Thesis Statements: Problems and Solutions



Thesis Statements: Problems and Solutions

From Writing Analytically

What does it mean to have an idea? Must an idea be something that is entirely “original”? Must it revamp the way you understand yourself or your stance toward the world?

Such expectations are unreasonably grand. Clearly, a writer in the early stages of learning about a subject can’t be expected to arrive at an idea so original that, like a Ph.D. thesis, it revises complex concepts in a discipline. Nor should you count as ideas only those that lead to some kind of self-revelation.

What, then, does it mean to have an idea? We can probably best understand what ideas are by considering what ideas do and where they can be found. Here is a partial list:

• An idea answers a question: it explains something that needs to be explained.

• An idea usually starts with an observation that is puzzling, with something that you want to figure out rather than something that you think you already understand.

• An idea may be the discovery of a question where there seemed not to be one.

• An idea may make explicit and explore the meaning of something implicit – an unstated assumption upon which an argument rests, or a logical consequence of a given position.

• An idea may connect elements of a subject and explain the significance of that connection.

• An idea often accounts for some dissonance – that is, something that seems not to fit together.

Weak Thesis Type 1: The Thesis Makes No Claim

The following statements are not productive theses, because they do not advance an idea about the topics the papers will explore.

Problem Examples

1. I’m going to write about Darwin’s concerns with the evolution in The Origin of Species.

2. This paper will address the characteristics of a good corporate manager.

Solution

Raise specific issues for the essay to explore.

Solution Examples

1. Darwin’s concern with survival of the fittest in The Origin of Species leads him to neglect a potentially conflicting aspect of his theory of evolution-survival as a matter of interdependence.

2. The very trait that makes for an effective corporate manager-the drive to succeed-can also make the leader domineering and therefore ineffective.

Weak Thesis Type 2: The Thesis Is Obviously True or Is a Statement of Fact

The following statements are not productive theses, because they do not require proof. A thesis needs to be an assertion with which it would be possible for readers to disagree.

Problem Examples

1. The jean industry targets its advertisements to appeal to young adults.

2. The flight from teaching to research and publishing in higher education is a controversial issue in the academic world. I will show different views and aspects concerning this problem.

Solution

Find some avenue of inquiry-a question about the facts of an issue raised by them. Make an assertion with which it would be possible for readers to disagree.

Solution Examples

1. By inventing new terms, such as “loose fit” and “relaxed fit,” the jean industry has attempted to normalize, even glorify, its product for an older and fatter generation.

2. The “flight from teaching” to research and publishing in higher education is a controversial issue in the academic world. As I will attempt to show, the controversy is based to a significant degree on a false assumption: that doing research necessarily leads teachers away from the classroom.

Weak Thesis Type 3: The Thesis Restates Conventional Wisdom

Restatement of one of the many clichés that constitute a culture’s conventional wisdom is not a productive thesis unless you have something to say about it that hasn’t been said many times before.

Problem Examples

1. An important part of one’s college education is learning to better understand others’ point of view.

2. From cartoons in the morning to adventure shows at night, there is too much violence on television.

3. “I was supposed to bring the coolers; you were supposed to bring the chips!” exclaimed ex-Beatle Ringo Starr, who appeared on TV commercials for wine coolers a few years ago. By using rock music to sell a wide range of products, the advertising agencies, in league with corporate giants such as Pepsi, Michelob, and Ford, have corrupted to spirit of rock and roll.

Solution

Seek to complicate-see more than one point of view on-your subject. Avoid conventional wisdom unless you can qualify it or introduce a fresh perspective on it.

Solution Examples

1. Although an important part of one’s college education is learning to better understand others’ points of view, a persistent danger is that students will be required simply to substitute the teacher’s answers for the ones they grew up uncritically believing.

2. Although some might argue that the presence of rock-and-roll soundtracks in TV commercials has corrupted rock’s spirit, this point of view not only falsifies the history of rock but also blinds us to the ways that the music has improved the quality of television advertising.

Weak Thesis Type 4: The Thesis Offers Personal Conviction as the Basis for the Claim

A statement of one’s personal convictions or one’s likes or dislikes does not alone supply sufficient grounds for a productive thesis.

Problem Examples

1. The songs of the punk rock group Minor Threat relate to the feelings of individuals who dare to be different. The group’s songs are composed of pure emotion. Pure emotion is very important in music, because it serves as a vehicle to convey the important message of individuality. Minor Threat’s songs are meaningful to me because I can identify with them.

2. Sir Thomas Moore’s Utopia proposes an unworkable set of solutions to society’s problems because, like communist Russia, it suppresses individualism.

3. Although I agree with Jeane Kirkpatrick’s argument that environmentalists and business should work together to ensure the ecological future of the world and that this cooperation is beneficial for both sides, the indisputable fact is that environmental considerations should always be a part of any decision that is made. Any individual, if he looks deeply enough into his soul, knows what is right and what is wrong. The environment should be protected because it is the right thing to do, not because someone is forcing you to do it.

Solution

Try on other points of view honestly and dispassionately; treat your ideas as hypotheses to be tested rather than as obvious truths. In the following solutions examples, we have replaced opinions (in the form of self-evident truths) with ideas-theories about the meaning and significance of their subjects that could be supported with evidence.

Solution Examples

1. Sir Thomas Moore’s Utopia treats individualism as a serious but remediable social problem. His radical treatment of what we might now call “socialization” attempts to redefine the meaning and origin of individual identity.

2. Although I agree with Jeane Kirkpatrick’s argument that environmentalists and business should work together to ensure the ecological future of the world, her argument undervalues the necessity of pressuring businesses to attend to environmental concerns that may not benefit them in the short run.

Weak Thesis Type 5: The Thesis Makes an Overly Broad Claim

An overly general claim is not a productive thesis, because it oversimplifies and is too broad to direct development. Such claims usually lead either to “say-nothing” theses or to reductive categorical thinking.

Problem Examples

1. Violent revolutions have had both positive and negative results.

2. There are many similarities and differences between the Carolingian and the Burgundian Renaissances.

3. Othello is a play about love and jealousy

4. It is important to understand why leaders act in a leadership role. What is the driving force? Is it an internal drive for the business or group to succeed, or is it an internal drive for the leader to dominate others?

Solution

Convert broad categories and generic (fits anything) claims to more specific assertions; find ways to bring out the complexity of your subject. As we will demonstrate, rethinking is to a significant degree a matter of rephrasing.

Solution Examples

1. The difference between the Carolingian and Burgundian Renaissances outweigh the similarities.

2. Although Othello appears to attack jealousy, it also supports the skepticism of the jealous characters of the naïveté of the lovers.

3. Although violent revolutions begin to redress long-standing social inequities, they often do so at the cost of long-term economic dysfunction and the suffering that attends it.

Five Ways of Looking At a Thesis

Erik Simpson

1. A thesis says something a little strange.

Consider the following examples:

A: By telling a powerful story of failed love, Romeo and Juliet demonstrates the destructive effects of family pride.

B: Although we are told from the beginning that it is a tale of "star-crossed lovers," Romeo and Juliet produces its tragedy by calling attention to a series of near-misses, places where the protagonists' downfall could be avoided.

C. Mercutio might seem like a minor character in Romeo and Juliet, but his language actually tells us something important about how the play works.

I would argue that all of these statements are perfectly correct, but they are not all strange. The first one says something obvious about the play; it is more of a moral than a thesis. Since the play tells us repeatedly about "the destructive effects of family pride," your reader does not need a paper to point that fact out. The other two say something, well, weird. Weird is good. When you start to construct a thesis, think about what an easy one-sentence summary of the text would look like. Then try to come up with something more specific than that, something with a specific twist on the standard interpretation.

2. A thesis creates an argument that builds from one point to the next, giving the paper a direction that your reader can follow as it develops.

This point often separates the best theses from the pack. If your thesis leads to a paper that simply follows the plot of a text as it goes along, it probably needs to provide a stronger statement of the paper's logic. Example A, for example, invites a plot summary of the play. Examples B and C say something more interesting and specific, but you could revise them to indicate more strongly how each paper will build its case.

3. A thesis fits comfortably into the Magic Thesis Sentence (MTS).

The MTS: By looking at _____, we can see _____, which most readers don't see; this is important because _____.

Try it out with the above examples. Notice that the MTS adds a new dimension to point number one above. The first part of the MTS asks you to find something strange ("which most readers don't see"), and the second part asks you to think about the importance of the strangeness. Thesis A would not work at all in the MTS. Theses B and C would work only partially; both of them would require some additional information to work better.

4. A thesis says something about the text(s) you discuss exclusively.

If your thesis could describe many works equally well, it needs to be more specific. Let's return to our examples from above:

A: By telling a powerful story of failed love, Romeo and Juliet demonstrates the destructive effects of family pride.

B: Although we are told from the beginning that it is a tale of "star-crossed lovers," Romeo and Juliet produces its tragedy by calling attention to a series of near-misses, places where the protagonists' downfall could be avoided.

C. Mercutio might seem like a minor character in Romeo and Juliet, but his language actually tells us something important about how the play works.

The worst offender by this standard would be a thesis such as "Romeo and Juliet is a powerful story of failed love." There are thousands of stories of failed love in print or on screen, and you can probably think of a number of examples quickly. Example A above is a little more specific, but not enough: the destructive effects of family pride play a part in many books and films, whether they end happily or sadly.

The other theses fare better. Example B uses a specific quotation and makes a claim that would not apply, for instance, to Hamlet. Example C certainly talks about a specific character in Romeo and Juliet, but it would pass this test better with a specific explanation of what exactly Mercutio's language tells us "about how the play works."

5. A thesis makes a lot of information irrelevant.

If your thesis is specific enough, it will make a point that focuses on only a small part of the text you are analyzing. You can and should ultimately apply that point to the work as a whole, but a thesis will call attention to specific parts of it. Let's look at those examples again. (This is the last time, I promise.) One way of spotting the problem with example A is to note that a simple plot summary would support its point. That is not true of the others: example B points to the "near-misses" it mentions, and example C will concentrate on Mercutio's speeches.

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