Tina Shilling Capstone Project



Final Research PaperTina ShillingEarly Childhood Theme and Life Cycles Dan BeamanPacific Oaks CollegeAbstractThroughout this semester I have explored Erickson’s Eight Ages of Man, I have analyzed and reflected upon my own life experiences through these stages to write several reflection papers. This essay is a summary of these reflection papers, and concludes with an interview of an elder woman to help explore Erikson’s Eighth Stage. I will elaborate on my experiences with this course and the stages I have experienced through Erikson’s views. Eight Ages of Man was written by Erik H. Erickson, were he reflected upon eight stages he felt were significant to the development of an individual. He discussed different pros and cons through each stage that could either benefit or hinder an individual in their developmental process. Erikson began the developmental process with Trust vs. Mistrust. In this stage the infant is relying on the mother to meet the basic needs of feeding, proper sleep and the ease of bowel movements. “The first demonstration of social trust in the baby is the ease of his feeding, the depth of his sleep, and the relaxation of his bowels.” ( Erikson , 1985). The infant will learn to trust the mother, and these trusting patterns will follow throughout each stage, and will reflect upon our relationships. “Each successive stage and crisis has a special relation to one of the basic elements of society, and this for the simple reason that the human life cycle and man’s institutions have evolved together.” In the second stage Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt, the motor skills are more developed and the child begins to develop independence. “Muscular maturation sets the stage for experimentation with two simultaneous sets of social modalities: holding on and letting go.” (Erikson, p 251) Their curiosity flourishes and with the support of the parents children can begin developing their autonomy yet if the parents are over-bearing, signs of shame and doubt will emerge. The third stage of Erikson’s development is Initiative vs. Guilt, whereas the child may begin preschool, and will initiate to explore new activities and will try to make sense of their environments. The role of the parents and teachers are to allow mistakes to be made and not to scold for unwanted behaviors and actions. Stage four is Industry vs. Inferiority; the individual will be around school age. The child will be learning new ideas, “school seems to be a culture all by itself, with its own goals and limits, its achievements and disappointments.” (Erikson, Pg. 259) The child will acquire to use tools, and absorb work ethics through this stage. The child can also be discouraged through this stage, if he is not able to make sense of these tools and ideas taught. As a result, they may further choose to isolate themselves to help get through this stage. In the individual’s adolescence he or she will go through the stage of Identity vs. Role confusion. Now the individual begins to find himself, and will realize strength and weaknesses, and will focus on the future. The individual wants acceptance from peers, however the dangers of this stage can be not finding oneself, and can be reflected upon the previous stages. In the sixth stage Intimacy vs. Isolation, the young adult begins to make relationships with others. The individual is ready to commit to another and begin starting a family. The danger at this point may be that an individual may have trouble with trusting others and forming these relationships, and possibly isolating themselves further from others in fear of love. The seventh stage is Generativity vs. Stagnation, the individual is now a matured adult, and may have raised children, and have an established career feeling the importance of caring for one another. “Mature man needs to be needed, and maturity needs guidance as well as encouragement from what has been produced and must be taken care of.” (Erikson, P. 267) Feelings of failure can develop if these needs are not met, and the longing of something more may persist in the individual. In the eighth stage, Integrity vs. Despair, the individual is typically over the age of sixty five. This is the final stage of Erikson’s developmental outlook, the individual will spend time on reflecting the person they have been, if they feel they have lived a meaningful life, and they will be at peace with themselves and their lives, but if they feel they have not accomplished all they wished they may fear passing away. “The lack of loss of this accrued ego integration is signified by fear of the death.” (Erikson, Pg. 269) I will now use past reflections papers throughout the semester and discuss my relationship with these stages and how different events in my life have helped me flourish through these stages of development and how they have hindered me. Through interviewing my mother, I had learned that I was a fairly “easy” baby she says, I rarely cried and had two older brothers that were very thrilled to have a little sister, and two parents that were excited to have a little girl as well. My mother recalls me cuddling with my older brother Jonathan on a bean bag chair for a majority of the day. She says she was so happy to see how nurturing Jonathan was towards me and I was just so attached to him. I felt I had many trusting relationships during this stage, and she stated there was never a time that I was alone, always had a family member there to entertain me and love me during this stage of development. My family was very religious ( Christian ) and I feel I was viewed as a gift from God and had a great support system during this stage that allowed me to trust in my family. Through my second stage of development I was given much freedom to make mistakes. I feel I was very blessed to be the third of four children; my brothers had set the path for me to be able to be mischievous and not have severe consequences. With my parents already having two children, they allowed me to explore and give me room for mistakes and learn from my environment around me. I always wanted to be just like my brothers, Erikson states, “A sense of rightful dignity and lawful independence on the part of adults around him gives to the child of good will the confident expectation that the kind of autonomy fostered in childhood will not lead to undue doubt or shame in late life. Thus the sense of autonomy fostered in the child and modified as life progresses, serves (and is served by) the preservation in economic and political life of a sense of justice.” (Erikson, 1985).” I remember being very head strong as a child, and very confident and adventurous in trying new things. I feel it was because of the numerous opportunities I had to learn from playing with my older siblings and neighborhood kids, and the freedom to make mistakes. Initiative vs. Guilt is the third stage of development and Erickson states “And here we note that according to the wisdom of the ground plan the child is at no time more ready to learn quickly and avidly, to become bigger in the sense of sharing obligation and performance than during this period of his development.” (Erickson, 1985, P.258) I feel like I had previously stated, I was given a lot of independence as a child and through this stage I was able to be creative and explore new ideas and learn from my environment. I was always encouraged to go play outside, and I loved playing rough with my brothers, exploring the woods in our neighborhood and trying to be one of the guys. I did not attend preschool; instead I stayed home with my mom and would play with the neighborhood kids my age and have one on one time with my mom during the day, while we waited for my brothers to come home from school. In stage four is when reality began to set into place about my family dynamic and I learnt to make sense of the world around me. School became a huge priority, and being paid for my grades, we learned that school was our job, just as our parents had jobs throughout the day. Erikson states in his text “Thus the inner stages seems all set for “entrance into life,” except that life must first be school life, whether school is field or jungle or classroom.” (Erikson, 1985, P. 258) Although I had difficulties in school, and was later told I was dyslexic in the third grade, I was embarrassed during school at times when called to read out loud, or being scolded for how long it was taking me to do assignments because it was difficult to understand the material with my reading difficulties. I was home schooled for third grade to help with my reading, my mother was able to stay at home with me and help me during this process. Enjoying always the company of the other kids while playing, I was so happy to go back to school in the fourth grade and surprisingly I tested with a reading level of a sixth grader. Before working with my mom at home on my reading skills, I had to be taken out of class for special reading programs because I was so far behind. Even though my reading struggle was over, there was more trouble for me in fourth grade. My father went to jail yet again, and I was able to fully understand the reason behind it all. My father was an alcoholic and very abusive when he drank. As a younger child I just looked at it as I had two dads, one who was amazing and taught me how to ride a bike, throw the ball, shoot a gun etc. And then one dad who would get very drunk, physically and verbally abuse the family, and then not remember anything the next day. It was a family secret that I grew up with and never realized that it was not okay that my father would hurt us, until I met Mrs. O’Daniel, a teacher that loved me whole heartedly and reassured me that his actions were wrong, and that I deserved to tell the truth about the pain he caused us, and be able to not be fearful to come home. My family always tried to protect my father and lied about incidences, yet in fourth grade they knew we were protecting him and he went to jail for a very long time. My mother who always was my best friend began working more to support the family, and we began feeling safe. But then came the day that he was released from jail, and came home again, and the cycle of violence and abuse continued through my next stage of Identity Vs Role Confusion.In the book” House On Mango Street”, Esperanza stated “They are the only ones who understand me. I am the only one who understands them. Four skinny trees with skinny necks and pointy elbows like mine. Four who do not belong here but are here. Four raggedy excuses planted by the city. “ (Cisneros, Pg. 74) I feel this line had described my stage of Identity Vs. Role Confusion. I was made to keep the secret of my dysfunctional family for so long, and then was court ordered to talk to therapist about this secret, which was very confusing and I became isolated not wanting to discuss these things. My mother was always my best friend and was working to finish school to get us out of this life cycle. She received her nursing degree, and divorced my father and moved us to San Diego for a better life. I was finally able to make friends and hangout with them outside of school, being isolated by my father in past stages in fear of our family secret coming out. Yet I chose to make friends that were not very healthy for me. I began experimenting with drugs, and creating relationships with people that only furthered my unhealthy behaviors. I feel my mother allowed me to make these mistakes because she felt guilty telling me “no” with our rough past. My mother also worked nights, making it easy for me to leave the home and have my own curfew to abide by. I was also very discouraged moving to San Diego with my schooling. When I lived in Alaska, I was on track with school and received good grades in order to do team sports. Coming to San Diego, many of my classes were not accepted and I was a junior who had to take classes as a freshman. So I had to go to an alternative school, where most of the students were kicked out of the mainstream schools they originally went to. Not surprisingly these peers I met there helped me on my path to self-destruction, but by the grace of God I had hit my rock bottom at the age of eighteen. I decided to join the army after High School but I used to smoke marijuana. Now in order to be accepted into the military I could not smoke, so my next crutch was to rely heavily on pills. I ended up being arrested and in order to still go to boot camp, I had to do attend an inpatient treatment program for drug therapy. Through this therapy I met many people, including military members that showed me I was on a wrong path, and inspired me to go to school instead of joining a military service. I began going to school full time and working full time teaching gymnastics to young children. By teaching gymnastics I realized I had always had a passion for working for children and began to get a degree in child development. In my sixth stage of intimacy vs. isolation, I began the stage with isolation. With my past and many of my friends still doing drugs, I had to isolate myself from those people and begin to focus on school and work. I found a job in a small Christian preschool and was very proud of myself for the changes I had made. I began developing new friendships and had found a boyfriend that I fell in love with very quickly. Although he had much growing up to do, I felt very comfortable with him and had an amazing five year relationship with him. I also learned though that he would get angry when drinking, just like my father and I had stayed with him and tried to get him on the right path. I did not realize how much of my energy was being drained by trying to help him, and how I lost friendships during this process, because all my energy was involved in him. We moved in together and more sacrifices were made to continue this unhealthy relationship. We began fighting constantly and I began resenting him for not working, and spending a majority of his day playing video games and drinking. Once the relationship had ended we were able to see the good and the bad from it, and still remain good friends to this day. I am currently still in this stage at the age of 25 and I still spend most of my time with school and work. I find it very difficult to balance my schedule sometimes, but I absolutely love my job, and enjoy learning from schooling what I can do to become a better teacher. I still teach preschool for a Christian organization, and I even make time to volunteer at church. I have a zoo of pets that I enjoy taking out on hikes or to the beach, and I have a close relationship with my family and am still working on making more times for my peers. The last stage of Erikson’s development I had not experienced but had so much fun interviewing my aunt and learning more about her past. My aunt had grown up in Germany and reflecting upon her life experiences of these stages helped me understand her more on a deeper level. Throughout the interview, it was difficult to understand her at times, due to her limited English but nevertheless I learnt a tremendous amount about her. I can tell that she was confident in her life, and that if the time did come when she passes, she would not be fearful of death as Erikson suggest in the Generativity vs. Stagnation stage of development. It was a bonding moment asking her these questions and learning about how she did not have to go to preschool, because the first week there a child had splashed her in the face with water. She cried and complained to her mother and never had to go back. Instead her mom stayed with her during the day and signed her up for ballet classes. She reminisced on a memory of her peeing her pants in school, when a teacher scolded her for touching the presents for a class present exchange during her stage of Industry vs. Inferiority. But her fondest memory of the stage is when she performed a ballet piece in front of her whole school, and was applauded and told what an amazing job she did. She began realizing that ballet was a passion of hers and spent a lot of her development of stage five, inspiring to be a professional ballerina. A tough decision arouse when she had to decide to pursue her passion for dance or continue her schooling. She was accepted in a performing arts school after middle school but she would not be able to receive a high school diploma if she decided to do so. She would have been the only family member to go to high school, and decided to pick school instead. She said that was a very difficult decision for her, but nothing she would regret now. I was very interested in hearing about her stage six-eight for it reminded me of a life time movie. She had talked about how she met my uncle, an Iraqi citizen who was on a scholarship by his government to be educated in Karlsruhe, Germany. She fell in love with him and indulged into his culture to later realize that when moving with him to Iraq, she as a woman would not be respected.Even though they got married and had two children, they lived apart for several years and only met in various European cities, where her husband was allowed to represent his country. He was pushed by his government to marry an Iraqi woman and let go of the “Western “influence. Although she loved him very much, his culture put pressure on him to leave her, and she felt very disrespected by the people in his culture. It was difficult for her to be allowed to leave with her children, and she had to get permission from the dad to leave the country, although their marriage couldn’t last with the pressure of his culture on her, she spent every few months visiting him in different countries to keep in contact with him and the boys. He did remarry an Iraqi woman, and my aunt stayed married to him and kept his last name.? She moved back across the hall from her parents, and this is the most meaningful part of our conversation, her advice to be given to someone my age is to stay with your birth family. She said even when she left and made a family of her own, she felt so blessed to be able to rely on her parents and her family.? She says she sees many young people creating families of their own, and leaving their families behind and forgetting about their birth family. She explained how divorce does happen and you need that support system to fall back on.In conclusion, I really enjoyed analyzing myself through these stages, it had helped me remember certain incidences in my life that I did not recall. I also realized certain pros and cons of my own character, I found out through my struggles in many stages with my family dynamic made it difficult for me to find my own self-identity. Going through these stages and seeing what I have gone through, has also made me realize how much I have accomplished in such a short time span. I had chaos in my life for a majority of it, and these last seven years or so, I have made tremendous strides. I look forward to continuing to progress and make positive changes in my life as well as the lives of others as a teacher.?ReferencesErikson, E. (1985). Childhood and society: Eight ages of man. New York, NY: W.W Norton & Company Inc.B. Shilling (Personal communication, January 18, 2015)Marita Al-Rawi ( Personal communication , February 10, 2015Beaman, D. (February 16, 2013). Trust Vs. Mistrust Autonomy Vs. Shame and Doubt [ PowerPoint Slides], Retrieved from , D. (February 16, 2013). Initiative Vs. Guilt, Industry Vs. Inferiority [PowerPoint Slides], Retrieved from , D. (February 16, 2013). Identity Vs. Role Confusion [ PowerPoint Slides], Retrieved from , S (1986). Teacher. New York, Simon @ Schuster, Inc. Cisneros, S (1991). The House On Mango Street. New York, Vintage Books. ................
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