulness. Cambridge, Mass.: Da Capo Lifelong.Tan, C.-M. (2012).?Search inside yourself: The unexpected path to achieving success, happiness (and world peace). New York: HarperOne.Vago, D., Silbersweig, D. (2012). Self-Awareness, Self-Regulation, and Self-Transcendence (S-ART)- A Framework for Understanding the Neurobiological Mechanisms of MindfulnessWalumbwa, F. O., Avolio, B. J., Gardner, W. L., Wernsing, T. S., & Peterson, S. J. (2008). Authentic Leadership: Development and Validation of a Theory-Based Measure. Journal Of Management, 34(1), 89-126. ................
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