“Hi, my name is Jill and I’ m in Recovery”



“Hi, my name is Jill, and I’m in Recovery”Mini-ethnography of a Recovery WorshipJillian GouldScarlett RudlangAshley GravesLindsey Livingston[3/25/12]The GatheringHome of Recovery Worship—Ministry of First United Methodist Church“The Perfect Place for Imperfect People”Introduction Recovery Worship is a religious community located at 3910 25th Street south Fargo, also called “The Gathering”. It is a place where Christians are able to come together to worship and gather strength to battle against addictions; it is deemed “The Perfect Place for Imperfect People.” This ethos was found throughout the entire service. Recovery Worship aims to be a place of strength for those with addictions and provide tools to aid in this recovery, which range from meetings to their twelve-step program. However, they do not limit themselves to being only for people with addictions. A quote found on Recovery Worship’s website sheds light on their mission, “Everyone is welcome to our non-judgmental worship community. People who have not suffered from addictions, who long for a non-traditional service, are also welcome to join us as we hear the great gift of God's amazing grace in our lives,” (Recovery Worship).Research objective Our main objective was to observe an unfamiliar religious setting. Our group decided that attending Recovery Worship service would be a unique opportunity and a service unlike any of us had experienced before. Our group was eager to observe how this particular church interacted with people normally labeled as “outsiders,” whether individuals were addicts themselves or know someone who is. They claim to accept people from all walks of life knowing each individual has their own story. In retrospect, we were probably the ones who were considered the “outsiders” rather than the other way around because we did not suffer from addiction like the majority of the congregation. While addiction is sadly a very common problem in today’s society, it is not discussed openly, especially in most religious settings. We were also interested to see how the congregation itself reacted to newcomers within the church. Addiction support groups are often very anonymous and we felt that we may be looked at as outsiders. However, the accepting nature of the church did not make us feel as if we were outsiders, which is what makes this church so distinct and unlike any other congregation.Methodology In our research, we assumed the role of being complete participants. We actively took part in the worship service and did not state or explain to the congregation that our purpose was for that of research. In that respect, there was an aspect of deception, as the rest of the congregation may have assumed that we were there either because of addiction or for moral support. We participated fully in the worship service, following along in prayer, communion, song, and even in the closing circle at the end of the service, where everyone gets in a huge circle around the room, hold hands, and recites a closing prayer. We were able to be discrete in our presence with the congregation being fairly large in size. We were only noticed when the pastor asked if anyone was attending for the first time. When he asked, we all raised our hands. Therefore, the other individuals in the congregation knew that it was our first time in attendance but were, more than likely, still under the assumption that we were in recovery or there for support. Environment The environment of Recovery Worship was very similar to other churches that we had attended. The building was very similar to a traditional Christian church. It had an entryway, separate classrooms for Sunday school or other group meetings, and a sanctuary where the service was held. An aspect of the sanctuary that was not typical was that of the seating. Most churches contain pews, but at this particular church, there were about one hundred chairs facing the alter where the Pastor spoke from. As we entered, we were greeted, noticing that there were tables with coffee and donuts where people were casually interacting with one another. We agreed this was fairly unusual that they presented this to us before the service, as in most Christian services these items are presented to people after the service. In addition, if food is served, it is traditionally put away before the service starts. Here, however, the refreshments were left out during the duration of the service and individuals were seen grabbing something to eat even during the service. It was very relaxed and welcoming. The atmosphere during the service was very upbeat and did have resemblance to a recovery meeting in some ways. For example, when an individual stood to speak, they introduced themselves first followed by “and I am in Recovery” or “and I am a member of ALANON.” Everyone that attended the service greeted us with a smile, sometimes a handshake, and the ultimate feeling that they were glad that you were there. Overall, Recovery Worship does a great job of making everyone feel welcome no matter one’s reason for attending—whether one is new to the service, a returning individual, or someone that attends services occasionally.Reflexivity Grounded Theory, in particular, Constructivist Grounded theory helped in allowing us to become aware of our individual presuppositions or biases and to ensure our data was as valid as possible. “…Constructivists attempt to become aware of their presuppositions and to grapple with how they affect the research,” (Charmaz 131). Rather than starting with a hypothesis, data is collected first. Therefore, one could assume that a Methodist church would have been performed in a traditional manner, however, this proved far from the case. By gathering data first (using a grounded theory approach), we were able to overcome biases in our assumptions about the stereotypical rituals that would occur in a traditional church service and were also able to overcome not regularly attending church. Religion is a topic that involves several differences in opinions among people. The four members of our group have not been consistently attending religious services, and though this is true, it does not mean that we do not have our own beliefs in a higher power and in religion. It is simply that church is not an active part of our daily lives. However, after attending the church service, some group members have thought about attending more often due to the nature of their beliefs and the connection they felt with the service. But nevertheless, some group members felt uncomfortable like they did not truly fit in due to why we were attending the service, or more directly, because we were for research purposes rather than for worshiping God. Before attending the service, one group member asked the other what they should wear, as they did not know what was considered appropriate for this church and did not know the standards of acceptable church attire. It may be “assumed” that churchgoers dress nice but this fact alone confirms that, even though we have not attended church regularly, we still had expectations and assumptions of what our experience at the service would be like. We tried to be consciously aware of this, and it allowed us to be reflexive and to attend the service with an open mind, with no preconceptions or biases. Ethical Issues The primary ethical issue with this research is the deception to the other people within the congregation. If the others in the congregation knew our purpose was for research, they may have become uncomfortable and not as prone to be open with their thoughts and feelings. However, we did not violate any rules, as even the pastor commented that worship at this church was “open to everyone and is judgment free.” In this regard, we feel deception was necessary to keep the atmosphere a safe and open place to worship and also to avoid the “Hawthorne Effect”. If the congregation and the pastor knew we were there for research, they may have behaved differently knowing that they were being observed. By keeping our identities other than our names a secret, we were able to make true observations of the environment and the fundamentals of this particular worship.Observations This worship service was focused on and around the twelve steps. While each recovery program, such as Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) or Narcotics Anonymous (NA), has varying steps, the basic twelve steps are as followed:1. We admitted we were powerless over our addiction - that our lives had becomeunmanageable.2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God.4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human beings the exact nature of our wrongs.6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.7. Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptlyadmitted it.11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact withGod as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God's will for us andthe power to carry that out.12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carrythis message to other addicts, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.These 12 steps are deeply rooted in religion therefore in order to follow a 12-step program; it is essential to believe in a higher power. The service we attended was at ten o’ clock on a Sunday Morning. This service was held at The Gathering located at 3910 25th street South in Fargo. This service was very similar to traditional Christian services but there were some definite observed differences. The service was led by Pastor Ray and there were approximately 100 people in attendance. We all found it interesting that there were very few children in attendance. At the beginning of the service the congregation was instructed to introduce yourself to your neighbors at this time everyone within the congregation, our group included, shook hands with others and introduced themselves. Members of the congregation walked about the entire sanctuary to meet others, this was surprising to us. We had been accustomed to simply turning around in your pew to shake your neighbors hand in church. Members of the congregation were very welcoming, seemed very nonjudgmental, and overall very happy to see new faces at the service. Next, Pastor Ray asked if anyone had any announcements or celebrations. The Sunday school teacher stood up and spoke and stated that they were “excited to have 6 children in Sunday school today!” on this particular Sunday. The celebrations were sobriety based, with one individual celebrating eight months of sobriety and another celebrating fifteen months. Following the announcements and celebrations was the reading of the Serenity prayer. This prayer is grounded in the recovery program. Everyone in the congregation read the prayer aloud. The serenity prayer goes as follows: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference Living one day at a time: enjoying one moment at a time; accepting hardship as the pathway to peace. Taking as he did this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it. Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will, that I may be reasonably happy in this life, and supremely happy with Him forever in the next. Amen.” –Reinhold Niebuhr After the Serenity Prayer, the Pastor led the congregation in an Opening Hymn, “I Need Thee Every Hour.” Everyone in the congregation stood and sang together while reading the lyrics from the projector screen. Following the Hymn, the Pastor led the congregation in talking to God. After the “We Talk to God” portion of the sermon, the congregation joined in a prayer together, led by the Pastor. Following the Prayer of the Day, the Ushers passed around the plates for the people of the congregation to give their offerings. The main feature of the sermon was the “Time for Sharing” portion. The focus was on relationships and whether they are more important than who is right and who is wrong. The Pastor asked the congregation what their thoughts were on the statement and what they thought would make relationships more important than being “right”. Approximately seven people raised their hands to address the statement, and all agreed that relationships were more important than who was right and wrong. For example, one woman used her relationship with her husband as an example, stating that her and her husband often argue about things, and in the end, they chose to “agree to disagree.” Many of the members who chose to respond to the relationship statement used their own personal experiences as justification for their answers, and many used comedy in their statements, which proceeded in laughter throughout the congregation. After the members of the congregation gave their responses to the relationship question, the Pastor put in a movie that addressed the relationship theme. This video was made by Pastor Ed, who was battling ALS. The video focused on the importance of forgiveness. This tied in very well with step five of the twelve steps. Pastor Ed talked about the importance of forgiveness and admitting your wrongdoing. He provided the congregation an example of a personal experience he had with another pastor whom he previously worked with. While he felt she was very judgmental of others and they disagreed on many different views, he forgave her and did not place any blame on her. He explained to the congregation how important it is to forgive people, and that once you do you do not have to continue a relationship with that person, but to be at peace with yourself you must forgive others and not withhold judgment or grudges. Following the sermon and the hymn after, the worship turned to “children’s time,” in which the children go up in front of the worship and actively participate. At this worship service, the children went up and were part of a baptism. One of the children had a stuffed animal with her and the pastor made a joke asking her if she wanted her giraffe baptized. He made another joke of baptizing another child’s turtle, saying, “I’m sure he would love to be baptized, we could even throw a rock in the bowl for him to sit on”. Interestingly, the baptism was not of another child or infant, but an adult. The adult being baptized was a white male who appeared to be in his late thirties. The adult confirmed his faith in front of the congregation, and the pastor baptized him with holy water by sprinkling rather than by immersion. After, the pastor once again introduced him in front of the congregation. The congregation clapped for the man, and he went and took his place back in the congregation. The children were also blessed with the holy water as the pastor dipped his finger in the water and put a cross on each of their foreheads. The next part of the worship was “prayers for people”. In this part of the worship the pastor said a couple prayers for certain people and after other people in the congregation would raise their hands and request a prayer—whether it was simply someone’s name or a certain situation. One man raised his hand and asked the people to pray for his daughter who thinks “Jail is fun”. The pastor replied with a fun joke saying, “God has his work cut out for him there,” and said a prayer for his daughter. Jokes in the worship were all well received, and no one took offense. Overall, about twenty people raised their hands and all had people with whom they wished to pray for. Next in worship was the “confession and forgiveness.” In this part of the worship, the congregation was led in prayer to confess their sins and ask for forgiveness. This was followed by the traditional ritual of communion, in which we all chose to participate in. Communion at this worship service was open for all members, regardless of their denomination of religion or their beliefs—this seems to be a rarity as many churches require that an individual must be baptized and a member to participate. Communion consisted of the traditional bread wafers of Christian faith and had grape juice as a symbol for the “blood” of Christ, whereas many traditional Christian services use red wine. After communion, the worship came to a closing. This was done by everyone getting up and forming what was called an “encouragement circle”. Everyone in the congregation formed a huge circle around the room and held hands while saying a final closing prayer. This concluded the church service and people began to talk and grab their belongings to leave. Many people stayed around after the service to talk to each other and see how one another were doing. A group of people even went over to a spot designated for smokers outside and had a smoke together to chat before they left. This spot had a bench for people to sit on and a place to place their cigarettes when they were done smoking. Theory Emile Durkheim questioned, “How do individuals come to a sense of belonging and social integration?” and “how are they able to constrain their selfish desires for the purpose of group solidarity?” Also, “how are all of the various interests of the parts of the social system coordinated to match the interest or stability of the whole system?” In 1893, Durkheim answered these questions by stating it was the complex division of labor that kept a society in “stasis,” which built integration and solidarity; a sort of occupational independence in absence of intimate connections. This is because, in the current postmodern era, much of one’s time is consumed in the public sphere, leaving little time for the private sphere and intimate connections with one’s family and neighbors. Durkheim stated that with the Great Societal Transformation, that there was an increasing tendency for there to be increased crime in cities, increased family disintegration, and decreased religion, all leading to disintegration within a society. Messener and Rosenfield, in their analysis of the “American Dream,” state that United States institutions are based on capitalism, and the economy assumes dominance over all other social institutions—like those of the family, religion, and education—and also that American values of success are based on achievement, individualism, materialism, consumerism, etc. Therefore, many individuals find themselves in a state of anomie. Durkheim defines anomie as “normlessness,” and with increasing demands on individual’s time, there becomes ambiguous social rules and connections—and if not ambiguous, at the very least, conflicting. Robert Merton takes Durkheim’s notion of anomie a step further and states that anomie is a state of dissatisfaction from strain—the strain one feels from attempting to reach the goals of “success” but, with particular obstacles in one’s life, is unable to attain them. This could be concluded to cause a sense of alienation from society. Merton states that when an individual is unable to compete with cultural demands, they resort to certain types of behavior. The individuals suffering from addictions at the Recovery Church would be labeled by what Merton deemed “retreatists,” those that resort to drugs and alcohol as a way to combat pressures of society (Thompson and Bynum, 123-126). People attending the service at Recovery attend to find a sense of belonging— a collective solidarity—after being potentially alienated by their addictions. Durkheim posed the question “how are all of the various interests of the parts of the social system coordinated to match the interest or stability of the whole system?” It can be explained, by the congregation and individuals at Recovery Worship, through religion and morality. Everyone had the same goal of overcoming addictions, which gives them a common purpose and adds to the stability of the worship service. It could be stated that Recovery Worship would be a good example of why Durkheim had a paradigm shift in 1912, when he concluded that it was morality rather than the division of labor that holds society together. The solidarity that a complex division of labor provides has its own limitations—those of allowing certain people to be alienated. It should be noted, however, that Recovery Worship is unique in that it does not promote religion and morality the way that Durkheim described. He reasoned that human beings think in binary terms and that morality is simple—black and white—but Recovery brings people together mainly by creating a “spirit of discipline,” another way to build group solidarity. Recovery Worship seemingly realized, like Durkheim’s worldview, that humanity is flawed—there is a struggle between unlimited desires (which leads to anomie and could possibly turn individuals into, what Merton would label, “retreatists”) and radical individualism. Recovery Worship uses morality as a source of enablement rather than it being constraining, and they are able to do this by deviating from stereotypical church practices. Durkheim also stated that morality and religion are inherently connected and that somehow, even though it results in subjectivity, we need to find a way to extract morality from religion and therefore re-define morality because morality evolves. We believe Recovery Worship is practicing a form of this evolution.Limitations One limitation of our research is that none of our group members is a recovering addict, which may have restricted our understanding of the message and significance behind the sermon. The premise for our being there (research) may have served as a limitation in that we did not participate in the sermon as recovering addicts, but as observers, which makes it hard to truly appreciate the ideas and significance of the sermon as recovery worship. Another limitation is that we only went to one sermon and had only the information from that one particular service to include in our discussion of the religious rituals. If we had gone to multiple services, we may have been able to formulate different conclusions and add additional theories to our research. Conclusion Recovery Worship provides a rare opportunity for those with addiction to recover through spiritual growth and through the advocated “twelve step program” all within a very non-judgmental/non-traditional setting. They help those who are Christian and non-Christian alike, those with gambling, drug, alcohol, sex, or other problems. They also provide ALANON meetings, Narcotics Anonymous meetings, and Alcoholic Anonymous meetings for those who need extra support and guidance. Recovery Worship recognizes that many times people with addictions stray from traditional church settings for fear of rejection and stigmatization. Their overall goal is to provide a comfortable place to support those on the path of recovery. One does not need to be a member and therefore can come and go as needed—or one can choose to worship at Recovery on a weekly basis—there is no discrimination. Works CitedCharmaz, Kathy. Constructing Ground Theory. London: Sage, 2006."Recovery Worship." Recovery Worship. First United Methodist Church, 2012. Web. 25 Mar2012. <;. "Resources and Information about the 12 Step Program." N.p., 2011. Web. 25 Mar 2012. <, William E., and Jack E. Bynum. Juvenile Delinquency: A Sociological Approach. Eighth Ed. Boston: Pearson, 2010. 123-126. Print. ................
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